subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The.Sex.Monster.1999.DVDRip

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic Download

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech Download

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek Download

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian Download

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,546 (screams and sirens) 2 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,512 ("Double Trouble Lover" By Kevin Williams & Dread Flimstone) 3 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,893 (reggae music starts) 4 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,420 (screams and sirens) 5 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,682 Oh, damn it. 6 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:06,728 This thing is not designed for a human to pour coffee with. 7 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,105 Go sit down, I'll bring your breakfast. 8 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,899 - It's a gag coffeepot. - It's okay. 9 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,862 Here you go, sweetie. 10 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:18,866 I was reading about this new sex scandal. 11 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:26,081 So, last night was okay? It wasn't too quick? 12 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,916 - It was nice. - Are you sure? 13 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:32,171 - I've got so much on my mind... - It was nice. It always is. 14 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,339 - It always is? - Um-hmm. 15 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,343 It always is? 16 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,095 You want some melon? 17 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,723 You're totally satisfied with our sex life? 18 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,433 Yeah, I'm totally satisfied, honey. 19 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,602 I'll get you some melon. 20 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,313 And there's nothing you would do different? 21 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,065 No changes you would make? 22 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,485 Different? 23 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:59,114 Yeah... nothing you wanna try? 24 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:02,659 Try the melon... it's so good. 25 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,162 Nothing... 26 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:07,456 you've always been curious about...? 27 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,459 No, I'm just completely happy. 28 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,544 You are? 29 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,255 Try the melon, it's so good. 30 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,473 (Radio:) Have you ever practiced lesbianism? 31 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:27,351 - No. - Other women don't excite you? 32 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,853 - No. - Have these ladies come on to you? 33 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:33,357 Umm... if so, I didn't notice it. 34 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,859 Are you having lunch with me today? 35 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:39,738 No, sorry, Didi, Marty's taking me to lunch. 36 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,201 That's okay, I understand. 37 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:46,620 If he cancels, though, I'm still available. 38 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,830 Your husband's taking you to lunch? That's sweet. 39 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,958 Yeah, he is sweet. 40 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,668 (doorbell rings) 41 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,672 Hey, beautiful. 42 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,756 Hey... 43 00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:00,342 - You hungry? - Ooh, I'm starved. 44 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,678 - Can we go someplace nice? - Anywhere you want. 45 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,309 Darn, you showed. 46 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,312 If you didn't show, I was gonna take her to lunch. 47 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:16,024 Sorry to disappoint you, Didi, but I showed. 48 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:20,362 Yes, you did, I'm not gonna hold it against you, though. 49 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,865 Have a nice lunch with your sexy-ass wife. 50 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,491 - I will. - You ready? 51 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,951 Definitely. 52 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,246 What, you're mad? Don't be mad, it's a nice restaurant. 53 00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:33,834 Come on, I don't have time I'm behind the eight-ball at work. 54 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,878 I made that doctor's appointment for you today. 55 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,212 Don't forget it, okay? 56 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,841 I cannot believe I gotta let 'em put a camera in my ass. 57 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:44,720 You're at the age where you gotta take care of yourself. 58 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,263 They called the office. Know what they wanna know? 59 00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:48,432 Do I wanna pay extra to use the Sony? 60 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,560 They got a Sony product that goes up my ass. 61 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,979 "Sony Assman". 62 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:59,568 So what's the deal with little Didi at work? 63 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,445 Any new lesbian stories? 64 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:05,073 I don't think she's a lesbian. She might be bisexual. 65 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:08,202 That's better still. We like bisexual. 66 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,871 - We do? - Yes, we do. 67 00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,956 Is she openly bisexual? 68 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,375 What do you mean by "openly bisexual"? 69 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,586 I mean, is she openly bisexual? 70 00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,546 If I went right now to the salon, and opened the front door, 71 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:23,091 I walked in and yelled, "Hey, anybody here bisexual?", 72 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,760 what would little Didi do? 73 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,262 Do we have to talk about Didi's sexuality all the time? 74 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,597 Yes... 75 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,808 You're totally obsessed by this every time you see her. 76 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,312 She's hot for you, Laura. It's the start of the new millenium, 77 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,564 everyone's doin' it. Don't be so straight. 78 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,441 I am straight. 79 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,319 I think it'd be good for ya. 80 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,238 - Is that what you think? - I do... 81 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,199 I think it'd be good for us. Menage a trois, 82 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,701 inside the confines of a good marriage. 83 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,245 What happens if I like it? 84 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,872 If you like it? Great. 85 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,417 What if you come home and we are going at it in our bedroom? 86 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,294 Wouldn't you be just a little hurt? 87 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:03,006 Hurt? Only if I smash my face on the headboard... 88 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,300 diving under the blankets with the two of you... 89 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,345 I'd be thrilled you found a new hobby you liked. 90 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:16,019 See how clear that picture is? 91 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,063 The same way you're looking around the office, 92 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,691 I'm looking at the lower intestines, 93 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,693 and then this curves it around... 94 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,197 And this is actually a job you wanted as a kid? 95 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:32,536 That's funny. Lie down there. 96 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,788 We'll see who's laughing in about a minute. 97 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:38,166 Knees forward, if you would, please. 98 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,085 Be gentle. I know this comes as a shock, 99 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,546 but I'm not real excited about this. 100 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:45,549 No... that makes two of us. 101 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,553 Oh-oh-oh! Wait, wait... 102 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:50,846 Ow, ow! 103 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:53,765 Pull it out, Jerry! Pull it out! 104 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,768 Hey, four-year-old, it's just the lubricant. 105 00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,439 I haven't started with the probe yet. 106 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,609 Gentle is the buzzword for today, okay? 107 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,070 Ohh! 108 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:21,877 Have you seen that new Porsche Boxter? 109 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,217 It's a beauty. 110 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,886 Ohh-hh!! 111 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:37,100 (doorbell rings) 112 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,520 Hey... Jane! 113 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,313 - Hi! - How're you doin'? 114 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,940 I didn't know you were in town. 115 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:46,026 I'm going to San Francisco. I was gonna visit on my way back, 116 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,070 but I decided to visit on my way up. 117 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,113 - Didn't Laura tell you? - No, she didn't. 118 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,282 But that's okay. You're always welcome, you know that. 119 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,245 What? 120 00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:01,208 I just miss you. It's great to see my best friend. 121 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,085 I miss you too. 122 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,097 - I love this. - I just got it. 123 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,266 That is so not me. 124 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,559 No. 125 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,687 So how are your sculptures doing? 126 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:26,400 They're doing great. I think a gallery wants to show them. 127 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:29,611 I love this one. Is this new? 128 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,697 It really works on the piano. 129 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,325 Isn't it great, Marty? 130 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,704 $18,000 in lessons, and tchotchkes for the living room, 131 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,833 I couldn't be more happy. Are you kiddin' me, Jane? 132 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:45,669 I don't want her having hobbies, 133 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:48,881 - I want it to be all about me. - About you, huh? 134 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,049 You should be making little sculptures of me. 135 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,554 Feels so good. 136 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,598 It's so good to see you. 137 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,894 Wow, look at this, erotic feet massaging. 138 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,480 This is great. Good and gay, I love this. 139 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,025 - It is not gay. - What? 140 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,651 Can you imagine me and one of my buddies... 141 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:13,238 sitting on this couch, rubbing each other's feet? 142 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,199 Not a pretty sight, is it? 143 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,868 Women can get away with this, and it's a beautiful thing. 144 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:19,828 It's not gay, Marty. 145 00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,998 It's gay, and I love it. 146 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,960 I'm not into women, but if I was, this would be my first stop, 147 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:30,172 and you, my dear, would be in serious trouble. 148 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,341 That's it. I'm going upstairs to write to "Penthouse". 149 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:34,718 Is he serious? 150 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,222 He would love it if I would sleep with him and a woman. 151 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,349 Apparently, it's all he and his buddies ever talk about. 152 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,518 What is it with these guys and that stupid fantasy? 153 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,020 They can't please one woman, let alone two. 154 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,147 Maybe that's what the second woman is for... 155 00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,816 to do half the work. 156 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,987 Diva, did the mail come? 157 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:55,822 Mmm - yes. 158 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,284 And I'm sorry, but they're all bills. 159 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,287 Well, I can handle them, okay? 160 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,373 Once Billy finishes this house... 161 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,668 those lots are gonna sell like crazy. I'm not worried. 162 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:11,046 Nothing fazes you, Marty. 163 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:14,007 I'll tell you what fazes me... 164 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,844 - You marrying that ski bum... - I'll bet. 165 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:20,681 It does... I'm concerned, can't you tell? 166 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,058 How's he gonna support you, this guy? 167 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,061 What's the pay scale for the ski patrol? 168 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,896 Guy's got no future, Diva. 169 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:30,107 Oh, he's got a future, stop it. 170 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,945 The ski patrol? What's he gonna make one day, sergeant? 171 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,408 Best case scenario, you're married to a mountie. 172 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:45,038 I got a great idea for an investor. Dave Pembroke. 173 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,041 Dave Pembroke? 174 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,460 From Michigan, Dave Pembroke? I remember him... 175 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,755 he was a real tough guy, beating everybody's ass. 176 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,800 He was in my brother's grade, that whole crowd of guys... 177 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:58,802 who got their jollies beating people up. 178 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:04,141 Well, now he's getting some jollies outta $30 million. 179 00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:08,437 Guy's got 18 furniture stores down in Orange County. 180 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,689 Hey, Clay. You got my note? 181 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:16,528 I've invited him Sunday for brunch. 182 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,780 Sunday's not good for me. 183 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,783 Why? What's Sunday? 184 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:26,205 You got that girl coming in? From Fresno? 185 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,082 You know what, Bill? You're married, you got two kids... 186 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,835 Would you relax? I'm having fun. 187 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,754 Having fun? You're gonna get caught. 188 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,506 - I'm not gonna get caught. - You're cheating on your wife... 189 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:38,592 you're gonna get caught. Listen to me... 190 00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:43,222 You're in a situation you can't control. 191 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,807 And somewhere along the way, someone, some idiot... 192 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,352 is gonna say the wrong thing at the wrong time, 193 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:50,646 - and it's gonna get back to Carol. - Would you relax? 194 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:56,276 - Nobody knows, Marty. - I'll tell you who knows... 195 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:59,988 This is gonna sound corny, and you'll tease me later, 196 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:04,993 but I'll tell ya who knows. God knows. 197 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,038 God does not know. And if he does know... 198 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,541 - he doesn't care. - He does care, okay? 199 00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,584 Cheating on your wife is not cool. 200 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,546 I know - I'm gonna get struck down by a bolt of lightning... 201 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,674 - is that what you're telling me? - Exactly... 202 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:22,261 that's what I'm saying, and I stand real close to you, 203 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,013 so I'd appreciate it if you'd get your shit together. 204 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:31,270 Don't you judge me. Have you seen my wife lately? 205 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,021 - She's fat. - She's not fat... 206 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,190 She's fat. She's not into sex anymore... 207 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:38,652 all she wants to do is eat. I'm a man. I got my needs. 208 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,280 I have my needs, too. At the top of my needs list, 209 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:46,034 is you to be at my house for brunch on Sunday. 210 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:49,663 Marty's on my case about going to this brunch at his house. 211 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,708 - Brunch? - He's making a big deal about it. 212 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,501 That's a Jew thing, brunch. 213 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,295 They can't decide if they want breakfast or lunch, 214 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,046 so they have both. 215 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,299 I can't wait till he hears the gossip. 216 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,509 He's gonna love it. He's got a thing for her. 217 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,970 - He's got a thing for Diva? - He would never admit it... 218 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,139 but he's dying to just take her. 219 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:09,057 So why doesn't he just do it? 220 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:12,019 For one reason, she's engaged. And also because... 221 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,313 he's very hung up about not screwing around. 222 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,357 The guy's very straight that way. 223 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,234 I don't get that. 224 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,236 European men, they've been doing it for centuries. 225 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,447 Doesn't make 'em assholes. 226 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,657 Guy in America, gets a little action on the side, 227 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:29,036 they label him an asshole. I do not get that. 228 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:33,373 And I blame the Pilgrim men. In the beginning of our society, 229 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:37,169 they got all religious and puritanical. 230 00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,755 They fucked the whole thing up. 231 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,591 They gave away deal points they had no business giving away. 232 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,426 Where did you hear that? 233 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:48,138 I should have negotiated that deal. We'd all be gettin' laid. 234 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:50,682 - Gentlewomen, what's up? - How are you? 235 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:54,478 I'm good. Take care of your little scheduling problem? 236 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,480 - See? - Jew. 237 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,106 I'm not going to brunch with Dave Pembroke. 238 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,442 The guy's Republican. 239 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:03,862 Big deal, so am I when I'm looking for an investor. 240 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,864 Wait till you hear the good gossip. 241 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,909 The good gossip? Coming from you, Murphy, it's bullshit. 242 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,995 It's about your assistant... Diva. 243 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,082 What about Diva? 244 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,125 The guy that sold car phones to Eric Keldren's company? 245 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,795 Went to college with her. He was in her dorm. 246 00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:22,923 Said she spent a fair amount of time on the front line... 247 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,133 saw a lot of action. 248 00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,802 So what? What is it? 249 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,513 Guess. 250 00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:30,889 She did a two-way. 251 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:34,268 - Better... - She did a gang-bang. 252 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:38,021 It's coming from Eric. I don't believe a word out of his mouth. 253 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,648 Girls. 254 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:45,988 - She did girls. - She did girls? 255 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,823 This is true? 256 00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:51,076 Diva did girls in college? 257 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,620 (Laura:) You believe that story is true? 258 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:57,124 I believe it. Keldren's a lot of things, 259 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,084 but the guy's not a liar. 260 00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,712 She's young. 261 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,714 Young girls... 262 00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:06,341 they're all into it nowadays. It's become very fashionable. 263 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,968 Yeah? Well, for me, it hasn't. 264 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,012 Will you cut it out with the cookies? Cholesterol. 265 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,847 One cookie. 266 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:16,059 Will you look at this? Lucia's getting so lazy. 267 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:18,020 She put the bowl away without drying it. 268 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:22,191 You know what I'm thinkin'? It would be good for you. 269 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:24,985 - Like a life lesson. - For me? 270 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,362 Yeah... open you up a little bit. 271 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,449 I think it would be fun. 272 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:35,204 I'm sure it would be fun for you. You'd be having a lot of fun. 273 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:41,585 You're always saying you wanna do things for the marriage. 274 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:44,171 Always talking about hobbies and projects and shit, 275 00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:49,510 that's what this would be. It would be like a bonding thing. 276 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:51,512 How stupid do I look to you? 277 00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:54,515 All right, so I took a shot. 278 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,934 How much longer before dinner? I'm starved. 279 00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:01,230 Looks like you've already eaten dinner. 280 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:04,733 I've been married to my husband for 30 years. 281 00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:09,404 - Wow, that's great. - It's a miracle... 282 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:13,867 that in the last 30 years, I didn't kill him in his sleep. 283 00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:17,079 Jump on a plane, and not come back. 284 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,957 - How long have you been married? - Six years. 285 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:23,460 That's nice. Gonna have kids? 286 00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:26,213 Yeah, I think we will. 287 00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:28,590 Have all the fun you can while you can. 288 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,926 Do it now, get it out of the way. 289 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:35,848 The spending and traveling and the nuttiness. Just do it all. 290 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:38,267 Do it all before the kids come. 291 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,395 After the kids come, there's no more fun. 292 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:45,983 - Come on, you love your kids, right? - Not today. 293 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,318 I don't love anybody today. 294 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,822 Except you. I love my hairdresser. 295 00:17:51,864 --> 00:17:54,074 Oh - oh - oh...! 296 00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:09,173 - Was that okay? - Yeah, it was. Oh yeah. 297 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,716 Good. 298 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:14,178 Still is to me, I gotta tell you, Laura... 299 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,597 I look down and wonder how I got into bed 300 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:19,600 with a woman as good looking as you. 301 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,268 I do. After all this time, 302 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:26,815 I still think you're going to look at me and yell for a cop. 303 00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,483 Oh, Marty... shut up. 304 00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:37,284 See what I'm saying? We have sex, what's the first thing you do? 305 00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:40,120 You get up and wash up. How does that work? 306 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,042 So that's what you really want, huh? 307 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,836 For me to have sex with you and another woman? 308 00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:51,048 Yeah... 309 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:54,051 Oh, yeah. I'd like it a lot. 310 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:57,763 And you want me to kiss her, and... you know... 311 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,348 go down on her? 312 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:03,810 Yeah... I mean, if you wanted to go down on her. 313 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,355 I don't know. 314 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,106 - I don't know if I could. - What...? 315 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,192 I do it all the time, it's not so bad. 316 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:13,862 Plus, you have... the home court advantage. 317 00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,031 - What's that? - Home court advantage... 318 00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:17,866 that's what you have. Think about it. 319 00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:20,661 You're a woman, you know what's going on down there. 320 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:23,622 You could do it better than me your first time out... 321 00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:27,584 on my best night ever. Which was... 322 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:31,255 last April, at the cabin. Rememeber? 323 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:34,716 You could be better than that. Better than last me April. 324 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,053 - I could? - You could, first time out, because... 325 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:40,389 you have the home court advantage. That's my theory... 326 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:45,102 on why women are getting into other women. 327 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,813 - Yeah? What's that theory? - Human nature. 328 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,731 Everybody likes to do something that they're good at... 329 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:53,277 everyone likes to excel. Women are finding something 330 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:56,655 that they're really good at, really easily, really fast. 331 00:19:56,697 --> 00:20:00,158 And they're really enjoying it. And it's home court advantage. 332 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:06,665 I think you would be somebody that would benefit from it. 333 00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:10,127 (gargling) 334 00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,089 I couldn't do it with a stranger. I want you to know that. 335 00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,300 All right, fine. 336 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:19,469 And I'm not gonna do it with Diva, all right? 337 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,264 - Diva? - You do not get to screw Diva. 338 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:25,642 Fine. Diva's off the list. Forget Diva. 339 00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:28,020 I love the fact we're having this conversation. 340 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:31,732 - I bet you do. - What about Didi at your salon? 341 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:34,902 Come on, Marty, I have to work with her. 342 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:38,906 Part time. You work with her part time. She's perfect. 343 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:41,575 You don't want it to be a stranger. 344 00:20:41,617 --> 00:20:44,203 We know her but we don't really know her. 345 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,581 She's cute, too, in her way, and... 346 00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:50,334 you know she's into this kinda thing, so... 347 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:53,587 I like Didi. I think she's sweet. 348 00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:57,883 I like Didi, too. Put Didi at the top of the list. 349 00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:00,260 Operation Didi. 350 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,429 Call her up, have her for dinner. 351 00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,598 If it works out, great. 352 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,558 If it doesn't, I'll do the dishes. 353 00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,817 (doorbell chimes) 354 00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:24,743 - Hi...! - Hi, Didi. 355 00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:27,246 - How are you? - Good. Come on in. 356 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,713 You did these? 357 00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,757 Yeah, I did. 358 00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:42,886 God... Laura, they're wonderful. 359 00:21:42,928 --> 00:21:45,722 Thank you. 360 00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:47,432 Do you like my perfume? 361 00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:49,935 Roses. 362 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,105 Yeah. 363 00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:59,236 Marty...? 364 00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,703 Didi... it's great that you finally came over, 365 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:12,416 because Laura's wanted to have you for dinner for the longest time. 366 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:16,211 You know, I don't think we need any more wine. Drunk... 367 00:22:16,253 --> 00:22:19,506 - Drinks. - Drinks...? Oh, drunk. 368 00:22:19,548 --> 00:22:21,675 - Let's get drunk. - Drunk, let's get drunk. 369 00:22:21,717 --> 00:22:24,595 Hard drinks. I got a big jug of rum, 370 00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:27,347 - does that sound good? - I love rum. Rum and coke. 371 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,933 I'm dangerous on rum and coke. 372 00:22:29,975 --> 00:22:32,269 We have a winner. It's rum and coke. 373 00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,314 You hear that? She's dangerous on rum and coke, this one. 374 00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:38,901 - Is he always this funny? - Not always. 375 00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:41,445 Where you from, Dee? Chicago or something? 376 00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:45,741 - I'm from all over. - All over? Wow. 377 00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:48,577 Yep. I'm an Army brat. 378 00:22:48,619 --> 00:22:53,457 An Army brat? That is intense. Tell us about it. 379 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:57,377 I lived with my dad until I was 14. 380 00:22:57,419 --> 00:23:00,964 Then out of nowhere, I met my mom and I lived with her... 381 00:23:01,006 --> 00:23:03,717 until we decided that we hated each other. 382 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:09,973 Then I hitchhiked around a little while, until I was 17 383 00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:13,936 and I met this woman I lived with in Florida, 384 00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:17,606 but... it didn't really work out, 385 00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:20,817 because she was sorta in love with me... 386 00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:23,612 I guess, to be honest, I just enjoyed fucking her... 387 00:23:23,654 --> 00:23:25,531 (crash) 388 00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:33,455 Let me tell you this story... 389 00:23:33,497 --> 00:23:35,999 This is so nice out here. 390 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,671 (reggae music plays softly) 391 00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:50,055 Wow, Didi, you should be a professional dancer. 392 00:23:50,097 --> 00:23:51,598 She should. 393 00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:55,477 Doesn't anybody wanna dance with me? 394 00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:57,271 All right, I'll dance. 395 00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:01,692 Oh yeah... Oh, baby... 396 00:24:06,822 --> 00:24:08,907 You're scaring me now. 397 00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:12,452 Laura, come up here. Look at this. 398 00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:14,538 Laura, come dance with me. 399 00:24:14,580 --> 00:24:16,456 Come on... come on. 400 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:25,674 Laura wanted to dance. Didi wants to dance tonight. 401 00:24:25,716 --> 00:24:28,468 I wanna dance so bad... 402 00:24:29,553 --> 00:24:31,847 (music continues) 403 00:25:16,934 --> 00:25:21,563 Didi, just stay there. I need Marty to help me with something... 404 00:25:21,605 --> 00:25:23,732 Marty...! 405 00:25:27,611 --> 00:25:28,904 What's up? Havin' fun? 406 00:25:28,946 --> 00:25:31,698 - No, honey, no. - Yes. 407 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:35,577 I think this might be a mistake. We should call it a night. 408 00:25:35,619 --> 00:25:39,498 Call it a night? No, we don't wanna call it a night. 409 00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,501 Are you kidding me? We're havin' fun. 410 00:25:42,543 --> 00:25:45,754 - We are? - Yes. She's hot for you, this girl. 411 00:25:45,796 --> 00:25:48,590 Oh, God. I know, I know... 412 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,553 Are you sure this is what you really want? 413 00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:54,721 Let me think for a millionth of a second... 414 00:25:54,763 --> 00:25:56,807 Yes. Are you kiddin'? 415 00:25:56,849 --> 00:25:59,685 We're having fun. We're having a good time. 416 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:03,730 - You okay? - Just fill this up. 417 00:26:03,772 --> 00:26:06,900 (Didi:) Is it okay if I go swimming? 418 00:26:06,942 --> 00:26:09,903 Yes... go swimming, are you kidding? 419 00:26:09,987 --> 00:26:12,489 Our poolo es su poolo. 420 00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:14,700 (Didi:) Laura, is he always so funny? 421 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,618 Ohh, yeah... 422 00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:21,081 So we got... 423 00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:23,208 we got a little booze here. 424 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:26,962 - Are you coming in? - Coming in...? 425 00:26:27,004 --> 00:26:29,256 - Ohh...! - Yeah. 426 00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:34,553 I think we should go in. 427 00:26:34,595 --> 00:26:36,597 I'm gonna get a swimsuit. 428 00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:40,017 And so are you. Come on. 429 00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:42,352 We're gonna get a swimsuit... 430 00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:45,230 and you... just trawl around. 431 00:26:50,194 --> 00:26:53,655 - Hello. - Hello. 432 00:26:57,326 --> 00:26:59,161 Hello. 433 00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:11,882 Hey... hey... hello. 434 00:27:11,924 --> 00:27:14,843 Take you for a ride. Can I borrow my wife? 435 00:27:26,146 --> 00:27:28,649 (Didi:) That looks like fun. 436 00:27:30,067 --> 00:27:33,070 - I want one. - Want a ride? 437 00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:39,993 Okay, we'll give you a ride. 438 00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:50,337 I'll put you up here. You can nurse your drink... 439 00:27:50,379 --> 00:27:53,382 We know what your priorities are tonight. 440 00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:56,927 Didi, you... oh, Didi...! 441 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:07,062 (giggling) 442 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:13,610 Take me back to Laura. I want one from Laura. 443 00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,529 You want a ride from Laura? 444 00:28:42,139 --> 00:28:43,765 What...? 445 00:28:46,310 --> 00:28:48,103 Laura, what...? 446 00:29:00,991 --> 00:29:04,620 Hey... what happened? What happened down there, sweetie? 447 00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:08,832 I don't know... It just got too real or something. 448 00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:13,128 I don't know. I felt stupid. 449 00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:17,591 Hey... you're not stupid. You're not. 450 00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:20,469 I'm the stupid one. This was a mistake. 451 00:29:20,511 --> 00:29:23,013 This was a mistake. I'm sorry. 452 00:29:23,013 --> 00:29:25,766 That's okay. 453 00:29:25,807 --> 00:29:27,100 (knocking) 454 00:29:28,769 --> 00:29:31,021 I'll send her home. I'll say goodnight. 455 00:29:31,063 --> 00:29:34,316 No, I'll talk to her. Let me talk to her. 456 00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:40,948 - Hey... - Hi. 457 00:29:40,989 --> 00:29:44,826 I'm sorry if I did anything to make you feel badly. 458 00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:47,871 You both made me feel really comfortable, 459 00:29:47,913 --> 00:29:54,086 and I haven't felt comfortable around anyone for a long time. 460 00:29:54,127 --> 00:29:57,798 God... you're just so beautiful... 461 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,259 and great... 462 00:30:02,636 --> 00:30:05,055 Should I go home? 463 00:30:09,142 --> 00:30:11,520 Can I come in, then? 464 00:30:14,439 --> 00:30:17,317 Yeah, you can come in. 465 00:31:58,210 --> 00:32:00,796 (moaning and rattling) 466 00:32:27,531 --> 00:32:30,033 You guys wanna knock off and go get a drink? 467 00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:32,035 (moaning continues) 468 00:32:38,709 --> 00:32:42,004 Wow... that's what that flap is for. 469 00:32:47,885 --> 00:32:52,014 Don't worry about me... I'll be back. 470 00:32:52,055 --> 00:32:54,099 I'll go downstairs and get a drink, okay? 471 00:32:54,141 --> 00:33:00,022 Get a drink... do a couple hundred push-ups. 472 00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:02,191 (moaning increases) 473 00:33:27,966 --> 00:33:30,219 Murphy... can't tell Murphy. Damn, damn... 474 00:33:36,433 --> 00:33:39,394 (line ringing) 475 00:33:39,436 --> 00:33:40,562 Hi. 476 00:33:42,773 --> 00:33:45,484 You're not gonna believe this. 477 00:33:45,526 --> 00:33:50,572 My wife, right now, is upstairs - in my bedroom... 478 00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:54,201 with little Didi... 479 00:33:54,243 --> 00:33:56,411 the hottie at work... 480 00:33:56,453 --> 00:33:59,581 and the two of them are tearing into each other... 481 00:33:59,623 --> 00:34:03,836 like there's no tomorrow... Yeah, yeah, it gets better. 482 00:34:03,877 --> 00:34:05,629 I'm up there. I'm part of the package. 483 00:34:05,671 --> 00:34:08,048 Yeah - no, I'm just taking a break. 484 00:34:09,091 --> 00:34:11,885 What...? No. 485 00:34:11,927 --> 00:34:14,304 I don't wanna order a pizza. I was just calling. 486 00:34:14,346 --> 00:34:16,223 I had to tell someone. 487 00:34:23,856 --> 00:34:26,108 (moaning continues) 488 00:34:30,529 --> 00:34:32,364 Hey, you guys... 489 00:34:36,618 --> 00:34:38,078 Marty's back. 490 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,788 Hey, honey... 491 00:34:49,256 --> 00:34:52,092 Oh, shit. Damn. 492 00:34:57,347 --> 00:34:59,224 Hey... Hi. 493 00:34:59,266 --> 00:35:01,435 Hi. 494 00:35:01,476 --> 00:35:04,563 - Bye. - You leaving? 495 00:35:05,689 --> 00:35:08,192 - Thanks. - Thank you. 496 00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:11,278 You too... I mean, bye. 497 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,780 Thank you. See ya. 498 00:35:13,864 --> 00:35:15,616 Bye. 499 00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:20,829 Hey. 500 00:35:21,955 --> 00:35:24,041 - How you doin'? - Did you sleep well? 501 00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:26,460 I did. How about you? 502 00:35:26,502 --> 00:35:29,963 I had a good sleep. I feel so rested. 503 00:35:31,673 --> 00:35:34,676 You okay? Everything okay with last night? 504 00:35:34,718 --> 00:35:37,137 I'm okay. Are you okay? 505 00:35:37,179 --> 00:35:41,850 Me? I'm very okay. Especially if you're okay. 506 00:35:41,892 --> 00:35:43,894 Oh, yeah, I am, I am. 507 00:35:43,936 --> 00:35:47,356 You know what last night was? I think it was educational. 508 00:35:47,397 --> 00:35:52,194 Educational? I love to hear you use the word educational. 509 00:35:52,236 --> 00:35:55,364 That's great. You see? You were worried. 510 00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:57,407 And now, you're educated. 511 00:35:57,449 --> 00:35:59,743 Oh, yeah. 512 00:35:59,785 --> 00:36:03,121 Do you want some breakfast? I'm going to have a giant breakfast. 513 00:36:04,414 --> 00:36:10,128 So everything's okay, seriously? No weirdness... 514 00:36:10,170 --> 00:36:13,048 Oh, no, I'm cool. 515 00:36:13,090 --> 00:36:16,093 Now I know what you mean by the "home court advantage" thing. 516 00:36:16,134 --> 00:36:17,803 Wow. 517 00:36:17,845 --> 00:36:18,428 (Radio:) Wow. 518 00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:20,013 My scene is done actually at my apartment. 519 00:36:20,055 --> 00:36:22,432 - Your actual apartment? - On my fire escape. 520 00:36:22,474 --> 00:36:24,893 I have another scene, a lesbian scene... 521 00:36:24,935 --> 00:36:26,186 - Really? - Which you will love. 522 00:36:26,228 --> 00:36:27,563 Oh, I most certainly will. 523 00:36:27,604 --> 00:36:30,899 - Girls. - Have you been out to the site yet? 524 00:36:30,941 --> 00:36:33,569 No, I have not been to the site. 525 00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:36,738 Just want to know if you saw the changes in the kitchen plan. 526 00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:39,575 - No, I haven't seen them. - I know what you're gonna say... 527 00:36:39,616 --> 00:36:41,994 You're gonna say it costs too much. I've been thinking about it... 528 00:36:42,035 --> 00:36:44,037 and it ain't all about money. 529 00:36:44,079 --> 00:36:45,622 You don't know what I'm gonna say, 530 00:36:45,664 --> 00:36:47,749 'cause that's not what I was gonna say, 'cause you're right. 531 00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:49,918 It ain't all about money. 532 00:36:50,794 --> 00:36:54,047 What's your deal? Fighting with your wife again? 533 00:36:54,089 --> 00:36:57,050 She has burrowed her way up inside my asshole. 534 00:36:57,134 --> 00:36:59,094 Being married is very tough. 535 00:36:59,136 --> 00:37:01,471 Yes, but it's only as tough as you make it. 536 00:37:01,513 --> 00:37:03,974 It's only as tough as you make it. 537 00:37:04,016 --> 00:37:06,435 Know why you guys are having trouble at home? 538 00:37:06,476 --> 00:37:08,896 - You wanna know? - Why? 539 00:37:08,937 --> 00:37:12,107 - You're not shakin' it up. - Excuse me? 540 00:37:12,149 --> 00:37:15,569 That's all we're talking about here. Shake it up. 541 00:37:15,611 --> 00:37:19,573 - Shake it up? - Yes. Shake it up. 542 00:37:19,656 --> 00:37:22,075 You're the man. That's your responsibility. 543 00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:26,079 The women wanna be led. They wanna be taught new tricks. 544 00:37:26,121 --> 00:37:28,081 They wanna be shaken up. 545 00:37:28,165 --> 00:37:30,792 What the fuck are you talking about? 546 00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:34,296 I'm talking about you, going home... 547 00:37:34,338 --> 00:37:36,465 and you, going home... 548 00:37:36,507 --> 00:37:40,052 and teaching your wife a couple of new tricks. 549 00:37:40,093 --> 00:37:43,847 You will find the picture changes very quickly. 550 00:37:46,558 --> 00:37:48,477 Shake it up, boys. 551 00:38:34,565 --> 00:38:36,400 (doorbell rings) 552 00:38:36,441 --> 00:38:39,278 - Who's that? - I don't know. 553 00:38:39,319 --> 00:38:40,904 Why don't you go see? 554 00:38:47,244 --> 00:38:49,705 (doorbell rings) 555 00:39:00,382 --> 00:39:03,051 - It's Didi. - Didi? 556 00:39:03,093 --> 00:39:04,928 I wonder who called her? 557 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,560 (yelping and banging) 558 00:39:22,279 --> 00:39:25,824 You two are on fire tonight. Look at you. 559 00:39:28,702 --> 00:39:33,707 Babe...? You okay? Do you want to rest for a minute? 560 00:39:36,126 --> 00:39:38,545 Can I talk to you for a minute? 561 00:39:38,587 --> 00:39:41,381 Yeah, honey? 562 00:39:41,423 --> 00:39:43,258 Are you okay? 563 00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:45,052 Yeah, I'm fine. 564 00:39:45,093 --> 00:39:48,138 For a minute, I thought you were having trouble breathing. 565 00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:50,933 - No... - Don't stop. 566 00:39:52,935 --> 00:39:55,854 (moaning resumes) 567 00:40:07,491 --> 00:40:09,535 (cries and thumping) 568 00:40:20,295 --> 00:40:21,964 Hey. 569 00:40:29,263 --> 00:40:31,223 Hey, you guys... 570 00:40:33,308 --> 00:40:36,061 Hey... hey, Didi... 571 00:40:37,771 --> 00:40:40,023 Hi. 572 00:40:40,065 --> 00:40:42,359 - Guys having fun? - Yeah. 573 00:40:44,278 --> 00:40:45,988 Want me to bring up sandwiches? 574 00:40:46,029 --> 00:40:49,199 Don't stop, don't stop. 575 00:40:49,241 --> 00:40:51,660 (moans resume) 576 00:40:56,623 --> 00:40:58,834 (Ioud cries and bumping) 577 00:41:25,152 --> 00:41:27,404 Bye, Marty. See ya. 578 00:41:29,489 --> 00:41:31,116 Bye. 579 00:41:31,909 --> 00:41:34,369 "Bye, Marty. See ya." 580 00:41:34,411 --> 00:41:36,330 (Radio:) You wanna stand up for us? 581 00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:40,209 Oh, please do. You are a hottie. 582 00:41:40,250 --> 00:41:41,835 Are you very proud of yourself naked? 583 00:41:41,877 --> 00:41:43,545 I wouldn't say "proud", just comfortable. 584 00:41:43,587 --> 00:41:45,380 - Have you ever done lesbianism? - No... 585 00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:51,762 - Hi. - Diva. 586 00:41:51,803 --> 00:41:53,555 What are you doing here? 587 00:41:53,597 --> 00:41:55,182 The Pembrokes are coming over. 588 00:41:55,224 --> 00:41:57,100 Laura called and asked me to help with the big brunch. 589 00:41:57,142 --> 00:42:00,395 - You didn't know about it? - No... Laura called you? 590 00:42:00,437 --> 00:42:02,814 I though it was a great idea. Hi! 591 00:42:02,856 --> 00:42:06,151 - You look great. - Look at you, you look fabulous. 592 00:42:06,193 --> 00:42:07,528 Come on in. 593 00:42:14,451 --> 00:42:17,204 - Marty, how are ya? - Hi, Marty. 594 00:42:17,246 --> 00:42:20,624 Dave, Evie, how are you guys? Good to see you. 595 00:42:23,627 --> 00:42:25,879 You look amazing. Look at you. 596 00:42:25,921 --> 00:42:28,257 Both of you. You look great. 597 00:42:28,298 --> 00:42:30,509 I'm not feeling too great. My wife beat me at tennis. 598 00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:33,971 You look great. This guy looks 22 years old... 599 00:42:34,012 --> 00:42:36,849 like he did in Michigan, this guy. 600 00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:38,851 Marty, your wife looks adorable. 601 00:42:38,892 --> 00:42:42,646 Thank you. She is adorable, but look at this guy. 602 00:42:42,688 --> 00:42:45,440 Both of you look fantastic. 603 00:42:45,482 --> 00:42:49,361 That's it. We're in trouble. Way too many "you look greats". 604 00:42:49,403 --> 00:42:52,239 Marty, get me a drink. I wanna be good and hammered 605 00:42:52,281 --> 00:42:54,157 when you start slamming me for that loan. 606 00:42:54,199 --> 00:42:56,952 Oh, come on. That's not what this is about. 607 00:42:56,994 --> 00:42:59,538 I want you to have a nice Sunday brunch with us. 608 00:42:59,580 --> 00:43:02,416 Marty, get the "great-Iookin' guy" a drink, will ya? 609 00:43:02,457 --> 00:43:04,710 Fine. How about you, Evie? You need to get hammered? 610 00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:06,920 - A Bloody Mary, sweetie. - Comin' right up. 611 00:43:06,962 --> 00:43:09,173 I'll get one too. We'll all get slammed. 612 00:43:11,008 --> 00:43:13,218 - Look overdone to you? - I'm not eating that. 613 00:43:13,260 --> 00:43:17,014 You know, Diva, you look really beautiful today. 614 00:43:18,307 --> 00:43:20,642 Thank you, Laura. So do you. 615 00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:24,688 I love your hair. 616 00:43:26,398 --> 00:43:28,442 I like your hair. 617 00:43:32,696 --> 00:43:34,489 What is that scent? 618 00:43:35,407 --> 00:43:37,159 Do you like it? 619 00:43:38,035 --> 00:43:39,995 Oh, yeah... 620 00:43:40,037 --> 00:43:41,914 I like it. 621 00:43:46,126 --> 00:43:48,045 I'll take those. 622 00:43:51,256 --> 00:43:53,175 You remember Dave Pembroke? 623 00:43:53,217 --> 00:43:56,345 - I remember... - His wife, Evie, 624 00:43:56,386 --> 00:43:58,013 Billy's wife, Carol... 625 00:43:58,055 --> 00:43:59,598 (exchanging greetings) 626 00:44:01,475 --> 00:44:03,477 No, Billy, we're gonna put you in the middle. 627 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:04,561 Billy sits here. 628 00:44:04,603 --> 00:44:06,146 Billy will be in the middle. 629 00:44:06,188 --> 00:44:08,690 - Don't fight over me. - And I'll put Diva right here. 630 00:44:08,732 --> 00:44:11,026 - It's fine, honey. - I'll get another chair. 631 00:44:11,068 --> 00:44:13,612 Thank you. Come on, you sit here. 632 00:44:17,407 --> 00:44:20,244 Just want you to know who runs this house... 633 00:44:20,285 --> 00:44:22,371 Laura. 634 00:44:23,997 --> 00:44:25,374 It's good to see you, man. 635 00:44:25,415 --> 00:44:28,669 Good to see you, too. I remember your older brother. 636 00:44:28,710 --> 00:44:31,672 Oh, Jesus. Are you still kickin' ass? 637 00:44:31,713 --> 00:44:34,550 I remember when you and he took on the Statler twins... 638 00:44:37,427 --> 00:44:38,846 Sausage? 639 00:44:40,013 --> 00:44:41,849 No. 640 00:44:41,890 --> 00:44:45,310 Let's hope marriage and California have settled him down. 641 00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:50,357 He's settled down. He's just a big pushover now. 642 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,860 Somehow, Evie, I kinda doubt that... 643 00:44:53,235 --> 00:44:56,822 (Billy:) Marty tells me you're doing good. 644 00:44:56,864 --> 00:44:59,241 (Marty:) Good? He's got 18 furniture stores... 645 00:44:59,283 --> 00:45:03,328 Excuse me... I'm gonna help Lucia in the kitchen. 646 00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:05,789 Okay, help Lucia in the kitchen. 647 00:45:08,083 --> 00:45:10,252 Billy... you need a place setting. 648 00:45:10,294 --> 00:45:12,379 Lucia will get it. Lucia...! 649 00:45:12,421 --> 00:45:13,881 That's okay... 650 00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:15,757 - Laura, sit down, please... - It's fine... 651 00:45:15,799 --> 00:45:19,595 I know exactly where it is. I'm gonna go help Diva. 652 00:45:19,636 --> 00:45:22,097 I don't want your food to get cold. It's the Pembrokes... 653 00:45:22,139 --> 00:45:24,600 I'm gonna go help Diva, okay? 654 00:45:28,478 --> 00:45:30,314 Careful with the butter. 655 00:45:33,650 --> 00:45:36,153 Diva, I am so sorry. 656 00:45:36,195 --> 00:45:38,447 I really am sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me... 657 00:45:38,488 --> 00:45:40,449 I feel like a pig. 658 00:45:40,490 --> 00:45:42,326 What is going on? 659 00:45:44,995 --> 00:45:49,291 Marty told me this thing about you in college, seeing girls, 660 00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:54,171 ever since he told me, I can't get it or you out of my mind. 661 00:45:54,213 --> 00:45:56,256 You know I'm getting married in two months, right? 662 00:45:56,340 --> 00:45:58,675 - Yes, I do. - You do? 663 00:45:58,717 --> 00:46:01,970 I do. Like I said before, I'm sorry. 664 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,935 - I'm just so attracted to you. - Laura...! 665 00:46:07,976 --> 00:46:11,313 You ever see the Statler Twins, Dave? 666 00:46:11,355 --> 00:46:15,108 Do I see them? No. They still live back in Michigan. 667 00:46:15,901 --> 00:46:17,986 You ever see any of the guys you beat up? 668 00:46:18,028 --> 00:46:19,738 Just curious. 669 00:46:19,780 --> 00:46:22,115 First of all, I didn't beat that many guys up. 670 00:46:22,157 --> 00:46:23,992 Second of all, no... 671 00:46:24,034 --> 00:46:26,870 I left Michigan after high school, and I haven't been back. 672 00:46:26,912 --> 00:46:28,747 Must be kinda weird to run into somebody 673 00:46:28,789 --> 00:46:31,792 20 years after you beat 'em up. Remember me? 674 00:46:31,875 --> 00:46:35,212 You broke my clavicle? You look good. 675 00:46:35,254 --> 00:46:39,675 I'm sorry, Diva. I'm really sorry. 676 00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:43,220 You should be. I'm really not into women. 677 00:46:44,721 --> 00:46:46,473 Me neither. 678 00:47:01,405 --> 00:47:04,616 Oh, my God... Oh, my God. 679 00:47:04,658 --> 00:47:07,327 Oh, my God... okay. 680 00:47:09,121 --> 00:47:11,957 Laura, I'm gonna go. 681 00:47:11,999 --> 00:47:14,960 I think that's the best thing in this situation. 682 00:47:15,002 --> 00:47:19,214 I'm gonna go. I'm straight... I am. 683 00:47:19,256 --> 00:47:22,384 I'm straight... I am. 684 00:47:22,426 --> 00:47:26,889 What we're talking about, we have ten lots we can obtain. 685 00:47:26,930 --> 00:47:31,059 These houses finished are at a million, million two... 686 00:47:31,101 --> 00:47:34,188 We have seven, seven and a quarter in some of the houses. 687 00:47:34,229 --> 00:47:36,690 Okay, I'm gonna say goodbye. 688 00:47:36,773 --> 00:47:38,233 Something wrong, Diva? 689 00:47:38,275 --> 00:47:40,402 No... 690 00:47:40,444 --> 00:47:42,571 I gotta be somewhere, I'm running really straight... 691 00:47:42,613 --> 00:47:46,742 late... I'm running really late. I'm gonna go. 692 00:47:50,412 --> 00:47:53,081 Just stay awhile. Marty...? 693 00:47:53,415 --> 00:47:54,875 Tell Diva not to go. 694 00:47:54,917 --> 00:47:59,254 Diva, don't go Bye... 695 00:47:59,296 --> 00:48:01,340 No... don't. Please stay. 696 00:48:01,381 --> 00:48:03,592 Laura, I have to go now. 697 00:48:03,634 --> 00:48:05,302 Let me walk you to the door. 698 00:48:05,344 --> 00:48:07,930 I know where the door is. 699 00:48:07,971 --> 00:48:11,642 I'll walk her to the door. 700 00:48:11,683 --> 00:48:15,312 - I'm sorry. - Honey, don't be silly. 701 00:48:15,354 --> 00:48:17,856 Really... You've got guests... 702 00:48:17,898 --> 00:48:19,983 I'll walk her to the door. 703 00:48:20,025 --> 00:48:21,944 You're in the middle of important business... 704 00:48:21,985 --> 00:48:24,780 I'll walk her to the door. Can I talk to you? 705 00:48:24,821 --> 00:48:28,575 Diva, don't go anywhere. Please. 706 00:48:28,617 --> 00:48:30,118 I just wanna talk to you before you go. 707 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,329 I won't go. 708 00:48:32,371 --> 00:48:34,164 Promise me you won't go. 709 00:48:34,206 --> 00:48:36,083 Let me hold your purse. 710 00:48:37,167 --> 00:48:39,795 - One minute... be right back. - Don't go, babe. 711 00:48:44,383 --> 00:48:47,511 - What's going on!? - Nothing. 712 00:48:47,553 --> 00:48:50,138 - I just want her to stay. - You want Diva to stay? 713 00:48:50,180 --> 00:48:52,933 I want us both to be with her tonight. 714 00:48:52,975 --> 00:48:55,394 You want us to be with Diva? 715 00:48:55,435 --> 00:48:57,688 Are you crazy? Do you have any idea... 716 00:48:57,729 --> 00:49:01,149 how important this brunch is to me? You've got to know. 717 00:49:01,191 --> 00:49:03,944 You've got to admit that she is foxy. 718 00:49:03,986 --> 00:49:07,781 She's foxy? What are you, K.D. Lang? Are you out of your mind? 719 00:49:07,823 --> 00:49:11,577 This will be good for us. I just want you to be happy... 720 00:49:11,618 --> 00:49:13,829 Don't touch me. You want me to be happy? 721 00:49:13,871 --> 00:49:15,747 - Yes. - Good. Listen... 722 00:49:15,789 --> 00:49:18,834 Let her go home, and you snap out of it. 723 00:49:18,876 --> 00:49:22,504 Honey, I know you think she 's fine. 724 00:49:22,546 --> 00:49:26,175 You're being a nutcase. Snap out of it. 725 00:49:29,678 --> 00:49:31,805 Billy, can you get Laura a bagel? 726 00:49:31,847 --> 00:49:32,514 I'm gonna walk Diva to the door. 727 00:49:32,556 --> 00:49:34,600 I'm gonna walk Diva... I... 728 00:49:40,856 --> 00:49:42,524 - Go sit down. - You let me in! 729 00:49:42,566 --> 00:49:44,401 Sit the fuck down! 730 00:49:44,443 --> 00:49:45,986 (snarling) 731 00:49:46,069 --> 00:49:48,113 Go...! 732 00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:57,456 - What's going on? - Nothing... 733 00:49:57,497 --> 00:49:59,666 Marty... did you ask your wife to hit on me? 734 00:49:59,708 --> 00:50:02,961 - No...! - Is that what's going on? 735 00:50:03,003 --> 00:50:05,881 Why would I do that? What am I, a deviate? 736 00:50:05,923 --> 00:50:07,466 Why would I ask my wife to hit on a woman...? 737 00:50:07,508 --> 00:50:10,302 Because she just did. She hit on me big time. 738 00:50:10,344 --> 00:50:13,096 Okay, so why do I get blamed? I had nothing to do with it. 739 00:50:13,138 --> 00:50:15,057 She did it on her own. 740 00:50:16,892 --> 00:50:19,728 - She did it on her own? - Yes. She's going through something. 741 00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:20,812 She's going throught something? 742 00:50:20,854 --> 00:50:22,314 She's having a breakdown or something. 743 00:50:22,356 --> 00:50:24,733 - A breakdown? - It's not a big deal. 744 00:50:24,775 --> 00:50:26,318 I'm just gonna say goodbye. 745 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,028 - I think I'm gonna talk to her... - No... 746 00:50:28,070 --> 00:50:31,532 Diva, no. Just gonna say goodbye. Thank you... Agggh! 747 00:50:31,573 --> 00:50:33,033 Didi!? 748 00:50:33,116 --> 00:50:34,993 I don't need to talk to you. I need to see Laura. 749 00:50:35,035 --> 00:50:36,203 No, wait, Didi...! 750 00:50:36,245 --> 00:50:40,082 Gotta make sure we own or have the rights to the lots... 751 00:50:40,123 --> 00:50:41,375 Wait...! 752 00:50:41,959 --> 00:50:46,964 Hi, Laura. I need to show you something. 753 00:50:47,005 --> 00:50:49,049 I'm sorry to barge in... Hi... 754 00:50:49,091 --> 00:50:51,677 - Hi, I'm Didi. - This is Didi. 755 00:50:51,718 --> 00:50:54,221 Dave and Evie Pembroke. Billy and Carol you know. 756 00:50:54,304 --> 00:50:55,973 This is our friend, Didi... 757 00:50:56,014 --> 00:51:01,270 who forgot her purse and has now located it. 758 00:51:01,311 --> 00:51:03,605 I'm gonna walk her to the door. 759 00:51:05,482 --> 00:51:10,279 This is a brochure on an arts fair and sympo-see-um in Monterrey. 760 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,156 A symposium? 761 00:51:13,198 --> 00:51:16,743 Dave, I'll be with you in a minute... 762 00:51:16,785 --> 00:51:18,579 Say goodbye, okay? 763 00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:20,956 Let go of my... you're being an asshole. 764 00:51:20,998 --> 00:51:23,458 I'm not being an asshole... 765 00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:25,919 Let go of me, pen dick. 766 00:51:25,961 --> 00:51:27,796 Join us, Didi. 767 00:51:27,838 --> 00:51:30,215 Honey, join us...? 768 00:51:30,257 --> 00:51:32,593 I don't understand why you're so upset. 769 00:51:32,634 --> 00:51:34,845 You're the one that wanted me to sleep with her. 770 00:51:34,887 --> 00:51:38,891 Why am I so upset? Because I think you single-handedly 771 00:51:38,932 --> 00:51:41,810 blew the Pembroke deal, Laura. That's why I'm so upset. 772 00:51:41,852 --> 00:51:45,814 I don't know what's gotten into you. Honestly, I don't know. 773 00:51:45,856 --> 00:51:47,399 What do you mean, what has gotten into me? 774 00:51:47,441 --> 00:51:49,568 Are you gay? Are you gay now? 775 00:51:49,610 --> 00:51:52,362 No, I am not gay... 776 00:51:52,404 --> 00:51:54,406 Are you bi? 777 00:51:54,448 --> 00:51:59,786 No... I don't know... I thought I knew, but now I don't. 778 00:52:01,914 --> 00:52:04,374 I was watching some of your moves the other night... 779 00:52:04,416 --> 00:52:06,460 It was like watching an old pro work. 780 00:52:06,543 --> 00:52:09,421 I thought I was at a Pavarotti concert for a minute. 781 00:52:09,463 --> 00:52:12,466 Have you been with Didi before? Tell the truth. 782 00:52:12,549 --> 00:52:15,802 No, I haven't. I haven't been with Didi before. 783 00:52:17,095 --> 00:52:21,183 Before two weeks ago, I had never slept with a woman. 784 00:52:21,225 --> 00:52:22,768 That's the truth. 785 00:52:22,809 --> 00:52:25,312 You wouldn't know that by watchin' you work. 786 00:52:26,396 --> 00:52:30,317 I know that... I know that, because... 787 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:33,737 It's... you know what it is? That "home court advantage" thing... 788 00:52:33,779 --> 00:52:38,742 I knew... you were gonna say that. Know how I knew? 789 00:52:38,784 --> 00:52:42,454 Ask me... you know how I knew? 790 00:52:42,496 --> 00:52:43,705 How do you know, Marty? 791 00:52:43,747 --> 00:52:46,375 Because I made the "home court advantage" thing up. 792 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:48,043 It's bullshit, and I made it up. 793 00:52:48,085 --> 00:52:50,045 - But it's true. It is true... - No, it's bullshit... 794 00:52:50,087 --> 00:52:52,297 Don't bullshit a bullshit artist. 795 00:52:52,339 --> 00:52:54,550 I'm telling you, it's true. 796 00:52:54,591 --> 00:52:57,678 It was like I knew exactly what to do to please Didi, 797 00:52:57,761 --> 00:53:01,431 And it was so... my God, it was so powerful, 798 00:53:01,473 --> 00:53:05,227 and it was nice, then - God - she did these things to me, 799 00:53:05,269 --> 00:53:08,397 and I thought I was just gonna melt and gyrate... 800 00:53:08,438 --> 00:53:11,525 I was there. I don't need to hear the minutes read back, okay? 801 00:53:11,567 --> 00:53:13,944 I was in the room. That was me... 802 00:53:13,986 --> 00:53:16,321 The guy with his thumb up his ass. That was me. 803 00:53:20,617 --> 00:53:23,412 - Marty? - Yeah? 804 00:53:23,453 --> 00:53:26,832 I need to leave early today. Donald and I are going to Big Bear 805 00:53:26,874 --> 00:53:31,211 to check out this banquet hall. There's a giant moose head 806 00:53:31,253 --> 00:53:33,964 he's convinced should be the centerpiece for our reception, 807 00:53:34,006 --> 00:53:36,049 I have to be there to tell him how wrong he is. 808 00:53:36,133 --> 00:53:40,679 - All right, take the day off. Listen, Diva... 809 00:53:40,721 --> 00:53:44,224 - About yesterday... - No, Marty, don't worry about it. 810 00:53:44,308 --> 00:53:46,268 It's cool. 811 00:54:09,499 --> 00:54:10,918 Laura? 812 00:54:13,795 --> 00:54:15,380 Laura? 813 00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:18,592 (squeaking and giggling) 814 00:54:18,634 --> 00:54:20,719 What...? 815 00:54:22,554 --> 00:54:26,767 Diva? I can't believe this. 816 00:54:26,808 --> 00:54:30,229 - Marty, don't be upset. - Don't be upset? What should I be? 817 00:54:30,270 --> 00:54:33,524 My wife and assistant are in bed together, what should I be? 818 00:54:33,565 --> 00:54:35,651 It's not like that. 819 00:54:35,692 --> 00:54:36,276 - Oh, it's not like that? - No... 820 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,989 What's it like? It is like that. You're screwing around on me. 821 00:54:41,031 --> 00:54:43,450 She's not screwing around on you, I promise. 822 00:54:43,492 --> 00:54:46,620 Diva, you lied, okay? You lied. 823 00:54:46,662 --> 00:54:48,205 You said you were going to look at a moose head, 824 00:54:48,247 --> 00:54:51,250 which I gotta say, is the exact opposite of what you're looking at. 825 00:54:51,291 --> 00:54:54,670 Marty, the showing got cancelled. I didn't lie to you. 826 00:54:54,711 --> 00:54:56,004 We decided not to go. 827 00:54:56,046 --> 00:54:58,507 Okay, good! Go back to work. 828 00:54:58,549 --> 00:55:02,261 Don't come here and burrow your head between my wife's legs. 829 00:55:02,302 --> 00:55:05,138 Marty? Why are you doing this? 830 00:55:05,180 --> 00:55:11,061 This... was for you. We are warming up for you. 831 00:55:11,103 --> 00:55:14,106 "Warming up"? Waiting for me? 832 00:55:14,147 --> 00:55:16,608 Yes, this was supposed to be a surprise, 833 00:55:16,650 --> 00:55:20,904 'cause I was planning a little three-way... for you. 834 00:55:20,946 --> 00:55:22,865 A surprise for me? 835 00:55:22,906 --> 00:55:25,659 Yes - so, come on in, babe. 836 00:55:25,701 --> 00:55:29,079 Laura, do you really think I'm gonna fall for that? 837 00:55:29,121 --> 00:55:31,707 (groaning and thumping) 838 00:55:36,461 --> 00:55:41,091 Okay... that was a good surprise three-way, we can stop. 839 00:55:46,388 --> 00:55:48,515 Okay, Laura, everyone's good and warmed up. 840 00:55:52,644 --> 00:55:54,438 Okay, Laura... 841 00:55:56,690 --> 00:56:00,694 How stupid do I look? "Warming up" for me...? 842 00:56:02,112 --> 00:56:05,741 Warming up for me? How stupid do I look, huh?! 843 00:56:08,577 --> 00:56:11,371 (Billy:) What's up? You seem a little low. 844 00:56:11,413 --> 00:56:14,374 (Marty:) Low? Yeah, I guess. 845 00:56:14,458 --> 00:56:18,003 - What's up? - Nothin'. 846 00:56:18,045 --> 00:56:19,421 Come on, what's goin' on? 847 00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:23,425 Laura and I... are going through something. 848 00:56:23,467 --> 00:56:26,136 What, is she sleeping with a woman? 849 00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:31,099 You guessed that? Who told you that? 850 00:56:31,141 --> 00:56:34,937 - You guessed that? - What, did I guess right? 851 00:56:34,978 --> 00:56:39,191 Wait a minute. Your wife, is sleeping with another woman? 852 00:56:40,359 --> 00:56:43,654 If you wanna get technical, she's sleeping with two women. 853 00:56:43,695 --> 00:56:46,698 Your wife is sleeping with a couple of women?! 854 00:56:46,740 --> 00:56:48,367 Wow. 855 00:56:48,408 --> 00:56:51,286 I begged and I pushed... 856 00:56:51,328 --> 00:56:54,122 and it happened. 857 00:56:54,164 --> 00:56:56,041 Good for you. 858 00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:57,793 Actually, it gets worse. 859 00:56:57,835 --> 00:56:59,294 You mean, it gets better. 860 00:56:59,336 --> 00:57:03,173 No... it gets worse. 861 00:57:03,215 --> 00:57:05,467 She's doing Diva. 862 00:57:06,510 --> 00:57:08,178 Diva? 863 00:57:08,220 --> 00:57:10,639 Your wife is sleeping with your assistant, Diva? 864 00:57:10,681 --> 00:57:12,266 Diva - Diva? 865 00:57:12,307 --> 00:57:14,935 Yes... yes. 866 00:57:14,977 --> 00:57:17,938 It's not funny, Murphy. It's not funny. 867 00:57:18,021 --> 00:57:21,358 Did she happen to mention if she was any good? 868 00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:23,569 It's not funny, Murphy! 869 00:57:23,610 --> 00:57:25,696 All right, I'm sorry. But, you know... 870 00:57:25,737 --> 00:57:28,282 it's a video I would definitely go and rent. 871 00:57:29,783 --> 00:57:32,828 So, Jane, how was your week? 872 00:57:32,870 --> 00:57:34,830 Eventful, I hope? 873 00:57:34,872 --> 00:57:37,666 Not as eventful as Laura's. 874 00:57:39,209 --> 00:57:43,130 You told her? I can't believe it. That's a breach. 875 00:57:43,213 --> 00:57:47,092 Honey, she's my best friend. I tell her everything. 876 00:57:47,134 --> 00:57:49,011 Apparently, you do. 877 00:57:49,052 --> 00:57:51,513 Are you gonna tell me you didn't tell Billy and Murphy? 878 00:57:51,555 --> 00:57:54,892 No, I didn't. Of course not. I wouldn't do that. 879 00:57:55,893 --> 00:57:58,020 - Did she tell you everything? - Oh, yeah. 880 00:57:58,061 --> 00:58:00,355 She tell you she seduced my assistant? 881 00:58:00,355 --> 00:58:03,358 - I love it. - You love it? 882 00:58:03,358 --> 00:58:06,195 Good, Jane, egg her on, that's good. 883 00:58:06,236 --> 00:58:08,530 After dinner, we'll go to the Forum, 884 00:58:08,572 --> 00:58:10,699 they're playing women's basketball tonight, 885 00:58:10,741 --> 00:58:14,203 she can just do the whole team. How's that? 886 00:58:14,244 --> 00:58:16,163 Just throw her in the locker room. 887 00:58:30,344 --> 00:58:34,097 Hey! Open up. Remember me? 888 00:58:34,139 --> 00:58:36,475 The guy barely paying the mortgage? Come on. 889 00:58:36,517 --> 00:58:38,936 (Laura:) Okay, I'm coming. Hold on. 890 00:58:41,146 --> 00:58:43,482 Why's the door locked? What are you doing? 891 00:58:43,524 --> 00:58:45,734 - Nothing. - You're alone...? 892 00:58:45,776 --> 00:58:48,529 You're in here alone? 893 00:58:48,570 --> 00:58:51,073 Yeah, I'm alone. 894 00:58:51,114 --> 00:58:53,534 Hi, Marty. 895 00:58:53,575 --> 00:58:55,827 Marty, don't be mad. 896 00:58:55,869 --> 00:58:57,913 Diva! Jane...! 897 00:58:57,955 --> 00:59:02,084 Hello, pen dick. Guess who brought the play toys? 898 00:59:02,125 --> 00:59:05,087 Laura...! 899 00:59:05,128 --> 00:59:07,714 Hey, Marty... 900 00:59:07,756 --> 00:59:11,385 don't be mad. It's just a little nightmare. 901 00:59:18,016 --> 00:59:20,561 You had a dream... that they had an orgy, 902 00:59:20,602 --> 00:59:21,937 and locked you out. 903 00:59:21,979 --> 00:59:25,274 Not a dream, a nightmare. 904 00:59:25,315 --> 00:59:27,734 Three incredible women, lying around, 905 00:59:27,776 --> 00:59:30,445 lapping up the little man in the canoe, 906 00:59:30,487 --> 00:59:32,197 where is the nightmare in that? 907 00:59:32,239 --> 00:59:34,449 The nightmare is, they want nothing to do with me. 908 00:59:34,491 --> 00:59:36,285 I was locked outside the door. 909 00:59:36,326 --> 00:59:39,079 That speaks of sexual inadequacy to me. 910 00:59:39,121 --> 00:59:39,872 Exactly. 911 00:59:39,913 --> 00:59:41,415 What are you talking about? 912 00:59:41,456 --> 00:59:43,542 It was your dream, all I'm sayin' is... 913 00:59:43,584 --> 00:59:45,460 if that were me, in that situation, 914 00:59:45,502 --> 00:59:48,088 and I found myself locked outside the bedroom door, 915 00:59:48,130 --> 00:59:50,090 with my schmekel in my mitt, 916 00:59:50,174 --> 00:59:52,342 I'd be thinking about sex therapy. That's all I'm sayin'. 917 00:59:57,097 --> 00:59:59,266 Are you mad, Marty? 918 00:59:59,308 --> 01:00:01,268 Don't be mad. 919 01:00:01,310 --> 01:00:03,645 Mad? I'm not mad, I'm worried. 920 01:00:03,645 --> 01:00:06,231 I'm justifiably worried. 921 01:00:06,273 --> 01:00:09,693 Honey, you shouldn't be. I'm just experimenting as a woman. 922 01:00:09,735 --> 01:00:12,487 - Really, it's nice. - Oh, that's nice... 923 01:00:12,487 --> 01:00:13,655 it's "nice". 924 01:00:13,697 --> 01:00:18,493 Obviously, I've been hiding things from you... from myself... 925 01:00:18,493 --> 01:00:24,208 It's gonna be okay. Either way, it's not a big deal, all right? 926 01:00:24,249 --> 01:00:26,502 Tomorrow I'm going to Vegas, and the drive... 927 01:00:26,502 --> 01:00:29,838 and the time away, will be good for me. Okay? 928 01:00:31,215 --> 01:00:32,799 You're going to Vegas with my sister. 929 01:00:32,841 --> 01:00:36,512 Listen, I'm beggin' you. This is my baby sister. 930 01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:39,014 - This is my baby sister. - Marty, stop it. 931 01:00:39,056 --> 01:00:41,266 - We go to Vegas every year... - This isn't every year! 932 01:00:41,308 --> 01:00:44,478 I am not going to disappoint her. Nothing is going to happen. 933 01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,396 Would you just relax? 934 01:00:46,438 --> 01:00:48,357 All set, Laura. 935 01:00:49,233 --> 01:00:51,276 I'm rarin' and ready to go. 936 01:00:51,318 --> 01:00:53,862 I am your prisoner for the next 24 hours. 937 01:00:53,904 --> 01:00:55,405 Just... do with me what you will. 938 01:00:55,447 --> 01:00:57,032 Oh, God... 939 01:00:57,074 --> 01:00:59,785 Listen to me, we need to postpone this, 940 01:00:59,826 --> 01:01:01,370 just till we get you professional help. 941 01:01:01,411 --> 01:01:03,247 I don't need professional help, Marty. 942 01:01:03,288 --> 01:01:06,250 Okay, I got a good compromise. Separate rooms, okay? 943 01:01:06,291 --> 01:01:10,087 On the far side of the hotel. 944 01:01:10,128 --> 01:01:12,005 You can be in the east wing, she can be in the west wing. 945 01:01:12,047 --> 01:01:14,174 You're on thin ice here, Laura, thin ice... 946 01:01:15,259 --> 01:01:16,552 - Laura, sweetie... - Bye. 947 01:01:16,552 --> 01:01:18,679 No, don't go! No, wait... 948 01:01:19,555 --> 01:01:21,181 Bye, Marty! 949 01:01:23,016 --> 01:01:26,144 Laura, don't you dare have sex with my baby sister! 950 01:01:54,715 --> 01:01:56,258 (knocking) 951 01:01:57,843 --> 01:02:00,387 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, Murphy. 952 01:02:00,470 --> 01:02:02,931 - Made myself a little sandwich. - No problem. 953 01:02:02,931 --> 01:02:04,057 Where's Laura? 954 01:02:04,141 --> 01:02:06,226 She's in Vegas with my sister. 955 01:02:08,145 --> 01:02:09,938 Is she diddling your sister? 956 01:02:11,648 --> 01:02:12,774 She is? 957 01:02:12,816 --> 01:02:14,193 I didn't say that. 958 01:02:14,234 --> 01:02:19,156 Your wife is diddling your sister...! 959 01:02:19,198 --> 01:02:21,074 Your wife is diddling your sister? 960 01:02:21,116 --> 01:02:24,620 Your wife - is diddling your sister?! 961 01:02:25,287 --> 01:02:26,955 That's great! 962 01:02:26,955 --> 01:02:28,874 Your wife is diddling your sister? 963 01:02:28,916 --> 01:02:32,503 Hey, who can blame her? Your sister's a hottie. 964 01:02:32,544 --> 01:02:35,088 Can I use your phone? I wanna call my wife, 965 01:02:35,130 --> 01:02:37,341 I'd like to set the two of them up for a little lunch. 966 01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:41,470 (car approaching) 967 01:02:41,512 --> 01:02:45,182 Ellen, baby... hi. Have fun? 968 01:02:45,224 --> 01:02:47,684 Look at this, you're dressed alike...? 969 01:02:48,769 --> 01:02:50,979 You're all happy, look at you, you're happy. 970 01:02:50,979 --> 01:02:54,191 You won? Is that what happened, you won? 971 01:02:54,233 --> 01:02:57,444 No? You lost, and you're all smiley 'cause you lost? 972 01:02:57,486 --> 01:02:59,780 Actually, we didn't gamble. 973 01:02:59,821 --> 01:03:01,615 No, no gambling. 974 01:03:01,657 --> 01:03:04,618 I'll see you soon. I had a wonderful time. 975 01:03:04,660 --> 01:03:05,786 So did I. Bye. 976 01:03:05,827 --> 01:03:09,122 Wonderful? What do you mean, "wonderful"? 977 01:03:09,164 --> 01:03:12,626 You saw shows? You went shopping... right? 978 01:03:12,668 --> 01:03:14,962 - No shows. - No shows...? 979 01:03:15,003 --> 01:03:18,465 Laura... tell me you didn't have sex with my sister. 980 01:03:18,507 --> 01:03:20,843 I didn't have sex with your sister. 981 01:03:20,884 --> 01:03:24,179 I mean, not like you're thinking. Not really. 982 01:03:24,221 --> 01:03:27,391 Not really? What does that mean, "not really"? 983 01:03:27,432 --> 01:03:29,893 How do you "not really" have sex with someone's sister? 984 01:03:29,935 --> 01:03:33,438 We talked, we held each other, and it was really nice. 985 01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:36,275 You know what? It's been so long since anybody's touched her. 986 01:03:36,316 --> 01:03:38,360 Don't tell me that. I don't wanna know that. 987 01:03:38,402 --> 01:03:42,322 Do you want breakfast? I'm gonna have a giant breakfast. 988 01:03:42,364 --> 01:03:44,741 This is becoming a nightmare with you. 989 01:03:44,783 --> 01:03:47,244 - No, it isn't. - Yes, it is. 990 01:03:47,286 --> 01:03:50,163 You're taking this the wrong way. I am feeling so great. 991 01:03:50,205 --> 01:03:51,540 Oh, good. 992 01:03:51,582 --> 01:03:52,749 This is going to be good for us. 993 01:03:52,791 --> 01:03:56,253 "Good for us"...? How is this going to be good for us?! 994 01:03:56,295 --> 01:03:59,089 You had sex with my sister! Hey... 995 01:03:59,131 --> 01:04:02,050 big family reunion coming, why don't you make a wish list? 996 01:04:02,092 --> 01:04:05,512 Well, that's it. I've blown it. 997 01:04:05,554 --> 01:04:08,557 Turned her into a sex monster. 998 01:04:08,599 --> 01:04:10,934 She's gonna leave me, too, Billy. I can feel it. 999 01:04:10,976 --> 01:04:13,604 You haven't blown it. She's not going anywhere. 1000 01:04:13,645 --> 01:04:16,190 So she likes girls, big deal. So do you. 1001 01:04:16,231 --> 01:04:18,317 Now you got something in common. 1002 01:04:18,358 --> 01:04:21,862 This is what you wanted. Relax. Enjoy it. 1003 01:04:21,904 --> 01:04:24,781 Easy for you to say, BIIly. It's not your wife. 1004 01:04:24,823 --> 01:04:28,118 If it was my wife, I'd be diggin' it. 1005 01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,412 But that ain't never gonna happen. 1006 01:04:30,454 --> 01:04:32,915 Carol's too damned hungry to bother having sex. 1007 01:04:56,647 --> 01:04:59,107 Hey, just spoke with Pembroke. 1008 01:04:59,149 --> 01:05:01,109 Got some pretty good news for ya... 1009 01:05:01,151 --> 01:05:04,279 - Guy sounds very interested... - Yeah? 1010 01:05:06,657 --> 01:05:08,534 What was that for? 1011 01:05:09,117 --> 01:05:11,537 That's for you and your wife's big mouth. 1012 01:05:13,872 --> 01:05:16,625 I'm sorry, honey. I did tell Carol 1013 01:05:16,667 --> 01:05:20,587 about what you told me about Billy's girlfriend. 1014 01:05:20,629 --> 01:05:22,339 I'm sorry. 1015 01:05:23,674 --> 01:05:27,135 I was in a weakened state, and we were talking, 1016 01:05:28,512 --> 01:05:30,597 she was vulnerable... 1017 01:05:30,681 --> 01:05:34,309 she was hungry and she needed someone to share a pizza with. 1018 01:05:34,351 --> 01:05:36,979 And not be judged for it. 1019 01:05:37,020 --> 01:05:40,482 She really needed me. Carol really needed me. 1020 01:05:40,482 --> 01:05:42,693 She did. 1021 01:05:44,403 --> 01:05:47,489 Hey, Marty, how's that hot little wife of yours? 1022 01:05:47,531 --> 01:05:49,575 Wouldn't mind gettin' me some of that action. 1023 01:05:51,743 --> 01:05:53,287 I'd bang your wife so hard, Marty, 1024 01:05:53,328 --> 01:05:55,789 you'd think a brass band was coming down the street. 1025 01:05:55,831 --> 01:05:59,209 Who's my bitch? I'd have her screaming,"Who's my bitch?" 1026 01:05:59,251 --> 01:06:01,795 I would go so far down on your wife, 1027 01:06:01,837 --> 01:06:04,506 you'd need a passport to get her out of Central America. 1028 01:06:04,548 --> 01:06:08,969 I was with your wife so long, I gotta put my tongue in a sling. 1029 01:06:09,011 --> 01:06:11,972 I'd chew her box like a fuckin' hamster. 1030 01:06:12,014 --> 01:06:13,807 Nng-nng-nyagh! 1031 01:06:27,362 --> 01:06:28,447 Hey, babe. 1032 01:06:28,488 --> 01:06:31,491 Dr. Berman called. He wants you to come right away. 1033 01:06:38,332 --> 01:06:41,835 Well, Marty, we found a polyp. 1034 01:06:43,462 --> 01:06:45,005 We need to take it out. 1035 01:06:45,547 --> 01:06:49,176 - Take it out? - Does that mean surgery? 1036 01:06:49,218 --> 01:06:52,888 We do it here, now, run a test and make sure it's benign. 1037 01:06:54,389 --> 01:06:55,974 Do it right here? 1038 01:06:56,391 --> 01:06:58,977 It's a very simple procedure, really. 1039 01:06:59,019 --> 01:07:02,898 Little prep work, one machine, works with lasers. 1040 01:07:02,940 --> 01:07:05,150 Nice machines. Made by Sony. 1041 01:07:05,192 --> 01:07:07,528 Sony? 1042 01:07:10,906 --> 01:07:13,534 So... did I tell ya I bought that Porsche Boxter? 1043 01:07:18,622 --> 01:07:22,751 Sweetie, wake up. Wake up, honey. 1044 01:07:22,793 --> 01:07:25,420 - You need to eat. - I'm not hungry, Laura. 1045 01:07:25,462 --> 01:07:28,048 You haven't eaten all day. Have a little soup. 1046 01:07:28,090 --> 01:07:29,758 I don't want any soup. 1047 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:32,511 Honey... here, let me help you up. 1048 01:07:33,595 --> 01:07:36,890 What? Why is it so important that I eat soup? 1049 01:07:36,932 --> 01:07:38,976 - What do you mean? - What'd you put in my soup? 1050 01:07:39,017 --> 01:07:40,936 - You put something in my soup? - Marty... 1051 01:07:40,936 --> 01:07:43,480 Is that it? Slip a little doozy in Marty's soup... 1052 01:07:43,522 --> 01:07:45,566 Send him off to all-boy heaven? 1053 01:07:45,607 --> 01:07:48,443 Move one of your little Bettys in, is that what's going on? 1054 01:07:48,443 --> 01:07:51,280 - You're delirious. - I'm not delirious, 1055 01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:55,242 not with everything that's going on. It's not far-fetched. 1056 01:07:55,284 --> 01:07:57,828 Perfect time. Blame it on the polyp. 1057 01:07:57,870 --> 01:07:59,621 How do I know you didn't put something in this soup? 1058 01:07:59,663 --> 01:08:01,790 You're being ridiculous, honey. 1059 01:08:01,832 --> 01:08:05,210 Would you like me to try the soup? 1060 01:08:05,252 --> 01:08:07,963 Yeah... you have the soup. 1061 01:08:15,971 --> 01:08:20,309 I'm sorry... I'm just wacked. I'm sorry. 1062 01:08:25,105 --> 01:08:27,566 Hey, I'm sorry. 1063 01:08:35,657 --> 01:08:37,743 It's good soup. 1064 01:09:10,859 --> 01:09:12,236 (ringing) 1065 01:09:13,987 --> 01:09:16,156 Hello? 1066 01:09:16,198 --> 01:09:18,033 Yeah, just a moment. 1067 01:09:25,332 --> 01:09:28,669 Honey... it's Dr. Berman. 1068 01:09:30,838 --> 01:09:34,049 - Hello? - Marty? Jerry Berman. 1069 01:09:34,091 --> 01:09:37,594 These calls go one of two ways. 1070 01:09:37,636 --> 01:09:41,056 This one's going your way, Marty. You're fine. 1071 01:09:41,098 --> 01:09:43,100 You should have a good life. 1072 01:09:43,141 --> 01:09:45,102 Give Laura my love... 1073 01:09:45,143 --> 01:09:47,062 and Marty, I gotta tell ya, I've known you a long time, 1074 01:09:47,104 --> 01:09:50,274 you're the biggest baby I've ever operated on. Ever. 1075 01:09:50,315 --> 01:09:52,818 I mean it. You're a wuss, Marty. 1076 01:09:52,860 --> 01:09:54,695 Okay, bye-bye. 1077 01:09:54,736 --> 01:09:56,113 Bye. 1078 01:09:57,197 --> 01:09:59,157 It's okay. 1079 01:10:09,877 --> 01:10:12,212 Marty? 1080 01:10:12,254 --> 01:10:14,423 I love you. 1081 01:10:15,340 --> 01:10:17,634 The scare was really good for me. 1082 01:10:17,676 --> 01:10:20,220 It made me realize how much I love you. 1083 01:10:20,262 --> 01:10:24,975 Lately, I've been thinking I was hiding this dark desire from you... 1084 01:10:25,017 --> 01:10:28,562 but, I haven't been. Not at all. 1085 01:10:28,604 --> 01:10:32,274 It's not what I want. I want what we have. 1086 01:10:32,274 --> 01:10:37,279 It's more important to me than having sex with women. 1087 01:10:37,321 --> 01:10:39,615 I only wanna be with you. 1088 01:10:39,656 --> 01:10:42,951 Really, that's what I figured out... 1089 01:10:42,951 --> 01:10:45,662 I just wanna have sex with you. 1090 01:10:45,704 --> 01:10:52,669 Thanks, Laura. I gotta tell you, I feel the same way. 1091 01:10:52,711 --> 01:10:54,755 A lot of sex, Marty. 1092 01:10:56,131 --> 01:11:00,594 A lot of sex...? Okay... good. 1093 01:11:00,636 --> 01:11:04,097 I wanna triple the amount of sex that we have. 1094 01:11:07,809 --> 01:11:10,103 You wanna triple the amount of sex we have? 1095 01:11:11,939 --> 01:11:14,274 It's a lot of sex. 1096 01:11:14,316 --> 01:11:16,068 Ow - ow, ow...! 1097 01:11:23,742 --> 01:11:25,285 Don't stop, don't stop. 1098 01:11:28,455 --> 01:11:30,415 Was that okay? 1099 01:11:30,457 --> 01:11:33,335 You could do better. 1100 01:11:35,045 --> 01:11:37,506 I'm ready again, Marty. Wake up. 1101 01:11:37,506 --> 01:11:39,925 Aggh - gentle, babe...! Gentle...! 1102 01:11:39,967 --> 01:11:42,261 Come on... up-up-up! 1103 01:11:49,393 --> 01:11:51,353 It's playtime! 1104 01:11:56,817 --> 01:11:58,569 (car horn tootling) 1105 01:12:06,076 --> 01:12:07,744 Oh, shit, it's the Pembrokes. 1106 01:12:08,787 --> 01:12:11,498 - Hey, Dave. - Hey, Marty, how ya doin'? 1107 01:12:11,540 --> 01:12:13,083 - Doin' good. - Sorry to just drop by... 1108 01:12:13,125 --> 01:12:15,043 but we were in the neighborhood. 1109 01:12:15,043 --> 01:12:17,004 I thought you might show us that house. 1110 01:12:17,045 --> 01:12:20,215 Definitely. Let me tell Laura that I'm gonna go. 1111 01:12:20,257 --> 01:12:23,635 Bring her. I have a feeling I'll need some company. 1112 01:12:48,076 --> 01:12:51,747 - Marty, you okay? - I'm fine. 1113 01:12:51,747 --> 01:12:54,541 Every bedroom has it's own balcony. 1114 01:12:54,583 --> 01:12:57,544 First class windows, everything high end... 1115 01:12:57,586 --> 01:13:01,173 Everything. We get the best of everything. 1116 01:13:01,215 --> 01:13:03,258 Marty, this is a hell of a house. 1117 01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:05,385 This kid is a real talent. 1118 01:13:05,427 --> 01:13:07,221 Yes, he is, he's very talented. 1119 01:13:07,262 --> 01:13:12,476 He's lucky he's got a strong partner, this was not easy... 1120 01:13:12,518 --> 01:13:14,978 I am very impressed with this kid's work. 1121 01:13:15,020 --> 01:13:18,482 I'm glad. We put a lot of work into it. 1122 01:13:20,567 --> 01:13:22,611 So, do you really dislike L.A.? 1123 01:13:22,653 --> 01:13:26,990 No. Dave does. When you stay married long enough... 1124 01:13:27,032 --> 01:13:31,495 you have to think hard which opinions are your own. 1125 01:13:31,537 --> 01:13:34,081 Yeah, I find myself doing that. 1126 01:13:34,122 --> 01:13:37,960 Grafting onto Marty's likes and dislikes. 1127 01:13:38,001 --> 01:13:42,422 I hate to admit, being with Dave has really changed me. 1128 01:13:42,464 --> 01:13:45,050 I used to be a Democrat. 1129 01:13:45,092 --> 01:13:49,805 He turned me into a Republican. They can do that. 1130 01:13:49,805 --> 01:13:53,976 Before Dave, I was actually a bit of a liberal. 1131 01:13:54,017 --> 01:13:55,978 What's this room in here? 1132 01:13:56,019 --> 01:14:02,234 This room is gonna be... this is the... 1133 01:14:02,276 --> 01:14:06,154 I don't know. He's gonna be here, we'll ask him. 1134 01:14:07,865 --> 01:14:10,701 Evie wants to have lunch. 1135 01:14:10,742 --> 01:14:13,245 Lunch with you and Evie? You think that's a good idea? 1136 01:14:13,287 --> 01:14:15,622 What are you talking about? 1137 01:14:15,664 --> 01:14:17,749 Her husband is my only serious silent investor... 1138 01:14:17,791 --> 01:14:20,794 and you have the sexual self-control of a 52-year-old senator. 1139 01:14:20,836 --> 01:14:23,505 - You tell me. - Thank you very much, honey. 1140 01:14:24,381 --> 01:14:28,385 Oh, damn, I got a parking ticket. Goddamn parking ticket. 1141 01:14:28,427 --> 01:14:30,846 Honey, calm down. It's just a parking ticket. 1142 01:14:30,846 --> 01:14:34,266 It's not a parking ticket. It's God fucking with me. 1143 01:14:34,308 --> 01:14:37,853 First, he sends parking tickets, then drought and famine. 1144 01:14:40,022 --> 01:14:42,900 No, he's not in either. 1145 01:14:42,941 --> 01:14:47,196 I asked Romberg, he gave me the "money is tight" speech. 1146 01:14:47,196 --> 01:14:50,157 I'll figure it out. All right... 1147 01:14:50,199 --> 01:14:51,909 Bye. 1148 01:14:58,582 --> 01:15:01,418 I've been thinking about it. You think she really likes you? 1149 01:15:01,460 --> 01:15:03,504 Evie Pembroke? 1150 01:15:03,545 --> 01:15:05,130 Yeah, I think she likes me. 1151 01:15:05,172 --> 01:15:07,966 I know this is gonna piss you off... 1152 01:15:08,008 --> 01:15:11,386 this is gonna sound bad, but I think you should pursue it. 1153 01:15:11,428 --> 01:15:14,056 Marty...? 1154 01:15:14,097 --> 01:15:15,933 Are you asking me to have sex with Evie? 1155 01:15:15,974 --> 01:15:19,478 No, I'm not ask... no. 1156 01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:21,897 I'm asking you to do your little pizza gag, 1157 01:15:21,897 --> 01:15:25,192 do your little rap on her, you know, get cozy... 1158 01:15:25,234 --> 01:15:29,071 Excuse me, I don't have a "rap", and I resent this. 1159 01:15:29,071 --> 01:15:32,658 I'm just asking you to get a litle friendly with the woman, 1160 01:15:32,699 --> 01:15:35,702 get to know her, talk her into talking her husband... 1161 01:15:35,744 --> 01:15:38,080 into investing in my project, okay? 1162 01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:41,875 It's a favor I'm asking, to keep this house, our lifestyle, 1163 01:15:41,917 --> 01:15:45,254 I need you to go in for one last strategic hit. 1164 01:15:49,216 --> 01:15:50,759 What? 1165 01:15:51,927 --> 01:15:54,096 Wasn't such a big goddamn deal when you were chasing my sister 1166 01:15:54,096 --> 01:15:56,515 around the Wayne Newton Suite. 1167 01:15:59,059 --> 01:16:00,811 Laura...! 1168 01:16:00,853 --> 01:16:04,982 These are so great, you really are talented. 1169 01:16:05,023 --> 01:16:08,902 Thank you. Marty made all my shelves. 1170 01:16:08,944 --> 01:16:11,280 I love this little guy. 1171 01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:14,700 That's my dad. That's my father. 1172 01:16:14,741 --> 01:16:15,450 Really? 1173 01:16:15,492 --> 01:16:17,703 I didn't know you knew my father. 1174 01:16:17,744 --> 01:16:21,874 Laura, I really, really love your work. 1175 01:16:21,915 --> 01:16:25,502 It's so... warm. 1176 01:16:25,544 --> 01:16:26,962 Thank you. 1177 01:16:26,962 --> 01:16:28,964 I didn't know you did women. 1178 01:16:29,006 --> 01:16:32,593 I... don't, really... 1179 01:16:32,634 --> 01:16:34,386 I tried a few. 1180 01:16:35,387 --> 01:16:38,056 Looks like you have a feel for them. 1181 01:16:38,098 --> 01:16:40,475 Do you like it? 1182 01:16:40,517 --> 01:16:44,354 I think I figured out... that I preferred doing men. 1183 01:16:46,899 --> 01:16:48,817 That's a shame. 1184 01:16:49,818 --> 01:16:53,655 Look at you... You're blushing. 1185 01:16:53,655 --> 01:16:56,200 - Am I? - You're bright red... 1186 01:16:56,241 --> 01:16:57,993 I really don't think we should be doing this. 1187 01:16:58,035 --> 01:16:59,286 Yes, we should... 1188 01:16:59,328 --> 01:17:01,079 I really don't... 1189 01:17:01,121 --> 01:17:02,956 Yes. We should. 1190 01:17:02,998 --> 01:17:04,833 I thought you were against this? 1191 01:17:04,833 --> 01:17:07,169 Me? No... Dave is. 1192 01:17:07,211 --> 01:17:09,838 - Dave is? - Let go. 1193 01:17:11,298 --> 01:17:14,510 I'm the opposite of Dave. Dave is square. 1194 01:17:14,510 --> 01:17:16,803 I am the opposite of square. 1195 01:17:16,845 --> 01:17:19,723 You're the opposite of square? 1196 01:17:19,765 --> 01:17:23,936 The first night I met you, I picked up on your energy. 1197 01:17:23,977 --> 01:17:26,355 I've got an eye and an ear for it. 1198 01:17:26,355 --> 01:17:28,941 I can pick 'em out in a crowd. 1199 01:17:28,982 --> 01:17:33,904 Straight little wife with a straight little life. 1200 01:17:33,946 --> 01:17:36,740 You're so pent up, aren't you? 1201 01:17:37,199 --> 01:17:40,369 It's okay. You're about ready to let the dam burst. 1202 01:17:40,410 --> 01:17:43,455 I think I kinda like the dam. 1203 01:17:43,497 --> 01:17:45,874 I'm not sure I wanna see it burst. 1204 01:17:45,874 --> 01:17:48,001 I've gotta go. 1205 01:17:48,043 --> 01:17:52,089 We'll continue this conversation another time. 1206 01:17:56,885 --> 01:17:59,638 Hey, how you doin', man? Listen... 1207 01:18:00,931 --> 01:18:03,058 I'm kidding. I was joking. 1208 01:18:03,100 --> 01:18:06,854 Hey... she looks great. Hi, Carol. 1209 01:18:06,895 --> 01:18:08,647 (Billy:) I don't know what your wife did to her, 1210 01:18:08,689 --> 01:18:14,361 but she's a whole different animal. She's on a diet, she's into sex, 1211 01:18:14,403 --> 01:18:15,737 So things worked out, right? Friends again? 1212 01:18:17,072 --> 01:18:18,073 No. 1213 01:18:18,115 --> 01:18:22,619 I know why you told her. You think you're better than me. 1214 01:18:22,661 --> 01:18:26,206 Because you think you don't cheat behind your wife's back... 1215 01:18:26,248 --> 01:18:27,916 because you cheat in front of her face, 1216 01:18:27,958 --> 01:18:31,420 you've found this high moral ground where you can judge me from. 1217 01:18:31,461 --> 01:18:33,755 - That's not true, Billy. - It is true. 1218 01:18:33,755 --> 01:18:34,256 It isn't... 1219 01:18:34,298 --> 01:18:36,717 It is, and you know it. And you're wrong. 1220 01:18:36,758 --> 01:18:40,554 You can be in the same bed with your wife and be cheating on her. 1221 01:18:40,596 --> 01:18:43,515 - You're in big trouble with God. - Don't say that. 1222 01:18:43,557 --> 01:18:47,436 I'm gonna finish the house, we'll sell it... 1223 01:18:47,436 --> 01:18:49,521 You'll get your money back, then, you know what? 1224 01:18:49,563 --> 01:18:52,691 We're done. I mean it. We're done. 1225 01:18:52,733 --> 01:18:54,568 Fine. I got it. 1226 01:18:54,610 --> 01:18:59,615 I don't like you. I don't trust you. 1227 01:18:59,656 --> 01:19:01,241 I got it. 1228 01:19:01,283 --> 01:19:06,163 I just realized that you're not my kinda guy. 1229 01:19:06,205 --> 01:19:09,249 Hey - I got it. I got it. 1230 01:19:09,291 --> 01:19:11,710 I got it. 1231 01:19:14,713 --> 01:19:16,256 I got it. 1232 01:19:24,598 --> 01:19:26,517 Evie...! Hi. 1233 01:19:28,519 --> 01:19:30,437 I was just going shopping. You wanna join me? 1234 01:19:30,479 --> 01:19:33,815 Shopping? No, no... 1235 01:19:33,857 --> 01:19:37,236 I've already done my shopping. I'm here to close a sale. 1236 01:19:37,277 --> 01:19:39,947 Close a sale? 1237 01:19:39,988 --> 01:19:43,242 - I'm going inside. - You're going inside? 1238 01:19:43,283 --> 01:19:48,163 Inside, upstairs, I'm gonna wait for you in the bedroom. 1239 01:19:48,163 --> 01:19:49,581 Wait for me? 1240 01:19:49,623 --> 01:19:53,001 I don't have a lotta time. It's my Cub Scout pickup day. 1241 01:19:53,001 --> 01:19:55,254 Come on, come on... quickly. 1242 01:19:56,338 --> 01:19:58,465 Wait for me upstairs...? 1243 01:20:04,054 --> 01:20:06,139 Door's locked. 1244 01:20:08,350 --> 01:20:10,978 Billy? It's for you. 1245 01:20:17,359 --> 01:20:19,027 - This is Billy. - This is Pembroke... 1246 01:20:19,069 --> 01:20:21,029 Where's your partner? I got a check for him. 1247 01:20:21,071 --> 01:20:24,074 I'm in with you guys, I just wanna go over a few things. 1248 01:20:24,116 --> 01:20:26,410 I don't know. I think he went home. 1249 01:20:26,451 --> 01:20:28,996 I'll head over there. I'll talk to you soon. 1250 01:20:29,037 --> 01:20:30,539 All right. 1251 01:20:45,095 --> 01:20:46,388 Hey... 1252 01:20:51,143 --> 01:20:53,896 you wanna have some real fun? 1253 01:20:53,896 --> 01:20:55,814 More fun than this? 1254 01:21:02,779 --> 01:21:05,073 Those are Marty's favorite ties... 1255 01:21:05,073 --> 01:21:08,118 Aw, poor Marty. 1256 01:21:08,160 --> 01:21:10,245 To hell with Marty! 1257 01:21:10,287 --> 01:21:12,748 I want you to tie me up. 1258 01:21:12,789 --> 01:21:15,876 Now, push me down! Push me hard. 1259 01:21:25,552 --> 01:21:29,348 There you go... tied up and gagged. What's next? 1260 01:21:29,389 --> 01:21:31,350 (garbled) 1261 01:21:34,770 --> 01:21:36,146 The pillow...? 1262 01:21:39,525 --> 01:21:42,444 Evie, you're starting to scare me now. 1263 01:21:46,198 --> 01:21:47,950 Laura? 1264 01:21:49,952 --> 01:21:51,411 Laura? 1265 01:21:57,334 --> 01:21:59,378 - Oh, shit! - Marty...! 1266 01:21:59,419 --> 01:22:00,963 Are you kiddin' me?! 1267 01:22:06,176 --> 01:22:08,929 Marty... don't be mad. 1268 01:22:08,971 --> 01:22:12,182 Don't be mad. You were the one, you told me... 1269 01:22:12,224 --> 01:22:15,727 I was, what? "The one", what? I told you to tie her up?! 1270 01:22:15,769 --> 01:22:20,148 You've got Dave Pembroke's wife tied up in our bedroom! 1271 01:22:20,190 --> 01:22:22,568 Have you lost touch with reality?! 1272 01:22:22,609 --> 01:22:26,572 Marty... you started all of this. You. 1273 01:22:26,613 --> 01:22:27,698 - Me...? - Yes. 1274 01:22:27,739 --> 01:22:31,910 I said, "get chummy with her." I didn't ask to take her hostage. 1275 01:22:31,952 --> 01:22:33,662 Oh, my God! 1276 01:22:33,704 --> 01:22:36,790 You made me open certain doors that I shouldn't have opened. 1277 01:22:36,832 --> 01:22:38,876 What are you talking about? 1278 01:22:38,917 --> 01:22:40,878 You know exactly what I'm talking about. 1279 01:22:40,919 --> 01:22:43,839 - This is what you wanted. - What I wanted? 1280 01:22:43,839 --> 01:22:47,926 I wanted you to tie up Evie Pembroke in our bedroom? 1281 01:22:47,968 --> 01:22:51,930 You wanted me to be... you know! 1282 01:22:51,972 --> 01:22:54,474 What? I wanted you to try a few things. 1283 01:22:54,516 --> 01:22:57,477 I wanted you to fool around a little. Is that so bad? 1284 01:22:57,519 --> 01:23:00,480 I didn't want you to become a walking orgasm! 1285 01:23:00,522 --> 01:23:02,858 Jesus, you've taken the whole thing way too far! 1286 01:23:02,900 --> 01:23:04,818 No, I haven't. Don't you say that. 1287 01:23:04,860 --> 01:23:06,987 - Yes, you have. - Don't you say that! 1288 01:23:09,031 --> 01:23:12,367 Listen to me. You've taken the whole thing way too far. 1289 01:23:12,367 --> 01:23:14,703 You're tying women up, and you're gagging them, now. 1290 01:23:14,703 --> 01:23:16,538 That's too far. What's next... 1291 01:23:16,538 --> 01:23:20,000 I'm gonna come home and you'll be performing surgery on some girl! 1292 01:23:20,042 --> 01:23:22,669 It is not like that. 1293 01:23:22,711 --> 01:23:24,505 This is your fault. I was happy... 1294 01:23:24,546 --> 01:23:26,924 I was happy just being your wife! 1295 01:23:26,965 --> 01:23:31,470 Oh, Laura, will you just calm dowm? 1296 01:23:33,388 --> 01:23:36,225 If you had all this in you, it was gonna come out sooner or later. 1297 01:23:38,018 --> 01:23:40,395 Maybe, maybe not. 1298 01:23:40,437 --> 01:23:43,732 Maybe I didn't want the dam to burst. Ever think about that? 1299 01:23:43,774 --> 01:23:45,359 What "dam"? What are you talking about? 1300 01:23:45,400 --> 01:23:47,236 You burst the dam, Marty. 1301 01:23:47,277 --> 01:23:48,946 What fuckin' "dam"? 1302 01:23:48,987 --> 01:23:51,823 - This is all your doing. - My doing? 1303 01:23:51,865 --> 01:23:55,244 You tied that woman up in there. Not me... you. 1304 01:24:09,258 --> 01:24:12,803 - She's tied up with my Hugo Boss ties? - She picked the ties. 1305 01:24:12,845 --> 01:24:14,596 Oh... she has taste. That's good to know. 1306 01:24:14,596 --> 01:24:15,931 (doorbell rings) 1307 01:24:15,931 --> 01:24:17,891 - Who's this? - I don't know. 1308 01:24:17,933 --> 01:24:19,142 Well, go find out. 1309 01:24:22,437 --> 01:24:23,814 (gasping) 1310 01:24:27,317 --> 01:24:28,527 - Marty! - What? 1311 01:24:28,569 --> 01:24:30,445 It's Dave! 1312 01:24:30,445 --> 01:24:33,282 He's here? Dave?! 1313 01:24:35,325 --> 01:24:37,286 - Why's he here? - I don't know. 1314 01:24:42,374 --> 01:24:43,625 He is here. 1315 01:24:43,625 --> 01:24:46,753 What do we do? 1316 01:24:46,795 --> 01:24:48,547 Act natural. 1317 01:24:49,298 --> 01:24:52,176 No... that's semi-natural. 1318 01:24:52,217 --> 01:24:54,636 Yes... whatever... do it over there. 1319 01:25:03,770 --> 01:25:05,272 Hey, Dave, how ya doin', Dave...? 1320 01:25:05,314 --> 01:25:08,317 Hey... hey, Dave... Hey, Dave...! 1321 01:25:10,527 --> 01:25:13,322 Hey, Dave! How, ya doin'? Come out to the yard... 1322 01:25:13,322 --> 01:25:15,574 - Where's my wife? - Your wife? I don't know... 1323 01:25:15,616 --> 01:25:18,452 You wanna go down to the corner, get a drink, talk about the project? 1324 01:25:18,493 --> 01:25:21,663 - No... her car's here. - Her car's here...? 1325 01:25:21,663 --> 01:25:23,999 - Hi, Laura. - Hey, Dave, how ya doin'? 1326 01:25:23,999 --> 01:25:26,376 Where's Evie? 1327 01:25:26,418 --> 01:25:27,669 She's not here... 1328 01:25:27,711 --> 01:25:29,755 No, she's not here... no. 1329 01:25:29,796 --> 01:25:32,591 Her car's here. Any idea why her car would be here? 1330 01:25:32,633 --> 01:25:35,093 Her car is here? Wow... 1331 01:25:35,135 --> 01:25:37,471 I'm not a car person, so I wouldn't know. 1332 01:25:37,513 --> 01:25:39,181 She's never been a car person. 1333 01:25:39,181 --> 01:25:41,558 You're not a "car person"? 1334 01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:44,645 Dave, let's go in the yard, and have a drink... 1335 01:25:44,686 --> 01:25:47,105 I don't wanna drink, Marty, I need to find my wife. 1336 01:25:47,147 --> 01:25:48,690 (doorbell rings) 1337 01:25:48,732 --> 01:25:51,193 - Maybe that's her. - No, it's not her. 1338 01:25:51,235 --> 01:25:52,986 Honey, you don't know that it's not her. 1339 01:25:53,028 --> 01:25:55,030 - I don't? - He doesn't? 1340 01:25:55,072 --> 01:25:58,867 I don't... I couldn't know. There's no way I'd know it's not her. 1341 01:25:58,867 --> 01:26:02,663 But I'll check and I'll see. I'll get the door. 1342 01:26:02,704 --> 01:26:04,540 Go in the yard, okay, buddy? 1343 01:26:04,540 --> 01:26:06,375 Yeah, come in... the yard. 1344 01:26:07,876 --> 01:26:11,588 Didi... bad time. Laura's not here. 1345 01:26:11,630 --> 01:26:14,424 Marty wait, I have to talk to Laura. 1346 01:26:14,466 --> 01:26:16,343 I want to take her to the sculpture sympo-see-um. 1347 01:26:16,385 --> 01:26:17,886 I really think it would be good for her. 1348 01:26:17,928 --> 01:26:20,472 Laura's not here, and I'm in the middle of something. 1349 01:26:20,514 --> 01:26:21,890 You have to go. 1350 01:26:21,890 --> 01:26:24,601 Her car is here, I know she's here. What is your problem? 1351 01:26:24,643 --> 01:26:27,688 Didi, don't take this wrong... 1352 01:26:27,729 --> 01:26:30,107 but Laura does not want to be part of your little club. 1353 01:26:30,148 --> 01:26:31,984 My "little club"? 1354 01:26:32,025 --> 01:26:35,612 Yes. She had a trial membership, and we're not gonna renew. 1355 01:26:35,654 --> 01:26:37,489 "A trial membership"? 1356 01:26:37,531 --> 01:26:39,950 ...And I have to go. 1357 01:26:39,992 --> 01:26:41,952 It's not about you, no offense, 1358 01:26:41,994 --> 01:26:44,746 but we're not gonna renew the membership. 1359 01:26:44,746 --> 01:26:47,207 What's the deal with Marty? 1360 01:26:47,249 --> 01:26:50,377 We just bought a new espresso machine, 1361 01:26:50,419 --> 01:26:53,130 and he just had... whoa... way too much. 1362 01:26:53,172 --> 01:26:55,215 I'm gonna say goodbye. 1363 01:26:55,257 --> 01:26:57,968 All you guys think you know so much about lesbians... 1364 01:26:58,010 --> 01:27:00,596 you think you're so into lesbians, but you're not. 1365 01:27:00,637 --> 01:27:03,182 You are into what you wish lesbians were... 1366 01:27:03,223 --> 01:27:05,851 cock-hungry nyphos, keeping themselves busy 1367 01:27:05,893 --> 01:27:11,023 until a real man hits town. That's not the reality. 1368 01:27:11,064 --> 01:27:12,858 Quickly, what's the reality? I gotta go. 1369 01:27:12,900 --> 01:27:15,944 The reality is, that you pushed, and you pushed, 1370 01:27:15,986 --> 01:27:18,739 and now your wife eats pussy better than you do. 1371 01:27:18,780 --> 01:27:20,449 Have a nice day. 1372 01:27:24,703 --> 01:27:27,831 Honey...? 1373 01:27:27,873 --> 01:27:30,167 That have anything to do with Evie? 1374 01:27:30,209 --> 01:27:32,461 - Wasn't Evie? - No... 1375 01:27:32,461 --> 01:27:34,296 Someone about a "sympo-see-um". 1376 01:27:34,338 --> 01:27:37,508 - A "sympo-see-um"? - Yeah, a "sympo-see-um". 1377 01:27:37,549 --> 01:27:39,551 A "sympo-see-um"? 1378 01:27:39,593 --> 01:27:42,513 Yeah...! Yeah, Dave... 1379 01:27:42,554 --> 01:27:44,097 What the hell is going on here, Marty? 1380 01:27:44,139 --> 01:27:46,016 Let's go get a drink... 1381 01:27:46,058 --> 01:27:48,602 I'm going stir crazy. I gotta get out of the house... 1382 01:27:48,644 --> 01:27:50,437 (mumbling) 1383 01:27:50,479 --> 01:27:51,813 What's that? 1384 01:27:52,648 --> 01:27:54,525 - Our dog... - Sounds like Evie. 1385 01:27:54,566 --> 01:27:56,485 It's our new dog. A barking terrier. 1386 01:27:56,485 --> 01:27:59,279 Is that Evie? Evie...? 1387 01:27:59,321 --> 01:28:01,198 Evie...! 1388 01:28:02,950 --> 01:28:04,409 (distressed cry) 1389 01:28:05,577 --> 01:28:07,412 Evie! 1390 01:28:10,832 --> 01:28:14,670 Holy mother of God! Evie...! 1391 01:28:14,711 --> 01:28:15,963 Dave, I had nothing to do with this. 1392 01:28:16,004 --> 01:28:17,840 I came in, saw the same thing, and went, "Aggh!" 1393 01:28:17,881 --> 01:28:20,634 Son of a bitch! You pervert! 1394 01:28:20,676 --> 01:28:22,177 (Evie squealing) 1395 01:28:22,219 --> 01:28:24,888 You're fucking dead! 1396 01:28:24,930 --> 01:28:27,224 No, no, Dave...! 1397 01:28:27,266 --> 01:28:30,394 You are a dead man, Marty! 1398 01:28:47,035 --> 01:28:49,329 Was it worth it, Marty? 'Cause you are gonna die! 1399 01:28:52,416 --> 01:28:54,877 Just stop it! Are you all okay, Marty? 1400 01:28:54,918 --> 01:28:57,045 No, I'm not okay! Do I look okay to you? 1401 01:28:59,047 --> 01:29:01,633 You are a dead man, Marty. 1402 01:29:01,675 --> 01:29:03,886 Don't hurt him. No, no, it was me... 1403 01:29:03,927 --> 01:29:06,221 I tied Evie up! 1404 01:29:06,221 --> 01:29:08,849 - You tied my wife up? - Yes...! 1405 01:29:08,891 --> 01:29:11,226 She didn't wanna do it! 1406 01:29:11,268 --> 01:29:12,728 It was me! 1407 01:29:12,769 --> 01:29:14,646 I didn't want to, she seduced me. 1408 01:29:14,688 --> 01:29:16,648 I swear, I swear. 1409 01:29:16,690 --> 01:29:19,026 Laura didn't wanna tie her up. Evie seduced her. 1410 01:29:19,067 --> 01:29:21,445 It's true, Dave. It's true. 1411 01:29:21,486 --> 01:29:23,488 I wasn't gonna sleep with any more women. 1412 01:29:23,530 --> 01:29:25,157 At least, not for a while, anyway. 1413 01:29:25,199 --> 01:29:26,867 Okay, good. Conversation for another time...? 1414 01:29:26,909 --> 01:29:29,036 Dave... listen... 1415 01:29:30,621 --> 01:29:33,415 I'm a stand-up guy. I would not tie your wife up. 1416 01:29:33,415 --> 01:29:34,875 I wouldn't. I've known you a long time... 1417 01:29:34,917 --> 01:29:38,212 I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship. 1418 01:29:38,253 --> 01:29:40,088 What the hell is your deal, man? 1419 01:29:40,130 --> 01:29:42,382 Married to some weird L.A. Sex freak? Is that your thing? 1420 01:29:42,424 --> 01:29:45,052 Dave... don't call Laura names. 1421 01:29:45,093 --> 01:29:47,012 What should I call her? That's what she is... 1422 01:29:47,054 --> 01:29:49,056 she's got my wife tied and gagged up there. 1423 01:29:49,097 --> 01:29:50,891 What should I call her? 1424 01:29:50,933 --> 01:29:52,935 You're married to a deviate L.A. Sex twat. 1425 01:29:52,976 --> 01:29:58,148 Dave, screw you. Don't call Laura names. I mean it. 1426 01:29:58,190 --> 01:29:59,608 Screw you, Marty! 1427 01:29:59,650 --> 01:30:02,486 You're way overreacting, I'm the one that should be pissed off. 1428 01:30:02,528 --> 01:30:04,112 You're overreacting, "Sunscreen". 1429 01:30:04,154 --> 01:30:07,783 I mean it. Take your Orange County weatherbeaten ass... 1430 01:30:07,824 --> 01:30:11,203 go get your drip-dry, grisly, whacked-out excuse for a wife, 1431 01:30:11,245 --> 01:30:13,372 and get the hell out of here. I'm serious. 1432 01:30:13,413 --> 01:30:16,834 I mean it. You're a Republican. This is a No Republican Zone. 1433 01:30:16,875 --> 01:30:19,920 You're messin' up my property values. 1434 01:30:19,962 --> 01:30:21,088 Yeah. 1435 01:30:22,673 --> 01:30:24,591 Take off, Dave. 1436 01:30:26,635 --> 01:30:29,847 Aw, the hell with it. To hell with you... 1437 01:30:29,888 --> 01:30:31,306 and to hell with her. 1438 01:30:31,348 --> 01:30:32,975 The hell with you! 1439 01:30:33,016 --> 01:30:35,269 Okay, Laura, he gets the message. 1440 01:30:37,020 --> 01:30:39,314 Don't be surprised when you get a bill for cleaning and pressing 1441 01:30:39,356 --> 01:30:41,859 four Hugo Boss ties, okay, Pembroke? 1442 01:30:45,487 --> 01:30:48,615 Oh, good, kick my gate, Millionaire. That'll help. 1443 01:30:51,702 --> 01:30:53,620 Shit... that didn't go well. 1444 01:30:55,205 --> 01:30:57,040 It was nice what you did, though. Thanks. 1445 01:30:57,082 --> 01:31:00,377 You're welcome. I gotta pay the mortgage, though. 1446 01:31:03,881 --> 01:31:06,216 I think we're this close to violating a federal law of some kind. 1447 01:31:06,258 --> 01:31:08,010 Go upstairs, and untie Evie. 1448 01:31:08,010 --> 01:31:09,720 No way... I'm not gonna untie her. 1449 01:31:09,761 --> 01:31:13,974 You got a woman tied and gagged upstairs. Go and untie her. 1450 01:31:14,016 --> 01:31:16,351 No, I'm not gonna untie her. 1451 01:31:16,393 --> 01:31:17,769 Hey... you tied her up... 1452 01:31:17,811 --> 01:31:19,938 Marty Barnes... you go untie her yourself. 1453 01:31:19,980 --> 01:31:21,899 No, you tied her up, you go untie her. 1454 01:31:21,940 --> 01:31:24,151 Go untie her, Marty. 1455 01:31:24,193 --> 01:31:26,320 Now! 1456 01:31:27,863 --> 01:31:29,948 Fine. I'll untie her. 1457 01:31:36,955 --> 01:31:39,458 It's not that big a deal to me. I'm going. 1458 01:31:45,047 --> 01:31:47,216 Hi... Evie, hi. 1459 01:31:52,179 --> 01:31:54,806 Before I untie you, while I have your attention... 1460 01:31:54,848 --> 01:31:57,476 I just wanted to take a minute and say... 1461 01:31:58,894 --> 01:32:00,854 I know this is gonna be really rough on you and Dave. 1462 01:32:02,689 --> 01:32:06,151 It's probably gonna end up in divorce for the two of you. 1463 01:32:07,069 --> 01:32:09,446 That's really sad... 1464 01:32:09,988 --> 01:32:12,908 Okay, what I'm thinking is... 1465 01:32:12,908 --> 01:32:15,786 you're gonna have half of Dave's money, right? 1466 01:32:15,827 --> 01:32:20,082 I gotta really good investment for you. A project I'm working on... 1467 01:32:27,089 --> 01:32:29,716 - Hey, beautiful. - Hey, honey. 1468 01:32:29,758 --> 01:32:31,260 Like my hair? 1469 01:32:31,301 --> 01:32:33,387 You kiddin'? I'm crazy about it. 1470 01:32:34,555 --> 01:32:36,306 - Hungry? - Yeah, I'm starved. 1471 01:32:36,348 --> 01:32:38,267 Can we go someplace nice? 1472 01:32:38,267 --> 01:32:39,476 Whatever you want. 1473 01:32:42,521 --> 01:32:44,398 Hi, I'm Henry. 1474 01:32:44,439 --> 01:32:46,275 I'm Marty. Nice to meet you. 1475 01:32:46,275 --> 01:32:48,694 Nice to meet you. You like her new hair? 1476 01:32:48,735 --> 01:32:50,237 Her hair? 1477 01:32:50,445 --> 01:32:51,989 Yeah, I like her hair. 1478 01:32:52,030 --> 01:32:53,198 Thanks. 1479 01:32:54,992 --> 01:32:56,827 - Nice meeting you, Henry. - Bye. 1480 01:32:58,245 --> 01:33:00,122 You like this restaurant, don't you? 1481 01:33:00,163 --> 01:33:02,541 - Always did. - I know you did. 1482 01:33:02,583 --> 01:33:05,669 Know what? We're gonna start coming here again. 1483 01:33:05,711 --> 01:33:08,630 That'd be nice. Thanks. 1484 01:33:10,632 --> 01:33:12,551 What did you think of Henry? 1485 01:33:13,635 --> 01:33:16,597 The guy at your salon? Seemed like a nice guy. 1486 01:33:16,638 --> 01:33:18,390 You think he's openly bisexual? 1487 01:33:19,808 --> 01:33:21,852 What do you mean, "openly bisexual"? 1488 01:33:21,894 --> 01:33:23,645 Well, If I went in there this afternoon... 1489 01:33:23,645 --> 01:33:24,980 and went, "Hey... 1490 01:33:25,022 --> 01:33:28,317 is anybody in here bisexual?" What do you think ol' Henry would do? 1491 01:33:28,317 --> 01:33:30,360 What's your point, Laura? 1492 01:33:30,402 --> 01:33:32,654 I think it would be good for you. 1493 01:33:32,696 --> 01:33:34,364 Good for me? 1494 01:33:36,658 --> 01:33:38,535 You're messin' with me, right? 1495 01:33:38,577 --> 01:33:40,787 Yeah. 1496 01:33:41,747 --> 01:33:43,498 I might be. 113101