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1
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,521
Hey, the guys and I were thinking...
2
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,189
...of heading to Mama Macaroni's
3
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,067
Whoo! Those garlic knots slap!
4
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,278
Don't get me wrong.
I love me some Mama Mac's.
5
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,614
That pomodoro turns me into a pomowhoro,
6
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,199
but one day of pure focus
7
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,744
and we're going to be ready
to terraform Gotham
8
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,078
into paradise.
9
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,372
Uh, so Frank "rising from the ashes reborn"
10
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,082
wasn't the key? He's floating.
11
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,710
Oh, I'm all-powerful.
12
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,961
Check this shit out.
13
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,296
Hmm, ahh.
14
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,881
- Take that, take all of that!
- Wow!
15
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,799
Very cool, Frank. But in this current state,
16
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,509
he can only pollinate this area.
17
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,763
Please, I can easily get down
with all of Gotham's flora.
18
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,556
No dick mist needed! You feel me?
19
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,225
Hey, Frank, you're asexual,
so you'd be fucking yourself.
20
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,602
Well, I know I can do that!
21
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,145
Any-hiddly-diddly,
22
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,814
I just need to increase Frank's
seed production tenfold.
23
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,649
And I'm so close. So if you could just...
24
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,943
He did it! By God, he did it!
25
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,236
Hey, Sy! Sy!
26
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,363
Aye, all this yelling reminds me
27
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,283
of Kim Jon Il's real funeral back in '98.
28
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,827
I downloaded Sy into Cat woman's Smart home.
29
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,538
He can access the entire Internet.
30
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,591
Ask him anything.
31
00:01:22,593 --> 00:01:23,916
Who makes the best burger?
32
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,084
Who won best actor for the 1991 Olivier's?
33
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,212
The horse, Sea biscuit, and a gay man.
34
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,338
- Amazing.
- He's good.
35
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,756
Ive, ask him something.
36
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,424
Those are also the things
that I wanted to know.
37
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,344
So if you guys could just...
38
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:41,058
There's 37 other rooms in
this house, I'm just trying a...
39
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,396
It's okay, Frank. I'm fine. I don't need...
40
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,357
Okay, don't stop. That actually
feels really good.
41
00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:54,947
Ahh!
42
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,617
Oh, my God.
43
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,289
Harley!
44
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,127
What the hell is this?
45
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:12,047
Uh, just the first practice
of Gotham's soon to be
46
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,967
greatest Progressive Alien Death core Band.
47
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,803
We are called The Blackened
Pains of Zeerathan!
48
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,639
Death of Harroc can suck both my dicks.
49
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,142
Oh, they're currently
the best PAD band in Gotham.
50
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,519
Don't need the acronym
explained or repeated to me,
51
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,604
but it is like a touch loud.
52
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,148
Do you want us to turn it down?
53
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,859
I mean, if it doesn't ruin
the vibe or whatever.
54
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,735
- You know.
- There we go.
55
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:37,197
Hey, Ive, you're going
to kick science's ass!
56
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,491
Yes. Rock on.
57
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,789
Hmm.
58
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,834
Oh, I'm seeing something.
59
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,587
Wait, I'm saying it's just
you being a little bitch
60
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,089
and not telling Harley
she's being freaking annoying.
61
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,008
Frank, I like to employ a tactic
62
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,719
called judicious transparency
in my relationships.
63
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,012
Yeah, yeah, I heard of that.
64
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,513
It's called being a little bitch.
65
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,015
Hey, a big part of being in a relationship
66
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,767
is not always telling the exact truth.
67
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,103
And that way you can get what you need
68
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,771
without hurting anyone's feelings.
69
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,302
Also, I just blew up our last place,
70
00:03:11,304 --> 00:03:13,056
so I don't really feel like
being the bad guy right now.
71
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,193
- Oh, my God.
- Well,
72
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,612
you better do something
73
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,572
or you're going to blow this place up, too.
74
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,366
Ugh.
75
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,709
Oh, hey, babe.
76
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,127
Yeah! Whoo!
77
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,545
Obviously, and it goes without saying,
78
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,631
I think it's amazing
that you started a band.
79
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,342
The thing is, um...
80
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,721
Cat woman just texted me
81
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,432
and she said that the instruments she stole
82
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,310
when visiting the legendary
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
83
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:53,398
induction ceremony in 2012,
are off-limits. Dang it!
84
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:56,318
Ah! 2012. A great year for me
85
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,029
and my fellow Cosimo Mat ass a Stanleys.
86
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,990
Ugh! Cat woman is such a buzzkill.
87
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:05,035
Oh, I know! It's like the buzzkilliest.
88
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,579
If it was up to me, I would so let you guys
89
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,332
just shred... ass.
90
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,584
But, you know, she's letting us stay here,
91
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,044
so we just have to accept it.
92
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,005
- Ugh.
- Ugh, stupid rules.
93
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,341
Yeah, uh.
94
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,927
Um, since we can't play anymore,
95
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,429
could someone get me down?
96
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,474
This election,
stick with the mayor
97
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,978
because he's sticking it out for us.
98
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,772
We're getting crushed in the polls!
99
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,982
How is that possible?
100
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,525
Guy can't even piss on his own.
101
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,901
How's he supposed to run the city?
102
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,112
Eh, he's playing the coma card.
103
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,573
Well, our internals show 57% of voters
104
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:44,908
think it's "mean"
105
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,994
you're running against someone in a coma.
106
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,662
Ah! But the other 43 are with us?
107
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,957
No. 20 said they wish
"you were the one in the coma."
108
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,625
Feels like an unnecessary detail.
109
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,377
And another 15 said,
110
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,629
"I don't get carpool karaoke,
111
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,424
they just sing along to songs in a car."
112
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,218
Clearly they thought we were
asking about James Corden.
113
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,178
But regardless, it's not looking good.
114
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,265
All I've done for this city
and this is what I get?
115
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:09,516
Maybe change things up.
116
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,810
Be more Jim and less Commissioner
117
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,478
Bingo. I need to just get out.
118
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,938
Chat with the youths.
119
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,732
Barbara, you're a cool,
hip, popular young woman.
120
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,734
Gather up 3,000 of your closest
friends for me to talk to.
121
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,277
Dad, I don't really have any...
122
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,195
That many friends.
123
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,197
Yeah. I could have guessed that.
124
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,532
Damn it! Ow, my pinkie.
125
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,035
Political campaigns are won with money.
126
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,037
Uh, what about great policy and hope?
127
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,456
Yeah.
128
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,709
No, we need money,
from the filthiest, richest
129
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,754
pieces of shit the world has to offer.
130
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,923
Carmine Falcone, Ra's al Ghul,
131
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,134
or if we're really lucky,
132
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,594
Henry Kissinger!
133
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,054
That monster isn't dead yet?
134
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,680
God really doesn't exist.
135
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,183
Dad, if you take their money,
you'll be beholden to them.
136
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,185
Run on what you believe in.
137
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,103
Justice! Honor!
138
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,563
The rule of law.
139
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,648
You, Jim Gordon, are enough.
140
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,152
Aww. You really are my north star.
141
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,198
Okay, so where are these rich assholes?
142
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,708
Harley, what are you doing?
143
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,752
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just gonna use Cat woman's
144
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,213
fancy Japanese toilet.
145
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,340
Have you read it? I haven't
gotten past the cover.
146
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,550
Is it "I Q Eight Four"?
147
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,511
Konnichiwa, Harley Quinn.
148
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,554
Level.
149
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,889
- Level.
- Ah.
150
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,224
I'll do that for you.
151
00:06:33,451 --> 00:06:35,102
Are you ready to flush?
152
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,064
- Oh, my God.
- Victory! S-level.
153
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,982
That was spiritual.
154
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,776
Everyone's gotta try this.
155
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,445
- Hey, guys...
- Oh, no.
156
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,072
Another text from Cat woman,
157
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,408
says no one is allowed to use
her special toilet. Ever!
158
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,035
Wait, how did she even know?
159
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,912
Uh, so she has, like,
160
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,123
surveillance cameras like, everywhere.
161
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,791
I'm so bummed.
162
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,252
I want nothing more than for all of you
163
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,712
to just go to the bathroom right near me.
164
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,714
Ahh, stupid Cat woman!
165
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,967
What is the point of a fancy Japanese toilet
166
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,762
if you don't show it off? Argh.
167
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,640
Oh, that's some weak ass shit.
168
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,770
That feline freak.
169
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,189
Watching my every move.
170
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,109
Your free cam show ends right now!
171
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,110
Argh!
172
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,168
I did it! Whoo!
173
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,878
You diddled an electrical socket?
174
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:46,256
What? No! I finished the serum.
175
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,591
- Huzzah!
- All right.
176
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,717
- Feels good.
- Kudos!
177
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,552
- Pollination!
- Feels good.
178
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,637
Oh, I'm so proud of you,
my sexy little scientist.
179
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,431
But seriously, what is with the hair?
180
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,225
Turns out I made the serum less explodie,
181
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,186
but not not explodie.
182
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,396
So, Frank's currently in a fugue state,
183
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,565
producing enough pollen
to cover all of Gotham.
184
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,942
And since we have a couple
of hours before he's ready,
185
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,945
I thought that we would go
for a celebratory dinner
186
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,739
at Mama Macaroni's!
187
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,240
- Whoo-hoo!
- Mama Macaroni's?
188
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,159
Mama Macaroni's!
189
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,208
- Okay.
- Ah, yes.
190
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,627
Tomorrow we terraform all of Gotham,
191
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,629
except for Mama Macaroni's.
192
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,880
- Ah, yes.
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,132
I'm gonna bring Frank his garlic knots.
194
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,677
Frank?
195
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,514
Frank!
196
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,769
Hmm.
197
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,232
Sy! Wake up, Sy!
198
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,317
Did you see anything?
199
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,194
I'm plugged in to the World Wide Web.
200
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,529
What haven't I seen. Biggest revelation.
201
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,865
A lot of stepmothers
are shtupping their stepson.
202
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,450
No, you horny smoke alarm.
203
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,953
Someone stole Frank. Did you see anything?
204
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:01,831
I did not but I will
check the security cameras.
205
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:02,999
I never should have left.
206
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,209
I never should've fricking left.
207
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,710
Oh, Ive,
208
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,879
we are going to find
the asshole who did this, okay?
209
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,964
I promise.
210
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,090
Is there a villain
211
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,300
who looks like a static screen?
212
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,677
I don't think so.
213
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,637
Damn. Well, then the cameras are broken.
214
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,638
What?
215
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,724
So, whoever broke in knew
216
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,892
exactly where all the cameras were.
217
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,645
Wow, that is some devious shit.
218
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,064
I think we're dealing with a genius.
219
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,816
They may be smart when breaking in,
220
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,694
but they're not smart when
it comes to securely fastening
221
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,737
festive brooches to their wardrobe.
222
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,573
Wait a second. I've seen this before.
223
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,410
And I know who can help us.
224
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,371
How'd you come up with the answer?
225
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,831
I don't know.
226
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,333
Maybe because my son
can count to fricking seven!
227
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,211
I hate this common core!
228
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,132
No, you keep going, sport.
229
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,009
Papa needs to talk with his guests,
230
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:57,387
who decided to drop in during homework time.
231
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,472
Someone broke into our place
and stole Frank,
232
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:00,807
but left this behind.
233
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,184
And it is the same brooch you had.
234
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,853
Ugh, The Court of Owls?
235
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,355
What is that? Is that
like a bird watching club?
236
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,815
Ha! They wish!
237
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:12,402
It used to be the city's
most exclusive secret society.
238
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,280
Bankrolled some intensely evil schemes.
239
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,491
Now, it's just a bunch
of old straight white dudes
240
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,744
jerking each other off.
241
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,495
Headphones, Benny!
242
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,955
Where can we find them?
243
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,041
Assuming they haven't
changed their schedule,
244
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,293
they'll be having their
weekly meeting tonight.
245
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,961
Wednesday nights? You always told me
246
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,129
you were playing softball.
247
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,797
I was lying.
248
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,966
What grown man plays on a softball team?
249
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,343
So, how do we get into this meeting?
250
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,762
You just need a mask and the password.
251
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,513
Lucky for you, I have both.
252
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,848
Hmm.
253
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,183
Here we are. Hmm.
254
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,185
Saves me a trip to Goodwill.
255
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,394
And what's the password?
256
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,897
The password is...
257
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,440
"Hoot hoot."
258
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,484
Seriously? That's like using
your name as the password.
259
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,403
Harley, you literally use
your name for every password.
260
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:58,990
Are you finished? Well, let's take a look.
261
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,202
Draw a picture to explain your answer.
262
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,828
Who gives a shit?
263
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,663
Ha!
264
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:08,792
Oh, sorry, bud, I had to get that out.
265
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,126
I'll make it up to you.
266
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,670
What do you say we get some boba?
267
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,300
You really think one of these
sick assholes has Frank?
268
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,803
Yes. Just play it cool, okay?
269
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,140
Hoot Hoot.
270
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:34,192
Eyes open for anything suspicious.
271
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:41,741
Okay, everything's already suspicious.
272
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:51,334
It is time for the sacrifice, but,
273
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,878
before we get to that,
just a quick announcement.
274
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,548
Due to a number of complaints
from our newer members
275
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,550
about the inhumane sacrifices
276
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:02,220
we have been performing for over 100 years,
277
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:06,641
a goat pinata will play the
role of an actual goat tonight.
278
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,226
- I know, I know.
- Favorite part...
279
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,438
There was nothing I could do.
Okay, here we go.
280
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,571
Now that the God's bloodlust
has been satiated,
281
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,865
we're gonna jump right into cocktail hour.
282
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,367
Okay, so let's just split up
and search the crowd.
283
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,245
Whoever stole Frank has to be
covered in his pollen.
284
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,872
So let's see if it's one of these creeps.
285
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:32,167
You're still hot when you give orders. Mmm.
286
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:36,546
All right, just go in there and
charm the hell out of those rich dicks.
287
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,631
Wish you told me about the mask thing.
288
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,509
Would've worn my sports goggles
from by b-ball days at the rec center.
289
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,595
Forget about your God damn glasses.
290
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,263
Focus on the mission at hand!
291
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,681
Get that money.
292
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,100
Got it. Just gonna glad-hand
the hell out of...
293
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,103
God dam, son of a... Gun.
294
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,189
Hey, watch it.
295
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:01,029
Hey, Mr. Owl Man. Jim Gordon here.
296
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,489
I'm running for Mayor of Gotham.
297
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,823
We're not supposed to use names.
298
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,783
Oh! Right, right, right.
299
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,036
Eh, you already know who I am.
So, like I said,
300
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,205
Jim Gordon, running for Mayor.
301
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,499
Crime's rampant and the current mayor
isn't doing a dosh garn thing about it!
302
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,626
- Isn't he in a coma?
- Eh, irrelevant.
303
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,754
This damn mask! It does... It doesn't fit.
304
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,632
I think my head's too small? Too... too big?
305
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,927
Wait a rotten ham-hawk,
I know that jaw-line.
306
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,930
That stiff upper lip, those
broad shoulders that look like
307
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,057
they're holding the weight of the world.
308
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:32,143
Bruce Wayne. God, it's good to
see a familiar face
309
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,220
Commissioner.
310
00:13:33,222 --> 00:13:35,230
My God, those
shoulders really are so solid.
311
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,191
Guess I shouldn't be too surprised
to see you at this chichi shindig.
312
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,378
I like to keep my eye on Gotham's elite.
313
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:41,923
Speaking of Gotham,
I'm gonna change the city
314
00:13:41,924 --> 00:13:43,654
and I could really use some of that sweet,
315
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,448
sweet cash that you got in your pocket.
316
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:48,451
Also, not to brag, but my good
friend Batman has endorsed me.
317
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,912
- No, he hasn't.
- Well, he hasn't announced it yet,
318
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,997
but it's coming. Don't you worry.
319
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,418
Gonna figure this mask out then
I'll circle back with you.
320
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:02,340
Hey, just out of curiosity, what
were you doing about two hours ago?
321
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,758
Teaching my kindergarten class.
322
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,386
Oh, wow, that's really upsetting.
323
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,014
Hey, I know it was you, Bane.
324
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,475
Who is this
Bane you speak of?
325
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:16,104
Never heard of him. Though, he
does sound like a pretty cool dude.
326
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,357
Oh, cut the shit. What were you
doing from 5:00 p.m. until now?
327
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:23,987
Well, 5:00 p.m. on Wednesday
is my standing therapy session.
328
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,740
It was a tough one.
Got into some trust issues.
329
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,909
I think you know why.
330
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,038
You won't give me back my pasta maker.
331
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,874
The ultimate betrayal!
332
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:40,044
My therapist thinks we would all benefit
333
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,046
from a group session... Oh, okay.
334
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,008
So you can use any toilet you
want, but I can't use yours?
335
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,676
Good to see you, too.
336
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,012
But I haven't the faintest idea
what you're talking about.
337
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:52,557
I know all about you texting Ivy telling
her I can't do anything in your apartment
338
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,892
including use your fancy Japanese toilet.
339
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:58,646
What would be the
point of stealing a Komon Clean 6000
340
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,398
if I didn't want to show it off?
341
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,941
Wh... That's what I said!
342
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:06,738
Hmm, seems like your problem
might be with Ivy, not me.
343
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,365
I... Ivy lied to me?
344
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,578
- King?
- Why thank you.
345
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,121
Got a clue on our thief.
346
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,248
Okay, 'cause we have not found shit.
347
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,042
Not every camera was broken.
348
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:22,253
Our fancy, sexy toilet has one inside
349
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,380
and snapped a butt pic of the intruder.
350
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:28,635
Hang on, so someone broke in,
stole Frank, and took a shit?
351
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,095
I cannot confirm it was in that order.
352
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,474
Anyway, I did a zoom zoom
and enhanced the tuchus photo.
353
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,059
Sending it now.
354
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,269
Is that a mole?
355
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,312
Bingo!
356
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,439
And this is all you could find?
357
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,400
Pretty good, considering Harley
bashed in the rest of the cameras.
358
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,611
Wait, what?
359
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:51,366
Pretty good, considering
Harley bashed in the rest of the cameras!
360
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,242
Huh, see this? I'm a problem solver.
361
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,079
And I'll bring this kind of
ingenuity all the way to City Hall.
362
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,955
Jim, if I give you money,
will you leave me alone?
363
00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,249
- You betcha.
- Let me get my checkbook.
364
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,755
So Sy just told me something
really interesting.
365
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,465
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
366
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:11,177
That you went full-blown
smashey fit on all of the cameras.
367
00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:14,263
Well, Cat woman told me
the truth about you guys.
368
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,934
Uh... So messed up.
369
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,353
Can we please get out of here
before the party gets started?
370
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,064
Oh, I'd say the party has already started.
371
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,984
Fine. Get our coats.
372
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:31,280
I want to luxuriate in their
emotional discord for a second.
373
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,990
Why would you lie to me about that?
374
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:37,203
I... I didn't lie about it,
I just didn't say anything.
375
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,373
And look, the last time we
hooked up was, like, four years ago.
376
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,499
Wait, what?
377
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,586
Oh! Okay, we can go.
378
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,589
You two used to hook up?
379
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,425
I was talking about the toilet texts,
380
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,678
but you and that furball used to hook up?
381
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,513
Let's talk about that!
382
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,515
- Harley...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
383
00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:00,268
You don't get to "Harley" me. Is
there anyone else I should know about?
384
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,938
Any more shocking sex things
I'm gonna be blindsided with?
385
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,234
What the hell?
386
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:16,743
Let the grand owl orgy begin! Hoot, hoot!
387
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,912
Hoot, hoot!
388
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:48,441
Honey, let's just forget about
all of this and focus in.
389
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,027
Whoever stole Frank has this butt mole.
390
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,403
We find this butt mole,
391
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,739
and then we can just drop this whole thing.
392
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,575
Ooh, there's always a butt mole whenever
we need to talk about something important.
393
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,828
There's nothing more important
to me right now than finding Frank.
394
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:02,246
There's nothing to talk about.
395
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:05,082
Sorry to eavesdrop, but if I'm being honest,
396
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:08,461
it seems like there is a lot to talk about.
397
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,422
This part's always tricky.
398
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,509
Could one of you gals help me
to unhook my...
399
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,260
- Not now, Bane.
- Oh, okay.
400
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,095
It didn't mean anything, it was ages ago.
401
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,973
Look, we've got this extremely
convenient gift of nakedness.
402
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:23,351
Now let's just go and find this mole.
403
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,812
If it didn't mean anything then
why didn't you tell me?
404
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:29,233
Maybe I didn't tell you because
I knew this is how you'd react.
405
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,237
Wow. Just wow.
406
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,365
Shit!
407
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,451
Come on, Jimbo, you got this.
408
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,161
Just talk to a few more people
409
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,955
and your campaign's back on track.
410
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,957
Hmm, first-time jitters?
411
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,000
Uh, let me give you a piece of advice.
412
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,919
Lube, and plenty of it.
413
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,965
Right, gotta grease the wheels,
butter 'em up.
414
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,552
Why the... Ow, why is it so
God damn dark in here?
415
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,638
Looking for money and these assholes
can't even keep the electricity on.
416
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,518
Ah, cheese nuts.
417
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,480
The hell is this? Some kind of Conga line?
418
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,659
Where the hell is it?
419
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,537
Ah, for crying out loud.
420
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,496
Harley...
421
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,422
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
422
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,341
The real reason I didn't tell you
423
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,928
wasn't because I thought you'd freak out.
424
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:45,391
When Cat woman and I hooked up,
I wanted more,
425
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:48,144
even though it was so obvious she didn't.
426
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,730
And so, I waited around,
427
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,648
hoping that she'd change her mind.
428
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,234
And while I waited, I was just,
like, wrapped around her little finger
429
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,486
and I still cringe every time
I think about it.
430
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,656
Could you please keep your
talking to a dull sexy roar?
431
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,160
No! Annihilate my taint.
432
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:09,206
Anyway, after it finally ended
I felt so pathetic.
433
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:12,501
I never wanted to think about it
again, and so when you brought it up
434
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:16,005
I just got defensive and I said
something I shouldn't.
435
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,925
Harley, it wasn't
even a real relationship
436
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:22,345
and I know that because
when we got together,
437
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:27,058
I knew I'd finally found
what I'd been pining for
438
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,268
all these years.
439
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,729
Cat woman didn't mean a thing to me.
440
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,026
But you, you, Harley, you mean everything.
441
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:38,487
Oh.
442
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:47,745
One rule at orgies,
never turn the lights on.
443
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,625
But I was almost done
carbo-loading for the fuckfest.
444
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,175
Ah, hot damn!
445
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,265
What in Satan's asshole?
446
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:11,227
So you didn't get anyone to
donate to the campaign?
447
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,522
No. But I did get a pretty
sweet selfie with Bruce Wayne.
448
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:15,941
Maybe put it on a billboard!
449
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,485
Hold on, there's a better one.
450
00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,030
Huh, I don't remember taking those.
451
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,535
Oh. Gordon, you brilliant buffoon!
452
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,121
There's only one thing better than money.
453
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,622
- Love of a woman?
- What?
454
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,332
No. Blackmail.
455
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:37,294
And now we have videos
of every major player in Gotham
456
00:21:37,295 --> 00:21:39,213
at some weird sex cult!
457
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,632
So that means we can put
the selfie on a billboard?
458
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,301
Oh, that and so much more.
459
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,184
Why the fuck would they do this
460
00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:53,811
on a concrete floor?
461
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,063
I want you to be completely honest with me
462
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,441
and I will be completely honest with you.
463
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,651
Here, I'll tell you everyone
I've ever hooked up with.
464
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:01,986
I'll go from grossest to hottest.
465
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,738
- Oh, please don't do that.
- Oh.
466
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,489
I'm so glad we worked through
this and everything's okay.
467
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,118
- I mean, Frank is still missing.
- Oh, right, Frank.
468
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,830
Oh, hey. What the...
469
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:16,668
Oh, fuck me! Fuck me!
470
00:22:18,052 --> 00:22:21,188
sync and corrections by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
35354
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