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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,104
Hey, Jake,
2
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,438
guess who just called me?
3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:05,549
The Jerky Boys. They're back!
4
00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:06,607
No. What?
5
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,509
- No.
- No.
6
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,045
D.C. Parlov.
He's in town for LegendCon,
7
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,513
and he has a case for us!
8
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:13,623
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!
9
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,049
Parlov? Didn't he write
10
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,517
those "Skyfire" books?
11
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,352
I thought he turned out
to be a jerk.
12
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,563
Yeah, but ever since
Jake and I saved his life,
13
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,122
he's actually been very nice.
14
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,623
He even sent me
a Christmas gift.
15
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:26,460
A full-scale replica
of the sword of Opadoma.
16
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,129
- Unh!
- Why are you so excited?
17
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,098
You don't care
about those stupid books.
18
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,508
I actually did read
all of them in prison.
19
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,842
They are the greatest books
I've ever read,
20
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,402
and I've read "Cujo."
21
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,337
Jake and I really bonded
over "Skyfire."
22
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,838
- Yeah.
- Watch this.
23
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,307
Favorite moment in the series?
24
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,142
Both:
The summoning of Balacastro.
25
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,843
Second favorite?
26
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,354
Both: The Scarlet Feast!
- Third favorite?
27
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,147
Both: When you thought Ka'lar
28
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,357
had been swallowed
by the Norolith,
29
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,083
but had just switched armor
30
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,484
with Samling the Betrayer
31
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,153
in the battle of Vorcastle.
32
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,654
Fourth favorite?
33
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,623
Three was plenty. So was zero.
34
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,401
Okay, I can see
that you're skeptical, Rosa,
35
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,593
but how about this:
Come with us on the case!
36
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,671
I know you think it's dumb,
but "Skyfire" is actually
37
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,664
very smart and dark and adult.
38
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,166
It's not for nerds at all.
39
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,567
Ooh! On our way there,
40
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,120
should we sing
the elvish hunting song?
41
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,438
Both: ♪ Sharpen your swords
42
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,872
♪ And string your bows
43
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,241
♪ The beasts have gone away
44
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:23,184
♪
45
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,496
Whoa, look at this place!
46
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,132
Ooh, they're selling moss wine.
47
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,201
I wonder if it's as gross
as the books say it is.
48
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,236
I can never get into
any of this crap.
49
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,713
I think the reason
is because it's garbage.
50
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,349
Rosa, I think
if you just gave it a chance,
51
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:47,441
you would get hooked. I mean,
52
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,353
what is it that you do in
your free time that's so cool?
53
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,155
Fix up old cars
and sell them to celebrities.
54
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,489
That's why I'm friends
with Tom Hardy.
55
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,358
Right, so we agree
that we're all equally cool.
56
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,184
Here we go.
This is Parlov's panel.
57
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,585
"Diversity in Fantasy Writing."
58
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,487
Ooh, the line starts here.
59
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,656
Real diverse diversity panel.
60
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,492
And, like, people always ask me,
61
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,669
"Where do you get your ideas?"
62
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,728
And honestly, Wikipedia.
63
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,663
I always try to pull from life.
64
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,332
Queen Tiffany, of course,
was named after
65
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,600
a lovely hostess that I met
66
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,535
in Bonita Springs in Florida.
67
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,546
You know, I've always wanted
to write a book myself,
68
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,739
but all I know about is cops,
and there are literally
69
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,541
no more cop stories to tell.
Zero.
70
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:21,542
I've actually been
writing a novel.
71
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,344
Wait, what?
72
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,588
You're writing a book?
When? For who?
73
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,247
For me... for fun.
74
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,720
Look, I'm not trying
to be an author.
75
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,326
I don't even know
how to go about doing that.
76
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,319
Parlov! You should show it
to Parlov.
77
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,362
He could probably
get it published.
78
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,522
No, that's crazy.
79
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,258
Like, I'm sure it's bad.
I don't want to be embarrassed.
80
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,726
Terry, you are a great husband,
81
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,594
father, detective,
painter, dancer,
82
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,472
and you're so jacked
you have muscles on your back.
83
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,532
Everyone has back muscles, Jake.
84
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,276
Nuh-huh, my back looks like
the inside of a spoon.
85
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,577
The point is,
you're great at everything.
86
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,370
You're probably great
at writing, too.
87
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,580
I am not showing Parlov
my book, okay?
88
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,973
All right.
89
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,244
Here he comes. Now just drop it.
90
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,412
Sorry, I hope that wasn't
too tedious for you.
91
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,248
It was fascinating,
especially to Terry.
92
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,425
He's a writer,
and he wrote a book.
93
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:02,683
Would you read it? Both: Dude!
94
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,552
Sure. Love to, absolutely.
95
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,995
But listen, there's something
I want you to see.
96
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,555
Come with me, guys, all right?
97
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,323
- Jake!
- What?
98
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,958
Terry, you need to believe
in yourself,
99
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,294
like when Morzak answered
the sorceress' riddle!
100
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,538
She turned him into a tree,
Jake.
101
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:15,796
Yeah, a tree that became
102
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,431
the handle of Prominius' axe.
103
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:19,300
Parlov is so far away already.
104
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,577
Yeah, good call.
Let's go after him.
105
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,336
Hey.
106
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,380
The desk sergeant said
we're hosting
107
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,572
a forensic sciences course.
108
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,441
Yes, taught by Dr. Ronald Yee.
109
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,810
He revolutionized the field
of forensic entomology.
110
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,712
He is a rock star.
111
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,647
Oh, please.
Rock stars wish they were he.
112
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,425
The man can tell how long
a corpse had been decomposing
113
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,418
just by studying
the maggots inside.
114
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,728
I'd like to see
Barbra Streisand do that.
115
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,763
I'm not sure Barbra Streisand
116
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,655
counts as a rock star, sir.
117
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,424
She sings in English.
That's rock music.
118
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,793
Well, it sounds interesting.
Can I sign up?
119
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,462
Yes, you can,
120
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,998
but here's the thing:
If we do well at this course,
121
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,600
we receive board certification,
122
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,735
which makes us eligible
to receive a grant
123
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,704
to open a field lab
in the precinct,
124
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,739
but...
125
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:02,376
Eh... but whenever we have
a speaker come in,
126
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,412
you kind of tend to always
127
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,614
derail these things
with personal stories.
128
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,024
That's how I learn.
I relate course material
129
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,483
to my experiences.
130
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:10,851
Subjective learning.
131
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,586
Millennials.
132
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:13,763
I know it's important,
so I promise,
133
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,356
I won't tell any stories,
134
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,057
though sometimes
they do come in handy.
135
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,659
One time, all the Boyles were in
136
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,537
this fungus cavern, and this
massive mushroom comes...
137
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:21,862
- Charles.
- I am so sorry.
138
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,030
I slipped right into it.
139
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,565
I'll be good.
140
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,434
This is my room,
right over here.
141
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,877
Listen, I need just a moment
to clean up.
142
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,803
I had a female visitor
in earlier today
143
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,439
dressed as Concubina.
144
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,806
She got smears of
green body paint
145
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,508
all over everything.
146
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,610
Everything.
147
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,348
He was talking about his penis.
148
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,558
- I know, Jake.
- He pulls, Rosa.
149
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,484
He pulls. That's all I'm saying.
150
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,418
I can't believe you told him
about my book.
151
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,454
I'm sorry, Terry, but now.
152
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,531
D.C. Parlov is going to
read what you wrote!
153
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,889
How cool is that?
154
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,524
- He's pretty cool.
- Right?
155
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,460
You haven't even told me
what it's about yet.
156
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,803
Well, it's the story
of a Gorgon warrior...
157
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,596
- Awesome.
- Who betrays his bloodline...
158
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,407
- How could he?
- To marry a Cloud Princess...
159
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,608
- He did it for love.
- Even though
160
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,534
- their families are at war.
- No!
161
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:01,811
All right, no more spoilers.
Send it over to me,
162
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,604
and I'm gonna stay up
all night reading it.
163
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,081
- It's only 150 pages.
- I'm gonna stay up
164
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,545
all the next three nights
reading it.
165
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,376
Dr. Yee will be here any minute,
166
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,553
and we need to make
a good impression.
167
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,545
If you need to cough...
168
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:12,813
cough now.
169
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,617
My God, what if I hadn't
said anything?
170
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,885
Don't worry, I got this.
171
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,553
Nobody sucks up like a Boyle.
172
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,389
Our scoliosis allows us
173
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,391
to bow more deeply
than normal people.
174
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,559
Huh, here's an idea:
Santiago and I will impress him
175
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:26,803
with the depth of our
forensic knowledge,
176
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,397
and you can wow him
177
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,699
with your stoic,
silent demeanor.
178
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,434
No stories. Understood?
179
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,802
Stoic. Ah.
180
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,704
Good morning, everyone.
181
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,372
Thank you for having me
at the Nine-Nine.
182
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,840
Sorry I'm late. Just had to deal
183
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,442
with some family issues.
184
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,644
Cousins, right?
185
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,513
Okay, before we get technical,
186
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,723
let's talk a bit
about the history of blood.
187
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,782
Does anyone here
know any hemophiliacs?
188
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,150
So many...
189
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,685
Now, they played a vital role
190
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:52,762
in the development
of modern forensics.
191
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,822
Them and leeches.
192
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,457
My cousin Torvald
is a hemophiliac,
193
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,426
and his wife is a leech farmer.
194
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,969
I say "wife,"
but it's a common-law marriage.
195
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,638
For the longest time,
Boyle wedding ceremonies
196
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,963
were not recognized
in the state.
197
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,865
Well, here's the situation:
198
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,600
Somebody stole my laptop,
199
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:08,502
which contained
the unpublished manuscript
200
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,638
of book 13 of
"The Skyfire Cycle."
201
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,474
The person left this note.
202
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,142
"We have your book.
203
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,177
"Pay us $500,000
in the next 24 hours
204
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,879
"or we leak it online.
205
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,748
The first five chapters
are now up."
206
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,650
They've been downloaded
85,000 times.
207
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,752
Well, we should probably
go online
208
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,896
and read those chapters in case
there's some clues in there,
209
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,156
and also maybe we'll find out
Qwandor's true parentage?
210
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,524
Oh that's already been revealed.
211
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:31,992
No, it hasn't.
212
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,202
Both:
Unless the prophecy of Dorgon
213
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,762
is indeed true!
214
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,430
But that would mean...
215
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,507
You seem pretty calm
for somebody
216
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:38,632
whose book was just stolen.
217
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:39,776
Because I know who took it.
218
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,469
Landon Lawson.
219
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,779
He was on that panel. He writes.
220
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,805
"The Shadowbringer Saga."
It's garbage.
221
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,650
So why would Lawson
want to steal your manuscript?
222
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:47,851
We both have books
coming out this fall,
223
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,510
and we have a rather public bet
224
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,920
about whose is going
to sell better.
225
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,646
I believe he's leaking
my manuscript online
226
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,648
just to hurt my sales.
227
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,192
You should arrest him.
Well, we're not going to
228
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,694
do anything until we've seen
all the evidence.
229
00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:58,852
If this book fails,
230
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,521
that's the end of "Skyfire."
231
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,923
Let's go take
this son of a bitch down!
232
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,526
Mr. Lawson? NYPD.
233
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,795
Let me guess: You're here
about the stolen manuscript?
234
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,931
So you admit you did it?
Well, that was easy.
235
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,966
What? No.
Someone stole my manuscript,
236
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,635
and I know who it was:
237
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,670
D.C. Parlov.
238
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,572
Both: By Zorton's Sword!
239
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,043
It's the exact same note
Parlov got.
240
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,854
I don't see why anybody
would want to steal your book.
241
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,756
"The Skyfire Cycle" makes
"The Shadowbringer Saga"
242
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,157
look like
"The BeastWorm Chronicles."
243
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,917
You see, Rosa,
"The BeastWorm Chronicles"
244
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,127
are one of the more simplistic...
245
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,853
- Don't care.
- Yeah.
246
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,022
You know what?
My books say something, okay?
247
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,933
I was the only one brave enough
to tackle elf molestation.
248
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,593
Guys, calm down.
You're both victims.
249
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,762
Now, do you have
any enemies in common?
250
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,597
Let me think about that.
Parlov is my enemy,
251
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,065
but he's also his own enemy,
252
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,976
because he's such a boring
and repetitive writer.
253
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,936
He just keeps
killing off characters,
254
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,804
resurrecting them,
and killing 'em off again.
255
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:51,948
Because of the Chrysalis Orb!
256
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,040
Uh, sorry.
257
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,775
Police officer, on a case.
258
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,644
But we will need you
to both generate
259
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,987
actual lists of people
that might want to hurt you.
260
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,947
We have 24 hours
to figure this out,
261
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,558
but if we don't, are you
willing to pay the ransom?
262
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:02,992
I'd do anything
to get my book back.
263
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,852
I mean, you understand.
You're a writer.
264
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,887
Do you hear that, Terry?
He called you a writer.
265
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,022
Terry, did you hear? Terry?
266
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,634
Well, Terry's broken.
Write up those lists.
267
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,159
We're on the case.
268
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,961
Welcome back.
269
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,563
So today, I want to focus on
270
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,130
facial reconstruction.
271
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,132
For over a century,
we used plaster casts
272
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,769
to help identify decomposed
John and Jane Does.
273
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,071
We buried my Nana Boyle
at the family farm,
274
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,106
but because of the soil's
high salt content,
275
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,708
she turned into jerky.
276
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:28,976
Never mind. Please continue.
277
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,878
Now, I need one person per group
278
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,121
to have a plaster cast
made of their head.
279
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:35,849
Uh, will he... or she...
Be able to speak?
280
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:36,926
Not while the plaster's on, no.
281
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,085
- I vote Charles.
- Charles.
282
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,087
I was gonna vote me, too.
283
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,798
I mean, I know the plaster
can dry out your skin,
284
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,232
but as a Boyle,
I'm aggressively moist.
285
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,826
Oop, you gotta close
that mouth, Boyle.
286
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,695
Shh-shh-shh-shh.
287
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,963
Keep still and quiet.
288
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,233
Have you been here all night?
289
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,135
We traded off,
and each slept a few hours
290
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,136
right here in the break room,
291
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,705
but we got a lead.
292
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,139
You know Miles Moorgil?
293
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,208
He wrote
"The Nocturine Quartet" novels.
294
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,210
Well, Moorgil is the only person
295
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:07,014
on both Parlov and Lawson's
lists of potential enemies.
296
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,116
Apparently, they each slept
with his wife.
297
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,719
How do these guys
do so well with women?
298
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,162
Oh, I'm sorry
they don't live up to
299
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,964
your superficial standards
of male beauty, Rosa.
300
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,232
I'm kidding.
It's because they're rich.
301
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,258
Moorgil's here
for the conference.
302
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,269
We're gonna go confront him
and get the laptops back.
303
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,630
Then, maybe, we can see if.
304
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,097
Parlov read my book yet.
305
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,133
Oh, well, I mean,
it's been less than a day.
306
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,035
Maybe don't get your hopes up.
307
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,713
Don't worry.
I don't have any expectations.
308
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,104
- Good.
- I'm gonna be at my phone,
309
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:33,741
just in case a publisher calls.
I mean, someone.
310
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,643
Yeah. Whatever.
311
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:36,977
It's fine. My hopes are up.
312
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,979
All right, buddy.
313
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,814
I couldn't sleep last night,
so I started
314
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,783
reading Terry's book,
and it's terrible.
315
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,794
I made him show it to Parlov.
He's gonna be humiliated.
316
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,754
Relax. How bad could it be?
317
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,297
So bad, and I'm entertained
by everything.
318
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,157
I once went to a play.
319
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,024
So what are you gonna do
about Parlov?
320
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,793
I don't know.
321
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:53,794
- Don't know what?
- Uh, how to do...
322
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,863
sex... good.
323
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,765
How much should I be
flapping my arms around?
324
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:58,799
- Not much.
- Right.
325
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,067
Well, that settles that.
326
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,202
I knew that Amy was wrong.
327
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,713
Anyways, let's get back
on the case, right?
328
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,906
Skyfire Cycle.
329
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,141
Okay, now that
the plaster's dry,
330
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,853
you'll see why we lubricated
the subject's face
331
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,112
with Vaseline first.
332
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,782
Oh, no, we forgot the lube.
333
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,950
Charles, can you hear us?
334
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,152
What do we do?
335
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,054
Doctor? Uh, what if someone...
336
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,056
No one in this room, mind you...
337
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,826
Forgot to lubricate
before applying the plaster?
338
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,303
Oh, one of my lab techs
made that mistake once.
339
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,162
It becomes impossible
to remove the mask
340
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,964
without literally skinning
the subject alive.
341
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,833
It takes five days
for the plaster
342
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,034
to slough off on its own.
343
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,769
And what became of the lab tech?
344
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,846
Oh, I fired him.
It was an unacceptable
345
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,806
level of incompetence.
346
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,808
Huh, what a satisfying
conclusion to that story.
347
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:41,308
- Boyle!
- Mm.
348
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,076
A mistake was made
349
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,812
and we can't
remove your mask yet.
350
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:45,855
We're gonna leave you in here...
351
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,314
until after the class is over,
352
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,082
because if Dr. Yee sees you
like this,
353
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,251
we can kiss our certification
good-bye.
354
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,854
I'm sorry, Boyle,
355
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,055
but Hitchcock and Scully
356
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,289
will be here with you.
357
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,870
I don't know, Captain.
He seems pretty upset.
358
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,229
- Hold on.
- Mm!
359
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,134
Look how happy he is now.
360
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,370
Yes, you're welcome, Boyle.
361
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,139
I don't understand.
362
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,007
Why do you think
I would steal those laptops?
363
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,009
Parlov and Lawson
are your rivals.
364
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,878
You're jealous of their success.
365
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,288
And of course,
you have a personal motive.
366
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,082
You hate them
for sleeping with your wife.
367
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,017
What? They slept with my wife?
368
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,886
And you didn't know.
369
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:26,996
Well, this is awkward.
We should probably just go.
370
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,288
- Jessica!
- She's here.
371
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,057
- That's wonderful.
- Yes, sweets?
372
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,258
Did you sleep with.
373
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,994
D.C. Parlov and Landon Lawson?
374
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,096
- Uh...
- Why would you do that?
375
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,165
You've ruined our marriage.
You've ruined it!
376
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,032
You know, this seems like
a conversation
377
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,300
for just you two,
378
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,835
so... oop, here comes a child.
379
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:42,936
Mommy? Daddy?
380
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,938
Are you getting divorced?
381
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,774
Are they getting divorced?
382
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,109
Both: Uh...
383
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,878
Oof.
384
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,021
Okay, that was a rough
70 minutes.
385
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,781
Yeah, but...
386
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,281
That kid looked exactly
like Parlov?
387
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,348
100%.
388
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,117
Both: Oh...
389
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,186
Anyways, that was our last lead,
390
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,855
so looks like we're back
at the Nil Caverns.
391
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,323
Did you just say
the Nil Caverns?
392
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,058
Hm?
393
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,260
- Like, from my book?
- Uh, yep.
394
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,172
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I did,
because you told me about them
395
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,131
when you were
explaining the plot.
396
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,375
I didn't, but that's because
I wanted the Nil Caverns
397
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,401
to be a surprise.
398
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,369
Why didn't you tell me
you read my book, Jake?
399
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,071
- Uh...
- Oh, no.
400
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,072
- You hated it.
- What?
401
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,809
Terry, no, I didn't hate it.
402
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,110
I liked tons of parts.
403
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,812
Name one.
404
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,313
Name one part you liked, Jake.
405
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,815
The map?
406
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,082
I didn't draw that!
407
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,393
It was a map
of the Chesapeake Bay
408
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,019
with the names slightly changed!
409
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,888
Oh, my God.
410
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,423
You made me show Parlov.
411
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,993
You humiliated me
in front of my hero!
412
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:42,162
Sarge, I'm sorry.
413
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,239
Look,
I didn't just like the map.
414
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,898
I also liked...
415
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:45,833
the spaces between the words!
416
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:46,866
That's not helpful.
417
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,514
You guys got
a million dollars together
418
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,340
on 24 hours' notice?
419
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,042
Yeah, I had to liquidate
my Bitcoins.
420
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,443
Oh, really?
421
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,054
I would've thought
you'd be flushed with cash
422
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,188
from the "Skyfire" TV series.
423
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,413
Oh, wait, that's right.
424
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,249
The CW passed.
425
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,151
How's the "Shadowbringer"
film coming along?
426
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,053
Howie Long still playing
both twins?
427
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,088
All right.
Let's go over the plan.
428
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,866
Okay, there's a potted tree
on the east side of the lobby.
429
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,434
They said to leave
the briefcase behind that.
430
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,393
If someone grabs it,
Rosa, Peralta, and I
431
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,162
will converge.
We'll be positioned
432
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,030
around the room in disguise.
433
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:19,366
It's not gonna work.
I don't own a nerd costume.
434
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,568
Oh, but Rosa,
you are already wearing one.
435
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,371
You naturally dress
like the female bounty hunter
436
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,506
in every steampunk novel.
437
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,375
Look.
438
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,585
All you need
are welding goggles.
439
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,344
Damn it.
440
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,421
I have welding goggles
in the car.
441
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,447
Shall we to battle?
442
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,184
♪ Mask on, mask on
443
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,585
♪ Mask, mask on
444
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,188
♪ Got your mask on, mask on
445
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,857
♪ Represent, yeah,
gotta represent ♪
446
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,859
To solve that problem,
we would use
447
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,627
fluid dynamic analysis.
448
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,397
That is exactly right.
Well done.
449
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,199
Where's your friend?
450
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,067
Shouldn't he be here
for the plaster removal?
451
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,578
Something came up,
so he had to remove the mask,
452
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,304
which came off quite easily,
and run out.
453
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,139
It was urgent police business.
454
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,349
Bunch of kids
are being held hostage,
455
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,584
so he had to go deal with that.
456
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,076
Oh, well, if you need to leave
457
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,477
to provide him with backup...
458
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,588
- No, it's a teachable moment.
- The children
459
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,579
can handle themselves.
460
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,881
Captain Holt?
461
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,116
Your husband's on the phone.
462
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,483
He wants to know how long
463
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,186
you're going to kiss
for tonight?
464
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,555
Would you excuse us
for one moment?
465
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,490
Your husband didn't really call.
466
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,634
I wasn't sure what
gay guys talk about
467
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,160
on the phone. How'd I do?
468
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,561
Scully, what do you want?
469
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,630
We were watching Charles,
like you said,
470
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,341
but both of us had to
go to the bathroom really bad.
471
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,134
Ugh. Where's Charles?
472
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,135
We have no idea.
473
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,569
Both: What?
474
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,371
- Terry, do you copy?
- I copy.
475
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,206
Seriously?
You're still mad at me?
476
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,574
All I said was "I copy."
477
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,443
Yeah, but you had a tone.
Just admit it.
478
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,620
- Let it go, Jake.
- No, he's right.
479
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,546
Terry had a tone.
480
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,381
Terry had a big-time tone.
Don't worry.
481
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,658
I bet he hasn't even
read your book yet.
482
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,517
It's been two hours. I'm almost
483
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,229
at the front of this line.
I don't even know
484
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,330
who I'm waiting
to take a picture with.
485
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,389
"Bran Stark?" Pass.
486
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,292
Okay,
he's just the three-eyed raven.
487
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,127
Here we go, here we go.
We got action.
488
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,204
He dresses just like you, Jake.
489
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,396
Is that someone popular?
490
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,397
Yes, Rosa, it's Ka'lar.
491
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,507
17th of his name, sworn knight
492
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,200
of the Queen's Crown,
493
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,544
the Daybreaker,
the rightful heir to...
494
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,937
All right.
You can just say "Ka'lar."
495
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,414
Uh, then how will you know
which Ka'lar I'm talking about?
496
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:06,406
It's a very common name
in "Skyfire."
497
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,241
It's like their John.
498
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,709
He's going for the briefcase.
499
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,678
Okay, let's go.
500
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,289
Don't make your move
until you're close to him.
501
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,948
There's too many civilians.
502
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,686
Wait, why are there
so many Ka'lars?
503
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,955
Costume contest just ended.
504
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,499
That's why he waited until now
to pick up the money.
505
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,425
I lost him. Which one is it?
506
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,535
It's the one headed toward
the service elevator.
507
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,161
Hey! Freeze!
508
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:28,728
NYPD. Let me see your hands.
509
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,231
What's going on?
510
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,700
Doesn't have the briefcase.
I got the wrong Ka'lar.
511
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,213
- I have eyes on him.
- Take him down!
512
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:40,340
Wrong Ka'lar...
513
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,575
Boyle's not
in the interrogation room.
514
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,511
He couldn't have gotten far.
He can't see.
515
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,322
You can go a long way
on muscle memory alone.
516
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,714
One time, I sleepwalked
517
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,216
to the M&M's store
in Times Square.
518
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:49,716
Oh, oh!
519
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,485
Stairwell.
520
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:53,486
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
521
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,587
I'm okay.
522
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,588
It's okay.
523
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,324
Sorry, stranger.
524
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,601
I just can't see anything
at all,
525
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,493
and it's really scary
being touched.
526
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,362
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
527
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,639
Just return me
to the 99th precinct.
528
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,532
Boyle, it's us.
529
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,400
Where were you going?
Why would you leave
530
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,012
that windowless supply closet
we locked you in?
531
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,438
Ah, yes, hearing it,
I understand why.
532
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,748
I was trying to get
to the locker room
533
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,474
to steam the mask off
in the shower
534
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,376
so you guys could
still get certified.
535
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,544
Wait.
536
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,679
You were trying to help us?
537
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,390
Even though you'll be stuck
in this mask for five days?
538
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,383
Five days?
539
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,352
Well, I know how important
the course was to you.
540
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,220
It's not.
541
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,022
Not anymore.
542
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,657
I'm so sorry.
543
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,293
I just cannot see at all.
544
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,494
I can't believe it!
545
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,629
Now I'm out $1/2 million!
546
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,431
What am I supposed to do now?
547
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,267
Write another
"Compendium of Beasts"?
548
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,768
Do you have any idea
how hard it is
549
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:45,605
to find enough interns
to slap that crap together?
550
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:46,639
God!
551
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,475
Don't worry about him.
552
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,377
At least we got
to stop that thief
553
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,045
from releasing
any more chapters.
554
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,689
All we're out is some money,
plus I've got insurance,
555
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,248
so I'm going to get it all back.
556
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:56,249
By the way, Detective Jeffords,
557
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,750
while we were waiting,
558
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,395
I had an opportunity
to read your manuscript.
559
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,254
Oh, don't worry about that.
560
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:03,090
It's a work in progress.
561
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,657
Has a lot of changes I...
562
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,426
No, no, no, it was great. Truly.
563
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,528
Fantastic. I mean,
it was so fresh, you know?
564
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,430
It had a really unique
point of view.
565
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,764
I sent it on to my publishers.
566
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,366
Thank you for allowing me
to read it.
567
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,767
And I want to thank you all
568
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,736
for your hard, hard work
on this case.
569
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,338
Appreciate it.
570
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,441
Ooh, did you hear that?
571
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,642
He loved it.
572
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,078
D.C. Parlov loved my writing!
573
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,646
You were wrong!
574
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,815
And being wrong
never felt so right.
575
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,759
Oh, that sounded cool.
Did I just make up a hit song?
576
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,120
♪ Being wrong
never felt so right ♪
577
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,455
♪ With the Addams Family
staying up all night ♪
578
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,656
Yep, I was right. It's a hit.
579
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,558
I gotta go call Sharon!
580
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,360
All righty.
Well, congratulations, Sarge!
581
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,494
And don't forget about us
582
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,363
when you become a famous author.
583
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,332
Terry's writing sucks.
Parlov is lying to him.
584
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,299
What? Why?
585
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,700
I don't know.
586
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,636
He's buttering him up...
587
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,538
because Lawson and Parlov
588
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,706
stole their own books!
589
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,308
♪ Well, they stole
their own books ♪
590
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,476
♪ It's plain to see
591
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,544
♪ But who's on the case
592
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,313
♪ The Addams Family
593
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,582
♪ Terry is Gomez,
I'm Cousin It ♪
594
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,015
♪ You are Wednesday,
let's do this ♪
595
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,265
Why do you think these guys
are in it together?
596
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,833
They hate each other.
They spent an hour
597
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,126
arguing over the name
of the dragon in "The Hobbit."
598
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,161
- "Smog."
- "Smowg."
599
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,595
- Smog!
- Smowg!
600
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,330
- Smog!
- Smowg!
601
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,299
It's "Smowg," by the way...
602
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,834
Point Lawson... but yes,
they're mortal enemies,
603
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,312
which is why they think
we'll never suspect them
604
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,604
of being in cahoots.
605
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,239
Oh, but they cahooted, Rosa.
606
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,708
They cahooted all over us.
607
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,253
Gross.
Why'd they leak their chapters?
608
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,345
To get people excited,
609
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,547
like when Carly Rae Jepsen
puts out an amazing single,
610
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,824
and you have to wait six weeks
for the album to come out.
611
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,384
She's great.
I'm not apologizing.
612
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,286
So Parlov contacted Terry
because he knows.
613
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,188
Sarge is a super-fan
and can be manipulated.
614
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,199
Yes, he's been giving Terry
presents since last year.
615
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,557
And Terry's novel gave Parlov
616
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,558
another chance
to manipulate him.
617
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,360
Unless...
618
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,629
is it possible Parlov actually
likes Sarge's writing?
619
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,631
Read the first sentence.
620
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,300
- Yep, Parlov did it.
- Very much so.
621
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,302
Gah! Now I have to tell Sarge
622
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,604
that his fantasy novel stinks.
623
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,273
This is the hardest part
of being a cop.
624
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,375
Now, there are issues
with RFLP testing,
625
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,677
as there are
with every technique, but...
626
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,579
Captain, I thought you said
627
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,315
your friend removed his mask
and left.
628
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,417
I forgot to lube up his face.
629
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,252
We failed to listen
to the instructions.
630
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,321
That is incredibly careless.
631
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,922
I know, and it means
we won't receive
632
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,657
our certification,
and I'm okay with that.
633
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,692
Unless my honesty...
No, it's off the table.
634
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,728
And I'm okay with that.
635
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,730
Well, anyway, RFLP testing
636
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,741
was designed to localize
genetic disorders, and it...
637
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,735
Ooh, my cousin Donna
has a genetic disorder
638
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,337
where her lips
were made of cartilage,
639
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,439
meaning her mouth
is technically a beak.
640
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,882
I don't see how that pertains
to anything...
641
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,742
No, let him talk.
I want to hear it.
642
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,610
Boyle, tell us about
your cousin's beak.
643
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,846
Well, she runs marathons
644
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,749
to raise money for other people
afflicted with "bird-face."
645
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:43,950
There are only two of them.
646
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:44,784
They're her kids.
647
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,286
Oh, Sarge!
648
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,320
Funny seeing you here.
649
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,656
Oh, that reminds me.
650
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,267
I have to tell you something.
What was it?
651
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,692
Out with it, Peralta.
652
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,361
Okay, fine. Here it goes.
653
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,463
I think that...
Parlov hated my book.
654
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,898
He only said he liked it
so I wouldn't figure out
655
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,368
he and Lawson
stole their own manuscripts.
656
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,778
- You figured it out.
- Well, I had a gut feeling,
657
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,771
so I went digging.
658
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,382
I got a warrant
for Parlov's browser history.
659
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,441
He searched
"how to liquidate Bitcoins"
660
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,643
three days before
the laptops were stolen.
661
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,355
Man, I bet that browser
history was a nightmare, huh?
662
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,913
- Oh, you have no idea.
- Yeah.
663
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,915
Anyway, I questioned them,
and they confessed.
664
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,484
I can't go to prison, okay?
665
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,786
I know I seem tough,
but I'm not.
666
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,288
I went to Bennington.
667
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,021
- Ew.
- I'm sorry Parlov
668
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,390
didn't like your book.
669
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,991
And I didn't. And also Rosa.
670
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,893
Why did I add that?
No, it's okay.
671
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,271
At least I won't waste
any more time
672
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,662
trying to be a writer.
673
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,364
Wait, let me ask you a question.
674
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,908
Are you a better cop now
than when you started?
675
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,335
- Nope.
- Wasn't talking to you.
676
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,704
Yeah.
I look back at my old cases
677
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,739
and I can't believe how long
678
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:40,883
it took me to figure things out.
679
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,017
Yeah, but you worked on it,
680
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,310
and you kept working, and now,
681
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,678
12 to 40 years later...
682
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,314
I don't have a good sense of
your age...
683
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,891
You're a great cop
who got a "gut feeling"
684
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,750
and solved a huge case.
685
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,352
So you think
I should keep writing?
686
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,297
I mean, you might not
become a huge famous author,
687
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,755
but you'll get better,
688
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:56,889
and if it makes you happy,
689
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,691
it can't be that bad.
690
00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,868
Sheryl Crow, she's great.
I won't apologize.
691
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,894
And who knows? Claire Essalgorn
692
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,306
didn't start writing the first
"Crimson Portal" novel
693
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,732
until she was 60.
694
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,710
I started reading it because
the character looks like me.
695
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,769
I kept reading it
because it's so good!
696
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,904
Rosa, you did get hooked,
you big nerd!
697
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,373
This heroine is my heroin.
698
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,007
Oh, such a dweebus. I love it!
699
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:17,744
Speaking of which,
Parlov's laptop is in evidence.
700
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,787
Want to go read
the new "Skyfire" book?
701
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,780
Oh, I don't know.
702
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:22,749
I mean, he's such a bad guy.
703
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,317
Do we even like his books
anymore?
704
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,454
Both: ♪ Sharpen your swords
705
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,921
♪ And string your bows
706
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,523
♪ The beasts have gone away
707
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,492
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
51166
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