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DRE: It's a fact. The Johnson
family loves Halloween.
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00:00:03,719 --> 00:00:05,367
We love the decorating...
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00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:07,204
the trick-or-treating.
4
00:00:07,306 --> 00:00:09,039
We love the mischief.
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00:00:09,108 --> 00:00:11,442
But what we love most is showing out
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00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:13,410
in our family costume.
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00:00:13,479 --> 00:00:17,581
Now, choosing the perfect
costume isn't always easy.
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00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:20,651
Sometimes we're cartoon superheroes.
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00:00:20,753 --> 00:00:23,821
Sometimes we're real heroes.
10
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,657
But this year, we get to be both.
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00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:30,160
Because of "Black Panther,"
we not only own the box office,
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00:00:30,229 --> 00:00:31,762
we own Halloween.
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00:00:31,864 --> 00:00:33,197
ALL: Wakanda forever!
14
00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:34,198
Mm!
15
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:35,766
All right. Halloween dress rehearsal.
16
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:38,302
You two need to put on these.
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00:00:38,404 --> 00:00:40,104
Yeah.
18
00:00:40,172 --> 00:00:42,406
We're not dressing up this year.
19
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:44,608
But we got Black Panther.
20
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,645
And it took me two hours
to do all of this.
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00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:50,481
And it took me two days
to do all of this.
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00:00:52,456 --> 00:00:55,456
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:55,526 --> 00:01:00,257
♪
24
00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,494
But why are you guys not dressing up?
25
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:05,262
- No one is.
- What?
26
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,531
No one in our school's
even doing Halloween.
27
00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,667
The only thing going on
is Cameron Carter's party,
28
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,169
and fingers crossed we get invited.
29
00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:13,837
Well, of course you guys
are gonna get invited.
30
00:01:13,939 --> 00:01:16,399
Are you kidding me? You're adorbs.
31
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,025
It's very exclusive.
32
00:01:18,128 --> 00:01:21,028
I mean, he only has been giving
out two invitations a day,
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00:01:21,131 --> 00:01:22,630
and tomorrow's the last two.
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00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:24,298
That is so cruel.
35
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:27,402
Nuh-unh. That is so cool.
36
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,736
Build the hype.
37
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,239
Then people suck up to you
to be a part of that hype.
38
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,509
Then you create the demand for the hype.
39
00:01:34,611 --> 00:01:36,144
Oh, I got to meet this dude Cameron.
40
00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:37,645
It's Cameron Carter.
41
00:01:37,747 --> 00:01:39,680
He's so cool, he has full-name status.
42
00:01:39,783 --> 00:01:43,050
I do not think Cameron Carter
is so cool.
43
00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:44,352
Who does he think he is?
44
00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:46,788
Look, we don't have time to
explain Cameron Carter to you.
45
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:49,778
- Oh. Well, she told you.
- Someone's very busy. My goodness.
46
00:01:49,864 --> 00:01:52,593
- [Chuckles]
- And so it begins.
47
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:55,997
- What are you talking about?
- Seventh grade.
48
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,732
It's like a blood bath.
49
00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:59,700
You make one mistake, and you're dead.
50
00:01:59,803 --> 00:02:02,036
Like my seventh grade hike to the Falls.
51
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:03,337
The Falls.
52
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,807
I forgot to put a protein bar
in my backpack,
53
00:02:05,909 --> 00:02:08,042
and I fainted from exhaustion.
54
00:02:08,144 --> 00:02:11,779
When I awoke, I was being
carried by a small girl
55
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:15,082
like we were on our honeymoon
in the Poconos.
56
00:02:15,185 --> 00:02:16,250
[Exhales deeply]
57
00:02:16,352 --> 00:02:17,885
Ladies' man rep gone like that.
58
00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:19,253
You had a ladies' man rep?
59
00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:21,489
You don't sweep the math awards
60
00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:23,858
and not become a ladies' man.
61
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,161
- Bow...
- Yeah.
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00:02:27,263 --> 00:02:28,396
Don't listen to him.
63
00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:29,997
Your son's a weirdo.
64
00:02:30,099 --> 00:02:31,999
The twins, they'll be all right.
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00:02:32,101 --> 00:02:34,068
No, he's right.
66
00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:36,704
I remember in seventh grade,
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00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:40,975
I washed my hair and I let it air dry.
68
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,411
And my mom, she said I looked like
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00:02:43,513 --> 00:02:47,682
a beautiful African princess.
70
00:02:47,784 --> 00:02:50,518
It didn't dry the way
I thought it would.
71
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,687
Sorry, no room...
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00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:55,223
Helmet Hair.
73
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:56,858
Helmet Hair?
74
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,025
That's hilarious!
75
00:02:58,127 --> 00:02:59,460
No, it's not!
76
00:02:59,562 --> 00:03:02,763
Dre, they voted me "Most Likely
to Survive a Car Crash."
77
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:05,266
- Also hilarious.
- Oh, my God. You know what...
78
00:03:05,368 --> 00:03:06,701
Where the hell did you go
to middle school, Bow?
79
00:03:06,803 --> 00:03:09,003
- The Apollo?
- This is serious, Dre.
80
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,571
Seventh grade is hard enough
81
00:03:10,673 --> 00:03:13,341
without being excluded from parties.
82
00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,410
We need to go talk to the school.
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00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:17,879
It's just one party
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00:03:17,981 --> 00:03:20,281
that they still might get invited to.
85
00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:23,084
And if they don't,
then they'll deal with it.
86
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:25,219
And how did you deal with being left out
87
00:03:25,321 --> 00:03:26,420
in seventh grade?
88
00:03:26,523 --> 00:03:30,157
I was the king of seventh grade.
89
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:31,559
I never took a loss.
90
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,194
♪
91
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,664
Junior, thanks for helping me
pick up the dry cleaning.
92
00:03:36,766 --> 00:03:38,499
Those choir robes are heavy.
93
00:03:38,601 --> 00:03:40,501
Yeah, thank you for
helping me fill my day.
94
00:03:40,603 --> 00:03:43,771
Gap year is definitely off
to a slow start.
95
00:03:43,873 --> 00:03:45,940
You ever feel like you've read
the whole Internet?
96
00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:48,276
You ever feel like you didn't wash your...
97
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,611
- face this morning?
- I...
98
00:03:50,713 --> 00:03:52,613
Hey, Miss Ruby.
99
00:03:52,715 --> 00:03:53,748
So good to see you.
100
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:56,017
Oh, honey, it's good to see you, too.
101
00:03:56,119 --> 00:03:57,351
[Chuckles]
102
00:03:57,453 --> 00:03:59,954
We are so gonna need your voice tonight.
103
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:02,623
Oh, well, you know me.
When the Lord calls...
104
00:04:02,725 --> 00:04:06,894
♪ I come running! ♪
105
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:07,895
Who's this?
106
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,698
Niecy, this is my grandson, Junior.
107
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,465
Nice to meet you.
108
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:13,100
Niecy's our little star.
109
00:04:13,202 --> 00:04:15,770
She's been with us since
she was 10 years old.
110
00:04:15,872 --> 00:04:18,172
I poached her from First Faith.
111
00:04:18,274 --> 00:04:20,107
Place fell on the skids after that.
112
00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:22,977
It's an Olive's Garden now. [Laughs]
113
00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,713
Go, Niecy. Give him a little taste.
114
00:04:25,815 --> 00:04:28,549
♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪
115
00:04:28,651 --> 00:04:31,986
♪ When Jesus washed ♪
116
00:04:32,088 --> 00:04:34,755
♪ He washed my sins away ♪
117
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:35,756
Wow.
118
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,626
She's never going secular. [Chuckles]
119
00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:41,896
All right, you two
little babies chat, okay?
120
00:04:41,998 --> 00:04:44,532
But, uh, don't let him bore you
121
00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:47,602
talking about that wizard Harvey Porter
122
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,304
who fights those hog wars.
123
00:04:50,406 --> 00:04:51,572
[Mutters]
124
00:04:51,674 --> 00:04:53,841
- It's Harry Potter, Grandma.
- Yeah, yeah.
125
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:56,544
I haven't read those books
in years, so...
126
00:04:56,646 --> 00:04:58,446
Yeah, me neither.
127
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,947
I actually just re-read them.
128
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,048
Me, too.
129
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,550
They hold up, right?
130
00:05:02,652 --> 00:05:05,019
A story for all ages.
131
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:09,223
Anyway, what's your story?
132
00:05:09,325 --> 00:05:12,326
You, uh, go to college on the first try?
133
00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:14,362
[Laughs]
134
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:18,265
[Sighs loudly]
135
00:05:18,368 --> 00:05:20,334
- Hello.
- Hi.
136
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,104
Hello, Principal Biggs.
137
00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:25,706
I can't get your kids invited
to Cameron Carter's party.
138
00:05:25,808 --> 00:05:27,074
Dang it.
139
00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:28,409
I told her.
140
00:05:28,478 --> 00:05:30,578
Doesn't this school have a rule
141
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,713
about everybody getting
invited to everything?
142
00:05:32,782 --> 00:05:34,115
For elementary kids.
143
00:05:34,183 --> 00:05:37,251
But this is middle school,
so it's kill or be killed.
144
00:05:37,282 --> 00:05:38,241
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
145
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,954
- That sounds very violent.
- Don't worry, the kids figure it out.
146
00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:42,023
Told her that, too.
147
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,324
Is there anything you can do?
148
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:46,560
Listen, if I could fix
middle school for anyone,
149
00:05:46,629 --> 00:05:48,763
- I'd go back and fix it for myself.
- Okay.
150
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,598
The summer between sixth
and seventh grade,
151
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,533
I grew 2 1/2 feet.
152
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,335
- Did you join the league?
- They thought I was a teacher.
153
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:55,313
- What?
- Or a Yeti.
154
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:56,370
That's why I became a teacher.
155
00:05:56,472 --> 00:05:57,905
- Mm-hmm.
- Right. Okay.
156
00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:00,741
Anyway, my advice is just
to stay out of it.
157
00:06:00,843 --> 00:06:03,544
I told her that, too,
158
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,945
- but she doesn't listen.
- Dre.
159
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,681
Now, look, Principal Biggs,
we'll get out of your way.
160
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,249
You go on and do your job.
161
00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:10,484
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
162
00:06:10,586 --> 00:06:11,686
You heard her, Bow.
163
00:06:11,754 --> 00:06:13,754
[Scoffs] What do teachers
know about children?
164
00:06:13,823 --> 00:06:15,156
We need to do something, Dre.
165
00:06:15,258 --> 00:06:17,291
Why?
166
00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:19,260
Look at them. Look at Jack.
167
00:06:19,328 --> 00:06:21,696
He's all cocky, kicking it
on top of the table.
168
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,597
- He's...
- And... And look at Diane,
169
00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:25,199
ruling the roost.
170
00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:27,068
- She looks pretty.
- Uh-huh.
171
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,303
They are fine, Bow. Come on. Let's go.
172
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:30,938
- Okay.
- CAMERON: Yo! Final invitations!
173
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,306
Saved the best for last.
174
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:33,941
Get over here, you two.
175
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:35,676
Oh, my God! Yes!
176
00:06:35,778 --> 00:06:37,511
- Okay. Okay.
- See? Winners.
177
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:38,913
Okay.
178
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,382
- Thank you.
- Whoa, what are you doing?
179
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,851
These are for them.
180
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,153
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
181
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:48,889
We were... We were just
excitedly walking this way.
182
00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,791
- Yeah, let's just... just go.
- Let's go, yeah.
183
00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:52,727
Wait, you thought those were for you?
184
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,695
You guys are so thirsty.
185
00:06:54,764 --> 00:06:56,330
Hey, everybody! Hold on to your drinks.
186
00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:58,299
It's the Thirsty Twins!
187
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,302
[Chanting]
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
188
00:07:01,404 --> 00:07:04,138
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
189
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,906
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
190
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,141
Oh, God.
191
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,377
Hey, baby! Don't forget
your new book bag!
192
00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:11,545
Ah. Thanks, Mom!
193
00:07:11,647 --> 00:07:12,913
All right.
194
00:07:14,817 --> 00:07:16,083
BOY: Kid's got a purse!
195
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,818
[Laughter]
196
00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:21,589
I did take a loss.
197
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,491
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
198
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:26,293
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
199
00:07:26,395 --> 00:07:27,895
Okay, we've got to do something.
200
00:07:27,997 --> 00:07:29,864
Yeah, I'm about to punch a kid.
Hold my purse.
201
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:31,322
- [Screaming] No!
- What?
202
00:07:32,026 --> 00:07:34,924
I can't believe they clowned my kids!
203
00:07:35,003 --> 00:07:36,995
Yeah, i-if it was Junior,
yeah, I'd understand,
204
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,461
but this was Jack and Diane.
205
00:07:38,547 --> 00:07:41,048
Diane's petty and she's mean
206
00:07:41,116 --> 00:07:44,051
and she messed up my meet
and greet with Boyz II Men,
207
00:07:44,119 --> 00:07:46,320
but she's no loser.
208
00:07:46,388 --> 00:07:47,854
I wish there was a way that I could put
209
00:07:47,957 --> 00:07:49,823
this Cameron Carter in his place.
210
00:07:49,892 --> 00:07:52,125
Oh-ho-ho! Let's go on the Dark Web
211
00:07:52,228 --> 00:07:54,695
and find a child assassin.
212
00:07:54,763 --> 00:07:57,264
Now, do you want a child
who's an assassin
213
00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:59,800
or a grown man who kills children?
214
00:07:59,902 --> 00:08:01,001
What?
215
00:08:01,103 --> 00:08:02,102
Neither!
216
00:08:02,186 --> 00:08:04,138
Fine, that's the last time
I try to help.
217
00:08:04,573 --> 00:08:06,173
So, you need a sensible plan.
218
00:08:06,242 --> 00:08:08,175
You need to get a disguise,
go undercover,
219
00:08:08,244 --> 00:08:10,911
and enroll in the school as a cooler kid
220
00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:13,013
- named Cameron Carter.
- Hmm.
221
00:08:13,082 --> 00:08:15,649
That's also a terrible plan.
222
00:08:15,718 --> 00:08:17,317
It's like he just comes here to talk,
223
00:08:17,386 --> 00:08:18,318
but he doesn't need our help, right?
224
00:08:18,387 --> 00:08:19,286
You feel that in your spirit?
225
00:08:19,355 --> 00:08:20,854
Some people just want you to listen.
226
00:08:20,923 --> 00:08:22,456
Dre, if you don't have the stones
227
00:08:22,524 --> 00:08:24,858
to hire a black-market
Internet assassin,
228
00:08:24,927 --> 00:08:28,662
what you need to do is throw
a kick-ass rival party.
229
00:08:28,731 --> 00:08:30,931
Oh, like Reese Witherspoon
in "Big Little Lies."
230
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:33,533
[Scoffs] Amabella's party
didn't stand a chance.
231
00:08:33,602 --> 00:08:37,471
You know, a rival party just might work.
232
00:08:37,573 --> 00:08:38,705
Wonderful,
233
00:08:38,774 --> 00:08:41,074
because Interpol just seized
Josh's computer.
234
00:08:41,111 --> 00:08:42,219
- There you go.
- What are you doing?
235
00:08:42,244 --> 00:08:43,744
Fingerprints on that. I got to go.
236
00:08:43,846 --> 00:08:45,178
No, no, no, no. No, no, no!
237
00:08:45,247 --> 00:08:46,346
- This isn't...
- [Camera shutter clicks]
238
00:08:46,415 --> 00:08:47,547
Oh, it just took my picture.
239
00:08:47,616 --> 00:08:50,384
Yes, I understand that is
the school policy,
240
00:08:50,452 --> 00:08:53,086
Dean Reynolds,
but what about the mom policy,
241
00:08:53,155 --> 00:08:55,689
which states that you expel any kid
242
00:08:55,758 --> 00:08:58,425
that is mean to my kid?
243
00:08:58,527 --> 00:09:01,261
Uh, no, I think
you're being unreasonable.
244
00:09:01,363 --> 00:09:03,263
Uh, okay, yeah, thank you.
245
00:09:03,332 --> 00:09:05,532
I am getting nowhere
with the school board.
246
00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:07,000
Don't worry about it, all right?
247
00:09:07,069 --> 00:09:08,302
I got a better plan.
248
00:09:08,370 --> 00:09:10,671
Forget Cameron Carter.
249
00:09:10,739 --> 00:09:12,572
We are throwing our own party.
250
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,041
Kids! Get down here!
251
00:09:14,109 --> 00:09:15,475
- A rival party?
- Mm-hmm.
252
00:09:15,544 --> 00:09:18,412
[Gasps] That is way faster
than suing the school.
253
00:09:18,437 --> 00:09:19,456
- What?
- I love that.
254
00:09:19,481 --> 00:09:20,547
- Uh, okay.
- I love it!
255
00:09:20,616 --> 00:09:21,558
- Okay, come on.
- Come in here. Sit down.
256
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:22,652
- Come on. Sit down.
- Sit down.
257
00:09:22,677 --> 00:09:24,384
- Come on. Hurry up. Sit down. Cop a squat.
- Yes. Come on.
258
00:09:24,453 --> 00:09:25,819
- Okay, sitting down.
- All right.
259
00:09:25,921 --> 00:09:29,323
We are going to save your social life.
260
00:09:29,391 --> 00:09:30,324
- Ha!
- Mm-hmm.
261
00:09:30,392 --> 00:09:31,358
- It's too late.
- Hmm.
262
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,093
The janitor in the lower school told me
263
00:09:33,162 --> 00:09:34,127
- to keep my chin up...
- Mnh-mnh.
264
00:09:34,196 --> 00:09:35,529
...but also wouldn't give me dap.
265
00:09:35,631 --> 00:09:37,798
Have no fear, little lady.
266
00:09:37,866 --> 00:09:40,167
Your father and I
are gonna throw a party
267
00:09:40,235 --> 00:09:42,936
that is way better
than Cameron Whatever's.
268
00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:43,737
- Mm-hmm.
- [Chuckles]
269
00:09:43,839 --> 00:09:44,838
You know it's Carter.
270
00:09:44,907 --> 00:09:47,374
I am taking away his power.
271
00:09:47,476 --> 00:09:48,342
Snatch it.
272
00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:49,643
Yeah, but won't everyone think
273
00:09:49,712 --> 00:09:51,878
the Thirsty Twins
are just throwing a party
274
00:09:51,947 --> 00:09:53,747
because we didn't get invited
to Cameron Carter's?
275
00:09:53,816 --> 00:09:55,449
No!
276
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:58,352
Because your party will be
bigger, blacker, and deffer,
277
00:09:58,420 --> 00:09:59,586
like a Chris Rock special.
278
00:09:59,655 --> 00:10:01,822
- Yeah, way better.
- Mm-hmm.
279
00:10:01,924 --> 00:10:02,989
How?
280
00:10:03,058 --> 00:10:04,424
- Well, um...
- Okay, uh, yeah. Good question.
281
00:10:04,526 --> 00:10:05,492
- Yeah.
- How?
282
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:06,526
We're, um...
283
00:10:06,628 --> 00:10:08,829
Uh, because i-it's gonna be a...
284
00:10:08,931 --> 00:10:10,330
be a-a-a...
285
00:10:10,399 --> 00:10:12,799
- haunted house party.
- Haunted house party!
286
00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:14,534
- Yes!
- [Laughs evilly]
287
00:10:14,603 --> 00:10:17,771
Yes! That leads to a pizza party
288
00:10:17,873 --> 00:10:20,340
with a deejay in the backyard.
289
00:10:20,409 --> 00:10:21,475
- Yes!
- Yes! Oh!
290
00:10:21,543 --> 00:10:24,578
And then we are gonna sue the school!
291
00:10:24,646 --> 00:10:26,113
- [Grunts]
- Let's back it up just a little bit.
292
00:10:26,215 --> 00:10:27,280
Okay, it's...
293
00:10:27,349 --> 00:10:30,317
I am going to use
all of my resources at work.
294
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:31,295
- Okay.
- Okay, I'm...
295
00:10:31,327 --> 00:10:33,047
- I'm gonna get a special-effects guy...
- Pssh!
296
00:10:33,094 --> 00:10:36,323
...gonna hire a hair
and makeup professional.
297
00:10:36,392 --> 00:10:40,894
And I will get real blood
from the hospital.
298
00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:42,229
- What?
- She might.
299
00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,096
Yeah.
300
00:10:43,165 --> 00:10:44,664
Your reps are in the gutter,
301
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:46,333
and ain't no way we gonna half-step.
302
00:10:46,435 --> 00:10:47,334
- Mnh-mnh.
- All right?
303
00:10:47,436 --> 00:10:49,836
- So get on board.
- Mm-hmm.
304
00:10:49,938 --> 00:10:52,272
I don't know.
305
00:10:52,374 --> 00:10:53,340
We're still not sold, dawg.
306
00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:54,374
- Aw, man.
- Yeah.
307
00:10:54,476 --> 00:10:55,976
Look, shouldn't we just accept our place
308
00:10:56,078 --> 00:10:58,078
and keep our heads down
until this all blows over?
309
00:10:58,180 --> 00:10:59,846
It won't.
310
00:10:59,848 --> 00:11:01,381
Kids never forget.
311
00:11:01,483 --> 00:11:03,083
Ever.
312
00:11:03,185 --> 00:11:04,518
32 years ago...
313
00:11:04,586 --> 00:11:05,886
Oh, boy. Here we go.
314
00:11:05,954 --> 00:11:07,721
...your grandma made me carry a book bag
315
00:11:07,823 --> 00:11:09,923
that looked like a purse.
316
00:11:10,025 --> 00:11:12,992
Let's see how my friends let that go.
317
00:11:13,061 --> 00:11:14,161
Yeah
318
00:11:14,263 --> 00:11:15,862
"7th grade memories?"
319
00:11:15,931 --> 00:11:17,330
Bam. Look at that.
320
00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:20,667
- Your purse, Purse Boy!
- Dre's punk-ass purse.
321
00:11:20,736 --> 00:11:23,537
RONNIE: My mom died. Also, your purse!
322
00:11:23,605 --> 00:11:25,105
32 years later,
323
00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:27,707
and I'm still Purse Boy.
324
00:11:27,776 --> 00:11:29,376
Yeah.
325
00:11:29,478 --> 00:11:30,944
Okay, we're in.
326
00:11:31,046 --> 00:11:33,513
Aw, yes! Okay.
327
00:11:33,582 --> 00:11:36,183
This party is gonna be lit!
328
00:11:36,251 --> 00:11:37,317
- I regret it already.
- Sh-Sh-She's not
329
00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:38,618
gonna say that
when your friends are here.
330
00:11:38,687 --> 00:11:39,953
I make no promises.
331
00:11:40,022 --> 00:11:41,455
[Groans]
332
00:11:41,557 --> 00:11:44,224
♪
333
00:11:44,293 --> 00:11:45,792
[Door closes]
334
00:11:45,894 --> 00:11:48,061
Hey. You just getting home?
335
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:50,030
Yeah, I was just hanging out
with a friend.
336
00:11:50,132 --> 00:11:51,097
All night?
337
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,799
Yeah, I'm pretty tired.
338
00:11:52,835 --> 00:11:54,734
You want Grandma to make you
a cup of tea, baby?
339
00:11:54,837 --> 00:11:56,336
No, I just need to rehydrate.
340
00:11:56,438 --> 00:11:57,537
Okay.
341
00:11:57,639 --> 00:11:58,405
[Sighs]
342
00:11:58,507 --> 00:12:00,707
♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪
343
00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:02,509
Whoo. Electrolytes...
344
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:04,945
Mmm.
345
00:12:05,047 --> 00:12:07,380
♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪
346
00:12:07,483 --> 00:12:08,782
Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
347
00:12:08,884 --> 00:12:09,950
Come here.
348
00:12:10,052 --> 00:12:12,886
What friend were you
hanging out with last night?
349
00:12:12,955 --> 00:12:14,488
I was with Niecy.
350
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:15,989
Okay.
351
00:12:16,091 --> 00:12:19,459
So, were you with her...
352
00:12:19,561 --> 00:12:23,697
or were you with her?
353
00:12:23,765 --> 00:12:25,899
Um, I think the second one?
354
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:29,135
Aw, Junior, I don't believe you.
355
00:12:29,204 --> 00:12:30,971
You can't be running around my church,
356
00:12:31,073 --> 00:12:33,006
having relations with people.
357
00:12:33,108 --> 00:12:34,808
Yeah, it... it was definitely
the second one.
358
00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:37,878
Do you know how clucky
those church hens are?
359
00:12:37,946 --> 00:12:39,679
They're gonna be gossiping
all over the place
360
00:12:39,748 --> 00:12:42,449
about me and my gigolo grandson
361
00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:44,918
taking advantage of
that sweet little girl.
362
00:12:44,987 --> 00:12:47,521
Niecy texted me, "You up?" and...
363
00:12:47,623 --> 00:12:49,689
Not one more word out of you, young man.
364
00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:50,924
Go to your room.
365
00:12:50,993 --> 00:12:52,826
Go to your room and
think about what you did.
366
00:12:52,928 --> 00:12:53,693
Really?
367
00:12:53,762 --> 00:12:55,295
No. No. Go to your room
368
00:12:55,364 --> 00:12:57,197
and don't think about what you did.
369
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:59,332
Get out of here!
370
00:12:59,434 --> 00:13:01,301
The hell is wrong with you?
371
00:13:02,504 --> 00:13:03,970
JACK: Oh, man.
372
00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:06,039
I didn't think you guys could do this.
373
00:13:06,141 --> 00:13:08,041
I mean, you got the whole
seventh grade here,
374
00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:09,543
even Cameron Carter.
375
00:13:09,611 --> 00:13:11,278
DIANE: Whoa, and Emily Copeland.
376
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:13,380
I heard her mom lets her
have co-ed sleepovers.
377
00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:14,745
- What?
- I told you...
378
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,073
...we would deliver the cool kids.
379
00:13:17,119 --> 00:13:21,288
Now, go, and own this moment.
380
00:13:21,356 --> 00:13:23,957
Jack Johnson, Diane Johnson.
381
00:13:24,026 --> 00:13:25,492
You take your full-name status
382
00:13:25,561 --> 00:13:27,694
and you just rub it
in everybody's faces.
383
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,596
Go. Go on.
384
00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:33,466
Welcome to a Jack Johnson
and Diane Johnson production
385
00:13:33,535 --> 00:13:36,169
of the scariest night of your life!
386
00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:37,203
- Yes!
- Whoo!
387
00:13:37,272 --> 00:13:38,638
Oh, and do not forget to stick around
388
00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:41,141
for the after party,
where there's gonna be a deejay
389
00:13:41,243 --> 00:13:43,443
who will play radio edits
of all your favorite songs.
390
00:13:43,545 --> 00:13:44,711
This is lit!
391
00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:47,213
Yeah! That's exactly what
I said, Cameron Carter.
392
00:13:47,316 --> 00:13:48,014
This is lit!
393
00:13:48,116 --> 00:13:50,016
Like, I am legit scared.
394
00:13:50,118 --> 00:13:51,318
This place is hype!
395
00:13:51,386 --> 00:13:52,652
Hyp...
396
00:13:52,721 --> 00:13:53,920
The Hype Twins!
397
00:13:54,022 --> 00:13:55,689
- Oh!
- The Hype Twins!
398
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,691
[Chanting] Hype Twins! Hype Twins!
399
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,359
Hype Twins! Hype Twins!
400
00:13:59,461 --> 00:14:01,027
Hype Twins! Hype Twins!
401
00:14:01,129 --> 00:14:02,028
Hype Twins!
402
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,229
We did it.
403
00:14:03,332 --> 00:14:04,664
- We saved our kids.
- Yes.
404
00:14:04,766 --> 00:14:06,199
Oh, my God. Look. Go on in.
405
00:14:06,301 --> 00:14:07,667
Oh, look at that!
406
00:14:08,637 --> 00:14:10,570
- Are you okay?
- [Voice breaking] Yeah.
407
00:14:10,672 --> 00:14:13,873
I, uh, just never thought that
I'd be such a good father.
408
00:14:13,976 --> 00:14:14,808
Oh.
409
00:14:16,078 --> 00:14:19,045
[Children screaming]
410
00:14:19,147 --> 00:14:21,915
It's a haunted house!
It's supposed to be scary!
411
00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:24,184
Don't leave! There's pizza!
412
00:14:24,286 --> 00:14:27,354
No! The pizza's a trap! It's all a trap!
413
00:14:27,456 --> 00:14:29,756
It wasn't real. It wasn't real.
414
00:14:29,858 --> 00:14:31,257
That baby had a knife!
415
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,726
Where's Joshua?
416
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,894
Has anyone seen Joshua?
417
00:14:35,897 --> 00:14:37,163
Uh...
418
00:14:37,265 --> 00:14:39,599
I think if we find Joshua...
419
00:14:40,602 --> 00:14:42,202
...we can turn this around.
420
00:14:42,304 --> 00:14:43,770
[Demonic laughter]
421
00:14:46,239 --> 00:14:47,981
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
422
00:14:48,036 --> 00:14:49,481
Pizza delivery.
423
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,167
If you like, there's
40 more boxes downstairs.
424
00:14:52,228 --> 00:14:53,527
Yep, 40 more.
425
00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:54,928
Just go.
426
00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:56,330
I'm too upset to eat.
427
00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:57,898
We're sorry, all right?
428
00:14:58,007 --> 00:14:59,797
We were... We were just trying to help.
429
00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:00,802
Yeah.
430
00:15:00,803 --> 00:15:02,869
- And in a way, we did help, you know?
- Yeah.
431
00:15:02,938 --> 00:15:05,358
Because now, no one's gonna
talk about how
432
00:15:05,428 --> 00:15:06,912
lame you were at school the other day.
433
00:15:09,545 --> 00:15:12,112
- Aw, buddy. Aw, I need a hug, too.
- Pepperoni or cheese?
434
00:15:12,214 --> 00:15:13,313
Oh.
435
00:15:16,051 --> 00:15:17,985
How did we mess this up so bad?
436
00:15:18,087 --> 00:15:19,953
Well, we were just trying
to save our kids
437
00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:21,822
from being Helmet Hair and Purse Boy.
438
00:15:21,890 --> 00:15:22,889
I know.
439
00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:24,424
Talking about that seventh-grade purse?
440
00:15:24,526 --> 00:15:26,893
Yeah, it ruined middle school for me.
441
00:15:26,996 --> 00:15:30,530
Your Jheri curl and
all those Chocodiles you ate
442
00:15:30,599 --> 00:15:32,399
ruined middle school for you.
443
00:15:32,468 --> 00:15:33,867
But you got through it, didn't you?
444
00:15:33,969 --> 00:15:36,536
If we can make things
a little less awful
445
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,205
for our kids, shouldn't we?
446
00:15:38,307 --> 00:15:39,306
No.
447
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:42,109
Middle school is terrible
no matter what.
448
00:15:42,177 --> 00:15:44,578
Now, I know you want to protect the kids
449
00:15:44,647 --> 00:15:46,847
from the pain of growing up,
but you can't.
450
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:50,684
What you can do is teach them
they can handle it.
451
00:15:50,753 --> 00:15:52,586
- She's not wrong.
- Mm-hmm.
452
00:15:52,688 --> 00:15:54,421
- It's about resilience.
- Mm-hmm.
453
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:58,525
I didn't let being called
Helmet Hair break me.
454
00:15:58,594 --> 00:16:01,561
Pushing through made me stronger.
455
00:16:01,664 --> 00:16:04,765
And that's why you have the
strength to go out in the world
456
00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:08,068
looking like a hot mess
the way you do every day.
457
00:16:10,472 --> 00:16:14,308
I am a beautiful African princess.
458
00:16:14,410 --> 00:16:16,076
Look, Ma,
459
00:16:16,178 --> 00:16:18,345
it's not easy
watching your kids grow up.
460
00:16:18,414 --> 00:16:20,614
Yeah. It happens fast.
461
00:16:20,683 --> 00:16:22,449
One day they're getting called names
462
00:16:22,551 --> 00:16:25,385
and the next day, they're sleeping with
463
00:16:25,454 --> 00:16:28,955
the principal soloist
in your church choir.
464
00:16:29,024 --> 00:16:30,290
Mama, what you talking about?
465
00:16:30,359 --> 00:16:33,193
Oh, it's just something
I saw on "Scandal."
466
00:16:33,262 --> 00:16:34,361
The what?
467
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:35,696
Eh...
468
00:16:36,932 --> 00:16:38,098
- Excuse me.
- Aah! Aah!
469
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,167
I'm Joshua Miller.
470
00:16:40,269 --> 00:16:42,569
I'm looking for my parents.
471
00:16:42,671 --> 00:16:44,538
Um, you... Okay.
472
00:16:44,606 --> 00:16:46,707
Uh, come this way, dear.
473
00:16:46,809 --> 00:16:50,477
♪
474
00:16:50,546 --> 00:16:52,813
Junior, there you are.
475
00:16:52,915 --> 00:16:54,981
Grandma, before you throw that at me,
476
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,416
you've got your church back.
477
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:58,151
I'm not going out with Niecy anymore.
478
00:16:58,253 --> 00:17:00,133
Well, I appreciate that.
479
00:17:00,243 --> 00:17:02,910
And I'm sorry I upset you.
480
00:17:02,972 --> 00:17:04,805
You know, it was kind of reckless of me
481
00:17:04,907 --> 00:17:06,774
to hook up with someone
from your church.
482
00:17:06,876 --> 00:17:10,544
The truth is, is that wasn't
what bothered me.
483
00:17:10,647 --> 00:17:12,780
You know Grandma
don't really give a damn
484
00:17:12,882 --> 00:17:13,948
about what people think.
485
00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:15,316
Then what made you so angry?
486
00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,485
Oh, I don't know.
487
00:17:17,553 --> 00:17:20,021
You were supposed to be off at college
488
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:22,423
getting your swerve on.
489
00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:24,792
But now you're doing
this gap year thing,
490
00:17:24,861 --> 00:17:28,562
and it's all happening in front of me.
491
00:17:28,665 --> 00:17:32,433
You becoming a man caught me off guard.
492
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,535
I get that.
493
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,837
It's gonna take me a minute
to get used to
494
00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:40,308
seeing my little grandbaby as a man.
495
00:17:42,545 --> 00:17:43,911
I'll work on that.
496
00:17:45,515 --> 00:17:48,182
So, do men still hug their grandmas?
497
00:17:50,186 --> 00:17:51,052
Come here.
498
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,754
[Laughs] Come here.
499
00:17:53,856 --> 00:17:55,389
[Chuckles] Aww.
500
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,325
♪
501
00:17:57,427 --> 00:17:58,859
DIANE: I can't believe this.
502
00:17:58,961 --> 00:18:00,261
JACK: Do we have to go in?
503
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,662
Yeah, can't we just call in sick?
504
00:18:01,731 --> 00:18:03,764
Or do that cruise ship school
like Zack and Cody?
505
00:18:03,866 --> 00:18:08,002
Look, guys, we know today
is not gonna be easy.
506
00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:10,771
And we are so sorry for interfering.
507
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:12,640
But there are just some things
508
00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:16,444
that you are gonna need
to handle on your own now.
509
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,178
Okay?
510
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,113
- No, not okay.
- Wha...
511
00:18:19,215 --> 00:18:20,448
You did this.
512
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,750
I'm gonna have to eat lunch
in the bathroom because of you.
513
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,452
Yeah, you two walk us into this school.
514
00:18:24,554 --> 00:18:25,586
Be our human shield.
515
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:26,620
We... We can't.
516
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,823
We're gonna have to be hands-off.
517
00:18:28,925 --> 00:18:32,093
All right? It's... It's...
It's what's best.
518
00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:35,796
Well, isn't that convenient
for you, Andre.
519
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,365
Let's just get this over with.
520
00:18:39,469 --> 00:18:40,901
Have a... Have a wonderful day.
521
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:42,603
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
522
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,075
It's like watching "The Green Mile."
523
00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:50,378
- Yeah.
- Dead twins walking.
524
00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:54,181
Okay, Dre, I know I said that
we wouldn't help, but I...
525
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:55,950
- I have an idea.
- Okay.
526
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,318
What if we do help them?
527
00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:00,187
We can't, all right,
even though I want to, all right?
528
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:03,491
- But they have to do this.
- You're right.
529
00:19:03,593 --> 00:19:05,493
[Sighs]
530
00:19:05,595 --> 00:19:07,094
- Let's get out of here.
- [Dinging]
531
00:19:08,331 --> 00:19:09,697
Use your camera.
532
00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:11,499
I got it right here.
533
00:19:11,601 --> 00:19:13,000
Oh, there's the twins.
534
00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,935
Oh, God. Th-They can't do it.
535
00:19:15,805 --> 00:19:18,506
You're wrong. Our kids can't do it.
536
00:19:18,608 --> 00:19:20,708
[Gasps] They've been exiled.
537
00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:22,610
Damn you, seventh grade.
538
00:19:22,678 --> 00:19:24,378
You are not going to believe
what happened.
539
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,714
The haunted house was so scary
Cameron peed himself.
540
00:19:26,816 --> 00:19:27,581
Yeah.
541
00:19:27,683 --> 00:19:28,949
Cameron Carter peed himself?
542
00:19:29,051 --> 00:19:31,018
A kid that pees himself
doesn't get full name status.
543
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,187
And now everyone's calling him
Pee Pee Carter.
544
00:19:33,289 --> 00:19:35,523
And now we're cool because
it happened at our house.
545
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:37,057
Oh! Oh, okay.
546
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,359
We're back on top!
547
00:19:38,461 --> 00:19:40,194
Middle school is going to
be amazing from here on out.
548
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:41,429
- Nothing's gonna bring us down.
- [School bell rings]
549
00:19:41,531 --> 00:19:42,396
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
550
00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:43,531
- Bye.
- I told you.
551
00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:44,999
- Okay.
- Bigger, blacker, deffer!
552
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,802
- Okay, okay, babe.
- [Both chuckle]
553
00:19:47,904 --> 00:19:48,869
I give 'em about two days, though,
554
00:19:48,971 --> 00:19:50,104
and they're gonna be brought down.
555
00:19:50,206 --> 00:19:53,274
Well, let's let them live this moment.
556
00:19:53,376 --> 00:19:54,442
Okay.
557
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,077
Bye, Pee Pee Carter!
558
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,435
Dre, get... Roll up
the window! I'm going.
559
00:20:00,412 --> 00:20:02,170
So my kids were growing up
560
00:20:02,225 --> 00:20:04,802
and learning how to handle
their own business.
561
00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:07,156
And I realized it was time to handle
562
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:10,493
some unfinished business of my own.
563
00:20:10,595 --> 00:20:12,895
Because if you're true to yourself,
564
00:20:12,998 --> 00:20:15,016
it doesn't matter what people say.
565
00:20:17,102 --> 00:20:19,535
Hey, everybody. Dre's got a purse!
566
00:20:19,637 --> 00:20:22,071
That's right [bleep].
567
00:20:22,173 --> 00:20:23,673
You think I could pull that off?
568
00:20:23,775 --> 00:20:25,541
Shorts? No.
569
00:20:25,643 --> 00:20:27,287
But that purse, though?
570
00:20:27,357 --> 00:20:28,644
Also no.
571
00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:33,729
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
40347
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