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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,019 Lights, camera, action! 2 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,103 Anubis! 3 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:23,565 Citizens of the glorious nation of Anubis, 4 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:27,360 we have caught this American spy crossing our borders. 5 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,287 Your masters brainwashed children, 6 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,789 sent them into battle, in the name of freedom! 7 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,459 As the voice of America, 8 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,961 I proclaim here and now 9 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:49,257 that our nation does not fear Anubis, 10 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,636 but Anubis should fear America! 11 00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,518 The fanatical terrorist group known as Anubis... 12 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,520 - Concerned about Anubis? - Anubis are sheep. 13 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,274 America could eliminate this infestation of cockroaches... 14 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:08,777 ...with a single can of Raid. 15 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,030 Reach out to Anubis Queen about an alliance against America. 16 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,408 Marvelous Man kept the world at peace for over 40 years. 17 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,952 Now the Anubis Queen and the Russian premier 18 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:23,583 are going to spark the nuclear inferno of World War IV. 19 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:29,005 If we go to war today, so will the rest of the world. 20 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,965 We are better than you. 21 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,760 We have bigger guns than you. 22 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:38,223 Our military is far more skilled than your military. 23 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:42,477 Nuclear war is becoming less of a whisper and more of a shout. 24 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,354 In conclusion, 25 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:47,065 if you want some, 26 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,983 come get some! 27 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,740 Well, I am not afraid. 28 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,702 I am an American, and I live in America. 29 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,621 You know why I like America? 30 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:06,292 Only country in world where poor people are overweight. 31 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,337 I like America 32 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,923 but I do not trust America. 33 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:14,050 Did they kill the Marvelous Man? 34 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,011 No, no, no, no, Dash... I mean, Sasha. 35 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,514 He was their golden boy. 36 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:26,354 But if America found a way to harness even 1% of his power... 37 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,567 We must strike first. 38 00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,194 With no mercy! 39 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,072 Cortex, engage. 40 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,159 Danger, danger, danger. 41 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:43,830 Activating Cortex brain pairing. You may experience some violent imagery. 42 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:57,719 Cortex, any luck locating Motion Blur? 43 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,894 I have been unable to locate his heat signature. 44 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,354 He must not be using his powers. 45 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,317 Then he's hiding. Speed needs to find him. 46 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,037 Oh, man. 47 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,331 This motherfucker's no joke. 48 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,440 Have you located Motion Blur? 49 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,364 There's a story about to break, Atticus, 50 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,265 that you're investigating the Guardians. 51 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,726 Your leadership is undermining the team. 52 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:49,771 I can't wait to see how you manipulate your way out of this one. 53 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,903 Breaking news. Knight Hawk is not only investigating select supervillains. 54 00:03:56,986 --> 00:04:00,240 He's also investigating the Guardians of Justice themselves. 55 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,742 Which Guardians are you investigating, Knight Hawk? 56 00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:05,328 If the Guardians of Justice don't trust each other, 57 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,372 how are we supposed to trust them? 58 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:10,750 How did the media find out about your investigation? 59 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,377 Walker. 60 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,505 She's preparing. 61 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,548 For what? 62 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,260 To fucking crucify us. 63 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,013 The world is crumbling, 64 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,809 and if I have to burn you and your friends as scapegoats, I will. 65 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:05,305 Good evening, America. I'm award-winning journalist Van Dawson, 66 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,349 and this is Van Dawson Tonight. 67 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,437 We begin our program with a question. 68 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,690 Who can we trust? 69 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:22,739 The beacon of hope that united our world and kept chaos at bay for 40 years 70 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:23,822 is gone. 71 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,952 And now our last best hope, the Guardians of Justice, 72 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:28,953 are in disrepute. 73 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,832 They are allegedly at each other's throats. 74 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:36,044 Trust in our institutions 75 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,379 has evaporated. 76 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:40,547 Now more than ever, 77 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,633 we must come together... 78 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,637 ...around a common... 79 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,433 - Put 'em up! - Please! Please! 80 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:55,646 No, no. You don't... No, no, no, no! 81 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,314 Fuck me! 82 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,985 This is what you get for insulting us with your propaganda. 83 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,030 Red Talon here. You're probably wondering, 84 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,953 "What's the deal with these Anubis douchebags?" 85 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:09,452 They're pissant terrorist goat-fuckers who proclaimed themselves a nation 86 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,372 forty years after Marvelous Man stopped all the wars. 87 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:16,751 Today, every aspect of their lives is controlled by the government. 88 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,381 They can't even jerk off without warning their dictator, Anubis Queen. 89 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,967 They're the opposite of everything that's dope about America. 90 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,263 They all dress the same. They don't like parties. 91 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,182 They've never heard of beer pong. 92 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,184 They outlawed rock music. 93 00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:34,267 Losers! 94 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:39,607 We need to nuke some star-spangled freedom right up their asses. 95 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:45,780 Mr. President, sir, Sepia Spider has been deployed to infiltrate Anubis. 96 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,491 He'll have intel for us within 12 hours. 97 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,787 With all due respect, we are on the brink of war with Anubis. 98 00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,289 It is inadvisable, not to mention reckless, 99 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,458 to send a barely-trained child across enemy lines. 100 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,876 It's just a recon mission. 101 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,088 Mr. President, sir, it is imperative that we rely on diplomacy 102 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:04,132 and not on masculine showboating. 103 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,217 Diplomacy is for punk-ass bitches. 104 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,654 Come on! 105 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,786 Hey, homie! I got in! 106 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,123 You did good, kid. You found the compound. Now, get back here. 107 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:38,916 What? 108 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,126 No fucking... 109 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,211 No fucking way. 110 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,589 I'm taking these fuckers down. 111 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,300 Slow down. This is a recon mission. 112 00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:48,801 Anubis is too dangerous. 113 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:52,847 Look, kid. I was a teen hero once too. You got plenty of time. 114 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,933 No. No. I don't have the time. 115 00:07:56,517 --> 00:08:00,354 And honestly, you were Knight Hawk's boy sidekick. 116 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,541 Boy sidekick. 117 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,649 ♪ Boy sidekick ♪ 118 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,947 ♪ Boy sidekick ♪ 119 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,992 ♪ Don't you ever let them put you down ♪ 120 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,753 ♪ Don't you ever let them put you down ♪ 121 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,172 Uh-uh. 122 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:28,591 I'm gonna get them. 123 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,384 Do not engage. I repeat, do not... 124 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,828 I'm gonna take these fuckers down. 125 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,517 The government has been recruiting teen superheroes 126 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:42,188 for a covert task force run by Red Talon to execute the president's orders. 127 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,356 Sepia Spider? 128 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,108 Well, he's their star pupil. 129 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,860 Listen, bro, do not engage. 130 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,946 Do not... 131 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,114 Fuck. 132 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,328 I am Sepia Spider. 133 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,629 Sepia smash! 134 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,261 Those green eyes are no match for my Spider movements! 135 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,066 Spider power! 136 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,778 You'll do evil no more. 137 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,690 That was easy. 138 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,361 Punk. 139 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,576 Fuck you, Red Talon. 140 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,754 Okay. Okay. 141 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,841 I surrender. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. 142 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,858 You'll do evil no more! 143 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,770 I surrender. Don't shoot. 144 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,539 Activating stun protocol. 145 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,393 Good will always triumph over evil! 146 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:37,530 Please... please... I want to go... I want to go home. 147 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,198 Child. 148 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,867 Since your masters branded us as villains, 149 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:47,498 we are gonna do what evildoers do best. 150 00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,710 What? Help me! 151 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,548 Help me! Help me! 152 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,394 This cartoon is being hijacked by Anubis. 153 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,817 You are ideological slaves. 154 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,486 A global thought police, 155 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,407 hiding your rhetoric of filthy fucking lies! 156 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,051 Isn't that so? 157 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,919 I'm going in to take out Anubis Queen. 158 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:37,047 You should be looking for Motion Blur. 159 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,300 Our government will handle Anubis. 160 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,762 - No one will see me. - Exactly the problem. 161 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:48,100 I want the world to witness the dismantling of Anubis piece by piece, 162 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,645 just like they witnessed what happened to Sepia Spider. 163 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,815 You're risking more lives, Atticus. 164 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,735 America should be afraid for what comes next. 165 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,778 This is a fight between governments. 166 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,823 Marvelous Man believed it is not the Guardians's place 167 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,409 to get involved in human politics. 168 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,161 I think you want chaos. 169 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,831 A distraction keeps your investigation out of the news. 170 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,429 You know, Speed, you'd get farther in life 171 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,264 if you smiled more. 172 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,192 We resume your propaganda. 173 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,970 Night Hawk knew the war with Anubis 174 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,800 would be won or lost in the arena of propaganda, 175 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:07,346 by splashing bloodshed across America's TV sets. 176 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,432 And thus he called upon a man 177 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,894 who could give the world a spectacle they wouldn't forget. 178 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:15,896 Computer, 179 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,441 locate Red Talon and transmit. 180 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,610 Red Talon, come in. 181 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,612 Didn't I already tell you to fuck off? 182 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,948 Listen. I need your help. 183 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:28,450 Fuck you. What you need is to retire. 184 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,829 I'm sorry about Sepia Spider. 185 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:37,543 Mick, I know he was there on your orders. 186 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,588 No. I ordered him to return to base. 187 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,756 It was a recon mission. 188 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,679 The president is thinking about nuking Anubis into oblivion. 189 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:53,434 What the fuck? Nuking them would make us look like the bad guys. 190 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:54,602 So you take them out. 191 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,271 You've still got that penis-head, lightning-shooting guy, 192 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,565 that rock 'n' roll tweaker guy, 193 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,650 and that hot goddess with no personality. 194 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,860 Yeah? 195 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:06,572 We need to show the American people that they're strong enough on their own. 196 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,824 They need to see a man, 197 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,785 not a super man, stand up to these bastards. 198 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,829 Go in with the Freedom Cam3000. 199 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,790 Fight terrorism with voyeurism. 200 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,084 The ratings will be historic. 201 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,670 Let the world know once and for all 202 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:26,550 that Red Talon is a bad motherfucker. 203 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:37,269 Red Talon! Red Talon! Red Talon! Red Talon! 204 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:45,860 Okay. 205 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,655 I'll talk to the president. 206 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,490 Give 'em a hell of a show. 207 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,700 You always do. 208 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,744 Whoa. 209 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:58,248 I interrupt your programming to bring you a very special announcement. 210 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:02,878 Twenty-four hours ago, an act of cowardice was broadcast worldwide. 211 00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:06,465 The fanatical terrorist group known as Anubis 212 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,051 executed an American hero. 213 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:10,886 The Sepia Spider. 214 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:15,099 Anubis wants us to be afraid. 215 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,937 If I was afraid, would I be sitting here, 216 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:22,564 in plain sight, above ground, 217 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:27,111 in the White House of the greatest country history has ever conceived of? 218 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,405 And with that pearl of wisdom... 219 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,616 ...I take you live to our latest mission. 220 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,870 What you are about to witness is history. 221 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,664 Streaming live. 222 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,753 Let's do this for the Spider. 223 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:02,645 Hey! 224 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,780 Whoo! 225 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,449 That is America! 226 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:21,290 You got your public spectacle, Atticus. 227 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,296 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. 228 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,675 Mom, this is so cool! Bam, bam... 229 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,720 No one will be talking about your investigation now. 230 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,363 What do you mean you lost him? Get that goddamn feed back! 231 00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,787 Little Wing! 232 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,497 I have work for you. 233 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:04,833 The glorious nation of Anubis proclaims 234 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:11,548 that we will slaughter every ugly, obese, capitalist soldier America sends, 235 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:18,430 just like your costumed celebrities, Red Talon and Sepia Spider. 236 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:23,477 Word on the street is that Americans have lost faith in our president. 237 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,318 You little pissant! 238 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,738 If we weren't in this bunker, I'd kick your ass! Fuck! 239 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,447 Let's go! 240 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,496 Rick, I need a distraction. 241 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,414 - Okay. - Find me somewhere to bomb! 242 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,643 - That's a brilliant idea, Mr. President. - You're right. 243 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,709 Just do it! 244 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,231 Okay. Well... 245 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,172 So how do we... 246 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,173 I'll just... 247 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,424 Should I... should I point? 248 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,508 Sure. 249 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:14,486 America is a money-grabbing, batshit-crazy idiot 250 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,531 with big balls, but small, tiny penis. 251 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:23,078 What happens if they decide to attack us next? 252 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,629 Move troops into Canada 253 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:37,384 and prepare V-2 rockets with nuclear warheads. 254 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,802 Move! 255 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,367 It'll be the end of the human race. 256 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,334 I found him covered in blood. 257 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:15,672 The scared little boy I took in after his family was murdered. 258 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,009 I trained him, 259 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,553 made him my protégé. 260 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,723 I loved him like a son. 261 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,600 Like a son. 262 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:33,774 Atticus? 263 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:35,943 Atticus! 264 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,363 - What? - For fuck's sake, Atticus! 265 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,906 I raised him too! 266 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,158 I'm busy, Alex. 267 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,242 You're busy? 268 00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,370 You're completely cut off! 269 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,289 Mick is dead. For what? 270 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:53,418 To have him die in some foreign land, surrounded by strangers? 271 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,962 He died a soldier. 272 00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:57,631 A hero. 273 00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,967 Who are you? 274 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,180 Death comes to all of us, Alex, 275 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,558 one way or another. 276 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,312 And when it's our time to go, 277 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,817 we won't just walk side-by-side with death. 278 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:21,196 We'll race that bastard to the gates of hell, 279 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:23,906 and we'll win. 280 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:54,562 Kill him. 281 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,232 We'll fucking win! 282 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,783 Marvelous Man may be gone... 283 00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:52,621 but something far more powerful is here. 284 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:53,824 And that's me. 285 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:55,874 Boss battle! 286 00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:15,644 What are you? 287 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,670 Reports suggest Anubis Queen is dead. 288 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:45,298 Our source inside the CIA says Knight Hawk is responsible. 289 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,259 Will Anubis end their aggression? 290 00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:50,762 We're hearing that Anubis is releasing hostages. 291 00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:54,349 Terminate our alliance with Anubis! 292 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:55,559 NUCLEAR LAUNCH INTERRUPTED 293 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,773 The world has pulled back from the brink... 294 00:24:02,357 --> 00:24:05,861 Our glorious nation will never be defeated. 295 00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:07,279 The villainous Hawk 296 00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:11,158 is only trying to distract you from his investigation into the truth. 297 00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:16,163 That the Guardians of Justice killed Marvelous Man. 22660

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