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1
00:00:22,336 --> 00:00:24,031
Hi, it's me. Message to myself.
2
00:00:24,205 --> 00:00:25,194
[CHUCKLES]
3
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:28,365
A few things. Uh, put extra money
in Ritchie's lunch for a snack...
4
00:00:28,543 --> 00:00:33,139
...buy milk, buy wine,
find weird smell in living room.
5
00:00:33,314 --> 00:00:35,248
Botox, maybe, I don't know.
6
00:00:35,416 --> 00:00:37,816
Stop taking Nyquil,
I think it's keeping you up.
7
00:00:37,985 --> 00:00:41,216
Okay. Yeah, that's it.
Thank you very much.
8
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:44,756
You know what?
No, no Botox, that's gross.
9
00:00:44,926 --> 00:00:49,022
Who are you?
Learn to love yourself, for God's sakes.
10
00:00:49,197 --> 00:00:52,325
Okay, yeah, that's it.
Um, have a good night, ha.
11
00:00:55,837 --> 00:00:58,431
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:
Sent today at 2:57 a.m.
12
00:00:58,606 --> 00:00:59,595
[PHONE BEEPS]
13
00:00:59,774 --> 00:01:01,105
CHRISTINE [ON MACHINE]:
Yeah, hi.
14
00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:05,541
Uh, fix sprinklers, put pictures
in photo album, stop eating sugar.
15
00:01:05,713 --> 00:01:08,705
It's no replacement for love. Heh.
16
00:01:08,883 --> 00:01:12,319
Buy more Nyquil.
That's it. Thank you very much.
17
00:01:12,687 --> 00:01:14,416
Why do you always thank yourself?
18
00:01:14,789 --> 00:01:20,056
Because sometimes there are whole days
when I'm the only one who's polite to me.
19
00:01:20,228 --> 00:01:22,753
Oh, sad.
20
00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:25,398
Yeah, it is.
21
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:29,197
So it's an exciting day.
22
00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:31,429
Exciting new school.
23
00:01:31,606 --> 00:01:34,074
- Are you excited?
- No.
24
00:01:34,242 --> 00:01:38,736
Oh, don't say no.
You are excited. It's very exciting.
25
00:01:38,913 --> 00:01:43,373
Three hundred kids applied to your school.
Only two got in, and you're one of them.
26
00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,018
- Why?
- Why?
27
00:01:45,186 --> 00:01:48,212
Honey, because you're smart,
and you're friendly...
28
00:01:48,389 --> 00:01:53,224
...and if anyone asks,
you're one-sixteenth Native American.
29
00:01:53,394 --> 00:01:57,296
I don't wanna go to a private school.
I wanna stay in school with Julian.
30
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,865
Oh, come on, pal,
this is a great opportunity.
31
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:03,800
Going to a school we can't afford,
with people we've never met?
32
00:02:03,971 --> 00:02:05,199
Lt'll...
33
00:02:05,373 --> 00:02:07,364
It's better.
34
00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:12,270
- I don't wanna be better than Julian.
- Well, that's not what I'm saying.
35
00:02:12,446 --> 00:02:15,006
I'm saying that the school is better.
Not you.
36
00:02:15,183 --> 00:02:17,845
And I don't wanna catch you
turning into a snob, either.
37
00:02:18,019 --> 00:02:20,146
All right? You're not better than anyone.
38
00:02:20,321 --> 00:02:22,152
What about murderers?
39
00:02:23,124 --> 00:02:25,217
- What?
- Am I better than murderers?
40
00:02:25,893 --> 00:02:28,361
Well, yeah, honey, of course,
you're better than murderers.
41
00:02:28,529 --> 00:02:29,826
But nobody else.
42
00:02:29,997 --> 00:02:32,591
- What about racists?
- All right.
43
00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:35,502
You're better than racists,
and you're better than murderers...
44
00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:37,467
...but that's it.
45
00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:40,330
I heard racist.
You talking about Grandpa?
46
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,375
No, Uncle Matthew,
we're talking about Ritchie's new school...
47
00:02:43,544 --> 00:02:46,911
...and how much fun it's gonna be,
because they've got a brand-new gym...
48
00:02:47,081 --> 00:02:49,606
...and they have a music program,
and they have a science lab.
49
00:02:49,817 --> 00:02:51,751
And a giant wall
to keep out the poor people.
50
00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,819
And a snack bar.
51
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:57,146
Okay, go upstairs,
put your uniform on, okay, sweetie?
52
00:02:57,325 --> 00:02:58,917
Daddy's gonna meet us at school.
53
00:02:59,093 --> 00:03:01,653
Then he's coming over for pizza.
Maybe we'll watch a movie.
54
00:03:01,829 --> 00:03:03,456
- Cool.
- Hmm.
55
00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:07,362
- You and Richard have a weird divorce.
- It's not weird, it's great.
56
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:08,524
[SCOFFS]
57
00:03:08,703 --> 00:03:10,762
My divorce is better
than most people's marriages.
58
00:03:10,938 --> 00:03:15,170
We get along, we spend time together
as a family. Nothing's really changed.
59
00:03:15,343 --> 00:03:19,336
- Then why didn't you just stay married?
- Because, Matthew, it's complicated.
60
00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:23,548
My marriage was like a game
of hide-and-seek...
61
00:03:23,718 --> 00:03:26,278
...where both of us hid,
and nobody seeked.
62
00:03:27,388 --> 00:03:29,219
Sought.
63
00:03:29,891 --> 00:03:31,483
Slept together.
64
00:03:33,427 --> 00:03:35,622
Nothing's really changed.
65
00:03:43,938 --> 00:03:47,374
Why is everyone's car
so much bigger than ours?
66
00:03:48,509 --> 00:03:51,672
Because they don't believe
in themselves.
67
00:03:53,247 --> 00:03:55,772
Do we believe in ourselves?
68
00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:57,950
Look at our car.
69
00:03:59,086 --> 00:04:01,077
[CHATTERING]
70
00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:05,818
Okay.
71
00:04:05,993 --> 00:04:08,791
Well, this is nice.
72
00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:12,797
Nice desks. Lookit, nice artwork.
73
00:04:12,967 --> 00:04:15,800
- Where are the black kids?
- Shh!
74
00:04:22,276 --> 00:04:26,838
Don't. Don't say that.
There was one in the brochure.
75
00:04:29,216 --> 00:04:32,208
I'm sure he's around here somewhere.
76
00:04:34,255 --> 00:04:36,485
WOMAN 1: Hello.
CHRISTINE: Hi.
77
00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:38,750
- I don't know you.
CHRISTINE: Oh.
78
00:04:38,926 --> 00:04:41,156
We're new. Hi, I'm Christine Campbell.
79
00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:43,388
Hi, Marly Ehrhardt.
Ashley third, Nicky first.
80
00:04:43,564 --> 00:04:44,553
WOMAN 2:
Mm-hm.
81
00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:47,462
Lindsay. Kelsey third,
Sammy fourth, Jackson pre-K.
82
00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:50,693
I, uh...
83
00:04:50,871 --> 00:04:53,635
I don't know what you're saying to me.
84
00:04:54,608 --> 00:04:57,475
I'm Marly, I'm the room parent
for this class. So I will be, you know...
85
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,374
...collecting for holiday parties...
- Right.
86
00:04:59,547 --> 00:05:01,344
...hitting you up
for volunteer assignments...
87
00:05:01,515 --> 00:05:03,949
...you know, basically being
your general pain in the B-U-T-T.
88
00:05:04,118 --> 00:05:05,107
[LINDSAY CHUCKLES]
89
00:05:05,286 --> 00:05:07,720
I'll say. And, um...
90
00:05:07,888 --> 00:05:09,116
And I'm Lindsay.
91
00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:12,282
I was room parent last year,
but my Sammy got ranked in junior tennis...
92
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:14,360
...so I'm short on time this year.
93
00:05:14,528 --> 00:05:17,986
Oh, good for you. You got
"ranked in tennis" in the first sentence.
94
00:05:18,299 --> 00:05:20,096
Well, he is. He's ranked. I can't help it.
95
00:05:20,267 --> 00:05:21,256
[CHUCKLES]
96
00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:25,832
- Anyway, welcome to Westbridge.
- Thank you.
97
00:05:26,007 --> 00:05:28,703
We would say the best way
to get involved would be by volunteering...
98
00:05:28,876 --> 00:05:31,538
...and, you know, spending
as much time at the school as possible...
99
00:05:31,712 --> 00:05:33,179
...but, um, we hear that you work.
100
00:05:35,182 --> 00:05:37,343
I, uh... Yes.
101
00:05:37,518 --> 00:05:39,383
- Oh.
- What do you do?
102
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,952
Um, ahem, uh, I own a gym.
103
00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:47,755
Um, it's, um, one in a chain of women-only
30-minute workout places.
104
00:05:47,928 --> 00:05:49,862
Who would want a 30-minute workout?
105
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:51,931
What would I do
with the rest of my day?
106
00:05:52,099 --> 00:05:53,760
[ALL CHUCKLING]
107
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:56,528
Oh, there's Richard's dad,
so I'm gonna get out of here.
108
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,672
CHRISTINE: Ha, ha.
MARLY: Okay.
109
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:00,363
RICHARD:
Hey, Little.
110
00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:03,237
- How's my third-grader?
- I look like a dork in this uniform.
111
00:06:03,411 --> 00:06:05,242
- Yeah, you kind of do.
CHRISTINE: No, no, no.
112
00:06:05,413 --> 00:06:07,506
Richard, don't say that.
That doesn't help me.
113
00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:10,514
Sorry. Cool pants.
What are those, rayon?
114
00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:13,314
- Hi.
- Hi. Hey.
115
00:06:13,487 --> 00:06:14,579
[CHRISTINE CHUCKLES]
116
00:06:14,755 --> 00:06:17,952
- Why are you so dressed up?
- Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?
117
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:21,526
It's my day off. Plus, I wanted everyone
to know I went to Lake Tahoe.
118
00:06:24,932 --> 00:06:26,695
Oh, no. Presents?
119
00:06:26,867 --> 00:06:30,894
They were supposed to bring presents?
Uh, we didn't bring a present.
120
00:06:31,072 --> 00:06:34,098
- I'm sure it doesn't matter.
- Well, of course, it matters, Richard.
121
00:06:34,275 --> 00:06:37,369
He's new. I work. We're divorced.
122
00:06:37,545 --> 00:06:41,914
They're already looking at us like we're
the project family the church sent over.
123
00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:45,812
All right, you know what?
Stay here. I'm gonna fix this.
124
00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:48,216
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know, probably lie.
125
00:06:48,389 --> 00:06:49,879
Don't ever lie.
126
00:06:51,725 --> 00:06:52,714
[CHRISTINE CLEARS THRO AT]
127
00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:55,828
- Um, hi. You must be Mrs. Belt?
- Yes.
128
00:06:55,996 --> 00:06:59,625
Hi. Ha. I'm Christine Campbell,
I'm Richard Campbell's mom.
129
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,597
- Oh, yes.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
130
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:02,758
[BOTH LAUGH]
131
00:07:02,937 --> 00:07:07,340
Um, I have to apologize,
because your gift...
132
00:07:07,808 --> 00:07:10,140
...has been delayed.
133
00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:12,343
- Delayed?
- Well, yes.
134
00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:18,611
Um, it's just that it was, um,
so big that it had to be shipped.
135
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:22,981
And you should've heard me scream
at these people, because l...
136
00:07:23,157 --> 00:07:25,489
- You know, uh, Mrs. Campbell.
- Yes?
137
00:07:25,659 --> 00:07:31,256
Parents lavish me with all sorts of presents,
and one thing always seems to be true.
138
00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:36,631
The nicer the present,
the meaner the child.
139
00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:39,198
God bless you, Mrs. Belt.
140
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:40,533
[MRS. BELT CHUCKLES]
141
00:07:41,242 --> 00:07:42,641
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
142
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,505
- Okay.
- All right, parents.
143
00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:46,873
I need to say goodbye
to your students now.
144
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:49,880
It's time to start the third grade.
145
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,018
[MOUTHS]
Oh, my God.
146
00:07:53,154 --> 00:07:55,952
God, I am so proud of you already.
147
00:07:56,123 --> 00:07:57,112
I really am.
148
00:07:57,291 --> 00:07:58,622
[KISSING]
149
00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:03,029
- Okay.
RITCHIE: Bye, Mom.
150
00:08:03,197 --> 00:08:05,097
RICHARD: Come on.
- Bye-bye. Have fun. I love you.
151
00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:07,393
You know what?
I'm gonna give you one more little kiss.
152
00:08:07,568 --> 00:08:08,557
[KISSING]
153
00:08:09,203 --> 00:08:12,695
RICHARD:
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
154
00:08:13,774 --> 00:08:15,537
- Bye. I love you.
RICHARD: Bye.
155
00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:16,937
- Have fun.
RITCHIE: See you.
156
00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:19,306
Have fun. I love you, I love you.
157
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:24,139
[CHRISTINE SIGHS]
158
00:08:24,318 --> 00:08:25,751
Oh, my God.
159
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,184
- You wanna have breakfast?
- I already ate.
160
00:08:28,355 --> 00:08:29,686
- Oh.
- Stopped at Denny's.
161
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:30,983
Had the Moons Over My Hammy.
162
00:08:31,158 --> 00:08:33,649
[CHRISTINE LAUGHING]
163
00:08:33,827 --> 00:08:36,557
And, uh, I've got errands,
so, uh, I'll call you later.
164
00:08:36,730 --> 00:08:37,992
- Okay. All right. Mwah.
- Okay.
165
00:08:38,165 --> 00:08:40,156
RICHARD: Bye.
- Bye. See you.
166
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,499
Oh...
167
00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:49,508
- Your ex seems sweet.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
168
00:08:49,677 --> 00:08:51,838
How long has it been
since he divorced you?
169
00:08:52,012 --> 00:08:55,345
Uh, going on two years,
but it was mutual.
170
00:08:55,516 --> 00:08:56,915
MARLY & LINDSAY:
Uh-huh.
171
00:08:58,085 --> 00:08:59,950
No, no, no. I mean, it's great actually.
172
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,578
We get along, we spend time together
as a family, you know.
173
00:09:03,757 --> 00:09:06,988
It's better than most people's marriages.
Nothing's really changed.
174
00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:08,890
And where does his girlfriend
fit into that?
175
00:09:09,797 --> 00:09:12,197
- Excuse me?
- We just met her out in the parking lot.
176
00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:14,129
He had the poor thing waiting in the car.
177
00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:15,427
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
178
00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:16,831
MARLY & LINDSAY:
Oh, no.
179
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:19,234
You did know he was seeing someone,
didn't you?
180
00:09:21,141 --> 00:09:24,542
Oh, yes. Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
181
00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:26,304
Of course, yes. I knew that. Yes.
182
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:31,816
That is something that I certainly
did know of, that. Mm-hm.
183
00:09:32,152 --> 00:09:33,141
LINDSAY:
Good, good.
184
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,309
[ALL CHUCKLE]
185
00:09:34,488 --> 00:09:36,285
So is it hard that she's so young?
186
00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:40,119
- And she has to be adorable, right?
- Adorable.
187
00:09:41,061 --> 00:09:42,961
Well, what good is young
without adorable?
188
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:44,927
MARLY:
Yeah.
189
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:48,759
I would think the weirdest part
would be that her name is Christine.
190
00:09:53,641 --> 00:09:55,438
Say what?
191
00:09:56,143 --> 00:09:58,338
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like
she's the New Christine.
192
00:09:58,512 --> 00:09:59,536
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
193
00:09:59,713 --> 00:10:02,113
Which, I guess, would
make you the, uh, Old Christine.
194
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:03,648
Oh, yeah.
195
00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:06,450
Old Christine?
196
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,588
Old Christine.
197
00:10:10,324 --> 00:10:12,121
- Ugh, I would die.
- Me too.
198
00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,284
[MARLY & LINDSAY GIGGLING]
199
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:42,749
Hey!
200
00:10:42,923 --> 00:10:46,791
- What the hell are you doing?
- What am I doing? What are you doing?
201
00:10:47,461 --> 00:10:49,986
Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, man.
202
00:10:50,164 --> 00:10:52,029
Well, I guess you're meeting.
203
00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:55,327
Um, Christine, this is Christine.
204
00:10:55,502 --> 00:10:56,833
NEW CHRISTINE:
Hi, Christine.
205
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,835
I know. Same name.
206
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,668
You can call me Chrissy,
so it doesn't get confusing.
207
00:11:01,842 --> 00:11:03,070
Yeah, thanks.
208
00:11:03,243 --> 00:11:06,212
I probably won't get confused
about my own name.
209
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,007
I'm sorry you had to meet like this.
210
00:11:08,182 --> 00:11:10,082
Oh, you mean here
in front of our son's school...
211
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,115
...where I'm trying to make
a good impression...
212
00:11:12,286 --> 00:11:14,083
...and not get kicked out
in the first week...
213
00:11:14,254 --> 00:11:18,520
...because my ex is whoring around
in the parking lot in his Chevy?
214
00:11:18,692 --> 00:11:22,219
Oh, no, no, don't be silly.
This is an absolutely ideal way to meet.
215
00:11:22,396 --> 00:11:25,524
I'm also really sorry about this.
I've heard so much about you.
216
00:11:25,699 --> 00:11:29,396
I mean, Richard just goes on and on
about what a great mom you are.
217
00:11:30,371 --> 00:11:31,736
I don't care.
218
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,940
Richard, it would be so nice...
219
00:11:35,109 --> 00:11:38,272
...if once you would put our son's needs
ahead of your own.
220
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,276
- Oh, like you?
- Excuse me?
221
00:11:40,447 --> 00:11:42,938
What in the living hell
is that supposed to mean?
222
00:11:43,117 --> 00:11:46,780
This school is more for the well-being
of your ego than for Little Richard's future.
223
00:11:46,954 --> 00:11:48,285
What? What?
224
00:11:48,455 --> 00:11:50,753
This school is more for the well-being
of your ego...
225
00:11:50,924 --> 00:11:52,186
I heard you, Richard.
226
00:11:52,359 --> 00:11:56,853
Look, I needed to move on.
I think it's time for you to move on too.
227
00:11:57,598 --> 00:12:01,864
For your information, Richard,
I have moved on.
228
00:12:02,035 --> 00:12:05,698
I have had a boyfriend now forever. Joe.
229
00:12:05,873 --> 00:12:09,001
- What's he do?
- He's a...
230
00:12:10,544 --> 00:12:14,878
He's a lumberjack, by trade.
231
00:12:15,516 --> 00:12:17,416
Ahem, and he has brown hair.
232
00:12:19,553 --> 00:12:21,680
And he's rich. Hmm.
233
00:12:24,124 --> 00:12:25,591
He sounds great.
234
00:12:25,759 --> 00:12:28,557
I have to go. Now.
235
00:12:28,729 --> 00:12:31,425
- It was nice to meet you.
- I don't care.
236
00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:58,517
Damn it.
237
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,287
Am I getting fired?
238
00:13:03,831 --> 00:13:06,231
Not if you answer this question correctly.
239
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:13,272
Do you think that I put Richard
in Westbridge School for him or for me?
240
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,110
For you. No, no, for him.
241
00:13:17,277 --> 00:13:22,579
Uh, for you?
Oh, I don't know. This job is so hard.
242
00:13:22,749 --> 00:13:24,808
You hand out towels.
243
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,882
Oh, damn, the towels.
244
00:13:36,563 --> 00:13:38,997
Don't stop, you've only got 30 minutes.
245
00:13:42,002 --> 00:13:43,469
Can I talk to you for a minute?
246
00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:47,904
What? What do you want?
247
00:13:48,075 --> 00:13:50,407
Look, she had to wait in the car
because we had a date.
248
00:13:50,577 --> 00:13:53,512
Then you called, and I wanted
to come to Little's first day of school.
249
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,170
- Yes, of course, but...
- Can I finish?
250
00:13:55,349 --> 00:13:57,579
- But I just wanna...
- Can I finish?
251
00:13:58,652 --> 00:14:03,351
And it was too late to cancel plans
with New... Young... My...
252
00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:06,257
- There's no good version.
- No.
253
00:14:08,829 --> 00:14:11,320
I didn't want you to find out
about her like that.
254
00:14:11,498 --> 00:14:14,524
And the thing I said about Little's school
and your ego, that wasn't fair.
255
00:14:14,701 --> 00:14:17,966
I know you're doing
what you think is best for him. I just...
256
00:14:18,138 --> 00:14:19,765
You sort of accused me
of being a bad dad.
257
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:26,436
Well, ha, because you were making out
in the parking lot!
258
00:14:28,882 --> 00:14:30,543
She started it.
259
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,856
- Christine thinks you're nice.
- Nice? God.
260
00:14:37,024 --> 00:14:41,825
- I did everything but bite her.
- Well, she's nice. Maybe she got confused.
261
00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:46,591
- Are you okay?
- Me? Oh, yeah.
262
00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:47,756
[CHRISTINE SCOFFS]
263
00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:49,232
Are you kidding me? I'm fine.
264
00:14:49,403 --> 00:14:52,668
You know, I got my own guy, so...
265
00:14:53,373 --> 00:14:55,136
The lumberjack.
266
00:14:56,677 --> 00:15:00,238
Yeah. Man, is he into me.
267
00:15:00,614 --> 00:15:04,914
I'll tell you, when a lumberjack
loves you, he loves you.
268
00:15:09,489 --> 00:15:10,581
- What?
- What?
269
00:15:12,459 --> 00:15:15,690
Yeah, okay, there's no lumberjack.
270
00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:20,196
Really? Man, it's so hard to tell
when you're lying.
271
00:15:21,902 --> 00:15:24,769
I haven't even considered dating yet.
272
00:15:25,872 --> 00:15:29,035
I'm still wearing my maternity underwear.
273
00:15:30,644 --> 00:15:34,171
- You're kidding.
- They're very comfortable.
274
00:15:35,315 --> 00:15:38,443
What are you waiting for, Christine?
Oh, wait.
275
00:15:38,619 --> 00:15:40,052
CHRISTINE:
What?
276
00:15:40,787 --> 00:15:41,776
It's me.
277
00:15:43,624 --> 00:15:46,457
I'm still in there, aren't I?
278
00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:49,460
Oh, my God.
279
00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:53,361
[LAUGHING]
Did you...? Did you just say that?
280
00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:58,563
Oh, no, no, no. I mean, I'm sorry.
281
00:15:58,739 --> 00:16:01,333
But, no offense. But, honey, no.
282
00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:05,670
Seriously, I mean, the best thing
that I can say about being married to you...
283
00:16:05,846 --> 00:16:08,872
...is that you are a fantastic ex-husband.
284
00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:11,574
Baby, you gotta let me go.
285
00:16:13,186 --> 00:16:18,089
And, God,
dating is such a horrifying thought.
286
00:16:18,258 --> 00:16:23,218
You know?
I mean, the small talk and the nudity.
287
00:16:24,698 --> 00:16:28,429
I have to stand on my head
to make my boobs look good.
288
00:16:30,704 --> 00:16:33,366
And why do you have to fool around
with somebody so young?
289
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:34,939
That doesn't help me.
290
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,970
Kind of helps me. Sorry, sorry.
291
00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:39,776
Sorry.
292
00:16:39,946 --> 00:16:44,212
But, Christine, I'm not fooling around.
293
00:16:44,851 --> 00:16:46,182
I'm serious about her.
294
00:16:47,654 --> 00:16:49,588
Oh, you're serious?
295
00:16:52,059 --> 00:16:53,788
Well, that's...
296
00:16:54,094 --> 00:16:56,028
That's good.
297
00:16:57,698 --> 00:17:00,531
Because I'm serious
with my boyfriend too.
298
00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:03,302
We just established
you didn't have a boyfriend.
299
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,665
Yeah, I'm back on him.
300
00:17:08,675 --> 00:17:13,135
Just for the record,
your boobs are fantastic upright.
301
00:17:13,313 --> 00:17:15,008
You wish.
302
00:17:15,182 --> 00:17:17,742
- I don't even know what that means.
- No.
303
00:17:25,726 --> 00:17:30,220
Richard, help her find the door,
for God's sakes.
304
00:17:33,533 --> 00:17:36,900
You know, I'm trying really hard to be cool,
but it's hot in that car.
305
00:17:38,205 --> 00:17:40,070
I don't get what your relationship is...
306
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,175
...because you spend a lot
of time together for divorced people.
307
00:17:43,343 --> 00:17:44,605
My parents were divorced...
308
00:17:44,778 --> 00:17:48,236
...and the only way they communicated
was by putting notes in my lunch box.
309
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:51,384
So is there something going on
between you?
310
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:54,520
Oh, no.
No, there's nothing going on here.
311
00:17:54,688 --> 00:17:57,589
Oh, okay.
312
00:17:57,858 --> 00:18:00,326
Yeah, that's what I thought.
313
00:18:00,727 --> 00:18:05,130
Uh, listen, ahem, I have to apologize
for my behavior this morning.
314
00:18:05,298 --> 00:18:07,528
I was very rude.
315
00:18:07,701 --> 00:18:10,067
Oh, really? I thought you were nice.
316
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:13,536
Okay, I, uh...
317
00:18:15,842 --> 00:18:18,208
Well, I'm gonna go... I'll wait in the car.
318
00:18:28,088 --> 00:18:29,578
Are we done here?
319
00:18:30,657 --> 00:18:31,919
Looks like.
320
00:18:32,092 --> 00:18:33,286
[CHRISTINE CLEARS THRO AT]
321
00:18:35,529 --> 00:18:36,996
So I'll see you at the soccer game?
322
00:18:37,164 --> 00:18:39,064
- I'll save you a seat.
- Yep.
323
00:18:42,035 --> 00:18:45,061
MATTHEW: What are those?
- Underwear.
324
00:18:45,238 --> 00:18:47,103
For how many people?
325
00:18:51,411 --> 00:18:54,209
- Are you okay?
- Why?
326
00:18:54,381 --> 00:18:56,645
Well, when I see someone
throwing out their underwear...
327
00:18:56,817 --> 00:19:01,845
...it's either a cry for help or a desperate
valentine for the garbage man.
328
00:19:02,455 --> 00:19:04,616
Is anyone gonna wanna go out with me?
329
00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:06,656
Are you kidding?
You got nothing to worry about.
330
00:19:06,827 --> 00:19:08,795
- Oh, thanks, Matthew.
- No, no.
331
00:19:08,962 --> 00:19:11,522
Come on,
we'll scare up someone for you.
332
00:19:12,065 --> 00:19:13,828
Hey, you know my friend Ugly Larry?
333
00:19:15,235 --> 00:19:18,295
Is that that weird guy who used
to follow me around in high school?
334
00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:21,540
Yeah, he can call me.
335
00:19:33,954 --> 00:19:37,446
Ritchie, you don't have to go
to this school if you hate it.
336
00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:41,890
I mean, I know you miss Julian,
and black people.
337
00:19:42,062 --> 00:19:46,590
And even though I thought I was pushing
this whole private-school thing for you...
338
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:49,530
...I might've actually been sort of
over-investing in your life...
339
00:19:49,703 --> 00:19:52,866
...so that I wouldn't have to start my own,
which is completely wrong.
340
00:19:53,039 --> 00:19:54,597
It's not what a mom is supposed to do.
341
00:19:54,774 --> 00:19:57,572
So if you really do hate it,
honey, Ritchie?
342
00:19:57,744 --> 00:20:00,008
Ritchie, do you have any idea
what I'm talking about?
343
00:20:00,881 --> 00:20:05,147
- PMS?
- No, not PMS.
344
00:20:05,318 --> 00:20:06,910
I should never have told you
about PMS...
345
00:20:07,087 --> 00:20:11,114
...because now you think
that's the reason for everything, it's not.
346
00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:16,460
Well, it's the reason for a lot of things,
but not everything.
347
00:20:18,231 --> 00:20:20,631
Honey, I'm trying to tell you something.
348
00:20:23,904 --> 00:20:26,304
I'm trying to tell you
that I'm sorry, okay?
349
00:20:26,473 --> 00:20:30,876
And, um, you know,
I'm just doing the best I can here.
350
00:20:31,411 --> 00:20:32,639
Okay.
351
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,843
Okay.
352
00:20:41,288 --> 00:20:43,449
I get to learn an instrument.
353
00:20:43,623 --> 00:20:45,989
I'm picking the saxophone.
354
00:20:46,159 --> 00:20:49,390
Riley picked the trumpet,
so we might be a band.
355
00:20:49,562 --> 00:20:51,154
Riley? Who's Riley?
356
00:20:51,331 --> 00:20:54,266
My friend.
My other friends are Cole and Jack.
357
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:57,562
- Friends? You have friends?
- Yeah.
358
00:20:58,371 --> 00:21:00,965
Yeah. So, what else?
359
00:21:01,141 --> 00:21:03,837
- Well, I thought I would be behind in math.
- Right.
360
00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:05,807
But they haven't even done
their sevens yet.
361
00:21:05,979 --> 00:21:09,346
- What?
- Mrs. Belt let me write them on the board.
362
00:21:09,516 --> 00:21:11,177
She's nice.
363
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:13,945
- She is?
- Yeah.
364
00:21:14,854 --> 00:21:18,312
- So, honey, was it okay?
- I like it.
365
00:21:18,692 --> 00:21:20,250
[CHRISTINE LAUGHS]
366
00:21:57,263 --> 00:21:59,254
[ENGLISH SDH]
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