All language subtitles for The Last Movie Stars 1x05 - Chapter Five_ Against the Sky (English)

The trouble with getting
hired to do something

is I don't know what
the film's about. Yeah.

You know, is it about what
a stud Paul Newman is?

Is it about how women get demolished

by a male-driven culture?

Yeah... loving marriages?

Yes. Is it a movie about
Paul or Joanne or...

And it reminds me of this thing

that you said to me a while ago

when I was asking
for relationship advice,

which was that in relationships,

there's always a third person,

and the third person
is the relationship.

It just creates this different person

that is the two people together.

And I wonder if the
movie is about if, you know,

if you can see it as easier to make

being about one person.

If it's about that person,
the person that was...

What?

I think that's what I should do.

"Sometimes a Great Notion."

This was out on the set.

Paul inherited this film.

He was acting in it,

and then they fired the director,

and he had to take over direction.

"'Sometimes a Great Notion'

was a bad, unsettled time.

I was warring with everybody.

I was warring with my agent.

I was warring with Universal.

And I was going through
difficult times with Joanne.

And I had too much pressure on me.

I was drinking much too hard."

Got a beer?

He was drinking so
much, and he was so tired.

Directing and acting.

That he would finish,
look at the rushes,

and then down six to eight martinis.

"I was here in New York,
and I got a call from Paul

saying that, you know,
'Sometimes a Great Notion'

was totally out of control,
that he'd taken over directing.

And he wondered if I
could come out there

and just give him a hand."

"He was really drinking a lot."

"I asked him how much he drank.

I remember him telling me.

Hmm. A staggering amount."

George arrives and finds Paul

basically drinking himself to death.

And George Roy Hill

was a pretty heavy drinker himself.

Yeah. I mean, that's like
Willie Nelson telling you

you're smoking too
much grass, you know?

You know you're in trouble
when he's worried about you.

"Paul is a very angry
man. He's frustrated.

But anger is just another
form of being alive.

I mean, I think you have
to be angry in order to live.

You can't just lie back
and let things roll over you.

and Paul doesn't. He
is a principled man.

And to be a principled
man, you've got to be angry."

Hey! You stop...

"A thick skin had to be selected.

You have to control what
you're going to allow to get to you

and what you're not.

That's probably the reason
I drank as much as I did."

You bastard! That was my daddy's desk.

"I don't know if I should say this.

You decide if you want
to, you know, deal with it.

But he had one family with Joanne

and these little princesses

living in this incredible mansion

on the other side of town
was this house in the Valley

with, you know, two other
girls, you know, a boy.

I always felt... I don't
have any reason to feel this.

I don't have any information.

But I always felt I was
projected into this situation,

that it was...

If it was me, I would
be terribly guilty."

"So, Paul, what made your divorce

from Jackie so brutal?

50% of the American population is..."

"Because it didn't have
any class, Stewart."

"How so?"

"It didn't take the parties that
we're gonna be injured aside

and give them
comfort... by explanation."

"By telling them what was happening?"

"Yeah, but in a way that
they would understand it.

But that's because I didn't get it."

It's not because I wouldn't
have done it had I gotten it."

"How would you explain it now?"

"Well, I don't know, Stewart.

I couldn't create the scene."

Whoa!

That was a very good landing.

You do a job, man.

"One night, he just fell out of bed.

I found him on the floor
with his head bleeding.

And I came as close
as I ever had to saying,

'Well, this is it.'"

Sorry, but I was
forced to kick the crap...

"I just can't stand it.
I just can't stand it."

Come on up. I forgot something.

"It was one of many, many times."

Hank. Let go of me, Leeland!

Hank, co...

Are you all right?

Whee! Whee, whee.

When I dream, I'm still a child.

I can run, I can skate.

Last night, I held hands

with the boy who sat behind me

in Miss Tristrum's class.

And I woke up, and I
was so heartbroken.

I'm an old woman.

Oh.

I won't even dignify
that with a comment.

My God, you're a spring chicken.

You got your whole
life ahead of you yet.

It'll go by like a weekend.

There's no time for anything.

You know, sometimes I
stand in the middle of my room

and I wonder what I'm doing here

with, uh, with the scissors in my hand.

The whole morning goes by,

and all I've done

is take the stockings
out of the drawer.

Listen.

They give you a cupful of time,

you drink it or you
spill it on the floor.

You think time cares what you do?

That won't have to be me.

Got everything? Yeah.

She got so upset with him

that she put us all in the car
and drove us out to Malibu.

And I mean, basically left
him and said, "I'm done."

He shows up at this house
and knocks on the door

and all his kids are inside
and she's there and she says,

"No, this isn't your
house. You don't live here.

We live here."

And he says, "I'm... I'm
coming... coming home."

And she says, "Not
unless you quit drinking."

And he's like, "Uh, I don't
do well with ultimatums."

And, um, and he slept...

I don't know if it was, like, overnight

one night or two nights or
four weeks or what it was.

But he was in the driveway sleeping,

and she would not let him in.

She's like, "There's no negotiations.

This is not a negotiation.
This is... this is it."

And finally, I was forced
to ring the front doorbell.

She answered the door and I said,

"I have no place to go."

And he says...

"How about hard alcohol?

Only beer?"

And she says, "Okay,"
and she opens it in.

She was also very difficult.

"I really hate this," she complained.

"I hate everything about
the promotion tours.

In fact, the only thing I
like about acting is acting."

She was mercurial.
She was anxiety driven.

She could hold a grudge.

She could be very dark and moody.

She could be really charming.

She was fiercely
loving, all these things.

She wasn't easy.

I know it's not... Well,
it has to be a drama.

But what is the message?

Oh, my God. Don't ask me.

What's the picture about?

It's about two hours.

And he made it work with her, too.

And I think that was part of
what he was so intrigued by.

And, of course, everyone wanted to know

what it's really like to
live with Paul Newman.

"We never discuss each other.

We never discuss each other's
film," she would say patiently.

I mean, they were artists.

And so when they got in
a fight, it was a lot of, like,

yelling and throwing,
both storming off.

You know, it was very, like,
romantic and high-powered.

She begged to be off duty

as soon as she introduced her film

at the last stop of the day.

It was 6:30 at the
American Film Institute.

Then she left at the hotel

where her husband, Paul
Newman, was to join her.

No press allowed.

Sally Quinn, CBS News.

Winner is Joanne Woodward

for "Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams."

There's another very important film,

"Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams."

I thought it was some of my best work,

and I think everybody
in it was wonderful

and it was not a success.

And I said, "Well, you know,
it's all downhill from now

because there are not
a lot of parts at that age

or past, sort of the leading lady,

unless you're Jane Fonda."

Joanne, I understand
that a former winner

of the Society's Best Actor Award

is beside you waiting
to give you yours.

In fact, he'd been beside
you for several years.

Paul Newman, please expose yourself.

Good evening, David.

I don't know whether you know it,

but it's not... it's not all that easy

being the husband of a
famous motion-picture star.

Joanne. My love.

"Joanne and I seem to have grown.

We've moved towards
a kind of final solution

to this acting question."

She seemed to have no ego,
yet there was a towering ego there,

one moment filled
with the sense of worth,

and the next simply shattered.

So when she would lapse,

I'd understand and hold her blameless.

And she would
understand me in the end."

Wait a minute. Hold it.

Boy, you look terrific.

So do you...

except you got a little
gray over your ears there.

That's the only difference.

Everything else works about the same.

Rilke said this, "Once
the realization is accepted

that even between the
closest human beings,

infinite distances continue,

a wonderful living
side by side can grow,

if they succeed in loving
the distance between them

which makes it possible
for each to see the other

whole against the sky."

"In protecting yourselves

and not ruffling one
another's feathers,

you can become noncombatants."

I never can get these things off.

Maybe you shouldn't try.

"And you can begin to cater.

There's a sense of
catering there sometimes."

"But whatever it is, it's equal.

I simply delight in her."

"There were times when
Paul and I both had to hang in,

when it felt like

that the marriage
wouldn't last another day."

"We had to step outside of ourselves

and become aware of three
things that were operating...

my ego, his ego and our ego."

"For the relationship to survive,

we had to put the his and hers on hold

and just go for the our."

I think the documentary
should be about the space

between them,

meaning, "I'm centered
and safe in my life

and we can both expand."

The love expands you, right?

Gentlemen...

start your engines.

I wore my Bubba Wallace T-shirt

in honor of Paul today.

I've been trying to learn

about racecar driving, you know?

Yeah.

Because I just don't
know anything about it.

Yeah, and I don't
know if I even get it.

You're quite serious

about wanting to be a racing driver.

Pretty hard to start something
like that when you're 47.

Why is dance important?

Somewhere inside
myself, for a brief moment,

I am Margot Fonteyn
or Cynthia Gregory or...

I mean, there is
something that you think,

"That's the way everybody ought to be."

Newman worked his way into ninth

in a credible, if not satisfying,

first championship effort.

The only good thing was the bratwurst.

Paul had the things he
loved to do and that was it.

I mean, he wanted to go racing
and get me in his freaking car.

I said, "No."

but that's what he loved to do.

So he would go and do that.

And Joanne loved her theater.

Who are these people?

Fans. I think they're all fans.

I can't believe how often I did this.

I mean, I was at every race.

It's what summer was all about.

It was fun.

Everybody had a good time.

When Paul won,

the kids would get to
go on the victory lap

and we used to all pile in the car.

Like being a part of a circus family.

"The marriage worked so well

because they have nothing in common.

I mean, they really don't
get in each other's way.

The wretched couples,

the couples that
share the same desires,

beliefs and hobbies,

that is the couple that is
headed towards Reno."

Is there one mutual interest
between the two of you?

No.

Do we have mutual interests?

Not really.

Get the fuck out of there, will you?!

Behind the net!

Hey, Hanrahan, she's a dyke!

I know, I know!

One of the secret sauces to Paul

is his just childish sense of humor.

Well, you see it.

You know, that terrific
picture, "Slap Shot."

Him crazy.

"I mean, 'Slap Shot' is a magical film.

I don't know what was magical about it,

just original, sideways.

Don't ever play "Lady of Spain" again!

"Slap Shot," I can
watch that... I don't know.

There was something about it.

That's Paul, right?

You know, you could tell

that he was thoroughly
enjoying that performance

because he could just let it go.

Keep your heads on
the ice out there, will you?

We all know how to play hockey.

Just play it smart.

That's right. Get out
there and stick 'em!

Fuck 'em! Christ!

Let's go! Come on!

- Come on.
- Let's go now.

We need this win, you
know? We got a lot of losses.

Yeah, we got a lot of 'em!

That's what we're
here for, guys, to win.

Play heads up out there.
I mean, let's be smart.

Man for man, we're better than
any fucking club in the league

if we just put our minds to it.

No one's better than us! Come on!

Come on, Braden. Our line's starting.

There's this movie called "WUSA."

He was trying to make a political film,

and he realized the movie's
just too serious. Right.

And then he made
a better political film

with "Slap Shot."

"Alright, I'll make people laugh,

and I'll make the same point
about how fucked up we all are.

I'll be funny while I do it."

Who owns the club anyway?

I don't know. You don't know?

What do you mean?
The corporation owns it.

Who cares. You get your check, right?

That's the spirit, Reg. That's it.

"'Slap Shot's' a complicated piece.

It has to do with our social system,

using the sports world as a metaphor.

The chiseling,

the team manipulated by shadowy figures

in the background

who had no hands-on
connection, no allegiance,

no understanding of that
team or the individuals on it."

My accountant tells me I'm
better off folding the team,

taking a tax loss.

You mean you could
sell us, but you won't?

I could probably sell you, but I can't.

I mean, at its core, "Slap Shot,"

it's a complete indictment
of macho assholes

written by a woman.

The same woman... she won
the Oscar for "Coming Home."

It ends with them all
getting naked, you know,

skating around, like, in brassieres.

- Right?
- Right.

"The striptease at
the end of the picture,

the mendacity of it all had been
so outrageous, so depressing.

Somebody finally had to
just take all their clothes off

and piss on them.

It was an unpremeditated scream
of protest against the system,

manipulation, all the
deals, rituals, and garbage."

Do you have any desire to be bigger?

And what does it mean to be bigger

in someone's case like yours?

Um... uh, yes.

Bigger?

Bigger? I suppose they mean...

You know, somewhere
along that, I think I would like

to have been, um,

yes, uh, able to do bigger roles.

Superstar films.

Yeah.

I really like working on
stage best, and I always did.

So it's kind of nice to
have gone back to that.

I had never done
Shaw, so I did "Candida."

And I'd never done Noel
Coward, so I did "Hay Fever."

Loved it.

One of the loveliest
things for me to have done

was I did "Glass
Menagerie" playing Amanda.

And I had played Laura
many, many years before

at the little theater

where I'd started my career as a kid.

Just a little silver slip of a moon.

When Joanne says

she doesn't think of herself as a star,

she means that she's not considered

by a studio bankable.

is taking a nap.

I support the maid, too!

You wake up Maria, Sonny, I will...

We fired Maria! This is another Maria!

But she is eternally a star

in the sense that she
is a famous actress

and one of the best
actresses and witness.

She's constantly in demand.

Now, I had had almost
an impossible journey

out of situational-comedy television

because I was in a television
situation comedy in the '60s,

and you just simply
didn't get out of that.

So by the time "Sybil" came along,

no one wanted me there.

You could feel it in the room.

"What, are we wasting our time?"

And I will never forget it.

She was sitting on a kind of armchair.

There was no moment
between, "How do you do?"

We were two actors that went... whoosh.

I'm scared.

Sybil?

I hate Sybil. I hate her.

Who are you?

I can do anything. I
can do anything I want.

And I'll never forget.

At the end of this one
scene, I was on the ground,

and I crawled over and I was crying.

And I laid my head on her knee,

and she touched the top of
my head very, very slightly.

And I took her... She
had a long scarf on.

I took her scarf and
wiped my nose on it.

And I had heard... Stewart told me

Joanne had turned to them and said,

"If it isn't Sally, then
I'm not Dr. Wilbur."

That's Vanessa,

and she's got all your
music for safekeeping.

And i-it changed my life.

And all of a sudden, I saw one ant

who was struggling to
pick up this grain of sand

that was far too heavy for her to lift.

And he struggled and he struggled.

And pretty soon, another ant came by

and together, the two of them

lifted the grain of sand

and started to carry it away.

Now, isn't that miraculous,

how much two creatures
can accomplish together

when they care about each other?

I am required by law to advise you guys

that my hands are registered

in the state of California
as lethal weapons.

Do you understand?

Oh, really? Black belt, huh?

You betcha.

A little "Show me yours."

Uh, it's a different ballgame.

I was just... I was just kidding.

I'm a brown belt, actually.
Where do you want me to sit?

That was a very
difficult time for him...

"Drowning Pool."

I remember once we were
shooting in New Orleans

and his kids came to visit.

You know, listen, you're
gonna have to decide

whether it's useful or
not to use this, but...

Because I think it's terribly
personal what I'm about to say,

and I'm not sure I should.

But, you know, I remember
his son came to visit

and his two daughters.

And we had the streets roped off,

and we had the police there.

Everybody in the world was out
to get a glimpse of Paul Newman,

the giant superstar.

And I don't know what
caused the argument,

but he had an argument with his son

and his son, in very loud
terms so that people could hear,

started putting Paul down.

And I was amazed.

I was just... I was destroyed.

I mean, I don't think I want
to tell you what he said.

It was so personal
and private that I just...

I don't think that I should.

I don't think I would
like to remind Paul of it

because it was so disturbed.

Scott sky diving.

Strange.

I never understood
the desire to do this.

"I mean, I've had a lot of people

say to me now, you know,
'What could you have done?'

And there's still a large part of me

that feels I could actually
have done something.

And I think that Paul,

for whatever reason of
his own, wanted him to be

a macho little boy,
an unafraid little boy,

a boy who could
drive cars, ride horses,

all which Scott did
and all of which Scott

supposedly was crazy
to do, but I got to tell you

that there was a large
part of me that wonders.

Just as I have always
wondered about Paul's desire

to drive cars."

There's Paul's car,
which was a disaster

and broke down and crashed
and did everything except win.

"To me, it's like a big
man playing a little boy.

That's the way it is."

gain this experience very rapidly.

The more experience
he gets on the track,

the better he's gonna do.

"And Scott got in trouble

at Valley Forge.

You were so shaken that
you couldn't drive down there.

It was the only time I've ever seen you

unable to drive."

"He had a girl in his room.

That's what it was.

It came hot on the heels of a wreck

that he'd had in Connecticut.

He wrecked a car after making promises

and going back to school
and he brought chaos again."

"I remember at the end of your talk,

after you came to some
sort of an agreement

with the headmaster
and Scott hugged you

and you said that you felt forgiven.

It was such a strange reversal
that you needed forgiveness,

and he was the one at fault."

"Yeah."

"I developed a real affection for Scott

on the film 'Waldo Pepper.'

He was not particularly
well-liked by anybody else."

What are they doing?

"He was alternately brash and reticent,

and there were times
when he went a little crazy.

And Paul tried everything
he could to straighten him out.

I felt sorry for Scott."

We put her up on the wing...

Yeah, and she'll fake
being afraid. Right.

And the wind will blew
her clothes off. Yes!

"He always made a special
place for Scott in his mind."

Jesus Christ! It's one of our men.

Oh, God.

"But you don't do anybody any
good by feeling sorry for them."

"Do you remember anything

about Scott's therapy?"

"I remember

that his doctor tried
to point out to me

that what I had really
better focus my attention on

was Scott's relationship
with his father.

He asked Paul if he
would be willing to come out

and, um, sit with us.

The doctor had a small,
round-like coffee table,

and Paul never met
this man before in his life.

He took off his shoes, put his
stocking feet up on the table,

and sat back like this."

"The doctor was furious,
and he told me afterwards

that Mr. Newman's attitude
made it perfectly clear to him

that he was not interested
in getting involved

in Scott's therapy in any
kind of constructive way."

"Oh, God.

I vowed I would never do this.

Get angry over this lack of
coming to grips with Scott."

"I feel very guilty

that I didn't come
to grips with Scott."

"When Jackie says that therapist judged

that I didn't care about
Scott because I put my feet

on his desk, I asked him,
'Why did I fly to California?

Why did I come to his
office if I didn't care?'

Putting my feet up relaxes my tension

or helps mask my anxiety.

Does that mean I'm any less interested

in what the hell he has to tell me?

How dare he say I don't care?

He was looking at things through
the lens of his own information.

I am one of those people
who don't know things.

My body, my mind just doesn't get them.

There's a lot I don't
know about myself.

I know that I could have
done better with all my children.

I could have been worse.

I could have put them all in closets

and kicked the shit out of them

or performed incest on
them or beat them up.

But I didn't do any of those things."

"I could have been more consistent.

I could have been more understanding.

I could have been more patient.

I could have stopped work
or never gone on location."

"I could have done things that
might have made them different."

"How different it would have
made them, I don't know."

"It just would have had to
have been a different person."

"I was heartened recently
when Stephanie remembered

that when she came
to visit us one summer,

I would come down when
they were in bed and say,

'Oh. What's this? A bag of potatoes?'

Roll them up in blankets
and carry them around,

slung over my shoulder.

They played with delight."

"I don't even remember
doing those nice things."

"All I remember is
telling ghost stories."

I'm thinking of a photograph

that's in their apartment in New York,

the gallery wall of
photographs jammed in,

and my dad did it all himself
with a hammer and nail.

One of them is this
picture of my parents

on the Aspetuck
River in a yellow raft."

"I'm probably not imagining
that my dad has a beer.

Pushing off and floating
down the Aspetuck together

when they just needed to get away.

It was just those moments
which I think, you know,

are the... really the fabric
that held them together."

Fairest voice, softest hair,

eyes the color of the starlit night.

Most beautiful woman
in all of creation.

That's who that is.

I don't want to get
academic about this,

but we have a tendency in this country

to make legends out of
a great many characters.

Roy Bean is something
of an example of that.

I mean, we make... They
become fairy tales, really.

The ancient Greeks

worshipped at the feet of Aphrodite.

They loved mortal women as well.

The same goes for me.

How about the "Time" review?

Of what?

Of "Judge Roy Bean." They
haven't told you about it?

It was a very good review for the bear,

and a rather poor,
shabby review for myself.

Hey, you, bear! Hey, bear!

I'll have your hand as well!

I know! I know! I know!

That is kind of interesting

because it really shows

a complete ignorance about acting.

I mean, there is no...

What? You're better than the bear?

No.

If you... if you're worth
your salt as an actor,

you stand back gracefully
and give the bear the scene.

Who do you think is
the best-adjusted star?

Someone who is not a prisoner of fame.

Do you know what I mean?

I think my father's real good.

You think he's really good at it? Yeah.

In what sense? I really do.

He's very down to earth.

He seems to separate
his professional life

from his personal life fairly well

and maintain some level
of sanity in the middle.

Yeah. Do you think he's proud of you?

He loves me.

Yes, I think he is proud of me.

You know, when your life

is so much playing roles,

it seems like the idea
of being a movie star

is almost like another role to play.

Do you ever feel that?

I feel that, but I don't play it.

That's... that's a real drag.

"In this business,
the division of a star

is somebody like Newman.

He says he'll do a picture,

and you can get $20
million to make a picture.

That's a star.

But then at the same
time, so is Liberace."

This is it. This is the big one.

This is "The Towering Inferno."

This is the picture,
ladies and gentlemen,

that we here at 20th
Century Fox believe

will be the biggest
grosser of next year.

Bigger, we think and hope, even
than "The Poseidon Adventure."

How many fuse terminals did you check?

How many fuse terminals did you check?

How many do I have to?

What was it that actually
attracted you to this part

in "Towering Inferno"?

Can you talk about that?

There's this interview
with Paul where he's...

They're asking why he's
doing "Towering Inferno," right?

It's like, "Look,

it's all anybody wants
to make right now."

It's gonna be frightening.

It's original in that
it deals with, uh...

The adventure is... is
cloaked in an original envelope,

which is the height and fire.

And you feel him... and I see it
in some of his weirder movies...

longing to do something original.

Robert Altman and Paul
Newman are making a film

about the selling of
an American legend.

Together, they are re-creating

the greatest Wild West
extravaganza ever staged.

"He kept saying that
he was playing himself.

He was Buffalo Bill."

That's my star.

He belongs to all of us.

Our star.

America's.

"He kept saying, 'I'm
not playing Buffalo Bill.

I'm playing Redford,
I'm playing McQueen,

I'm playing Newman.

I'm playing movie stars because
that's what Buffalo Bill is.'"

I just looked upon him
as the first movie star

and went from there.

There's nothing the matter
with laughing at your heroes.

And the reason that I'm enjoying this,

probably more than any other reason,

is that it really murders
me and Redford and Gable

and Tracy and McQueen
because there's simply no way

that a human being can sustain

what has become legendary
about him over the years.

"It's about the beginning of celebrity,

of show business and who makes it out?

The agents, the writers, the
PR people, the producers."

You was just in Europe, wasn't you?

Give my regards to the queen?

Yes, they're still
talking about you, Bill.

Can't wait for your return.

Bill, this will be our biggest year.

We're gonna gross over $2 million.

Did I ever tell you
that I hold the record

for continuous riding of Pony Express,

322 miles in 18 days?

"He was determined to strip

any sense of admiration out of the man,

the frightened man
inside the shell of a star,

a man who had tremendous
scorn for himself."

Can he ride that horse right?

But if he ain't...

How come all of you
took him for a king?

Whatever was happening,

at a certain time every night,

I noticed Paul excused
himself and disappeared,

and I finally asked
him, "Where do you go?"

And where he went was back
to his room every single night,

and he'd call Joanne

and he would talk on the
phone for, like, an hour to Joanne.

I said, "You do that every day?"

He said, "Every day without fail."

"Dear love, what a terrible invention

of the telephone.

At least for me.

Tonight I felt as
though I were intruding

and that you really
didn't want to talk.

I loathe my extrasensory perception.

I miss you.

I don't know who you are.

But I miss you anyway.

I just wish you were happy

and that you could say what you feel,

not just what you think.

Me."

"My love, I'm on board the plane

to Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

I stopped off to the P.J. Clarke's

for a hamburger before embarking,

and I must say I was
filled with nostalgia.

I remember sitting on
the curbside singing songs

at 2:00 in the morning.

The Third Avenue
"L" still in operation.

Your apartment on 51st
Street and 11th Street.

Dancing backstage at 'Picnic.'

No one can deny that these
moments exist in time and space,

and for all we know, may be recorded

at electric energy for eternity
at 180 million miles per second.

"We have access to
all kinds of facsimiles.

Tomorrow, next week, next year.

When we get scratchy,

get going with bad solitary dialogs,

we ought to remember
that we had the option

to choose good solitary dialogs also.

The years bear witness to that."

"Funny thoughts at 22,000 feet.

Kisses. Paul."

"P.S. Got news this morning.

Scott went on another
bad, destructive bender.

Is he gonna survive or not?"

"One wonders."

Now, ladies and gentlemen, here he is,

a chip off the old engine block

of his racing-champion
father Paul Newman,

the young actor Scott Newman.

Scott Newman has successfully

jumped his sports car
over three automobiles.

The geometric shape of the universe

reflects the scheme of life.

You've been taught
that they are the same.

You've been taught that
the universe is bounded

by five sides

and that life has but five stages.

Premium the pain of birth.

of the second some.

"Someday the force
of it's gonna hit me.

All of it. It still hasn't."

"I don't know what will trigger it,

but it's still not resolved."

"I did everything I could
to avoid recognizing

that this had happened.

I got a call very early in the morning

and went to some kind of a brunch.

Didn't say anything to anybody."

"The whole thing had been
blunted by all those phone calls

over the last six or seven years,

every one of which seemed to
say it's just around the corner.

Something terrible was gonna happen.

There's been a crash. He's missing.

Nobody can find him.

Calls from his doctors, from Susan.

It just seemed like there was nothing

that was ever gonna
stop that locomotive.

You kept waiting for the final call."

"But when you finally got it,
you almost didn't believe it."

"I had many times
gotten down on my knees

and asked for Scott's
forgiveness for that part of me

which provided the
impetus for his destruction."

"I want to embrace the
responsibility for that."

And you can't unload your
skis when you can't dance,

when you can't hit a tennis ball

or read the signals about your son

until the condition is
beyond reversing it.

And if you didn't get it,

then you are someone
who doesn't get it.

The only thing you can
do is say, 'Forgive me.'"

"And the energy up there
that represents that kid will say,

'What am I supposed to do with that?'

and give you the finger."

"Paul went straight to the mortuary.

He said it was a totally
complete experience.

He said he just really had
to go there and be with Scott.

And he said, 'I suddenly knew him

and I was able to weep and
look at him and love him.'"

"I kept trying to get
myself to go see Scott

in the mortuary.

The night before I was going to go,

I dreamed one of the most vivid
dreams I'd ever had in my life.

Clea and Emily, who
were little girls in the dream

and not the ages they were at the time,

they were going with me
to the mortuary to see Scott.

We went up some stairs into
a room where Scott was lying,

and he sat up and
sort of threw his legs

over the edge of the coffin.

He was sitting on the
side and we talked."

"It was very warm, very loving.

And after we've been talking for
a good while, he began to glow.

And he realized he was glowing.

And he said, 'I think
you better go now.'"

And I said, 'But Susan and
Lissy want a lock of your hair.'

And he said, 'Alright.'

His hair turned into leaves.

And I remember cutting it
and thinking, 'How strange.

Now, how am I gonna
put this in a locket?'"

"I really, really believe and still do

that that was a clear visitation."

"When I heard the
terrible tragedy with Scott,

I went to his dressing
room, his trailer.

And we embraced.

I said, 'Paul, I don't know how to...

I don't know what one says to a person.

I mean, I can conceive
of anything in the world

but losing a child.

I just don't know what to say.'"

He just said, 'Okay, sport.'

I don't have a great
memory about some things,

and I can't tell you exactly
what he talked about,

but it was the first personal
conversation I'd ever had.

It wasn't a deep conversation.

It was really just a conversation

about how tough it is

to be the son of someone
who's an achiever.

You know, he said,

'I don't think I'd want
to be my own son.'"

"And this racing thing
that he's done, I mean,

to start at his age...'

"You see, I think people who
do these things must see living

as very, very dangerous.

It's a dangerous thing to
get up in the morning and live.

It's very dangerous and
you can't do much about that.

But you can get into a
semi-dangerous situation

that's controllable."

This last year, Paul's
fascination with racing

has been such that he's
competed in more events

than he ever has before.

Some people think
he's spending more time

with his racing career now
than with his movie career.

I was worried about it.

I really was seriously concerned.

His whole career looked as though

it was gonna go down the drain

because all he wanted to do was race.

"Life is a minefield.

You can be hurt very badly,

and you can be killed
emotionally in a way.

Or I think that's what people fear.

I know I do.

You cannot make life
controlled. You cannot control it.

You cannot master life.

You can't master
the technique of life."

He's not a lot of spins.

And there's been a couple of times

when we didn't come around.

I'm sitting, waiting, and saying,

"What happened? Where did he go?"

Man #7 "If I do the wrong
thing here, I'm gonna crash.

And if I learn how to do it
right, we're not gonna crash."

"Then it's gonna be beautiful.

We're gonna fly away."

Just drive the race
and try to stay alive.