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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,450 --> 00:00:03,618 [?] 2 00:00:03,619 --> 00:00:05,520 Thanks, Jeannie, I'll be home early. 3 00:00:05,521 --> 00:00:07,555 Oh, master, be careful. 4 00:00:07,556 --> 00:00:09,724 Okay, I'm only gonna go down to the office. 5 00:00:09,725 --> 00:00:12,660 Oh, yes, master, but next week, you will be going to the moon, 6 00:00:12,661 --> 00:00:14,929 and I wish to instill in you a careful attitude. 7 00:00:14,930 --> 00:00:16,264 [CHUCKLES] 8 00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:19,217 Okay, I promise I'll stop at all the red lights. 9 00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:22,254 Oh, I'm sorry... 10 00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:23,922 [CHUCKLES] 11 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,623 Hey, what's the big idea? 12 00:00:25,624 --> 00:00:27,259 You just kissed me goodbye inside. 13 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,626 Did I? I forgot. 14 00:00:28,627 --> 00:00:29,827 Did you? 15 00:00:29,828 --> 00:00:31,530 Well, that's one thing about my kisses, 16 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,515 they always leave a lasting impression. 17 00:00:33,516 --> 00:00:35,567 Get inside. Go on, go on. 18 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:36,852 [SCOFFS] 19 00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:38,453 Ooh! 20 00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:43,325 Sister, you kissed my master and made him think it was me. 21 00:00:43,326 --> 00:00:45,626 For the last time, sister, you leave my master alone. 22 00:00:45,627 --> 00:00:47,162 He belongs to me. 23 00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:48,362 [GASPS] 24 00:00:49,732 --> 00:00:51,616 Do you think I don't know that? 25 00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:52,734 [SNIFFLING] Here I am, 26 00:00:52,735 --> 00:00:55,570 madly in love with my own sister's master, 27 00:00:55,571 --> 00:00:58,039 knowing I could never have him. 28 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,175 And you begrudge me one measly little kiss. 29 00:01:01,176 --> 00:01:02,377 [SOBBING] 30 00:01:02,378 --> 00:01:04,880 Oh, there's no charity in you, sister. 31 00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:08,633 Oh, I am sorry. I did not think of it that way. 32 00:01:08,634 --> 00:01:10,302 Oh, that's all right. Forget it. 33 00:01:10,303 --> 00:01:14,055 Did I hear you say he's thinking of going to the moon? 34 00:01:14,056 --> 00:01:16,858 Oh, yes, sister, and I am so happy for him. 35 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,778 It is the one thing he wants in this whole world. 36 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:22,079 Hm. Then he'd be furious 37 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,566 with anyone who tried to stop him. 38 00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:25,867 Hm? 39 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,652 I'm sorry, sister, I did not hear you. 40 00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:30,906 I said, I think you should try to stop him. 41 00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:33,241 Oh, no, sister, I would never think of doing that. 42 00:01:33,242 --> 00:01:35,577 I want him to do whatever will make him happy. 43 00:01:35,578 --> 00:01:36,795 [SIGHS] 44 00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,914 Well, that's the difference between us. 45 00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:41,333 You would let him go into unchartered space, 46 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,369 facing all sorts of unknown dangers. 47 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:46,604 While I, I would keep him at home. 48 00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:49,373 Safe, protected. 49 00:01:49,374 --> 00:01:52,644 Hm. But, then, he's your master. 50 00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,930 Do you really think it is that dangerous? 51 00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:58,533 The first man on the moon? Are you kidding? 52 00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:01,236 Why, his chances are only vech in vechnachi 53 00:02:01,237 --> 00:02:02,687 of coming back alive. 54 00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:03,655 [GASPS] 55 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,575 Vech in vechnachi? Oh, dear. 56 00:02:06,576 --> 00:02:08,326 Well, I wouldn't want to try to... 57 00:02:08,327 --> 00:02:10,061 To influence you, sister, 58 00:02:10,062 --> 00:02:12,948 but if I were you, I'd convince him to stay home. 59 00:02:12,949 --> 00:02:15,750 You are right. I will try. 60 00:02:15,751 --> 00:02:20,422 Oh, and, sis, I wouldn't mention that you talked to me. 61 00:02:20,423 --> 00:02:23,290 Well, you know how he feels about me. 62 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:26,545 He's liable to misunderstand my motives. 63 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:29,381 Oh, I understand. I will not say anything. 64 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:32,683 And I forgive you for kissing him. 65 00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:36,304 I had better go. Goodbye. 66 00:02:36,305 --> 00:02:37,722 Hmm. 67 00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:40,141 Oh, dear. 68 00:02:40,142 --> 00:02:42,777 Once a sucker, always a sucker. 69 00:02:42,778 --> 00:02:44,245 [?] 70 00:02:49,468 --> 00:02:51,585 [?] 71 00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:42,403 [?] 72 00:03:46,658 --> 00:03:48,726 [?] 73 00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,929 TONY: Now, gentlemen, if you'll notice on the left 74 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,764 is the crater Langrenus. 75 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:54,582 The landing site section has discarded that 76 00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:55,850 because of its depth. 77 00:03:55,851 --> 00:03:59,554 And the same goes for the, uh, crater Copernicus. 78 00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:01,790 Uh, that leaves us with the choice of three: 79 00:04:01,791 --> 00:04:04,258 The Sea of Storms, the Sea of Showers 80 00:04:04,259 --> 00:04:06,795 or the Sea of Tranquility. 81 00:04:06,796 --> 00:04:08,930 Excuse me, just a moment. 82 00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,652 [QUIETLY] Go home. Go home. 83 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,738 Major Nelson, whatever it is, can't it wait? 84 00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:19,040 I'll have to consider this later, miss. Uh, please, later. 85 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,108 Please, master, it is urgent. Later. 86 00:04:21,109 --> 00:04:22,410 SCHAEFFER: Major Nelson. 87 00:04:23,178 --> 00:04:25,246 [GRUMBLES] 88 00:04:25,247 --> 00:04:27,649 Ahem. This one's mine. Uh, I'm Major Healey. 89 00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:30,217 Would you like to tell me your troubles and telephone number? 90 00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:31,819 Hm? Oh, J... 91 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:32,987 Would you get out of here? 92 00:04:32,988 --> 00:04:34,188 But... But... 93 00:04:34,189 --> 00:04:35,589 I have to talk to him. Out. Out. 94 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,443 What was that last name? 95 00:04:39,444 --> 00:04:42,380 Uh, Miss... Miss... Miss Waff. 96 00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:43,798 Proceed, major. 97 00:04:43,799 --> 00:04:45,016 TONY: Yes, sir, of course. 98 00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:46,751 As I was saying, we have a choice 99 00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:49,286 between Storms, Showers and Tranquility. 100 00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:50,388 [CHUCKLES] 101 00:04:51,774 --> 00:04:54,041 Yes. Since our lowest orbital point 102 00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:55,794 will be over the crater Tycho, 103 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:59,697 uh, the best landing site would seem to be, um, 104 00:04:59,698 --> 00:05:02,534 "Do not go to the moon. It is too dangerous." 105 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,536 What was that, major? 106 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,871 He said, "Do not go to the moon. It's too dangerous." 107 00:05:06,872 --> 00:05:08,807 Could you speak up a little, Tony? Can't hear you. 108 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,675 That's what I heard, major. 109 00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:12,676 No, sir, I believe you understood me 110 00:05:12,677 --> 00:05:15,847 to say Tycho is too dangerous. 111 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:16,881 Oh. 112 00:05:16,882 --> 00:05:19,417 Could've fooled me. 113 00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:23,655 It did not work, sister. 114 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,223 He was showing movies of the moon, 115 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:26,958 and I could not even talk to him. 116 00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:30,161 Oh. That poor, brave fool. 117 00:05:30,162 --> 00:05:32,930 He doesn't realize what dangers there are. 118 00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,816 Listen to this, listen to this: 119 00:05:34,817 --> 00:05:38,319 "The moon-bound astronauts can expect searing heat, 120 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:42,574 sub-zero cold, dust craters miles deep." 121 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,442 Oh, that is terrible. 122 00:05:44,443 --> 00:05:46,661 Well, I will talk to him again when he gets home. 123 00:05:46,662 --> 00:05:47,795 Hm. 124 00:05:47,796 --> 00:05:50,331 I'm beginning to wonder how much you love him, sis. 125 00:05:50,332 --> 00:05:53,635 If it were me, I wouldn't waste a minute. 126 00:05:53,636 --> 00:05:55,152 But I cannot see him now, 127 00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:57,055 he is with Dr. Bellows and a general. 128 00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,657 Sis, what's more important? 129 00:05:59,658 --> 00:06:02,460 Embarrassing him a little or saving his life? 130 00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:06,347 What do you think I should do? 131 00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:08,482 Just leave it up to me, darling. 132 00:06:08,483 --> 00:06:12,437 You're long on devotion, but short on ingenuity. 133 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:13,822 No. 134 00:06:13,823 --> 00:06:14,956 [CHUCKLES] 135 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,590 I am sorry, sister, 136 00:06:16,591 --> 00:06:20,161 but I still do not trust you alone with my master. 137 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,462 [SCOFFS] 138 00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:22,764 What "alone"? 139 00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:25,533 You just said he's with Dr. Bellows and a general. 140 00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:29,987 Well, that is true. 141 00:06:29,988 --> 00:06:31,456 What are you going to do? 142 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,541 Mm. I just want to show him 143 00:06:33,542 --> 00:06:37,629 how dangerous the moon really is. 144 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,515 May I borrow your little soldier suit? 145 00:06:40,516 --> 00:06:42,250 What? Hm-hm. 146 00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,969 Oh. Oh, certainly. 147 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,091 [LAUGHS] 148 00:06:47,973 --> 00:06:49,957 So the consensus from all sections 149 00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:52,459 seems to point at the Sea of Tranquility. 150 00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:54,813 Specifically this little declivity here, 151 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,648 which you'll be able to see more clearly 152 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,349 on the blown-up stills. [MAGIC BOINGS] 153 00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:00,869 [ROARS] 154 00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:02,103 [YELLS] 155 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,124 Major Nelson, what's the matter with you? 156 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,493 "What's the matter with...?" Couldn't you see? 157 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,462 [TONY WHIMPERS] 158 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,864 It was nothing, sir, I thought I saw something peculiar 159 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:14,749 in the Sea of Tranquility. 160 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,266 And it made you yell? 161 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,755 Doctor, is he in shape to make this flight? 162 00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:23,174 I'm beginning to wonder about that myself. 163 00:07:23,175 --> 00:07:24,725 Can we continue this this afternoon? 164 00:07:24,726 --> 00:07:26,928 I have a little business I'd like to attend to. 165 00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:29,631 You certainly do, major, in my office. 166 00:07:29,632 --> 00:07:31,299 I'm booked up solid this afternoon. 167 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:35,102 We'll have to finish now. That is, if you can continue 168 00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:37,171 without going into a fit. 169 00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:41,359 TONY: Well, as I was saying, um, 170 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,745 this little... I think you'll notice this little declivity 171 00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:45,780 on the edge of the Sea of Tranquility. 172 00:07:45,781 --> 00:07:46,930 [MAGIC BOINGS] 173 00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:48,449 [WHISTLE TOOTING] 174 00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:49,767 [YELLS] 175 00:07:49,768 --> 00:07:53,254 What is it this time, major? Something else peculiar? 176 00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:54,622 SCHAEFFER: He's going to pieces. 177 00:07:54,623 --> 00:07:56,591 Well, proceed, major. 178 00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:59,961 I'm... I'm all right, sir. 179 00:07:59,962 --> 00:08:02,630 The Sea of Tranquility is definitely the landing site! 180 00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:06,768 Wait a minute, you don't have to yell, we can hear you. Boy... 181 00:08:06,769 --> 00:08:08,970 Was I shouting?! Sorry! 182 00:08:08,971 --> 00:08:10,772 You're still shouting. 183 00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:11,906 Sorry! 184 00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:14,658 [TRAIN RUMBLING] 185 00:08:14,659 --> 00:08:16,961 Precisely 0600 on the third day, 186 00:08:16,962 --> 00:08:19,197 the landing module will descend 187 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,282 into a 50-yard target perimeter! 188 00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:22,983 Doctor, will you look at that? 189 00:08:22,984 --> 00:08:24,185 I can't. 190 00:08:24,186 --> 00:08:26,320 The sight of a fine specimen like Major Nelson 191 00:08:26,321 --> 00:08:31,042 cracking up before my very eyes is more than I can bear. 192 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:33,594 On the northeast edge of The Sea of Tranquility... 193 00:08:35,998 --> 00:08:37,214 This is the good part. 194 00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,687 I don't know what Jeannie's trying to do 195 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,889 but I gotta stop her before Dr. Bellows is convinced 196 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:46,891 I'm completely off my rocker. 197 00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:49,326 ROGER: Yeah, you're supposed to be in his office right now. 198 00:08:49,327 --> 00:08:50,327 TONY: Yeah. 199 00:08:50,328 --> 00:08:52,463 Oh, no you don't, major, baby. 200 00:08:52,464 --> 00:08:55,499 I'm not through helping you yet. 201 00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:58,268 TONY: Hello? 202 00:08:58,269 --> 00:09:01,538 [NEW YORK ACCENT] I am sorry, we are unable to complete your call. 203 00:09:01,539 --> 00:09:05,443 Please deposit 15 cents for the first three minutes. 204 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,579 Oh, yes, just a moment. 205 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,197 Roger, give me 15 cents. 206 00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:11,265 What do you 15 cents for? Just give me 15 cents. 207 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,002 Miss, this is not a payphone. 208 00:09:14,003 --> 00:09:17,688 Then kindly move to a payphone and deposit 15 cents 209 00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:19,791 for the first three minutes. 210 00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,659 No, you don't understand. 211 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,328 You must've made a mistake. This is not a payphone. 212 00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:26,230 Now, would you put my call through, please? 213 00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:28,766 I am sorry, we are not allowed to engage 214 00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:31,302 in personal arguments with the customers. 215 00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:33,137 This is a recording. 216 00:09:33,138 --> 00:09:36,274 Yeah, but wait a minute, wait a minute. 217 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,476 I just had a fight with a recording. 218 00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:39,727 Fifteen cents, huh. 219 00:09:39,728 --> 00:09:41,145 Major Nelson. 220 00:09:41,146 --> 00:09:42,363 TONY: Yes? 221 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,964 BELLOWS: I asked you to go to my office 222 00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:45,533 from the screening room. 223 00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:47,535 Take it easy, sir, he's feeling a little shaky. 224 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:49,504 I am not feeling... I'm not feeling shaky. 225 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,040 I just dropped by my office to pick up papers before... 226 00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:55,043 Well, of course you're not feeling shaky. 227 00:09:55,044 --> 00:09:56,710 Of course not. Now, come along, 228 00:09:56,711 --> 00:09:58,413 we're gonna have a little examination 229 00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:00,131 and it'll be over just like that. 230 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,783 [THUNDER CRASHES] 231 00:10:01,784 --> 00:10:03,050 What's the matter, major? 232 00:10:03,051 --> 00:10:04,919 Huh? Oh, the... 233 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,021 The thunder startled me, sir. You hear the thunder, Roge? 234 00:10:08,022 --> 00:10:11,175 No, I'm still working out the 15 cents for the phone call. 235 00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:12,977 Thunder? 236 00:10:12,978 --> 00:10:14,345 [MAGIC BOINGS] 237 00:10:14,346 --> 00:10:16,014 [GUNSHOTS] 238 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:19,651 Well, there's not a cloud in the sky. 239 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:20,435 [GUNSHOTS] 240 00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:21,869 [GASPING] 241 00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:23,638 What's the matter? Did you hear it again? 242 00:10:23,639 --> 00:10:25,406 Uh, no, no, I'm fine. I'm fine, sir. 243 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,008 TONY: Just fine. Everything's fine. 244 00:10:27,009 --> 00:10:28,860 BELLOWS: Oh. Well, just relax. 245 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:31,428 He's feeling better already. Better, major? He's a wreck. 246 00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:33,564 I never saw a man go to pieces so quickly, 247 00:10:33,565 --> 00:10:35,566 and it happened like... Don't, don't, don't. 248 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:38,069 What's wrong? He was just gonna snap his fingers like this. 249 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,237 [THUNDER CRASHES] 250 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:40,804 Oh! Here, here. 251 00:10:40,805 --> 00:10:43,807 Well, the diagnosis is just a clear case 252 00:10:43,808 --> 00:10:45,343 of nervous disintegration. 253 00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,311 What's the matter? Excuse me, but I'm sorry, 254 00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:49,546 I'll have to inform General Schaeffer. 255 00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:52,116 Well, they won't put you through unless you have 15 cents. 256 00:10:52,117 --> 00:10:53,450 What? Fifteen cents. 257 00:10:53,451 --> 00:10:55,687 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 258 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,238 ROGER: What's the matter with me anyhow? 259 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,256 General? Oh, it... 260 00:10:59,257 --> 00:11:02,560 It pains me to say this but, uh, I'm afraid 261 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,329 we'll have to replace Major Nelson on the moon shot. 262 00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,498 Sir, if you just give me a couple hours sleep, 263 00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:10,768 I could go home, I'd feel fine in the morning, really, I would. 264 00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:12,636 Yes, general. 265 00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:13,637 [GONG RESONATING] 266 00:11:13,638 --> 00:11:14,822 [?] 267 00:11:14,823 --> 00:11:17,075 ROGER: Oh. Wait. Wait. 268 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,442 Tell me what to do. Easy. 269 00:11:18,443 --> 00:11:19,743 No, no, no, easy. Easy. 270 00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:29,470 My master is really not going to the moon? 271 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,521 [CHUCKLES] The way he's been acting, darling, 272 00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:33,674 not a chance. 273 00:11:33,675 --> 00:11:36,561 I hope we are doing the right thing. 274 00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:38,162 Oh, don't bother to thank me, darling, 275 00:11:38,163 --> 00:11:40,598 it was a labor of love. 276 00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:43,017 Oh, but I do appreciate your help. 277 00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,237 My goodness, I never would've had the courage to do it myself. 278 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:48,138 Just remember, darling, no matter what he says, 279 00:11:48,139 --> 00:11:49,941 it's for his own good. 280 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,042 [DOOR OPENING] Oh. There he is. 281 00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:54,962 Oh, dear, I hope he is not too angry. 282 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:58,699 Well, uh, don't tell him I had anything to do with it. 283 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:00,334 I don't want any credit. 284 00:12:00,335 --> 00:12:03,121 But he should know what a favor you have done him. 285 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,989 No! No, no, you see, darling, I'm... 286 00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:07,925 I'm not even supposed to be here. 287 00:12:07,926 --> 00:12:10,694 My goodness, if my real master found out, 288 00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:11,846 he'd kill me. 289 00:12:11,847 --> 00:12:16,700 Oh. And you came here just to help me. 290 00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:18,402 You know, sister, I never realized 291 00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:21,055 what a really good friend you are. 292 00:12:21,056 --> 00:12:22,756 Yes, 293 00:12:22,757 --> 00:12:25,309 well, goodbye, sucker. 294 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:28,062 I mean... Sister. Sister. 295 00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:32,316 [?] 296 00:12:32,317 --> 00:12:34,451 It is for your own good. It is for your own good. 297 00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:35,920 Oh, thanks, thanks a lot. 298 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,322 But It is for your own good. I'm not going to the moon. 299 00:12:38,323 --> 00:12:39,690 They've replaced me. 300 00:12:39,691 --> 00:12:41,626 Yes, master, for your own good. 301 00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:43,711 TONY: The General thinks I'm a ding-a-ling. 302 00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,396 They might put me in the statistics section. 303 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:48,499 Yes, master, for your own good. Don't say that again! 304 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,067 Sorry, this time you've gone too far. 305 00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:51,201 It's over, finished. 306 00:12:52,804 --> 00:12:54,672 Ha-ha. That's it, baby, 307 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,725 victory. 308 00:12:57,726 --> 00:12:59,143 How could you do this to me? 309 00:12:59,144 --> 00:13:00,544 Ever since I got in the Air Force, 310 00:13:00,545 --> 00:13:02,680 I've been dreaming of making a moon shot and why... 311 00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:04,615 But, master, it was for your own... 312 00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:07,184 Don't you ever say that again. Not ever. Ever. 313 00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:08,886 Well, it is too dangerous. 314 00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:10,688 You're protecting me now. Okay. 315 00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:12,740 Do not thank me, master, it was a labor of love. 316 00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:15,159 Huh? Well, I appreciate your concern, but understand 317 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,861 that I can't go on with this anymore. 318 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,829 Oh, no, master, you must understand. 319 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:21,565 If you land on the moon, you must expect searing heat, 320 00:13:21,566 --> 00:13:23,734 freezing cold, dust craters... 321 00:13:23,735 --> 00:13:25,235 Jeannie, please. 322 00:13:25,236 --> 00:13:26,637 Your chances of coming back alive 323 00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:28,506 are only vech in vechnachi. 324 00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,708 Vech and vechnachi? 325 00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:33,544 That is Persian for one in a 1000. 326 00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,779 Jeannie, don't you understand? 327 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,549 Everything you're thinking of, all the dangers and everything, 328 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,351 that NASA has taken these into account. 329 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:42,686 Oh, yes, master, but they're only mortals, I am... 330 00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:46,157 It's called "technology." Technology. 331 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,459 Technology? Mm-hm. 332 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,361 Is that a new kind of magic? 333 00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,596 [CHUCKLES] 334 00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:54,965 Jeannie, will you help me? 335 00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:56,300 Please? Well, I do not know. 336 00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:59,070 Please? Please, help me. 337 00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:01,505 May I blink you an extra pair of long underwear? 338 00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:05,209 [CHUCKLES] Yeah, two if you want. 339 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,445 And will you promise not to step in any dust craters? 340 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:10,281 I promise, cross my heart. 341 00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:11,615 All right, I will help you. 342 00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,451 Good. Let's go. 343 00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:16,320 Can you get everything straight? 344 00:14:16,321 --> 00:14:18,455 Oh, yes, master. Everything's under control. 345 00:14:18,456 --> 00:14:19,823 I'll be with you later, sergeant, 346 00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:22,226 I have this experiment to do. 347 00:14:22,227 --> 00:14:23,627 Now, were you ready, major? 348 00:14:23,628 --> 00:14:25,562 Yes, sir, quite ready. Good. 349 00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:28,132 All right. 350 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,034 Here we go. 351 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,436 [EXPLOSIONS, GUNSHOTS ON RECORD PLAYER] 352 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,793 [TRAIN WHEELS CLANKING ON RECORD PLAYER] 353 00:14:39,794 --> 00:14:41,295 Extraordinary. 354 00:14:41,296 --> 00:14:43,063 Absolutely extraordinary. 355 00:14:43,064 --> 00:14:46,266 Why, it's the most remarkable recovery I've ever seen. 356 00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:48,068 You've been sitting there for two hours. 357 00:14:48,069 --> 00:14:50,971 Well, you must have nerves of steel, major. 358 00:14:50,972 --> 00:14:53,573 Hello, Dr. Bellows, are you listening to records? 359 00:14:53,574 --> 00:14:56,276 Records? Don't be ridiculous. Here, you've got to hear this. 360 00:14:56,277 --> 00:14:58,712 You've got to hear this experiment. Wait a minute. 361 00:14:58,713 --> 00:15:00,514 Alrighty. Now, listen intently. 362 00:15:00,515 --> 00:15:03,984 [EXPLOSIONS, LOUD CLANKING ON RECORD PLAYER] 363 00:15:03,985 --> 00:15:05,952 [SCREAMS] 364 00:15:05,953 --> 00:15:07,421 Major. 365 00:15:07,422 --> 00:15:10,590 Major. Major, I want you to go and get General Schaeffer. 366 00:15:10,591 --> 00:15:12,826 I want him to hear this. 367 00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:15,062 Major Healey. [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 368 00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:17,231 Oh, never mind. 369 00:15:21,836 --> 00:15:22,903 [LAUGHING] 370 00:15:22,904 --> 00:15:24,238 Oh! 371 00:15:25,806 --> 00:15:27,607 You were wonderful, master. 372 00:15:27,608 --> 00:15:29,776 [LAUGHING] I was, wasn't I? 373 00:15:31,512 --> 00:15:34,348 [SIGHS] Well. 374 00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:36,550 It's a little dumpy. 375 00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:38,452 Like my sister. 376 00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:40,955 Well, now that I'm finally rid of her, 377 00:15:40,956 --> 00:15:42,857 I can fix this place up. 378 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:45,025 Ah! 379 00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:48,112 Whoa. Ha-ha! 380 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,547 Oh, hello, sister. 381 00:15:50,548 --> 00:15:51,899 Uh, 382 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,651 what is this doing here? 383 00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,335 [LAUGHS] 384 00:15:55,336 --> 00:15:58,322 A little present. What are you doing here? 385 00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:00,992 Why should I not be here? This is my home. 386 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:04,311 Oh, yes, yes, but... But didn't he throw you out 387 00:16:04,312 --> 00:16:07,248 when you had him replaced on the moon flight? 388 00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:09,350 Oh, that. 389 00:16:09,351 --> 00:16:11,452 [CHUCKLES] Well, he was not replaced after all. 390 00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:13,120 You see, my master explained to me 391 00:16:13,121 --> 00:16:15,456 that NASA has a new kind of magic 392 00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:18,676 that takes care of all the dangers in outer space 393 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:19,910 Ha. 394 00:16:19,911 --> 00:16:21,846 A new kind of magic. 395 00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:22,630 Hm. 396 00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:25,099 It is called technology. 397 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,716 Oh, brother. 398 00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,553 And so you fixed everything up? 399 00:16:29,554 --> 00:16:32,156 Yes, and my master is leaving in two days. 400 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,891 Is that not wonderful? 401 00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:35,992 Oh, scrumptious. 402 00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:39,947 Well, I better be going. I have my work cut out for me. 403 00:16:39,948 --> 00:16:42,983 Oh, sister, why do you not stay for a few days? 404 00:16:42,984 --> 00:16:46,237 Oh, no, sis, thank you, I don't want to put you out. 405 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,854 You would not be putting me out. 406 00:16:47,855 --> 00:16:49,956 Oh, yes, I will. 407 00:16:49,957 --> 00:16:51,525 Ta-ta. 408 00:16:54,829 --> 00:16:57,665 What'd she mean by that? 409 00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:00,134 Yes, I'll have that information for you immediately. 410 00:17:00,135 --> 00:17:02,636 Well, gentlemen, there's one new detail. 411 00:17:02,637 --> 00:17:04,588 That was the propulsion section. 412 00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:06,356 There's been a change 413 00:17:06,357 --> 00:17:09,176 in the weight displacement ratio in the capsule. 414 00:17:09,177 --> 00:17:11,929 Instead of the usual 50 pounds leeway, we now have 20. 415 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:14,290 Well, there goes my lucky paperweight. 416 00:17:16,518 --> 00:17:19,320 They want our last-minute weight figures. 417 00:17:19,321 --> 00:17:21,155 TONY: Well, that shouldn't be any problem. 418 00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:23,707 I don't think we could've gained weight this last week. 419 00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:26,743 Well, speak for yourself, I had a pretty big breakfast. 420 00:17:26,744 --> 00:17:28,446 Well, gentlemen, shall we go? 421 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,613 Yes, sir. 422 00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:31,782 [?] 423 00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:40,124 A hundred and... Wait. Hold it, sir. 424 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,692 Here, take this. 425 00:17:42,693 --> 00:17:45,329 A hundred and seventy-five. 426 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,464 Right on the nose. Yes, right on the nose, 427 00:17:47,465 --> 00:17:49,933 a hundred and seventy-five, no change there. 428 00:17:49,934 --> 00:17:51,435 Uh, Major Nelson? Yes. 429 00:17:54,489 --> 00:17:58,091 Last chance, baby, better make it good. 430 00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:00,494 Ooh. 431 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,617 It'll be a hundred and eighty-one and a quarter, sir. 432 00:18:07,618 --> 00:18:10,053 Oops. Excuse me. 433 00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:11,655 Yeah. Uh... 434 00:18:11,656 --> 00:18:13,290 Major Nelson. Yes, I'm sorry. 435 00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:16,126 If you fidget, the scale won't register properly. 436 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,127 Yes. 437 00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:19,663 A hundred and ninety. 438 00:18:19,664 --> 00:18:22,833 BELLOWS: Oh, Major, you gained 10 pounds since the last weigh-in. 439 00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:25,519 I couldn't weigh 190, sir. The scale must be broken. 440 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,187 No, it's not, it worked perfect for me. 441 00:18:27,188 --> 00:18:28,755 Roger. 442 00:18:28,756 --> 00:18:31,891 Well, even if it's correct, the situation isn't critical. 443 00:18:31,892 --> 00:18:33,694 You still have 10 pounds leeway. 444 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:34,761 Oh, good. 445 00:18:34,762 --> 00:18:35,862 Let me see if it's broken. 446 00:18:35,863 --> 00:18:37,163 Roge, it's all right. 447 00:18:37,164 --> 00:18:40,066 On second though, major, let's try it again. 448 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,519 Yes, let's try it. 449 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,403 [MAGIC BOINGS] 450 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,557 Two hundred and five? 451 00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,994 Why, Major, you're over the limit. 452 00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:52,262 Well, if I gained 20 pounds, obviously, it would show, 453 00:18:52,263 --> 00:18:53,930 wouldn't it, sir? 454 00:18:53,931 --> 00:18:55,199 Well, that's true. 455 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,535 Could I get weighed on another scale? 456 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,952 Yes, in my office. 457 00:18:58,953 --> 00:19:00,220 Come along as soon as you can. 458 00:19:00,221 --> 00:19:02,656 Yes, sir. Better lay off the sweets. 459 00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:07,711 Two hundred and five pounds. Shame, shame, shame. 460 00:19:07,712 --> 00:19:09,780 How much do you weigh, Dr. Bellows? 461 00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:10,781 Uh, what? 462 00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:16,086 No matter which scale you use, it will register the same. 463 00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:19,423 What do you think you're doing? I thought I explained it to you. 464 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:20,624 Well, I have changed my mind. 465 00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:22,193 It is much too dangerous for you. 466 00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:23,427 I will not let you go. 467 00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:25,796 Look, I don't have time to go into this. 468 00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:28,765 I'm your master and I order you to undo whatever you've done. 469 00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:31,335 Oh, please do not order me. 470 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:34,137 Well, I'm your master and I order you now. Now. 471 00:19:34,138 --> 00:19:36,407 Oh, I wish I were not such an obedient genie. 472 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,375 Oh, brother. 473 00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:41,378 Here, take this, and it will put your weight back to normal. 474 00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:42,446 Are you sure? 475 00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:43,747 Mm-hm. 476 00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:46,283 [?] 477 00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:49,186 [GAGGING] 478 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:54,191 What've you done to me? I'm enormous. 479 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,760 I am sorry, master, but it is for your own good. 480 00:19:56,761 --> 00:19:58,362 Now, wait a minute. You will thank me 481 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,147 when it is all over. I'll thank you? 482 00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:02,532 Yeah, I'll thank you. 483 00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:05,535 Jeannie, please be nice. 484 00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,475 [GIGGLING] 485 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,712 I can't understand what's taking him so long. 486 00:20:15,713 --> 00:20:18,448 He's the one who insisted the scale was wrong. 487 00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:21,218 Well, he always was a slow dresser. 488 00:20:26,357 --> 00:20:28,292 Major Nelson! [PANTING] 489 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,559 What happened? 490 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,860 You really put on a few. 491 00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:32,362 Yeah. Well, sir, 492 00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:35,732 something weird happened with my m... Metabolic rate. 493 00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:38,234 Just give me a little time in the lab. A couple of hours. 494 00:20:38,235 --> 00:20:39,803 Couple of hours? 495 00:20:39,804 --> 00:20:43,006 Why, it'll take you at least a year to get back to normal. 496 00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:45,008 May I sit down, please, sir? If you can. 497 00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:46,777 Come over here. Here. 498 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:47,844 Thank you. Sit. Yeah. 499 00:20:47,845 --> 00:20:49,045 Well, I... 500 00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:50,213 Oh, no! Oh! 501 00:20:50,214 --> 00:20:52,048 Easy, now. Easy. 502 00:20:52,049 --> 00:20:55,652 Get him up. Major Healey, can't you try? 503 00:20:55,653 --> 00:20:57,487 Oh, he's heavy, heavy, heavy. 504 00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:59,723 Hey, haven't you ever heard about the Air Force Diet? 505 00:20:59,724 --> 00:21:01,991 There's no question of you going on the moon shot. 506 00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:03,860 The capsule would never get off the ground. 507 00:21:03,861 --> 00:21:06,330 Sir, this is just temporary. If you give me a little time... 508 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:10,133 Back into the examination room and stay there, major. 509 00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:13,570 General Schaeffer will want to see this. 510 00:21:14,639 --> 00:21:16,206 Oh. Jeannie's done it this time. 511 00:21:16,207 --> 00:21:19,776 She's done it this time. I'm finished, I'm washed up. 512 00:21:21,078 --> 00:21:22,846 Whoa! [WOMAN SCREAMING] 513 00:21:22,847 --> 00:21:24,381 Oh. 514 00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:26,783 [?] 515 00:21:26,784 --> 00:21:29,386 Examination room's over here, Tony. 516 00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:30,954 Whoa, it's... It's. 517 00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:31,921 Whoa. 518 00:21:37,895 --> 00:21:39,863 Well, it's shocking, Major Nelson, 519 00:21:39,864 --> 00:21:41,197 absolutely shocking. 520 00:21:41,198 --> 00:21:42,899 I mean, I knew my sister was dumb, 521 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,902 but I had no idea she was that dumb. 522 00:21:45,903 --> 00:21:47,471 I put up with this for a long time, 523 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,105 but this time, we've had it. 524 00:21:49,106 --> 00:21:51,408 I'm through. 525 00:21:51,409 --> 00:21:53,127 Through, absolutely through. 526 00:21:53,128 --> 00:21:55,228 Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor sis. 527 00:21:55,229 --> 00:21:57,348 But I can't say I blame you. 528 00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,432 Say, if you're in the market for a master, 529 00:21:59,433 --> 00:22:01,719 maybe we could work a little something out, huh? 530 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,571 Mm. I thought you'd never ask. Kiss me. 531 00:22:04,572 --> 00:22:06,373 Uh, w... No, not now. 532 00:22:06,374 --> 00:22:07,807 Would you blink me skinny? 533 00:22:07,808 --> 00:22:09,776 I can't go around kissing you like this. 534 00:22:09,777 --> 00:22:11,811 You've got a point. 535 00:22:11,812 --> 00:22:13,713 Oh, that's better. 536 00:22:13,714 --> 00:22:15,115 [BOTH LAUGHING] 537 00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:16,116 Mm. 538 00:22:16,117 --> 00:22:17,817 [SNAPPING FINGERS] 539 00:22:19,988 --> 00:22:21,205 Got ya! Oh! 540 00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:22,623 What is...? 541 00:22:22,624 --> 00:22:23,623 [MAGIC BOINGS] 542 00:22:23,624 --> 00:22:25,425 No, her eyes, you idiot! 543 00:22:25,426 --> 00:22:26,693 Get her in the closet. 544 00:22:26,694 --> 00:22:29,413 I don't want to go in with her. [SCREAMING] 545 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,430 You won't believe it, sir, 546 00:22:30,431 --> 00:22:33,533 but he must weight at least 300 pounds. 547 00:22:33,534 --> 00:22:34,868 What happened to the door? 548 00:22:34,869 --> 00:22:37,070 That's what I've been trying to tell you, general. 549 00:22:37,071 --> 00:22:39,139 He couldn't get through it. 550 00:22:42,910 --> 00:22:43,944 Oh, hello, sir. 551 00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:47,247 Who weighs 300 pounds? 552 00:22:47,248 --> 00:22:49,749 Major Nelson, you're... You're skinny. 553 00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:51,818 Oh, well, thank you very much, sir. 554 00:22:51,819 --> 00:22:54,120 Perhaps I should go on a weight-gaining diet? 555 00:22:54,121 --> 00:22:56,323 Don't be ridiculous, not 10 minutes ago, 556 00:22:56,324 --> 00:22:57,924 you were gargantuan. 557 00:22:57,925 --> 00:22:59,759 Dr. Bellows. Well, he was, sir. 558 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,428 The first time he stepped on the scale, 559 00:23:01,429 --> 00:23:02,663 he was 10 pounds overweight. 560 00:23:02,664 --> 00:23:04,431 And the next time he stepped on the scale, 561 00:23:04,432 --> 00:23:06,266 he was 20 pounds overweight. 562 00:23:06,267 --> 00:23:07,434 What scale is that, sir? 563 00:23:07,435 --> 00:23:09,203 Why, the scale right... 564 00:23:10,938 --> 00:23:14,040 Dr. Bellows, I think you and I had better have a little talk. 565 00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:15,875 Oh, not with me, with him, sir. 566 00:23:15,876 --> 00:23:18,745 He's the one who's gaining and losing hundreds of pounds. 567 00:23:18,746 --> 00:23:20,847 First you tell me that Major Nelson 568 00:23:20,848 --> 00:23:22,916 has had a complete nervous collapse. 569 00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:26,186 Then you tell me he's made a remarkable recovery. 570 00:23:26,187 --> 00:23:28,622 Then you tell me that he weighs 300 pounds! 571 00:23:28,623 --> 00:23:31,358 And now I find him looking exactly like he always does. 572 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,728 What exactly have you against Major Nelson, doctor? 573 00:23:34,729 --> 00:23:36,663 BELLOWS: Nothing, General Schaeffer. 574 00:23:36,664 --> 00:23:37,831 It's only that I'm trying... 575 00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:43,020 Come on out, Roge. Come on. 576 00:23:45,973 --> 00:23:48,458 [YELLS] 577 00:23:48,459 --> 00:23:50,177 [CRASHING] 578 00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:51,411 Roger. 579 00:23:51,412 --> 00:23:53,213 Shh. 580 00:23:57,635 --> 00:23:59,853 [?] 581 00:23:59,903 --> 00:24:04,453 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41652

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