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1
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,985
Two, please, for
Escape from the Mummy's Tomb.
2
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,702
Oh, I'm afraid
there's a minimum group size
3
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,162
- of four people.
- Oh, no.
4
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:35,513
- Our girlfriends canceled.
- Oh, yeah, that sucks.
5
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,602
Well, you got ten minutes
to make our next session.
6
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,822
Where are we gonna find
two people in ten minutes?
7
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,309
And they've got
to be really smart
8
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,391
and good at solving puzzles.
9
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,611
Hmm, there's got to be somebody.
10
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:49,788
Yeah, that kicks ass. Yeah.
11
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,573
Okay, so this
is the four of you?
12
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,141
- Yes.
- You guys are smart, right?
13
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,708
Uh, yeah.
14
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,971
That's why you asked us
to join you, m'ladies.
15
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,538
Smart.
16
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:03,498
Okay, now, remember,
if you can work together
17
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,761
to find the clues
and solve the puzzles,
18
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:08,720
then you might be able to
escape from the mummy's tomb.
19
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,087
It's down the hall to your left.
20
00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:11,941
We do take payment
in advance, please.
21
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:15,727
Uh, we'll just go ahead
while you ladies pay.
22
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,531
But afterwards, we'll
split it four ways, right?
23
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:21,124
Yeah, baby.
24
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:24,432
Did you hear that, Beavis?
They want to have a four-way.
25
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:25,998
Whoa, really?
26
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,521
That's right.
27
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,393
We got to escape
from the mummy's tomb,
28
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,221
and then they'll see
how smart we are,
29
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,832
and then we will score.
30
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:36,618
Uh, he said left, right?
31
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,116
Right, yeah, yeah,
that's right, yeah.
32
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,577
Right.
33
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,319
Uh, okay.
34
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,408
Huh.
35
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,107
So this is the mummy's tomb.
36
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,196
Whoa, amazing.
37
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:52,068
It looks just like a bathroom.
38
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,636
Hmm, interesting.
39
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,203
This mummy is trickier
than I thought.
40
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,295
Butt-Head, it won't open.
We're trapped.
41
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,905
Of course we are, dumb-ass.
42
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,037
That's why they call it
an escape room.
43
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,301
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, let's look for clues.
44
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,259
Exactly, Beavis.
45
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,955
We will solve the escape room,
46
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,872
and then we will solve the
greatest mystery of them all...
47
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,439
Scoring.
48
00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:18,616
Oh, yeah, yeah.
49
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:21,576
- Hi, everyone.
- My name is Mary Katherine and...
50
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,119
My name is Mary Katherine.
51
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,816
And this is my college
decision reaction video.
52
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,147
- And...
- I know my college decision.
53
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,323
No.
54
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,281
Yeah, no way.
55
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,197
Absolutely not.
56
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,764
Let's watch something else,
Butt-Head.
57
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,942
What's going on?
58
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,291
This is scary.
59
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,075
Oh, fight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
60
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,531
She's putting her
in a choke hold.
61
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,383
She's got a choke hold.
62
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,429
Yeah, elbow her in the ribs,
come on.
63
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,908
Come on, grab her arm.
Come on.
64
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,737
- You can get out of this.
- Teach her a lesson.
65
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:55,000
Make sure she never
gets into Harvard again.
66
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,111
I don't know
how you get into Harvard
67
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,050
if you can't even
kick your own mom's ass.
68
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,008
Come on, come on.
69
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,793
Her face is wide open.
Come on.
70
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,795
Looks like the mom
is gonna win this one.
71
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,971
There will come a day
72
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,626
when you will defeat me,
Mary Katherine,
73
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,368
but today is not that day.
74
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,197
Ah, ah!
75
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,676
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
76
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,942
Uh...
77
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,597
Butt-Head,
I think I found a clue.
78
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,556
Check it out.
There's words.
79
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:31,907
- Hmm, words.
- Let's see.
80
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,910
Jason... eats...
81
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,781
balls.
82
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,870
Jason eats balls.
83
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,959
- Hmm.
- Huh.
84
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:44,311
- But what does it mean?
- Who is Jason?
85
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,836
Why does he eat balls?
Whose balls does he eat?
86
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,099
Ah, the mummy's balls?
87
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,188
Perhaps.
88
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,624
Yeah, this is hard.
89
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,322
Maybe we should ask those girls.
90
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:57,249
Beavis, those girls
weren't even smart enough
91
00:03:57,324 --> 00:04:00,065
to figure out how to get
in the escape room.
92
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,130
They're gonna think
we're geniuses when we get out.
93
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,982
Oh, yeah, yeah.
94
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:06,004
Yeah, maybe they'll be
dumb enough to score with us.
95
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,683
Yeah, yeah.
96
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,251
Oh, my God, are they still
in the bathroom?
97
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687
They're weird.
98
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,254
They must be
in tech or something.
99
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,518
Hey, is it okay if
Kyle and Brad join your group?
100
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:20,042
Okay, sure.
101
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,653
This mummy forgot to, like,
leave clues or something.
102
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,438
Whoa, Butt-Head, look.
103
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:28,659
I found a clue.
Look, a turd.
104
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,836
Hmm, now we're getting
somewhere, Beavis.
105
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,883
- Finally, a real clue.
- Yeah.
106
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:38,843
Now, why would someone
put a turd in a toilet?
107
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:42,891
- Hmm.
- It just doesn't make sense.
108
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:46,068
Wait a minute.
Maybe someone took a dump.
109
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,637
- Damn it, Beavis, shut up.
- I'm thinking.
110
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,005
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
111
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:54,163
Beavis, you mean well,
but you're a dumb-ass.
112
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,513
I have figured it out.
113
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,212
That turd can mean
only one thing.
114
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,563
This mummy is disgusting.
115
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,529
Check it out, Beavis,
another clue.
116
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,924
- So what do we do with it?
- Elementary, my dear dumb-ass.
117
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,840
And now
I shall solve the puzzle.
118
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,016
- Open.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
119
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,497
Open, you son of a bitch.
120
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,673
I think it's working.
121
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,197
Damn it.
122
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,981
Give me my clue back, butthole.
123
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:31,766
- Cut it out, Butt-Head.
- Come on, let go.
124
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,641
Whoa, Butt-Head, you did it.
125
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:40,470
I'm smart.
126
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,516
Yeah, yeah. You're probably
gonna score, too.
127
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,784
About to escape, yeah.
128
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,007
We didn't escape, Butt-Head.
129
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,706
Uh, damn it.
130
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,577
Yeah, and this tomb
is even harder.
131
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,710
There's no urinals.
132
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,929
And what are these things?
133
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:08,106
Hmm, no human alive
knows what these are.
134
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,458
We must put them in the toilet.
135
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:14,548
Oh, yeah.
136
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,941
How to make tattoo ink
in prison.
137
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,769
A soda can, some toilet tissue,
138
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,337
some hair grease,
and a saltine crackers box.
139
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,860
Fold the tissue up and...
140
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,507
Whoa, this guy
is definitely a criminal.
141
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,623
That's what it should look like.
142
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:27,798
What accent is this?
143
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,780
Take your hair grease
and fill up...
144
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:32,348
It's like a prison accent.
145
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,306
I want to talk like that.
146
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,177
Got some toilet tissue,
147
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,135
saltine cracker box.
148
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,746
Tear off three sheets
of toilet tissue.
149
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,182
Twist it very tight.
150
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,638
Twist it up real tight.
151
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,098
Light your candle
and set your box
152
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,882
over top of it
to collect all the soot.
153
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,409
- Set your box over top of it.
- Set the box on two pencils...
154
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,757
Set it on two pencils,
so it can breathe.
155
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,020
After about an hour,
you can see all the soot...
156
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,867
After about an hour,
you can see all the soot
157
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,391
that's caught inside the box.
158
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,025
Scrape it into a pile.
159
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,549
This, like,
makes me want to go to jail.
160
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,986
Add a tiny bit of
hand sanitizer or body wash.
161
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,554
What did this guy do
to get in prison, I wonder?
162
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,078
He didn't have to do anything.
163
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,646
They just let him right in.
164
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,363
Yeah, they just looked
at him and were like,
165
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,997
"Sir, I can tell by
looking at you
166
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,782
"that you're gonna be
in jail eventually,
167
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,189
so let's just get this
over with."
168
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,917
Only a drop or two of water.
169
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,329
This is, like,
a pretty nice prison
170
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:22,746
he's in here, you know?
171
00:07:22,832 --> 00:07:27,011
No, he's back at his mom's.
172
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,883
Yeah, his mom's gonna be like,
173
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,730
"Damn it, did
you take my saltine cracker box
174
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,061
and use it
for your tattoo again?"
175
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,715
"Damn it, boy,
176
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:35,866
"you ain't never gonna
eat chicken
177
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,258
"in this house again you don't
give me back
178
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,459
my saltine cracker box."
179
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,199
"What am I gonna do
if I kill your daddy
180
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:44,202
"and have to tattoo
a teardrop next to my eye?
181
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:46,596
How am I gonna do that
without soot?"
182
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,293
Every tattoo I have is that ink,
183
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,686
and they're,
like, ten years old.
184
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,343
Um, Butt-Head, I dressed up
like a mummy like you said,
185
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,040
and I still can't
find any clues.
186
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:59,391
Uh, who cares about clues?
187
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,003
Let's flush this stuff
down the toilet.
188
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,267
Yeah, if we're gonna be
stuck in here,
189
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,138
we might as well
do something cool.
190
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,923
Yeah.
191
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,012
Congratulations, by the way.
192
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,144
That's the fastest anyone's
solved the mummy's tomb.
193
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,233
What the hell?
194
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,845
Let's stick the plunger
in the sink.
195
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:21,239
Yeah, flooding is cool.
196
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,154
- Oh, my God.
- What the hell?
197
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,113
Who would do something
like that?
198
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,550
Check it out, Beavis, it worked.
199
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,509
Yeah, we're geniuses.
200
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,424
- We escaped.
- Yeah, this is cool.
201
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,212
Damn it,
where are those girls going?
202
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,389
Uh, I guess we scared them off
203
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,260
with our genius-ing
or something.
204
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,741
They just couldn't handle it.
205
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:48,136
Oh, well...
206
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:51,139
I've been waiting to
go to the bathroom for hours.
207
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,488
Um, where's the bathroom?
208
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,272
Yeah, it's down the hall
to the right.
209
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,451
Here we go.
210
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,932
This bathroom is weird.
211
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,779
Yeah, I'm not gonna be
picky at this point.
212
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,565
Help me with the lid here,
Butt-Head.
213
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:09,331
Unbelievable.
214
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:12,290
Those two girls have no class.
215
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,118
What... Hey, hey,
what are you doing?
216
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,512
That's better.
217
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,688
- Stop, stop that!
- Stop that! Stop! Stop!
218
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,189
Hey, how's it going?
219
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:44,801
- Do you have any matches?
- No.
220
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,935
- How about a lighter?
- No.
221
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,547
Because it says
you have fire wings.
222
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:52,940
Get out of here, kid.
223
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,771
- Damn it.
- Fartknocker.
224
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,907
Huh, let's go have a look.
225
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,479
Whoa, fire!
Yeah, yeah!
226
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:13,351
Yeah, fire!
Fire!
227
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:16,441
Fire! Fire!
228
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,620
Hello, Beavis.
229
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:23,492
I have been waiting for you.
230
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:26,800
I am Fire.
231
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:29,977
- Whoa, yeah, fire!
- Yeah, yeah.
232
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,501
You, like... you kick ass.
Yeah.
233
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:37,071
I have great power, yes.
234
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,203
- Yeah, yeah.
- Wait a minute.
235
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,250
So, like... so you can talk?
236
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:45,557
I have always been able
to talk to you, Beavis.
237
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,299
Remember?
238
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:59,267
Beavis, it is I, Fire.
239
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:03,488
Look upon my fearful glory.
240
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,796
Fire.
241
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,103
Yeah, fire.
242
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,409
Um, Fire, do you remember
when I put an M-80
243
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:15,500
in Mr. Anderson's mailbox
and it started a big fire?
244
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:18,982
Yes, that was me.
245
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,680
Remember when I found
my first lighter
246
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,378
and it was, like, fire.
Yeah.
247
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:27,991
- I remember.
- I am Fire.
248
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,186
Have you ever been in a volcano?
249
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,213
I am in all the volcanoes.
250
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,781
And what about that forest fire?
251
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:38,219
- Yeah.
- That was a great day.
252
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,264
- Yeah, Smokey the Bear sucks.
- Yeah.
253
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:43,964
- It's not his fault.
- I killed his parents.
254
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:45,922
He's just trying
to mend the hole
255
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,272
in his heart that I put there.
256
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,318
You're cool, yeah.
257
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:51,841
Quite so.
258
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,148
And you, Beavis,
259
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:57,238
are my special one.
260
00:11:57,325 --> 00:12:00,807
- Fire, fire!
- Fire.
261
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,548
Now, Beavis, listen to me.
262
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,812
I am going to command you,
263
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:10,468
and you will do
exactly as I say.
264
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:13,994
Yes, Fire, tell me what
to do, and I will obey, yeah.
265
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,083
Very good.
266
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:22,045
Now, Beavis, go to your school
267
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:25,266
and run four times
around the track.
268
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:29,052
That will be one mile.
269
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:31,315
Um, that's what
you want me to do?
270
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:34,231
Yes.
271
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,451
Okay,
I guess that's pretty cool.
272
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,758
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna run, yeah.
273
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,282
Now, be gone!
274
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:44,459
Fire, fire!
275
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,942
Yeah, fire.
Fire, yeah, fire.
276
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:56,123
Hey, Fire, I'm back.
277
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,735
Did you run
around the track four times,
278
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:03,347
completing a distance
of one mile?
279
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,872
- Yes, Fire, yes.
- I did as you command, yes.
280
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:10,964
Very good, my loyal servant.
281
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:15,142
So, Fire, um, why did you
command me to do that?
282
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,970
It was good exercise.
283
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,842
You needed it.
284
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,757
Well, I guess so.
285
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,281
I don't know.
I mean, if you say so.
286
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,981
Butt-Head
doesn't understand us, does he?
287
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,113
My special one,
288
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,987
what we have, what I am?
289
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,032
- No, he doesn't.
- Yeah, he sucks.
290
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,339
Yeah, let's burn him.
Yeah.
291
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:42,865
Hmm, perhaps, in good time,
292
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,127
but not today,
293
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:48,740
for I have for you
a second command.
294
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,177
Yes, command me.
295
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,788
Yeah, that first one
was just a warm-up. Yeah.
296
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,878
Look around you, Beavis.
297
00:13:55,965 --> 00:14:00,230
The streets of the city
are crawling with filth,
298
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,581
but you and I know
what to do about filth,
299
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,583
don't we, Beavis?
300
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:09,022
- Yes! Yeah!
- Yeah, fire!
301
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,937
I command you
302
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:14,288
to pick up all of the
plastic bottles in this alley
303
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,290
and put them in the recycling
304
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:21,077
and then the same
for the surrounding streets!
305
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:23,688
Really? Um, you command me
to do that?
306
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:26,996
- Obey me!
- Okay, okay. Yeah.
307
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,390
Yeah, fire. Okay.
308
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,566
Get this here.
309
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:34,308
Get one of these.
310
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,006
No, not the regular trash!
311
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,922
- The blue one!
- Okay, okay.
312
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,411
Beavis, here's a
little something
313
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:53,718
for you from Cale Dodds.
314
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,983
Yeah, this is country,
I can tell, yeah.
315
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:02,292
I can tell because he said
"down a two lane."
316
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,121
And there's, like, a story.
317
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,732
I think that's the guy
who makes "Family Guy."
318
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:11,040
I didn't know he was
a country singer, too, yeah.
319
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:19,483
Whoa, he's trying to score
at breakfast.
320
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,398
Yeah, and didn't work, yeah.
321
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,966
Well, you know, there's always
lunch and dinner.
322
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:31,147
Uh, okay, he's like,
"Okay, I can handle this."
323
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,933
Uh, hello, I'm country star
Cale Dodds.
324
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,109
I used to be a loser like you.
325
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:39,851
Uh, I mean, not like you,
exactly.
326
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,289
Yeah, you know what I mean,
um, I was in a band.
327
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:44,639
All the chicks liked me
and all that, you know.
328
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:47,903
I was nothing like you.
329
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,688
You're a loser.
330
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:54,301
He's like, you see,
your problem is this sweater.
331
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,303
Yeah, just get rid
of the sweater,
332
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,435
and that chick'll come
right over here
333
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,047
and get it on with you right
in the middle of Applebee's.
334
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:06,313
Uh, this is like
all those movies
335
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,532
where, like,
the good-looking cool guy
336
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,665
teaches the dork how to score,
337
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,754
and he, like, trains him.
338
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,843
Oh, yeah, yeah.
339
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:19,021
He's grooming him.
340
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,458
He's like, you know,
now that I paid for your meal,
341
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:22,696
why don't you come back
to my place
342
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,071
and try on some clothes for me?
343
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:26,855
Yeah.
344
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,683
He's gonna wind up
in a shallow grave.
345
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:36,038
They told us about these kind
of guys in health class.
346
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,432
All the warning signs
were there.
347
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,434
They may come across
as friendly at first.
348
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,653
They might even sing you
a country song.
349
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,221
But beware.
350
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,329
They might buy your breakfast,
351
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,181
but that breakfast isn't free.
352
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,636
Here's what happened
to a young man
353
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,227
who went home with Cale Dodds.
354
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,668
So, like, does this video mean
355
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,541
that if you change your shirt,
you'll score with chicks?
356
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,258
Yeah, that's ridiculous!
357
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,240
Because I have the coolest shirt
358
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:09,028
you could possibly have,
and I still don't score.
359
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:18,993
Uh, the only way he can score
360
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,821
is to go to a club
and sit around
361
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:24,217
and wait for a girl to trip
and fall over.
362
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,696
Yeah, maybe I should try that.
363
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,699
As soon as the director
says "cut,"
364
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,112
that hot girl's gonna
leave the dork
365
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,181
and go score with Cale Dodds.
366
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,664
And then the dork
is gonna go home alone,
367
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:40,233
put on a new shirt,
and spank his monkey.
368
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,235
Now that's a country song.
369
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,983
Um, okay, Fire, um,
so I picked up all the bottles.
370
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:57,206
- Very good.
- Very good indeed.
371
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,385
- Yeah, I guess it was fine.
- I don't know.
372
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:07,608
Beavis, are you ready
to obey my next command?
373
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,479
Yes, Fire, yes!
374
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,482
And something cool
this time maybe. Yeah.
375
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:15,616
I think you'll find this
very cool.
376
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:20,055
You could say
I was just getting warmed up.
377
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,408
Now, listen closely
378
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,237
to what you shall do.
379
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:31,153
- Yeah!
- I'm listening closely. Yeah.
380
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:35,375
You will go
and read "Call of the Wild"
381
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:39,248
and write
a two-page report on it.
382
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,294
Um, what?
383
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,774
Now do my bidding.
384
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:47,561
Use topic sentences!
385
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:51,782
Um, Fire, um, why are you
making me do this stuff?
386
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,524
You are my special one, Beavis.
387
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,352
Uh-huh.
388
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,039
And it's about time
you applied yourself.
389
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,749
It's one thing to screw
around in middle school,
390
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,622
but you are almost at the point
where it counts for colleges.
391
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,668
Oh, boy.
392
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:09,104
Now go
393
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:12,934
before I make it five pages!
394
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:15,719
Um, just wait here
a second. Yeah.
395
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,552
Um, did you know there's a fire
in the garbage back there?
396
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,250
Again?
397
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:27,557
Yeah, there it is.
398
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,168
What?
399
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:32,780
No, Beavis, no.
Stop him, Beavis.
400
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:36,305
The pain!
I'm being extinguished!
401
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,786
Punish him that dare...
402
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,963
Oh, please.
403
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:45,053
It doesn't have to be
two pages...
404
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,795
just three paragraphs.
405
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:52,321
Remember the M-80s.
406
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:56,238
So cold.
407
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,370
Thanks, kid.
408
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:05,508
And there was
so much left to burn.
409
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:10,209
Farewell, my special one.
410
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,953
That fire sucked.
411
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,304
Whoa, cool.
412
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,914
Yeah, fire!
413
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:24,962
Fire. Fire, fire!
414
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,774
Chirp.
29177
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