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1
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,516
Fuck! Fuck!
2
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,328
Come on. Come on.
3
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,397
Are you sure that we should
be doing this right now?
4
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,432
Okay? There are people
outside waiting.
5
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,334
They're going to wonder
where we are.
6
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,503
All right, we're going to have
plenty of time after the wedding.
7
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,371
I don't want to wait
until after the wedding.
8
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:46,873
I want you right now.
9
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,274
Come on.
10
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,776
Come on!
11
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,212
God.
12
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,678
Christine!
13
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,015
What the fuck?
14
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,151
Hey, I'm so sorry, man.
15
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,620
I wanted to wait until after the wedding
but she wanted to do this right now.
16
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,656
Holy shit!
17
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:07,093
- Bowie, I need you to...
- It's fine, man. I'm gonna get out...
18
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,696
Damn, dude!
That's a big wiener.
19
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,764
- That's a big...
- Come on, man!
20
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,700
- I'm sorry.
- Zip it up, please.
21
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,002
I mean, I don't know if
it'll fit, though, right?
22
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,770
Not the time. Wildly
inappropriate right now.
23
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,572
Can't you just focus
on the guests, please?
24
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,241
The wedding is obviously off.
25
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:24,576
Great. I'm here for you. You're
my little king and I love you.
26
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,246
You...
27
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,148
You're garbage trash.
28
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,549
And I always knew that.
29
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,083
I can't wait to
never see you again.
30
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,988
Garbage trash.
31
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,090
And you, I don't like you
either, but I respect
32
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,051
what's going on down there.
Let's get out of here.
33
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:41,794
- I'm really sorry, man.
- Fuck off.
34
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,096
- Yup.
- Yeah.
35
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,729
So,
36
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,365
you know this is
all your fault, right?
37
00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,276
Hi.
38
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,090
Hello.
39
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,661
My name is
beauregard Pemberton iv.
40
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:18,896
For those of you who don't know me I am
the best man for this wedding betwixt
41
00:03:18,921 --> 00:03:22,992
my dear friend Harry and his surprisingly
accommodating fiancee Christine.
42
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,807
You guys don't get that joke,
that's for sure.
43
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,343
First of all, I'd just like to start
by saying that I am very happy
44
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,911
that everyone from
Harry's bachelor party
45
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,080
made it out and is here
and not dead.
46
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,082
Wes, those eyebrows
are growing back.
47
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,550
Good for you, bud.
48
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,919
Anyway, that's not
why I'm here, guys.
49
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,687
I'm here to
tell you guys a story.
50
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,824
A story of waiting.
51
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,893
Waiting for that perfect moment.
52
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,460
That perfect day.
53
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:51,496
This story is about a young boy.
54
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,965
Let's just call him
55
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,300
me.
56
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,271
This story is about
that young boy's
57
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,272
unbridled love
58
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,909
for guns n' roses.
59
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,511
Now in the mid to late '90s
you guys have to understand
60
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,480
that coming off
the giant success
61
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,549
of both
use your illusions I and ii,
62
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,165
anticipation was high because
this young boy was finally
63
00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:16,589
old enough to attend his
first guns n' roses concert.
64
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,657
Snake dancing
in front of the mirror,
65
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,661
picking out that
perfect bandana.
66
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,930
It was red, of course.
67
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,499
And when that night came for
the concert he was there,
68
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,033
in that arena,
69
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,871
section 352, row q, seat 77.
70
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,175
That's when that...
71
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:41,880
Son of a bitch announcer
came over the loudspeaker.
72
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,519
I always have
trouble with this part.
73
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,054
Paradise city,
wherever it exists...
74
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,490
was not in
Atlanta, Georgia that day.
75
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,861
Guns n' roses had broken up.
76
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,635
So I think I explained
everything pretty good.
77
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,704
I'll open up the floor
to some questions.
78
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,140
Even though I'm not
quite sure which one of them
79
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,309
is the axl in this situation.
80
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,879
I'm going to have to get some
more details later. Nobody?
81
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,915
You don't even want to ask me what
my favorite song is? Civil war.
82
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,687
Guys, the wedding is not
happening is what I'm saying.
83
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,387
What?
84
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,059
Okay, calm down.
Calm down, it's fine.
85
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,960
I thought I really
walked you guys into that.
86
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,629
I feel like
you guys are overreacting.
87
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,798
Hey, guys, guys, guys. It's
fine, it's fine, it's fine.
88
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:35,601
Okay, the road to happiness
is not a straight path, okay?
89
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,803
It's bumpy.
90
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,038
If Harry and Christine
want to make it work
91
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,473
they will make it work,
okay, guys?
92
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,175
Look at guns n' roses.
They figured it out.
93
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,577
I mean sure, slash and
the band were irreplaceable.
94
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,279
But the buckethead years
were all right
95
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,781
and Chinese democracy
had like two good songs.
96
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,483
Plus we got velvet revolver
out of it
97
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,485
and those guys fucking rule.
98
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,253
So it could be worse.
99
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,356
Guns n' roses is happy.
I'm happy.
100
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,424
Harry will be happy.
Christine is a bitch.
101
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,526
And, hey, gnr kind of
got back together.
102
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,195
Anything is possible.
103
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,230
The kids will be all right.
104
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,630
That's all I'm saying.
105
00:06:05,642 --> 00:06:22,776
WwW.ZooCine.CoM
Watch Movies and Series!
106
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,885
Fuck.
107
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,853
Fuck.
108
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,855
Fuck!
109
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,091
Fuck.
110
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,793
Fuck!
111
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,297
Okay, that is it
for the wedding.
112
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,465
Thank you guys so much.
113
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:42,867
Um, I will see you
at the next one.
114
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,573
"To Harry and Christine,"
115
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,443
"may you share the most romantic of
meals together over these dishes."
116
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,845
"Love Joey and Britney."
117
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,781
That's like, really nice.
118
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:59,117
Yeah.
119
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,519
Pull!
120
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,826
Dude, in all fairness,
121
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,829
there are game of thrones weddings that
were less bloody than yours today.
122
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,798
Not really funny. -But look
at it on the bright side.
123
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,666
At least you found out
before you married her.
124
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,334
Yeah, five minutes before.
125
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,803
Yeah, that's
still before though.
126
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:21,040
I mean, otherwise you would have been having
sloppy seconds on your own wedding night, dude.
127
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,375
Also not funny.
128
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:25,176
Excuse me?
129
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,780
Yeah, hey.
130
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,616
We're not really sure
what you want us to do here.
131
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,220
Yeah, so I think we're just
going to, um, go. -Take off.
132
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,456
No, no, please stay.
Everything's fine.
133
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,590
I already paid you guys.
134
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,759
If he wants you to stay
then you fucking stay.
135
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,862
Okay? He had a shit day,
he almost married a skank
136
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,231
and he's a prince amongst men!
It's his wedding night!
137
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,799
And this is
the wedding reception
138
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,304
but it's not a wedding reception without a wedding
band. It's not a wedding reception without a wedding.
139
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,507
Psycho. Please don't make me write
you guys a bad review on yelp.
140
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,776
He yelps like a maniac!
141
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,378
He's like an angry mama
on that thing!
142
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,513
Okay...
143
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,681
Play a song.
144
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,748
- One song!
- Thank you.
145
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,353
That was a lot. -Had to get my
point across. Sure. Anyway, dude,
146
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,322
this could be
a blessing in disguise.
147
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,891
Look at all our married friends.
What do they have in common?
148
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,192
That they're all married?
149
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,393
They're in captivity!
That's what marriage is.
150
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:18,898
They have that same glazed-over
look that lions at the zoo have.
151
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,000
You know why you've never
heard a lion at the zoo roar?
152
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,336
Because I'm a grown man
and I don't go to the zoo?
153
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,238
Okay, I'm a grown man and I
go to the zoo all the time.
154
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,806
- Is there something weird about it?
- It's kind of weird.
155
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,108
I got an annual pass.
What, am I not gonna use it?
156
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,209
That's ridiculous!
157
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,144
Does your lion metaphor
have a point?
158
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,046
You never hear lions
roar at the zoo
159
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:37,215
because you need
fucking balls to roar, man!
160
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,225
- They're good.
- Yeah, like, really good.
161
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,660
Can I ask you a question?
162
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,260
Shoot.
163
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,764
How did we get here, man?
164
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,400
Well, my hillbilly cousin gave
me this gun as a wedding present
165
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,370
and now we're using it to destroy
all the other wedding presents.
166
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,171
No, not here...
167
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,638
Man, how did we get here
168
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,108
in life?
169
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:05,745
How could you stay with someone so
long, let alone almost marry them,
170
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,713
when the whole time
you guys were together
171
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,315
she treated you so...
172
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,295
I don't know what the word...
173
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,052
'Cause I don't want to offend you,
because you're a fragile guy right now.
174
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,619
What is the word
I'm looking for?
175
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,422
- Cold?
- Cunty.
176
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,124
Careful.
177
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,592
I don't know, man.
178
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:23,062
When you're in something, you only
see what you want to see, right?
179
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,331
And I saw the girl that
i was supposed to marry.
180
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,233
On paper she was perfect.
181
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,200
I mean, so was bitcoin
when you think about it.
182
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,606
You never suspected this?
183
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,174
No, actually,
i didn't see this coming.
184
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:38,344
I totally thought this would be
more of a murder-suicide situation.
185
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,479
Yeah. Wait, what?
186
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,249
She was going to kill you,
dude. That's for sure.
187
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,084
But then I like to think
in my fantasy world,
188
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,519
she would at least
have the courage
189
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,721
to turn the gun
on herself afterwards.
190
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,756
Is this the shit
you actually think about?
191
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,797
I know, right? It's weird.
192
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,197
Okay, do you guys know real songs
at all or do you just eavesdrop?
193
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,632
She checked all the boxes.
194
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,068
This one, okay. Let's hear 'em.
Okay.
195
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,170
Number one, she had a good job.
196
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,605
You paid for everything!
197
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,074
She's pretty... -She never
fucked you, so who cares?
198
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,675
She comes from
a really good family.
199
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,944
Dude, her dad called me the n-word.
We had a plan.
200
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:15,648
Harry, I know you have plans.
You fucking love plans.
201
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:18,684
But you need to realize
that plan sucked.
202
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:22,822
If you felt this way, why is this the
first time I'm hearing about it?
203
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,657
Hey, what do you think
about Christine?
204
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,592
She's cool, right?
205
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:30,129
No, dude. She fucking sucks.
206
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,064
Anyway, do not
propose to Christine, man.
207
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,132
She fucking sucks.
208
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:37,570
What?
209
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,737
Your fiancee fucking sucks, man.
210
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:44,375
I don't know, man, i guess there was
just never a good time to bring it up.
211
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:53,252
That's probably the flight Christine and I
were supposed to go on for our honeymoon.
212
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,987
What island were you guys
going to? I forgot.
213
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,889
Rancho para.
214
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,456
Supposed to be amazing.
215
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:02,061
Dude, let's go!
216
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,263
Just missed the flight.
217
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,631
Yeah, but you
canceled the hotel?
218
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,266
No, I couldn't.
It was too close to check-in.
219
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,402
- I'm just going to have to eat it.
- No, you don't.
220
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,303
Not if you and me go!
221
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,372
- What, you and me?
- Yeah!
222
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,740
How would we even get there?
223
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:15,808
Dude, I got a guy.
224
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,209
- You got a guy?
- I got a guy.
225
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,311
What does that even mean?
You're always so vague.
226
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,915
It means I know a guy. He runs shuttles back
and forth to the islands for my company.
227
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,818
I'll hop on as a "business
trip" and you ride for free.
228
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,654
You're my best friend, i have no
idea what you do for a living.
229
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,923
Doesn't matter! You've got
your bags packed, right?
230
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:33,492
Yeah. -So let's go, man, this
is gonna be fucking awesome!
231
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,695
Dude, fuck your honeymoon.
That was going to suck.
232
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:38,898
This is you and me going out. It's
not a honeymoon. This is like...
233
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,965
Dude, this is a fucking bromoon.
234
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,436
I think "homiemoon" is funnier.
235
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:45,071
Yeah, see, look, it is funnier.
236
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,239
That's how excited you are,
you're making puns!
237
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,675
I'm going to use homiemoon,
that's fucking hilarious!
238
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,211
It's not that exciting. -You're
so excited for this homiemoon.
239
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,245
Dude, we've got
to get out of here.
240
00:11:53,270 --> 00:11:54,680
Look at how fucking
depressing this place is.
241
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,116
It's like the
limp bizkit reunion tour.
242
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,335
We had fun at that show.
243
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,987
We had a great time but the crowd wasn't
into it and it took me out, personally.
244
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,322
I don't know.
245
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,289
Maybe I should just
go in to work tomorrow.
246
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,029
Fuck you, man. I'm going
to fucking kill you.
247
00:12:08,054 --> 00:12:08,594
Are you kidding?
248
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:12,998
You're going to do what you think
you're supposed to do, again.
249
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,501
Look at what doing what you're
supposed to do did to you today.
250
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,169
You almost married a whore!
251
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,138
Hey, come on, man,
it still hurts.
252
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,606
I know, I'm sorry.
I get excited.
253
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,874
I forget that you're fragile.
254
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,309
I love you.
Come here, my baby boy.
255
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,549
I'm sorry I hurt your
feelings just then.
256
00:12:24,574 --> 00:12:26,758
But don't worry, this is going
to be a fun-ass homiemoon.
257
00:12:26,783 --> 00:12:27,836
Okay, don't overuse it.
258
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,851
Thanks, dude.
259
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,921
You guys are wonderful, actually,
I was wrong about you.
260
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,892
Where are we going?
261
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,994
I told you, dude, gate z-98.
262
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,529
Z? I see a and b.
263
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,197
Perfect timing. Give me that.
Give me that.
264
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,700
You got it from the closet
we don't talk about, right?
265
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,836
Cool, this is going into my file.
Get out of here.
266
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:53,372
What was that? -It was one of my interns.
I had him get my go bag.
267
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,408
- How many interns do you have?
- Seven.
268
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,209
Can you and i
talk about this closet?
269
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:05,918
So is this it?
270
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,386
Well, all the signs say gate z.
271
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,423
- Who's this guy?
- That's Mike.
272
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,858
Mike?
273
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:15,853
Yeah, well his friends call him corn on
account of he tells really lame jokes
274
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,464
but he's a hell of a poker player
and really good at disc golf,
275
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,904
despite the fact that he lost
half of his index finger in a
276
00:13:20,929 --> 00:13:22,827
thrashing machine accident
when he was nine.
277
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:24,937
It's a real bummer but
he's found a way to adapt.
278
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:25,869
How do you know all this?
279
00:13:25,894 --> 00:13:27,173
I don't know all that, Harry!
280
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,257
You're asking a ton
of questions, okay?
281
00:13:28,282 --> 00:13:29,475
I don't know everything
about everybody.
282
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,509
That's clearly just a homeless guy.
Where'd he go?
283
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,881
Who... who are you?
Who sent you?
284
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,250
How long was I there?
Did Miguel send you?
285
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,652
I don't know a Miguel.
286
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,988
Shh! That's exactly what
Miguel would want you to say.
287
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,924
We're just trying to get
to rancho para.
288
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,891
I'm looking for
a guy named Randy.
289
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,528
Bowie?
290
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,663
- Randy? Hey!
- Hey!
291
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,398
All right.
292
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,599
Randy!
293
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,767
- Hey!
- Hey!
294
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,368
And you must be Harry.
295
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:59,871
Yeah. -The guy who almost
married the town jizz mop.
296
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,409
Don't blame me,
you know I like to gossip.
297
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:04,877
Hey, don't sweat it.
298
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,946
At least you two
found each other.
299
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,581
And it wouldn't have happened
without her.
300
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,182
That's the most important thing.
301
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,718
- Wait, what do you think that this is?
- Yeah?
302
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,421
Nothing, nothing.
Just two best friends
303
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,289
going on a trip for two together
304
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,824
to a tropical paradise
305
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,526
- with matching tuxes.
- Shit.
306
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,661
I actually think we look badass.
307
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,597
We look like sommeliers.
308
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:26,165
Follow me, guys. Come on.
309
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,733
Why are you talking about
west African pirates?
310
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,235
We look like butlers. Yeah, Geoffrey from
the fresh prince fucking rules, it's fine.
311
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,740
Sun-kissed airlines
312
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:38,611
would like to make the announcement
that flight one to rancho para
313
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:40,312
is now ready to board.
314
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:44,617
Now, we'd like to start off the boarding process
with all of our first class passengers,
315
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,452
frequent flyer medallion members
316
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,889
and anyone traveling with a
wheelchair or small children.
317
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,589
You're welcome to board.
318
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,161
Also, we'd like to announce
319
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,197
that this flight is overbooked.
320
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,732
Anyone who's willing to
321
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,501
give up their ticket
will receive a voucher
322
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,370
- of $400...
- Ooh.
323
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,205
For your next flight.
324
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,072
Okay, what's up?
Can I help y'all?
325
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:12,043
- We're the only two people here.
- Yeah.
326
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:15,347
Come on, man,
I'm just messing with y'all.
327
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,649
Come on, you guys.
328
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:17,816
- That was...
- You guys...
329
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:18,918
You were joking.
330
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,119
Because I thought...
331
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,787
It's funny looking back,
but at the time
332
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,088
- i did not...
- It was pretty brutal.
333
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,457
Yeah. -Anyways, the
more important thing is
334
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,192
let's get you two
love birds in the air.
335
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,894
Right this way, gentlemen.
336
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,497
- Are you sure you want to do this?
- Do what?
337
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,666
I wouldn't trust this guy
with my dry cleaning.
338
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,834
We're going to let him
fly a plane that we're in?
339
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,436
Harry, fucking relax, okay?
340
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,805
Literally no one has ever
died in a plane crash.
341
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,408
What are you talking about?
Jfk Jr.
342
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,443
- John Denver. Aaliyah.
- Okay, three.
343
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,112
Three people in the history of
aviation, that's pretty good, Harry.
344
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,514
I think you should
fact-check that.
345
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,248
Hey, Randy,
you ever crash this thing?
346
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,685
Yeah.
347
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:53,886
And look at him, he's doing great.
Guys.
348
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:57,723
I've got two parachutes and a
flotation device. We're good.
349
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,658
See? We're good!
350
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,661
I like you, Randy.
I like you a bunch.
351
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,363
I got dibs on the parachute.
352
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,932
All right, the meal on today's
flight is shut the hell up
353
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,669
and the in-flight movie is strap
on and hold on to your dicks.
354
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,105
Or each other's.
Whatever you're into.
355
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,774
Could you play the
movie alive? That'd be funny.
356
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,943
All right, boys, we are all set
357
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,778
and ready to go.
358
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,147
It's like a sophisticated
pinball machine, right?
359
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,850
Tower, this is
stroker Ace-six-nine,
360
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,185
ready for takeoff.
361
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,419
Now you've just got to
get out there and push.
362
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,355
You're just fucking
with us, right?
363
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,660
You're catching on, grasshopper.
364
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,195
That's pretty good.
365
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,561
That's pretty good.
366
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:55,647
Okay, now I'm not.
367
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,768
You're going to have to
really get out there and push.
368
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,951
I have a hard time reading you.
369
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,650
That was a surprisingly
smooth flight.
370
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,886
- Yeah.
- What?
371
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,522
He said that that was a surprisingly
smooth flight, Randy, it was great.
372
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,523
Come on, guys, we all know
I'm not allowed to fly.
373
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,361
No. Nope, we did
not know that, Randy.
374
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:45,596
If you Google me it says,
"don't let him fly."
375
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:49,834
Okay, well, looks like
we're here. Thanks again.
376
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,176
Shit.
377
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,011
On behalf of everyone here
378
00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,712
at the tradewinds island resort,
379
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,581
it is my pleasure to say to you
380
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,317
welcome to rancho para
381
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,852
and happy honeymoon Mr. and...
382
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,588
Nice!
383
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:17,096
Mr. and Mr. fluder.
384
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,164
No, no, no. Not Mr. and Mr.
385
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,967
Well, I mean, we are both misters.
I'm a boy so it's fine.
386
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,969
A lover's quarrel already?
387
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,504
This is supposed
to be the honeymoon.
388
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:26,572
- Don't worry...
- Hey!
389
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,974
Nothing a few days
in paradise won't cure.
390
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,375
No, you don't understand.
391
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,443
No bags?
392
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,183
- No, we have bags.
- Yeah, we have bags.
393
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,747
I must say, you two are doing
your honeymoon properly.
394
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,716
Should I have all your
meals sent to your room?
395
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,251
Double the maid service?
396
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,686
I don't know what that means.
I know what that means.
397
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:44,823
Did you forget our bags? We're the
only two people on the plane.
398
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,658
What? No! I know exactly
where your bags are.
399
00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:56,602
Hey, you guys enjoy
your honeymoon, all right?
400
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,137
You guys make a cute couple.
401
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,639
What about my toiletries? -Dude,
who cares? Come on, let's go.
402
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,474
- Hey.
- Hello.
403
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,276
The ultimate
honeymoon experience.
404
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,944
Dude, I can tell, man.
This thing rules.
405
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,913
I feel like
fucking Beyonce right now.
406
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,680
Does that make me Jay z?
407
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:12,850
I don't know who that is.
408
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:28,332
Usa! Usa!
409
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,125
As you can see,
we've taken great pains
410
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:55,527
to ensure that your room
and your entire stay
411
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,030
caters to your every desire.
412
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:01,232
If you need anything
your wish is my command.
413
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,800
Good day, gentlemen.
414
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,336
Good day.
415
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,237
That guy talked like a genie?
416
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,906
Yeah.
417
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,074
All right.
What do you wanna do now?
418
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,877
You mean after we fuck?
419
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,780
Obviously, yeah. I mean, we have to fuck.
It would be rude not to.
420
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,313
- Let's get a drink.
- Okay.
421
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,451
It's just so wonderful.
422
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,920
Thank you. Yeah.
423
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,388
Look how tropical
this shit is, man.
424
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,924
Fuckin', who is getting
whiskey in paradise?
425
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,291
Get tropical with me.
426
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,159
Not feeling very tropical.
427
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,063
Ooh, that's good.
428
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,898
That's good.
429
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,568
When I pictured this,
i didn't exactly picture this.
430
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,571
Look, I know she-who-shall-not-be-named
fucking sucks, but still.
431
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,106
I know, I know. I'm sorry.
432
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:44,042
I forgot why I was here.
Take care of my buddy.
433
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,245
I'm gonna go get us the three ws.
How's that sound?
434
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,712
Weed, women...
435
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,683
Fuck. Should've been two ws.
436
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,184
I'm gonna go do that, then.
I'm gonna get us the two ws.
437
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,954
Third one could've been whiskey.
438
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:02,860
Watermelon's the third one.
439
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:15,706
Yeah.
440
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,976
Hey. How's it going?
441
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,613
All at once
and at the same time.
442
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,980
Okay.
443
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:27,151
Did you order caviar
or diamonds or something?
444
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,621
You see him too?
445
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,156
Okay, good.
446
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:33,125
Hello, time traveler.
447
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,625
Come, sit.
448
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:36,895
I'm bowie.
449
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:38,864
Hi, bowie.
450
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:41,166
Are you from
dancing with the stars?
451
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,934
No, no. I'm not.
452
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,568
But I think that show's great.
453
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,239
Um...
454
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,640
I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
455
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:52,511
I don't wanna, assume too much
that it might offend you guys,
456
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:57,249
but you just seem like
the sort that might know this.
457
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:59,484
You guys might be able to help me out.
I'm not from around here,
458
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:03,355
and if someone from not around
here was looking to, maybe,
459
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:08,092
elevate themselves to, like, the
level you guys seem to be on...
460
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:09,528
You know what I...
461
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:11,895
You know what I mean?
462
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:22,174
You're sayin' an awful lot
of words right now, man.
463
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:23,175
Are you a narc?
464
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:27,979
Stop teasing him.
We're just fuckin' with you.
465
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:31,016
We're just fuckin' with you. Our
level, our level. Sure, sure, sure.
466
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,818
Look. All you gotta do, look.
467
00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:38,357
You just gotta eat this bag of
mushrooms, and smoke this bag of weed.
468
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:44,294
Okay.
Every day for 20 years.
469
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:45,964
Get out... you...
470
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,734
You do that, and you
might be able to, like,
471
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:52,269
smell the orbit that we're
working with, you know?
472
00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:56,641
I mean, yeah, it... It would get you close.
It would get you close.
473
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:57,843
It's true.
474
00:22:57,844 --> 00:23:00,145
I once did peyote
with a leprechaun...
475
00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:02,681
Could've been
a well-dressed armadillo.
476
00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:06,017
Either way, we both peaked at the
same time, so it was all good.
477
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:09,788
Yeah, I mean, you know, you gotta
start somewhere, right? So...
478
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,356
Yeah, here.
479
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,225
Man.
480
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:14,292
What do I owe you?
481
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,694
That's from the earth, man.
482
00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:18,196
Who am I to charge for nature's bounty?
You know it's...
483
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:20,165
That'd be like charging
for water, you know?
484
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:23,034
They do charge you for water.
You shut the fuck up, Richard!
485
00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:25,237
That's not a funny joke,
and I told you that.
486
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,239
What's wrong with you?
487
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,807
Having a little shindig
by the casino, later, man.
488
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:30,809
You should stop by, man.
It's gonna be fun, you know.
489
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:33,712
Well, real mellow, you know.
Nothing formal, although...
490
00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:36,415
Well, that sounds great. I'm just
here with my buddy, so I gotta...
491
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,749
We love buddies.
492
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,651
Yeah, man. The more the merrier.
That's what I say.
493
00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:41,319
Shit. Bring him, you know.
It's easy to find.
494
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,854
You just gotta cut through
the woods right down...
495
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,325
There. Right down there, and...
496
00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:49,127
It's off the beaten path, but you can't miss
it, man. It's right down there, you'll see it.
497
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:52,631
All right, man. Well, I'm so
glad i ran into you guys.
498
00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:55,300
I appreciate everything. This is so cool.
Thank you very much.
499
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:57,135
Hey, you wanna...
500
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:58,970
You know? Just a little toke
for the road?
501
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:01,039
- Yeah. Yeah. Course.
- There you go.
502
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,275
That's gonna put some fuzz
on your peaches, you know.
503
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:04,543
This is fine, here?
504
00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:06,378
- Yeah, never got caught.
- I hope so, man.
505
00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:08,112
We been doin' it for years.
506
00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:13,418
Fuck, dude, fuck.
507
00:24:13,419 --> 00:24:17,055
Come on, man. That's the
breakfast blend, man.
508
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:19,391
That's the shit I smoke
to stop being high.
509
00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:20,959
- God.
- Come on, man.
510
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,194
Look at him go.
511
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,529
I'm gonna do one more for the road.
Okay, you go for that.
512
00:24:24,530 --> 00:24:27,499
You gotta try everything twice, yeah.
There we go.
513
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,967
Similar results.
514
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:31,670
This guy's funny.
515
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,971
Well, you guys are cool.
516
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:38,142
Come tonight. Don't forget
to bring your friends.
517
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:41,646
- I like him.
- Yeah, yeah.
518
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,014
Looked like a Butler.
519
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:44,683
But he didn't bring us anything.
520
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,184
Yeah. -Butlers usually
bring you something.
521
00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:48,152
- He's not good at his job?
- No.
522
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,687
What the fuck?
523
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,641
'Sup? That feels so weird.
524
00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:11,343
My god!
525
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:13,010
Watch where
you're going, asshole.
526
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,447
I'm looking for an armadillo.
527
00:25:15,448 --> 00:25:19,050
I'm sorry. Did you just say
you're looking for an armadillo?
528
00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:21,119
He lost his armadillo.
529
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,154
Yeah? Well, he's about to lose
the contents of his nut sack
530
00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:25,590
if I don't have another drink
in my hand by then.
531
00:25:25,591 --> 00:25:28,493
Here, just have mine. I haven't
even taken a sip. No, it's fine.
532
00:25:28,494 --> 00:25:31,429
"Lose the contents of his nut sack?"
Are you gonna hurt him or blow him?
533
00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:32,831
Yeah. Good, Colette.
534
00:25:32,832 --> 00:25:35,534
'Cause I suck every guy's dick
who spills a drink on me. Nice.
535
00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:37,969
I mean, he's wearing a tuxedo
in 90 degree weather.
536
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,771
He's obviously a masochist.
537
00:25:39,772 --> 00:25:41,706
Rip off his nuts.
I bet he'd like it.
538
00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:44,309
Try and remember the last place
that you saw your armadillo.
539
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:46,344
Ooh, I know.
Check your other hand.
540
00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:49,881
I can't tell you how many times I've lost
something and ended up finding it there.
541
00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,049
Well, what do you say, asshole? You
wanna step outta the way and apologize?
542
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:55,152
You want me to shove my foot so far
up your ass I can wear you as pants?
543
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,020
Shut up, you stupid.
544
00:25:58,190 --> 00:26:00,091
Did he just call me stupid?
545
00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:01,426
Shut up, you stupid.
546
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:03,228
Look at you, you so dumb.
547
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:04,663
No.
548
00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:06,998
I'm gonna kick this guy's dick
off, right now. Wait, wait, wait.
549
00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:08,400
Wait, wait. I smell weed.
550
00:26:08,401 --> 00:26:09,766
Do you have weed?
551
00:26:11,304 --> 00:26:13,136
That's cool.
552
00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:16,875
Harry.
553
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,343
I'm in sad mode.
554
00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:19,744
Entering anger mode.
555
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,144
Harry.
556
00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:25,983
Dude, I'm so high, too.
557
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:29,054
Hello.
558
00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:30,322
All right. Come on.
Let's do this.
559
00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:32,189
Bring the sad one.
560
00:26:33,291 --> 00:26:34,658
That's you.
561
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:39,531
I know!
562
00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:41,199
Okay.
563
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,901
I didn't get watermelon.
That's the only one I forgot.
564
00:26:53,411 --> 00:26:54,846
This is your boat?
565
00:26:54,847 --> 00:26:56,114
It's awesome.
566
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,816
Okay, first of all,
it's not a boat.
567
00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,316
It's a yacht, asshole.
568
00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,852
It's okay, guys.
They're with me.
569
00:27:05,857 --> 00:27:07,926
Shoes off, guys. Let's go.
570
00:27:07,927 --> 00:27:09,993
All right. Whatever.
571
00:27:10,395 --> 00:27:12,062
Fucking rules.
572
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:14,965
You're terrifying.
573
00:27:20,872 --> 00:27:22,007
- Dude.
- Wow.
574
00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,541
This boat is dope.
575
00:27:23,542 --> 00:27:25,076
Thank you.
576
00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,843
Speaking of which, let's see it.
What?
577
00:27:28,347 --> 00:27:31,782
Come on. Isn't that what youse
came here for? Whip it out.
578
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:35,920
No, but...
579
00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:39,758
It's not why we came here, but it's
very cool of you to start with this.
580
00:27:39,759 --> 00:27:41,326
- That's not cool.
- My god.
581
00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:43,660
No, not your dick. The weed.
582
00:27:43,928 --> 00:27:45,030
What?
583
00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:46,863
- Yeah, I know.
- God!
584
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:48,767
I was kidding.
585
00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:50,268
Jesus Christ.
586
00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:51,703
Heard of a joke?
587
00:27:51,704 --> 00:27:53,972
- Gross.
- So, I'm Harry.
588
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:55,073
I'm Angela.
589
00:27:55,074 --> 00:27:56,508
Nice to meet you.
590
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:58,977
- This is Beatrice over here.
- Hey.
591
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,645
You can call me bea.
592
00:28:00,646 --> 00:28:02,414
Everyone does.
I don't force them.
593
00:28:02,415 --> 00:28:04,414
That's Johanna over there.
594
00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:06,484
- Don't look at me.
- Okay.
595
00:28:06,485 --> 00:28:08,652
Hi, I'm tiffani and...
596
00:28:08,953 --> 00:28:10,454
It's really hot.
597
00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:14,459
That's better.
598
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:17,028
Yeah. It... good call.
It is so hot.
599
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,729
It's... yup.
600
00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:22,799
I'm Colette. Hi.
601
00:28:23,935 --> 00:28:25,335
Hi.
602
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,840
I'm bowie.
603
00:28:30,141 --> 00:28:32,210
That's my weed.
604
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,878
So, you guys probably think
I'm pretty cool.
605
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:37,348
Do you have asperger's?
606
00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:40,650
I don't think so.
Unless you're into it.
607
00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:49,360
So, what brings you ladies
to the islands?
608
00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:50,462
The boat does.
609
00:28:50,463 --> 00:28:50,462
My husband.
609
00:28:50,463 --> 00:28:53,498
He's always traveling here and
there for work, you know,
610
00:28:53,499 --> 00:28:55,934
so I said, "you gotta figure out
a way to bring us with you."
611
00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:58,069
What does your husband do?
612
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,305
Little bit of this,
little bit of that, you know.
613
00:29:00,306 --> 00:29:02,472
Buys me yachts to keep me happy.
614
00:29:03,342 --> 00:29:05,677
So I can hang out
with my girls and party.
615
00:29:05,678 --> 00:29:07,345
He sounds cool.
616
00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:09,047
Ooh, this weed
is really relaxing.
617
00:29:09,048 --> 00:29:11,548
- Right?
- I love smoking weed.
618
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,485
So relaxing.
619
00:29:13,486 --> 00:29:15,018
Basically take a nap right now.
620
00:29:17,956 --> 00:29:21,126
Might wanna take it easy on that.
You don't wanna get paranoid.
621
00:29:21,127 --> 00:29:22,759
You need to take it easy, tux-o.
Okay?
622
00:29:22,784 --> 00:29:25,396
I'm not paranoid. You're paranoid.
- Shut up. - It's okay.
623
00:29:25,397 --> 00:29:29,050
Actually, that ridiculous
marijuana-causing-paranoia thing?
624
00:29:29,075 --> 00:29:30,268
That's a myth.
It just lowers your inhibitions,
625
00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:33,538
and then you become a
heightened version of yourself.
626
00:29:33,539 --> 00:29:36,339
So if you're, like, really
happy, you're extra happy.
627
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:39,276
If you're a crazy psycho weirdo,
628
00:29:39,911 --> 00:29:41,579
you're that.
629
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:43,280
Lemme guess. Psychiatrist?
630
00:29:43,515 --> 00:29:44,916
Psychoanalyst.
631
00:29:44,917 --> 00:29:47,018
She said anal. That's funny.
632
00:29:47,019 --> 00:29:49,120
Bowie,
633
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:50,388
why are you here?
634
00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:52,056
Actually,
it's a pretty crazy story.
635
00:29:52,057 --> 00:29:53,858
Yesterday, I'm with Harry...
636
00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:58,530
We're masseuse... Massages?
Massage. Massages.
637
00:29:58,531 --> 00:29:59,731
Masseuses?
638
00:29:59,732 --> 00:30:01,332
You mean massage therapists?
639
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,601
Yeah. I actually consider myself
640
00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:06,136
a massage, wizard.
641
00:30:06,771 --> 00:30:09,973
It's magic what I can do
with just these.
642
00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:12,844
It sounds like magic.
643
00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:16,247
Yeah. And we are here for
the annual awards ceremony.
644
00:30:17,849 --> 00:30:18,950
The handies.
645
00:30:18,951 --> 00:30:20,819
- Congratulations.
- Fuck, yeah. Thank you.
646
00:30:20,820 --> 00:30:23,121
That would explain the tuxedos.
647
00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:25,790
No, not really,
but please, go on.
648
00:30:25,791 --> 00:30:27,058
You're nominated for an award.
649
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:30,128
Well, I'm nominated
for best technique,
650
00:30:30,129 --> 00:30:32,597
and bowie's nominated
for best...
651
00:30:32,598 --> 00:30:33,865
Best oral. - Sup? - Gross.
652
00:30:33,866 --> 00:30:37,535
Ew, that's disgusting. -No, it's
different in the massage community.
653
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:40,238
It just means good
table-side, banter.
654
00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:42,240
Banter. So good.
655
00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:44,209
Fuck! Jesus Christ.
656
00:30:44,210 --> 00:30:46,110
What happened? What is this?
What are you doing?
657
00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:47,644
My god. Get down.
658
00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:52,116
What the hell was that?
659
00:30:52,117 --> 00:30:54,018
Shit. Fuck.
660
00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:55,186
Who cares?
661
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:57,255
My god.
I thought that was my husband.
662
00:30:57,256 --> 00:30:58,206
Who's your husband?
663
00:30:58,231 --> 00:31:01,081
Not someone you want to catch
you with his wife in a hot tub.
664
00:31:01,726 --> 00:31:03,761
God. I fuckin' ruined the weed.
665
00:31:03,762 --> 00:31:05,663
Shit. All of it.
666
00:31:05,664 --> 00:31:07,565
I'm sorry.
667
00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:09,599
Well, you know
what that means, boys.
668
00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:13,470
Just, kinda,
feel each other up, now?
669
00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:16,173
- Okay, buh-bye.
- Byes.
670
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:17,607
Hey, um...
671
00:31:18,343 --> 00:31:19,911
Sorry.
672
00:31:19,912 --> 00:31:21,613
No, no. It's okay.
673
00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:23,014
This was...
674
00:31:23,015 --> 00:31:25,982
I wanna say fun,
but it was more interesting.
675
00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:28,585
How do I feel like I know you?
676
00:31:29,654 --> 00:31:30,889
I don't know.
677
00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:32,891
I guess I just
have one of those faces.
678
00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:36,259
No. Yours is a face
i definitely wouldn't forget.
679
00:31:38,129 --> 00:31:39,397
Wow.
680
00:31:39,398 --> 00:31:45,436
That was, like, page one of the
douchebag pickup handbook, right there.
681
00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:49,040
I'll take shitty Justin bieber
lyrics for $1,000, Alex.
682
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,376
I'll get outta here. You don't have
to see me again. -No, no, no, no.
683
00:31:51,377 --> 00:31:53,777
I really hope
i get to see you again.
684
00:31:54,846 --> 00:31:56,913
I hope you get to see...
685
00:31:57,315 --> 00:31:58,950
I mean...
686
00:31:58,951 --> 00:32:01,119
I think you know what I mean.
Yes.
687
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,353
- Okay.
- Okay.
688
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:04,455
- Okay, then. It's settled.
- Settled.
689
00:32:04,456 --> 00:32:05,556
Hey, tux-o.
690
00:32:05,557 --> 00:32:07,091
- Let's fucking go.
- I'm coming.
691
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:08,660
I'm gonna go. Thank you.
692
00:32:08,661 --> 00:32:10,802
Coming. I'm high as shit, man.
Gotta get food.
693
00:32:10,827 --> 00:32:11,896
Don't embarrass me.
694
00:32:11,897 --> 00:32:14,465
It was nice to meet you, tux-o.
695
00:32:14,466 --> 00:32:17,535
She called you tux-o.
696
00:32:17,536 --> 00:32:19,837
Massage therapist?
What the fuck was I thinking?
697
00:32:19,838 --> 00:32:20,964
I dunno, but it was genius.
698
00:32:20,989 --> 00:32:22,934
Did you have that one
loaded in the chamber, or
699
00:32:22,959 --> 00:32:24,757
was that just off the
top of your head, man?
700
00:32:24,782 --> 00:32:26,377
Nope, that was
right out of my ass.
701
00:32:26,378 --> 00:32:28,602
And when did you become
leisure suit Larry?
702
00:32:28,627 --> 00:32:31,482
I wish I was leisure suit Larry.
That guy's awesome.
703
00:32:31,483 --> 00:32:34,452
"Yeah. I'm nominated
for best oral, ha ha!"
704
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:36,554
"Let me finger-bang you
with my wizard hand."
705
00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:39,223
That's not how I laugh. -That's
exactly how you sound, man.
706
00:32:39,224 --> 00:32:41,826
Either way, I never said "finger-bang
you with my magical wizard hands."
707
00:32:41,827 --> 00:32:43,227
Well, you might as well have.
708
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:46,374
The shit you were saying back
there didn't even make sense.
709
00:32:46,399 --> 00:32:47,632
Harry, look around.
710
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,859
We're in a fast and the
furious movie right now.
711
00:32:49,884 --> 00:32:51,292
Nothing has to make sense.
712
00:32:51,402 --> 00:32:52,637
Dude.
713
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,437
This is the stripper flight.
714
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,752
Okay. What's a
stripper flight?
715
00:32:56,777 --> 00:33:00,458
Stripper flight is this legendary flight
from tampa to Vegas, filled with strippers.
716
00:33:00,483 --> 00:33:04,182
Because everyone knows the two meccas for
strip clubs are tampa and Vegas, right?
717
00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:06,284
Yeah, I think that was
a question on my lsats.
718
00:33:06,285 --> 00:33:08,820
So, all the best strippers
work both places.
719
00:33:08,821 --> 00:33:10,888
Tampa, weekdays.
Vegas, weekends.
720
00:33:10,889 --> 00:33:12,156
There's this one flight.
721
00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:14,158
According to legend,
every Thursday night,
722
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:17,228
the hottest strippers in tampa
get on the same plane to Vegas.
723
00:33:17,229 --> 00:33:20,631
And Vegas is a 24-hour town, so
they get on that plane ready to go.
724
00:33:20,632 --> 00:33:22,133
You know, time is money. And you
can't just, like, buy a ticket.
725
00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:26,704
It's not like these flights are
advertised as the stripper flight.
726
00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:28,873
They're totally random
and unpredictable.
727
00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:30,575
Dude, just like strippers.
728
00:33:30,576 --> 00:33:32,777
But every now and then,
the stars align,
729
00:33:32,778 --> 00:33:35,412
and some lucky bastard
gets bumped off his flight,
730
00:33:36,147 --> 00:33:39,350
and finds himself
on the stripper flight.
731
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:41,319
And if you ever end up
on the stripper flight,
732
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:45,422
you owe it to yourself
to go balls out.
733
00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:48,165
Ladies and gentlemen,
as you can see,
734
00:33:48,190 --> 00:33:50,395
the captain has turned off
the fasten seatbelt sign.
735
00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:51,956
You are now free
to get your freak on.
736
00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:13,584
Yeah!
737
00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,753
Okay.
Not my most profound story...
738
00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:17,155
Yeah, but maybe your longest.
739
00:34:17,156 --> 00:34:18,359
But either way,
look at yesterday.
740
00:34:18,384 --> 00:34:20,093
You were this close to
marrying a woman who was
741
00:34:20,118 --> 00:34:21,659
time-sharing her vagina,
and look at today.
742
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:26,097
You already spent the afternoon with a
bunch of banging-hot sorority chicks
743
00:34:26,098 --> 00:34:27,198
in a hot tub.
744
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:29,100
Okay, dickhead.
You're 30 years old.
745
00:34:29,101 --> 00:34:30,768
So are they. They're just
called women, now.
746
00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:33,638
Either way. I bet there's gonna be
a bunch of hot sorority "women"
747
00:34:33,639 --> 00:34:35,706
at this dope house party
I'm about to take you to.
748
00:34:35,707 --> 00:34:37,608
Well, we're in the middle of nowhere.
We look like assholes.
749
00:34:37,609 --> 00:34:42,513
And this dope-ass house party is
definitely going to be a meth lab.
750
00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:44,282
I bet the party's this way.
751
00:34:44,283 --> 00:34:47,150
Directly into the jungle?
Yeah, that makes sense.
752
00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:55,026
Nicest meth lab I've seen.
753
00:34:55,027 --> 00:34:56,760
How many meth labs
have you seen?
754
00:34:57,328 --> 00:34:58,663
Three.
755
00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:00,630
This is gonna be
fucking awesome.
756
00:35:04,735 --> 00:35:08,072
You know, takes a big man
not to say I told you so.
757
00:35:08,073 --> 00:35:09,407
Okay. Let's get it over with.
758
00:35:09,408 --> 00:35:11,142
Get what over with?
759
00:35:11,143 --> 00:35:12,185
Just say it. -What did
you think i was gonna say?
760
00:35:12,210 --> 00:35:13,144
You're not gonna trick
me into saying it.
761
00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:16,579
- Trick you into saying what do you think?
- You're basically...
762
00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:19,816
Hello. We're here for the party.
763
00:35:29,193 --> 00:35:30,436
Thank you.
764
00:35:30,461 --> 00:35:34,165
I hope they're serving food
at this party. I'm starving.
765
00:35:34,166 --> 00:35:36,400
Me too, man.
I'm doing mints right now.
766
00:35:36,401 --> 00:35:38,803
I haven't brushed my teeth
since yesterday,
767
00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:39,904
so two birds.
768
00:35:39,905 --> 00:35:42,240
Cool. Pre meal, I guess.
769
00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:43,908
- Baby. That sucks.
- Too big, it wouldn't work.
770
00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:45,475
Couldn't smoke it
at the same time.
771
00:35:46,278 --> 00:35:47,979
Guys, you made it.
772
00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:49,413
Like, I'm so glad you got here?
773
00:35:49,414 --> 00:35:50,548
So glad.
774
00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:51,682
I brought my friend, Harry.
775
00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:54,704
Hi, friend Harry.
Hey. So, you guys live here?
776
00:35:54,729 --> 00:35:56,320
This is our vacation home.
We just...
777
00:35:56,321 --> 00:36:00,658
We just come out here for one
or two months at a time when...
778
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:03,027
When monte-Carlo's feeling
a little too chintzy.
779
00:36:03,028 --> 00:36:05,963
Yeah, monte-Carlo. It's like
the Branson of the riviera.
780
00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:08,666
Yeah. Just gets...
It's too much sometimes.
781
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:11,135
Lemme show you guys
around our little...
782
00:36:11,136 --> 00:36:12,735
Our little jungle abode.
783
00:36:13,839 --> 00:36:15,006
Have fun, boys.
784
00:36:15,007 --> 00:36:16,340
All right. See ya.
785
00:36:16,341 --> 00:36:18,643
Hey, this place
fucking rules, dude.
786
00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:19,810
Thanks, man. Thanks.
787
00:36:19,811 --> 00:36:21,445
- Hey, Marcel.
- Hello, monsieur.
788
00:36:21,446 --> 00:36:23,814
How're you doing?
This is my head chef, Marcel.
789
00:36:23,815 --> 00:36:25,283
Dude, you got a head chef?
790
00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:27,685
Marcel, these are my pals, Harry and bowie.
Pleasure to meet you.
791
00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:30,797
We stole him from one of those real
fancy restaurants over in Europe.
792
00:36:30,822 --> 00:36:33,464
You know, the kind where they
don't let you wear shorts
793
00:36:33,490 --> 00:36:35,287
and you can't even
bring your own beer.
794
00:36:35,312 --> 00:36:36,594
One of those dumps, you know.
795
00:36:36,595 --> 00:36:37,895
Yeah.
796
00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:39,130
Cost me a fortune, man.
797
00:36:39,131 --> 00:36:43,167
This guy can make an omelet
you just wanna fuck.
798
00:36:43,168 --> 00:36:44,635
Hey, Kenny.
This place is amazing.
799
00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:47,405
I love how nothing matches.
800
00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:48,255
- Thanks, man. Thanks.
- Yeah, it's fun.
801
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:48,973
- I like it.
- What do you do?
802
00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:52,577
Well, I like to think of myself
as an inventor, you know.
803
00:36:52,578 --> 00:36:55,413
Some of it's
alternative licensing.
804
00:36:55,414 --> 00:36:57,048
Like, have you heard of
the George foreman grill?
805
00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:59,317
Yeah. You came up with the George
foreman grill? -Dude. No way.
806
00:36:59,318 --> 00:37:02,153
No, no, no. There's a Larry Holmes
hot plate. Look at that guy.
807
00:37:02,154 --> 00:37:03,287
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
808
00:37:03,288 --> 00:37:04,622
Marcel's a wizard on that thing.
809
00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:06,057
Look, look. Out there.
You see out there?
810
00:37:06,058 --> 00:37:08,226
People under that,
under the blanket,
811
00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,827
with all of the sleeves
cut out of it?
812
00:37:09,828 --> 00:37:11,395
- Well, I'll be. No way.
- No, no, no.
813
00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:13,564
That is a squilt.
That is a squilt.
814
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,433
There's a trademark
on the other thing.
815
00:37:15,434 --> 00:37:16,567
Some lawsuits pending.
816
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:18,269
If it is,
agreeable with monsieur,
817
00:37:18,270 --> 00:37:19,937
i started serving
the hors d'oeuvres.-
818
00:37:19,938 --> 00:37:22,607
We have a saffron-infused
lobster mini-cake,
819
00:37:22,608 --> 00:37:25,409
served on a jalapeno
dill crouton bread. -Ooh.
820
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:27,612
- That sounds really good.
- That sounds amazing.
821
00:37:27,613 --> 00:37:29,180
I mean, that's agreeable, yeah.
822
00:37:29,181 --> 00:37:30,681
Know what else is agreeable,
though?-
823
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:33,117
Bagel bites. Ha ha, yeah, man.
824
00:37:33,118 --> 00:37:34,318
- Bagel bites, monsieur?
- Yeah.
825
00:37:34,319 --> 00:37:36,153
You know. It's the...
It's the...
826
00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:37,355
It's like a little pizza
827
00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:38,789
but it's on a bagel,
828
00:37:38,790 --> 00:37:40,191
and you just... you bite it.
829
00:37:40,192 --> 00:37:42,360
We got some in the freezer,
pop in the microwave.
830
00:37:42,361 --> 00:37:44,895
I tried to make my own.
Inventor.
831
00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:47,665
Mini muffin munchers...
That's what I call 'em, but...
832
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,867
Can't fuck with perfection, man.
833
00:37:49,868 --> 00:37:51,168
They nailed it. They nailed it.
834
00:37:51,169 --> 00:37:53,604
But those lobster croutons
sound amazing.
835
00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:56,253
You can make the other things,
too, a couple of those.
836
00:37:56,278 --> 00:37:58,732
Bagel bites. Your culinary
wish is my command.
837
00:38:00,846 --> 00:38:03,381
Gracias.
Dude, you speak that language?
838
00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:06,684
No, no. I just don't want him
to feel left out, you know.
839
00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:08,452
It's pretty, though.
Sounds so pretty.
840
00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:10,988
Can I show you what I really do for
a living, though? My true passion.
841
00:38:10,989 --> 00:38:12,556
- You wanna see it?
- Fuck, yeah, Kenny.
842
00:38:12,557 --> 00:38:13,824
- You go check it out.
- Okay, come on. Come here.
843
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:15,892
I can't wait to.
It's gonna be so rad.
844
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:17,527
Mints.
845
00:38:29,273 --> 00:38:32,176
I didn't know you
were gonna be here.
846
00:38:32,177 --> 00:38:34,011
- Hi.
- What're you doing here?
847
00:38:34,012 --> 00:38:37,381
Yeah. I just,
came from a night dive.
848
00:38:37,382 --> 00:38:39,629
If I didn't find these shoes
in the bottom of my bag,
849
00:38:39,654 --> 00:38:41,018
I'd be standing
here in flippers.
850
00:38:41,019 --> 00:38:42,086
You look great.
851
00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:44,021
Aw, thanks. You're so sweet.
852
00:38:44,022 --> 00:38:47,024
You look exactly the same.
853
00:38:47,025 --> 00:38:48,926
What? No.
854
00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:50,393
No, this is different.
855
00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:54,298
That was my beach tux.
856
00:38:54,299 --> 00:38:55,833
Yeah. It's all right.
857
00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:57,800
Yeah.
This is my cocktail t-shirt.
858
00:38:58,269 --> 00:38:59,802
Obviously.
859
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:05,142
This... this is my lab.
860
00:39:05,143 --> 00:39:07,644
Fuckin' Harry was right.
Jesus...
861
00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:09,946
Kenny!
862
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:11,682
You devil. What is this?
863
00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:13,250
Yeah, I know.
864
00:39:13,251 --> 00:39:16,684
Yeah. We're the premiere manufacturer
and retailer of alternatively-sized
865
00:39:16,709 --> 00:39:20,024
and uniquely-shaped pleasure products
in the western hemisphere. -Okay.
866
00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:23,881
Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not trying to compete
with Japan. They're on another level.
867
00:39:23,906 --> 00:39:25,527
Yeah, they're the number ones?
868
00:39:25,552 --> 00:39:28,466
Yeah, they do all kinds of stuff with
real dolls and, like, fuck squids.
869
00:39:28,467 --> 00:39:31,235
Anyway, so yeah. Marthy
calls this my fuck factory.
870
00:39:31,236 --> 00:39:33,041
Dude. Uniquely-shaped,
alternatively-sized.
871
00:39:33,066 --> 00:39:34,805
All right. What is this?
What is this?
872
00:39:34,806 --> 00:39:36,207
This one here. Okay, this guy.
873
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:37,308
This is a top seller.
874
00:39:37,309 --> 00:39:39,836
Now, say you got a gal.
She's in the mood,
875
00:39:39,861 --> 00:39:42,880
but she has, like, a very,
um, shallow, wide vagina.
876
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,014
- Okay.
- It happens.
877
00:39:44,015 --> 00:39:45,549
- Yeah. No, no. I know.
- You know, we're all...
878
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:48,252
It's the differences that
makes us, a whole thing.
879
00:39:48,253 --> 00:39:49,720
Now, something like this.
Something like this.
880
00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:51,055
Look, this is gonna
brutalize her.
881
00:39:51,056 --> 00:39:53,057
This is gonna... this is gonna
882
00:39:53,058 --> 00:39:54,291
puncture a lung. You know?
883
00:39:54,292 --> 00:39:55,993
This is like an nba player
884
00:39:55,994 --> 00:39:57,128
diving into a kiddie pool.
885
00:39:57,129 --> 00:39:58,396
You can't deal with this.
886
00:39:58,397 --> 00:40:00,264
This is gonna hit
all the erogenous zones,
887
00:40:00,265 --> 00:40:02,666
but not go too deep
and, cause discomfort.
888
00:40:02,667 --> 00:40:04,502
That's the little miss muff
right there.
889
00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:06,201
Feel that, that's just,
the consistency's there.
890
00:40:06,226 --> 00:40:07,171
Dude, they're the same.
891
00:40:07,172 --> 00:40:08,873
Yeah, yeah. I know. -This
one, what is this one, Kenny?
892
00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:11,809
Okay. This, this one,
this is our sidewinder.
893
00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:15,112
This is for, like, okay. You're a
guy, you're in the mood all the time.
894
00:40:15,113 --> 00:40:17,348
But you're more of a
boomerang than a bow staff.
895
00:40:17,349 --> 00:40:19,016
You know what I'm saying? Rhino.
896
00:40:19,017 --> 00:40:20,284
Rhino... that's you?
897
00:40:20,285 --> 00:40:21,552
Buddy.
898
00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:23,621
So that's gonna go
right on there,
899
00:40:23,622 --> 00:40:24,755
and it's gonna hit
all the spots...
900
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,690
No, I know.
I can visualize it for sure.
901
00:40:26,691 --> 00:40:28,092
Dude, how do you
come up with this shit?
902
00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:29,560
This is, fucking, so smart.
903
00:40:29,561 --> 00:40:31,729
Well, I mean,
I've always been a tinkerer.
904
00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:35,032
You know, they've got big and tall
stores for clothes, they've got that.
905
00:40:35,057 --> 00:40:38,469
But, it's like the same concept, but I
just applied it to, your fuck parts.
906
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:39,837
Fucking genius.
907
00:40:39,838 --> 00:40:41,604
It's why I live in a mansion,
man.
908
00:40:42,506 --> 00:40:43,808
Kenny, is that
your product shot?
909
00:40:43,809 --> 00:40:47,450
Yeah, yeah, that's Martha's idea, you
know, we gotta get the brand out there,
910
00:40:47,475 --> 00:40:50,346
she's like, "we gotta put a face
to the name of the company,"
911
00:40:50,370 --> 00:40:53,717
so we're trying to be the Billy mays
of dildos, and everything, you know?
912
00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:55,084
Yeah, but he died, though.
913
00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:56,552
What?
914
00:41:01,959 --> 00:41:04,528
To random encounters.
915
00:41:04,529 --> 00:41:08,833
So, I have a tiny confession
to make.
916
00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:11,802
Okay. -I knew I was going
to see you here tonight.
917
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:14,839
You did? -That's why I
decided to cut my dive short
918
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,773
and get all dressed up.
919
00:41:17,374 --> 00:41:18,843
How did you know
about the party?
920
00:41:18,844 --> 00:41:20,578
It's not that big an island.
921
00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:23,514
You ask the right people the right
questions you can find out anything.
922
00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:25,348
What else do I not
know about you?
923
00:41:25,850 --> 00:41:28,317
I am full of secrets...
924
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:33,157
Well, I have a tiny
confession to make as well..
925
00:41:33,158 --> 00:41:36,527
Things just got interesting.
Let me guess.
926
00:41:36,528 --> 00:41:37,761
You're a spy.
Nope.
927
00:41:37,762 --> 00:41:41,298
The real Harry is just some guy
you left in a ditch somewhere?
928
00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:45,069
Wow, that took
a sharp left turn. No.
929
00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:47,872
Is serial killer
always your second go-to?
930
00:41:47,873 --> 00:41:49,840
I don't know why more people don't
ask that right off the bat.
931
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:53,010
I mean, I think it's a pretty
important thing to know.
932
00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:55,945
- Why, have you killed somebody before?
- I asked you first.
933
00:41:56,780 --> 00:41:58,815
Not that I know of.
934
00:42:00,651 --> 00:42:05,121
So, what was your non-serial
killer confession?
935
00:42:07,725 --> 00:42:09,091
I'm not really...
936
00:42:11,562 --> 00:42:13,497
I'm not really
a big fan of the ocean.
937
00:42:13,498 --> 00:42:16,534
What? What? How
can you not like the ocean?
938
00:42:16,535 --> 00:42:20,070
That's like saying you don't like music
or are not that big a fan of food.
939
00:42:20,071 --> 00:42:21,939
Let me clarify. I used to
like the ocean,
940
00:42:21,940 --> 00:42:24,708
and then I saw this monster hunters
episode where they go looking
941
00:42:24,709 --> 00:42:28,679
for the giant squid, and then ever since
then, haven't stepped foot in the water.
942
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,348
The kraken episode,
that is my favorite episode!
943
00:42:31,349 --> 00:42:33,717
- Yes. It is?
- Totally!
944
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,352
Like when they find out
there's thousands of squid
945
00:42:35,353 --> 00:42:37,922
just hanging out a few hundred
feet below the ocean surface?
946
00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:39,823
- The squid superhighway!
- Superhighway!
947
00:42:39,824 --> 00:42:41,458
Scariest fucking thing
I've ever seen!
948
00:42:41,459 --> 00:42:43,460
Come on, it's not
scary, it's fascinating.
949
00:42:43,461 --> 00:42:46,430
How they all came up to that one
squid, put the camera on him,
950
00:42:46,431 --> 00:42:49,900
and instead of attacking him they
were just curious and looking at him,
951
00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:51,368
it was like, it was so cute.
952
00:42:51,369 --> 00:42:54,471
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Teddy bears are cute.
953
00:42:54,472 --> 00:42:56,206
Penguins are cute.
954
00:42:56,207 --> 00:42:59,043
Super-intelligent squid?
Nightmare fucking material.
955
00:42:59,044 --> 00:43:02,246
Come on.
It doesn't sound amazing?
956
00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:03,814
It's like that ll cool j movie.
No!
957
00:43:03,815 --> 00:43:07,952
I mean, yes on the ll cool j movie,
except that was with sharks.
958
00:43:07,953 --> 00:43:09,987
But no on the giant squid.
959
00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:12,323
They are like
the assholes of the ocean.
960
00:43:12,324 --> 00:43:15,492
That's why all the deep-sea divers
had to wear those special wet suits
961
00:43:15,493 --> 00:43:18,228
it had so much chainmail on it,
it was basically bulletproof.
962
00:43:18,229 --> 00:43:20,763
I know! How awesome is that?
963
00:43:21,532 --> 00:43:23,767
Okay, like...
964
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:29,807
When you see something that is
beautiful and captivating and unknown,
965
00:43:29,808 --> 00:43:31,974
don't you just wanna jump in?
966
00:43:36,981 --> 00:43:38,082
No!
967
00:43:38,083 --> 00:43:42,252
Not at all. In fact, ever
since I saw that episode,
968
00:43:42,253 --> 00:43:45,189
I've been eating more
calamari, 'cause fuck squid.
969
00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:49,960
Well, that's just too bad,
'cause I'm part squid, you know?
970
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:52,429
- You are?
- On my mother's side.
971
00:43:52,430 --> 00:43:53,829
They're from northern Europe.
972
00:43:54,598 --> 00:43:57,768
You don't look squid-ish at all.
973
00:43:57,769 --> 00:43:59,835
Well, check it out.
974
00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:05,007
It's a Gill.
975
00:44:05,976 --> 00:44:07,476
How'd you do that?
976
00:44:09,246 --> 00:44:11,113
Same way I did this.
977
00:44:13,117 --> 00:44:15,785
This is for my aunt bernice.
978
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:26,862
Fuck squid!
979
00:44:26,997 --> 00:44:28,432
Harry?
980
00:44:28,433 --> 00:44:30,868
Harry, are you okay?
981
00:44:30,869 --> 00:44:33,404
What happened? -I don't
know, you just kept saying
982
00:44:33,405 --> 00:44:36,040
"fuck squid" over and over
again, and then you...
983
00:44:36,041 --> 00:44:38,475
Okay, you know what?
This party is lame,
984
00:44:38,476 --> 00:44:41,410
we're leaving. Are you
coming or are you staying?
985
00:44:42,279 --> 00:44:44,515
What the fuck
are you looking at?
986
00:44:44,516 --> 00:44:46,816
Are you having a stroke?
987
00:44:50,554 --> 00:44:52,054
Hello?
988
00:44:56,894 --> 00:44:59,630
What the fuck is wrong
with this guy?
989
00:44:59,631 --> 00:45:01,532
Okay, you know what?
We're leaving.
990
00:45:01,533 --> 00:45:04,834
Okay. Are you gonna be okay?
Bye, Harry.
991
00:45:07,938 --> 00:45:09,405
Fuck squid.
992
00:45:12,510 --> 00:45:15,979
So this guy, he's like, "hey,
man, that's not a wrench,"
993
00:45:15,980 --> 00:45:18,614
and I was like, "don't worry,
I'm not a mechanic!"
994
00:45:21,686 --> 00:45:24,687
Man, that was... I didn't see that
one coming, man. That's great.
995
00:45:25,289 --> 00:45:28,092
Thanks, Kenny. Thanks, Martha.
996
00:45:28,093 --> 00:45:30,561
I just want to say thanks for inviting
us over here, you guys are so cool.
997
00:45:30,562 --> 00:45:34,665
You thought you were going to a
meth lab in the woods, didn't you?
998
00:45:34,666 --> 00:45:36,433
No, I didn't... -That's what,
that's what he thought.
999
00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:39,436
Okay, for, like, a second!
Just for a second!
1000
00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:41,201
You don't know what
you're getting into!
1001
00:45:41,226 --> 00:45:44,135
No, man, now see, that's the thing,
like, I know what it looks like,
1002
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,211
but we don't judge people here, that's
what's going on here. I love that.
1003
00:45:47,212 --> 00:45:50,547
Anybody can come, you do
what you wanna do. -Yes.
1004
00:45:50,548 --> 00:45:52,149
- You do who you wanna do.
- Yes.
1005
00:45:52,150 --> 00:45:54,418
I know it looks like
a lot of derelicts
1006
00:45:54,419 --> 00:45:57,020
and ne'er do Wells around here,
shady characters, you know?
1007
00:45:57,021 --> 00:46:01,258
But some of these people, some of
these people are nobel prize winners,
1008
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:02,760
you know?
1009
00:46:02,761 --> 00:46:04,328
That guy won a nobel prize?
1010
00:46:04,329 --> 00:46:07,431
Him, no, no.
That's Jerry. Jerry's...
1011
00:46:07,432 --> 00:46:09,533
Jerry's got a crack problem.
1012
00:46:09,534 --> 00:46:11,368
Here, baby. Have one of these.
1013
00:46:11,369 --> 00:46:13,110
Martha, I can't have
any more of these,
1014
00:46:13,135 --> 00:46:15,105
I've been fucking eating
the shit out of them.
1015
00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:17,608
- So I'm full. You know.
- You ate a bunch of these?
1016
00:46:17,609 --> 00:46:19,942
Yeah, kind of for dinner.
1017
00:46:21,246 --> 00:46:22,946
What?
1018
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:24,980
He ate them for dinner.
1019
00:46:26,317 --> 00:46:28,152
You wanted to get on our level.
1020
00:46:28,153 --> 00:46:30,354
You just did, man.
1021
00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:32,656
With a bullet.
1022
00:46:32,657 --> 00:46:35,159
I hope that tux has
a seatbelt, buddy.
1023
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:39,096
These aren't mints? -No, baby,
these aren't just mints.
1024
00:46:39,097 --> 00:46:41,832
We found out these orgies always
turned out a little more fun
1025
00:46:41,833 --> 00:46:43,767
if everybody was tripping balls.
1026
00:46:43,768 --> 00:46:45,369
So we...
1027
00:46:45,370 --> 00:46:46,603
Ooh, speaking of balls.
1028
00:46:46,604 --> 00:46:47,905
Did you say orgy?
1029
00:46:47,906 --> 00:46:50,940
Here we go. What is it,
8:30 already?
1030
00:46:52,109 --> 00:46:54,577
Um, bowie, guess what type
of oreo I like best.
1031
00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:56,213
Can you guess?
1032
00:46:56,214 --> 00:46:58,615
Probably a double stuffed,
you're going to say?
1033
00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:00,558
How did you... You
heard that joke already.
1034
00:47:00,583 --> 00:47:04,354
I love that almost as much as I love getting
banged by two boys at the same time.
1035
00:47:04,355 --> 00:47:07,191
All right. Dealer's choice. Lightning
round. Let's go. Who wants what?
1036
00:47:07,192 --> 00:47:09,225
Yeah, look,
i gotta coach, so get...
1037
00:47:09,393 --> 00:47:11,094
Jesus Christ.
1038
00:47:11,095 --> 00:47:14,364
Look at the ass on this one.
Who's your dad, Michelangelo?
1039
00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:16,667
It's like two cantaloupes trying
to kiss each other back there.
1040
00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:19,369
Look at that. Let them even
move when you did that.
1041
00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:20,737
That's good.
1042
00:47:20,738 --> 00:47:24,174
That's a strong ass.
Just relax, man. Just relax.
1043
00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:25,791
Sweetie, do you
want to get fucked?
1044
00:47:25,816 --> 00:47:27,811
Because, no, no, you're
a guest in our home.
1045
00:47:27,812 --> 00:47:30,113
You gotta loosen up.
You fucked me, Kenny.
1046
00:47:30,114 --> 00:47:33,249
No, I mean somebody might
fuck you, but it wasn't me.
1047
00:47:42,926 --> 00:47:44,894
Gotta find Harry.
1048
00:47:50,767 --> 00:47:52,902
Gotta find Harry.
1049
00:47:55,339 --> 00:47:57,273
Gotta find Harry.
1050
00:48:01,011 --> 00:48:03,878
Gotta find Harry. Gotta find Harry.
Gotta find Harry.
1051
00:48:06,885 --> 00:48:12,456
Fuck Harry. Let's go bury
ourselves in some man ass.
1052
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:13,757
Who said that?
1053
00:48:13,758 --> 00:48:15,791
Down here!
1054
00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:18,627
What's up, motherfucker?
1055
00:48:19,296 --> 00:48:21,999
No. This is crazy. This is bad.
1056
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,635
I know. This orgy
started 20 minutes ago,
1057
00:48:24,636 --> 00:48:28,205
and I haven't played reverse jenga with
any of these fine pieces of man meat.
1058
00:48:28,206 --> 00:48:30,073
It's a tragedy!
1059
00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,983
How is that a tragedy?
We're not gay, that sounds crazy to me.
1060
00:48:33,008 --> 00:48:34,198
Speak for yourself, breeder.
1061
00:48:34,223 --> 00:48:35,812
What do you mean, i bang chicks!
1062
00:48:35,813 --> 00:48:38,115
Don't remind me. I was there.
1063
00:48:38,116 --> 00:48:40,183
Yeah, so how are you gay? I don't
fucking get what you're saying.
1064
00:48:40,184 --> 00:48:41,418
Don't talk so loud.
1065
00:48:41,419 --> 00:48:43,053
Bitch, you're not
the boss of me.
1066
00:48:43,054 --> 00:48:44,586
You don't know everything that I do.
1067
00:48:44,611 --> 00:48:48,014
Yeah, I thought I did. This is a real
betrayal i didn't see coming at all.
1068
00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:52,329
Harry.
1069
00:48:52,330 --> 00:48:53,530
Harry.
1070
00:48:53,531 --> 00:48:56,365
Harry, I'm freaking out, man.
1071
00:48:57,367 --> 00:48:58,734
Don't be rude.
1072
00:49:00,304 --> 00:49:01,670
Say hi to Jessica.
1073
00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:05,908
Hello.
1074
00:49:07,244 --> 00:49:09,011
How are you doing that
with your eyes?
1075
00:49:11,748 --> 00:49:13,115
I don't know.
1076
00:49:46,950 --> 00:49:50,520
Ten, 20, 30. Suppose we have ten fingers.
What if we had nine fingers?
1077
00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:53,589
Then what would it be?
Nine, eight, 27, 36.
1078
00:49:58,061 --> 00:50:00,597
Look at my times tables. I'm a
fucking times table wizard.
1079
00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:02,499
I remember in first grade
i couldn't do my times tables,
1080
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:06,468
I cried so hard, the teacher just passed me
because she didn't want to deal with it.
1081
00:50:16,346 --> 00:50:18,026
Dude, my thoughts
are in Spanish right now.
1082
00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:21,617
That's fucked,
'cause I don't know Spanish.
1083
00:50:26,923 --> 00:50:28,290
Bowie.
1084
00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:30,460
What?
1085
00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,895
Christine never liked
regular red M&M's.
1086
00:50:33,597 --> 00:50:35,165
She thought they were boring.
1087
00:50:35,166 --> 00:50:36,532
That's weird.
1088
00:50:37,134 --> 00:50:39,134
She'd never eat a red M&M.
1089
00:50:39,770 --> 00:50:41,904
Never eat a red M&M.
1090
00:50:41,938 --> 00:50:43,673
Red M&M.
1091
00:50:43,674 --> 00:50:45,741
Maybe I'm just a regular
red M&M.
1092
00:50:47,278 --> 00:50:49,479
You are a regular red M&M.
1093
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:51,715
There's so many other types
of M&M's.
1094
00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:54,618
I don't like when the M&M's
take their shells off...
1095
00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:56,987
And they pretend like
it's their clothes.
1096
00:50:56,988 --> 00:50:59,621
'Cause that's not their clothes.
That's their skin.
1097
00:50:59,856 --> 00:51:01,558
Dark chocolate M&M's.
1098
00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:02,925
Dark chocolate.
1099
00:51:03,026 --> 00:51:04,494
Pretzel M&M's.
1100
00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:06,396
- Pretzel.
- Mini M&M's.
1101
00:51:06,397 --> 00:51:09,499
- Mini.
- Pumpkin spice M&M's!
1102
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:10,934
Harry?
1103
00:51:10,935 --> 00:51:12,295
You need to bust out
of your shell.
1104
00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:16,312
That's a good metaphor
for what we're talking about.
1105
00:51:21,511 --> 00:51:24,012
I'm just an M&M!
1106
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:28,952
I'm just an M&M.
1107
00:51:28,953 --> 00:51:31,420
I don't wanna be an M&M anymore.
1108
00:51:37,327 --> 00:51:39,261
I think my dick's gay, man.
1109
00:51:51,908 --> 00:51:53,275
Good morning.
1110
00:51:56,012 --> 00:51:57,347
What happened?
1111
00:51:57,348 --> 00:51:58,714
I don't know.
1112
00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:04,953
Wait...
1113
00:52:05,388 --> 00:52:06,957
Is this crocodile dundee ii?
1114
00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:08,425
Yeah.
1115
00:52:08,426 --> 00:52:10,660
You got up just in time, man,
this is my favorite part.
1116
00:52:10,661 --> 00:52:12,162
Yeah.
1117
00:52:12,163 --> 00:52:14,364
This is where he switches
clothes with the bad guy
1118
00:52:14,365 --> 00:52:17,234
so that the other bad guys shoot
their boss instead of him.
1119
00:52:17,235 --> 00:52:18,567
- Yeah.
- It's genius.
1120
00:52:18,568 --> 00:52:19,935
So good.
1121
00:52:21,738 --> 00:52:23,618
You know what would make
this movie even better?
1122
00:52:23,707 --> 00:52:24,941
Danny trejo?
1123
00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:26,409
Fucking right!
1124
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:28,545
- Danny trejo makes everything better.
- Yeah, he does.
1125
00:52:28,546 --> 00:52:30,517
Imagine crocodile dundee
ii starring Danny trejo...
1126
00:52:30,542 --> 00:52:31,882
Movie would be
10 minutes long.
1127
00:52:31,883 --> 00:52:35,952
They would just steal his girlfriend,
and then they'd call him and be like,
1128
00:52:35,953 --> 00:52:38,420
"hey, we have your girlfriend,"
and he'd just be like...
1129
00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:43,894
And then they would just send her back with
an apology letter and a box of chocolates.
1130
00:52:43,895 --> 00:52:45,996
What about jaws
starring Danny trejo?
1131
00:52:45,997 --> 00:52:48,365
- Okay, is Danny trejo jaws?
- No.
1132
00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:51,902
Danny trejo swims out into the
middle of the ocean to find jaws,
1133
00:52:51,903 --> 00:52:54,638
uppercuts jaws,
sends jaws in orbit,
1134
00:52:54,639 --> 00:52:58,375
and then Danny trejo just stares into
the camera for an hour and a half.
1135
00:52:58,376 --> 00:53:00,810
Ooh. Independence day
starring Danny trejo.
1136
00:53:00,811 --> 00:53:03,146
Danny trejo rides his motorcycle into
space, straight onto the alien spaceship
1137
00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:08,151
and just looks at them all and goes,
"don't even fucking think about it."
1138
00:53:08,152 --> 00:53:12,255
And then aliens are like, "sorry," and they leave,
and then Danny trejo just goes to will Smith like,
1139
00:53:12,256 --> 00:53:14,724
"quit fucking around
and start rapping."
1140
00:53:14,725 --> 00:53:16,960
Castaway starring Danny trejo.
1141
00:53:16,961 --> 00:53:19,429
Where it's just trejo?
I like a just trejo film.
1142
00:53:19,430 --> 00:53:22,265
Except for the volleyball,
which is also Danny trejo.
1143
00:53:22,266 --> 00:53:24,534
Indiana trejo, where, the...
1144
00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:28,104
That he opens up the ark of the covenant
and then the ark of the covenant melts.
1145
00:53:28,105 --> 00:53:30,440
'Cause it saw Danny trejo.
1146
00:53:30,441 --> 00:53:33,243
What if, instead of fight
club, it's Danny trejo club.
1147
00:53:33,244 --> 00:53:35,912
Danny trejo is...
Mrs. doubtfire.
1148
00:53:35,913 --> 00:53:38,046
- Ooh.
- "Toodeloo."
1149
00:53:38,315 --> 00:53:39,783
"I miss my kids."
1150
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,185
What about Sophie's choice
starring Danny trejo. -Ooh.
1151
00:53:42,186 --> 00:53:45,322
So Danny trejo has to decide
between two other Danny trejos.
1152
00:53:45,323 --> 00:53:47,791
- So that's a triple trejo.
- Talking about a triple trejo.
1153
00:53:47,792 --> 00:53:51,394
Ooh. The lion king,
after mufasa held up simba,
1154
00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:54,864
the camera turns around, and it's not
simba, it's goddamn Danny trejo.
1155
00:53:54,865 --> 00:53:57,109
And then mufasa's like,
"everything the light touches"
1156
00:53:57,134 --> 00:54:00,285
"except for the elephant graveyard"
and Danny trejo's like, "fuck you, dude,"
1157
00:54:00,310 --> 00:54:02,839
and he goes straight to the
elephant graveyard, and guess what?
1158
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:04,273
That's his now, too.
1159
00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:15,484
Yes.
1160
00:54:15,819 --> 00:54:17,185
Thank you.
1161
00:54:18,688 --> 00:54:20,523
- Got the bags!
- Yes!
1162
00:54:20,524 --> 00:54:23,892
Can't wait to get out of these tuxedos.
Yeah, I've been needing this guy.
1163
00:54:24,561 --> 00:54:26,028
All right.
1164
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,463
Yes.
1165
00:54:28,898 --> 00:54:30,700
This is your go bag?
1166
00:54:30,701 --> 00:54:31,768
Booze and candy?
1167
00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:33,603
What would be in your go bag?
1168
00:54:33,604 --> 00:54:35,905
I dunno, maybe a toothbrush,
some socks...
1169
00:54:35,906 --> 00:54:38,742
No, man, I wanna have some
fun if I need to leave town.
1170
00:54:38,743 --> 00:54:40,108
Dig around. You're gonna
love it.
1171
00:54:40,910 --> 00:54:42,145
Nice. Baseball cards.
1172
00:54:42,146 --> 00:54:44,214
Yeah, I've been thinking,
and in the future,
1173
00:54:44,215 --> 00:54:46,016
money will end up being
valueless,
1174
00:54:46,017 --> 00:54:48,251
but you know what people will
always Cherish and want?
1175
00:54:48,252 --> 00:54:49,785
Ken griffey Jr.
1176
00:54:51,087 --> 00:54:53,356
- Whoa!
- Fuck man, what the shit?
1177
00:54:53,357 --> 00:54:54,891
That is not my bag.
Yeah, I know.
1178
00:54:54,892 --> 00:54:58,695
I think I'd figure it out if my best
friend was fucking Pablo Escobar.
1179
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:00,930
What are you doing? How did
this fucking get here?
1180
00:55:00,931 --> 00:55:02,699
Hello?
1181
00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:04,800
- Hi. The door was open.
- Hey, Colette.
1182
00:55:05,168 --> 00:55:07,037
- Hi.
- Do you want some...
1183
00:55:07,038 --> 00:55:11,274
Some salt water Taffy? -No, we don't
have a lot of it. No thanks, I'm good.
1184
00:55:11,275 --> 00:55:14,676
I just came by because Angela wants
to hire you for us for the day.
1185
00:55:15,478 --> 00:55:16,845
Okay, for what?
1186
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,049
Massages.
1187
00:55:19,050 --> 00:55:22,952
- Yes. Because that's...
- That's what we do. That's what we do.
1188
00:55:22,953 --> 00:55:24,854
That's who we are.
Great.
1189
00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:28,792
So we'll come... You should go,
you go get ready on the yacht.
1190
00:55:28,793 --> 00:55:30,727
Yeah, we'll freshen up, and...
1191
00:55:30,728 --> 00:55:32,394
- We'll meet you there.
- Just go ahead.
1192
00:55:33,196 --> 00:55:34,896
Okay, yeah. I'll see you there.
1193
00:55:35,031 --> 00:55:37,567
Okay. - My god. - My god.
1194
00:55:37,568 --> 00:55:42,137
You figure out what to do with this, um,
I'm gonna go get us some clothes, okay?
1195
00:55:47,544 --> 00:55:49,713
You couldn't
find anything better?
1196
00:55:49,714 --> 00:55:51,214
I wouldn't be caught dead
in this.
1197
00:55:51,215 --> 00:55:53,850
This is by far the coolest stuff
they had at the gift shop.
1198
00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:55,819
We look like extras
on Magnum, p.I.
1199
00:55:55,820 --> 00:55:57,986
Okay, how is that a bad thing?
1200
00:55:58,288 --> 00:55:59,655
Tom Selleck?
1201
00:56:00,890 --> 00:56:02,257
Goddamn it, you're right.
1202
00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:03,759
He is timeless.
1203
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,695
Ladies!
1204
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:08,898
Last night was crazy. Who's
ready to feel some magic...
1205
00:56:08,899 --> 00:56:11,101
What are you guys? What are you...
okay. Ouch.
1206
00:56:11,102 --> 00:56:13,303
Hey, this guy's
pinching my neck right now!
1207
00:56:13,304 --> 00:56:14,936
He's got a monkey grip.
1208
00:56:17,741 --> 00:56:19,242
Who the fuck are you?
1209
00:56:19,243 --> 00:56:20,742
I don't know.
Who the fuck are you?
1210
00:56:21,811 --> 00:56:23,378
What?
1211
00:56:27,016 --> 00:56:28,750
Honey...
1212
00:56:31,421 --> 00:56:32,888
Do you know these guys?
1213
00:56:33,390 --> 00:56:35,291
Um...
1214
00:56:35,292 --> 00:56:37,592
No, I never seen them
before in my life.
1215
00:56:38,828 --> 00:56:42,632
Well what's he talking about
magic fingers, then?
1216
00:56:42,633 --> 00:56:50,306
You know what? I was dancing with the girls the
other night at the club, and I hurt my back,
1217
00:56:50,307 --> 00:56:53,476
so I called the hotel and I said, "do
youse have any massage therapists?"
1218
00:56:53,477 --> 00:56:55,912
This must be them, you guys are
the massage therapists, right?
1219
00:56:55,913 --> 00:56:58,548
Yep, that's us. -Okay, cool,
yeah, so they're from the hotel.
1220
00:56:58,549 --> 00:57:01,050
- That makes sense. Yeah.
- Yeah.
1221
00:57:01,051 --> 00:57:04,419
I mean, what two idiots are going to
voluntarily wear clothes like that?
1222
00:57:05,522 --> 00:57:07,657
So, the hotel makes you wear
this shit?
1223
00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:10,160
Yes, sir. Feels like fiberglass.
1224
00:57:10,161 --> 00:57:11,594
- Pretty itchy.
- I bet it is.
1225
00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:15,530
May I see? I actually think it makes me
look quite strapping. Kinda buff, even.
1226
00:57:16,466 --> 00:57:18,735
Also a magnet for Bo.
I guess.
1227
00:57:18,736 --> 00:57:22,172
Okay, honey, why don't you
go downstairs and get ready.
1228
00:57:22,173 --> 00:57:24,007
I'll send your friends
down in a sec.
1229
00:57:24,008 --> 00:57:25,942
Thank you, honey, i love you.
1230
00:57:25,943 --> 00:57:28,164
Anything for you, sugar lips.
1231
00:57:28,189 --> 00:57:32,171
You guys have a really
beautiful relationship.
1232
00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:34,017
Thank you.
1233
00:57:34,018 --> 00:57:38,253
So... Your massage therapy
story might check out,
1234
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:41,090
but that still doesn't mean
you're not gonna try
1235
00:57:41,091 --> 00:57:44,027
to get your slimy little
pencil dicks into my wife.
1236
00:57:44,028 --> 00:57:45,395
- Slimy...
- Mine's actually average,
1237
00:57:45,396 --> 00:57:47,738
I've done research, and I
have nothing to be ashamed of.
1238
00:57:47,763 --> 00:57:49,833
Sir, I can assure you
that on behalf of the...
1239
00:57:49,834 --> 00:57:54,736
Tradewinds island resort, we have no
ill-intentions towards your wife whatsoever.
1240
00:57:55,872 --> 00:57:57,239
Why would I believe that?
1241
00:57:58,608 --> 00:58:01,244
- Because...
- Because we're gay.
1242
00:58:01,245 --> 00:58:02,979
- Because we're gay.
- Yep.
1243
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:04,846
Yeah.
1244
00:58:05,181 --> 00:58:06,649
- Gay?
- Super.
1245
00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,451
Super gay. We do all
the stereotypes.
1246
00:58:08,452 --> 00:58:09,819
I won best dressed
in high school...
1247
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:12,088
Yep, yep,
we watch a lot of bravo.
1248
00:58:12,089 --> 00:58:14,218
Really? -We make, like,
passionate love to lady gaga,
1249
00:58:14,243 --> 00:58:16,384
like, passionate love,
it's like two suns burning.
1250
00:58:16,409 --> 00:58:17,560
That's a lot of detail.
1251
00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:19,361
You two knuckleheads,
1252
00:58:19,929 --> 00:58:21,730
you walk on to my yacht,
1253
00:58:22,065 --> 00:58:24,300
wanna touch my wife,
1254
00:58:24,301 --> 00:58:26,902
tell me you're gay and you
expect me to believe it?
1255
00:58:29,405 --> 00:58:30,772
Yes?
1256
00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:35,677
Okay, then. Do you need help
finding your way downstairs?
1257
00:58:37,313 --> 00:58:39,849
Wait, for real?
You believe it? We're good?
1258
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,150
Yeah, sure. I believe you.
1259
00:58:41,151 --> 00:58:43,686
I mean, what, I'm gonna make
you touch dicks or something?
1260
00:58:43,687 --> 00:58:46,856
This is the 21st century
for Christ's sakes,
1261
00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:51,027
couple of finnocchios tell me they're
gay, which you two obviously are,
1262
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,695
I'm not gonna make you
have to prove it.
1263
00:58:52,696 --> 00:58:55,440
It's like telling me you're
left-handed or red-headed.
1264
00:58:55,465 --> 00:58:57,554
I mean, I dunno if it's
obvious that we're gay.
1265
00:58:57,579 --> 00:58:59,947
Not quite sure what Pinocchio
has to do with this.
1266
00:58:59,972 --> 00:59:01,671
I feel like we give
off a masculine vibe.
1267
00:59:01,672 --> 00:59:03,939
Not at all. See my guys here?
1268
00:59:04,908 --> 00:59:06,242
They're gay!
1269
00:59:06,243 --> 00:59:07,742
I officiated at their wedding.
1270
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:09,512
Very beautiful.
1271
00:59:09,513 --> 00:59:11,012
Your mother cried...
1272
00:59:11,681 --> 00:59:12,882
- Very sweet.
- That's wonderful.
1273
00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:15,618
Now go.
Don't keep my wife waiting.
1274
00:59:15,619 --> 00:59:16,986
You guys need help
finding your way downstairs?
1275
00:59:16,987 --> 00:59:18,521
Nope, we'll find it.
1276
00:59:18,522 --> 00:59:20,490
If you guys excuse me, I've got
some business to attend to.
1277
00:59:20,491 --> 00:59:21,857
No problem.
1278
00:59:24,727 --> 00:59:26,396
Just go below.
1279
00:59:26,397 --> 00:59:28,430
But way below, 'cause it's
a big boat.
1280
00:59:35,071 --> 00:59:36,606
I'm nervous.
1281
00:59:36,607 --> 00:59:39,574
I'm not. I do this stuff at
work all the time. What?
1282
00:59:40,109 --> 00:59:41,476
Hello?
1283
00:59:44,213 --> 00:59:45,981
- Hello.
- Hi.
1284
00:59:46,282 --> 00:59:47,383
You ready?
1285
00:59:47,384 --> 00:59:48,851
Yeah, so, where do you want me?
1286
00:59:48,852 --> 00:59:50,153
The bed.
1287
00:59:50,154 --> 00:59:51,588
I mean... this table.
1288
00:59:51,589 --> 00:59:52,988
Table bed.
1289
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:55,959
- Yeah.
- I'll turn around.
1290
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:57,325
Thank you.
1291
00:59:57,694 --> 00:59:59,060
Okay.
1292
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:05,101
- Hello.
- Hi.
1293
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:08,054
Before we get started, you
should know that a lot of
1294
01:00:08,079 --> 01:00:11,030
my clients refer to me as
the David Blaine of magic.
1295
01:00:11,374 --> 01:00:12,508
That doesn't make sense.
1296
01:00:12,509 --> 01:00:13,943
David Blaine... never mind.
Teachable moment.
1297
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:17,690
Did you know that it's well
documented in scientific
1298
01:00:17,715 --> 01:00:21,498
and anthropological communities
that while comparable
1299
01:00:21,523 --> 01:00:25,200
and complementary skills and
attributes are absolutely
1300
01:00:25,225 --> 01:00:31,060
essential in achieving intimacy between
two people, the same is not so much
1301
01:00:31,061 --> 01:00:34,297
true when it comes to things
like sexual fulfillment or
1302
01:00:34,298 --> 01:00:37,634
sheer, unbridled
animalistic passion.
1303
01:00:37,635 --> 01:00:40,069
- What the fuck is happening?
- Eye contact.
1304
01:00:40,070 --> 01:00:43,673
Studies have shown that when it comes to
pure adulterated no strings attached sex
1305
01:00:43,674 --> 01:00:47,010
that's when the highest levels of dopamine
and oxytocin are released from the body.
1306
01:00:47,011 --> 01:00:48,144
And subsequently,
1307
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,747
the most intense and
pleasurable orgasms occur
1308
01:00:50,748 --> 01:00:54,717
when one partner has disproportionately
more of something than the other.
1309
01:00:54,718 --> 01:00:58,287
In our case, it's like, "my god,
take your pick," i mean maturity.
1310
01:00:58,288 --> 01:01:00,089
- No.
- Basic self-awareness.
1311
01:01:00,090 --> 01:01:01,991
I am very aware that i am great.
1312
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:03,559
Ability to see at night.
1313
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:05,308
Who has that? Which
one of us is a lemur?
1314
01:01:05,333 --> 01:01:08,787
I mean the list goes on and on. You get
it, blah, blah, blah. You're terrible!
1315
01:01:11,634 --> 01:01:12,935
Intercourse...
1316
01:01:12,936 --> 01:01:14,302
Commence!
1317
01:01:14,837 --> 01:01:16,338
Okay!
1318
01:01:31,754 --> 01:01:33,156
Whoa.
1319
01:01:33,157 --> 01:01:34,622
Are you okay?
1320
01:01:34,724 --> 01:01:36,125
Yep. Yeah.
1321
01:01:36,126 --> 01:01:38,061
Just...
1322
01:01:38,062 --> 01:01:39,427
Fluffing your aura.
1323
01:01:41,231 --> 01:01:42,665
Yeah.
1324
01:01:42,666 --> 01:01:44,232
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1325
01:01:50,273 --> 01:01:51,641
So, um...
1326
01:01:51,642 --> 01:01:54,709
Do you that think maybe
you can get my upper bicuspid?
1327
01:01:56,179 --> 01:01:57,545
Your upper bicuspid?
1328
01:01:58,114 --> 01:02:00,083
Sure.
1329
01:02:00,084 --> 01:02:02,917
Of course, mine always
gets tight as well.
1330
01:02:04,420 --> 01:02:05,988
Okay, okay...
1331
01:02:05,989 --> 01:02:07,056
What are you doing?
1332
01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:08,124
What are you talking about?
1333
01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:09,824
This is my bicuspid!
1334
01:02:10,426 --> 01:02:12,095
Why do you want me
to massage your tooth?
1335
01:02:12,096 --> 01:02:13,763
My god, I don't want you
to massage my tooth.
1336
01:02:13,764 --> 01:02:15,531
- Now who the fuck are you?
- Okay!
1337
01:02:15,532 --> 01:02:16,898
Okay.
1338
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:19,569
- I'm not a massage therapist.
- No shit.
1339
01:02:19,570 --> 01:02:20,770
Or a dentist.
1340
01:02:20,771 --> 01:02:22,405
And by the way I looked up
the handies.
1341
01:02:22,406 --> 01:02:23,606
You don't even want to know
what came up.
1342
01:02:23,607 --> 01:02:24,973
All right, the truth...
1343
01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:27,242
I'm here on my honeymoon.
1344
01:02:28,411 --> 01:02:29,512
With bowie?
1345
01:02:29,513 --> 01:02:30,947
Yeah.
1346
01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:33,848
No, not like that.
1347
01:02:34,650 --> 01:02:37,253
I was supposed to get married
this past weekend.
1348
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:38,755
Obviously, it didn't happen.
1349
01:02:38,756 --> 01:02:40,869
And so now, bowie and I decided
to go on the honeymoon together.
1350
01:02:40,894 --> 01:02:43,168
It's just been a complete
what-the-fuck fest ever since.
1351
01:02:43,193 --> 01:02:44,364
I don't know what's going on.
1352
01:02:44,390 --> 01:02:47,397
Okay, the only thing I do know is
that the only time I'm not completely
1353
01:02:47,397 --> 01:02:49,664
miserable is when I'm with you.
1354
01:02:51,100 --> 01:02:52,368
Wow.
1355
01:02:52,369 --> 01:02:53,735
Yeah.
1356
01:02:54,203 --> 01:02:55,570
That really sucks.
1357
01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:59,575
No, I mean that part about
1358
01:02:59,576 --> 01:03:01,076
your wedding sucks.
1359
01:03:01,944 --> 01:03:04,212
The other part was really sweet.
1360
01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:08,189
You're the best thing that's
happened to me since Friday.
1361
01:03:15,124 --> 01:03:16,893
You know, I've seen a lot of
1362
01:03:16,894 --> 01:03:18,995
movies that start out this way.
1363
01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:21,996
I've been in a lot of movies
that started out this way.
1364
01:03:25,234 --> 01:03:26,769
No, really.
1365
01:03:26,770 --> 01:03:31,706
So if at any point I start taking
off these sexy little shorts...
1366
01:03:33,509 --> 01:03:35,343
Just stop me, it's a bad habit.
1367
01:03:37,346 --> 01:03:38,847
Okay, noted.
1368
01:03:40,316 --> 01:03:42,051
I'll...
1369
01:03:42,052 --> 01:03:43,286
Do some rocks.
1370
01:03:43,287 --> 01:03:44,652
My specialty.
1371
01:03:52,461 --> 01:03:54,729
That's...
1372
01:03:57,201 --> 01:03:59,167
Okay, that one was hot.
It was on the bottom.
1373
01:03:59,702 --> 01:04:01,069
It's okay.
1374
01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:03,605
Yes!
1375
01:04:07,911 --> 01:04:09,811
My god, damn it!
1376
01:04:11,715 --> 01:04:13,916
I'm out of rocks, um...
1377
01:04:13,917 --> 01:04:15,151
I'm gonna go find some more.
1378
01:04:15,152 --> 01:04:16,518
You stay right here.
1379
01:04:17,620 --> 01:04:19,721
You're a sweet,
sweet angel from heaven.
1380
01:04:24,627 --> 01:04:25,695
So...
1381
01:04:25,696 --> 01:04:27,061
How did it end?
1382
01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:29,430
Spectacularly.
1383
01:04:31,734 --> 01:04:33,234
So what do you really do?
1384
01:04:35,138 --> 01:04:36,239
I'm a lawyer.
1385
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:37,940
- Shut up, you're a lawyer?
- Yeah.
1386
01:04:37,941 --> 01:04:40,309
And you've lied about being
a massage therapist?
1387
01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:41,743
I plead the fifth.
1388
01:04:42,913 --> 01:04:44,279
Well done.
1389
01:04:44,780 --> 01:04:46,214
What about you? What do you do?
1390
01:04:48,118 --> 01:04:51,486
I am a professional
waster of potential.
1391
01:04:52,788 --> 01:04:54,290
Okay, what does that mean?
1392
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:56,795
You know when you're a kid
and all you dream about is
1393
01:04:56,820 --> 01:05:00,028
all the wonderful and amazing things
you're gonna do when you grow up?
1394
01:05:00,029 --> 01:05:01,564
Sure.
1395
01:05:01,565 --> 01:05:03,898
Well, I grew up and I never
did any of those things.
1396
01:05:05,101 --> 01:05:06,636
Come on.
1397
01:05:06,637 --> 01:05:08,871
When I was a kid, I dreamed
about being a firetruck.
1398
01:05:08,872 --> 01:05:11,307
Like literally a firetruck.
1399
01:05:11,308 --> 01:05:12,541
That's what I wanted to be.
1400
01:05:12,542 --> 01:05:14,577
Stop.
1401
01:05:14,578 --> 01:05:17,345
I mean, you had to have done
some cool things with your life.
1402
01:05:19,015 --> 01:05:20,515
Yeah, I've done some things.
1403
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:24,120
Okay...
1404
01:05:24,121 --> 01:05:26,821
It's killing me. I know that I know you.
How do I know you?
1405
01:05:27,056 --> 01:05:28,124
Um...
1406
01:05:29,192 --> 01:05:31,160
Okay. When I was 21,
1407
01:05:31,161 --> 01:05:34,762
I was picked to be the face
of a new energy sports drink.
1408
01:05:37,066 --> 01:05:38,968
Diesel valve.
1409
01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:40,770
- Yeah.
- My god.
1410
01:05:40,771 --> 01:05:42,571
You're the diesel valkyrie.
1411
01:05:42,572 --> 01:05:45,408
Holy shit.
1412
01:05:45,409 --> 01:05:48,577
That super bowl commercial was huge.
You were everywhere.
1413
01:05:48,578 --> 01:05:52,381
Yeah, I was. I mean one minute i was
just some college kid and the next...
1414
01:05:52,382 --> 01:05:53,781
Boom.
1415
01:05:53,983 --> 01:05:55,217
It's crazy.
1416
01:05:55,218 --> 01:05:57,520
You think your life is gonna
go this one way
1417
01:05:57,521 --> 01:06:00,455
and then something happens
that completely changes it.
1418
01:06:00,723 --> 01:06:02,158
Yeah.
1419
01:06:02,159 --> 01:06:03,524
So then what do you do?
1420
01:06:05,828 --> 01:06:07,196
It's your life.
1421
01:06:07,197 --> 01:06:08,596
You live it.
1422
01:06:10,032 --> 01:06:11,200
So no regrets?
1423
01:06:11,201 --> 01:06:13,703
Well, I was just
1424
01:06:13,704 --> 01:06:17,840
two credits shy of getting my degree in
marine biology when everything happened.
1425
01:06:17,841 --> 01:06:20,910
Okay, I get it. That's why
you're scuba diving every day.
1426
01:06:20,911 --> 01:06:23,479
Yeah, yeah, I've actually been
doing it with some of the people
1427
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:24,914
from the marine
institute here and...
1428
01:06:24,915 --> 01:06:29,450
They said if I wanted to stay to work on a
fellowship and finish my degree, I could.
1429
01:06:29,719 --> 01:06:31,085
That's awesome.
1430
01:06:31,887 --> 01:06:33,189
Is it?
I don't know.
1431
01:06:33,190 --> 01:06:36,559
I mean, I wouldn't do it 'cause I'm
scared shitless of the ocean...
1432
01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:38,027
But it's cool for you.
It's scary
1433
01:06:38,028 --> 01:06:42,430
actually, possibly becoming the
person you've always wanted to be.
1434
01:06:43,632 --> 01:06:46,235
I'm not big on plans.
1435
01:06:46,236 --> 01:06:48,471
Well I think if you
have a chance,
1436
01:06:48,472 --> 01:06:49,837
you should go for it.
1437
01:06:53,376 --> 01:06:54,742
Okay.
1438
01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:58,046
Okay what?
1439
01:06:58,748 --> 01:07:00,114
Okay, I'll do it.
1440
01:07:02,351 --> 01:07:04,053
- Yeah.
- That's it?
1441
01:07:04,054 --> 01:07:07,423
You're just gonna make a huge
life-altering decision just like that?
1442
01:07:07,424 --> 01:07:09,657
How else do you make one?
1443
01:07:10,326 --> 01:07:14,063
You just changed my entire life.
1444
01:07:14,064 --> 01:07:15,698
Hold on. Slow down.
1445
01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,734
I think maybe you should think about it.
I can't handle that responsibility.
1446
01:07:18,735 --> 01:07:20,902
It's stressing me out.
1447
01:07:25,074 --> 01:07:27,309
Today was a good day.
1448
01:07:27,310 --> 01:07:29,277
You didn't even have
to use your ak.
1449
01:07:36,919 --> 01:07:39,487
That feels so good.
1450
01:07:40,489 --> 01:07:42,324
Yeah.
1451
01:07:42,325 --> 01:07:44,593
Yeah, you're so good
with your hands.
1452
01:07:44,594 --> 01:07:46,896
Thanks, it's called
the curious cat.
1453
01:07:48,432 --> 01:07:50,800
You want the ocean breeze
package now?
1454
01:07:50,801 --> 01:07:52,268
Ooh, yes, please!
1455
01:07:52,269 --> 01:07:53,868
Coming right up.
1456
01:07:58,641 --> 01:08:00,409
Just like you're at
the ocean, right?
1457
01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:02,945
Maybe if the ocean ate a giant
fucking bowl of nachos.
1458
01:08:02,946 --> 01:08:04,846
Jesus Christ, what'd you eat?
1459
01:08:05,981 --> 01:08:07,448
A giant bowl of nachos.
1460
01:08:07,883 --> 01:08:09,317
We'll stay down here.
1461
01:08:09,885 --> 01:08:12,455
Hey, come on in.
1462
01:08:12,456 --> 01:08:15,191
- Doing this.
- Yeah, doing this.
1463
01:08:15,192 --> 01:08:16,926
Just...
1464
01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:20,162
You all right? -Sorry, I
didn't know you were starting.
1465
01:08:20,163 --> 01:08:21,530
Seem a little tense?
1466
01:08:21,531 --> 01:08:22,832
A little tense.
1467
01:08:22,833 --> 01:08:24,433
Yeah, I haven't
1468
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:26,635
been back here
since my husband passed away
1469
01:08:26,636 --> 01:08:28,537
tragically.
1470
01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:31,307
You're husband passed away
in rancho para?
1471
01:08:31,308 --> 01:08:34,243
Um, yeah, he was
1472
01:08:34,244 --> 01:08:35,945
Vincent's accountant
for many years,
1473
01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:38,312
and then he died in a very
tragic accident.
1474
01:08:38,881 --> 01:08:40,248
What happened?
1475
01:08:40,349 --> 01:08:41,650
Well, he
1476
01:08:41,651 --> 01:08:44,086
accidentally shot himself
in the face
1477
01:08:44,087 --> 01:08:46,255
and then he fell into
a car trunk
1478
01:08:46,256 --> 01:08:48,724
and it landed in the bottom
of the ocean, so...
1479
01:08:48,725 --> 01:08:50,426
It was a lot.
1480
01:08:50,427 --> 01:08:52,128
It was like Murphy's law.
1481
01:08:52,129 --> 01:08:53,395
Like, what else could go wrong?
1482
01:08:53,396 --> 01:08:54,997
Yeah...
1483
01:08:54,998 --> 01:08:56,932
I trust the trip was enjoyable?
1484
01:08:56,933 --> 01:08:58,834
Can we get you anything?
1485
01:08:58,835 --> 01:09:00,802
Hors d'oeuvres,
drinks, something?
1486
01:09:03,706 --> 01:09:05,274
If it's all the same to you,
1487
01:09:05,275 --> 01:09:07,209
let us dispense with the
1488
01:09:07,210 --> 01:09:09,011
- pleasantries.
- Right.
1489
01:09:09,012 --> 01:09:10,946
Straight to business.
No bullshit.
1490
01:09:10,947 --> 01:09:12,447
A man after my own heart.
1491
01:09:14,617 --> 01:09:15,985
I love cash.
1492
01:09:15,986 --> 01:09:18,354
It's always the right size
and the right color.
1493
01:09:18,355 --> 01:09:19,822
You're just so talented.
1494
01:09:19,823 --> 01:09:21,456
Do you ever turn it off?
1495
01:09:22,625 --> 01:09:24,358
I don't know how.
1496
01:09:26,763 --> 01:09:29,298
Careful, my husband's upstairs.
1497
01:09:29,299 --> 01:09:30,765
Yeah, what's up with that guy?
1498
01:09:31,734 --> 01:09:32,902
Well, you know...
1499
01:09:32,903 --> 01:09:34,570
It's funny you should ask.
1500
01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:37,506
He and I have sort of
1501
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:38,807
an agreement.
1502
01:09:38,808 --> 01:09:40,409
Like?
1503
01:09:40,410 --> 01:09:42,978
You both agree Shawshank
redemption is a great move?
1504
01:09:45,381 --> 01:09:48,317
That is a different agreement!
Yeah, no, I like...
1505
01:09:48,318 --> 01:09:50,753
I like this agreement more.
1506
01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:52,354
Wow...
1507
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:54,356
It's actually, like,
totally average.
1508
01:09:54,357 --> 01:09:55,491
Thank you.
1509
01:09:55,492 --> 01:09:57,059
What does Vincent do exactly?
1510
01:09:57,060 --> 01:09:59,161
He's a man of many pursuits.
1511
01:09:59,162 --> 01:10:00,229
Um...
1512
01:10:00,230 --> 01:10:02,831
He has an import-export
business of some sort.
1513
01:10:02,832 --> 01:10:04,767
He owns many
abandoned warehouses.
1514
01:10:04,768 --> 01:10:06,168
He has a limo company.
1515
01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:09,238
Strip club. The limo takes
people to the strip club.
1516
01:10:09,239 --> 01:10:11,807
He has an exotic animal farm
with a lot of lizards.
1517
01:10:11,808 --> 01:10:14,877
He also has very hungry pigs.
1518
01:10:14,878 --> 01:10:16,812
You're going to like
our product.
1519
01:10:16,813 --> 01:10:18,813
It's, primo shit.
1520
01:10:22,952 --> 01:10:25,888
Okay, well, why don't
you lay down, I just gotta
1521
01:10:25,889 --> 01:10:27,356
take care of some things.
1522
01:10:27,357 --> 01:10:29,090
That sounds like Vincent.
1523
01:10:30,293 --> 01:10:32,361
- That's a good impression.
- Just give me one minute...
1524
01:10:32,362 --> 01:10:35,630
- Sure.
- And I'll be right back.
1525
01:10:36,999 --> 01:10:38,834
Bowie?
1526
01:10:38,835 --> 01:10:40,135
Bowie?
1527
01:10:40,136 --> 01:10:41,704
Okay, remember that agreement.
1528
01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:43,372
- Okay.
- Keep that up here.
1529
01:10:43,373 --> 01:10:44,739
- Okay.
- I'll be right back.
1530
01:10:50,513 --> 01:10:52,748
Bowie, come out here.
1531
01:10:52,749 --> 01:10:55,351
Can I talk to you for one minute please?
Thank you.
1532
01:10:55,352 --> 01:10:57,193
What are you doing? I'm
getting to know Angela
1533
01:10:57,218 --> 01:10:59,516
and I'm this close to a fucking
two for Tuesday right now.
1534
01:10:59,541 --> 01:11:01,657
That's a bad idea. Do you
know who her husband is?
1535
01:11:01,658 --> 01:11:04,860
Yeah, he's the nicest man I've ever heard
of. They have a beautiful agreement.
1536
01:11:04,885 --> 01:11:05,995
Yeah, I'm sure they do.
1537
01:11:05,996 --> 01:11:08,497
I bet he made her an offer
she couldn't refuse.
1538
01:11:08,498 --> 01:11:09,898
What are you talking about?
1539
01:11:09,899 --> 01:11:11,767
When she said this
is her family's yacht,
1540
01:11:11,768 --> 01:11:13,669
she didn't mean her family.
1541
01:11:13,670 --> 01:11:15,903
She meant the family!
1542
01:11:16,338 --> 01:11:17,640
Like the Kardashians?
1543
01:11:17,641 --> 01:11:19,808
No! The fucking mafia!
1544
01:11:19,809 --> 01:11:21,777
We need to get the hell
out of here.
1545
01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:23,679
Okay, we just need
seven minutes.
1546
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:24,847
Now!
1547
01:11:24,848 --> 01:11:27,248
I can do it in two and a half.
1548
01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:39,293
Excuse me?
1549
01:11:40,029 --> 01:11:41,297
No, no, no, hold on.
1550
01:11:41,298 --> 01:11:43,465
Let me pull up
my translation app.
1551
01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:44,833
It's some kind of mistake...
1552
01:11:44,834 --> 01:11:46,802
- Can you say that again?
- How dare you disrespect me!
1553
01:11:46,803 --> 01:11:48,269
We'll get this straightened out.
1554
01:11:53,443 --> 01:11:54,843
Bang, bang, bang.
1555
01:11:54,844 --> 01:11:56,210
Nope, you're right, let's go.
1556
01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:00,081
Holy shit!
1557
01:12:03,285 --> 01:12:05,252
This shouldn't
have been that easy.
1558
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:09,156
I mean these are Japanese
triads for Christ's sake.
1559
01:12:10,392 --> 01:12:11,627
I mean these guys
1560
01:12:11,628 --> 01:12:14,530
are lethal killing machines.
You ever watched the movies?
1561
01:12:14,531 --> 01:12:16,832
They, they use knives
and swords and shit.
1562
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:20,803
I mean one guy can take out
an entire squad.
1563
01:12:20,804 --> 01:12:22,571
But here, it was like...
1564
01:12:22,572 --> 01:12:25,407
Bang, bang, bang, they're dead.
1565
01:12:25,408 --> 01:12:28,709
I mean, Craig, you didn't
even put down your tray.
1566
01:12:29,111 --> 01:12:30,479
I'm proud of you.
1567
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,946
Hey, moron!
1568
01:12:32,147 --> 01:12:33,514
Get up here.
1569
01:12:33,716 --> 01:12:35,082
Yeah, boss man.
1570
01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:37,451
What the fuck is this?
1571
01:12:38,955 --> 01:12:41,389
It's a suitcase full of clothes.
1572
01:12:42,958 --> 01:12:44,660
And, um...
1573
01:12:44,661 --> 01:12:46,061
A bunch of dead
1574
01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:47,463
Koreans or...
1575
01:12:47,464 --> 01:12:48,831
Hawaiians maybe?
1576
01:12:48,832 --> 01:12:50,931
Ooh, mini hot-dogs!
1577
01:12:51,133 --> 01:12:53,100
Okay.
1578
01:12:53,502 --> 01:12:55,137
You had one job.
1579
01:12:55,138 --> 01:12:56,872
One fucking job!
1580
01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:58,540
To go to the airport,
1581
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,776
pick up a suitcase for me,
1582
01:13:00,777 --> 01:13:02,243
and bring it back here.
1583
01:13:02,945 --> 01:13:04,879
This is not my suitcase.
1584
01:13:05,280 --> 01:13:07,516
Where is my fucking suitcase?
1585
01:13:07,517 --> 01:13:08,984
Right.
1586
01:13:08,985 --> 01:13:11,820
Funny story, I gave a lift
to these guys as a favor
1587
01:13:11,821 --> 01:13:14,523
of a buddy of mine who
scored me really great weed
1588
01:13:14,524 --> 01:13:16,959
and concert tickets, if you
guys need some. Anyways...
1589
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:21,964
I went and had to get their luggage as
well, I might have switched their bag
1590
01:13:21,965 --> 01:13:23,031
with your bag.
1591
01:13:23,032 --> 01:13:24,099
Honest mistake.
1592
01:13:24,100 --> 01:13:26,042
You know, my fault, but
they're staying here
1593
01:13:26,067 --> 01:13:28,070
on the island so it should
be easy just to get
1594
01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:30,004
the bag back. No harm, no foul.
1595
01:13:36,044 --> 01:13:39,581
Randy, if you weren't my mother's favorite
nephew, i swear to Christ you'd be
1596
01:13:39,582 --> 01:13:40,948
dead like them!
1597
01:13:42,585 --> 01:13:44,452
Thanks, cuz! I love you too.
1598
01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:52,428
Okay, boys, get me Harry fluder.
1599
01:13:52,429 --> 01:13:54,762
F-l-u-d-e-r.
1600
01:13:55,164 --> 01:13:56,664
Flounder? Fluder?
1601
01:13:57,399 --> 01:13:58,766
Just find him.
1602
01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,571
- Tell me you didn't fuck his wife.
- I didn't fuck his wife.
1603
01:14:02,572 --> 01:14:03,739
Promise me you didn't
fuck his wife.
1604
01:14:03,740 --> 01:14:05,474
I promise.
1605
01:14:05,475 --> 01:14:07,641
- I might of touched a boob.
- What?
1606
01:14:08,811 --> 01:14:12,147
We have two minutes to keyser
soze the fuck out of here.
1607
01:14:12,148 --> 01:14:15,384
Okay, well, what are we gonna do about
your drugs? They're not my drugs!
1608
01:14:15,385 --> 01:14:18,120
We're gonna get rid of them.
It's not exactly a carry-on.
1609
01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,572
Goddamn it.
1610
01:14:19,597 --> 01:14:23,926
What can I do? -I don't know.
Get a plunger or something.
1611
01:14:23,927 --> 01:14:25,027
- Something...
- Okay, all right.
1612
01:14:25,028 --> 01:14:26,393
Maybe a hanger?
1613
01:14:28,797 --> 01:14:30,265
This is what I got.
1614
01:14:30,266 --> 01:14:31,733
We can't fuck the drugs away.
1615
01:14:31,734 --> 01:14:33,367
It's all I have right now, man.
1616
01:14:38,341 --> 01:14:39,707
Let me try. Let me try.
1617
01:14:50,220 --> 01:14:51,753
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
1618
01:14:51,754 --> 01:14:54,556
Fuck man. -Is everything
a fucking joke to you?
1619
01:14:54,557 --> 01:14:56,959
Can you even comprehend the
situation that we're in right now?
1620
01:14:56,960 --> 01:14:59,228
Now is when i bet you tell me
that this is all my fault.
1621
01:14:59,229 --> 01:15:01,096
Yes! Of course
this is your fault!
1622
01:15:01,097 --> 01:15:03,298
Who else's fault could it be?
1623
01:15:03,299 --> 01:15:04,399
News flash.
1624
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:05,667
You're not Ferris Bueller.
1625
01:15:05,668 --> 01:15:07,069
You're just a fucking asshole.
Fuck you, man.
1626
01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:11,073
Now is when it comes out? I spend
my whole life looking after you.
1627
01:15:11,074 --> 01:15:13,475
Fucking showing you the time of your
life and this is the thanks I get?
1628
01:15:13,476 --> 01:15:15,177
Sorry did
you want me to thank you?
1629
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:17,012
- Yes.
- Okay, I'm sorry, thank you.
1630
01:15:17,013 --> 01:15:20,449
Thank you for turning my life
into a complete and utter
1631
01:15:20,450 --> 01:15:22,451
fuck-a-palooza.
1632
01:15:22,452 --> 01:15:25,287
None of this was about showing
me the time of my life.
1633
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,254
This is about you not having
to live yours.
1634
01:15:27,789 --> 01:15:29,191
See, you don't want me
to grow up
1635
01:15:29,192 --> 01:15:30,259
because you're afraid
1636
01:15:30,260 --> 01:15:31,660
that I'll leave you behind.
1637
01:15:31,661 --> 01:15:34,428
That's why you're always pulling
some epically stupid shit.
1638
01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:38,098
Well, I'm tired of you
always dragging me down.
1639
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:40,901
That's what you really think?
1640
01:15:41,937 --> 01:15:43,304
Yeah.
1641
01:15:45,607 --> 01:15:46,974
Fuck you.
1642
01:15:47,776 --> 01:15:49,711
You're not my
best friend anymore.
1643
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:51,512
You're not my best friend
anymore either.
1644
01:15:55,984 --> 01:15:57,818
We really gotta start
locking this door.
1645
01:16:04,293 --> 01:16:05,726
Hiya, boys.
1646
01:16:06,495 --> 01:16:08,195
Long time no see!
1647
01:16:08,897 --> 01:16:10,399
All right, so...
1648
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:11,866
Let's cut right to the chase.
1649
01:16:14,136 --> 01:16:15,502
You know me.
1650
01:16:16,238 --> 01:16:17,906
And I
1651
01:16:17,907 --> 01:16:19,406
know you who you are.
1652
01:16:19,875 --> 01:16:23,946
Harry fluder, 5220 Archer road.
1653
01:16:23,947 --> 01:16:25,312
And...
1654
01:16:28,417 --> 01:16:30,519
Beauregard Pemberton.
1655
01:16:30,520 --> 01:16:31,920
Beauregard.
1656
01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:33,454
The fourth?
1657
01:16:34,890 --> 01:16:37,258
There are four of you!
1658
01:16:37,859 --> 01:16:39,361
Yeah...
1659
01:16:39,362 --> 01:16:41,195
302 southwest east,
third street.
1660
01:16:41,730 --> 01:16:43,966
Bingo.
1661
01:16:43,967 --> 01:16:48,102
So I want to apologize for any
discomfort my guys may have caused you.
1662
01:16:48,570 --> 01:16:51,238
Um, can I get you anything?
1663
01:16:51,473 --> 01:16:53,075
We're fine.
1664
01:16:53,076 --> 01:16:54,242
Actually,
1665
01:16:54,243 --> 01:16:56,378
I'd love a sparkling water.
Sure.
1666
01:16:56,379 --> 01:16:57,946
Get him a sparkling water.
1667
01:16:57,947 --> 01:16:59,748
With a lemon wedge?
1668
01:16:59,749 --> 01:17:01,115
Lemon wedge coming up.
1669
01:17:03,318 --> 01:17:04,686
I mean, he's asking.
1670
01:17:04,687 --> 01:17:05,787
So...
1671
01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:07,522
You didn't just bring us here
to kills us?
1672
01:17:07,523 --> 01:17:09,625
No, why would I do that?
1673
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:11,825
I don't know. 'Cause, like,
we could go to the cops.
1674
01:17:11,850 --> 01:17:14,563
I have a cousin who works in the FBI.
I can tell him about...
1675
01:17:14,564 --> 01:17:16,287
Are you actively
trying to get us shot?
1676
01:17:16,312 --> 01:17:17,966
No, you're not
those kind of guys.
1677
01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:20,802
No, we are not those type of guys.
No.
1678
01:17:20,803 --> 01:17:22,104
Your cousin's a security guard.
1679
01:17:22,105 --> 01:17:23,904
Yeah, but at the FBI.
1680
01:17:25,007 --> 01:17:26,373
How is it?
1681
01:17:27,909 --> 01:17:29,111
It's a little warm.
1682
01:17:29,112 --> 01:17:30,412
Can I get some ice?
1683
01:17:30,413 --> 01:17:31,779
Sure.
1684
01:17:32,681 --> 01:17:34,448
What the fuck?
1685
01:17:35,217 --> 01:17:37,618
- You didn't even make it in.
- We're done here.
1686
01:17:39,087 --> 01:17:40,454
Make sure you stay
out of trouble.
1687
01:17:41,690 --> 01:17:43,158
So, that's it?
1688
01:17:43,159 --> 01:17:45,060
You're just gonna...
1689
01:17:45,061 --> 01:17:46,427
Forget about it?
1690
01:17:49,532 --> 01:17:50,966
There is one thing.
1691
01:17:50,967 --> 01:17:54,736
You guys got ahold of a
suitcase that belonged to me.
1692
01:17:54,737 --> 01:17:56,103
That suitcase.
1693
01:17:57,105 --> 01:17:59,307
Which was filled with drugs.
1694
01:17:59,308 --> 01:18:01,009
Now, not so much.
1695
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:04,246
There's still a lot of drugs in
there, though. You owe me money.
1696
01:18:04,247 --> 01:18:05,814
Secondly,
1697
01:18:05,815 --> 01:18:07,181
you've seen my face.
1698
01:18:07,816 --> 01:18:09,084
I've admitted
1699
01:18:09,085 --> 01:18:11,286
that those drugs belong to me.
1700
01:18:11,287 --> 01:18:13,822
Now, there are only
two types of people
1701
01:18:13,823 --> 01:18:15,756
that can see this kind of stuff.
1702
01:18:17,193 --> 01:18:19,261
People that work for me and,
1703
01:18:19,262 --> 01:18:20,861
b...
1704
01:18:27,302 --> 01:18:29,604
You just cut them up and
carry them around in a bag?
1705
01:18:29,605 --> 01:18:32,974
Yeah, I thought step two of
murder was get rid of the body!
1706
01:18:32,975 --> 01:18:35,711
I'm senior staff,
i don't do the cutting.
1707
01:18:35,712 --> 01:18:38,146
Plus, I was trying
to make a point.
1708
01:18:38,147 --> 01:18:40,849
Point taken,
you fucking psycho. Relax.
1709
01:18:40,850 --> 01:18:42,384
Okay, now listen.
I've got good news.
1710
01:18:42,385 --> 01:18:47,989
There seems to be an immediate opening
in my organization available.
1711
01:18:47,990 --> 01:18:50,592
If you work for me
and do one job,
1712
01:18:50,593 --> 01:18:51,959
you won't owe me any money.
1713
01:18:52,928 --> 01:18:54,396
Or b...
1714
01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:56,198
You can, you know...
1715
01:18:56,199 --> 01:18:57,564
I have an empty bag.
1716
01:19:00,068 --> 01:19:01,570
Could you just give us
1717
01:19:01,571 --> 01:19:03,638
one minute to discuss this
between ourselves?
1718
01:19:03,639 --> 01:19:04,639
Sure, take your time.
1719
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:09,043
Okay, could everybody turn
around and cover their ears?
1720
01:19:09,444 --> 01:19:10,811
No, that's not gonna happen.
1721
01:19:12,714 --> 01:19:15,150
- Okay, we'll just whisper.
- Okay.
1722
01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:17,686
I don't think this is the kind of
guy we want to be indebted too.
1723
01:19:17,687 --> 01:19:19,621
Yeah, but I don't think we really
have a choice. Look at him.
1724
01:19:19,622 --> 01:19:21,723
All white.
What is it easter right now?
1725
01:19:21,724 --> 01:19:22,924
He's fucking crazy.
1726
01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:24,760
- Haven't you seen the godfather?
-Yeah.
1727
01:19:24,761 --> 01:19:27,763
There may be a day, where I come
in and ask you for a favor.
1728
01:19:27,764 --> 01:19:30,398
My god, Harry, that impression
was fucking spot on.
1729
01:19:30,399 --> 01:19:31,867
I've been sitting on that one
for a while.
1730
01:19:31,868 --> 01:19:33,902
- I thought it was appropriate.
- It was totally appropriate.
1731
01:19:33,903 --> 01:19:35,904
You've been crushing this whole
vacation with these impressions.
1732
01:19:35,905 --> 01:19:37,038
I didn't know you had it in you.
1733
01:19:37,039 --> 01:19:38,840
Thanks man. -I still
fucking hate you though.
1734
01:19:38,841 --> 01:19:39,915
I still fucking hate you too.
1735
01:19:39,940 --> 01:19:42,878
There's no way this guy really trusts us,
so he's not gonna give us a big job.
1736
01:19:42,879 --> 01:19:45,714
I bet it's some, like, victimless
mundane crime. I'm positive.
1737
01:19:45,715 --> 01:19:47,549
Okay, we talked about it.
We're gonna do it.
1738
01:19:47,550 --> 01:19:48,950
- What... what, no!
- Excellent.
1739
01:19:48,951 --> 01:19:50,384
Great.
1740
01:19:50,552 --> 01:19:51,919
Good choice.
1741
01:19:52,187 --> 01:19:54,189
I need you to,
1742
01:19:54,190 --> 01:19:56,291
take care of somebody for me.
1743
01:19:56,292 --> 01:19:59,060
You know, not my wife, just...
1744
01:19:59,061 --> 01:20:00,427
That one.
1745
01:20:01,663 --> 01:20:02,798
What did she do?
1746
01:20:02,799 --> 01:20:04,599
Nothing really...
1747
01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:07,636
I mean, accidentally, she saw
something she shouldn't have.
1748
01:20:07,637 --> 01:20:09,938
I've been agonizing
over this, really.
1749
01:20:09,939 --> 01:20:13,742
But, I can't very well ask
her to whack herself, right?
1750
01:20:13,743 --> 01:20:17,579
So, listen. Vito and nickie
are gonna kinda tag along,
1751
01:20:17,580 --> 01:20:20,182
right, make sure
nothing goes wrong.
1752
01:20:20,183 --> 01:20:22,049
Then, you're free to go.
1753
01:20:22,751 --> 01:20:24,886
And thanks, fellas.
1754
01:20:24,887 --> 01:20:27,488
You're really taking
a load off my mind.
1755
01:20:30,292 --> 01:20:31,793
Yeah, thanks for the water.
1756
01:20:31,794 --> 01:20:33,760
Jk, it fucking sucks.
1757
01:20:35,597 --> 01:20:37,833
Honestly, that could
have gone way worse.
1758
01:20:37,834 --> 01:20:39,201
What are you talking about?
1759
01:20:39,202 --> 01:20:41,570
Dude, we just had a meeting
with Vincent gambazzo
1760
01:20:41,571 --> 01:20:43,872
in an abandoned warehouse
and he let us go.
1761
01:20:43,873 --> 01:20:46,308
Yeah, to kill Colette. -We're
not gonna have to kill Colette.
1762
01:20:46,309 --> 01:20:49,209
We're just gotta get in a
couple of good punches!
1763
01:20:51,179 --> 01:20:52,980
Fuck!
1764
01:20:54,282 --> 01:20:56,416
We're gonna
have to kill Colette.
1765
01:21:08,697 --> 01:21:10,430
Hey, hun.
1766
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,435
Just finished my sudoku game.
1767
01:21:13,436 --> 01:21:17,037
And I think I just figured out
the secret to cold fusion.
1768
01:21:17,772 --> 01:21:19,407
Yeah?
1769
01:21:19,408 --> 01:21:22,077
I know, the patent alone
could be worth billions.
1770
01:21:22,078 --> 01:21:24,411
Anyway, I was thinking maybe
we could watch the sunset,
1771
01:21:26,081 --> 01:21:29,116
and then, practice the last
half of the kama-sutra.
1772
01:21:29,751 --> 01:21:31,585
That sounds great.
1773
01:21:45,800 --> 01:21:47,668
All right, I was wrong, man.
1774
01:21:47,936 --> 01:21:49,738
This is bad.
1775
01:21:49,739 --> 01:21:51,772
This is real fucking bad.
1776
01:21:55,343 --> 01:21:57,097
How are we supposed to
go through with this?
1777
01:21:57,122 --> 01:21:58,813
Yeah, man. How many
people have you killed?
1778
01:21:58,814 --> 01:22:02,216
None. But my gun has killed a bunch.
Allegedly.
1779
01:22:03,019 --> 01:22:04,875
How are we even
supposed to find her?
1780
01:22:04,900 --> 01:22:06,510
Don't worry, she'll turn up.
1781
01:22:07,355 --> 01:22:08,989
Hey, guys.
1782
01:22:09,057 --> 01:22:10,258
Kenny!
1783
01:22:10,259 --> 01:22:11,826
Kenny!
1784
01:22:11,827 --> 01:22:13,862
Kenny! Kenny's here.
1785
01:22:13,863 --> 01:22:15,530
- Hi, hi. Hi.
- Kenny!
1786
01:22:15,531 --> 01:22:16,598
Okay.
1787
01:22:16,599 --> 01:22:18,667
Anyway, I'm having
a party at the house.
1788
01:22:18,668 --> 01:22:22,570
You know how those are, ragers, wouldn't
want the belles of the ball to miss it.
1789
01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:25,399
Who are your friends? Look at these
guys, look at them. Matching set.
1790
01:22:25,424 --> 01:22:28,277
Big and tall.
Strong, silent type. Okay.
1791
01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,378
- All right, I get it. You're digging in.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
1792
01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:32,614
Playing hard to get,
mount Olympus?
1793
01:22:32,615 --> 01:22:34,282
Can't wait to climb you.
1794
01:22:34,283 --> 01:22:35,983
Both!
1795
01:22:36,986 --> 01:22:38,520
Gotta hose you off.
1796
01:22:38,521 --> 01:22:40,622
Let's save that for when the
sun goes down, at least.
1797
01:22:40,623 --> 01:22:41,728
Come one.
- I have a big appetite.
1798
01:22:41,753 --> 01:22:43,614
I know, I'm stuffed though,
we got to get out of here.
1799
01:22:45,994 --> 01:22:47,427
All right.
1800
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:49,531
I'll kill her. I'm gonna do it.
1801
01:22:49,532 --> 01:22:50,632
What are you talking about?
1802
01:22:50,633 --> 01:22:53,535
I need a beer if I'm gonna murder someone.
Is that all right?
1803
01:22:53,536 --> 01:22:57,017
Okay. -What do you want? What type
of beer do you guys like? Just water.
1804
01:22:57,042 --> 01:23:00,331
Just water? I thought you guys
were murderers, don't be pussies.
1805
01:23:02,077 --> 01:23:04,012
Here you go.
Water for the gentlemen.
1806
01:23:04,013 --> 01:23:06,513
Important to stay hydrated.
1807
01:23:10,752 --> 01:23:12,220
We can't kill her.
1808
01:23:12,221 --> 01:23:15,023
What are we supposed to do? Just
wait and see if she shows up?
1809
01:23:15,024 --> 01:23:16,157
If she shows up.
1810
01:23:16,158 --> 01:23:17,392
I don't know, Harry.
I just don't fucking know
1811
01:23:17,393 --> 01:23:19,192
what I'm doing.
Just going with it right now.
1812
01:23:19,427 --> 01:23:20,794
Hi.
1813
01:23:20,862 --> 01:23:22,330
Shit.
1814
01:23:22,331 --> 01:23:24,966
Um, I was just going to go for a
dive, you know, clear my head.
1815
01:23:24,967 --> 01:23:26,333
Look for the kraken.
1816
01:23:27,702 --> 01:23:30,404
Sorry. Change of plans.
1817
01:23:43,719 --> 01:23:45,519
You should zip up your suit.
1818
01:24:01,002 --> 01:24:04,439
Wow, you know, i really like what
you guys have done with the place.
1819
01:24:04,440 --> 01:24:05,840
Do you guys summer here?
1820
01:24:05,841 --> 01:24:08,843
No, this is where we keep
the oars, propellers...
1821
01:24:08,844 --> 01:24:10,711
Dead bodies.
1822
01:24:11,479 --> 01:24:12,913
Go ahead.
1823
01:24:20,455 --> 01:24:21,689
No, no, no.
1824
01:24:21,690 --> 01:24:23,223
Sorry.
1825
01:24:28,563 --> 01:24:31,099
What if I don't do it?
1826
01:24:31,100 --> 01:24:33,001
Then I shoot your friend.
1827
01:24:33,002 --> 01:24:34,769
What if I'm okay with that?
1828
01:24:34,770 --> 01:24:36,337
Listen, either you do it,
1829
01:24:36,338 --> 01:24:39,639
or we shoot you both and use
your hand to shoot her.
1830
01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:46,981
Harry, wait, there's time.
There's still time.
1831
01:24:46,982 --> 01:24:49,584
Hey guys, let me tell you this
quick story about a young boy
1832
01:24:49,585 --> 01:24:51,386
and his unbridled love
of guns n' roses.
1833
01:24:51,387 --> 01:24:52,554
Would you like to hear that...
1834
01:24:52,555 --> 01:24:54,089
- Shut the fuck up!
- You shut the fuck up!
1835
01:24:54,090 --> 01:24:56,724
You know there are bullets in that thing.
Shut the fuck up about this...
1836
01:24:56,725 --> 01:24:58,126
Wait! Wait!
1837
01:24:58,127 --> 01:24:59,394
Just hold on a second.
1838
01:24:59,395 --> 01:25:01,261
I gotta say something.
1839
01:25:01,463 --> 01:25:02,931
Bowie.
1840
01:25:02,932 --> 01:25:04,499
I didn't mean
what I said before.
1841
01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:06,568
You don't bring me down.
1842
01:25:06,569 --> 01:25:08,736
Some of the best times I ever
had have been with you, man.
1843
01:25:08,737 --> 01:25:09,838
Yeah?
1844
01:25:09,839 --> 01:25:10,972
You remember that time,
1845
01:25:10,973 --> 01:25:12,841
we waited outside
Fred durst's hotel
1846
01:25:12,842 --> 01:25:14,741
just so he could sign our
red Yankees caps.
1847
01:25:15,210 --> 01:25:16,978
He was
such a fucking dick to us.
1848
01:25:16,979 --> 01:25:18,713
Or the first time
we smoked grass.
1849
01:25:18,714 --> 01:25:19,948
It wasn't really weed.
1850
01:25:19,949 --> 01:25:21,783
It was actual grass
but we still pretended
1851
01:25:21,784 --> 01:25:23,483
that we were high
for three days.
1852
01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:27,254
Look, I don't care
what you do for a living.
1853
01:25:27,922 --> 01:25:29,890
You're my best friend.
1854
01:25:32,760 --> 01:25:34,561
You're not my best friend.
1855
01:25:35,397 --> 01:25:37,464
'Cause you're my brother, man.
1856
01:25:38,299 --> 01:25:40,066
I love you.
1857
01:25:41,936 --> 01:25:43,938
Are you crying?
1858
01:25:43,939 --> 01:25:45,907
If I am, it's
only 'cause of this gun.
1859
01:25:45,908 --> 01:25:47,607
Are you crying?
1860
01:25:50,778 --> 01:25:53,313
That's a beautiful friendship,
right there.
1861
01:25:54,215 --> 01:25:57,051
Okay, no. Look, I've had
enough of whatever this is.
1862
01:25:57,052 --> 01:25:58,885
- Time's up.
- Fuck you!
1863
01:26:01,789 --> 01:26:03,156
Fuck.
1864
01:26:15,603 --> 01:26:18,038
Damn it!
1865
01:26:18,706 --> 01:26:20,675
Okay, you guys are free to go.
1866
01:26:20,676 --> 01:26:22,876
Yeah, it's a good job.
1867
01:26:49,070 --> 01:26:50,537
It's done, boss.
1868
01:26:50,805 --> 01:26:52,172
Good.
1869
01:26:52,540 --> 01:26:54,075
All right.
1870
01:26:54,076 --> 01:26:57,010
Look, get everybody back here.
We're leaving in about...
1871
01:26:57,579 --> 01:26:59,079
Two hours.
1872
01:26:59,914 --> 01:27:02,315
Yeah. Wait a minute. Um,
1873
01:27:03,451 --> 01:27:05,485
bring me back a sandwich.
1874
01:27:06,387 --> 01:27:08,321
I don't care. Surprise me.
1875
01:27:08,690 --> 01:27:10,323
But no onions.
1876
01:27:15,897 --> 01:27:18,633
Where the hell is everybody?
1877
01:27:18,634 --> 01:27:22,502
Hey guys, let's go,
i want to get out of here.
1878
01:27:25,940 --> 01:27:27,474
Hey, daddy.
1879
01:27:27,976 --> 01:27:31,278
You want to arrest me?
1880
01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:34,983
Good.
1881
01:27:34,984 --> 01:27:38,620
You have the right
to remain silent.
1882
01:27:38,621 --> 01:27:42,023
I've been wanting
to do this all week.
1883
01:27:42,024 --> 01:27:46,426
Anything you say can be used
against you in a court of law.
1884
01:27:48,764 --> 01:27:51,064
Careful, honey.
I got a glass chin.
1885
01:27:52,635 --> 01:27:55,003
You have the right
to an attorney.
1886
01:27:55,004 --> 01:27:58,573
Baby, the things
I'm gonna do to you.
1887
01:27:58,574 --> 01:28:01,309
Vincent Anthony gambazzo,
you are under arrest
1888
01:28:01,310 --> 01:28:03,278
for trafficking illegal
narcotics,
1889
01:28:03,279 --> 01:28:05,946
racketeering and
conspiracy to commit murder.
1890
01:28:06,147 --> 01:28:08,214
What? Hey!
1891
01:28:08,449 --> 01:28:10,451
Come here.
1892
01:28:10,452 --> 01:28:12,453
Put your hands behind your head.
1893
01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,921
What the fuck is going on?
1894
01:28:15,423 --> 01:28:16,891
You've got nothing on me.
1895
01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:18,793
What do you do it so tight? -Put
your hands behind your back.
1896
01:28:18,794 --> 01:28:20,961
Does the name Colette weller
mean anything to you?
1897
01:28:21,095 --> 01:28:22,163
Um, no.
1898
01:28:22,164 --> 01:28:23,665
How about Harry fluder?
1899
01:28:23,666 --> 01:28:25,600
- Bowie Pemberton?
- Doesn't ring a bell.
1900
01:28:25,601 --> 01:28:26,668
Really?
1901
01:28:26,669 --> 01:28:29,102
'Cause that's
not what they have to say.
1902
01:28:31,639 --> 01:28:32,874
Never heard of us.
1903
01:28:32,875 --> 01:28:34,008
Really?
1904
01:28:34,009 --> 01:28:35,610
Beauregard, remember?
1905
01:28:35,611 --> 01:28:37,777
Lemon water, you thought
we were gay. Come on dude.
1906
01:28:38,246 --> 01:28:39,480
These guys?
1907
01:28:39,481 --> 01:28:40,948
No, I'm sorry, my bad.
1908
01:28:40,949 --> 01:28:42,183
I'm bad with names.
1909
01:28:42,184 --> 01:28:45,720
Yeah, I know these guys. They've
been guests on my boat.
1910
01:28:45,721 --> 01:28:47,822
So, you're telling me
that I'm under arrest
1911
01:28:47,823 --> 01:28:50,490
for killing three people
that aren't dead?
1912
01:28:50,692 --> 01:28:51,759
Yes, I am.
1913
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:53,194
You should be indicted
1914
01:28:53,195 --> 01:28:56,264
for conspiring to be an idiot.
1915
01:28:56,265 --> 01:28:58,633
I need you to take care
of somebody for me.
1916
01:28:58,634 --> 01:29:00,800
Um, you know,
not my wife, just...
1917
01:29:01,369 --> 01:29:03,303
That one. And thanks, fellas.
1918
01:29:04,172 --> 01:29:06,874
You're really taking
a load off my mind.
1919
01:29:06,875 --> 01:29:08,242
And that's not even half of it.
1920
01:29:08,243 --> 01:29:09,711
And I've got it all here.
1921
01:29:09,712 --> 01:29:12,213
Enough to put your sad,
soft dick in prison.
1922
01:29:12,214 --> 01:29:13,981
Wait. How did you get
that recording?
1923
01:29:13,982 --> 01:29:17,018
Well, talk about blowjobs
anywhere near a guy's dick and
1924
01:29:17,019 --> 01:29:21,289
I could have tattooed a rainbow unicorn
on you and you never would have noticed.
1925
01:29:21,290 --> 01:29:23,524
Just stop me, it's a bad habit.
1926
01:29:23,525 --> 01:29:27,495
It's also the least thoroughly
searched area in a pat down.
1927
01:29:27,496 --> 01:29:29,529
All right, come
on guys. Let's go.
1928
01:29:30,064 --> 01:29:31,366
Hold on to me.
1929
01:29:31,367 --> 01:29:32,767
If I trip, I'll sue you.
1930
01:29:32,768 --> 01:29:35,370
Who gives a shit, these are
so fucking tight.
1931
01:29:35,371 --> 01:29:38,740
You know what? You're all uninvited to
my party in the Hamptons, you hear me?
1932
01:29:38,741 --> 01:29:41,409
We also had
Vincent's phone tapped.
1933
01:29:41,410 --> 01:29:44,178
And we recorded this,
right after you guys left.
1934
01:29:44,179 --> 01:29:45,446
As soon as this two
1935
01:29:45,447 --> 01:29:47,415
fuck-sticks are done
taking care of her,
1936
01:29:47,416 --> 01:29:50,083
I want you to take care of them.
1937
01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:51,885
No loose ends.
1938
01:29:52,420 --> 01:29:53,788
Whoa!
1939
01:29:53,789 --> 01:29:55,022
That's pretty cool.
1940
01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:56,557
They wanted to kill you.
1941
01:29:56,558 --> 01:29:59,092
Yeah, but you knew about
it so, it's all right.
1942
01:30:00,362 --> 01:30:01,929
The bug we had on you
only transmitted locally
1943
01:30:01,930 --> 01:30:03,731
so we had no idea
where they took you.
1944
01:30:03,732 --> 01:30:06,501
Our guys couldn't pick you up until
after you called us from the mansion,
1945
01:30:06,502 --> 01:30:07,934
so, how did you get
out of there?
1946
01:30:08,136 --> 01:30:09,670
So,
1947
01:30:09,671 --> 01:30:11,639
you weren't really
that careful about it.
1948
01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:13,207
Could have got killed.
1949
01:30:13,208 --> 01:30:14,542
Okay, here is what happened.
1950
01:30:14,543 --> 01:30:15,810
All right,
1951
01:30:15,811 --> 01:30:19,947
I can never remember, do we do
this like a burrito or a crepe?
1952
01:30:19,948 --> 01:30:21,516
What's the difference?
1953
01:30:21,517 --> 01:30:23,251
Well, burrito's folded
into a pocket
1954
01:30:23,252 --> 01:30:25,019
but stuff spills out the bottom.
1955
01:30:25,020 --> 01:30:26,788
Whereas, a crepe,
you just fold over
1956
01:30:26,789 --> 01:30:28,890
and it spills out the top.
1957
01:30:28,891 --> 01:30:31,092
Why don't we just roll her
up like a taquito, then?
1958
01:30:31,093 --> 01:30:33,528
No, see, you're thinking
of a blintz, I think.
1959
01:30:34,963 --> 01:30:36,230
Maybe, maybe we'll do...
1960
01:30:36,231 --> 01:30:38,498
Maybe we'll do it like a hot...
1961
01:30:38,599 --> 01:30:39,966
Hot pocket.
1962
01:30:40,101 --> 01:30:41,202
Kick.
1963
01:30:41,203 --> 01:30:42,603
Hum...
1964
01:30:42,604 --> 01:30:44,871
How are you doing that
with your eyes?
1965
01:30:46,474 --> 01:30:49,242
How are you doing
that with your arm?
1966
01:30:50,311 --> 01:30:51,845
I'm not sure.
1967
01:30:55,249 --> 01:30:56,784
Is that a ninja
1968
01:30:56,785 --> 01:30:58,251
or a samurai?
1969
01:31:00,055 --> 01:31:02,690
Damn it! I would have had
a really cool one liner
1970
01:31:02,691 --> 01:31:04,058
about how badass
that just looked
1971
01:31:04,059 --> 01:31:05,693
if my brain wasn't so fucking
muddled with terror,
1972
01:31:05,694 --> 01:31:08,830
on account you just killed
Colette like a son of a bitch.
1973
01:31:08,831 --> 01:31:11,265
Aw! Did anyone oar-der
an ass whopping?
1974
01:31:11,266 --> 01:31:13,000
That would have
been perfect, damn it!
1975
01:31:13,001 --> 01:31:15,468
Sorry, it's not important to what we're
talking about right now, though. Bowie!
1976
01:31:15,471 --> 01:31:18,673
Why the fuck did you do that?
I was trying to buy us time.
1977
01:31:18,674 --> 01:31:20,588
I drugged those two assholes,
we just needed two more minutes.
1978
01:31:20,613 --> 01:31:21,688
- Bowie!
- No, don't bowie me, man.
1979
01:31:21,713 --> 01:31:23,110
We just made up and now
I'm going to have to
1980
01:31:23,111 --> 01:31:27,148
fucking testify against you in court.
They're going to say, "who was it?"
1981
01:31:27,149 --> 01:31:29,183
And I'm not a liar. So, I'm
gonna have to point at you
1982
01:31:29,184 --> 01:31:30,852
and I'm gonna have to say,
"it was fucking Harry."
1983
01:31:30,853 --> 01:31:32,153
Bowie!
1984
01:31:32,154 --> 01:31:33,620
Holy shit, Colette!
1985
01:31:33,821 --> 01:31:35,289
You okay?
1986
01:31:35,290 --> 01:31:36,608
Why are you not dead?
1987
01:31:36,633 --> 01:31:40,561
I mean, I'm really glad you're not
dead, but why the fuck are you not dead?
1988
01:31:40,562 --> 01:31:43,831
Fuck squid. They are like
the assholes of the ocean.
1989
01:31:43,832 --> 01:31:47,168
That's why all the deep-sea divers
had to wear those special wet suits
1990
01:31:47,169 --> 01:31:49,402
it had so much chainmail
on it, it was basically...
1991
01:31:50,338 --> 01:31:51,606
Bullet-proof.
1992
01:31:51,607 --> 01:31:52,707
You knew it!
1993
01:31:52,708 --> 01:31:54,474
So, you're
not just like a murderer.
1994
01:31:57,212 --> 01:31:58,645
You should zip up your suit.
1995
01:31:59,080 --> 01:32:00,480
Trust me.
1996
01:32:00,848 --> 01:32:02,282
Okay.
1997
01:32:11,025 --> 01:32:12,727
This is big, Harry.
1998
01:32:12,728 --> 01:32:14,527
I am fucking jacked up
right now.
1999
01:32:14,562 --> 01:32:15,796
You okay?
2000
01:32:15,797 --> 01:32:17,163
Yeah, yeah.
2001
01:32:17,265 --> 01:32:18,699
Good shot.
2002
01:32:18,700 --> 01:32:20,466
I was aiming for your leg.
2003
01:32:20,535 --> 01:32:21,736
Never mind.
This is great.
2004
01:32:21,737 --> 01:32:25,973
Isn't this great? Look around. Look
at what we did. This is so great.
2005
01:32:25,974 --> 01:32:27,375
Where did you get the drugs?
2006
01:32:27,376 --> 01:32:28,741
Dude.
2007
01:32:29,477 --> 01:32:30,844
It was Kenny.
2008
01:32:31,012 --> 01:32:32,179
Guys!
2009
01:32:32,180 --> 01:32:33,281
Kenny!
2010
01:32:33,282 --> 01:32:34,415
Kenny!
2011
01:32:34,416 --> 01:32:35,750
Kenny!
2012
01:32:35,751 --> 01:32:36,665
Good to see Kenny!
2013
01:32:36,690 --> 01:32:39,153
Kenny, we're in trouble,
do you have mints?
2014
01:32:39,154 --> 01:32:41,154
- Back pocket.
- Kenny!
2015
01:32:41,722 --> 01:32:44,190
- Hi, hi. Hi.
- Kenny!
2016
01:32:47,562 --> 01:32:49,630
Here. Water for the gentlemen.
2017
01:32:49,631 --> 01:32:51,231
Important to stay hydrated.
2018
01:32:51,766 --> 01:32:53,768
Gentle, gentle! God.
2019
01:32:53,769 --> 01:32:55,970
I can't believe you
fucking did it, man.
2020
01:32:55,971 --> 01:32:58,571
Yeah, yeah, can we just
get out of here? Wait.
2021
01:33:01,375 --> 01:33:03,009
I have an idea.
2022
01:33:05,479 --> 01:33:07,281
Is this really necessary?
2023
01:33:07,282 --> 01:33:09,983
Told you I wouldn't be
caught dead in those clothes.
2024
01:33:12,186 --> 01:33:13,653
Watch you head, Colette.
2025
01:33:16,924 --> 01:33:18,291
Son of a...
2026
01:33:18,315 --> 01:33:31,715
WwW.ZooCine.CoM
Watch Movies and Series!
2027
01:33:32,873 --> 01:33:34,742
It's done, boss.
2028
01:33:34,743 --> 01:33:36,677
Scientifically speaking,
what we did is called
2029
01:33:36,678 --> 01:33:38,312
crocodile dundee ii -ing.
2030
01:33:38,313 --> 01:33:40,348
This is where he switches
clothes with the bad guy
2031
01:33:40,349 --> 01:33:43,283
so that the other bad guys shoot
their boss instead of him.
2032
01:33:43,818 --> 01:33:45,119
Wow!
2033
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:46,320
I've got to say, I'm...
2034
01:33:46,321 --> 01:33:47,521
I'm impressed.
2035
01:33:47,522 --> 01:33:48,656
What do you say, like,
2036
01:33:48,657 --> 01:33:50,356
maybe when we get
back to the mainland
2037
01:33:50,858 --> 01:33:52,358
go on like, a date?
2038
01:33:53,828 --> 01:33:55,662
You seem like a pretty nice guy.
2039
01:33:55,963 --> 01:33:57,498
I know, thanks.
2040
01:33:57,499 --> 01:33:58,799
So, how should I put this?
2041
01:34:00,469 --> 01:34:02,503
- You see that, right there?
- Yeah.
2042
01:34:02,504 --> 01:34:06,073
I'd rather shove that up my
ass and pull it out my vagina
2043
01:34:06,074 --> 01:34:07,607
than do anything with you.
2044
01:34:10,612 --> 01:34:12,613
What a grosso!
2045
01:34:12,614 --> 01:34:13,981
What a fuckin' nut!
2046
01:34:13,982 --> 01:34:15,249
Did you hear that?
2047
01:34:15,250 --> 01:34:17,351
Yeah, we heard all that.
2048
01:34:17,352 --> 01:34:19,153
My god, man.
2049
01:34:19,154 --> 01:34:21,956
I think I'm in love, i bet
she's into some weird shit.
2050
01:34:21,957 --> 01:34:23,257
Wait! Hold on! I love you!
2051
01:34:23,258 --> 01:34:24,991
Match made in heaven.
2052
01:34:26,961 --> 01:34:29,630
Well, um,
it was really great meeting you.
2053
01:34:29,631 --> 01:34:31,298
Thanks for shooting me.
You're welcome.
2054
01:34:31,299 --> 01:34:36,137
Now, if you ask me if I've ever killed
someone, i can say that I tried.
2055
01:34:36,138 --> 01:34:39,006
Yeah, how about next time,
we overthrow a dictator.
2056
01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:41,407
Or, yeah, we could stop
a bank robbery.
2057
01:34:41,575 --> 01:34:43,142
Yeah.
2058
01:34:43,878 --> 01:34:45,611
Or just play it by ear.
2059
01:34:46,914 --> 01:34:49,917
That would really mess
with my plans.
2060
01:34:49,918 --> 01:34:51,619
Hey! Where are
you going? Freeze!
2061
01:34:51,620 --> 01:34:52,986
I'll get you, you bitch.
2062
01:35:09,738 --> 01:35:11,138
No!
2063
01:35:11,139 --> 01:35:12,939
Was that the first time
you guys were gonna...
2064
01:35:13,174 --> 01:35:14,675
I ruined it.
2065
01:35:14,676 --> 01:35:15,876
Shit!
2066
01:35:15,877 --> 01:35:18,044
Okay, well, keep
going and all that.
2067
01:35:18,279 --> 01:35:20,046
You guys are cute!
2068
01:35:20,214 --> 01:35:21,714
Hi.
2069
01:35:32,094 --> 01:35:35,595
- Help, help.
- All right, I got you.
2070
01:35:36,897 --> 01:35:39,266
Dude, that trip was
exactly what I needed.
2071
01:35:39,267 --> 01:35:40,801
You know what?
2072
01:35:40,802 --> 01:35:42,169
Me too.
2073
01:35:42,170 --> 01:35:44,004
- For real?
- Yeah, man, I feel great.
2074
01:35:44,005 --> 01:35:46,407
I like this new Harry, man.
What are going to do now?
2075
01:35:46,408 --> 01:35:49,410
I got this text on the plane.
2076
01:35:49,411 --> 01:35:52,545
I guess I should just
probably go back in to work.
2077
01:35:53,348 --> 01:35:54,981
Dude, I haven't
got shit, this week.
2078
01:35:55,116 --> 01:35:56,450
I'm coming.
2079
01:35:56,451 --> 01:35:58,586
I still have no idea
what you do for work.
2080
01:35:58,587 --> 01:36:01,054
I work hard, man, what else
do you need to know?
156079
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