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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,033
Edited at https://subtitletools.com
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00:00:01,456 --> 00:00:03,456
Go ahead, order anything you want.
It's on the house!
3
00:00:03,457 --> 00:00:05,103
Because you are the house.
4
00:00:05,103 --> 00:00:06,303
That's right, I'm the house, baby.
5
00:00:07,933 --> 00:00:09,100
Look at us.
6
00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:10,501
Yeah, it's been two months,
7
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:11,132
and you still get a kick out of me.
8
00:00:11,132 --> 00:00:12,966
We'll see how I'm feeling at three.
9
00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:16,691
Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: May 17, 2016
10
00:00:20,674 --> 00:00:21,641
Yes, son?
11
00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:22,909
- Ooh, nice jacket.
- Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:22,977 --> 00:00:24,644
Dressin' for successin'.
13
00:00:24,712 --> 00:00:26,713
Rhymin' like a...
14
00:00:27,748 --> 00:00:29,449
I don't have it.
15
00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:31,284
Anyway, we need to talk
about birthday party.
16
00:00:31,352 --> 00:00:32,819
Oh, Gerald.
17
00:00:32,887 --> 00:00:34,621
I had no idea.
18
00:00:34,688 --> 00:00:36,656
How old are you turning?
Wait, no, no, no, no.
19
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:37,791
Don't tell me. I'm great at this.
20
00:00:37,858 --> 00:00:38,792
Uh...
21
00:00:41,262 --> 00:00:42,495
Ooh.
22
00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:43,830
Taking a while.
23
00:00:43,898 --> 00:00:45,665
Forget it. You know what?
24
00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:48,101
Your unusual man-boy quality
is making it impossible.
25
00:00:48,169 --> 00:00:49,335
I know, right? Look it.
26
00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:50,437
He-he's got a baby face,
27
00:00:50,504 --> 00:00:52,105
- yet a 5:00 shadow.
- Mm-hmm.
28
00:00:52,173 --> 00:00:53,840
That's it. Man, boy, man, boy, man...
29
00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,708
Oh! Yeah, this is fun.
30
00:00:55,776 --> 00:00:57,644
Yeah, but it's actually
not my birthday.
31
00:00:57,711 --> 00:00:58,845
It's my dad's.
32
00:00:58,913 --> 00:01:00,113
On Saturday, he's turning...
33
00:01:00,181 --> 00:01:01,214
- 50, 50.
34
00:01:01,282 --> 00:01:02,882
Guilty. Big five-O.
35
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:05,118
- It's a big one.
- Wait, it is your 50th birthday?
36
00:01:05,186 --> 00:01:06,553
- Mm-hmm
- Why didn't you tell...?
37
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:08,221
- Oh, wait, sorry.
38
00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:09,889
Hello?
39
00:01:09,957 --> 00:01:12,325
Oh, wait, it's the woman
Olivia Pope is based off of.
40
00:01:12,393 --> 00:01:14,794
Excuse me, I have to take it.
41
00:01:14,862 --> 00:01:16,396
Hi, Judy. How can I help?
42
00:01:16,464 --> 00:01:17,730
I'm confused.
43
00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:19,132
Oh, that's Kerry Washington's
44
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,834
character on Scandal.
45
00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,035
Yeah, thank you. Uh, no.
46
00:01:22,103 --> 00:01:23,636
Aren't you turning 51?
47
00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:25,138
You know who's 50? Robert Downey Jr.
48
00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:26,739
And he pulls the "Jr." off
like it's nothing.
49
00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:27,740
You know who's 51?
50
00:01:27,808 --> 00:01:29,142
The guy who voices Gollum,
51
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,977
Wanda Sykes,
52
00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,345
Bernie Sanders.
53
00:01:32,413 --> 00:01:33,680
I'm just getting used to being 50.
54
00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:34,848
I'm not ready to be fifty...
55
00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:35,815
- Babe?
- What, babe?
56
00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:37,383
I am throwing you
57
00:01:37,451 --> 00:01:39,486
a 50th birthday party
to end all parties.
58
00:01:39,553 --> 00:01:40,820
- No.
- It is not up for discussion.
59
00:01:40,888 --> 00:01:42,388
I'll come back to plan,
60
00:01:42,456 --> 00:01:44,257
but first I got to go
meet Jada for sushi.
61
00:01:44,325 --> 00:01:45,725
Okay. Mm!
62
00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:47,827
- Bye, Gerald.
- Bye, Catherine.
63
00:01:47,895 --> 00:01:50,063
Jada Pinkett Smith.
64
00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:51,957
Do all fancy black
women know each other?
65
00:01:51,982 --> 00:01:52,589
Pretty much.
66
00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:54,234
You two are right on the
line right about now.
67
00:01:54,301 --> 00:01:55,702
How long have you been sitting there?
68
00:01:55,769 --> 00:01:57,003
Long enough to hear you're having
69
00:01:57,071 --> 00:01:58,705
a 50th birthday party,
which confused me,
70
00:01:58,772 --> 00:02:00,406
because didn't we do that a year ago?
71
00:02:00,474 --> 00:02:01,875
But you didn't know me back then,
72
00:02:01,942 --> 00:02:03,176
so now I get to go.
73
00:02:03,244 --> 00:02:05,044
Yeah. At least this time, we can
74
00:02:05,112 --> 00:02:06,746
do it without that hairy
donut on your face.
75
00:02:06,814 --> 00:02:08,281
Oh, come on, that goatee
looked good and you know it.
76
00:02:08,349 --> 00:02:09,382
Yeah, it did.
77
00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:10,817
You totally pulled it off.
78
00:02:16,824 --> 00:02:19,459
Play "Happy Birthday."
79
00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:21,861
Morning, sexy.
80
00:02:21,929 --> 00:02:23,363
Hi.
81
00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:24,898
Is today your birthday?
82
00:02:24,965 --> 00:02:25,965
It is.
83
00:02:26,033 --> 00:02:27,267
♪ Happy birthday
84
00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:28,568
♪ To you
85
00:02:28,636 --> 00:02:32,205
♪ Happy birthday, dear Steven
86
00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:33,973
♪ It's Jimmy
87
00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:36,309
Really? Oh, I could've sworn...
88
00:02:36,377 --> 00:02:37,710
Yeah, it's okay, Katie, sometimes...
89
00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:38,845
Rachel.
90
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:40,980
Right.
91
00:02:41,048 --> 00:02:42,215
Yes.
92
00:02:44,852 --> 00:02:46,819
Names.
93
00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:51,391
♪
94
00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:53,493
Thanks for coming down.
95
00:02:53,561 --> 00:02:54,961
I'm always here.
96
00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:56,229
My boyfriend's out of town
97
00:02:56,297 --> 00:02:57,931
- playing a gig this weekend.
- Oh.
98
00:02:57,998 --> 00:03:00,300
Oh, a "gig" is another
word for a concert.
99
00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,902
And I know that because my
boyfriend is in the biz.
100
00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,104
The "biz" meaning the music bus...
101
00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:06,639
We get it... your
boyfriend's a musician.
102
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,841
Okay, so this is what I'm thinking.
103
00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:11,811
I'm thinking we have a big
blowout here at the restaurant.
104
00:03:11,879 --> 00:03:14,180
Shotgun, dessert! I call
dessert. Dibs! No backsies!
105
00:03:14,248 --> 00:03:16,316
Ah, ah, I got dessert.
106
00:03:16,383 --> 00:03:18,851
Sorry, I thought dessert
was gonna go quick.
107
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,420
No, no, this is exciting.
It's exciting.
108
00:03:20,487 --> 00:03:22,121
So let's plan the party for maybe...
109
00:03:22,189 --> 00:03:23,823
JIMMY: Hey, hey, hey.
110
00:03:23,891 --> 00:03:25,625
What are you three doing
hanging around here for...?
111
00:03:25,693 --> 00:03:27,193
Are you guys planning a party for me?
112
00:03:27,261 --> 00:03:28,695
If so, don't, 'cause
last year was a hot mess.
113
00:03:28,762 --> 00:03:29,996
Now, if you want to celebrate me...
114
00:03:30,064 --> 00:03:31,664
and I understand the draw...
115
00:03:31,732 --> 00:03:33,833
then a nice family dinner
would hit the spot.
116
00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:34,450
Shotgun, dessert!
117
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,959
You're doing dessert.
No one else wants it.
118
00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:37,837
- Okay.
- CATHERINE: Okay, family dinner.
119
00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:39,672
Well, I know Florida's not right
around the corner,
120
00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,975
but what do you think... maybe
we should invite your dad?
121
00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:43,343
Oh...
122
00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:45,144
That's not necessary.
He's a busy man.
123
00:03:45,212 --> 00:03:47,046
I-I'd never ask him to
come all the way out here
124
00:03:47,114 --> 00:03:49,682
for a silly birthday party.
125
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:51,351
Great news, I convinced my dad
126
00:03:51,418 --> 00:03:53,011
to fly out for my big birthday party.
127
00:03:53,036 --> 00:03:53,810
You have a dad?
128
00:03:53,854 --> 00:03:56,456
I always just imagined he
hatched from a leather egg.
129
00:03:56,523 --> 00:03:58,725
Aw, man, we wore the
same beard to work.
130
00:04:00,027 --> 00:04:01,461
Ooh!
131
00:04:01,528 --> 00:04:03,329
What is going on with that thing?
132
00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:06,165
I feel like there's less there
than there was yesterday.
133
00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:08,835
Can't believe it... my dad's gonna
finally see my restaurant.
134
00:04:08,902 --> 00:04:10,737
You guys are gonna love Jack Martino.
135
00:04:10,804 --> 00:04:12,538
I mean, if I was ever gonna be a dad,
136
00:04:12,606 --> 00:04:14,140
I'd want to be a dad just like him.
137
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:15,842
But it's totally hypothetical,
138
00:04:15,909 --> 00:04:17,143
'cause I'm never gonna
have a son, right?
139
00:04:18,646 --> 00:04:20,913
Okay, once we send in our application,
140
00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:22,682
if it's approved, CoParentPro will be
141
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,150
available on the App Store.
142
00:04:24,218 --> 00:04:25,985
Ah, we're gonna be like Shazam!
143
00:04:26,053 --> 00:04:27,504
Yeah, if God is good,
we'll be like Shazam.
144
00:04:27,529 --> 00:04:28,012
Yeah.
145
00:04:28,055 --> 00:04:30,490
All right, all I got to do is hit send.
146
00:04:30,557 --> 00:04:32,091
I can't do it.
147
00:04:32,159 --> 00:04:33,226
You do it. Do it?
148
00:04:33,294 --> 00:04:34,360
- Nah, I can't do it.
- Do it.
149
00:04:34,428 --> 00:04:35,762
- Just do it.
- I have bad juju.
150
00:04:35,829 --> 00:04:37,830
Edie, you do it.
151
00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:38,865
Press send.
152
00:04:38,932 --> 00:04:40,066
Ooh, let's do this.
153
00:04:40,134 --> 00:04:42,001
- Ah, go for it.
- Ah, okay.
154
00:04:42,069 --> 00:04:44,003
- Send.
155
00:04:44,071 --> 00:04:46,005
- Ah, yes!
- Ah, yay!
156
00:04:47,941 --> 00:04:50,109
- Good job, bobo.
- Oh, man.
157
00:04:50,177 --> 00:04:53,179
Who would've ever thought the
three of us would end up here?
158
00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:58,117
Listen, I'm really not
supposed to tell you this,
159
00:04:58,185 --> 00:04:59,252
but you can buy this exact
phone on the Internet
160
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,853
for, like, 50 bucks less.
161
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,121
Comes with a free case, so
162
00:05:02,189 --> 00:05:03,289
I mean, do you what you want,
163
00:05:03,357 --> 00:05:05,124
but don't be an idiot.
164
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,895
♪
165
00:05:15,803 --> 00:05:18,538
My baby mama, Vanessa.
166
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:20,973
We were on the same cell phone
167
00:05:21,041 --> 00:05:22,141
sales force for over a year.
168
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,610
And then one fateful night,
169
00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:27,046
I caught her at her
absolute lowest point.
170
00:05:27,114 --> 00:05:28,281
Yeah.
171
00:05:28,349 --> 00:05:29,949
Four hard lemonades
172
00:05:30,017 --> 00:05:31,584
and one defective organic condom later,
173
00:05:31,652 --> 00:05:32,952
and booyah!
174
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,054
I'm a 24-year-old cell phone salesman
175
00:05:35,122 --> 00:05:37,123
with a half-Cuban baby that
looks nothing like me.
176
00:05:37,191 --> 00:05:39,592
It's a tale as old as time.
177
00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:41,127
I mean, she says we're just friends
178
00:05:41,195 --> 00:05:42,929
raising a kid together, but I think
179
00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:44,564
we both know what that means, don't we?
180
00:05:44,631 --> 00:05:46,132
I'll just go to the mall.
181
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,034
All right.
182
00:05:50,838 --> 00:05:53,139
Hey.
183
00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:54,307
Hey, what's up?
184
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:56,309
- Are you hungry?
- Ah, nah.
185
00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:58,144
I just had a huge sandwich for lunch.
186
00:05:58,212 --> 00:06:00,012
It was like the size of my
arm... you should've seen it!
187
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,248
Oh, I would've loved to
have seen that sandwich.
188
00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:04,984
You maybe want to eat
dinner with me tonight?
189
00:06:05,052 --> 00:06:06,853
Sure. Will your mom watch Edie?
190
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,254
Yeah, yeah, she's just gonna stay in
191
00:06:08,322 --> 00:06:09,856
and hang out with her friends.
192
00:06:09,923 --> 00:06:11,124
Oh, you mean those weird
193
00:06:11,191 --> 00:06:12,291
divorced ladies she's always with?
194
00:06:12,359 --> 00:06:13,960
Yeah.
195
00:06:14,027 --> 00:06:15,294
They're the worst.
196
00:06:15,362 --> 00:06:16,462
Yeah.
197
00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,097
And then she said she'd come.
198
00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:19,966
I knew it! I knew it!
199
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,200
Thank you, guys.
200
00:06:21,268 --> 00:06:22,935
Man, see, this is why
you're my best friends.
201
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:25,438
Oh, sweetie, this is so great.
202
00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:28,708
Not that you just called
Anna, Deb and Marsha
203
00:06:28,776 --> 00:06:30,009
your best friends, but the part
204
00:06:30,077 --> 00:06:31,444
- about Vanessa!
- Thanks.
205
00:06:31,512 --> 00:06:33,346
So, any tips for tonight or...?
206
00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:35,281
Wear the olive-green
turtleneck I knit you.
207
00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:37,984
Let your neck be a sexy
surprise for later.
208
00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:39,719
Yes, you will look like Javier Bardem
209
00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:41,154
- in that turtleneck!
- Yeah, really?
210
00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:42,855
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
You should grow bangs.
211
00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,223
You know, sometimes I wonder like,
212
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:46,125
maybe I should have
some friends my own age
213
00:06:46,193 --> 00:06:48,027
and gender giving me dating advice,
214
00:06:48,095 --> 00:06:50,663
or like a real male influence.
215
00:06:52,065 --> 00:06:53,866
Then you guys hit me with that
216
00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:55,535
Bardem turtleneck rec
217
00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:57,804
and I realized I'm right
where I'm supposed to be.
218
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,240
Thanks, guys.
219
00:07:01,308 --> 00:07:02,675
It takes a village, ladies. Mm-hmm.
220
00:07:02,743 --> 00:07:04,911
Takes a village.
221
00:07:04,935 --> 00:07:10,007
Annelise. Does this table look ok?
222
00:07:10,594 --> 00:07:12,762
I mean, are the forks crooked?
223
00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:14,197
I just...
224
00:07:14,264 --> 00:07:16,165
And would you describe these
candles as moss green?
225
00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:17,934
Because his eyes are moss
green, and obviously...
226
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:20,703
Catherine, I saw you give a
TED Talk to 5,000 people.
227
00:07:20,771 --> 00:07:22,505
This candle business is beneath you.
228
00:07:22,573 --> 00:07:26,075
I know, I just... I really
want tonight to be perfect.
229
00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:28,778
Can I tell you something stupid?
230
00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:32,582
If you must, but, to be
honest, my days are filled
231
00:07:32,649 --> 00:07:34,117
with hearing stupid things,
232
00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:35,918
and I was hoping a woman
of your stature would...
233
00:07:35,986 --> 00:07:37,587
I am so into Jimmy.
234
00:07:37,654 --> 00:07:39,389
Ah, damn it. No, check that.
235
00:07:39,456 --> 00:07:40,690
I am more than into him.
236
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:43,426
I... am falling in...
237
00:07:43,494 --> 00:07:45,728
Whoa, whoa, whoa, before you
complete that sentence,
238
00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:47,243
you might want to pump
the brakes a few times.
239
00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:50,278
I don't. When it comes to men,
I always pump the brakes.
240
00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:52,847
That's what I do: I run
a Fortune 500 company,
241
00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:56,017
I buy yachts, and I pump,
pump, pump those damn brakes.
242
00:07:56,085 --> 00:07:58,419
"Yachts" with an S?
Like, multiple yachts?
243
00:07:58,487 --> 00:08:00,588
Tonight, I am gonna gather
up some liquid courage,
244
00:08:00,656 --> 00:08:02,490
make a toast,
245
00:08:02,558 --> 00:08:04,425
and tell him that I love him.
246
00:08:04,493 --> 00:08:07,195
I cannot believe I bought your book.
247
00:08:07,263 --> 00:08:09,998
Look, no-no matter what happens,
I can promise you one thing:
248
00:08:10,065 --> 00:08:12,167
this party will be better
than last year's.
249
00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:15,103
♪ Bang bang into the room
250
00:08:15,171 --> 00:08:16,371
♪ I know you want it
251
00:08:16,438 --> 00:08:18,606
♪ Bang bang all over you
252
00:08:18,674 --> 00:08:20,108
♪ I'll let you have it
253
00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:21,109
♪ Wait a minute
254
00:08:21,177 --> 00:08:23,611
♪ Let me take you there...
255
00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:26,114
The problem
with sitcoms nowadays
256
00:08:26,182 --> 00:08:28,950
is that the dads are so ugly.
257
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,518
Who wants a kiss?
258
00:08:30,586 --> 00:08:32,520
Now this, this is a party.
259
00:08:32,588 --> 00:08:36,057
You got balloons, you got a
vodka luge, Alan Thicke...
260
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,091
How'd Alan Thicke get in?
261
00:08:39,128 --> 00:08:40,295
Dad, you made it!
262
00:08:40,362 --> 00:08:42,030
♪ ...hold her hand in school
263
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:45,533
♪ But I'm-a show you
how to graduate... ♪
264
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,735
- What do you think?
- This the restaurant?
265
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,070
Yeah, it's my baby.
266
00:08:49,138 --> 00:08:51,072
A few windows might be nice.
267
00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:53,408
But I guess the kids all
like it dim nowadays.
268
00:08:53,475 --> 00:08:55,176
- Yeah.
- Who are all these people?
269
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,345
Oh, just 75 of my closest friends.
270
00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:58,847
All these 20-year-old girls,
271
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,648
these... these are
your closest friends?
272
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:01,649
Yeah, what do you think?
273
00:09:01,717 --> 00:09:03,151
Oh, here. Here, try this.
274
00:09:03,219 --> 00:09:05,386
Meatball marinara, like we like.
275
00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:07,222
- Mmm, yeah.
- How is it?
276
00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:09,190
Yech.
277
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,426
You didn't get your mother's sauce,
278
00:09:11,493 --> 00:09:13,228
- but you got her legs.
- Uh, you're right.
279
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:15,230
There's something
wrong with this sauce!
280
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,098
And he-he's right, there's not
enough light in this place!
281
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,167
Turn some lights on!
The place looks horrible.
282
00:09:21,303 --> 00:09:22,770
The place looks beautiful.
283
00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:24,772
Are those candles
the exact color of my eyes?
284
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,274
I don't know, are they?
285
00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:31,279
Oh, hey, guys, I'm gonna
join you in just a second.
286
00:09:31,347 --> 00:09:33,114
I got to keep working
on those crème brûlées.
287
00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:35,116
Kook.
288
00:09:35,184 --> 00:09:38,386
Okay, um, everyone,
I'd like to say a few words.
289
00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:39,687
GERALD: Holy crap.
290
00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:41,089
Our app just got approved.
291
00:09:41,156 --> 00:09:42,590
CoParentPro is now in the App Store,
292
00:09:42,658 --> 00:09:44,559
and 15 people have
already downloaded it.
293
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,560
JIMMY: Wow!
294
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,762
Yay! Congratulations!
295
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,564
I'll tell him later.
296
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,865
- Mmm.
- Yeah.
297
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,567
JIMMY:
Hey, hey, hey, you horndogs.
298
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,569
Class it up a little bit,
act like you've been
299
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,570
in a nice restaurant before.
300
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,572
And that is why
301
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,375
you never go ice-staking
after eating Chinese.
302
00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:02,377
- Yeah.
- You okay, G?
303
00:10:02,444 --> 00:10:04,379
- You're sweating.
- No, I'm fine.
304
00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:06,381
Yeah, it's just sort of, like,
an unexpectedly long way to walk
305
00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,882
in a wool turtleneck.
306
00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:11,152
Ooh, breadsticks.
307
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,654
Yeah.
308
00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:14,222
One for the road.
309
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,624
- Vanessa?
- Tad?
310
00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:18,393
TAD: I thought I
was never gonna see you again
311
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:19,994
after that night at the foam party.
312
00:10:20,062 --> 00:10:21,162
Oh, my God.
313
00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:22,430
You remember all the foam?
314
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:23,431
TAD: It was so wet.
315
00:10:25,134 --> 00:10:26,734
- It was great. It was...
- You okay, G?
316
00:10:26,802 --> 00:10:28,303
- I'm fine.
- You need help?
317
00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:29,504
- No, okay.
- Okay, here.
318
00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:31,039
It's so hot! Oh, God!
319
00:10:34,977 --> 00:10:36,010
- What's up, dude? Gerald.
- Hey.
320
00:10:36,078 --> 00:10:37,278
- How you doing? Yeah.
- Pleasure.
321
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,479
- Pleasure to meet you, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
322
00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:40,148
- Cool. Oh.
323
00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:41,516
Uh...
324
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,084
It's, uh, the cell phone store.
Excuse me.
325
00:10:43,152 --> 00:10:44,319
VANESSA: Cool.
326
00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:46,321
Hey, Derrick.
327
00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:49,357
Yeah, well, I-I told
him to buy it online,
328
00:10:49,425 --> 00:10:50,658
but I didn't say...
329
00:10:50,726 --> 00:10:52,560
Come on, man, you can't just fire me...
330
00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:55,830
Yeah.
331
00:10:55,898 --> 00:10:57,832
Yes, I'll turn in my shirt tomorrow.
332
00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,801
Yes, I will wash it first.
333
00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:05,139
♪
334
00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:14,549
This, this is where the magic happens.
335
00:11:14,616 --> 00:11:16,784
So this is the room where
they make the crap sauce, huh?
336
00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:19,220
He looks just like Jimmy
337
00:11:19,288 --> 00:11:20,955
if you left him out in the
sun for a couple of years.
338
00:11:21,023 --> 00:11:23,358
Hey, I'm Ravi, Jimmy's head chef.
339
00:11:23,425 --> 00:11:24,959
We've heard so much about you.
340
00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:27,795
You talk about your family
to your staff? Good God.
341
00:11:27,863 --> 00:11:30,398
I bet they have a good time
pretending to care about that.
342
00:11:30,466 --> 00:11:32,967
What do you
do for a living, Jack?
343
00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:34,736
You a, uh, insult comic?
344
00:11:34,803 --> 00:11:36,170
I own a lawn mower company.
345
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:38,406
Oh, that's a...
346
00:11:38,474 --> 00:11:40,808
I used to have a lawn mower.
347
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:41,809
Dad, Annelise used to
have a lawn mower.
348
00:11:41,877 --> 00:11:42,877
JACK: I met my wife
349
00:11:42,945 --> 00:11:44,879
selling her a lawn mower.
350
00:11:44,947 --> 00:11:46,814
Linda, may she rest in peace.
351
00:11:46,882 --> 00:11:50,084
Jimmy's mother and I
were married 50 years.
352
00:11:50,152 --> 00:11:51,552
What do you think, Jimmy?
353
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,354
You think you could hunker
down for five decades
354
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,323
with one of those playmates out there?
355
00:11:55,391 --> 00:11:56,891
You had a pretty strong connection
356
00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:58,893
with Miss October, right, Ji...?
357
00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:02,530
I'm gonna have another Scotch.
358
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:04,766
Bye.
359
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,567
He's just busting balls.
He's from another time.
360
00:12:06,635 --> 00:12:09,470
That's... that's how they
expressed love back then.
361
00:12:11,807 --> 00:12:15,343
Now I kind of wish Jimmy was
born from a leather egg.
362
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,619
♪
363
00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:43,271
Oh, quick, sit.
364
00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:45,306
I-I'm watching the movie My Life
365
00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:46,507
with a pre Birdman Michael Keaton,
366
00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:48,776
and I'm gonna see if I can
cry so hard I get abs.
367
00:12:48,844 --> 00:12:50,578
Mom, I want to meet my dad.
368
00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:58,915
It's time Mom, I need to meet him.
369
00:13:00,509 --> 00:13:03,495
Gerald, uh, I've always
said if you ever decided
370
00:13:03,495 --> 00:13:05,563
you wanted to meet your
father, I would support you.
371
00:13:05,631 --> 00:13:07,432
I know, and I really appreciate...
372
00:13:07,499 --> 00:13:09,167
- I lied.
- Oh.
373
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,169
I am extremely against it.
374
00:13:11,236 --> 00:13:14,305
Jimmy Martino is a
vapid shell of a man.
375
00:13:14,373 --> 00:13:16,007
Don't get me wrong,
it's a stunning shell.
376
00:13:16,075 --> 00:13:17,642
Yeah, God. Good for you, Mom.
377
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,444
Thanks, I know.
378
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:22,447
But, Gerald, beneath that
shell, there's nothing there...
379
00:13:22,514 --> 00:13:25,783
just an abyss of emptiness
and self-obsession...
380
00:13:25,851 --> 00:13:27,585
and I just don't want
to see you get hurt.
381
00:13:27,653 --> 00:13:29,053
Trust me on this.
382
00:13:33,692 --> 00:13:37,428
I want to walk out dramatically
to punctuate this,
383
00:13:37,496 --> 00:13:39,430
but I also want to see
the end of the movie,
384
00:13:39,498 --> 00:13:41,766
so sit, sit, sit, sit. Yeah.
385
00:13:44,937 --> 00:13:46,104
You all right?
386
00:13:46,171 --> 00:13:47,505
You expecting a call?
387
00:13:47,573 --> 00:13:48,940
Nah, not really.
388
00:13:51,677 --> 00:13:53,611
Um...
389
00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:54,979
Excuse me, everybody.
390
00:13:55,047 --> 00:13:57,448
Let's try take two at this toast.
391
00:13:57,516 --> 00:14:00,017
Jimmy, um...
392
00:14:00,085 --> 00:14:01,552
I just wanted to tell you that...
393
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,554
VICTOR: Your brûlées are burning.
394
00:14:03,622 --> 00:14:05,356
What the...? No! I set an alarm!
395
00:14:05,424 --> 00:14:09,360
Oh, no, I DVR'd a PBS
documentary called Alarm.
396
00:14:09,428 --> 00:14:10,561
That looks good.
397
00:14:10,629 --> 00:14:11,896
- They're on fire.
- Ugh!
398
00:14:11,964 --> 00:14:13,030
SARA: Okay, uh, right, right.
399
00:14:13,098 --> 00:14:14,899
I... Wait for me to come back!
400
00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,401
I don't want to miss the speech!
401
00:14:19,521 --> 00:14:21,696
Sorry, I feel like you
keep getting interrupted.
402
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:23,408
- Also, can I borrow a million dollars?
403
00:14:23,475 --> 00:14:24,842
Another Old Fashioned, please?
404
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:25,843
SERVER: Sure.
405
00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:27,712
Hey, Dad, isn't that good?
406
00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:29,213
We make a mean Old Fashioned, huh?
407
00:14:29,281 --> 00:14:31,549
Yeah. I think I'm gonna take off.
408
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:32,650
What?! You just got here.
409
00:14:32,718 --> 00:14:33,818
The cake's gonna come
out in five minutes.
410
00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:35,653
Yeah, but I'm on Eastern time,
411
00:14:35,721 --> 00:14:38,556
and you have a lot of people
here to keep you company.
412
00:14:38,624 --> 00:14:39,657
Come to the hotel tomorrow.
413
00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:41,359
We'll have lunch, catch up.
414
00:14:46,498 --> 00:14:49,267
Is it that hard, Dad?
415
00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:50,768
What?
416
00:14:50,836 --> 00:14:52,770
I opened my restaurant.
417
00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:55,540
It's successful. I'm successful.
418
00:14:55,607 --> 00:14:57,708
Is it that hard to say
one nice thing to me?
419
00:14:57,776 --> 00:14:58,943
You're a grown man... am
I supposed to hit you
420
00:14:59,011 --> 00:14:59,944
with a bunch of compliments?
421
00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:01,646
No, but one would be nice.
422
00:15:04,249 --> 00:15:05,783
I don't know what to say.
423
00:15:06,985 --> 00:15:09,086
What am I supposed to be proud of?
424
00:15:09,154 --> 00:15:11,756
These celebrities, who hardly know you,
425
00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:13,691
they're here for the free crab cakes?
426
00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:15,760
Or all these women that you sleep with
427
00:15:15,828 --> 00:15:17,695
and never get to know their last names?
428
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,730
Is that what I'm
supposed to be proud of?
429
00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:22,133
And that you are a 50-year-old
man who has to throw
430
00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:26,137
his own birthday party
because no one else will?
431
00:15:26,205 --> 00:15:28,406
You know, I make excuses for you.
432
00:15:28,474 --> 00:15:30,741
Takes you two decades to come visit me,
433
00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,710
and you know what I say?
I say "he can't travel."
434
00:15:32,778 --> 00:15:33,978
Or "he's busy."
435
00:15:34,046 --> 00:15:35,480
And when you act like a dick,
436
00:15:35,547 --> 00:15:36,747
I say "it's 'cause he's old school."
437
00:15:36,815 --> 00:15:39,217
Yeah, an old-school dick.
438
00:15:40,619 --> 00:15:43,221
- Bye, Jimmy.
- Yeah. Good-bye.
439
00:15:43,288 --> 00:15:44,655
Hey, do me a favor.
440
00:15:44,723 --> 00:15:45,890
Don't come back for
another 20 years, huh?
441
00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:47,325
Done!
442
00:15:49,127 --> 00:15:51,262
Don't be sad.
443
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:55,333
The father-son dynamic is...
complicated.
444
00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:04,128
♪ Que cuando Como y donde
445
00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:06,697
♪ Tu siempre...
446
00:16:06,764 --> 00:16:07,965
Everything okay?
447
00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:10,701
Yeah.
448
00:16:10,768 --> 00:16:12,636
I've been waiting for my
dad to call all night.
449
00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:14,138
Mm.
450
00:16:14,205 --> 00:16:16,073
We had a big fight
at my birthday last year,
451
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,307
and we haven't spoken since.
452
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:18,642
Why didn't you tell me?
453
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:19,776
Vanity.
454
00:16:19,844 --> 00:16:21,278
I'm not well, Catherine.
455
00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:22,479
You should know that.
456
00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:25,449
Also, I'm 51 today.
457
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:26,750
- Not 50.
- What?!
458
00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:27,751
Mm-hmm.
459
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:30,120
Still get a kick out of me?
460
00:16:30,188 --> 00:16:31,255
Mm...
461
00:16:31,322 --> 00:16:32,656
Yeah, of course I do.
462
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:34,992
I really do, Jimmy.
463
00:16:35,059 --> 00:16:37,828
In fact, tonight, at this party...
464
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:41,064
I wanted to celebrate your
birthday, of course, but...
465
00:16:41,132 --> 00:16:43,300
I also really wanted to
tell you something...
466
00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:45,068
SARA: Damn it!
467
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:49,139
- What the hell's going on out here?
- SARA: Hey, guys...
468
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,409
So, these didn't turn out
exactly as I had hoped.
469
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,978
But I think if you scrape
off the burnt top layer
470
00:16:55,046 --> 00:16:57,281
and don't eat the
uncooked bottom layer,
471
00:16:57,348 --> 00:16:59,249
that the middle is... decent.
472
00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:00,784
It's okay.
473
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:02,819
We have plenty of desserts
in the fridge. Ravi...
474
00:17:02,887 --> 00:17:04,621
No! No, no, no! It's
not about the dessert,
475
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,190
it's about what the dessert represents.
476
00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:07,925
Beneath the caramel shell,
477
00:17:07,992 --> 00:17:09,593
there are lots and lots of layers.
478
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,094
It was supposed to be a metaphor.
479
00:17:11,162 --> 00:17:12,930
And an apology.
480
00:17:12,997 --> 00:17:14,631
For what?
481
00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:18,268
For telling Gerald not to find you.
482
00:17:19,504 --> 00:17:22,306
I told him that you were empty inside.
483
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,808
And that beneath your
shell, there was nothing.
484
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:26,276
But I was wrong.
485
00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,212
Beneath your shell, you are full of
486
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:31,348
a surprisingly rich, creamy,
487
00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:34,218
custard, and we're all
better for having eaten it.
488
00:17:34,285 --> 00:17:35,819
Oh! This is getting away from me.
489
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,690
What I'm trying to say is...
490
00:17:39,757 --> 00:17:41,358
I'm sorry.
491
00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:44,127
I'm sorry I kept the two
of you apart for so long.
492
00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:55,239
So... these crème brûlées... are me?
493
00:17:55,306 --> 00:17:57,007
They were supposed to be.
494
00:18:03,314 --> 00:18:04,348
Thank you.
495
00:18:11,122 --> 00:18:13,590
I'm gonna... pump the brakes.
496
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,993
I think this is gonna
taste really good,
497
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:19,563
you know, once, uh... once I cut...
498
00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:20,964
through.
499
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,202
Hey, some Russian model
is asking after you?
500
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,372
Nastasia or Nastaya or Nastenka?
501
00:18:28,439 --> 00:18:30,040
That doesn't really
help... I know a Nastasia,
502
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,275
a Nastaya and a Nastenka.
503
00:18:34,512 --> 00:18:36,413
I think my life is empty.
504
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:38,248
Think my dad's right.
505
00:18:38,316 --> 00:18:41,752
Jimmy... look, it doesn't
matter what your dad thinks.
506
00:18:41,819 --> 00:18:43,387
And it doesn't matter what I think.
507
00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:44,921
It only matters what you think.
508
00:18:44,989 --> 00:18:46,290
But why-why don't you just
tell me what you think,
509
00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:47,924
to guide what I should think.
510
00:18:47,992 --> 00:18:49,359
I think you should shave that goatee.
511
00:18:49,427 --> 00:18:50,694
Just because you can pull it off,
512
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:52,129
doesn't mean you should.
513
00:19:04,442 --> 00:19:06,977
♪ Should have known better
514
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,780
♪ To see what I could see
515
00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:12,316
♪ My black shroud
516
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:14,785
♪ Holding down my feelings
517
00:19:14,852 --> 00:19:17,120
♪ A pillar for my enemies
518
00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:19,156
♪
519
00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:25,128
♪ I should have wrote a letter ♪
520
00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:28,231
♪ And grieve what I happen to grieve ♪
521
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:30,600
♪ My black shroud
522
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:33,236
♪ I never trust my feelings
523
00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:35,539
♪ I waited for the remedy
524
00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:43,580
♪ When I was three
525
00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:46,416
♪ Three, maybe four
526
00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:49,319
♪ She left us at that video store ♪
527
00:19:49,387 --> 00:19:51,588
♪ Mm-hmm, oh... Jimmy, try this.
528
00:19:51,656 --> 00:19:54,691
Gluten-free pappardelle.
529
00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:57,527
Mmm. Ravi, delicious.
What's the secret?
530
00:19:57,595 --> 00:19:59,596
Gluten. Tons of gluten.
531
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:01,131
It's basically nothing but gluten.
532
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,933
- Hi.
- Hey. Kid, we're closed.
533
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,701
Uh, my name's Gerald.
534
00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:07,037
I have... something pretty
important to tell you.
535
00:20:11,609 --> 00:20:13,043
Hey, Dad...
536
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:14,978
uh, I got something pretty
important to tell you.
537
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:15,979
Oh, yeah? What?
538
00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:20,717
Wanted you to be the first to know
539
00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:22,185
that I'm gonna propose to Vanessa.
540
00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:23,954
- You are?
- I love her.
541
00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:26,289
And I know that it's fast and I...
542
00:20:26,357 --> 00:20:27,624
I know you think it's probably...
543
00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:28,792
It doesn't matter what I think.
544
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,160
It matters what you think.
545
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,462
Can you at least tell me what you think
546
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:34,264
to sort of guide me on what to think?
547
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,134
- I think it's incredible.
- Yeah?
548
00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,135
Congratulations.
549
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,138
- Oh! My dad!
- Oh! Good!
550
00:20:42,473 --> 00:20:43,440
Hey, Dad!
551
00:20:44,642 --> 00:20:46,042
Who's this?
552
00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:47,477
♪ Oh, be my rest
553
00:20:47,545 --> 00:20:49,179
- ♪ Be my fantasy...
- I see.
554
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:50,847
Yeah...
555
00:20:50,915 --> 00:20:52,349
I understand.
556
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,650
♪ Oh, be my rest, be my fantasy. ♪
557
00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:55,152
Y-Yeah, yeah.
558
00:20:58,556 --> 00:21:00,190
My dad died.
559
00:21:02,326 --> 00:21:03,326
What?
560
00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:05,395
Hey, guys, great news!
561
00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:07,063
If you chip off the ash,
562
00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:09,332
the crème brûlée's really not half bad.
563
00:21:11,335 --> 00:21:12,502
Geez, who died?
564
00:21:18,409 --> 00:21:24,825
Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: May 17, 2016
39563
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