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5
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,799
Evening.
6
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:18,030
Hello. Hello.
7
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,656
- Hello.
- Hello.
8
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,327
- Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
9
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,621
- Hello.
- Hello...
10
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,958
Hello. Hello.
11
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,672
Give it to me!
12
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,510
- Eight bucks?
- Business is slow.
13
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,473
Get a new business
or move out of the neighborhood!
14
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:07,162
- Come on.
- Hey, take that! Pig!
15
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,254
Get your hands off me!
16
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,384
So am I ever gonna get an answer
out of you guys?
17
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,553
- Well, sir...
- Well.
18
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,932
- Congratulations, captain.
- What is it now, chief?
19
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,017
Oh. It's official.
20
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,354
This is now the worst precinct
in the entire city.
21
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:36,858
Would you look at this?
Burglary, up 36 percent.
22
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,778
Armed robbery, up 20 percent.
23
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,615
Vandalism, up 44 percent.
24
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,910
Sir, I think if you'll check,
burglary is up 48 percent.
25
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,412
There. You hear that?
26
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,872
- Who are you?
- Mauser, sir. M as in "man"...
27
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,917
- A-U-S as in "Sam"...
- Shut up and sit down, Mauser.
28
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:57,546
- He didn't ask for your biography.
- E-R, sir.
29
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,756
Look, Hurst, what do you expect?
30
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:04,720
You cut my budget, you cut my staff.
I got nothing to work with.
31
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:08,390
Look around! These guys are old.
They're tired.
32
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,059
They just can't cut it anymore.
33
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:14,062
Maybe they need
a new captain, Lassard.
34
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:17,733
The mayor wants results.
You remember the mayor?
35
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,902
She wants something done about this.
What do you propose?
36
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,614
Take your nose out of my business,
go to the mayor's office...
37
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,783
and put it where it usually is.
38
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:33,790
You have exactly 30 days to turn
this precinct around, or you are out.
39
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,252
Do you understand me?
Thirty days and that's it!
40
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,921
I need at least a dozen new men.
41
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,759
- You can have six.
- Well, thank you!
42
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,094
You better get started.
43
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,598
Excuse me, captain.
44
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,642
Get me the police academy.
I wanna speak to my brother.
45
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,944
Sir. Chief.
46
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:07,866
Sir, if I may be so bold,
I would like to apologize...
47
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,162
for Captain Lassard's remark about
your nose being up the mayor's...
48
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:17,834
Chief, I've got some new ideas
on how to run this precinct.
49
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:21,963
- Oh, I'll bet you do, Mauser.
- Long-range plans, sir...
50
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,800
planning steps, deployment.
51
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:30,472
See, sir, it's really a question
of leadership that works.
52
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,892
Lassard's got 30 days.
53
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:38,355
If he should blow it, the job is yours.
54
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,984
I fully understand, sir.
55
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:48,824
Mauser, you are the most incredible
ass-kisser I have ever seen.
56
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,201
Thank you very much, sir.
I do my best.
57
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,338
She must be out to lunch.
Police academy.
58
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,715
Hello. Eric Lassard, please.
59
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:09,219
This is Commandant Eric Lassard
speaking.
60
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,847
- Eric, this is Pete.
- Pete?
61
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,682
- Your brother.
- Pete!
62
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:18,395
How very, very nice of you to call.
How's my baby brother?
63
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,565
Just fine, Eric.
Actually, not too good.
64
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,526
Oh, what's up?
65
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,572
Eric, I've got a problem here.
66
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,741
Yeah, we all have our little problems.
67
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:34,035
Yeah, but this one is serious.
68
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,705
I hope you haven't got a girl
into trouble.
69
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:40,917
No. I need to get my hands
on some healthy young men.
70
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,920
I guess there are places
you could go...
71
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:48,049
- Certain bars and so on.
- Eric, what are you talking about?
72
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:50,051
Does Margaret know about this?
73
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,930
Eric, I'm in trouble here,
and I need some new recruits.
74
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:58,101
Oh, well, that's easy.
75
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:02,939
We have some very, very fine
young graduates here at the academy.
76
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:06,401
Come on. Come on.
Double time. Double time.
77
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,112
Pick it up. Move it. Move it.
78
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,241
Come on! Move it!
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
79
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:21,082
Now, Brian, I want you
to go straight to class today.
80
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:24,252
- Why should I?
- Because I said so.
81
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,297
- Big deal.
- You mind your manners, mister.
82
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:33,303
- I don't have to, bird face.
- That does it. You're in trouble.
83
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:36,640
Oh, I'm just really scared.
84
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,773
- Can I help you, ma'am?
- Yes, officer.
85
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,485
My son Brian is always late for school.
Could you speak to him?
86
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:53,114
- Perhaps give him a little scare?
- Certainly, ma'am.
87
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,246
Hi, Brian.
88
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:02,332
It's almost 0800 hours.
Time to deploy for school.
89
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,043
I'll go when I'm ready.
90
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,963
You're ready now, mister.
91
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,470
Now move it! Move it! Move it!
92
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,683
- Thank you, officer.
- No problem, ma'am.
93
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:27,148
- It's really no better than television.
- I wouldn't know.
94
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,025
I never watch television.
95
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,195
Personally, I don't even own a television.
96
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,389
Hungry, Diane?
97
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,533
For God's sakes, Michael,
just take me home.
98
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,996
Somebody's got to do it
99
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,205
It's dirty work
100
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,376
It's dirty work
101
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,213
Somebody got
Somebody got to do it
102
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,549
Somebody's got to do it
103
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,262
Hi. How are you?
104
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,891
I must be crazy
To do the things I do
105
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,895
Workin' all this overtime
Takin' care of you
106
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:51,232
One tough assignment
Keepin' you in line
107
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:55,403
Every time I turn around
You're playin' with my mind
108
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,073
All the things you put me through
109
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:03,536
It's a full-time job loving you
Oh
110
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:07,457
It's dirty work
Somebody's got to do it
111
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,958
It's dirty work
112
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:13,922
You know somebody
Somebody's got to do it
113
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,800
- Hey, Tim.
- Mahoney, what's happening?
114
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,510
- How you doing?
- All right!
115
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,970
- Listen, Tim, I got a problem.
- What's that?
116
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,807
- There's some guy ripping up my beach.
- No!
117
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,266
- Yeah.
- Who was it?
118
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:26,601
You!
119
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,646
- Listen, Tim. Do me a favor.
- You got it!
120
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,815
- Get off the beach.
- You don't got it!
121
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:35,485
- Come on, Tim, be a good boy.
- No way! Out, guys!
122
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:37,987
So long, fuzz ball!
123
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,825
It's dirty work
But somebody's got to do it
124
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,201
It's dirty work
125
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,662
You know that
Somebody's got to care
126
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:50,166
It's dirty work It ain't easy
127
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,459
It's dirty work
128
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:56,756
You know somebody
Somebody's got to do it
129
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,727
Got to do it
130
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,110
Never fool with a fuzz ball.
131
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:27,495
It's a real pleasure to welcome you men,
and you, to the 16th Precinct.
132
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:32,959
My brother tells me you're among
the finest ever to graduate the academy.
133
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:39,674
The 16th serves and protects
what was once a great neighborhood.
134
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:43,178
Unfortunately, a vicious gang
has taken over...
135
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,764
and they're trying
to control the streets.
136
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,725
We don't know who they are
or where they come from.
137
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,061
We do know that they are scum.
138
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,899
And it is our job to find them
and bust them.
139
00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,904
You've all received training in the latest
techniques in urban law enforcement.
140
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,616
Any of you have any special skills
that I should know about?
141
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,745
I just learned to perform an emergency
tracheotomy with a steak knife, sir.
142
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:18,588
So these academy rats
are gonna save the precinct, right?
143
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,717
Hey, personally, lieutenant,
I hope they fall flat on their asses.
144
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,763
- That could be arranged, you know.
- What do you mean?
145
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:30,767
If they fail, Lassard's out.
That makes me the captain.
146
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,604
If I'm captain, I'll need
a new watch commander.
147
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,064
So?
148
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:41,027
- So we make sure they fail.
- Who?
149
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,114
- The new recruits.
- Why?
150
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,408
If they fail, Lassard is out. I'm in.
151
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,036
I'm gonna need somebody
to be the new watch commander.
152
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,790
- Oh.
- And you know who that's gonna be.
153
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,125
- Who?
- You, dickhead. You.
154
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,418
Oh!
155
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,754
Oh, good idea.
156
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:04,968
- Not playing with a full deck, are you?
- Oh, I don't play cards.
157
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:10,765
I want this to be the best damn
Crime Suppression Unit in the city.
158
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:15,144
I want us to stand proud and walk tall.
159
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,480
More than anything...
160
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:21,276
I want this to be, well...
161
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,361
one big family...
162
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:27,782
with a bunch of brothers
and little sister...
163
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,328
and one big mother.
164
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:36,457
Wake up!
I am your watch commander.
165
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,837
When you foul up,
and you will foul up...
166
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,299
I'm gonna be there
to write up a report.
167
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:48,303
Three bad reports,
and you're suspended.
168
00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:51,973
- What is your name?
- Hooks, sir.
169
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,349
- Say that again.
- Hooks.
170
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:58,813
Hooks. Well, Officer Hooks,
can I please see your service revolver?
171
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,357
Don't point that gun at me.
172
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,697
- There's no round in the chamber.
- I was afraid it might go off.
173
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,992
Oh, heavens to be! It might go off!
That's one for Hooks.
174
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:16,164
You're on report.
See how it works? It's real simple.
175
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,876
This squad deploys
each day at 1000 hours.
176
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,715
Precisely 1000 hours.
177
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:30,219
Since you boys and girls
are only rookies...
178
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:33,556
you will be assigned
a veteran officer...
179
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,184
who will write up a report.
180
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:41,773
Okay, read the assignments.
181
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:44,859
- Fackler!
- Yes, sir.
182
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,279
Officer Fackler. The gentleman
on your right is Officer Dooley.
183
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,657
A fine man.
He's gonna teach you a lot.
184
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,868
- Tackleberry?
- Yes, sir, sir!
185
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,873
Officer Tackleberry.
You're trained for motorcycle duty?
186
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,209
Yes, sir!
187
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:05,171
You've got it.
Meet Officer Kirkland at the motor pool.
188
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:11,052
- Thank you, sir!
- Well, get going. Yeah! Go, go, go, go.
189
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,763
- Hightower.
- Yo!
190
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,891
- Yo?
- Yo, sir.
191
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:20,770
Yo, sir! Must be from the South.
It's, "Yes, sir."
192
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,940
You got foot patrol.
Okay, that's it.
193
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:27,443
- Thank you for your patience.
- What about me? Don't I get a car?
194
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,946
"What about me, sir?
Don't I get a car?"
195
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,199
You don't get a car.
You get yourself a nice little desk...
196
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:38,705
with a nice little chair, in a nice
little office, for your nice little voice.
197
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:46,087
- Asshole.
- That's two.
198
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,802
Chest, 48.
199
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:57,265
Waist, 44.
200
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,310
- Outseam, 39.
- Hey, can I have that giraffe?
201
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,854
- No.
- Oh.
202
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,860
I got an idea.
203
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,113
- How's about for a Snickers bar?
- You got it.
204
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,991
Oh. Thanks.
205
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,331
Overall, 48.
206
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,298
Next.
207
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,471
Please take off your gun belt.
208
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:44,353
Chest, 37.
209
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:49,192
Waist, 32. Okay, turn around.
210
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:56,824
Please be gentle.
211
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:05,208
Jones, got you figured for an asshole.
212
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,294
I don't take shit from you people.
I'm not gonna start.
213
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:12,048
Don't think, don't talk, don't breathe
unless I tell you. Understand?
214
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,550
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
215
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,053
We're gonna get along just fine.
216
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,104
- Did you hear that?
- No, sir.
217
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,694
Doggone it! We got ourselves a flat tire.
Get out and check your side.
218
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,200
Mine's okay. How's yours?
219
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,369
Fine, sir.
220
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,880
There it goes again.
221
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:02,265
Officer Eugene Tackleberry
reporting for duty, sir!
222
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,600
Officer Kathleen Kirkland...
223
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,895
and I appreciate
you not calling me sir.
224
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:18,239
All right. Mount up, Tackleberry.
Let's go.
225
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,251
Oh, this neighborhood ain't so bad.
226
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,129
You know the secret
to being a good cop?
227
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,591
You gotta get to know the people.
228
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:41,095
- Yo, man, you got a match?
- Sure. Here. Keep the pack.
229
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,765
- Thank you.
- Good. Very good!
230
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:48,603
That's the idea, son. You gotta
build up trust with the people.
231
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:51,105
Then they'll respect you.
Know what I mean?
232
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,443
Give me two of them glazed doughnuts.
233
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,278
I'll have a chocolate.
234
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:03,826
Excuse me, sir. Officer Carey
Mahoney reporting for duty, sir.
235
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:08,289
Oh, Officer Mahoney.
It's nice of you to drop by.
236
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,000
- I missed you earlier.
- Had to get a new uniform.
237
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:16,297
Oh, good. Good. We can't face
the public naked, can we?
238
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,966
That's right. Where would
we hang our handcuffs?
239
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:23,846
That's cute. I like an officer
with a sense of humor.
240
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,976
I like you too, sir.
241
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,312
I admire a guy who's
not ashamed to floss.
242
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,650
You know, sir, oral hygiene is something
too many big-city cops overlook.
243
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:36,984
Hm.
244
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:41,489
Oh, good. Good.
So you like hygiene?
245
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,950
Then you're gonna like
your new partner:
246
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,577
Officer Vinnie Schtulman.
247
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:08,099
Hello? Hello?
248
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,852
- Hello.
- Who is it?
249
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,688
Carey Mahoney, your new partner.
250
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,856
- Come on in. Come on in.
- Thanks.
251
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:19,402
- Make yourself at home.
- Alrighty. Alrighty.
252
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:25,366
- Don't sit in the broken chair.
- Right. I got it. I saw it. I saw it.
253
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,535
- Would you like breakfast? I got eggs.
- No.
254
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:32,498
I'm fine. I'll get something later.
Tetanus shot, maybe.
255
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,712
- This is an excellent place you got here.
- Thanks. I decorated it myself.
256
00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:41,090
- Hey! Vinnie Schtulman.
- I got peanut butter on my hand.
257
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,884
- I like peanut butter.
- Mahoney. Nice to meet you.
258
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:47,430
Hey, would it be okay
if I eat real quick?
259
00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,390
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Thanks.
260
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:53,436
Next to lunch and dinner, breakfast
is the most important meal of the day.
261
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,564
Oh, jeez. Bunky.
262
00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:02,236
Bunky, how many times I gotta tell you?
The litter box! The litter box!
263
00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:11,078
- You sure you don't want any?
- I'm on a diet.
264
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:15,333
- Want me to lock the door?
- No, neighbors might borrow something.
265
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:19,295
- It's gonna be great having a new partner.
- I was thinking about it...
266
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:20,796
I hope Lou's not jealous.
267
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,809
Hey. Your pastrami's ready.
268
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:36,979
Did you put the mayo on that?
269
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:41,150
You've been quiet. I take it you
don't like your assignment.
270
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:45,279
- That's affirmative.
- Is it because I'm a woman?
271
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:49,450
I decline to answer that question
out of respect for your gender.
272
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:54,622
I'll take care of myself.
You just cover your own ass.
273
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,707
That's a nice piece.
274
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,628
I was referring to your side arm.
275
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,340
- Oh.
- May I?
276
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,843
Sure.
277
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:10,971
It's a Colt Python.
278
00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:17,144
- What kind of load do you use?
- 158-grain semi-wadcutter manstoppers.
279
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,814
Sensible weapon.
280
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,902
I use a factory-accurized
Detonics .45 Scoremaster.
281
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,988
It's got the extended barrel,
short hammer fall...
282
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:31,409
and I load with 230-grain
full patch rounds.
283
00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:33,869
It's primarily for stopping power.
284
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:36,539
On the other hand,
if you want penetration...
285
00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:41,335
the .357 will crack
the engine block of a truck.
286
00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:45,923
I can see where that would be useful.
287
00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:50,010
All right. Touchdown!
All right! Good job!
288
00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:53,722
- Give me another one.
- Look at the little football players.
289
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,268
- Hey! We're playing ball.
- Come on, punk.
290
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,186
- Give it back.
- You want the ball?
291
00:23:59,354 --> 00:24:02,356
- Give me the ball!
- Here. Go get it!
292
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:05,151
Whoo!
293
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,031
- You never seen a football?
- Hey! Hey, copper!
294
00:24:11,199 --> 00:24:13,033
Throw me the ball!
295
00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:18,247
Come on, will you throw it back here?
Come on! Give it to me!
296
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:31,427
- This is not such a bad neighborhood.
- This is a great neighborhood.
297
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:33,053
- Yeah?
- I grew up here.
298
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,388
- No way.
- Yeah.
299
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:35,681
- You?
- Little kid here.
300
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:38,100
No way.
Little Schtulman running around here?
301
00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,311
- You were little?
- That was me.
302
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:43,898
We should get Lou out of the truck.
He needs exercise.
303
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:46,901
- We can get him later.
- Carey, look at this.
304
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:50,613
A Nestlรฉ Crunch bar,
hardly even been touched.
305
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,074
No wonder. Got ants all over it.
306
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:57,328
- You're not gonna eat that, are you?
- You wanna split it?
307
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:58,829
No!
308
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:13,969
No, no, no. What do you
want from me? Blood? Get out!
309
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:17,014
Be cool, old man.
310
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:23,437
Open the safe. Come on. Hurry up.
Open it.
311
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,319
Come on. Open it up.
312
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,159
- It always does that.
- Hurry.
313
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:38,369
Yeah.
314
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:41,038
There. I got it.
315
00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:44,667
Fizzies.
316
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:47,461
They don't make them anymore.
Remember?
317
00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:49,004
Fizzies?
318
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,467
Cops!
319
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,803
Stay down, or you're dead.
320
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,639
- Schtulman, you see a gun?
- I saw a gun.
321
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,641
That's an armed robbery.
322
00:26:02,018 --> 00:26:06,313
- Unit M-15 to base.
- This is base.
323
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:12,319
We've got a 211
at 302 Caroline Street. Please advise.
324
00:26:12,487 --> 00:26:17,866
- M-1, did you read that?
- 10-4. Tell them to move in.
325
00:26:18,034 --> 00:26:21,704
- Shouldn't they wait for backup?
- No, they don't need a backup.
326
00:26:21,871 --> 00:26:25,666
- Do you need a hearing aid?
- Move in, M-15.
327
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:28,002
10-4.
328
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:29,878
Come on. Let's go.
329
00:26:34,884 --> 00:26:37,595
Follow me and stay low.
330
00:27:05,081 --> 00:27:06,415
Are you in here?
331
00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:14,089
Vinnie, if they are in here,
they're not gonna tell us.
332
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:21,263
Now, cover me.
333
00:27:51,961 --> 00:27:53,504
- Fackler!
- Mahoney!
334
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:54,797
Fackler!
335
00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:29,957
Tackleberry! Hold your fire!
336
00:28:31,626 --> 00:28:33,043
Mahoney?
337
00:28:41,177 --> 00:28:43,554
Officer Hightower.
338
00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:50,144
- You met Mr. Sweetchuck, I presume?
- Mr. Sweetchuck, I'm so sorry.
339
00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:52,479
My store! My store!
340
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,525
We all got here at the same time.
341
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:58,318
We didn't know that we were...
342
00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:02,656
Gentlemen...
343
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:05,951
you've really outdone yourselves,
haven't you?
344
00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:09,830
"Said officers did then
discharge their weapons..."
345
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,374
with flagrant disregard
for public safety...
346
00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:17,838
causing to be expended
some 1200 rounds of ammunition.
347
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:24,011
"$76,813."
348
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:28,682
Well, I know that you must be furious.
349
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:35,355
In all my years as a police officer,
I have never seen such gross negligence.
350
00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:42,070
- You men have anything to say?
- Sir, may I speak?
351
00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:51,872
Captain Lassard, your brother taught
us many fine things at the academy.
352
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:56,543
He taught us that a cop can
never care too much or try too hard.
353
00:29:57,545 --> 00:30:01,715
I don't know, sir.
That's exactly what we did.
354
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:07,054
- Perhaps we were a bit overzealous.
- Overzealous?
355
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:12,434
That's 1200 rounds. $76,813.
356
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:18,774
If caring is a crime
and trying is a felony...
357
00:30:19,442 --> 00:30:21,610
I guess we're all gonna plead guilty.
358
00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:28,826
Mauser, Mahoney is right.
359
00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:32,746
If your men tried as hard
as these officers...
360
00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:35,082
we'd have this gang licked in no time.
361
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:39,670
Good work, men. Keep it up.
362
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,964
See you at the gym.
363
00:30:56,813 --> 00:31:02,818
Attention! I need beer up here. Now!
364
00:31:04,445 --> 00:31:07,823
Okay, look for specials now!
Come on! Shop, everybody!
365
00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:11,952
- Shop! Shop!
- Safety first!
366
00:31:33,641 --> 00:31:36,810
Come on! Yeah! Go for it!
367
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:45,360
What are you, a nut?
I'm a vegetarian!
368
00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:50,490
Fruit Loops. They're mine!
369
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:02,878
Guys! Guys! Come on!
Stop, man! Act your age!
370
00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:20,854
Bye, now.
371
00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:28,528
Thank you very much. I found a lot
of really, really nice bargains here.
372
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,699
Excuse me, sir,
you forgot your stamps!
373
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:36,703
Gentlemen, I'd like
to propose a toast.
374
00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:40,916
To Lieutenant Mauser.
No, no, no...
375
00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:44,378
- Biggest putz of the precinct.
- All right.
376
00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:51,259
Mahoney!
377
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,262
Get me another beer, will you?
378
00:32:55,264 --> 00:32:58,058
- Is he in trouble?
- Good question.
379
00:32:58,434 --> 00:33:01,103
- Tack, what's up?
- I need to speak to you, Mahoney.
380
00:33:01,270 --> 00:33:04,398
- Okay. What?
- It's of a personal nature.
381
00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:07,067
Oh, all right. All right. All right.
382
00:33:07,735 --> 00:33:10,112
Let me buy you a drink, all right?
383
00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:17,244
Art, can I have a beer
and milk with ice. Right?
384
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:20,455
- Okay. How about a shot?
- Yeah, that'll be fine.
385
00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:22,416
So, what's up, Tack?
386
00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:26,253
It's Kirkland. My partner.
387
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:30,340
Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're a lucky guy.
She's a fox.
388
00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:33,260
- That's affirmative.
- Oh, yeah.
389
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:35,512
With regards to Kirkland...
390
00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:38,473
Something you need?
391
00:33:40,601 --> 00:33:42,602
With regards to Kirkland...
392
00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:45,022
- What?
- Well, I...
393
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,274
- I think I'm...
- You think what?
394
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:50,444
- Well, I might...
- Tack, what? Spell it out.
395
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:54,281
Lincoln, Ocean, Victor, Edward.
396
00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:59,661
Love? Eugene, you're in love!
You little devil!
397
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:02,122
You're in love. That's great!
398
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:05,542
- Let's keep this 10-35, okay?
- Oh.
399
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:08,503
Of course, of course.
Between you and me.
400
00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:11,757
You and Kirkland? So she have
the hots for you too?
401
00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:13,467
I don't know.
402
00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:18,138
I'm inexperienced in matters
of a romantic nature.
403
00:34:19,182 --> 00:34:21,641
Tack, you've been with women before.
404
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:24,019
- Well, I...
- You've had one woman before.
405
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:27,481
- Well, not really.
- I've seen you walking with girls.
406
00:34:27,648 --> 00:34:28,857
To be precise...
407
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,693
You're 28 years old.
You're a man of the world...
408
00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,528
Mahoney, I'm a virgin!
409
00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:42,996
Go about your business,
or I'll crack some heads!
410
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,417
- Proctor!
- Oh, lieutenant, I was looking for you.
411
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:51,379
I have the pictures of the fruits
drunk at the bar, like you asked.
412
00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:56,343
The composition's a little off, but, sir,
you can clearly see those fruits are drunk.
413
00:34:56,511 --> 00:35:01,181
Who asked for fruits drunk at a bar?
I asked for new recruits drunk at the bar.
414
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:03,183
Recruits?
415
00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:07,521
Lieutenant, I majored in art.
I could put a uniform on this guy.
416
00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:10,732
- It would look like Hightower.
- What are you, losing it?
417
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:12,609
Just get me Mahoney.
418
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:16,029
- Should I save these?
- Get me Mahoney!
419
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:19,407
Look at this, look at this.
I got nothing here, I got nothing.
420
00:35:19,575 --> 00:35:22,202
- Tack, would you mind? I got a life.
- Mahoney!
421
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:26,248
Lieutenant Mauser wants
to see you. Pronto!
422
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:30,919
Bom-bom-bom-bom
423
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:37,259
Any day now, Mahoney,
and your little ass is mine.
424
00:35:37,426 --> 00:35:39,553
You wanted to see me, sir?
425
00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:42,055
Didn't your mother teach you
how to knock?
426
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:46,268
It depends. Sir, I hope this isn't
gonna be too personal.
427
00:35:46,435 --> 00:35:48,728
I heard what you said
about my little butt.
428
00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:51,773
I don't know how to break this to you,
but I'm straight.
429
00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:56,361
You know, you're very funny,
you know that, Mahoney?
430
00:35:56,529 --> 00:35:59,406
Every year, we get a rookie
who thinks he's a comedian.
431
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:04,077
Well, Mr. Comedian...
432
00:36:04,453 --> 00:36:06,288
see if you think this is funny.
433
00:36:07,623 --> 00:36:09,291
It's your new assignment.
434
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:22,596
What are we supposed to be doing here?
435
00:36:22,763 --> 00:36:24,681
In case somebody's car stops...
436
00:36:24,891 --> 00:36:27,309
we save them from
carbon monoxide poisoning.
437
00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:28,935
Who's gonna save us?
438
00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:34,149
I guess it can get kind of boring?
439
00:36:35,109 --> 00:36:37,944
Hey, Lou! Lou, wanna play catch? Here!
440
00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:40,280
Go get it. Go get it, Lou.
441
00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:51,833
Lou!
442
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:55,837
Yeah. Good catch, Lou.
443
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:01,968
Silk stockings
444
00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:25,325
Excuse me?
445
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:31,081
- Could I use your restroom, please?
- You buying gas?
446
00:37:31,540 --> 00:37:32,999
No.
447
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:35,543
Then pee somewheres else.
448
00:37:35,711 --> 00:37:41,758
- Look, this is a police emergency.
- Okay. Take the key.
449
00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:49,557
Hey, don't run away with that.
450
00:37:50,017 --> 00:37:51,518
The key to forming...
451
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:55,021
a successful
citizen's watch group is communication.
452
00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:57,232
I want you to think of this precinct...
453
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,402
as the hub of a miniature
communications network...
454
00:38:00,569 --> 00:38:06,866
stretching from each of your homes
to every officer, on duty and very dirty.
455
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:13,540
- Lou, let's get something to eat.
- Anybody got any aspirin?
456
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,625
I've got a headache that's not gonna quit.
457
00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:22,215
Oh, well, look at this, here.
It's the Jones Boys.
458
00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:24,926
Holy mackerel there, Mahoney.
459
00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:27,220
What did you do, suck up a bus?
460
00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:33,143
Lou, you don't like me,
and I'm not crazy about you.
461
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:37,063
Schtulman, you keep him away from me.
462
00:38:37,231 --> 00:38:38,898
I'll be in the shower if you need me.
463
00:38:43,612 --> 00:38:46,281
Hey, Mahoney, do me a favor.
464
00:38:46,907 --> 00:38:49,284
Keep shaking this stuff
so I can fix my helmet.
465
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,537
- What did you do, crack it?
- Yeah, I gotta put that on it.
466
00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:55,248
- Some sort of a glue?
- It's epoxy resin.
467
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:59,294
- You mean, when it hardens, it...
- It turns into plastic.
468
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:01,463
- How long does it take?
- A few seconds.
469
00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:03,631
- How long does it last?
- A few years.
470
00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:11,097
And someday
471
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,516
I'm gonna be captain
472
00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:17,979
And every rookie will go down on his knee
473
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:22,400
And they'll be nothing but slaves just for me
474
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:27,781
Yeah, they will be slaves just for me
475
00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:31,159
Yeah, baby, slaves
Slaves, I said, yeah
476
00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:35,038
And they'll say "Captain Mauser"
477
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:39,084
Yowza, yowza Oh, yeah
478
00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:41,836
Oh, yeah
479
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,467
Hey.
480
00:39:48,135 --> 00:39:49,511
Hey!
481
00:39:51,013 --> 00:39:53,473
Hey! Wait a minute!
482
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:57,143
My hand got stuck to my head!
Hey, who's fooling around?
483
00:39:57,311 --> 00:40:00,105
What the fuck? Okay.
484
00:40:00,272 --> 00:40:03,691
Okay. Let's not fool around, fellas.
485
00:40:03,859 --> 00:40:05,735
It's me, and I'm not kidding around.
486
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:09,823
I want someone to take this out
of my hair! Is that you, Schtulman?
487
00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:12,200
I'm not kidding around!
Now, give me a hand.
488
00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:18,039
That ain't funny. That's very childish.
All right, cut it out!
489
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:20,542
You're acting like children. Children!
490
00:40:20,709 --> 00:40:24,337
Now, somebody, just pull my hands
out off my head now!
491
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,256
Who's in here?
492
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:30,218
Who's that? Who's that?
I'll remember that voice.
493
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:32,679
If I remember that voice,
you guys are dead.
494
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:36,766
Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead!
Is somebody here? Okay, who is this?
495
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:42,564
All right, Lou. Come on, Lou.
No, Lou, don't bite me there. Lou.
496
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:47,569
Lou. Please, Lou. Lou, please. Lou.
497
00:40:47,736 --> 00:40:50,029
Oh, no. Oh, no, Lou. Lou.
Good dog, Lou.
498
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:54,075
Oh, no! Oh, no, Lou! No, Lou!
499
00:40:57,204 --> 00:41:04,085
All right. Open that door now!
Hey, you. I'm not kidding here!
500
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:12,927
Well...
501
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:19,601
What's the matter, you never saw
a man wash his hair before?
502
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,561
Oh.
503
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,062
Captain Lassard.
504
00:41:23,564 --> 00:41:25,690
I'll be in my room if you need me.
505
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:31,779
Proctor!
506
00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:34,991
- Oh, this is gonna be just fine.
- Yeah?
507
00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:37,952
Wait, one snip here.
Let me get by the thumb.
508
00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:42,582
- Yeah?
- Oh, that's... That looks very natural.
509
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:44,501
- Looks okay?
- It's very, very good.
510
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:47,587
I don't think you'll be able
to tell the difference.
511
00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:50,798
I'll bet you anything it was Mahoney
responsible for this.
512
00:41:50,966 --> 00:41:54,093
After I'm through,
just let me shape this a little bit...
513
00:41:54,261 --> 00:41:58,306
and I think you're gonna really be
happy with what we've got here.
514
00:41:58,474 --> 00:42:00,225
- Yeah? Let me see it.
- Sure.
515
00:42:00,392 --> 00:42:02,101
Okay.
516
00:42:04,313 --> 00:42:07,357
Just look at it in the back here.
Look at it over here.
517
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,859
Could I have the mirror, please?
518
00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:11,861
Sure.
519
00:42:14,823 --> 00:42:16,449
Lieutenant?
520
00:42:18,118 --> 00:42:19,494
Sir?
521
00:42:23,165 --> 00:42:25,667
No, no, no. We'll get a wig.
522
00:42:25,834 --> 00:42:28,962
Have you seen the state-of-the-art
in wigs today, sir?
523
00:42:29,129 --> 00:42:31,172
What the hell are you talking about?
524
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:33,341
What am I gonna do about this?
525
00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:51,317
- Hey, what you doing?
- Leave me alone, lady, please?
526
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,535
Well...
527
00:43:03,372 --> 00:43:06,332
This is just what I've been looking for.
528
00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:11,588
- I'm not afraid of you punks.
- Come on, man. Come on!
529
00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:14,841
- Right here.
- Where are you going?
530
00:43:15,009 --> 00:43:17,844
- I ain't going nowhere.
- Come on, I'll take you all on.
531
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:21,347
Come on, I want you.
I'm not afraid of a wallet thief.
532
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:23,516
- Now it's just you and me.
- You and me.
533
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:25,435
Okay, come on. Come on.
534
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,854
Come on. I'm tired of talking
to you, punk.
535
00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:30,565
I wanna dance.
I wanna get my hands on you.
536
00:43:30,733 --> 00:43:33,735
Yeah. You ready to talk
to me now? Come on. Show me.
537
00:43:34,236 --> 00:43:35,903
Teach me.
538
00:43:37,364 --> 00:43:39,407
Okay, one at a time.
Put me down!
539
00:43:39,575 --> 00:43:43,369
- Come on, put me down.
- Oh, we'll put you down, all right.
540
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:46,414
At this point in time...
541
00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:50,209
yours truly was the object
of a malicious prank.
542
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:53,212
Now...
543
00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:57,383
can anybody in here
tell me how this happened?
544
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,887
I can, sir. And if you don't stop that,
you could go blind.
545
00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:06,559
You think that's funny,
don't you, Mahoney?
546
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:09,437
Well, you're on report.
Put him on report.
547
00:44:09,938 --> 00:44:15,610
We are not gonna leave this room
until we find out what happened.
548
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:18,154
- What happened?
- What's going on here?
549
00:44:18,364 --> 00:44:20,573
Nothing. I was just reprimanding the men.
550
00:44:20,741 --> 00:44:23,493
- To hell with your reprimands.
- You don't understand.
551
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:27,455
- Shut up, I have something to say.
- Would you take a look at my hands?
552
00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:30,249
I think that's a matter
of personal hygiene.
553
00:44:30,417 --> 00:44:32,585
- I am talking about public safety.
- Yes, sir.
554
00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:36,798
Now listen up, everybody.
This is serious.
555
00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,510
We've gotta do something.
556
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:43,763
This is war! Now, we didn't start it...
557
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:46,265
but we are going to finish it.
558
00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:48,768
I don't care if we work time and a half...
559
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:51,437
I don't care if we have
to work double time...
560
00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:55,775
but mark my words, we are gonna
nail these punks, starting now!
561
00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:58,444
- We can get them!
- Yeah!
562
00:44:58,612 --> 00:44:59,987
Let's kick ass!
563
00:45:01,990 --> 00:45:03,825
- Freeze!
- Freeze!
564
00:45:04,451 --> 00:45:05,827
Cuff them.
565
00:45:07,121 --> 00:45:09,789
I can't. I forgot my cuffs.
They're on the bike.
566
00:45:10,457 --> 00:45:11,999
No problem.
567
00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:25,638
Hey, hey. Excuse me. I hate to interrupt,
but can I go to the wedding?
568
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:29,475
I mean, I've got a gift.
Look. Remote.
569
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:38,860
Excuse me.
570
00:45:40,028 --> 00:45:44,532
- I don't think you should be doing that.
- What you gonna do about it?
571
00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:48,828
- I have to arrest you or something.
- You don't wanna use that.
572
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:50,830
Look, I'm serious. That's my...
573
00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:53,332
Oh, I'm sorry.
574
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:54,834
Oh, I didn't know...
575
00:46:10,517 --> 00:46:12,393
Zed don't like when you miss payments.
576
00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:13,686
You're late.
577
00:46:15,397 --> 00:46:17,023
Hey!
578
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,358
That's my greengrocer.
579
00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,194
Walk your beat, cop.
580
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:56,771
- He thinks he's Bruce Lee.
- You wanna bet?
581
00:46:58,732 --> 00:47:00,107
Damn you.
582
00:47:00,275 --> 00:47:02,026
Wanna fight?
583
00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:04,570
Fight me!
584
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:17,583
He's very good.
585
00:47:22,589 --> 00:47:24,257
I like this.
586
00:47:44,069 --> 00:47:46,320
Oh! Not on broccoli!
587
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:06,674
Oh! Not on cauliflower!
588
00:48:10,804 --> 00:48:13,472
- Hey, hey.
- Sweetchuck!
589
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:16,642
Where you going, man?
590
00:48:16,810 --> 00:48:18,686
Come on, mother.
591
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:22,189
Come on! Come on back here, man!
592
00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,704
- Come, he ran in here!
- We got him surrounded!
593
00:48:40,208 --> 00:48:41,876
Hey.
594
00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:48,841
Right. Okay, okay.
We'll be right there.
595
00:48:49,009 --> 00:48:53,095
There's a huge fight at the Blue Oyster
Bar. Should we send the SWAT team?
596
00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:54,555
- No.
- No?
597
00:48:54,723 --> 00:48:56,265
You send Mahoney in.
598
00:48:56,767 --> 00:49:00,353
M-15, a 415 in progress
at the Blue Oyster Bar.
599
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,189
- Blue Oyster?
- I'll get the address. Hold on.
600
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:07,068
- The Blue Oyster Bar is...
- 621 Cowan Avenue.
601
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,930
I'm going in.
602
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,310
Coming out!
603
00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:47,191
Hey, Hightower.
604
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:52,947
Looks pretty bad in there.
605
00:49:53,281 --> 00:49:54,573
I'm going in.
606
00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:57,326
Oh, no, no, no.
Hightower, don't go in there.
607
00:49:57,494 --> 00:50:00,579
He's gonna get himself killed. Hightower!
608
00:50:07,921 --> 00:50:10,464
Put these in the truck.
I'll be right back.
609
00:50:11,466 --> 00:50:12,800
He'll be right back.
610
00:50:15,971 --> 00:50:20,307
You have the right to remain silent.
The right to a court-appointed attorney.
611
00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:24,103
You have the right to sing the blues.
You have the right to cable TV.
612
00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:25,813
You have the right to sublet.
613
00:50:25,981 --> 00:50:28,774
You have the right to paint the walls.
No loud colors.
614
00:50:28,942 --> 00:50:31,277
Hightower. Thanks a lot, man.
615
00:50:31,820 --> 00:50:33,112
Anytime.
616
00:50:39,244 --> 00:50:41,287
Y'all be good, now.
617
00:50:53,008 --> 00:50:54,133
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
618
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:55,551
Could I have your signature?
619
00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,637
- Sure. What do you got?
- Authorization for a body cavity search.
620
00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:04,143
Listen, each and every one of you men,
and you too, of course...
621
00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:06,145
deserve real congratulations.
622
00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:08,814
That's a damn fine piece
of police work. Really.
623
00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:12,026
I think you'll feel the difference today.
624
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:14,653
The whole neighborhood
is excited about this.
625
00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:16,363
Really. Proctor!
626
00:51:16,531 --> 00:51:18,532
- When this watch is over...
- Yeah.
627
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:21,202
We'll go to the Club & Cuff.
Drinks on me.
628
00:51:21,369 --> 00:51:23,704
Captain, Chief Hurst is on the phone.
629
00:51:24,206 --> 00:51:28,542
- We'll leave you alone, sir.
- No, no, no. This is for you too?
630
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,379
Lassard.
631
00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:34,548
Yes, sir.
632
00:51:35,008 --> 00:51:38,177
Forty-two arrests, sir. Yes.
633
00:51:39,012 --> 00:51:43,349
Well, I told you these young recruits
could take care of the job, sir.
634
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,894
Here comes Mauser with more
good news. Can you hold on?
635
00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:50,439
I'm afraid we had to drop
most of the charges.
636
00:51:50,607 --> 00:51:53,400
It appears we had to drop
most of the charges?
637
00:51:53,568 --> 00:51:55,194
Improper arrest procedures.
638
00:51:55,362 --> 00:51:58,864
- Unnecessary use of force, sir.
- "Unnecessary use of force"?
639
00:51:59,032 --> 00:52:01,075
We had to release the prisoners.
640
00:52:01,243 --> 00:52:04,120
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Will there be anything else?
641
00:52:04,329 --> 00:52:07,748
I'm really sorry.
No, I just wanna be alone.
642
00:52:10,418 --> 00:52:12,753
Unnecessary use of force?!
643
00:52:12,921 --> 00:52:16,423
What are they talking about?
How are they supposed to do the job?
644
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:21,846
Mahoney.
645
00:52:22,389 --> 00:52:23,764
Mauser...
646
00:52:23,932 --> 00:52:25,891
I know what you're doing.
647
00:52:26,893 --> 00:52:28,727
Then you better be nice to me?
648
00:52:28,895 --> 00:52:31,564
Because I'm gonna be in charge
here soon.
649
00:52:46,788 --> 00:52:48,998
Yeah, I'll get to that later.
650
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:54,920
I'm all right.
651
00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:57,756
I'm trying.
652
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:05,306
Tack!
653
00:53:05,473 --> 00:53:08,434
Tack, why all dressed up?
You look great.
654
00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:10,769
- I got a date with Kirkland.
- You little...
655
00:53:10,937 --> 00:53:14,023
Your first date?
Good going, good going.
656
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:17,776
- What you got there, cologne?
- No. It's gun oil.
657
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:27,995
- Where's Mahoney?
- Here.
658
00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,956
Hey, Mahoney?
Somebody here to see you.
659
00:53:31,124 --> 00:53:32,333
- You Mahoney?
- Yeah.
660
00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,293
- I'm here for the BCS.
- BCS?
661
00:53:34,836 --> 00:53:37,504
- Body cavity search.
- Oh, right, right, right.
662
00:53:37,672 --> 00:53:39,506
Where is he?
663
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:46,639
Everybody out.
664
00:53:46,806 --> 00:53:48,432
Let's get out of here.
665
00:53:51,019 --> 00:53:54,355
Hey! What are you doing?
Wait a minute!
666
00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:58,025
- Shut him up.
- What are you doing?
667
00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:01,695
Now, just relax, and we'll get along fine.
668
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:05,241
We'll talk later.
669
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:27,054
Hello, Tackleberry.
670
00:54:27,722 --> 00:54:29,348
Kirkland.
671
00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:34,019
You look very nice.
672
00:54:35,563 --> 00:54:38,357
Permit me to respond in kind.
673
00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,402
I've never seen you
in civilian attire before.
674
00:54:41,569 --> 00:54:43,362
- Disappointed?
- Oh, negative.
675
00:54:44,739 --> 00:54:47,408
- And you?
- Oh, no.
676
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:58,377
Well, almost 1900 hours.
Guess we better go.
677
00:54:58,545 --> 00:55:00,045
Right.
678
00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:03,924
Here.
679
00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:05,926
What's this?
680
00:55:06,594 --> 00:55:10,055
They're ear cuffs.
I had them made just for you.
681
00:55:12,934 --> 00:55:14,268
Gift.
682
00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:55,309
Good night, Tackleberry.
683
00:55:56,561 --> 00:55:58,437
Good night, Kirkland.
684
00:56:01,816 --> 00:56:03,942
- Tackleberry?
- Yes?
685
00:56:05,278 --> 00:56:06,612
I love you.
686
00:56:07,947 --> 00:56:09,782
Ditto.
687
00:56:16,790 --> 00:56:19,625
- Oh, Eugene.
- Oh, Kathleen.
688
00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:39,686
Eugene.
689
00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,770
Oh, Eugene!
690
00:57:28,903 --> 00:57:30,446
Good evening.
691
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:37,369
Oh, excuse, please.
692
00:57:47,422 --> 00:57:49,923
Happy birthday, Pete.
693
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:52,926
It's not my birthday, Eric.
694
00:57:57,390 --> 00:57:59,558
Is all that crap necessary?
695
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:06,231
- You seem a little edgy, Pete.
- No, I'm fine.
696
00:58:06,399 --> 00:58:09,902
- You want chopstick or fork?
- How are things at work?
697
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:11,987
Awful.
698
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:15,282
If I don't do something quick,
I'm out of a job.
699
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:17,451
They're saying I'm too old.
700
00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:19,912
They're saying I'm losing it.
701
00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:23,624
They're saying that I'm paranoid.
702
00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:26,251
They're all out to get me, Eric.
703
00:58:26,419 --> 00:58:28,462
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
704
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:30,839
Try to relax.
705
00:58:32,008 --> 00:58:34,593
I'm sorry. It's just the strain, that's all.
706
00:58:35,470 --> 00:58:37,971
You stupid bastard!
707
00:58:38,139 --> 00:58:39,723
Excuse me.
708
00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,435
Why are you doing this to me?
709
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:45,312
- Who?
- You!
710
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:48,482
And those rookies you sent me.
711
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:51,527
All they can do is screw up.
712
00:58:51,736 --> 00:58:57,157
The neighborhood is turning against us.
They're coming at me from all directions.
713
00:58:57,325 --> 00:58:58,659
That would be normal.
714
00:59:00,370 --> 00:59:01,954
Why don't you do something?
715
00:59:02,121 --> 00:59:04,998
- Like what?
- Well...
716
00:59:05,667 --> 00:59:08,168
something to reassure
the neighborhood.
717
00:59:09,003 --> 00:59:12,798
A special show of police involvement
for the neighborhood.
718
00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:19,304
A street fair.
719
00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:24,309
Eric, that's a brilliant idea.
720
00:59:25,186 --> 00:59:27,312
What's a big brother for?
721
00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:37,155
- This fish is boiling.
- Oh, you want stir-fry?
722
00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:53,589
Step right up! It's so simple
even a quarterback can do it.
723
00:59:53,798 --> 00:59:55,507
- You look like a quarterback.
- Me?
724
00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:57,092
- Yeah.
- Hold this?
725
00:59:57,302 --> 00:59:59,219
I'll hold your cotton candy.
726
00:59:59,387 --> 01:00:01,430
I know you can do it. Come on.
727
01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:03,849
Get it up on your shoulder.
728
01:00:20,533 --> 01:00:22,909
Thank you, Mrs. Mayor.
729
01:00:23,077 --> 01:00:27,080
Now, this broom is just a symbol
of the new spirit...
730
01:00:27,248 --> 01:00:31,209
that's sweeping across
our neighborhood.
731
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:40,427
And so, Mrs. Mayor,
perhaps you'll join with me...
732
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:44,723
in sweeping the crime
off our streets for good.
733
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:57,944
- What's going on here?
- Cops are having a fair.
734
01:00:58,946 --> 01:01:01,239
- What for?
- They're trying to raise money...
735
01:01:01,407 --> 01:01:04,076
to clean up the neighborhood.
736
01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:07,454
That's awful nice of them.
737
01:01:07,622 --> 01:01:10,415
Are they gonna have games
and prizes and rides?
738
01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:13,085
Yeah!
739
01:01:13,252 --> 01:01:17,589
- Are they gonna have a Ferris wheel?
- They got a big one.
740
01:01:17,757 --> 01:01:21,635
I hate Ferris wheels!
741
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:26,682
I got a bad stomach. Make me sick.
742
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,143
- You don't have to ride on it.
- No!
743
01:01:30,311 --> 01:01:36,441
- Well, I'll go on it if you go on with me.
- Okay.
744
01:01:36,609 --> 01:01:41,405
- Let's go have some fun.
- Yeah!
745
01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:03,969
It's mayhem.
746
01:02:17,817 --> 01:02:20,652
- Hi, are you the mayor?
- Yes. Yes, I am.
747
01:02:20,820 --> 01:02:23,697
- I voted for you.
- Oh, that was very nice of you.
748
01:02:23,948 --> 01:02:28,535
- I know when I'm whipped.
- Sir, that's not like you.
749
01:02:28,703 --> 01:02:31,997
- Who's taking over? Don't tell me.
- Mahoney.
750
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:35,876
Captain Mauser wants to see you
in the squad room. Now.
751
01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:44,843
From this moment on, I am the de facto
commander of this precinct.
752
01:02:47,346 --> 01:02:53,185
My name is Captain Mauser. Captain.
753
01:02:55,271 --> 01:02:57,189
On Thursday last...
754
01:02:57,356 --> 01:03:03,236
yours truly was the object
of a disgusting personal attack.
755
01:03:04,530 --> 01:03:10,410
And I would like to have some names.
756
01:03:10,578 --> 01:03:12,537
Just some names.
757
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,586
Okay.
758
01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:25,884
Have it your way. But I will suspend
every single one of you!
759
01:03:28,888 --> 01:03:30,764
Sir.
760
01:03:32,308 --> 01:03:33,600
I did it.
761
01:03:39,023 --> 01:03:41,066
Mahoney.
762
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:43,610
Mahoney?
763
01:03:43,778 --> 01:03:48,782
- What kind of clown do you think I am?
- A juggling clown?
764
01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:52,244
- You're suspended. Indefinitely! Sit down!
- You can't do that.
765
01:03:52,411 --> 01:03:54,329
- What?
- You suspend him, you suspend me.
766
01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:58,917
My pleasure. Sit down, smelly.
767
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,462
We don't know where they come from,
where they hide out.
768
01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:05,757
We don't even know who their leader is.
769
01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:10,595
- God, would I like to nail that bunch.
- I would love to get my job back.
770
01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:15,267
I say we do what Baretta would do.
771
01:04:15,434 --> 01:04:16,810
Baretta?
772
01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:20,522
- What?
- Go undercover.
773
01:04:20,690 --> 01:04:23,441
Infiltrate the gang. Get their confidence.
774
01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:27,863
- Schtulman.
- You think you could do that?
775
01:04:30,449 --> 01:04:32,200
No.
776
01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:35,954
But he could.
777
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,001
- He's right.
- No.
778
01:04:41,168 --> 01:04:43,545
You're young enough.
779
01:04:43,713 --> 01:04:46,464
Hell, you even look like
one of the little creeps.
780
01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:50,135
- He's talking about a television show.
- Mahoney, here's the deal.
781
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:53,847
Now, I can't pay you a salary,
can't even give you expenses.
782
01:04:54,473 --> 01:04:58,977
If you get yourself in a jam,
I might not be able to bail you out.
783
01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:01,521
- Could be dangerous.
- You could get killed.
784
01:05:02,648 --> 01:05:03,982
He's right.
785
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:10,030
Sounds awfully tempting.
786
01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:58,411
Get out of there!
He'll call you back!
787
01:06:01,749 --> 01:06:04,793
I said, he'll call you back!
788
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:08,546
Hey, man! Hey, man, what you doing?
789
01:06:10,216 --> 01:06:12,300
- Nothing.
- Why'd you mess up the phone?
790
01:06:12,468 --> 01:06:15,261
I felt like it. Don't sit so close!
791
01:06:15,429 --> 01:06:18,765
- I'm Flacko. This is my man Mojo.
- What do they call you, man?
792
01:06:18,933 --> 01:06:22,644
- Jughead! Jughead!
- Me and Mojo, we're with the Scullions.
793
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:25,397
- Who do you run with?
- The Archies. The Archies.
794
01:06:25,564 --> 01:06:29,484
- I ain't never heard of no Archies.
- Used to be the Fudpuckers.
795
01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:33,446
- Yeah, I think I know some Fudpuckers.
- Don't press your luck!
796
01:06:33,614 --> 01:06:36,074
- Hey, you should be with us.
- Oh, yeah? Why?
797
01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:38,743
- Because we the baddest.
- You the baddest.
798
01:06:38,911 --> 01:06:42,247
- How do I get to be a Scallion?
- Scullion, not Scallion.
799
01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:45,792
What's the difference?
You're lucky you're sitting with me.
800
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,002
We get you in.
801
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:51,423
Here comes the Man. Watch your feet,
he's gonna run them over.
802
01:06:56,637 --> 01:06:59,014
Well, my, my.
803
01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:01,099
Hello. What are you boys up to?
804
01:07:03,477 --> 01:07:05,770
Know anything about
destruction of property?
805
01:07:05,938 --> 01:07:09,441
- Man, we ain't done nothing.
- Oh, you ain't? Oh, my, look at that.
806
01:07:09,608 --> 01:07:11,526
Put them against the wall.
You too, chico.
807
01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:14,279
Come on, get over there!
Spread your legs!
808
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:16,281
Come on!
809
01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:19,784
What do you think you're doing?
Come on! Spread them!
810
01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:24,330
Don't move! Don't move! Shut up!
Get out of the car.
811
01:07:25,958 --> 01:07:30,128
Come over here. Toss out your gun.
Now we're gonna have a little fun.
812
01:07:30,296 --> 01:07:34,340
Know what I mean? A little fun.
Now you spread them. You spread them.
813
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:39,012
Now kick him. Yeah, kick him.
814
01:07:39,180 --> 01:07:41,973
You like that? Kick him again. And harder.
815
01:07:43,684 --> 01:07:47,687
- You're crazy.
- You like that? Hold it. Hey, Jones.
816
01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:52,025
That's it, that's it, that's it. All right.
Now get away from the car.
817
01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:53,818
Get away from the car.
818
01:07:53,986 --> 01:07:58,823
Who's this guy? This guy giving us lip?
Maybe we should give him a little lip.
819
01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:02,202
You like that? How about some more?
820
01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:06,372
Hey, get out of here. Get out of here.
821
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:10,585
Hope you're all right, sir.
What do you think?
822
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:13,213
Beautiful, baby.
823
01:08:15,007 --> 01:08:19,719
- There's the little girl. Come, June.
- This is my big brother, Bud.
824
01:08:19,887 --> 01:08:22,180
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Bud.
825
01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:23,890
- Hi, little girl.
- Daddy!
826
01:08:24,058 --> 01:08:28,436
- So you're gonna leave Daddy?
- This is Eugene.
827
01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:30,522
Hi, Tackleberry.
828
01:08:30,689 --> 01:08:33,942
- Good grip.
- I better check the roast.
829
01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:37,070
Yeah, check the roast, sweetheart!
830
01:08:38,030 --> 01:08:40,615
Hey, come on. Sit down.
831
01:08:43,828 --> 01:08:47,705
My little girl here tells me
that you're into self-defense.
832
01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:50,792
- That's quite correct, sir.
- Yeah, well...
833
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:54,754
I was in the South Pacific back in '44,
in the Seabees.
834
01:08:55,339 --> 01:08:59,092
Daddy was middleweight champion
in the Seabees.
835
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:03,054
I used to be pretty good at boxing,
but my boy is pretty good too.
836
01:09:03,222 --> 01:09:05,390
He was on the high school
championship team.
837
01:09:05,558 --> 01:09:06,558
Yeah.
838
01:09:06,725 --> 01:09:09,894
- But I can still take him, right?
- I don't know, Dad. Take it easy.
839
01:09:10,062 --> 01:09:11,896
- Come on!
- I don't think so, Dad.
840
01:09:12,064 --> 01:09:14,607
Come on. Come on.
841
01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:18,945
- Oh, you all right, Dad?
- Hey, pretty good?
842
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:24,909
- I'm sorry, kid? It's all right?
- It's all right.
843
01:09:25,619 --> 01:09:26,911
Good!
844
01:09:34,795 --> 01:09:36,171
Oh! Oh. Oh.
845
01:09:38,424 --> 01:09:42,468
- Are you all right?
- Good? That was...
846
01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:50,935
You boys stop that foolishness
and come to the table. Dinner's ready!
847
01:09:51,103 --> 01:09:55,523
When these two start at it,
they're just a couple of kids.
848
01:09:55,691 --> 01:09:59,527
What do you say?
Go have some chow?
849
01:09:59,695 --> 01:10:00,820
Aren't they sweet?
850
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:04,324
Captain, if you could tape this on him
as high as you can.
851
01:10:04,491 --> 01:10:07,118
- Where did you get this thing?
- I built it.
852
01:10:07,286 --> 01:10:11,539
- Why does it say "Mr. Microphone"?
- It's okay. I made a few modifications.
853
01:10:11,707 --> 01:10:15,627
All right, okay. Sir!
Sir, it's a little tight.
854
01:10:15,794 --> 01:10:19,464
Sorry. Okay, hold on.
855
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:25,970
Look. Tonight, they're taking me to meet
the leader of the gang, the head guy.
856
01:10:26,513 --> 01:10:30,350
That's good. As long as this is on,
we'll hear every word, right?
857
01:10:30,517 --> 01:10:32,852
- Right.
- Do me a favor, and yourself.
858
01:10:33,020 --> 01:10:36,731
Just try to drop a hint now and then
as to where you are...
859
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:39,817
so we can sort of keep track
of you, okay?
860
01:10:39,985 --> 01:10:41,569
- Sir?
- Yeah.
861
01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:45,823
- You sure this is gonna work?
- Will you stop worrying?
862
01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:49,661
Mumphrey swings. And it's a home run!
863
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:55,500
Does that every once in a while.
Just give it a tap.
864
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,712
- Hey!
- All right.
865
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:01,839
All right. Hey, it's your shot.
866
01:11:03,342 --> 01:11:05,301
Sorry. Hey, hey, great car.
867
01:11:05,469 --> 01:11:07,178
- Where'd you buy it?
- Get in.
868
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:08,680
- All right.
- In the back.
869
01:11:08,847 --> 01:11:11,766
- In the back.
- Come on, let's go.
870
01:11:19,066 --> 01:11:23,069
- Hey, man, it's hot. Take off your coat.
- No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
871
01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:27,240
- I like hot.
- Damn. Damn!
872
01:11:27,408 --> 01:11:28,449
Where we going?
873
01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:30,743
That's for me to know, you to find out.
874
01:11:30,911 --> 01:11:33,413
Right, right. I just like to drive. Right.
875
01:11:33,580 --> 01:11:35,623
- Wait until you meet Zed.
- Zed?
876
01:11:35,791 --> 01:11:37,625
- He's the man.
- He's bad.
877
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:39,252
Hey, he's the best.
878
01:11:40,879 --> 01:11:43,548
- Mahoney, talk to me.
- Sir, he can't hear you.
879
01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:45,925
I know that, Schtulman.
880
01:11:46,260 --> 01:11:48,469
Hey, are we going south?
881
01:11:48,637 --> 01:11:51,597
Because I got a lot of enemies
down South.
882
01:11:54,393 --> 01:11:56,561
Yeah, man. Yeah, man.
883
01:11:56,729 --> 01:12:00,064
I like it, man. I like it.
I don't know where I am. I like it.
884
01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:20,918
Yo, we got a friend. A friend.
885
01:12:21,962 --> 01:12:24,422
All right, all right.
886
01:12:25,632 --> 01:12:29,260
I like it. I like it. You know what I mean?
I like it. All right.
887
01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:32,638
- What is this place?
- It's where they kept the bears.
888
01:12:32,806 --> 01:12:35,808
Oh, yeah? Well, where are the bears?
889
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:40,688
Yeah, right. Bears. Maybe I should
go home, get something to eat.
890
01:12:40,856 --> 01:12:44,150
Oh, hi, fella. Hi, nice to see you.
Nice shades. Nice shades.
891
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:45,985
Oh, nice bridge. Little shaky.
892
01:12:53,952 --> 01:12:56,496
Hey, I like this place. I really like it.
893
01:12:57,289 --> 01:13:01,125
- He's home.
- Yeah, home. I like it, I like it.
894
01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:05,296
Lot of big steps, lot of graffiti on
the wall. A cavelike atmosphere.
895
01:13:05,464 --> 01:13:08,299
Just like The Flintstones.
Where's Fred and Wilma?
896
01:13:08,467 --> 01:13:10,468
- He's cool.
- Where you been all my life?
897
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:14,806
Don't get fresh. Maybe later.
898
01:13:14,973 --> 01:13:16,516
I'm in trouble.
899
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:20,686
What a place! Looks like a flea market.
I went shopping yesterday.
900
01:13:20,854 --> 01:13:23,689
We got the same barber.
You get a headache from that?
901
01:13:26,318 --> 01:13:29,904
You'll be awfully lonely sleeping without
Mrs. Beasley.
902
01:13:30,114 --> 01:13:32,073
- I know.
- Zed?
903
01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:35,159
- I'm watching Family Affair.
- Zed.
904
01:13:35,327 --> 01:13:39,539
It's a rerun. What do you want?
905
01:13:39,706 --> 01:13:45,753
- I think he'd be a good Scullion.
- You don't think, Flacko. You ask!
906
01:13:45,921 --> 01:13:49,674
- You got a name? What do they call you?
- Jughead.
907
01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:54,512
Jughead. My mother's name
was Jughead.
908
01:13:54,888 --> 01:13:59,684
- Well, I've been thinking of changing it.
- Why? It's a good American name.
909
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:01,853
As such!
910
01:14:02,229 --> 01:14:06,065
Right, right, right. Yeah, nice place.
Great place.
911
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:07,692
Thank you very much.
912
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:11,237
I had a woman who used to come
in here about once a week...
913
01:14:11,405 --> 01:14:14,031
but I had to fire her. It didn't pan out.
914
01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:16,576
- Oh, really? I might know someone.
- Shut up!
915
01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:20,746
- I don't know anyone. Not a person.
- What are you so nervous about?
916
01:14:20,914 --> 01:14:24,584
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
The place weirds me out.
917
01:14:24,751 --> 01:14:26,294
It smells like animals.
918
01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:28,754
They took him to my place?
919
01:14:28,922 --> 01:14:30,298
- Where are we?
- The old zoo.
920
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:32,049
The old zoo!
921
01:14:33,594 --> 01:14:38,556
The old zoo. The old...
Not the new zoo, but the old zoo.
922
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:41,058
You have a cigarette? Some smokes?
923
01:14:41,226 --> 01:14:42,977
- The old zoo.
- The old zoo?
924
01:14:43,187 --> 01:14:47,231
- I never even saw the new zoo.
- Well, now's your chance, Schtulman.
925
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:52,236
Lou may love it. It'll be like a new home.
Turn the wheel!
926
01:14:55,616 --> 01:14:58,618
What about a light?
What about some little fire?
927
01:15:01,121 --> 01:15:03,581
You shouldn't smoke.
It's bad for your health.
928
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:07,627
- Think I'll quit.
- At Raceway Park.
929
01:15:07,794 --> 01:15:12,131
- Dragsters...
- You're wired!
930
01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:16,511
- You're a cop.
- No, no, no. I'm a singer.
931
01:15:18,805 --> 01:15:21,015
You're a cop.
932
01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,602
And you're an ugly cop.
933
01:15:25,437 --> 01:15:29,440
Attention all units. Attention all units.
We've got a 997 at the old zoo.
934
01:15:29,608 --> 01:15:32,944
- 997?
- We got a 997 at the old zoo.
935
01:15:33,111 --> 01:15:36,113
A 997 at the old zoo.
Mahoney needs help.
936
01:15:36,615 --> 01:15:41,327
Step on it, please. Not you, Lou!
937
01:15:41,495 --> 01:15:44,622
All units. We have a 997
at the old abandoned zoo!
938
01:15:44,790 --> 01:15:47,625
- What are you doing?
- I was calling for assistance.
939
01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:51,003
- Mahoney's in trouble.
- Mahoney is suspended.
940
01:15:51,171 --> 01:15:54,006
You will do nothing of the kind.
941
01:15:55,342 --> 01:15:57,301
Hurry! Hurry! Mahoney's in trouble!
942
01:15:57,469 --> 01:16:00,513
- Mahoney!
- Let's go!
943
01:16:04,184 --> 01:16:06,394
- What's up?
- Mahoney's in trouble.
944
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:08,521
- Let me drive.
- Will you get in!
945
01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:11,857
Hey! Wait a minute!
946
01:16:12,401 --> 01:16:14,527
Wait a minute!
947
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:19,031
- Don't make me flare my nostrils!
- Excuse me, Zed. Look, relax.
948
01:16:19,199 --> 01:16:21,867
You gotta calm down.
You gotta breathe with me.
949
01:16:22,035 --> 01:16:25,246
- One, two, three.
- I'm getting too much caffeine.
950
01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:29,375
- Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go now.
- I ought to kill you!
951
01:16:29,668 --> 01:16:31,085
- Hightower.
- Yes, sir?
952
01:16:31,295 --> 01:16:33,879
I want you and Jones
to cross that bridge.
953
01:16:34,047 --> 01:16:37,550
Wait outside this entrance until
you hear my signal. Get going.
954
01:16:37,718 --> 01:16:39,719
No going.
955
01:16:39,886 --> 01:16:43,389
Well, well, well.
956
01:16:43,890 --> 01:16:47,393
If it isn't the former captain...
957
01:16:48,353 --> 01:16:50,938
Pete Lassard.
958
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:57,862
- What the hell do you think you're doing?
- I'm making a plan of attack.
959
01:16:58,030 --> 01:17:02,283
Now, there's an air vent on top of
that cave. I'll be going in through there.
960
01:17:02,451 --> 01:17:05,870
- Schtulman...
- Like hell you are. I'm in charge here.
961
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:07,872
- Fackler.
- Yes, sir.
962
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,875
- You'll come with me.
- Where?
963
01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:13,210
To the air vent.
964
01:17:14,921 --> 01:17:16,422
Captain Mauser.
965
01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:27,558
- We're gonna do this my way.
- I'm not gonna move my elbow.
966
01:17:27,726 --> 01:17:32,271
- I don't need that. I need that.
- Get out of here!
967
01:17:32,439 --> 01:17:34,899
Wanna trade?
968
01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:37,443
Okay, up you go, sir.
969
01:17:39,738 --> 01:17:43,658
- Get your hand out of my ass!
- Sorry, sorry.
970
01:17:45,952 --> 01:17:50,289
- Oh! Mauser! Mauser!
- Captain Mauser. Come on.
971
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:51,957
Sorry.
972
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:04,095
- What is this place?
- Bear cave.
973
01:18:05,472 --> 01:18:08,140
- Come on.
- Oh, drawbridge.
974
01:18:15,273 --> 01:18:16,857
- What's that?
- Rats.
975
01:18:17,025 --> 01:18:19,527
- Rats?
- Rats.
976
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:23,948
Good idea. You stay here,
cover the outside.
977
01:18:24,116 --> 01:18:27,618
Be right back. I hope.
978
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,679
Wait, wait, wait!
Blow out the candle.
979
01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:52,643
Wait a minute!
980
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:54,729
Get back!
981
01:18:54,938 --> 01:18:57,690
Sorry, I'm nervous. What?
982
01:18:57,858 --> 01:19:01,861
Wrap it around your waist.
Make a double slipknot like this.
983
01:19:05,532 --> 01:19:09,368
- I'm gonna lower you down real gently.
- Me?
984
01:19:09,536 --> 01:19:10,828
No, your mother.
985
01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:17,084
- Let me show you what to do. Fackler!
- Oh, no!
986
01:19:17,252 --> 01:19:19,712
Oh, shit!
987
01:19:24,384 --> 01:19:27,845
- Stop this thing!
- What it is! Everybody's under arrest!
988
01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:33,893
- They've arrived.
- Get me out of here! Fackler!
989
01:19:36,354 --> 01:19:38,856
Get me out of here! Oh, God!
990
01:19:43,695 --> 01:19:47,740
- Now, Zed, you're being reasonable.
- I hate reasonable!
991
01:19:49,409 --> 01:19:50,910
Schtulman, it's me!
992
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,504
This is the police department.
993
01:20:06,551 --> 01:20:08,052
Throw down your weapons...
994
01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:10,596
put up your hands
and come out of this cave.
995
01:20:12,766 --> 01:20:15,226
Hi, boys.
996
01:20:15,393 --> 01:20:17,102
But, sir... No!
997
01:20:45,298 --> 01:20:48,259
- Zed, come on, let's talk.
- I'm not in the mood!
998
01:20:48,426 --> 01:20:51,846
- Drop the gun.
- I'm in the mood.
999
01:20:52,055 --> 01:20:56,141
- So where are you from?
- Drop the gun, punk!
1000
01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:59,478
You won't shoot!
You don't have any guts!
1001
01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:02,273
Three more seconds,
you don't have any brains.
1002
01:21:02,983 --> 01:21:07,278
- I do so have brains.
- Sir, three seconds is up.
1003
01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:09,947
I'm on about two and a half!
1004
01:21:10,323 --> 01:21:12,116
Drop it.
1005
01:21:15,954 --> 01:21:20,457
- Good job, sir!
- Thanks, Mahoney. Pick up the gun.
1006
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,503
That didn't hurt.
1007
01:21:25,171 --> 01:21:29,967
That didn't hurt.
1008
01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:33,512
- That hurt!
- Don't move, dirtbag!
1009
01:21:33,847 --> 01:21:35,681
Where you been, Hooks?
1010
01:21:47,694 --> 01:21:50,863
Sir, that was beautiful.
1011
01:21:56,328 --> 01:22:00,205
Haven't carried live ammo since '73.
1012
01:22:09,215 --> 01:22:11,842
Welcome back, captain.
1013
01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:17,848
Proctor!
1014
01:22:35,742 --> 01:22:39,244
One. Two.
1015
01:22:54,302 --> 01:22:57,930
Tack. Now, you be a good boy tonight.
1016
01:22:58,723 --> 01:22:59,974
You guys.
1017
01:23:04,562 --> 01:23:08,232
All right, boys. At ease.
1018
01:23:08,900 --> 01:23:11,777
Thanks. Okay, one more. Oh, excuse me.
1019
01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:17,116
- Hi, commandant.
- Mahoney, how are you?
1020
01:23:17,283 --> 01:23:19,451
- Pretty good.
- We've missed you.
1021
01:23:19,619 --> 01:23:21,120
- Thanks.
- Not that much.
1022
01:23:27,252 --> 01:23:29,962
- Bye!
- Bye-bye!
1023
01:23:32,757 --> 01:23:34,633
Bye!78723
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