All language subtitles for Kidding.S01E09.Lt. Pickles.WEB.METCON.HI.C

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian Download
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,600 [ENNUI LE TRISTE] Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:09,320 Pickles on Ice, 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,110 starring Mr. Pickles himself, as played 4 00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,280 by gold medalist Tara Lipinski. 5 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:15,650 [JEFF] I want my head back. 6 00:00:15,675 --> 00:00:18,480 Pickles on Ice requires a Mr. Pickles, Jeff. 7 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,980 Otherwise, it's just Tara Lipinski 8 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,460 ice dancing through a fever dream. 9 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,033 [DISQUIETING WALTZ] 10 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,240 Here. 11 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,240 [JOSIP] ♪ Today's hidden ingredient ♪ 12 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,440 - Ecstasy! - He's some Croatian voice actor. 13 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,520 ♪ ♪ 14 00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:36,080 [WILL] Hi, Havana? 15 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,690 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:42,080 - [MADDY SCREAMING] - Maddy, we're not getting divorced. 17 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,230 ♪ ♪ 18 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,270 I promise. 19 00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:47,780 [SCOTT] This is Mr. Pickles-san. 20 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:50,100 He's gonna follow Uncle Jeff around for a few weeks 21 00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:52,110 and then bring back what he learned to Japan. 22 00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:53,360 English, eh... 23 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,760 mm... not amazing. 24 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,190 You speak English? 25 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:58,900 [UNACCENTED] I'm not speaking English. 26 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,820 What the actual fuck? 27 00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,400 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:04,500 I'm in remission. 29 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,850 I love you so much. 30 00:01:05,930 --> 00:01:07,020 [VIVIAN] Now that I can 31 00:01:07,060 --> 00:01:08,270 plan ahead, I'm sorry. 32 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,880 Those plans don't involve you. 33 00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:12,430 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,310 [EIGHT-BIT MUSIC] 35 00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,180 It'sss all so beautiful! 36 00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:19,890 Agh! 37 00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:21,560 Quel fromage! 38 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,600 - Agh! - Mr. Pickles... agh! 39 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,720 [GUNFIRE] 40 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,520 [CHATTERING EXCITEDLY] 41 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,720 [JEFF] Every pain needs a name. 42 00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,430 [GIBBERS] Ah! 43 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,640 ♪ ♪ 44 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,390 Excuse me. Hey. 45 00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,880 What? 46 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:41,140 Uh, can I buy three chickens? 47 00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:44,060 [EIGHT-BIT MUSIC CONTINUES ON PHONE] 48 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:49,100 ♪ ♪ 49 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:57,900 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 50 00:01:57,930 --> 00:02:00,770 [MAN MIMICKING GUNSHOTS] 51 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,970 ♪ ♪ 52 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,670 Some college kid put it together. 53 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,936 We're sending a cease-and-desist. 54 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,120 [ENNUI LE TRISTE] Quel fromage! 55 00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:10,250 - Has Jeff seen this? - We don't know. 56 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,900 Please get this game taken down 57 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,650 before he does. It'll upset him. 58 00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:15,670 You won't like him when he's upset. 59 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,920 [DISQUIETING SYNTH MUSIC] 60 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:26,280 ♪ ♪ 61 00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,380 [TV ANNOUNCER] Today through December eighth 62 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,760 at the Columbus City Convention Center, 63 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:39,610 Tara Lipinski Visits Pickle Barrel Falls On Ice! 64 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:40,740 Get your tickets now. 65 00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:43,750 [CELL PHONE RINGING AND BUZZING] 66 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,080 Hello? 67 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,170 [OTHER JEFF] Your father loves you, Jeff, 68 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,750 but he's going to animate you. 69 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:53,840 - Who is this? - He doesn't want to, but he will. 70 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,240 He's asking all around Eastern Europe, 71 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:58,370 where talent is cheap and plentiful, 72 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,350 trying to find a voice like yours. 73 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,460 Am I on the radio? 74 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:02,816 He wanted me to call and threaten you. 75 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,100 I said no. I'm your friend. 76 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,980 But there are hundreds like me, Jeff. 77 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,857 Time's running out. It's not too late. 78 00:03:08,882 --> 00:03:10,380 Listen to your father, Jeff. 79 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:11,560 Fall in line, Jeff. 80 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,380 Your entire existence is at stake! 81 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:15,020 - [LINE BEEPING] - Please, Jeff! 82 00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:17,760 I learn English from watching your show. 83 00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,480 [DARK MUSIC] 84 00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,070 Hello. 85 00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:22,480 [OTHER OTHER JEFF] Listen, fucko. 86 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,070 Don't listen to that other guy. 87 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:26,670 He's crazy. I need this job. 88 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,520 I have a large Serbian family. 89 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,470 Little Ognjen needs his sarma! 90 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,700 Blow your fucking brains out. 91 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,550 I want to see your skull fragments 92 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:36,070 bounce off the White House windows! 93 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,120 Make me cartoon, pickle man. 94 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,690 Make me cartoon! 95 00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,780 Please leave me alone. 96 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:44,020 [FAINT GUNFIRE] 97 00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:47,070 [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING] 98 00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:48,660 ♪ ♪ 99 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,900 [THE OOPS] Oops, you got me! 100 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,840 [GUNFIRE] 101 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,730 [ASTRONOTTER BABBLING] 102 00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:58,700 [SY] It's all so beautiful! 103 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,400 [GUNFIRE, MUSIC CONTINUE] 104 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,570 What are you guys playing? 105 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:07,070 ♪ ♪ 106 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,380 I need something from you. 107 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,600 I spoke to our lawyers. 108 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,280 They're getting it taken down immediately. 109 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,160 Getting what taken down immediately? 110 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:17,480 Nothing. 111 00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:23,980 Is the Pickles on Ice-tacular sold out? 112 00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,940 Because St. Joan's said that I could 113 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:28,440 take 20 of my sick little pickle pals. 114 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,660 One of them, Brian, 115 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,150 has Landau-Kleffner syndrome. 116 00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:35,570 His wish was to meet Ms. Lipinski. 117 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,300 I promised I would grant it. 118 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,370 What happened to my office, Jeff? 119 00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:46,070 Did you do that? 120 00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:49,900 Did you call several Serbian Jeffs? 121 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,340 I'm worried Vivian breaking up with you 122 00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:55,380 the way she did has put you in a particularly dark place. 123 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:57,730 A woman is gonna live! 124 00:04:57,820 --> 00:05:00,200 It's a miracle. We should be happy for her. 125 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,600 I know I am! 126 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,480 Tell you what: don't go to D.C. next week, 127 00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:08,350 and I'll rethink turning you into a cartoon. 128 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,390 You're not turning me into a cartoon, 129 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,790 and I am going to D.C., 130 00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,480 because I have to light the national tree. 131 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,020 I don't want you on live TV. 132 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,280 You're in too much pain. 133 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:20,070 I stood behind that podium 134 00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:22,270 months after my son died, 135 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,400 and nobody tried to stop me. 136 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,700 I don't see why some 137 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,792 run-of-the-mill breakup suddenly tips the scales. 138 00:05:27,817 --> 00:05:30,520 I'm beginning to think that last year was a mistake, 139 00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:32,260 and I'm sorry, 140 00:05:32,340 --> 00:05:34,610 but last year, your eyes were soft. 141 00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:37,020 Your voice was a Mormon trumpet, 142 00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:39,820 a peaceful horn. 143 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,620 Now you are a bagpipe 144 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:43,940 of insanity. 145 00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:48,580 This is not insanity. 146 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:50,860 This is how honesty looks 147 00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:53,690 when you're inside out and upside down. 148 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,320 Jeff, 149 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,360 you're having a breakdown. 150 00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:58,860 [DARK ORCHESTRAL MUSIC] 151 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,720 I'm having a breakthrough. 152 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,980 You know, I've never seen you lie, 153 00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:06,080 except to yourself. 154 00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:10,230 ♪ ♪ 155 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,360 I'll get the tickets for the ice show. 156 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,380 I'm glad you're coming around to it. 157 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,400 ♪ ♪ 158 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,900 [SIGHS] 159 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,260 [VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYS] 160 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,020 [ASTRONOTTER BABBLES] 161 00:06:23,110 --> 00:06:26,800 [SY] It'sss all so... agh! 162 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,860 [ENNUI LE TRISTE] Quel fromage! 163 00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:32,230 ♪ ♪ 164 00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:34,180 [CHICKENS CLUCKING] 165 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,800 [PAINT HISSING] 166 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,730 [BLACK LIPS' "MAKE YOU MINE" PLAYING] 167 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:44,400 ♪ ♪ 168 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,160 ♪ Waking up ♪ 169 00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:53,380 ♪ And hit the ground running ♪ 170 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,400 ♪ Eyes on the prize, we'll cloud our eyes ♪ 171 00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:58,320 ♪ The river streams keep on flowing ♪ 172 00:06:58,440 --> 00:06:59,480 ♪ ♪ 173 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,140 ♪ You're leaving town ♪ 174 00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:02,190 ♪ ♪ 175 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:05,300 ♪ It's a brand-new day ♪ 176 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,960 ♪ What was it now, you're in, not out ♪ 177 00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:09,430 ♪ While those wheels keep on turning ♪ 178 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,150 [PEOPLE YELLING, CHICKENS CLUCKING] 179 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,400 ♪ I need a little loving ♪ 180 00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:13,690 ♪ Tell me everything ♪ 181 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,690 ♪ Will be all right ♪ 182 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,380 ♪ It's only ten more miles ♪ 183 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:21,900 ♪ And I'm coming on home tonight ♪ 184 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,070 ♪ Gonna make you mine ♪ 185 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,940 ♪ Gonna make you mine ♪ 186 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:33,400 ♪ ♪ 187 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,050 I need to know, did you have sexual relations 188 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,650 with the Japanese version of your brother? 189 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,180 Mr. Pickles-san is independently handsome. 190 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,600 He's your brother with subtitles. 191 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,070 I would rip you a new one if you had any asshole left. 192 00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:52,960 Seriously, where do you get this stuff? 193 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,080 Me, a homosexual? I am the... 194 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,520 straightest dude I ever met. Go, Buckeyes. 195 00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:01,230 We had that whole coded conversation 196 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,710 about pianos and clarinets! 197 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,570 I was talking about pianos and clarinets. 198 00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:07,970 What-what-what were you talking about? 199 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:10,400 Your daughter saw her piano teacher 200 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:13,140 giving you a hand job in our driveway! 201 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:15,600 Oh, my God, who knows what she saw? 202 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,480 Rex is my friend. 203 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,400 Sure, we garden sometimes, 204 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,580 but there's nothing lurid going on between us. 205 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,640 You almost came out to me, Scott! 206 00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,690 [SCOTT] When? 207 00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:28,020 That night in bed! 208 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,860 All I remember 209 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:31,720 is a night you wanted me 210 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:34,180 to name a happy child of divorce, 211 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,640 so think about that 212 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:37,400 before you become your mother. 213 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,820 [LAUGHING] You're gay. 214 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,730 You're gay. You're gay. 215 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,440 You're gay, gay, gay, gay, gay! 216 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,190 And my pussy needs attention. 217 00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:49,400 My... pussy... needs... attention. 218 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,980 Can I go to Pop-Pop's? 219 00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,940 Why do you hate me? 220 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,420 I don't hate you... 221 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,230 even when I hate you. 222 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,980 Don't forget your promise. 223 00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:06,690 Yeah, I remember. 224 00:09:06,770 --> 00:09:09,440 You promised you and Dad would always stay together. 225 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,580 I did say that. I remember. 226 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,570 Hi. 227 00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:16,540 Hi. 228 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,650 Is that what you're wearing to the premiere? 229 00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:20,920 Mommy's not coming. 230 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,120 No, Scott's in an... 231 00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:23,250 he's in one of his moods. 232 00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:24,330 I think he's depressed. 233 00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,400 [SCOTT] I love pussy! 234 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,160 Hey, it's gonna be okay. 235 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,860 - Is it? - [SEB] Yes. 236 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,400 That's good. 237 00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:37,730 Did you really think you could commit 238 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,180 such a blatant infidelity 239 00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:41,260 - without any consequences? - I'm sorry. 240 00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,900 I wasn't thinking. I was selfish. 241 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:45,980 I'm a terrible person. 242 00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:48,240 A child lives in this house, Deirdre. 243 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,800 We'll tell her you're away on a trip. 244 00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:51,400 Fine, you should tell her. 245 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,540 I'm a terrible liar. Oh. 246 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,270 Ohayo gozaimasu. 247 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:05,940 [SPEAKING JAPANESE] 248 00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:19,660 He needs to find another place to sleep. 249 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,860 I agree. 250 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:23,480 He's overstayed his welcome. 251 00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:25,750 A-and seriously, how much longer 252 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:26,950 do you need to stay here? 253 00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:28,730 It-it-it's a puppet show. 254 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:31,230 You're not learning the ways of the freaking Jedi. 255 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,660 Have a nice day. 256 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,020 [SCOTT] Yeah, fuck you. 257 00:10:34,110 --> 00:10:35,380 God damn it. 258 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,650 [DOOR CLOSES] 259 00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:47,860 I think we should fuck. 260 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,820 [UNEASY MUSIC] 261 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,320 ♪ ♪ 262 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,070 [DEIRDRE BREATHING HEAVILY] 263 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:56,770 ♪ ♪ 264 00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:58,400 I cannot. I'm sorry. 265 00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:00,480 All Pickles-sans take a vow of chastity. 266 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:03,730 This has been tradition since the show began. 267 00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:05,650 How many Pickles-sans have there been? 268 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:06,820 I'm the second. 269 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,270 I think we should fuck. 270 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,580 I cannot. I'm sorry. 271 00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,300 I serve a higher moral authority: 272 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,860 the children of Japan. 273 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,280 I think... 274 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,220 we should fuck! 275 00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:20,560 [SARA] Who wants an autograph? 276 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,770 [CHILDREN] Oh, I do. I do. 277 00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:26,360 [SARA] Oh, here you go, kid. I like that sweater. 278 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,706 - [GIRL] Thank you. - [SARA] Who's next? 279 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,620 - [GIRL] I am. - She's beautiful. 280 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,520 You really like watching Ms. Lipinski, don't you, Brian? 281 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,270 If I stop watching, 282 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,020 she'll fall down. 283 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,320 Well, then you better not take your eyes off her. 284 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,400 [CELL PHONE RINGING AND BUZZING] 285 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:47,340 _ 286 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,850 Hmm. 287 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,390 Hello. 288 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,980 [PRINCIPAL WARD] Hi, Mr. Pickles. 289 00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:55,260 This is Principal Ward from Will's school. 290 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,360 We have a bit of a situation here. 291 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,270 [VIDEO GAME BEEPING] 292 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,690 [MIMICKING GUNSHOTS] 293 00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:02,360 [ENNUI LE TRISTE] Oh, mon dieu! 294 00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:04,280 Life is meaningless. 295 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,070 [SY BUZZES] 296 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:07,440 [ASTRONOTTER BABBLING] 297 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,360 [SOAP SCUM] Hey, that hurts! 298 00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,220 Looks like someone got a new phone. 299 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,570 [VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE] 300 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,870 [SOAP SCUM YELLING] 301 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,310 ♪ ♪ 302 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,500 [PRINCIPAL WARD] Thank you, Will. 303 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,240 You can wait out here. 304 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,760 Can I see the parents now, 305 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:24,570 and only the parents? 306 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,200 Have they found number three yet? 307 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,740 [WHISPERING] There is no number three, is there? 308 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,320 [LAUGHS] Why'd you do it? 309 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,440 To impress that girl. 310 00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,800 You think she got the message? 311 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,400 [SIGHS] Women. 312 00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:56,540 Women. 313 00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:58,760 There is no good way to say this. 314 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:01,720 One of Will's chickens pecked a cook in the genitalia. 315 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,716 It swelled up, and we had 316 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,190 to put a special sock around it. 317 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,900 Will generally doesn't act like this. 318 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,020 He'll apologize. 319 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,940 I like Will, but he's changed. 320 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,570 He has new friends, 321 00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:14,980 and I can't prove it, but... 322 00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:16,580 I think he's smoking marijuana. 323 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:18,080 It's an epidemic. 324 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,940 [PRINCIPAL WARD] Every family has a Will. 325 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,560 My brother Paul started as a Will. 326 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:26,060 Paul owes a lot of people money. 327 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,690 Paul once got so drunk on alcohol, 328 00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:31,020 he broke into a bowling alley at night 329 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:33,880 and fried his own food at the snack bar. 330 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,230 I don't think Will is Paul yet, so... 331 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,400 I'm letting him off with a warning. 332 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:43,770 Thank you for your lenience and your candor. 333 00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,980 The pot thing, we take very seriously. 334 00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:49,340 Why can't Will be an asshole? 335 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,880 Hmm? 336 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,800 Why can't Will be an asshole? 337 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,520 I'm sorry. I like that he's 338 00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:57,020 an asshole. I don't know why. 339 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,070 Sometimes it's okay to be an asshole. 340 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,110 Sometimes the world needs assholes. 341 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,955 Paul sounds awesome. I'd like to hang out with Paul. 342 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,960 Paul's living his best life. 343 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,420 I don't understand. 344 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,860 I do. 345 00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:13,640 We love our children. 346 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,390 We love them when they're good, 347 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,460 but we love them more when they challenge us. 348 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,880 When children misbehave, 349 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,070 they're reminding us 350 00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:25,480 of how much we must love them 351 00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:29,140 if we're still willing to tuck them in at night. 352 00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:32,440 When Will acts out, 353 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,520 it reminds her of his deceased brother. 354 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,100 I think we should suspend him. 355 00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:47,080 [SNIFFLES] I'm sorry, I have to go. 356 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,730 [WILL] What happened? 357 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,570 [SIGHS] You're suspended. 358 00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,630 Now let's go get some hotcakes. 359 00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,980 Yeah? 360 00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,360 All of us? 361 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,210 Did you want me to join, 362 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:05,230 or are you guys... just want family time? 363 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,020 Um, I think just the family, if that's okay. 364 00:15:09,730 --> 00:15:11,470 Principal Ward, 365 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,740 I found the number three chicken. 366 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,220 Good work, Barnaby. 367 00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,900 Uh, let's get out of here. 368 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,820 [DOOR BANGS OPEN] 369 00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:29,360 Jeff's left. I don't think he's coming back. 370 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:30,610 Put on the Pickles. 371 00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:31,760 No, I'm sorry. 372 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:34,500 I promised him I would be myself and only myself. 373 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:35,990 [SEB] I've sunk my reputation 374 00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:38,430 and a considerable chunk of my 401(K) 375 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,940 into this endeavor. 376 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,940 The people need the Pickles. 377 00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:45,230 The puppets need to find Mr. Pickles, 378 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:48,020 or the ice narrative has no ending. 379 00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,100 - Listen to reason. - [PARAKEET SQUAWKS] 380 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,320 You're beautiful just the way you are. 381 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,660 Shut up! 382 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,650 Sorry. That's our new parakeet, 383 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:58,320 Sarakeet. Uh, she talks too much, 384 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,320 - uh, kind of like me. - [SARAKEET SQUAWKS] 385 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,080 I don't think I've ever seen you talk. 386 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,740 Uh, well, 387 00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:05,980 I only try to talk during meals 388 00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,870 because it-it keeps me from eating. 389 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,500 It's a diet I made up. 390 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,980 [SARAKEET] Shut up, skinny bitch. 391 00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,690 [SQUAWKS] 392 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:14,650 [DRAMATIC DRUM MUSIC] 393 00:16:14,730 --> 00:16:17,070 I tell you what, Tara's sister. 394 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,610 "Sah-ra." 395 00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:20,520 Actually, Sarah. 396 00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:22,650 I go by Sarah now. 397 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,620 I don't care what it rhymes with. 398 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:29,610 ♪ ♪ 399 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,680 How would you like your turn in the limelight... 400 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,240 Sarah? 401 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,400 [JAUNTY PIANO MUSIC] 402 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,570 [ANNOUNCER] It's that time, pickle pals. 403 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,090 Astronotter, Ennui Le Triste, The Oops, 404 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,040 and all their friends invite you to take 405 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,310 the hand of the loved one sitting next to you 406 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,650 and brace yourselves for a trip down 407 00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:53,060 Pickle Barrel Falls. 408 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,560 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 409 00:16:55,580 --> 00:17:00,400 ♪ ♪ 410 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,150 [LAUGHTER] 411 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,730 Disaster! Monsieur Pickles has gone missing! 412 00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:08,020 [THE OOPS] Without him, we cannot survive. 413 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,060 - [ASTRONOTTER GIBBERS] - [ENNUI LE TRISTE] Maybe, 414 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,060 with the help of Tara Lipinski, 415 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,690 we can locate him. 416 00:17:13,770 --> 00:17:15,860 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 417 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:17,840 Did you and Grandma ever fight? 418 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,780 Oh, all the time. 419 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,730 She cheated on me. Then I cheated on her. 420 00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:26,820 Then we got a divorce. 421 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,650 She took the cat. Hmm. 422 00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:31,800 She got in a car to go visit her sister 423 00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:33,480 for a few weeks. 424 00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,240 Nine days later, the cat came back, 425 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,650 but we never saw Grandma again. 426 00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:39,300 Anyway, don't worry. 427 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,860 My wife had severe mental issues, 428 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,200 not like your mother. 429 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,080 - [PICKLES-SAN] No, no, no! - [DEIRDRE] Yes! Yes! 430 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,520 [PICKLES-SAN] No, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop! 431 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,746 - [DEIRDRE] Yes! Yes! Yes! - [PICKLES-SAN] Stop, stop! 432 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:52,690 [DEIRDRE] Yes, damn it! Yes! 433 00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:54,230 Are you okay? 434 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,400 I'm sorry. I thought we were both enjoying it. 435 00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,230 Did I break it? 436 00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,770 [MAN] Here you are. 437 00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:46,320 Mr. Pickles, please, enjoy. 438 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,900 - Thank you so much. - Thanks. 439 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,110 We will. 440 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,650 Have we eaten here before? 441 00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,400 I don't think so. 442 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,400 [EERIE RINGING MUSIC] 443 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,080 ♪ ♪ 444 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,920 [WILL] Am I in trouble? 445 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,220 [JILL] We're not angry. 446 00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:19,250 ♪ ♪ 447 00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,420 [WILL] Why not? 448 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,800 We just like pancakes more 449 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,820 than we could ever be angry at you. 450 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,890 When will your divorce be official? 451 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:28,660 Sometime down the road. 452 00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:30,360 Is it a long road? 453 00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:31,900 I don't know. 454 00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:38,730 Do you want to see a magic trick? 455 00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:40,900 - Yes. - Oh, you bet. 456 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:45,770 First, I need to pee. 457 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,170 Oh, yeah, keep us 458 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,490 on the edge of our seat much? 459 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,680 [LAUGHS] 460 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,390 If we eat real quick, 461 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,440 we can catch the end of Pickles on Ice. 462 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,980 Yeah? 463 00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,320 It's a super show, 464 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,440 now that I made some changes and stuff. 465 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,360 [SIGHS] 466 00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:06,980 I'm thinking of asking Peter to move in. 467 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:08,900 What? 468 00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:12,240 They say time and space are both immutable, 469 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,680 governed by laws that cannot be broken. 470 00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:16,820 All I have to say to that is... 471 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:18,180 How are you doing that? 472 00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,070 ... laws were meant to be broken. 473 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,860 Seriously, how are you doing that? 474 00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:25,520 [DARK MUSIC] 475 00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:27,280 Doing what? 476 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,230 That! 477 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,420 A magician never reveals his secrets. 478 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,620 And that's why they call me... 479 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,270 ♪ ♪ 480 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,730 ... the amazing Pickle-ini! 481 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:42,690 ♪ ♪ 482 00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:46,820 [PHIL] You're hurting my arm! 483 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:48,920 [JEFF] That boy has every reason to ask 484 00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:50,260 for everything and doesn't. 485 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:52,270 You have no reason to ask for anything, 486 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,700 and you can't keep your mouth shut. 487 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,110 Learn how to keep your mouth shut. 488 00:20:55,190 --> 00:20:56,520 You hear me? 489 00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,230 Stop! 490 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:01,900 Are you okay? 491 00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:05,110 - Yeah. - Okay. 492 00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:06,220 I'm fine. 493 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:07,770 Okay. 494 00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:10,820 Good trick, Will. 495 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:13,820 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 496 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:16,770 [WARM PIANO MUSIC] 497 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,460 ♪ ♪ 498 00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:21,730 [ASTRONOTTER PURRS] 499 00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:25,180 ♪ ♪ 500 00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:26,900 Quel fromage. 501 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:29,690 We will never find Monsieur Pickles, Tara. 502 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,020 Don't worry, Ennui. 503 00:21:31,110 --> 00:21:32,940 Mr. Pickles made a promise, 504 00:21:33,020 --> 00:21:35,270 and when Mr. Pickles makes a promise, 505 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,480 Mr. Pickles keeps his promise. 506 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,020 Go, Tara, go! 507 00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:41,190 Tara, I love you! 508 00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:43,900 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 509 00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:49,150 ♪ ♪ 510 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,190 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 511 00:21:54,270 --> 00:21:56,770 ♪ ♪ 512 00:21:56,860 --> 00:21:57,860 Regardez! 513 00:21:57,940 --> 00:21:59,820 It is Monsieur Pickles! 514 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,860 We are saved! 515 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:04,820 [SARA] That's right, it's me, Mr. Pickles! 516 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:08,020 Hi! Hey! 517 00:22:08,110 --> 00:22:10,980 [HIGH-PITCHED RINGING, HEARTBEAT THUMPING] 518 00:22:13,220 --> 00:22:16,650 ♪ ♪ 519 00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:18,230 I'm sorry, but the show 520 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,590 just didn't make sense without you. 521 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,190 ♪ ♪ 522 00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:25,020 You promised. 523 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:28,570 ♪ ♪ 524 00:22:28,650 --> 00:22:30,480 You promised! 525 00:22:30,570 --> 00:22:35,440 ♪ ♪ 526 00:22:58,650 --> 00:23:01,400 [NEGATIVE BEEPS ON CELL PHONE] 527 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,500 - ♪ ♪ - _ 528 00:23:04,980 --> 00:23:06,820 Gosh darn it. 529 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:10,610 ♪ ♪ 530 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:13,570 [VIDEO GAME MUSIC] 531 00:23:13,650 --> 00:23:18,570 ♪ ♪ 532 00:23:22,140 --> 00:23:24,860 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 533 00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:30,020 ♪ ♪ 534 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,400 [VIDEO GAME MUSIC] 535 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,420 ♪ ♪ 536 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,020 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 537 00:23:39,110 --> 00:23:40,950 Okay, Sarah, you can do this. 538 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,460 I believe in you. 539 00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:45,980 ♪ ♪ 540 00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:48,730 [VIDEO GAME MUSIC] 541 00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:51,020 ♪ ♪ 542 00:23:51,220 --> 00:23:53,190 Pshoo! 543 00:23:53,270 --> 00:23:54,380 [GASPS] 544 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,500 [CROWD SCREAMING] 545 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:56,820 [UPBEAT MUSIC STOPS] 546 00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:57,900 No! 547 00:23:57,940 --> 00:23:59,610 [ALL SCREAMING] 548 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:02,020 - Awesome! - [MAN] Tara! 549 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,610 It was an accident! 550 00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:07,390 It was an accident! 551 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,500 [SARA SCREAMS] 552 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,820 It's all my fault. 553 00:24:09,850 --> 00:24:12,650 I looked away! 554 00:24:12,730 --> 00:24:14,980 There's something wrong, Brian. 555 00:24:15,070 --> 00:24:17,940 [DISQUIETING SYNTH MUSIC] 556 00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:22,730 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 557 00:24:22,820 --> 00:24:25,440 [EIGHT-BIT VERSION OF MUSIC FROM ICE SHOW] 558 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:31,040 ♪ ♪ 36744

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.