All language subtitles for Hart to Hart s04e06 Harts Desire.eng

This is my boss,

Jonathan hart,
a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady
who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,
'cause when they met...

It was murder.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Barking]

[♪♪]

[Ominous music playing]

[Crickets chirping]

[Martial music playing]

"As general wharton's union
troops put the torch to gray oaks,

the once-glorious plantation,

dabney canfield, colonel
of the confederacy,

swore a silent
oath of vengeance.

For him, the war
would never end."

[Thud]

I meant every word
of that oath, Alicia.

General wharton will
never return here again.

A bit more wine, Alicia?

Why won't you answer me?

[Ominous music playing]

[Max] "For six months after general wharton
took Alicia away,

dabney was consoled

only by the bittersweet
memory of her kiss.

This was the
kiss that the war forbade,

the kiss for which
dabney had waited.

As he relived its sweetness,

he came to know that Alicia was no
mere mortal,

but
a goddess descended from on high."

Just a mortal, Max,

but a very hungry one.

What's for lunch?

"She was more to him now

than he had ever dreamed."

Never mind, Max.
I'll get it myself.

Pretty hot stuff, huh, freeway?

Jonathan.

I thought you
were at the office.

Oh, darn it.

You caught me.

What are you doing?

I'm preparing
for the first annual family barbecue.

As a matter
of fact, I'm taking the whole week off

to celebrate a
series of holidays.

What holidays are those?

Well, uh, groundhog day.

That's one
of my favorites. That's when they see

your shadow, and
you have to go to bed for six weeks.

We already did that one.Mm-hmm.

- [Jonathan] Oh, darling.
- [Jennifer] Hmm.

You know, this
is gonna be a very special weekend.

It is? Yep.

It's gonna be
Jennifer hart week.

Oh. And that means

that you can do anything
you want, every day.

Whatever. Oh, I like that.

Yeah? I knew I loved
you for something.

[Intercom buzzes] I'll get that.

Hello. [Man] Is Mrs. Hart in?

This is Mrs. Hart.
Who is this, please?

Jennifer, can you spell
"necessary," "business" and "successful?"

"Necessary?"

Professor?

Come on up.

Oh, it's the
professor. Professor Elliott Lawrence.

I studied with
him at Stanford. Oh.

Today, he is one of
the most important

literary critics in the
country. You'll love him.

Yeah, you think he'll,
uh, like barbecue?

I hope so.

[Orchestral music playing]

[Jennifer] Professor.

- Ah.
- Ah.

Edwards, you're supposed to
look like some years have passed

since college. You
haven't changed a bit.

Still as feisty
as ever. This is my husband, Jonathan.

- How do you do, professor?
- How do you do?

You're just in time
for the first annual

- family barbecue.
- Well.

You see,
it's Jennifer hart week.

[Elliot] Mmm. That was good.

Mmm. Delicious, darling.

Ah, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it.

Well, now, here I am
having the best hot dog

I've ever had in my life,

and I have to ask you a favor.

Just name it, professor.

Have you ever heard
of Victoria Gregory?

Victoria Gregory?
She's my favorite writer.

Obviously, a man of
questionable taste.

[Max] What do you
mean? She's fantastic.

I'm one of her biggest fans.

Well, then you'll be
happy to know that she has just won

the romance writer
of the year award.

Great.

Is that what's
bothering you, professor?

Not exactly.

As you know, there's
never been a picture of her.

That's right.

Well, there
couldn't have been, because, you see,

I am Victoria Gregory.

You? No way.

She's got to be a she.

I've built an entire
career as a man of letters,

and if it were known
that I have paid my bills by writing...

Garbage?

[Max] Garbage?

What are
you talking about? That's great writing.

It won the award, didn't it?

[Elliot] No, no,
no. Mr. Hart is right.

Nevertheless,
my publisher insists

that this award be accepted.

And if I do, I lose my cover,

because, you see,
readers will only buy romantic novels

written by women.

If I don't, I lose my publisher.

Now, I need the
income from a few more

Victoria Gregory
novels, so I can retire,

and write
the book I've always wanted to write.

And you should write.

How can we help you?

Well, Jennifer,

I would like for you to accept the award as
Victoria Gregory.

Impersonate her?

Well, it's no crime
to impersonate someone who doesn't exist.

And besides, no one
has ever seen her,

so it will be easy.

[Jonathan] Well, I'm
not sure about that.

Uh, Jennifer
is very well-known in the literary field.

Someone's bound
to recognize her.

Not with a
change of hairdo and a bit of makeup,

and maybe a picture hat.

Look, look, I know
I'm asking a lot,

but you are uniquely
qualified to bring this off.

You were always a quick study.

Oh. Thank you
very much, professor.

It's all here, Jennifer,
selected works,

and a crash course
on her background.

What do you think, darling?

Where does the, uh,
ceremony take place?

In New Orleans,
Victoria Gregory country.

New Orleans?

What do you think?

Jennifer hart week
on bourbon street?

Hmm?

But how?

How could Victoria Gregory

turn up in New Orleans
with Jonathan hart?

Jay hartley.

Who? [Elliot]
You're Jay hartley,

her secretary.
Now, look, I've got it all worked out.

I've never been
a secretary before.

Well, I've
never been a romantic novelist before.

But on the other hand...

Bouillabaisse,

chicken gumbo,

shrimp creole.

Shoofly pie.

Mmm.

Tell me something, professor.
Was Hemingway a dame?

[Pizzicato music playing]

[Orchestral music playing]

[Jonathan] What page are you on?

[Jennifer] What?

Um, 73.

Turn to the last
page, and listen to this.

I don't want to know the ending.

Just listen to this.

"Alicia moved
nearer to the dashing union general,

her sworn enemy,

and looked up, her eyes
shining through tears as she whispered,

'i love you so
much that nothing, nothing matters,

not even gray oaks,

even though
it's a part of me, and always will be... '"

"just as dabney
canfield is a part of me,

because he is gray
oaks, and all it stands for.

But that's all gone now,

and I am now
Alicia Raleigh wharton.

Till death do us part."

Whew.

What an ending.

[Jonathan]
Sweetheart, that's only the beginning.

[Canfield] Alicia.

Alicia!

Why won't you answer?

[Knife clatters]

In two days, Victoria Gregory will be
in New Orleans.

She wrote our
story. She'll know where to find you.

And I will force her to tell me.

I swear it.

I swear it on my commission

as an officer of the
confederacy.

[Canfield] Victoria
Gregory, whoever she is...

Will tell me her secret,

or she'll die.

[Ominous music playing]

[Jennifer] I can't
figure out what to wear.

I thought, something pastel.

You know, like one of the characters
in her books.

Yeah. If you're
thinking about that

for Victoria Gregory,
scrap it, Mrs. H.

Victoria can't
wear pink. Why not?

Because
morgana Meredith always wears pink.

She's america's answer
to Barbara cartland.

Oh, well, that
explains everything.

Morgana is her competitor.

You, Victoria, have just beaten her out of
the grand prize.

Oh. Well, scrap the pink.

Morgana's got enough problems.

Well, actually,
I was thinking of something more tweedy.

Forget it. Victoria
don't wear tweeds.

She's got to be classy,
romantic, glamorous.

Like you, Mrs. H.

Well, thank you, Max.

Only maybe blond.

Oh, uh, what about
my, uh, secretary,

Jay hartley?

Don't get cute, Max.

Don't get cute.

I see hartley as
a conservative type.

With it, but not flashy.

Narrow collar, thin tie,

shell-rim spectacles.

You need work, Mr. H.

Thanks, Max.

[Jazz music playing]

[Woman] Morgana, darling,
you look like the last Rose of summer.

Summer of '65. [Chuckles]

Uh, tell me, what are
you planning to wear to the costume ball?

Ooh, something
simple, historical.

Oh, a confederate flag?

And
what are you coming as, sweetheart?

A sharecropper, a cotton picker

or just, uh, poor, white trash?

Oh, I'll leave the
trash to you and your word processor.

[Man] Uh, miss Meredith?

Miss wentworth? Uh, may I?

Of course.

- [Shutter clicks]
- Thanks.

Just wanted to get
a picture of the runners-up.

Well, you
know, darling, I never did mind coming

in second
to you, all these years,

because I always figured, when you
died,

went to your
royalties in the sky,

I'd have my just desserts.

[Morgana] Well, you
look like you've already been having

just desserts.Mm-hmm.

And now that Victoria
Gregory has beaten you out for the prize,

I shall simply have
to wait a little bit longer.

- And that's not fiction.
- No, indeed, it is not fiction.

I know what it is,

but I'm too much of
a lady to say.

You sound like you'd
like to teach miss Gregory a lesson or two.

[Morgana] Oh,
I could give her a plot, a nice family one.

Well, let's drink up.

I can't wait to
get over to the riverboat

and see what she looks like.

I hear she's as old
as Agatha was at the end.

Oh, my dear, that's
the nicest thing you've said all afternoon.

Well, to us,

and to next year's contest.

Excuse me.

Did I hear you say that Victoria
Gregory will be on the riverboat?

Yes. There's
gonna be a conference at the riverboat.

You sound
as though you know Victoria Gregory.

She may be someone
I've known all my life.

Well, are you a writer?

Well, you could say,

I've got a
very vivid imagination.

Oh, uh... eh, see
you at the riverboat.

Bye.

[Ambient music playing]

[Jennifer] Jonathan,

couldn't we go to the hotel before
we go to the press conference?

- My stomach's doing flip-flops.
- Uh, we'd be late.

It sound to me like you've
got a classic case of butterflies.

Ow! More like mosquitoes.

I'm beginning to forget
everything I learned.

Oh, now, have no
fear, hartley is here.

Let's go over
it again, all right?

What did you
write after rebel lady?

Rebel lady. Rebel lady.

Rebel lady, uh... oh,
when cotton was king?

Oh, that's very good. Very good.

After that you wrote, uh...?

Jonathan, maybe Victoria
doesn't have to go

to this press
conference after all.

You could just say that
she came down with a case of the vapors.

Darling, you're doing fine.

Really, just fine.

Hartley...

How much do I pay you?

It ain't the
money that keeps me around, honey.

It's the hospitality.

[Jazz music playing]

Oh, look, look,
there's Victoria Gregory.

[Man] Are you
sure? Nobody knows what she looks like.

No, I'm sure that's
Victoria Gregory.

I once met her secretary.

She's beautiful, isn't she?

[Horn blowing]

[Reporter] Miss Gregory, how do you
feel about being here in New Orleans?

Miss Gregory
can't answer any questions right now.

We're having a press
conference on board. So...

Hi, y'all.

[Man] Here she is. Miss Gregory.

[Jennifer] Oh, boy.

[People applauding]

It was such a lovely reception.

Welcome, miss
Gregory. This way to the press conference.

- [Jennifer] Oh my goodness.
- [Man] Please, follow me.

Yes, see, I would
say that the rumors

about her age are
greatly exaggerated.

I hope
she's electrocuted by her typewriter.

Well, not
if I can get her first.

[Reporter] Miss
Gregory... Miss Gregory,

why haven't you been
seen in public before?

Uh, well, that
is because i... I'm a very private person.

Miss Gregory.

Oh, thank you.

[Woman 1]
And where do you get your characters?

[Jennifer] Uh, where
do I get my characters?

Well, I get my characters from,

where every writer
gets their characters...

From life experiences

and... And from my imagination.

[Woman 2] Then you
are your characters?

[Jennifer] Oh, well,
yes, I suppose so.

[Woman 3] All of them?

I suppose, yes. I suppose.

[Woman 4] Uh,
Francis Maxwell, tomorrow's woman.

Why do you have
a male secretary?

- [Shutter clicks]
- Oh.

Well, that is because
I am an equal-opportunities employer.

[All laughing]

Excuse me. Did you say you
really are the characters you write about?

Oh, well, yes,
I suppose I am, Mr...

- Canfield.
- [Jennifer] Canfield.

Yes, Mr. Canfield...

Why, isn't that
a happy coincidence?

I have a character called canfield in
one of my books,

heart's desire. Do
you remember that?

Oh, yes. Even Alicia?

Alicia?

Yes, I suppose there
is part of me that is Alicia.

I love Alicia.

Why, thank you, Mr. Canfield.

I ought to tell
you there's someone here...

Uh, miss Gregory...
[Horn blowing]

Excuse us.
Uh, there are some more questions.

Uh, perhaps we can talk later.

Yes. Don't you worry.

I'll take care of everything.

[Jennifer] Thank you.

[Man] Please,
miss Gregory. [Woman] Miss Gregory.

Elliott Lawrence, miss Gregory.

Could I interview you
someplace quiet?

[Elliot] Miss Gregory, do you consider
what you write

to... to be, uh, literature?

Oh, well, now, Mr. Lawrence.

You are the critic.

It is up to you
to make that judgment.

Ow. Very well, uh,

then let me put it this way,

uh, I believe you write
purely commercial tripe.

Uh, would you care to comment?

No, I would not.

But, come to think of it.

Isn't that,

what James earlington

of lichfield said
about Shakespeare?

Are you comparing yourself to Shakespeare,
miss Gregory?

Oh, no, Mr. Lawrence.

I'm comparing
you to Mr. Earlington.

[People applauding]

Thank you.

Thank you.

[Meredith]
Haven't you read any of my books?

Oh, now, really, Mr. Canfield.

Who do you
work for anyway, the times-picayune?

[Ominous music playing]

Did you mean what
you said about her?

Are you jealous of her?

Oh, Mr. Canfield.

Would you kill her?

Well, I mean, I'd be
perfectly justified if I did.

She slaughters history and murders
the king's English.

Would you kill her?

Well, I might,
if I could get away with it.

Even if you knew she was really

Alicia Raleigh?

Would you kill Alicia Raleigh?

Well, heh, Alicia
Raleigh is only a character in a book.

And... and s...

And so is dabney canfield.

Oh! Oh, my...

[horn blowing]

[Ominous music playing]

[Ambient music playing]

[Jonathan] Croissants,

teacakes.

That's, uh, coffee.
We ordered tea.

Oh, claiborne
manor only serves coffee at high tea, sir.

Oh, of course.

Well, I'm sure
that there is, uh, chicory in the coffee.

Oh, claiborne manor never forgets to add
the chicory, sir.

There you go, Mr. Hartley.

Thank you.

And there you
go. Thank you, sir.

Oh, Mr. Hartley,
I have here a copy of chattanooga dawn.

I wrote it myself, and if perhaps you
could show it

to miss Gregory, any help

that she could give would be greatly
appreciated.

Well, I'll see that she gets it.

Oh, thank you
very much, sir. I really do appreciate it.

See, I have visions
of a movie sale. Perhaps...

Oh, I'm sure that
there's one in there,

and I'll discuss it with her. Oh, thank
you very much, sir.

Thank you.

Coast is clear.

Ah, tea for two for three.

Sorry, Elliott. We didn't
want anybody to think

we were fraternizing
with the enemy.

Well, a phony
female author, hiding in a hotel room

with an acerbic, yet very handsome,
literary critic.

I feel a new story coming on.

I feel chicory coming on.

That's because they
serve coffee for tea.

- Oh.
- Mmm. Thank you.

What's that?

Oh, that is
a manuscript called chattanooga dawn.

One of your admirers wrote that.

They'd like to have
your professional opinion.

Ah. Elliott.

Chattanooga dawn.

Well, there's a certain
shallowness about it.

[Chuckles] Well, it's so bad,

it could be good.

However...

To the most beautiful

and convincing
romance writer the world will ever know.

Oh.

Here. Thanks.

Oh, by the way,
I hope, you didn't mind

what I said at
the press conference.

[Jennifer] Not at all.

Did I do all right?

[Elliot] A-plus. Thank you.

James earlington of lichfield.

That's funny.
I've never heard of him.

I would have
been surprised if you had. I made him up.

You did? Mm-hmm.

Well, you'll
have to take credit for that, professor.

You're the one that
taught her how to use her imagination.

All you have to do now

is get through
the ball tonight, and we're home free.

After we finish our
tea, we're going to have

to disappear into our own rooms.

Ah, yes.

Separate rooms.

With, uh, connecting balconies.

A lot of good that does. Hmm.

Well, that's more than
Romeo and Juliet had.

Hmm.

[Ominous music playing]

[Canfield] That
yankee will never take you away again.

You'll be safe, back
here at gray oaks.

[Knock at door]

Yes, who is it?

[Man] Flowers, miss Gregory.

Oh.

Ah.

Why, thank you very much.

"Your servant,
colonel dabney canfield of gray oaks."

Hmm.

[Whistle]

Black roses?

[Whistles]

[Whistle]

I thought we were
supposed to have adjoining balconies.

So did I.

I may get hoarse.

Your room or mine?

[Footsteps approaching]

- Oh, do excuse me.
- [Screen door shuts]

Am I, uh, interrupting
your creative flow?

Hi, Rosemary.

Oh, no. No. I was, uh...

I was just
dictating something from my new novel.

Dictating?

My dear, you need
two tin cans and a string.

Well, I just have
to work whenever inspiration strikes.

How fascinating.

I don't suppose you'd care to divulge
the story line,

or is it a deep, dark secret?

Well,

it's, uh...

It's a sort of...
Gothic murder story.

You see, this
lady author checks into a hotel room,

in between the
two prime suspects,

one of whom
is a homicidal maniac.

[Frogs croaking]

[Ambient music playing]

Good night, miss wentworth.

Sleep tight, Rosemary.

[Whistle]

Oh.

[Knocks]

Is that you?

[Jonathan] Oh.

I think we're adding quite
a bit of color to Victoria's character.

I hope that
Rosemary is peeping through a keyhole.

I don't think
there are any keyholes in this hotel.

I bet she brought
one of her own.

Oh.

What was that
for? That's for being such a terrific boss.

Oh.

What do I get
for being an award-winning novelist?

Is that it?

Oh, you're gonna have
to do better than that.

My fans are already
sending me flowers.

Very strange flowers,
but nonetheless, flowers.

Interesting fan.

Colonel dabney
canfield of gray oaks.

One of the characters
from heart's desire.

And also the same
fellow on the boat.

Well, he probably knows
we're going to the ball

dressed as the
characters from the book,

and he just wants to play along.

We have about an
hour until the ball.

We do? Mm-hmm.

I love you as a blonde.

Aww.

Well, maybe
we should see if blondes have more fun.

Yeah, maybe we should.

Darling, whether
you're Jennifer,

Victoria or Alicia,

I'm glad I am
Jonathan or Jay. Oh.

[Jonathan] You know
why? [Jennifer] Why?

[Jonathan] Because
we're as close as two pages in a book.

[Jennifer] Mm.

[Frogs croaking]

[Waltz music playing]

- Oh, Mr. Lawrence.
- [Elliot] Yes.

Rosemary wentworth.

You reviewed my novel,
whispers by candlelight.

Well, I have to call
them as I see them.

Oh, don't apologize.

You said,
"it was steamy sex from cover to cover."

That line sold
50,000 copies. Oh.

May I have this dance?

It seems Victoria Gregory made quite
an impression

upon the press.
Well, a very bright and attractive woman.

Coming from you,
that's a rave review.

Have you seen morgana?

Uh, not since this afternoon.

[Rosemary] Neither have I.

I'm beginning to get
a little bit worried about her.

Well, I suppose she'll show up.

Well, shut my little old mouth.

[People applauding]

My, my, my, my,
my. How do you do?

Why, this looks
like the beginning

of a truly gothic romance.

And you be careful
now, Rosemary.

He is truly lethal with
a pen in his hand.

Hartley,

shall we?

Shall I?

Be my guest.

- Excuse us.
- Mr. Lawrence.

[Waltz music playing]

[Chuckles]

Incredible, isn't she?

You could swear she was Alicia,

straight from
the pages of her own book.

She's come to life.

My Alicia, here in New Orleans.

Just like it was written.

Oh, I get it.

You're dressed as
colonel canfield from the book.

The book is the truth.

Hartley, I bet she
barely pays you enough to cover the rent.

I'll pay you double
what she pays you.

Actually, my
typing is the, uh, hunt-and-peck method.

Wonderful.

We'll hunt and peck together.

Now that we have a moment,

I want you to
know I'm proud of you.

Why, Mr. Lawrence, you do go on.

No, no, no, no. I'm
not talking to Victoria.

I mean you, Jennifer.

Your husband is
a wonderful man and it's a good marriage.

I'd say great.

But you're not
just great together.

As I've tried to
point out in my reviews of your work,

you are also very
good on your own.

Oh, well,
it's because I had a very good teacher.

Oh, come on.
Give me a hint. Is it really a mystery?

I can't, uh, really tell
you. You'll have to wait until publication.

Oh.
I may wait a couple of weeks longer,

pick it up from
the remainder file.

[People applauding] Oh.

You haven't seen
morgana, have you?

No, I haven't.

Excuse me.

Uh, she's all yours.

Thank you.

Well, how did you
do with Rosemary?

Interesting, but, uh, cold.

Oh. Well, I suspect,

that beneath
that cold exterior...

Is a truly cold interior.

You're right.

First she tried to steal me,

then she tried to steal
the plot of your book.

Oh, how'd she do?

I didn't say a
word about the book.

Good boy.

[People chattering]

[Band plays
Johann Strauss Jr.'s "emperor waltz"]

[Horn blowing] [Waltz continues]

[Rosemary screaming]

[Rosemary]
Help! Help! Help! Help!

[Rosemary] Oh! Oh! Oh! [Screams]

Help! Someone! Help! Help! Help!

Help. Look, it's morgana.

[Rosemary] Oh. Oh.

[Rosemary] Oh.

Alicia, it's time.

What? Oh.

You're the gentleman
from this afternoon.

Where are we going?

Colonel canfield at
your service.

We
have to hurry before he comes back.

Who? The yankee general.

What yankee general?

[Ominous music playing]

Oh.

You sent me the roses.

[Canfield] Hurry, Alicia.

Oh, no, please. Now...

Jonathan! Let's go, Alicia.

[Grunts]

[Ominous music playing]

Elliott.

Call the police.

Where is
Jennifer? She's on the dance floor. Why?

One of her admirers...

Has left one calling
card too many.

[Tense music playing]

[Canfield] Manassas,
gettysburg, vicksburg,

bull run.

I bled.

I watched my friends die.

All because of him.

But I
survived, all because of you, Alicia.

No.

[Bugle playing]

No?

But you are Alicia.

Either that,

or some cunning imposter.

An agent of the enemy,

delivered into
my hands to deceive me.

In which case...

But that won't
be necessary, will it?

You are Alicia, aren't you?

[Horn blows]

You got here
by 9 o'clock, you were on the dance floor,

and you heard the scream coming from that
area over there.

[Man] Okay.

Thank you very much, sir.

- Have you seen Jennifer?
- No.

Officer, my wife is missing.

Mine likewise. Sir, I
haven't seen my wife since the mardi gras.

If you'll stand right over there, I'll get
to you in just a few seconds.

All right, sir.

[Tense music playing]

[Canfield] The Yankees burned the
alcove. It was years ago, my love.

They cut down the grove.

But I swear to you
as a canfield,

I shall replant
that grove as it was.

Let us drink to gray oaks.

[Liquid pouring]

To gray oaks,

as it was, and
as it shall be again.

[Ominous music playing]

[Max] Gray oaks?

Mr. H, gray
oaks ain't real. It's a place in a story.

I know that, Max.

It's in heart's desire.

It's near New
Orleans, but where?

Let me think.

[Jonathan] Would you think fast, Max?
It's important.

[Max] I am thinking fast.

I think it's, uh, a little
bit south of the city...

South of the city?

[Max] ...In a swamp
near the river,

and there's a Paris
cemetery right next to it.

Thanks, Max. Thanks.

Look, Mr. H, uh,
this ain't real.

It's all make-believe.

Mr. H?

Mr. H?

[Barking]

[Ominous music playing]

Do you remember
the night, heh...

The night of the cotillion,

when major
Howard was high as a Georgia pine?

He brought his horse
out onto the dance floor.

Mr. Canfield.

I mean...

Mr. Canfield, I'm not Alicia.

I'm just dressed
up to look like her.

Don't try to deceive me.

But you never
used to wear gloves.

Oh...

A lady always
wears gloves to a ball.

This ring. He must
have give you this ring.

You married him. Why?

Because... and there
can only be one reason,

because you wanted to.

He's here in New Orleans.

He's the one
you were dancing with on the riverboat.

That's him. That's
general wharton.

[Tense music playing]

[Faint thud] [Ominous
music playing]

Canfield.

General wharton.

I promised Alicia
you'd never set foot in gray oaks again.

[Grunts]

[Tense music playing]

[Swords clanking]

[Both grunt]

[Jennifer coughing]

[Grunts]

Hurry, Alicia.

[Jennifer] Jonathan!

Canfield!

Come on, darling.

[Jennifer] Jonathan...

[Jonathan] Keep
going. Don't look back.

- [Jennifer gasps]
- [Jonathan] Come on.

[Jennifer] Oh.

[Panting] Oh.

- [Jonathan coughing]
- Oh.

[Jonathan] Whew.

Oh. Well,

the plantation's gonna
need a fire department.

What about James?

With a doctor and the police,

I don't think
he'll lack attention.

What should we do now?

Well, I don't know about you,

but I could use a bourbon
and branch water.

Wait till we get home.

You mean tomorrow?

Well, look at it this way, tomorrow is
another day.

[Ambient music playing]

[Music playing]

Mail call.

[Jennifer] Mm.

Thanks, Max.Great.

Thanks, Max.

Oh, here it is.

A letter from
the professor. I hope it's good news.

I wonder what he's up to now.

Well, it's not exactly
what he's been up to,

it's what I've been up to.

Darling,

I wrote the first chapter
of a romance novel,

just like heart's desire.

No kidding.
When did you have time to do that?

Well, I fit it in.

That's great, Mrs. H.

No,
we'll see how great it is when I read

what the professor
has to say. He's the expert.

I wanted his expert advice

on whether or
not I should continue.

- Ah.
- Well, what does he have to say?

"Dear Jennifer.
Your style is crisp,

clear and clean, and will appeal
to every admirer of Fitzgerald,

Hemingway and twain."

Not bad.

"However, admirers
of these authors

simply do not
read romance novels.

I suggest you
abandon this project,

and return
to the kind of writing

taught in my class.

In other words,
don't do as I do,

do as I say.
Much love, Elliott."

What does he know?

Well,

he did sell millions
of paperbacks.

Well, darling,

maybe you're the hardcover type.

Don't worry, Mrs. H.

If he can write
like Victoria Gregory,

you can write like...
Like Mickey spillane.

[Music playing]

[Theme music playing]

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