All language subtitles for The Orchard 2016

Yeah, she's a moron,
she's an angry, entitled,

A-list moron
so just tread lightly, okay?

Flutter. Flutter around her.
Don't touch the ground.

No, don't worry
about that though.

You've got Banks, Bates,
and Meyers. It's enough

eye candy to gain 10 pounds.
Right, I understand.

I know that you're
worried about that.

Trust me, okay?

Yes, three weeks, that's it.
Three weeks.

Three weeks of your life,
make me happy.

Make me happy,
it's three weeks of your life,

Jason, come on.

Hold on.

Honey, if there's a little
red squiggly line

under a word it means
there's a problem, okay?

No, you want her
on the pills, Jason,

on the pills she is manageable.

Off the pills she is Regan.

The Exorcist.

Yes, okay but what else
is there to think about?

Yes, I know. I know they are.

Okay, but look you've been
attached to this thing

for three years okay?

This is great.
It is finally getting made,

we have put a kickass package

together and... yes,
even with her.

Yep, okay, fantastic.

So can we finish
this thing or what?

No, not yet.

I'm pretty sure you
were told to zip this up.

Do you still collect naval lint?

Hey man, I'm just saying.

What are you saying, Ryan?

I'm saying that a lot of us
have worked pretty hard on this.

We're all kind of
waiting to get paid.

There are always going
to be people like you

waiting for people like me
to finish things

that they've started so that
you can dot, dot, dot, okay?

You're a panoramic prick, Max.

Thank you shut the door
on your way out.

Yeah, you got it man.

You...

I'm Max Roth.

As a kid I was obsessed
with movies.

Almost to the point
of freakish cinematic mutation.

Obviously I thought
I would become an actor,

but that was weird
and emotional.

Then I thought I would
just become a movie star,

which is way harder
than you'd think.

What I really wanted was
to be a writer.

But...

Hey sexy.

Hey, where's the Belvedere?

I think we finished it.

- Oh, you mean you finished it?
- Okay.

So, why don't you go out
and get me some more?

- But I'm...
- I'll see you when you get back.

Holy shit!

Who sent all these?

Sterling.

What's wrong with PDFs?

He thinks you might
actually read hard copies.

Well, waste of trees?

I'm taking your car.

Okay, hurry up.

Fucking asshole.

Fuck.

Ha!

Yeah, no. Day's over.

You don't want me
to do this, Olive.

Oh, what are you
gonna do, dumb-ass?

- Constable Dundas.
- Yeah.

This orchard's gone, Olive.

May wrote her will a long
time ago and you aren't in it.

You can't chain yourself
to a peach tree

and hope that changes.

I don't want to own
the property cum, bubble,

I want to protect it.

Well, there's not much
you can do about that.

Bullshit! Arrest me.

Go ahead.

Yeah, come on, pull out
the cuffs, arrest me ociffer!

I've been a bad girl.

Look, I've got 20 people
who will witness and record it.

I will scream bloody murder.

You'll be up shit creek
without a boat.

- Paddle.
- Both.

Where are my people!

Buck, buck, buck,

I'm giving the signal,
where are my people?

Ah, Jesus Christ, Olive.

Get that thing
out of my face, Stefan.

It's Stilts, Mr. Pancetta.

This isn't your property, Olive.

It isn't yours either, Dumbass!

And if I'm not mistaken,

legally speaking you need the
owner's consent to remove me.

So take a hike, loser!

You want to spend the rest
of the weekend out here chained

to a tree pissing
where you stand be my guest!

I don't know, is that
what it's gonna take?

Is it gonna take all weekend
for you people to smarten up?

- Don't eat any beans.
- Oh, bite me!

What?

Hey, Dad.

Ah, Max, how are you?

- How are you doing?
- How's things?

DOD has traditional marketing.

DOA so everyone
is freaking out a bit, but.

Well, there's always something.

Yes, there is. How's Loretta?

She's good.

She's learning to speak Italian.

She's... okay, all right,
language for the romantics.

What are you gonna get?

I think I'm gonna
have the halibut.

Oh, no Dad,
you don't want to get the fish.

Fish is fine.

Yeah, if you live in
Chernobyl, get something else.

I'm having the halibut.

Dad, it is toxic okay?

How can you willingly,
happily put that into your body?

With a double martini.

I'm not giving birth
in a supermarket.

That's different.

It's a different story
that's why there's not...

You fucking shit!

Ah, yes, that's how it's done.

If only I had hands.
- I'm gonna strangle you.

I smell like rotten peaches you
fucking monkey bitch!

Bad!

Come on, bring him over here.

- Eat the peach!
Eat the peach la chien!

So this is what
I want to ask you about.

What is it?

That's a good question.

So I've inherited property.

Looks that way, yes.

In Canada.

- Central B.C.
Okanagan actually.

It's beautiful up there.
- Yeah, I barely remember it.

Poor May, she was
an interesting woman.

Unbridled.

She loved Canada, was nuts
about the people up there.

You spent some time
with her up there, you know?

When you were very young.
- Yeah, I remember it.

The...
fruit orchard or whatever.

Peaches, but yes. Thank you.

There you are gentlemen,
have a good day.

Okay so why in the
world is she leaving it to me?

I think it's best you
talk to your mom.

Okay, obviously I want
to sell it.

What? You don't want to run
a fruit stand up in Canada?

There are so many retorts
to that question

I don't know where to begin.

Wow.

How do you feel about this?

How do you feel about this?

Well, we hadn't spoken in years.

I was notified when she died

but I wasn't informed
of a funeral of any kind so...

Okay, so why did she pick me?

Honestly, I don't know, Max,

she was my sister
but we were never close.

I think it was easier
for strangers

to know her then the rest of us.

We spent some summers
there in the Okanagan

when you were younger,

and you loved it,
but you loved everything then.

I'm selling it.

Okay.

You don't think
I should sell it?

You just said you were.

Oh, my God, Mom,
I don't have time for this.

Why is talking to me
such a chore?

- Nope, I got to go.
I'll let you know what happens.

Love you.

Yep.

Don, we're all here.

I have Mr. Chan
and Mr. Tsang with me

and we're all very excited
to see this.

They want me to let you know

that they're very excited
about this

and money is no problem,
and they're very excited.

Okay, hold on, Tarek,
I'll put you on camera here.

Okay, now this one's not
on the market yet.

It's a sneak peek okay,
sneak peek.

Not on the market yet
but it will be soon.

They're very curious
about the surroundings.

It's 20 acres, not the
biggest orchard in the area

but definitely
has the best peaches.

No fruit, they don't want
to see fruit. They don't care.

They want to see
the highway, Don, highway.

- Okay, okay, highway, highway.
- Highway.

Here we go, see that okay?

Hey!

Don? Don?

Come back here you little shit!

There we go. Hi, guys!

Everyone's naked in Canada.
- Wait!

AYAYAYAYA!!

- Are you having fun?
- Fly, monkey, fly!

Don't let Monsieur
Cherry catch you.

Hey! Give me the damn phone.

- Monsieur? Le pomme?
- Give it to me!

Hello?

Hello, Tarek?

Are you enjoying yourself?

There's a spa
in Switzerland charges

a fortune
for a good tree bark enema.

Get it!

Put your clothes back on, Olive.

Who's got the key?

Who's got the key, Olive?

God.

You know, you guys
don't own this property,

and it's none of your
goddamn business.

May didn't want this place
sold for development,

Don, you know that!

It must've come up
when she had her legs

wrapped around your waist.

- Excuse me?
What'd you just say?

I'm pretty sure
you heard me, Don.

Now you listen to me,
you little whore.

Oh, I'm the whore?

You ever repeat this to anybody

and you're gonna regret it;
You understand what I'm saying?

Don't.

Jesus Christ.

You get that Stilts?

Oh, yeah.

Shitty time to bolt, man.

Yeah, I'll be able to do
all the heavy lifting remotely.

All I need you to do
is take Jason

and his cronies to lunch,
sign that deal,

and then go out for
a celebratory double scotch, hm?

- Don't do that.
- What?

No sense of humor?
And you have no ass.

Who hired you?

Hey, honey, I can't go to lunch.

I knew you'd say that
so I brought food for you.

I do not eat fish, people.

Cucumber and avocado?

Fine, but we have to head
to my house

so I can pack up
and hit the road.

Wait, what do you mean
hit the road?

Max hates flying.

- I do not hate flying, okay?
Driving will be good for me.

It'll give me some time
to sort some ideas.

Yeah, but that'll just add
an extra day on both ends.

I'll fly up with you,

but I am not driving
all the way up there.

- Don't need you to.
I don't want you to okay?

I'm driving,
leaving today, end of story.

End of story?

Justine kissed Juliet tenderly,

and began moving down
her breasts.

She knew her mother
had just gone to bed,

so it was the right time
for the sleepover to commence.

Juliet licked the
outside of Justine's

beautiful peach vaginy.

As she arched her back
the door opened

revealing her brother, Stefan

ready to consummate the night.

Just all right,
don't, just stop.

Mm-mm, we don't need to stop.

- Just stop it, okay?
- No.

Just stop, okay?

No, I don't want to stop.

- Lana, stop.
- Don't want to stop.

For fuck sake, Lana, stop!

Jesus Christ.

What?

Nothing.

I fucking hate cocaine.

This happens every single time
I do cocaine.

Yeah, it happens every single
time you don't do coke, too.

Seriously?

I am really stressed okay?

And on top of everything else
I have to drive

to fucking Canada to deal
with this shit

so can you please
cut me some slack?

Sure.

I should be back
in less than a week.

Okay.

Don't you want me to leave?

Uhh...

Nope. You can stay for a few
hours,

just set the alarm
before you go.

♪ This road I walk
was made for two ♪

♪ Can you see it through?

♪ You know this world
is here for you ♪

♪ There's not much I can do

♪ So just let it go

Purpose of your visit?

Pleasure.

All right, go on,
enjoy your stay.

That is it?

Fuck me.

I got a bag of explosives
in the back of my car

but please give me
the benefit of the doubt

because you're Canadian.

So nice...

♪

♪ So just let it go

♪ Just let it go

♪ Just let it go

♪ With the setting sun
your fears become undone ♪

♪ So take the last
breath of day ♪

♪ And when the night
begins to shine ♪

♪ And you open up your eyes

♪ The story is underway

♪ Don't look back
just breath it in ♪

♪ Pick up your feet

♪ Realize the pace you set

♪ Comes from your heart beat ♪

♪ So just let it go

I know what you're gonna say

and there's
nothing we can do about it.

She's completely out of control.

She's getting worse, Jake.

She almost blew a deal
for me, you know?

Yeah, I don't know why you can't
just go up there and arrest her.

There's nothing
we can do about it

until we get the
new owner's consent.

- And when's that gonna be?
- Here's a question for you,

Don, why are you
showing a property

when it isn't even
on the market yet?

My client's are
from out of town.

They don't know when they're
gonna be back again, all right?

Out of town?

So?

So until we meet the new owner

as far as I'm concerned
you're all trespassing.

We are gearing up for Peachfest

and we want to know

what's your favorite peach dish.

It could be a cobbler,
it could be a strudel.

What is it, folks?

You could win your free
tickets to the Peachfest of...

Okay, come on.

Come on, work.

Come on.

Come on, one bar, come on,
one bar, come on,

come on, come on, bitch.

Hello?

Excuse me hello?

Hello?

Jesus.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm sorry, did I interrupt like
a pagan sacrifice or something?

Sure.

Okay, umm... so you're

like, very,
very naked aren't you?

- Yep.
- And she's wearing wings.

Is that like a thing
around here?

Definitely.

Good, okay I'm looking
for May sugar's house.

Do you know where it is?

Yes.

Can you tell me?

Or am I gonna get tied up too?

Only if you want to.

I'm good. For now. The house?

Just open your eyes, Max.

Maxwell.

Maximillian?

Maximus?

Just Max.

Oh, okay.

So I should probably
get going so I'm just gonna.

I'm gonna assume you don't want
any help out of those.

That's a big question.

Right, yep.

Sugar wasn't her real name,
you know that.

Yeah, I know. She was my aunt.

Hm, she was my friend.

Sorry for your loss.

- Hey.
- Yeah?

You gonna keep it?

No, I don't think so.

- Hey!
- Yes?

- Go fuck yourself!
- What?

Oh yeah, good luck
selling the place, asshole.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Lovely meeting you.

Fuck.

Dear mother of something fierce.

Jesus.

Oh, my God.

Harold, Maude's been
living in Canada.

Oh, thank God.

Hello?
- Max? Max?

Dad? Hello, can you hear me?

Fuck. Hello?

Max, are you there?

Oh yeah I'm somewhere.

Okay.

Question, what am I supposed
to do with all of this crap?

I don't know, sell it?

Maybe give it to a church?

I could open a museum in here.

Oh, by the way there is
a naked girl chained

to a peach tree
outside the house.

Yeah, that's one of
the reasons why I'm calling.

You know that there's
a naked woman chained

to a peach tree outside my door?

Did I somehow create
my own reality series?

Brian tells me there's some
pretty radical protestors

around those parts

and they're a real pain
in the ass

but they can't do much.

Good to know.

- But.
- Oh, no but.

Someone is contesting the will.

An Olivia Cunningham.
- Really?

British Columbia has
special laws

that allow for variation
of wills.

Okay, does this variation by
any chance require she protest?

No, I imagine
that's just a perk.

Oh, goodie.

Okay, well look I'd love
to get this

taken care
of as soon as possible

so I can get the hell
out of here.

I've got Brian on it.

We'll get recommendation
for some council up there, okay?

- All right thanks, Dad.
- Good luck.

Yep, I'm gonna need it.

And the wet ball bounces
down the stairs.

Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Hm.

Don't get your shoes
too dirty honey,

it's mucky around here.

Okay, come on, come on,
come on, come on.

Come on.

You son of a bitch, come on.

[Computer loses signal]

Of course not.

- You're kidding, right?
- What?

I'm naked and chained
to a peach tree,

you really think I'm gonna drink
from a plastic bottle?

It's French.

Okay, is there a well
around here, or a puddle?

You want me to go out
to the lake?

- You could jump in it.
- Hm.

You know that I can legally have
you forcibly removed, right?

To each his own.

Is your name Olivia
by any chance?

Olive.

Hm, get a little tree
confused did you?

I was just wondering
because I just found out

that an Olivia Cunningham
is contesting the will.

I thought maybe that was you
and we could talk, but.

Do you know how she died?

Heart failure, wasn't it?

Her heart didn't fail.

It stopped.

And not 'cause it was weak.
It was crazy strong.

It pounded so hard
it was like punches.

Do you remember her at all?

No, not really.

You will.

Would you like me to find
a blanket to cover you up?

No.

I need to be naked
in the moonlight

in order to draw power.

Hello?

- Oh.
- Morning.

- Morning.
- Constable Jake Dundas.

Max Roth.

Just came by to see

if you wanted us
to remove your new house guest.

Fuckers!

Well, she can't be comfortable.

No.

And I imagine
that's not very safe.

Probably not.

Suck my hairy bum hole!

Okay, come on in.

She do this often?

- Well, she's a good kid.
- Right.

- Good heart.
- Good.

So you want me to get her
out of your hair or?

Yeah, are you gonna arrest her?

I don't want you
to press charges or anything.

No, no, she's got
an older brother

that usually wrangles her in.

- Oh, good.
- Hey. Morning.

- Hey.
- Jake.

Don.

Nice to meet you, Max.

Thank you.

Hey, you must be
my new neighbor.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Max Roth.

- Don Cherry.
- Really?

- Yeah, man.
- Any uhh-

- Nah, nah, nah,
I get a lot of that.

Okay.

Nice piece of property
you inherited.

It is, yeah.

Yeah, must be quite
a shock for you.

- Oh yeah.
- You American?

- Yeah, that's right.
- Right on.

Listen, I'm here,
I got a group of people,

they want to buy your property
if you're interested in selling.

Yeah, no I absolutely am

but there's a couple things
I got to figure out first.

Oh, don't worry about it.

We'll get over the
agriculture thing no problem.

The agriculture what?

Ah, it's some pesticides and...

- She's gone.
- What?

She was tied up 15 seconds ago.

She must've headed
to her brother's.

- What? Naked?
- She's done stranger things.

Do you mind
if I check inside first?

No, please be my guest.

Watch the weird stuff.

We've got an 1126 in the course

of a 288 call on Lakeside drive
near the fire hall.

Copy that, 15 away.

- 10-4.
- Olive?

My people have prepared
a very generous offer;

I just want to let you know.

And you're not gonna make
any money off this orchard,

that's for sure.
- What?

- It's probably gonna cost you.
- Mm-hmm.

Leave the fruit to
the farmers I've always said.

- Fruit to the farmers, yes.
- I don't see anything.

- Nothing, huh?
- Listen, here's my card.

Give me a call
if you run into any trouble.

I'm gonna see
if she's headed over to Andy's.

- All right, thank you.
- Alright, see you later, Jake.

Nice to meet you, Max.
- Yeah,

Listen,
if you have any questions

at all don't hesitate to call.

- All right.
- All right?

I left my card
on your windshield wiper.

Okay.

Okay, I'll talk to you soon,
all right?

- Take care.
- Okay.

Yep.

I hope you don't mind.

Was feeling a little peckish.

Well, you are a strange bird.

Definitely.

You gonna turn me in, Clyde?

Couldn't if I wanted to.

I don't have any reception.

Holy shit!

No, no, no, shit, shit, shit.

Ryan? Ryan?

Ryan! Can you hear me?

Yes, thank... yes,
how did the lunch go?

What?

What do you mean not good?

No a fuck! Ow, fuck!

Dude a fucking teletubby
could've done that lunch!

No, just leave it.
Just leave it.

Just... I'll call him, okay?

Leave it. I'll call him.

I'll call him. I'll call him!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Beth! Beth!

Hold on!

Yeah, yeah, Beth?

Yes, hi, hi, Max Roth.

It's Max Roth.
Max, Max, yes, Max Roth.

Can you put Jason
on the line please?

Put Jason on the phone
right now.

No, no, no,
I'm not yelling at you.

I'm not yelling at you,
I'm yelling at Canada.

Yes, just put him... I know,
I know, I know I'm cutting out.

Just put Jason
on the fucking line!

Hello?

Oh! Fuck!

Oh I hate this fucking place.

Good. Just fucking good.

Je suis.

What are you doing?

Silly question.

Okay, you're not
very fond of clothes, are you?

Okay.

So what do you remember
about May?

- I told you, nothing.
I was very young.

I don't believe you.

Okay, I remember
she had a very loud laugh.

It was funny,
unless you weren't ready for it,

in which case it was
just plain scary.

She also laughed
at all her own jokes.

Yeah, yeah.

Hm?

Oh, no I'm good.

I'm still good, thanks.

Oh for Pete's sake.

What? I don't eat gluten.

Okay.

Mm.

I think on paper she would've
read as an over-aged delinquent.

But in the flesh it felt
immediately necessary.

For life, you know?
To keep on living.

So you are related to her how?

I'm not.

You're not?

- Mm-mm.
- You're contesting the will.

You can't contest the will
if you're not related.

Oh, I'll figure it out, I know.

I just wanted to buy some time,
let them divide and scatter

while I come up with a new plan.

And have you got one?

- I think so.
- What is it?

Seduction.

Of who?

Of me?

Oh, wow.

Okay, you're very sure
of yourself, aren't you?

- Mm-hmm.
- Hm, good okay.

Well here's
the interesting thing.

That's never gonna happen

because I'm not
remotely attracted to you.

- No?
- No.

So if I pressed my hand
to your crotch right now?

Nothing.

Nothing?

- No.
- Hm.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

This has been super fun
but I got a lot of work to do

and amongst other deficiencies
around here

there is no internet
connection or cell service.

So stellar,
thanks for breakfast.

One more thing, Olive,
I'm not gonna turn you in

but the Sheriff,

he mentioned something
about an older brother,

maybe it's a good idea
to go see him?

Look, I appreciate
that you lost a friend,

and that you miss her. I do.

And I'm sorry about that okay?

I really, truly am
but here's the thing,

I'm gonna sell this property

as soon as I can and return back
to my normal life.

So please excuse me while
I go return to the 21st Century.

Shouldn't you shower first?

You want some company?

No.

♪ But in the all the time

♪ Gonna make him mine

♪ If he'll let me
one kiss and time ♪

♪ I won't tell no one

♪ We'll just have our fun

♪ And that's what you'll
need from me right now ♪

♪ You might not know it yet
But I'm incredible ♪

♪ And I'm determined
to make you believe ♪

♪ I can handle what you
throw at me, mostly ♪

Hey, I've been trying
to get a hold of you.

Yeah, there's no cell
or internet reception.

Look, I really can't
talk right now.

I've got, like, 3,000 messages.

And so when are you
gonna be back?

- I just got here.
- And what's the house like?

- It's weird.
- Would I like it?

- No.
Look, I got to go, all right?

Max, bring me
something back from Canada.

What?

I don't know, bring me back
a little something something.

Yeah, all right I'll try.

Yeah, I got to go, okay?

Oh hey, hey, did you remember
to set my alarm?

- I will.
- You're still there?

Sort of.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Okay, bye.

Hey, Dad, what's up?

It seems you have
a little agricultural issue.

Sounds terrifying,
what does it mean?

- Well I made some calls.
It looks like the orchard

is protected by
the Agricultural Land Reserve

which requires certain property

to be maintained
as agricultural.

Okay, well that
doesn't sound good.

Well, selling it
could be an issue

if the buyer
wants to develop it.

I contacted a friend who put me
in touch with a lawyer up there

who is going
to put the paperwork through

to request it be removed.

Hold on.

Oh yeah, go.

Hey, how's it going?

Good, good.

Anything I can help you find?

I'm good, just looking for
something for a girl back home.

Ooh, where's home?

Los Angeles, California.

All right,
well just have yourself

a sniff around literally

and when something hits you,
you'll know.

Thank you.

Wow.

Yeah.

So why are there goats
on the roof?

You saw goats on the roof?

Yeah.

Hey, Doc?

This guy says
he saw goats on the roof.

I'm Dr. Bark, you are?

Max. Roth. Max Roth.

- You suffer from headaches?
- No.

Gastritis?

- No.
- Fatigue?

- No.
- Stuttering?

- No.
- Diarrhea?

- No.
- Impotence?

[Chuckles÷}.

No.

Depression, stress, anxiety,
or panic attacks?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

All right, so we've got
the straight shooter.

Sweet, succulent, sexy.

Sour peach, sour and it
tastes like peach.

After that the Last Supper,
crucifixion is inevitable.

- Disturbing.
- And Ambition Begone.

It's good. And then Wheelchair,
you can't handle that.

Is that what you smoke?

Wheelchair?

I smoke all of them.

I have a lot of illnesses.

Huh, good.

That one,
could I just smell that?

Oh.

Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

- Which one is that?
- That's ambition Begone.

Yeah, fuck it.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I nailed it.

Get over here.

No problem.

Cookies? Want the cookies?

This is Hemingway.

- That makes sense.
- Yeah, come here.

Now, there's a baby

that's a good baby.

You work here?

Sort of, this is
my brother's farm.

I just work here
every now and again.

You're not in jail.

I shook their tail.

I shook their tail
didn't I, Hemingway?

I'm undercover.

Or at least covered
or something.

Or something.

All right, you want
help back into the?

Yeah, I want help.

I kind of don't
even want to touch him.

Oh, my God, he's a pig.

- Yeah, exactly he's a pig.
- He's just a pig.

Oh, he's so tough.
Look how tough he is.

Look at how... look at the baby,
come on, honey.

Come on honey, you got it.

- Where is he going?
- He's going home.

Oh, Hemingway, no, no, no.

Block him, block him, block him.

Okay. Good.

Oh look at him, good boy.

Come home, baby.

Good boy!
- Wow.

Yes, that's right, come on.

Well that worked.

Are you gonna kiss him?

Okay, you're gonna
get mud on your mouth.

Oh, okay you kissed the pig.

He's got mud.

You're scaring him.

Baby.

Come on, I'll show you around.
- Oh no, I got to go.

I couldn't get signal
at the house

so I have to go home
and get some work done but...

- Come on.
- No-

All right. Lovely.

This is Buddy. Hi.

Hey.

- You want to feed him?
- Sure.

There you go. I just put it
out there like that?

See if he likes me? That's fine.

- You grabbed a twig so...
- All right...

Vineyard up there.

You know, we have these
in California too.

Hi, handsome.

Hey, creature.

Hi.

Hey, you must be the brother.

- Yeah, Andy.
- Max.

- Max.
- Good to meet you.

- Good to meet you too.
- Nice place you got here.

Thank you.

What did you do to your face?

- Kissed a pig.
- You kissed a pig?

- I kissed a pig.
- Okay.

I got a question,

how did the goats
get on the roof?

I'll show you.

You've got a great new buddy!

You okay down there?

Okay you guys, go, yeah!

Aw, she's so heavy!

I've got him, I've got him!

- What's happening?
What's happening?

Hey, you've reached Max Roth,
leave a message and

I'll give you a call back.

Hey Max,

Sorry to interrupt
your little rendezvous

with nature
or whatever the fuck it

is you're doing up there!

But down here in L.A. we've got
a little bit of a problem.

Why? What did you
promise them, Max?

So if you have a minute
can you just,

I don't know, call us back?

That'd be great, buddy.

That is if you're not, you know,

too busy sapping trees
or just being a sap.

Thanks, pal.

What?

Coffee please, sweetheart.

- This wine.
- Yeah?

This is pinot noir.

This guy's winery is, like, just
down below that crest there.

- Yeah?
- Howling Bluff.

The guy that owns it, Luke,

it's just operated with him
and his son.

He gets up at dawn every day
and they work until dusk.

He used to be this huge
investment banker

and he just wasn't happy.

He says if he's having a bad day

then he just has
a glass of wine.

When he's having a good day,
he has a glass of wine.

- Cheers to that.
- Cheers to that.

That's so good, thanks, Luke!

- Hey, Trinity.
- They just, they wander.

Hey what happened to your foot?

Rodeo, world championships.

Wow.

Okay.

Smarty stepped on my foot.

Wait a minute,
isn't Smarty the small one?

Yeah.

He's leading the pack.

He's quick, and he's heavy.

Yeah.

♪

She's here!

Whoo!

Aunt May.

Brave, and greedy.

Misbehaved, poetic,
ravenous and ravishing.

She led us into temptation,
and left us there.

How far that little candle
throws its beam,

so shines a good deed
in a naughty world.

Live.

It's all she learned,
it's the only advice she gave.

[Distant, dreamlike÷}
Like bees on honey...

Just live.

Live.

May the Gods feed her honey!

What's this?

- Revelry.
- What for?

Revel.

To May.

To May.

I have no idea
why she left this place to me.

I'm sure she had her reasons.

How did you know her?

May took us in, helped us out.

Andy and I were in
and out of the system,

we were bounced around a lot.

I was always in trouble.

Really?

And Andy was always fixing
everything, bringing in strays.

That's how he has the farm now.

All those animals are rescues,
and May helped him with that.

Hemingway.

What did she do for a living?

She lived.

Okay, but how did
she make money?

She didn't need money.

Don't be ridiculous,
everybody needs money.

She made things out of...

Well, I guess she gave
people pleasure.

So what?

This place was a bordello?

No.

Well, sort of.

- What?
- Maybe it was.

What? Explain.

Describing it is hard.

Try.

I stink.

I'm gonna take a bath.

Wanna come?

Okay, I'm sorry,
so, wait a minute, what?

How can you just say
that so casually?

I'm supposed to just,
like, follow you

and take a bath with you?

Only if you want to.

Hey, hold on. Hold on.

Hold on.

Hey, easy tiger, hold on.

I thought you wanted this.

I do want this,
but not like this.

- What?
- You're fucking me.

Yeah, you took your shirt off
and you practically, like...

- No, I know that.
But you're fucking me.

Okay, well if you
didn't want that then maybe

you should reconsider
acting like a whore.

Whoa.

I'm sorry, I do not understand

how anybody could act
like that if you don't...

Just slow down.

It's like you're doing something
that needs to be over.

Okay, I am sorry
to have disappointed you.

Do you want to dance?

No.

- Will you dance?
- No.

If I ask nice?

I'm sure I would just
do it all wrong.

Oh, God, you're such a baby!

Will you please dance with me?

Okay, if I dance with you

are you going
to give me instructions?

Probably.

Come on.

Yeah. Yeah - Oh really?

Get cracking, Mister,

we have to meet
in a trial of law.

I almost forgot,
Olivia Cunningham

contesting the will, 10 am.

Bum, bum, bum,
you're going down!

What? I'm American.

Eat your breakfast.

You like your food.

And you like your movies.

You eat a lot.

You fart in your sleep.

What? No I don't.

- Yeah, you do.
- No I don't.

Yeah, you do.

All rise. Third matter

before the Superior Court
of British Columbia Peachland

on this third day of August,

2015 Olivia
Cunningham... Rise, rise!

And the estate
of the May Elizabeth.

Sprag respondent,

and Maxwell Roth respondent.

Everybody here?

Peter Cosky on behalf
of the respondent

Maxwell Roth,

my client is present
as is the applicant,

Ms. Cunningham

but no one is here
on behalf of the estate.

Ms. Cunningham,
do you have a lawyer?

No I do not, Your honor, sir!

You claim to be the daughter
of the late Ms. Sprag.

In order to bring
this application

at all you must be a spouse
or child of the deceased.

Are you a blood relative
at all of Ms. Sprag's?

There's no evidence
whatsoever, M'Lord,

that the applicant
is a child of the deceased.

We have an affidavit
by a Mr. Donald Cherry.

Mr. Cherry, who is a long-time
friend of...

Mr. Cherry was a close friend

of the deceased
for over 20 years

and says he was there

when the applicant
first met Ms. Sprag.

When they were introduced
as complete strangers

by Shirley Cornwall.

If the applicant
can't produce real,

and credible evidence

that she is a child
of the deceased

then her application
simply cannot stand

and this court
has no jurisdiction

to vary the will of Ms. Sprag.

In that case I request
that the application

be denied in its totality.

I tend to agree, Council,

do you have any evidence
whatsoever that you are a true

and legal daughter
of the deceased?

No, I do not.

I'm sorry, Olive,

you got your request Council,

application is denied.

We're concluded.

All rise.

Well, put up a good fight,
Olivia Cunningham.

Ain't over yet, Maxie Pooh.

Now I shall go drink
to my victory.

And I to my defeat.

Well played, Councilor.

Thanks, Max,

I'm gonna need your signature
to submit your application.

Application for what?

To remove May's property
from agricultural reserve.

What?

May's property is on
an agricultural reserve

and Max wants it removed.

- Well, I haven't decided yet.
- May's property is protected.

Max is the property's
owner now, so.

- You knew this?
- Not entirely, I...

You didn't tell me?

I came here to sell the land,
Olive, I live in Los Angeles.

I have a life in Los Angeles.

It's where I work.
If I still even have a job.

You're an asshole.

This doesn't mean
anything, okay?

This is just so I have options.

Better go explore your options.

- Olive.
- Everything okay here?

Fuck off, Don.

How many times do I got
to tell you to watch your mouth?

You watch my mouth, Don,

fuck you, you sleazy,
demented, monarch from Hell.

I am so sick of you.

We're all sick of you, Olive.

Is that right everybody?

Well all right, later traitor!

Olive.

What is wrong with you?

You're drinking out of plastic.

Plastic!
- Here we go.

There's nothing you can do.

You just got to let it
run its course.

She's either got to stay
on her meds,

or somebody's got
to lock her up in a cage.

- Oh, my God.
- Again.

Olive, stop, stop!

Let's just go home, okay?

Don't worry, good
people of Peachland,

my cavalry has arrived
on his high

and mighty steed
to take me away,

make me disappear so you

can all go
on living your merry lives

with your heads shoved up
your assholes.

Yeah. Carry on, please!

I'll take it from here.

Sorry.

Don't! Don't!

Just give her some space
and respect, please.

I can handle it, I... come on!

No, no, don't touch me!

Olive.

Don't. Don't. I said don't.

- I just want to talk to her.
- No!

- You can't talk to her.
- No!

Get your hands off of me.

You need to leave her
the fuck alone!

- There it is.
Hold for awkward silence!

Why don't you
all just dance and play with me!

Open your eyes
'cause I'm the crazy one!

Who are you!

Get a brain!

You're all so goddamned sad!

Just too afraid to show it...

I just want to die...

I'm sorry.

It's okay, pal.

♪ Landslide, wide eyed
running to the end of what ♪

♪ name you, chain you
bottle you up and train you ♪

♪ to be solid upright but
we can't run forever this ♪

♪ face is facing forward but
you're halted to the hearing ♪

♪ Landslide, wild child,
turn your body back, say ♪

♪ "I'm gonna do this the way
I want and never gonna ♪

"♪ look behind" and when you

♪ show this, own this,
they'll run for cover ♪

♪ you're comin'
like a landslide ♪

♪ This is a crucible,
endless ritual ♪

♪ circled by fire, not
asking to be saved and ♪

♪ in your crucible
all is touchable ♪

♪ burn away only you remaining ♪

♪ This is a crucible,
endless ritual ♪

♪ circled by fire, not
asking to be saved and ♪

♪ in your crucible
all is touchable ♪

♪ burn away only you remaining ♪

Aunt May, beautiful.

Hey, Mister.

Twist the knob.

We don't know any...
This cannot exist

unless I'm eating it.

I mean that's
how I feel about myself.

- Hey.
- Hey yourself, what's that?

Well I packed up May's things.

What? Wow.

- Yeah, I don't know.
I just threw in a couple things

I thought you and Olive
might like.

- Thank you.
- Yeah. So how is she?

Why don't you see for yourself?

I don't want to disturb
and I got to get going, but I...

I should probably get going.

Take care, man.

You too.

Hey.

Hey back.

Still feeling crazy?

Mm-hmm.

Want to have some fun?

Yeah, I do.

Oh, my God.

Did you remember this?

Yes, in the window.

I asked her if I could
have it like three years ago

and she said no.

Why would she say no?
She has so much stuff.

She could totally part with it.

You won.

Yeah, I won.

You know that Aunt
May gave me this ring?

She said that she got it
when she was my age,

when she was trying
to figure out

who she was which is exactly
what I'm trying to do.

Carpe diem, it means
seize the day.

- I know that.
- Oh right, I didn't.

Yeah.

She said I'd understand
when I was older,

but that at a certain point it

just becomes silly
holding onto things,

especially when it means
something to someone new.

Then why wouldn't
she give me this?

Come here.

Oh, no, don't don't.

What do you want for dinner?

I'm not really hungry.

I'm trying to work.

I'm not stopping you.

Okay.

So you're writing again?

Trying to.

Well I'm glad that
you're getting back into it.

- I'm not getting back into it.
I'm just trying a few things.

- You know what?
- What?

I don't want to do this anymore.

- No?
- No.

I don't either.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm gonna go get my stuff.

Do you need any help?

No, I'll manage.

Hey, Max, Don Cherry here.

Ah, Don, I will never
get used to that.

So, good news, council lifted
the agricultural reserve

on your property
without a problem.

Oh, okay.

And that buyer is
still really interested.

So you're ready to make a deal.

Yes, look I don't know.

I'm not quite sure
I'm gonna sell right away so.

Well I don't think
you're gonna come down

and run it yourself now are you?

- Yeah, okay.
Let me get back to you.

I'll be in touch.
- All right, talk to you soon.

I quit.

What?

Yeah, I quit.

I quit.

So.

- He quit?
- Hey, get back here fucktard!

♪

- Where you heading?
- Peachland.

What are you doing there?

I inherited
a piece of property there

so I've just got
to take care of a few things.

- Oh, lucky you.
- Don't I know it?

Okay, can you hang
on a sec please?

Yeah.

Okay, so you've been
selected randomly

to have your vehicle searched.

Wow, lucky me indeed.

So if you could please
pull in here

to the secondary
inspection area,

you can wait inside.

You're not listening to me.

- It wasn't mine, okay?
That is the worst part.

- That doesn't matter.
- It does matter.

It matters to me.
- You'll be tagged.

You won't be able
to cross the border,

or any border
until I get this expunged.

So you just sit tight
for a while.

What am I supposed to do
about the property?

Sell it. Contact the realtor.

You said you had
some decent prospects.

Let him sell it, Max, move on.
Go back to work.

No! No, I am not
going back to work, Dad!

Well how the hell do you
expect to make a living?

I don't know, okay?

But I don't want
to chase my life.

I want to be in it.

I have no idea what that means.

I have no idea
how you don't understand this.

I hope to God that
one day you do.

Max? Max!

Don, hey it's Max Roth,
I hope I'm not calling too late.

So I think I'm gonna sell.

- Hey.
- What's up?

May's place is sold.

Oh, shit. Olive's gonna freak.

Gonna be a big development.

Great.

Oh hey, Jake, egg?

Well what did I just walk into?

He sold May's place.

Wow.

What a fucker!

And the trees?

When?

The orchardess and
the pickers have been let go.

Well, let's go get us
some goddamn peaches.

You heard the lady.

- Hello?
- Hey, Fucker.

- Hey, hi, how are you?
You have a phone.

Well, it's my brother's.

Oh, my God,
and you know how to use it.

Of course I do, Princess.

So you sold us out, huh?

What do you mean?

Oh, the land?

Yeah, look I ran
into a little issue

at the border
and well I had to sell,

but hey Don told me
that the new buyers are gonna be

turning it into a bed
and breakfast so that's awesome.

- Don Cherry?
- Yeah.

And you believed him?

Yes?

It's gonna be condos.

Oh, fuck me.

Yeah.

That's not what
she would've wanted.

Hey look, Olive, I really wanted
to get back up there.

I got stopped
at the border and...

- Were you arrested?
- Yeah, sort of.

Cool.

Man, you guys must be
spitting on my name up there.

Nope, we're picking peaches.

You're what?

You're picking peaches?
Are you really?

Okay, that's awesome.

Later, gator.

Terminator.

♪

If I had written this story

I would have saved the orchard,

and gotten the girl.

But you can't write
your own life, right?

Nope.

Nope.

Now what are you gonna do, huh?

You're gonna be a wine maker?
Nope, nope, nope, don't do it.

You are not
Francis Ford Coppola.

Shit, you're not even
Sophia Coppola.

Fuck it, what?

What?

Oh, my God, it's official,
I'm stupid.

Oh, this is so dumb.

You can keep going,
Max, you can keep going.

Nope, you're turning, okay.

Oh, I'm gonna stomp
on the grapes.

I wonder if there's, like,
a making wine for dummies.

Hi, what can I do for you?

I saw a sign off
the side of the road

that said vineyard for sale.

- Yeah?
- You mind if I take a look?

- No, come on in.
- Thank you.

Wow, look at all
these old photos, wow.

Yep.

- These are amazing.
These of you?

Oh, no, not all of them.

But that soldier
at the top over in the last?

Yeah.

And the soldier
in the front are me.

Wow, good looking shots.

What about this one here?
Is this you?

Oh yeah, I was a youngster
a waiter at summer camp I think.

Strapping young gentleman.

Who's she?

The light of my life.

Let's go see the vineyard.

Yeah.

Well, there she is.

Isn't she beautiful?

Yeah, she is.

Can I get you some wine?

- Oh yeah.
- Okay.

I'll get those.

- So, I didn't catch your name.
- Thank you.

Fir.

As in Chekov?

As in tree.

Okay.

Cheers to that, Fir.

Cheers!

Well what do you think?

I like it, Fir.

I love it.