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1
00:00:03,119 --> 00:00:05,886
[?]
2
00:00:10,743 --> 00:00:11,676
[SIREN BLARES]
3
00:00:24,123 --> 00:00:26,892
Can I see your license, please.
4
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,559
What's the problem, officer?
5
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,895
No problem,
6
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:33,648
except you were going 30 miles
an hour in a 20-mile zone.
7
00:00:33,649 --> 00:00:36,351
Twenty-mile zone?
We didn't see any sign.
8
00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:39,804
It's right on that
"Welcome to Clarkston" sign,
9
00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:41,656
plain as the nose on your face.
10
00:00:41,657 --> 00:00:43,575
Where is the
"Welcome to Clarkston" sign?
11
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,894
Right behind that big oak tree.
12
00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:53,551
The fine will be $25.
13
00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:56,121
Wouldn't it be easier
to just put up a toll gate?
14
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,122
Couldn't do that, son.
15
00:00:58,123 --> 00:00:59,403
That wouldn't be legal.
16
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:02,143
You can just mail it in,
17
00:01:02,144 --> 00:01:03,778
or you can hang around here
for a week
18
00:01:03,779 --> 00:01:05,464
if you want to plead not guilty.
19
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,048
No, thanks. No, thanks.
20
00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:09,050
Any place I can get
some gas around here?
21
00:01:09,051 --> 00:01:11,953
Yeah, I guess old Ev's open.
22
00:01:11,954 --> 00:01:14,055
Ninety-five cents
a gallon for gas.
23
00:01:14,056 --> 00:01:16,191
Ninety-five cents
a gallon?
24
00:01:16,192 --> 00:01:17,943
But he gives trading stamps.
25
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:19,094
Trading stamps?
26
00:01:19,095 --> 00:01:20,216
Shut up, Roger.
27
00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:22,363
Thank you, officer.
28
00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:25,767
[?]
29
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,516
Sorry.
30
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,517
Who tapped us, Thelma?
31
00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:01,853
Strangers, Edgar.
32
00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:03,154
We're in luck.
33
00:02:03,155 --> 00:02:04,622
[GROANING]
34
00:02:05,691 --> 00:02:06,925
[SCREAMS]
35
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:10,178
You maniacs!
36
00:02:10,179 --> 00:02:12,581
You hot rodders!
37
00:02:12,582 --> 00:02:16,735
Just look what you've done
to my husband.
38
00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:20,488
Lady, I barely touched the car.
39
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,866
What happened, Thelma?
40
00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,201
It was them.
41
00:02:33,202 --> 00:02:35,670
They just came barreling
right into us.
42
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:36,871
Barreling into you?
43
00:02:36,872 --> 00:02:39,558
Wait a minute,
that's an out-and-out lie.
44
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,726
Cool it, Roge,
let's get out of this burg.
45
00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:42,861
Hold on, son.
46
00:02:44,263 --> 00:02:47,399
I don't know how you do things
in the big city,
47
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,401
but in Clarkston,
we don't hit and run.
48
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,069
You're under arrest.
49
00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,626
[?]
50
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,750
Master?
51
00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:14,652
Master?
52
00:04:14,653 --> 00:04:15,953
[RINGS]
53
00:04:19,024 --> 00:04:20,625
Major Nelson's office.
54
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:21,542
Hello, this is Dr. Bellows.
55
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:24,211
May I speak
to Major Nelson, please.
56
00:04:24,212 --> 00:04:25,297
Who is this?
57
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:28,083
This is...
58
00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:29,184
This is Sergeant Wiggins.
59
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,670
Do you know where
Major Nelson is, please?
60
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:33,238
That's what I want to know.
61
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:35,473
Didn't you say you were
in his office?
62
00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:37,475
Yes, but he is not here.
Do you know where he is?
63
00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:39,510
He went on a fishing tripwith Major Healey,
64
00:04:39,511 --> 00:04:41,262
but they should've
been back yesterday.
65
00:04:41,263 --> 00:04:43,515
Have him call me
as soon as you hear from him.
66
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:44,732
Yes, sir.
67
00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:46,917
And you have him call me
as soon as you hear from him.
68
00:04:46,918 --> 00:04:48,186
Sergeant...
69
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:51,189
is Major Nelson in the habit
of reporting to you?
70
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:54,709
No, sir.
But I would like him to be.
71
00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:01,416
Peculiar.
72
00:05:02,752 --> 00:05:04,219
[?]
73
00:05:06,555 --> 00:05:09,157
Officer, this is a frame-up.
That man wasn't hurt.
74
00:05:09,158 --> 00:05:11,126
Well, we'll let
the judge decide that.
75
00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:14,095
Wait a minute, I demand
a writ of habeas corpus.
76
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:17,015
Cool it, Roge.
You're gonna make it worse.
77
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:19,067
Don't worry,
I can handle these hicks.
78
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,101
And furthermore,
79
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,736
[SPEAKING LATIN]
80
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,642
All right now,
what's that supposed to mean?
81
00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:30,411
It means all of Gaul
is divided into three parts.
82
00:05:30,412 --> 00:05:32,564
He took
high-school Latin.
83
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,382
Now, you watch it, boy.
84
00:05:34,383 --> 00:05:36,884
We don't cotton no foreigners
around these parts.
85
00:05:38,487 --> 00:05:40,154
Inside.
86
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:44,608
Not you.
He was driving the car.
87
00:05:44,609 --> 00:05:47,345
Wait a minute, he's my buddy.
Where he goes, I go.
88
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,113
Suit yourself.
89
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,668
I thought you wanted to go
where he goes.
90
00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,553
I just did, and I hated it.
91
00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:57,756
I'll probably be able to
handle things out here better.
92
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,457
I'll call Jeannie.
93
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:02,143
I don't want Jeannie.
I want some justice.
94
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,244
Officer,
I believe I have a right
95
00:06:03,245 --> 00:06:04,896
to be brought up
in front of a judge.
96
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:07,781
All right,
now just hold on, son.
97
00:06:07,782 --> 00:06:11,252
You can't go hitting and running
at 8:00 in the morning,
98
00:06:11,253 --> 00:06:13,772
and expect folks to be
standing around waiting on you.
99
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:18,026
Soon as Elroy gets up
and gets hisself some breakfast,
100
00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:20,387
why, we'll take you up
before him.
101
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:22,864
Now you...
102
00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:24,432
Don't you leave town.
103
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,567
You're a material witness.
104
00:06:30,188 --> 00:06:31,689
Why don't you
let me call Jeannie?
105
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,157
She'll get you out with a blink.
106
00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:35,460
No, Jeannie will just
make things worse, Roger.
107
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,578
I'll be out of here, like that,
108
00:06:36,579 --> 00:06:38,996
as soon as I see the judge
and tell him what happened.
109
00:06:38,997 --> 00:06:42,333
Especially after he takes a look
at that phony victim.
110
00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:44,852
[GROANING]
111
00:06:47,923 --> 00:06:49,057
That's impossible.
112
00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:51,525
There is nothing wrong
with that man.
113
00:06:51,526 --> 00:06:53,061
Order in the court.
114
00:06:53,062 --> 00:06:54,679
Now...
115
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,014
In the case of
Crawford v. Nelson,
116
00:06:57,015 --> 00:06:59,317
trial is set for 10 a.m.
tomorrow morning.
117
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:02,103
Bail will be $100.
118
00:07:02,104 --> 00:07:03,871
Court is adjourned.
119
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,607
You had your breakfast yet, Sam?
120
00:07:06,608 --> 00:07:09,811
Yep, but I'll stop and
jaw with you a bit, Elroy.
121
00:07:09,812 --> 00:07:15,583
Your honor, I don't have $100.
I've got $29.95.
122
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:16,617
Well, I guess you'll have to
123
00:07:16,618 --> 00:07:19,304
enjoy our hospitality
until tomorrow.
124
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,623
How about my watch, here.
It must be worth at least $100.
125
00:07:24,459 --> 00:07:26,744
It tells the date, the time,
and the rela...
126
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,025
Relative humidity.
127
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:30,548
Real pretty.
128
00:07:32,801 --> 00:07:35,241
About the only thing
it don't tell is the time.
129
00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:39,040
It must have been broken
in the accident.
130
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,041
Roger!
131
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,475
Take him away, Joe.
132
00:07:41,476 --> 00:07:44,812
By the way, son. You're allowed
one phone call. Local.
133
00:07:44,813 --> 00:07:46,647
Thank you, sir, thank you.
134
00:07:46,648 --> 00:07:48,482
Who would I want to call
in this town?
135
00:07:48,483 --> 00:07:50,184
You could call me,
I'll be at the hotel.
136
00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:52,625
I'd love to hear from you.
137
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,090
Don't help me anymore,
I don't need your help!
138
00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:57,791
I don't need your help!
139
00:07:57,792 --> 00:07:58,725
Wait a minute...
140
00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:01,996
[?]
141
00:08:10,705 --> 00:08:12,206
Thank you, thank you.
142
00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:17,011
Oh, boy.
143
00:08:18,947 --> 00:08:23,184
[SLURRING] Hi, pal. I didn't...
I didn't know I had company.
144
00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:25,987
Hey, do you play checkers?
145
00:08:27,222 --> 00:08:30,057
Yeah, I play checkers.
146
00:08:30,058 --> 00:08:31,139
I knew it.
147
00:08:32,361 --> 00:08:33,627
I knew it.
148
00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:36,230
Everybody plays checkers.
149
00:08:36,231 --> 00:08:39,500
Doesn't anybody drink anymore?
150
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:45,089
[?]
151
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:05,193
Hello, Dr. Bellows?
152
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,727
Major Healey?
153
00:09:06,728 --> 00:09:08,963
Where have you
and Major Nelson been?
154
00:09:09,748 --> 00:09:11,665
In jail?
155
00:09:11,666 --> 00:09:13,201
For a speeding ticket?
156
00:09:14,219 --> 00:09:17,221
Major Healey,
unlike outer space,
157
00:09:17,222 --> 00:09:18,790
there are speed limits
on the ground
158
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,993
which even astronauts
are to obey.
159
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,462
In all my years of driving,
I have never received a ticket.
160
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,597
And that is because I am
161
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,466
cautious and defensive
behind the wheel.
162
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:31,886
Not one ticket, major,
in over 20 years.
163
00:09:31,887 --> 00:09:36,557
An insurance fraud, eh?
164
00:09:36,558 --> 00:09:39,026
All right.
165
00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:42,180
Tell me where you are and
I'll be out there for the trial.
166
00:09:44,182 --> 00:09:45,516
Clarkston?
167
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:46,984
Where is that?
168
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,322
Never mind,
I'll find it on the map.
169
00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:52,823
See you at a quarter
to 10:00, sir.
170
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:55,092
Right, sir.
We'll be waiting for you.
171
00:09:55,093 --> 00:09:56,927
Major Healey,
where is my master?
172
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,929
I'll be through in a minute,
ma'am.
173
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:02,966
No, sir. Just a woman waiting
outside looking for her master.
174
00:10:05,136 --> 00:10:07,104
Yes, sir. In court.
See you in court.
175
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:09,407
Yes, sir, goodbye.
176
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:10,941
What are you doing here?
177
00:10:10,942 --> 00:10:12,443
Where is my master,
Major Healey?
178
00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:14,712
I know he is in trouble.
I must know where he is.
179
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:17,080
I'll tell you anything
you want, but that outfit...
180
00:10:17,081 --> 00:10:19,183
This is a small town,
the people can be stuffy.
181
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,084
In fact, I'm feeling
a little stuffy myself.
182
00:10:21,085 --> 00:10:22,085
I understand.
183
00:10:22,086 --> 00:10:24,488
Something for a small town.
184
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:28,442
Even in that outfit Clarkston
isn't ready for you.
185
00:10:28,443 --> 00:10:30,883
We better get out of here.
186
00:10:32,931 --> 00:10:35,533
Darling, we can't go on
meeting this way.
187
00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,421
[?]
188
00:11:01,343 --> 00:11:04,479
Oh, master, forgive me
for not getting here sooner.
189
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,814
What are you doing here?
What are you do...?
190
00:11:06,815 --> 00:11:09,033
Don't tell me, I know.
Bigmouth Roger.
191
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:11,168
Do not be angry
with Major Healey, master.
192
00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:12,336
He did not wish to tell me,
193
00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:15,873
but I threatened to turn him
into a toad.
194
00:11:15,874 --> 00:11:18,175
If he was any kind of friend
he'd be sitting on a lily pad
195
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:19,911
keeping his mouth shut.
196
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,346
TONY: I want you to go home.
Right now, immediately.
197
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,749
JEANNIE: No, master, I will
not go home without you.
198
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:28,402
It makes me cry to see you
in a dirty old jail cell.
199
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,542
They'll never believe this
at AA.
200
00:11:37,645 --> 00:11:38,726
Jeannie...
201
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:42,650
Go home,
and take everything with you.
202
00:11:43,819 --> 00:11:46,454
Welcome home, master.
203
00:11:47,856 --> 00:11:49,223
Well, you said everything.
204
00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:52,025
Yeah, I didn't mean me.
205
00:11:52,026 --> 00:11:53,794
Or him.
206
00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:58,366
I hope this hallucination
has a liquor cabinet.
207
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:00,668
Jeannie, you get us back
in that cell right now.
208
00:12:00,669 --> 00:12:02,470
But you're innocent.
I know it.
209
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,672
Yes, I know it too,
but I got to prove it in court.
210
00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:06,993
Now get us
back there right away.
211
00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:11,796
Nothing in there but
a one room apartment.
212
00:12:12,547 --> 00:12:14,398
Poor man.
213
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:19,554
Jeannie!
214
00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:21,475
I'm doing it.
One thing at a time.
215
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:27,078
Jeannie...
216
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,580
For heaven's sakes, Jeannie!
217
00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:32,733
Master, just because you have
to be in jail for one day
218
00:12:32,734 --> 00:12:34,885
does not mean
you cannot be comfortable.
219
00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:38,455
Yeah, quit bugging her.
Just relax.
220
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,557
Jeannie, I want you to get
everything out of here,
221
00:12:40,558 --> 00:12:42,693
except him and me.
222
00:12:42,694 --> 00:12:44,829
Everything, everything.
223
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,297
I am not appreciated.
224
00:12:50,118 --> 00:12:54,955
Boy, she sure takes you
at your word, doesn't she?
225
00:12:54,956 --> 00:12:57,258
Jeannie, the bars.
226
00:12:57,259 --> 00:12:59,193
The bars, put back the bars!
227
00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:02,563
That's what this country needs,
more bars.
228
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,282
Jeannie.
229
00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:11,872
Would you let me in, please.
230
00:13:11,873 --> 00:13:14,341
Sorry, pal,
I already got a roommate.
231
00:13:16,077 --> 00:13:18,162
Mr. Cashman,
this whole thing is a fraud.
232
00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:20,664
You've got to get Tony out.
Tony, Tony.
233
00:13:20,665 --> 00:13:22,599
This is your lawyer.
He is going to get you...
234
00:13:24,185 --> 00:13:26,003
Out?
235
00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:28,506
Let me in, let me in.
236
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:32,844
You city fellas sure do things
different, don't you?
237
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:35,046
Norman, I demand my rights.
238
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,180
Would you ask the sheriff
239
00:13:36,181 --> 00:13:39,350
to stop putting me
in here with drunks.
240
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:42,603
He's no drunk, Tommy.
That would be easy.
241
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,088
No, he's a
hit-and-run driver.
242
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:47,091
I'll be lucky to get him off
with five years.
243
00:14:00,872 --> 00:14:03,974
This court will come to order.
Sit down.
244
00:14:07,645 --> 00:14:09,046
We're going
to take up the matter
245
00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:11,582
of the People v. Nelson.
246
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,200
Is the prosecution ready?
247
00:14:14,218 --> 00:14:16,698
Ready, Your Honor.
248
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,456
Is the defense ready?
249
00:14:20,007 --> 00:14:21,325
I protest, Your Honor.
250
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:24,094
This trial was scheduled
for 10:00.
251
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:26,264
Why are we starting
an hour earlier?
252
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,765
I'm sorry about that, son,
but you see,
253
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:31,936
Sam over there has to go
crawdad fishing at 3.
254
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:35,405
But my lawyer and my material
witness aren't here yet, sir.
255
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,942
Joe...
256
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:38,943
Joe!
257
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,912
Go get Norman out of bed.
258
00:14:41,913 --> 00:14:44,514
I can't help your witness, son
but don't fret about Norman.
259
00:14:44,515 --> 00:14:48,536
He never was one
for getting places on time.
260
00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:51,071
What about Dr. Bellows?
He'll never make it now.
261
00:14:51,072 --> 00:14:53,340
Oh, yeah.
Jeannie, come here.
262
00:14:57,879 --> 00:14:59,880
Go find Dr. Bellows,
speed him up.
263
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:01,749
Yes, master. At once.
264
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,083
No!
Not that way.
265
00:15:03,084 --> 00:15:05,118
Don't blink,
just walk out normally.
266
00:15:05,119 --> 00:15:08,789
Oh, yes, master.
Anything you say.
267
00:15:13,795 --> 00:15:14,795
About time, Norman.
268
00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:16,597
I'm sorry, Elroy.
269
00:15:16,598 --> 00:15:17,765
Mildred's got a bug
270
00:15:17,766 --> 00:15:19,367
and I had to take the kids
to school.
271
00:15:19,368 --> 00:15:21,351
I haven't even
had breakfast yet.
272
00:15:21,352 --> 00:15:22,753
Hi, Sam.
Morning, Norm.
273
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,521
Morning, Thelma
274
00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:26,657
Suffering catfish, Edgar.
275
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:29,076
Is this what that
city slicker did to you?
276
00:15:29,077 --> 00:15:30,378
Your Honor, I object.
277
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:33,714
You can't object yet.
Trial ain't even started yet.
278
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,582
But he's supposed
to be my lawyer.
279
00:15:36,117 --> 00:15:37,968
Fella's right, Norman.
280
00:15:37,969 --> 00:15:40,370
ELROY: You can't go around
showing partiality, you know.
281
00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:43,657
Sorry, Elroy,
I mean, Your Honor.
282
00:15:43,658 --> 00:15:46,143
It's just that I had no idea.
283
00:15:46,144 --> 00:15:48,896
Well, just go on over
to your client.
284
00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:50,147
Do I have to?
285
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,366
'Fraid so.
286
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:56,753
Disgrace.
287
00:15:58,072 --> 00:15:59,673
Just disgrace.
288
00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:03,744
Mr. Cashman, you're supposed
to be defending me.
289
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:05,379
Relax, I'm always at my best
290
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:07,548
when I got
a really hopeless case.
291
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,429
ELROY:
Is the defense prepared?
292
00:16:10,885 --> 00:16:13,320
What's your plan of action?
293
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:14,622
You'll see.
294
00:16:14,623 --> 00:16:17,824
I got a couple of real slick
legal maneuvers up my sleeve.
295
00:16:17,825 --> 00:16:18,825
Good, good.
296
00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:19,993
Watch this.
297
00:16:21,463 --> 00:16:23,764
Your Honor, we plead guilty
298
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,733
and throw ourselves
on the mercy of the court.
299
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,301
Now wait a minute!
300
00:16:27,302 --> 00:16:29,937
That's a slick maneuver,
all right.
301
00:16:29,938 --> 00:16:31,488
[?]
302
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:02,253
Now I want to be sure
I understand you, young fella.
303
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:05,172
You want to dismiss Norman here?
304
00:17:05,173 --> 00:17:08,008
Yes, sir. I don't feel he has
my best interests at heart.
305
00:17:08,009 --> 00:17:10,544
Okay, Norman, you're relieved.
306
00:17:10,545 --> 00:17:12,563
You can go home
and have your breakfast now.
307
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:14,899
Thanks, Elroy.
308
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,101
Frankly, pal,
I think you did right.
309
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:19,003
I never could beat Sam,
over there.
310
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:21,005
Not since I married
his sister, anyway.
311
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:24,758
Well, good luck, Edgar.
312
00:17:25,726 --> 00:17:27,093
Thelma.
313
00:17:27,094 --> 00:17:28,695
See you home for dinner, Sam.
314
00:17:28,696 --> 00:17:31,176
Mildred's making a pot roast.
315
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,372
Well, son, that leaves you
without a lawyer.
316
00:17:38,373 --> 00:17:41,708
If it please the court,
I'd like to represent myself.
317
00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,477
Yes.
318
00:17:46,047 --> 00:17:49,032
Now, one more disturbance like
that and I'll clear the court.
319
00:17:51,285 --> 00:17:53,570
Sam, let's get on with this.
Call your first witness.
320
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:58,792
[WEEPING]
321
00:18:01,062 --> 00:18:02,262
What about Dr. Bellows?
322
00:18:02,263 --> 00:18:04,097
He is coming, Master.
323
00:18:04,098 --> 00:18:05,833
I did just what you said.
324
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,035
Good, good.
325
00:18:08,036 --> 00:18:09,036
What'd I say?
326
00:18:09,037 --> 00:18:10,804
You asked Jeannie
to speed him up.
327
00:18:10,805 --> 00:18:13,340
And that is exactly what I did.
328
00:18:14,943 --> 00:18:18,579
Okay, now, Thelma, you tell us
what you saw in your own words.
329
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:21,214
I'll try, Sam.
330
00:18:21,215 --> 00:18:23,116
Just take your time, Thelma.
331
00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:25,719
Thank you, Elroy.
332
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,288
That man there...
333
00:18:29,073 --> 00:18:30,390
Call me Tony.
334
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,712
Sorry, Elroy. Excuse me, Sam.
Go on, Thelma.
335
00:18:36,665 --> 00:18:38,849
You making fun in my court, son?
336
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:41,501
No, Your Honor,
I just felt left out.
337
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:47,107
You go on with
your testifying, Thelma.
338
00:18:47,108 --> 00:18:51,511
Well, Edgar and I were sitting
in the front seat of the car...
339
00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:53,447
[BLUBBERING]
340
00:19:07,629 --> 00:19:09,947
I see, yes.
341
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,943
If he sees, I'm going blind.
342
00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:15,920
[?]
343
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:26,379
Okay now, Burt, you...
You tell us what you saw.
344
00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:29,617
I seen exactly what Thelma did.
345
00:19:29,618 --> 00:19:31,785
There you are, Elroy,
a corroborating witness.
346
00:19:31,786 --> 00:19:32,786
No further questions.
347
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:34,455
TONY:
Well, I have some.
348
00:19:34,456 --> 00:19:36,624
What exactly did you see?
349
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,710
Like I said, I seen
what Thelma seen.
350
00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:42,830
I didn't understand one word
of what Thelma saw.
351
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:45,583
You better start
paying attention, son.
352
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:47,585
You're on trial here, you know.
353
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,587
Your honor, I insist...
354
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,721
Look, I gotta go, Elroy.
355
00:19:51,722 --> 00:19:54,108
Ain't nobody watching
the highway.
356
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,326
You're excused, Burt.
357
00:19:58,446 --> 00:19:59,679
Is that bad?
358
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:00,881
Ha!
359
00:20:01,516 --> 00:20:02,466
[?]
360
00:20:21,836 --> 00:20:22,836
[HORN HONKS]
361
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,010
Now, Major Healey...
362
00:20:31,011 --> 00:20:33,213
we drove into
the gasoline station...
363
00:20:33,214 --> 00:20:34,965
We drove into this
gasoline station...
364
00:20:34,966 --> 00:20:36,767
And there was
already a car there.
365
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,053
And there was another car
already there.
366
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:41,722
Major Healey, would you wait
until I phrase my question?
367
00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:43,840
I will wait until
you phrase the question.
368
00:20:43,841 --> 00:20:44,721
Thank you.
369
00:20:45,527 --> 00:20:46,610
Would you say
370
00:20:46,611 --> 00:20:48,812
I struck his car very hard
with my car?
371
00:20:48,813 --> 00:20:50,648
I'm sorry,
I don't understand that.
372
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,400
Would you say that I struck
his car very hard with my car?
373
00:20:53,401 --> 00:20:56,170
You struck his car
very hard with your car.
374
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,677
How hard did we strike his car?
375
00:21:06,347 --> 00:21:08,281
We hit it?
376
00:21:08,282 --> 00:21:09,683
He was driving.
377
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,838
All right.
378
00:21:14,839 --> 00:21:17,474
How hard would you say
I struck his car?
379
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:20,511
Oh, oh...
Just barely.
380
00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,813
Good, good,
now we're getting somewhere.
381
00:21:22,814 --> 00:21:25,816
Then that poor devil over there
382
00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:28,652
starts screaming and crying
and yelling,
383
00:21:28,653 --> 00:21:31,605
and then you said,
"Let's get out of this burg."
384
00:21:31,606 --> 00:21:33,324
Your Honor, I object.
385
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,526
You can't object.
He's your own witness.
386
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:37,094
I'm beginning to wonder.
387
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,012
If it please the court,
may I treat Major Healy
388
00:21:39,013 --> 00:21:40,213
as a hostile witness?
389
00:21:41,349 --> 00:21:43,417
Go right ahead, son.
390
00:21:43,418 --> 00:21:46,837
Thank you, Your Honor.
No further questions.
391
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:48,605
You idiot!
392
00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:54,745
Excuse me,
if you'll excuse me, sir.
393
00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:57,697
How was I?
394
00:21:57,698 --> 00:21:58,698
Where is Dr. Bellows?
395
00:21:58,699 --> 00:22:00,167
I do not know, master.
Shall I...
396
00:22:00,168 --> 00:22:02,102
No, no.
397
00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:03,904
Your Honor,
may I request a recess
398
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,606
until my medical witness
arrives.
399
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:07,474
Request denied.
400
00:22:09,093 --> 00:22:10,360
In that case, Your Honor,
401
00:22:10,361 --> 00:22:12,396
I'll have to change
my plea to guilty.
402
00:22:14,615 --> 00:22:16,867
There's only one person
in this courtroom
403
00:22:16,868 --> 00:22:19,203
who could prove my innocence,
and it's that man.
404
00:22:19,204 --> 00:22:22,204
TONY: And he seems very conveniently
prevented from testifying.
405
00:22:23,891 --> 00:22:25,242
[MAGIC BOINGS]
406
00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:26,510
[?]
407
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,017
Edgar! Oh, honey!
408
00:22:35,419 --> 00:22:36,453
Edgar...
409
00:22:38,056 --> 00:22:41,124
Are you all right?
Did you break anything?
410
00:22:41,125 --> 00:22:43,927
No, I'm fine, thanks.
411
00:22:47,982 --> 00:22:49,916
[LAUGHING]
412
00:22:49,917 --> 00:22:52,820
Your Honor, the defense rests.
413
00:22:52,821 --> 00:22:55,121
Elroy, I swear I knew nothing
414
00:22:55,122 --> 00:22:57,457
about this sneaky little
business here,
415
00:22:57,458 --> 00:22:58,725
and I intend to bring charges
416
00:22:58,726 --> 00:23:02,529
against Edgar here
for attempted fraud.
417
00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:06,133
Oh, knock it off, Sam.
We can't win them all.
418
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:08,051
Case dismissed.
419
00:23:09,904 --> 00:23:12,088
You just couldn't wait,
could you?
420
00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:14,491
You just had to be
a wheelchair hot rodder...
421
00:23:17,495 --> 00:23:20,029
Something tells me he's really
gonna need that wheelchair
422
00:23:20,030 --> 00:23:22,231
when she gets through with him.
423
00:23:26,503 --> 00:23:28,855
It's really gonna be great
to breathe free air again.
424
00:23:28,856 --> 00:23:30,523
Free? I still have
to pay my hotel bill.
425
00:23:30,524 --> 00:23:31,925
Let us go home, master.
426
00:23:31,926 --> 00:23:33,894
I have prepared
a great victory celebration.
427
00:23:33,895 --> 00:23:35,395
No, no, Jeannie.
No celebrations.
428
00:23:35,396 --> 00:23:36,396
I've had enough...
429
00:23:36,397 --> 00:23:38,098
Major Nelson.
430
00:23:38,099 --> 00:23:40,166
I don't know how to explain
to you what happened.
431
00:23:40,167 --> 00:23:41,834
I was driving along
when all of a sudden
432
00:23:41,835 --> 00:23:42,869
the car went berserk.
433
00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:44,237
Sure it did, colonel.
434
00:23:44,238 --> 00:23:46,406
That car just up
and took off by itself.
435
00:23:46,407 --> 00:23:49,075
But that's exactly
what happened.
436
00:23:49,076 --> 00:23:50,410
[?]
437
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:56,833
[?]
438
00:23:56,883 --> 00:24:01,433
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