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1
00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:03,185
[?]
2
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,092
You know, I really don't think
that's what I'm looking for.
3
00:00:11,093 --> 00:00:12,360
Well, what about this?
4
00:00:12,361 --> 00:00:14,229
Okay.
Heh.
5
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:16,097
Thank you.
6
00:00:16,098 --> 00:00:18,533
Yeah, I think this would be
more in line with what...
7
00:00:18,534 --> 00:00:19,867
What I had in mind.
8
00:00:19,868 --> 00:00:22,437
You know, something
kind of casual and subdued.
9
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:23,738
I'll take this.
10
00:00:23,739 --> 00:00:25,890
Shall I charge it?
Please, yes.
11
00:00:25,891 --> 00:00:28,193
Looks wonderful on you, master.
Oh, you like it?
12
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,062
It is just the thing
for Hollywood.
13
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,796
You don't think it's tight
at the shoulders?
14
00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:33,331
Oh, no, master.
It is just perfect.
15
00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:34,900
What are you doing
in my reflection?
16
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:35,901
Please take me with you.
17
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,802
I've only been
to Hollywood once.
18
00:00:37,803 --> 00:00:38,937
Yeah, once is enough.
19
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:40,705
Listen, I'm going
on Air Force business.
20
00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:43,008
Besides, Dr. Bellows will be
sharing a room with me.
21
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,209
I'll only be gone a week.
22
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:47,012
Oh, but it will seem
like a century, master.
23
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,713
Oh, I will miss you so.
24
00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:51,682
Get out. Oh, no.
25
00:00:53,802 --> 00:00:55,870
Major Nelson?
26
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,074
Major Nelson.
Yeah?
27
00:00:59,075 --> 00:01:01,909
Isn't that carrying personal
vanity a little too far?
28
00:01:01,910 --> 00:01:03,478
Just straightening out
my tie, sir.
29
00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:06,014
Ah, yes. Well, uh,
we'd better be moving along.
30
00:01:06,015 --> 00:01:08,416
Our plane leaves in an hour.
Yes, sir.
31
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,002
Goodbye.
32
00:01:11,003 --> 00:01:12,570
What'd you say?
Nothing. Nothing.
33
00:01:12,571 --> 00:01:14,839
Just getting ready. Thank you.
Can I wrap it for you?
34
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,208
No, no. Just charge it.
I'll... Thank you.
35
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,163
Gary, did you see that?
36
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,414
I sure did, Mr. Schlatter.
37
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:25,784
That's the most incredible piece
of magic I've ever seen.
38
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:29,504
Say, aren't you Gary Owens
of the Laugh-In show?
39
00:01:29,505 --> 00:01:32,374
Well, yes, I am. And this is
George Schlatter, our producer.
40
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:33,875
WOMAN:
Oh, really?
41
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:37,278
Oh, sock it to me.
Sock it to me. Sock it to me.
42
00:01:37,279 --> 00:01:39,280
Very good, miss.
Cute, cute.
43
00:01:39,281 --> 00:01:41,683
Could you excuse us, just...?
Oh, yeah.
44
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,752
Gary, listen,
we've got to get that girl
45
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:44,952
in the mirror
for Laugh-In.
46
00:01:44,953 --> 00:01:46,805
She's a gas.
Yes, she is.
47
00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,506
[?]
48
00:01:51,293 --> 00:01:53,227
[?]
49
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,426
[?]
50
00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:50,735
[?]
51
00:02:50,736 --> 00:02:53,404
Listen, I've got a meeting back
in the office in 15 minutes.
52
00:02:53,405 --> 00:02:56,124
I want you to wait here
and sign that girl for the show.
53
00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,460
Well, all right, Mr. Schlatter.
I'll do my best.
54
00:02:58,461 --> 00:02:59,610
Gary?
Uh, yes?
55
00:02:59,611 --> 00:03:01,379
Why isn't your finger
in your ear?
56
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:02,747
Oh, uh, yes.
57
00:03:02,748 --> 00:03:05,300
Okay, Mr. Schlatter.
I'll try to get her.
58
00:03:05,301 --> 00:03:06,518
For the show.
59
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,271
Yes, yes.
Uh, miss, excuse me.
60
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:12,557
Oh, no, excuse me.
61
00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:14,726
I was standing
in your reflection.
62
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,561
Oh, that's...
That's quite all right.
63
00:03:16,562 --> 00:03:18,596
By the way,
how would you like to appear
64
00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:20,282
on the Rowan & Martin Laugh-In?
65
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,201
Oh, well, thank you very much.
66
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,203
But I do not think
I could appear on television.
67
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,072
My master would not like it.
68
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,990
Did you say, "your master"?
69
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:31,025
Yes. Oh, Major Healey.
70
00:03:31,026 --> 00:03:33,912
Hi, Jeannie. Did Tony leave yet?
I wanted to say goodbye to him.
71
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,646
Hey, wait a minute.
72
00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:37,615
Aren't you Gary Owens
of the Laugh-In show,
73
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,000
with the thing with the ear?
74
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,802
Uh, yes, yes.
Yes, that's right.
75
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:43,170
Uh, and you, uh, must be,
uh, the girl's master.
76
00:03:43,171 --> 00:03:44,639
Is that right?
77
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,758
No, uh, we're...
We're just good friends.
78
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,426
Oh, I see.
Uh, we'd like to use her
79
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:50,345
on our Laugh-In television show.
80
00:03:50,346 --> 00:03:52,480
You want to do a sp...
81
00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:54,449
Well, actually, I'm her agent.
82
00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:58,320
Her agent? In, uh, that uniform?
83
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:01,239
Well, I...
I moonlight as an astronaut.
84
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,224
Actually, show business
is my first love.
85
00:04:03,225 --> 00:04:06,161
Why don't we talk about billing
and money and details like that?
86
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,096
Major Healey,
I cannot appear on a...
87
00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:09,781
Don't make him think
you're anxious.
88
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,499
Actually, uh,
she gets top billing.
89
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,350
We want
a fabulous publicity campaign.
90
00:04:13,351 --> 00:04:15,036
"Roger Healey presents
91
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:17,372
Jeannie under the personal
management of Roger Healey."
92
00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:20,091
No, it's too long. The name's
too long. We gotta change it.
93
00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:21,626
Uh, Jeannie is too long?
94
00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,978
No, Roger Healey's too long.
We'll change Jeannie too.
95
00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:25,379
Oh, I see. Well...
96
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:28,616
Major, we'll work these details
out in our West Coast office.
97
00:04:28,617 --> 00:04:30,218
I-I've got to go.
Jeannie,
98
00:04:30,219 --> 00:04:32,187
before I leave, one question.
99
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,222
How in the world did you do it?
100
00:04:34,223 --> 00:04:36,007
Oh, you mean, stepping
through the mirror?
101
00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:37,408
Yes.
Oh, it is very simple.
102
00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:40,044
I just cross my arms...
Well, actually... Actually,
103
00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:42,365
it's a...
It's a phony mirror.
104
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,233
Incredible.
105
00:04:46,234 --> 00:04:47,585
We better get outta here.
106
00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:53,775
That's incredible.
107
00:04:55,411 --> 00:04:58,112
[?]
108
00:04:58,113 --> 00:05:00,281
Uh, is this
the Los Angeles Times?
109
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:03,751
I would like to speak to
the entertainment editor. Mm-hm.
110
00:05:03,752 --> 00:05:06,353
Uh, is this
the entertainment editor?
111
00:05:06,354 --> 00:05:09,089
Uh, this is Roger Healey,
the Hollywood agent.
112
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:11,292
Heh. That's right.
I got a little scoop for you.
113
00:05:11,293 --> 00:05:12,894
You wanna take this down?
114
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:16,731
Princess Armena is going to star
in the next Laugh-In show.
115
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:19,600
You don't know who she is?
You don't know who I am?
116
00:05:19,601 --> 00:05:21,302
You don't know
who either one of us are?
117
00:05:21,303 --> 00:05:22,303
Where have you been?
118
00:05:22,304 --> 00:05:23,905
She's the biggest thing
in Baghdad.
119
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,373
She's the hottest thing since
Aladdin and his magic lamp.
120
00:05:26,374 --> 00:05:27,775
That's right, Armena.
121
00:05:27,776 --> 00:05:29,310
Be sure you get
that spelled right.
122
00:05:29,311 --> 00:05:32,831
That's H-E-A-L-E-Y. Right.
Nice talking to ya.
123
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,566
[HUMMING]
124
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:38,136
Okay, Jeannie,
you can come out now.
125
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,287
[?]
126
00:05:49,865 --> 00:05:51,933
Okay, sweetie, let's go.
127
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,234
I have been trying
to tell you, Major Healey,
128
00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:57,522
I am not going to Hollywood.
You're not going to Hollywood?
129
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,107
You're kid...
I discovered you.
130
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,892
I made you a princess.
You can't do that.
131
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:03,360
Think of it: Stardom, rich,
money, money, rich, stardom.
132
00:06:03,361 --> 00:06:05,897
This is my big chance.
I mean this is your big chance.
133
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:08,099
But I do not wish to be a star,
Major Healey.
134
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,634
I only wish
to be with my master.
135
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:10,901
Well, there you are.
136
00:06:10,902 --> 00:06:12,803
Tony's in Hollywood.
You could be with him.
137
00:06:12,804 --> 00:06:15,439
But I already asked him
to take me, and he said that...
138
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,075
That he would have
no time for me.
139
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,160
Well, that's, uh, because
he takes you for granted.
140
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,563
I mean, if you were a big star
with Hollywood at your feet,
141
00:06:21,564 --> 00:06:24,165
he would sit up and take notice.
Do you really think so?
142
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,800
Absolutely.
Do you want to be a...?
143
00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:28,253
Do you want to be a big star
and have Tony proud of you?
144
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,955
Well, I...
Or do you want Tony to be alone
145
00:06:30,956 --> 00:06:32,624
in Hollywood
with beautiful starlets
146
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:34,091
who are crazy about astronauts?
147
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,481
When do we leave?
Now.
148
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:42,884
I already made
the deal with Laugh-In.
149
00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:45,053
[?]
150
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,884
Yeah?
Major Anthony Nelson?
151
00:07:15,885 --> 00:07:17,118
Yeah, that's right.
152
00:07:17,119 --> 00:07:18,987
I'm Doug Reynolds,
Hollywood Chronicle.
153
00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:20,788
Oh, yeah. Well, how'd
you know I was here?
154
00:07:20,789 --> 00:07:22,624
Oh, it was in the NASA
press release.
155
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:24,959
See, I'm covering the arrival
of Princess Armena.
156
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,495
While waiting for her, I thought
I'd ask you a few questions
157
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:29,263
about your speaking tour.
Oh.
158
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:31,165
Oh, I'm sorry,
but, uh, all aspects
159
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,434
of Major Nelson's visit were
covered in the release.
160
00:07:33,435 --> 00:07:35,102
No personal interviews.
Yeah, but...
161
00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:37,405
I'm sorry,
but those are our orders.
162
00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:39,140
Major Nelson.
Yes. Excuse me.
163
00:07:39,141 --> 00:07:41,425
But just a few questions.
164
00:07:43,178 --> 00:07:44,612
Sheesh.
165
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:48,333
[?]
166
00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:56,106
Now, major, I've marked it
all down in this little book.
167
00:07:56,107 --> 00:07:58,543
The first place we're going
to see is Hollywood and Vine,
168
00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,345
uh, Grauman's Chinese,
then Disneyland.
169
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,512
Sir, you go without me.
170
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:03,147
I'm not much
of a hand at sightseeing.
171
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:04,716
I have a report to do.
Major, major,
172
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:07,017
that must be the princess
that reporter talked about.
173
00:08:07,018 --> 00:08:08,519
Oh?
MAN: Tell me, princess,
174
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,387
how long you figure
on staying in Hollywood?
175
00:08:10,388 --> 00:08:11,622
I'll answer the questions.
176
00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:14,592
That's Roger, R-O-G-E-R,
Healey, Healey.
177
00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:17,395
Excuse me. Uh, no more,
no more, gentlemen.
178
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:19,397
All right, one more picture.
One more picture.
179
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:21,699
Get the two of us together.
How's this? You got that?
180
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,267
Get the picture?
All right, that's it.
181
00:08:23,268 --> 00:08:25,736
We'll have a press conference
in my office a little later.
182
00:08:25,737 --> 00:08:28,089
We'll go up to the hotel room
right here.
183
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:31,142
Perhaps I can take a picture.
Amanda will be thrilled.
184
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,411
Put that down. I only want
a picture. I can't see her.
185
00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:35,279
Sir, you gave orders
not to be conspicuous.
186
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,447
That's strange.
187
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,316
That fellow there,
he looks exactly like...
188
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:39,467
Shall we go sightseeing?
189
00:08:39,468 --> 00:08:41,201
Well, I thought
you weren't interested.
190
00:08:41,202 --> 00:08:42,570
Tell me something, princess...
191
00:08:42,571 --> 00:08:44,338
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
192
00:08:44,339 --> 00:08:46,741
And maybe... Maybe to Grauman's
Chinese. What do you say?
193
00:08:46,742 --> 00:08:49,894
Oh, sir.
BELLOWS: Wait a minute!
194
00:08:49,895 --> 00:08:51,829
[?]
195
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,470
TONY: Uh, Roger Healey, please.
Yes.
196
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:01,272
[TONY CLEARS THROAT]
197
00:09:01,273 --> 00:09:04,175
Hello, Roger? Roger?
198
00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,494
Roger, what are you and Jeannie
doing in Hollywood?
199
00:09:06,495 --> 00:09:07,678
Can't talk to you now, T.N.,
200
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,380
I'm in the middle
of a press conference.
201
00:09:09,381 --> 00:09:11,249
Uh, who's T.N.?
202
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,334
And what is the press conference
all about?
203
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:16,136
T.N., big-time producer.
204
00:09:16,137 --> 00:09:17,538
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
205
00:09:18,973 --> 00:09:20,641
Look, I know
how badly you want her,
206
00:09:20,642 --> 00:09:23,243
but I... I couldn't let her go
for less than a mil.
207
00:09:23,244 --> 00:09:25,680
But I'll keep you in mind.
Okay.
208
00:09:25,681 --> 00:09:28,232
Nice talking to you.
Roger?
209
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:29,233
Roger?!
210
00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:34,105
Smile, major.
Cheese.
211
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:37,508
Uh, no more calls, doll.
212
00:09:37,509 --> 00:09:38,810
Didn't I tell you?
213
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,212
When the princess makes
her American television debut,
214
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,814
we'll have to beat 'em off
with clubs.
215
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:44,582
Didn't I tell you guys?
Oh. Heh.
216
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,534
[?]
217
00:09:49,738 --> 00:09:51,873
Are you going over that speech
of yours, major?
218
00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:54,775
Yes, sir. I'm just taking
a look at the notes.
219
00:09:54,776 --> 00:09:57,444
Oh, give my very best to
Mrs. Bellows, would you, please?
220
00:09:57,445 --> 00:10:00,314
Oh, thank you, major.
That's very thoughtful of you.
221
00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:23,203
Good heavens, major,
what are you doing?!
222
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,073
I'm just checking
the light, sir.
223
00:10:26,074 --> 00:10:28,394
It, uh...
It's plugged in now.
224
00:10:29,444 --> 00:10:31,045
Well...
225
00:10:46,061 --> 00:10:48,929
Yeah, aren't you going
in the wrong direction, major?
226
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,132
The Princess Armena's in there.
Oh, yeah?
227
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,666
Well, that's 606.
228
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,802
I thought it was 604.
They look so much alike.
229
00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:55,870
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.
230
00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:56,871
[MUTTERING]
231
00:11:02,527 --> 00:11:05,395
ROGER: Who is it?
Uh, bellboy. Telegram.
232
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:06,897
Thanks.
Huh?
233
00:11:06,898 --> 00:11:08,382
Roger! Roger.
234
00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:09,466
Hi.
235
00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:10,835
[BOTH LAUGH]
236
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,503
Yeah, no tip, huh, major?
237
00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:34,058
[WHISPERS] Jeannie?
238
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:35,726
Jeannie?
239
00:11:35,727 --> 00:11:37,728
Major Nelson.
What are you doing?
240
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:39,897
[SCREAMS] Major Nelson!
241
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:48,572
Hey.
242
00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:51,074
Practicing space flight, major?
243
00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:02,636
[?]
244
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:45,796
Master?
245
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:47,631
Master, I must talk with you.
246
00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:49,099
[GROANS]
247
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,868
Oh...
248
00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:54,071
Master, it is I, Jeannie.
249
00:12:54,072 --> 00:12:56,474
Major Healey told me
not to talk to you,
250
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,676
but I miss you so much.
251
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,394
I could not wait.
252
00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:03,247
BELLOWS:
Amanda. Amanda.
253
00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:14,325
Oh, dear.
254
00:13:16,011 --> 00:13:19,897
Amanda, your hand is as soft
255
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,599
as lily of the valley.
256
00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:25,502
Jeannie.
257
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:28,505
Go back to sleep, Albert.
258
00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:29,573
Alfred.
259
00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:31,842
Alfred.
Yes.
260
00:13:34,412 --> 00:13:36,813
Huh?
Shh.
261
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:39,249
[BOTH WHISPERING
INDISTINCTLY]
262
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:44,588
We should be quiet.
Just be calm.
263
00:13:44,589 --> 00:13:46,473
[?]
264
00:13:55,984 --> 00:13:56,984
Okay.
265
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:00,688
Master.
266
00:14:02,256 --> 00:14:04,191
Master.
Jeannie.
267
00:14:04,192 --> 00:14:05,425
[SCREAMS] Shh.
268
00:14:05,426 --> 00:14:07,595
Oh, master, I have been
so lonely without you.
269
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,296
You told me you would
only be gone a week
270
00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:11,364
and you have been gone a long...
One day. One day.
271
00:14:11,365 --> 00:14:12,933
I don't know
what you're doing here,
272
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:14,501
but I want you
back in Cocoa Beach.
273
00:14:14,502 --> 00:14:16,220
MAN: Hold it!
[CAMERA CLICKS]
274
00:14:16,221 --> 00:14:17,871
What a story:
275
00:14:17,872 --> 00:14:21,475
"Astronaut and the Princess
Armena in Midnight T�te-�-T�te."
276
00:14:21,476 --> 00:14:24,095
TONY: This is not what
you think, not at all.
277
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,279
Major Nelson.
278
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,815
[TONY CLEARS THROAT]
279
00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:29,550
Yes, sir?
What's going on here?
280
00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:31,118
You told me he fell
out of the window
281
00:14:31,119 --> 00:14:32,720
trying to fix
the window shade, huh?
282
00:14:32,721 --> 00:14:34,855
Yeah, he's been trying
to get in her room all day.
283
00:14:34,856 --> 00:14:36,089
Oh, thank you, folks.
284
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:38,392
This'll make a whale
of a story, I promise you.
285
00:14:38,393 --> 00:14:40,661
Major Nelson, come back
to this room immediately.
286
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:41,995
Yes.
287
00:14:41,996 --> 00:14:43,897
Master, what shall I do?
288
00:14:43,898 --> 00:14:46,217
You stay in your room.
I'll see you in the morning.
289
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,702
Major Nelson.
But, mas...
290
00:14:48,703 --> 00:14:51,338
BELLOWS: Major, I'm
astounded, utterly astounded.
291
00:14:51,339 --> 00:14:52,640
After I told you
292
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,858
we had express orders
to avoid undue publicity,
293
00:14:54,859 --> 00:14:57,094
you get involved with a...
294
00:14:57,095 --> 00:14:58,361
Sleepwalking?
295
00:15:03,518 --> 00:15:06,420
Major, this is absurd,
absolutely absurd.
296
00:15:06,421 --> 00:15:09,689
Are you trying to tell me that
you were walking in your sleep
297
00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:11,158
when you just accidentally
298
00:15:11,159 --> 00:15:13,360
happened to bump
into the Princess Armena?
299
00:15:13,361 --> 00:15:17,797
Oh, major, wake up.
Wake up.
300
00:15:17,798 --> 00:15:21,101
Oh, I don't believe this
for an instant.
301
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:25,906
This is remarkable.
[SNORING]
302
00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:35,299
TONY: Sorry.
It's okay.
303
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,667
Excuse me.
304
00:15:36,668 --> 00:15:38,902
Hey, you're Major Nelson.
305
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:41,905
Yeah. You're Judy Carne.
Right.
306
00:15:41,906 --> 00:15:43,207
From the Laugh-In.
Yeah.
307
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,142
How about that?
And you're the astronaut.
308
00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:46,610
Well, how'd you know that?
309
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,946
Oh, you're putting me on.
I've seen the morning paper.
310
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,814
[CHUCKLING] Oh, let me see.
311
00:15:53,201 --> 00:15:54,468
It's really romantic.
Yeah.
312
00:15:54,469 --> 00:15:57,138
Well, there was a little
misunderstanding last night.
313
00:15:57,139 --> 00:15:59,540
I-I was walking in my sleep,
and this idiot photographer
314
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,409
came out, had to snap...
Sure, major. Sure.
315
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,077
You know, sock it to me.
316
00:16:03,078 --> 00:16:05,012
[CHUCKLES]
317
00:16:05,013 --> 00:16:06,747
Oh, boy. Heh.
318
00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,149
You know Major Healey?
319
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,084
You mean,
Princess Armena's manager?
320
00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:12,819
Oh, sure. He's gonna let
her appear on the Laugh-In.
321
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:15,289
ROGER: The beds have
already been made up.
322
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:16,857
I know who you are.
323
00:16:16,858 --> 00:16:19,126
Do you know who I am, Roge?
Huh? You know me?
324
00:16:19,127 --> 00:16:21,795
You're Judy Carne.
Hi.
325
00:16:25,216 --> 00:16:26,684
What's with him?
326
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,786
Space fatigue.
Hm.
327
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:30,721
Would you like to sit down?
Yeah.
328
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:31,855
[SIGHS]
329
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,559
Princess?
Oh, master.
330
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,461
Oh, master,
I'm so glad you came.
331
00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,429
I did not get a chance
to tell you.
332
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:42,366
I am going to be a TV star.
333
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:44,201
You're gonna be en route
to Cocoa Beach.
334
00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:45,369
Oh, but wait.
335
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:48,122
Master, I am not a TV star yet.
336
00:16:48,123 --> 00:16:49,373
[SCOFFS]
337
00:16:49,374 --> 00:16:50,374
Well, you know how these mad,
338
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:51,658
passionate love affairs are.
339
00:16:51,659 --> 00:16:53,277
No. How are they?
340
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,579
Well, they can't be
separated for a moment.
341
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,680
Hm.
342
00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:58,382
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
343
00:16:58,383 --> 00:17:00,684
Looks like they can't bear
to be together for a moment.
344
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:02,586
Yeah, well, as I said before,
space fatigue.
345
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:03,587
Sure.
346
00:17:08,343 --> 00:17:10,844
I'm sorry, Jeannie,
but your show business career
347
00:17:10,845 --> 00:17:13,947
is over as of now.
[PHONE RINGING]
348
00:17:13,948 --> 00:17:17,217
BELLOWS: Are you there, major?
Yes, sir. I'll get it.
349
00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:20,086
Hello?
350
00:17:20,087 --> 00:17:22,256
[CHUCKLING] Oh, hello, Roger.
351
00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:23,690
Well, where is she?
352
00:17:23,691 --> 00:17:26,077
The princess has retired
to her bottle.
353
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,561
Tony, you can't do this to me.
354
00:17:27,562 --> 00:17:29,880
This is my one chance
to be rich and famous.
355
00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:31,165
Yeah, well, good luck.
356
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:32,766
Wait a minute.
You don't understand.
357
00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:33,967
I signed a contract.
358
00:17:33,968 --> 00:17:35,636
If she doesn't appear,
they'll sue me.
359
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,755
This is my... I'll be washed upin Hollywood.
360
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,306
If she does appear,
I'll be washed up...
361
00:17:39,307 --> 00:17:40,941
Who is it, major?
Maid service, sir.
362
00:17:40,942 --> 00:17:42,643
They wanna know
when to make up the room.
363
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:43,910
Hm. This is very interesting.
364
00:17:43,911 --> 00:17:46,247
What's in it?
Uh, after-shave lotion.
365
00:17:46,248 --> 00:17:48,115
I picked it up
at the drugstore downstairs.
366
00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:50,717
Good. Do you mind if I try?
I'm about to shower and shave.
367
00:17:50,718 --> 00:17:52,686
Well, I'd kind of rather...
Rather you didn't.
368
00:17:52,687 --> 00:17:55,088
Well, tell the maid to make up
the room in 10 minutes.
369
00:17:55,089 --> 00:17:57,625
Yes. Uh, make up the room
in 10 minutes.
370
00:17:57,626 --> 00:17:59,793
Dr. Bellows, sir.
Doctor?
371
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:04,731
Doctor...
[WATER RUNNING, BELLOWS SINGING]
372
00:18:04,732 --> 00:18:07,034
Don't... Don't use
that after-shave lotion, sir.
373
00:18:07,035 --> 00:18:09,102
Dr. Bellows?
374
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,240
Oh.
375
00:18:17,612 --> 00:18:19,179
TONY:
Dr. Bellows?
376
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,182
Dr. Bellows?
Sir? Uh...
377
00:18:23,384 --> 00:18:27,087
I'd rather that you...
Tony, Tony, I'm on my knees.
378
00:18:27,088 --> 00:18:29,056
You've got to let Jeannie
appear on that show.
379
00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:30,558
I'll be washed up
in show business.
380
00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:33,360
This is my only chance to be...
Roger, Roger, Roger, shut up.
381
00:18:33,361 --> 00:18:34,795
All right.
All right?
382
00:18:34,796 --> 00:18:36,964
If you can get her out
of the bathroom, she's yours.
383
00:18:36,965 --> 00:18:39,232
She's mine? Oh, I knew
you wouldn't let me down.
384
00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:41,401
You're a friend.
Stop it.
385
00:18:41,402 --> 00:18:43,437
[BELLOWS CONTINUES SINGING]
386
00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:44,572
Who's that?
387
00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:46,006
That's Dr. Bellows.
388
00:18:46,007 --> 00:18:47,474
Dr. Bellows is
in the bathroom?
389
00:18:47,475 --> 00:18:48,876
With Jeannie.
390
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,311
Dr. Bellows is
in the bathroom with Jeannie?
391
00:18:51,312 --> 00:18:53,881
He thinks she's a bottle
of after-shave lotion.
392
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,849
Oh, I need a drink.
393
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:58,151
Oh, do I need a drink.
394
00:18:58,152 --> 00:18:59,503
Oh, I'm sorr...
Roger.
395
00:18:59,504 --> 00:19:01,821
[BELLOWS SINGING]
396
00:19:10,131 --> 00:19:12,065
[?]
397
00:19:16,271 --> 00:19:18,588
Oh, master, let me out.
398
00:19:22,476 --> 00:19:23,911
[WATER STOPS RUNNING]
399
00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:28,398
He's finished showering.
He's gonna shave.
400
00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:30,300
Look, Tony, we've been
together a long time,
401
00:19:30,301 --> 00:19:31,668
and I want
to tell you one thing:
402
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:33,170
That when he opens up
that bottle...
403
00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:35,272
I know. You're gonna be
standing right beside me.
404
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:36,840
Wrong. I am going
to be on a plane
405
00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:39,210
halfway to Cocoa Beach.
406
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:40,511
All right,
if you're gonna go, go.
407
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,612
I got enough troubles
without you hanging around
408
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:44,048
and confusing the issue.
409
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,415
I don't know where they went.
410
00:19:45,416 --> 00:19:47,350
I believe you.
I haven't seen anybody.
411
00:19:47,351 --> 00:19:49,303
Hey, that's him.
That's her manager.
412
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:51,455
[YELLING]
413
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:53,424
What's holding you up?
We're double-parked.
414
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:55,992
Art... Arte Johnson.
You're Arte Johnson.
415
00:19:55,993 --> 00:19:56,993
Yeah.
Arte Johnson.
416
00:19:56,994 --> 00:19:58,462
Yes.
That's Arte Johnson.
417
00:19:58,463 --> 00:19:59,563
That's Arte Johnson, yes.
418
00:19:59,564 --> 00:20:00,830
Arte Johnson and Judy Carne.
419
00:20:00,831 --> 00:20:03,100
Uh, yes. Uh, major,
this is Arte Johnson.
420
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,369
Major Nelson, you know
Judy Carne, of course.
421
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,670
Hi.
Uh, major, we realize
422
00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:08,472
that you and the princess
are a hot item,
423
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:09,639
but we have no time.
424
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,408
We've gotta be there
in half an hour.
425
00:20:11,409 --> 00:20:13,043
You mean, the princess
was over here?
426
00:20:13,044 --> 00:20:14,778
In the major's room?
427
00:20:14,779 --> 00:20:17,514
[IN GERMAN ACCENT]
Very interesting.
428
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:19,833
Where is she?
Oh, she's in freshening up.
429
00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,234
Something probably happened.
430
00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:23,087
BELLOWS:
I'm almost finished, major.
431
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,755
I'll say something happened.
432
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:26,507
Well, there goes
the electric razor.
433
00:20:26,508 --> 00:20:27,891
Armena shaves?
434
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:30,994
Why not? She has a face.
435
00:20:30,995 --> 00:20:32,396
Uh, Dr. Bellows?
436
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,557
[RAZOR BUZZING]
437
00:21:17,392 --> 00:21:19,310
[COUGHS]
438
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,145
Why don't the three of you
go over to the studio,
439
00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:22,379
I'll bring her along later?
440
00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:23,514
And miss her entrance?
441
00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:25,382
I wouldn't miss
that for the world.
442
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:28,868
BELLOWS: Major Nelson,
what's the meaning of this?!
443
00:21:28,869 --> 00:21:30,504
[COUGHING]
444
00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:38,495
Major Nelson, you call
this after-shave lotion?
445
00:21:38,496 --> 00:21:40,331
I don't know, sir.
What do you call it?
446
00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:42,833
BELLOWS:
Oh, it smells like skunk.
447
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:44,535
Must be something wrong
in the factory.
448
00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:47,304
Air. Air!
I must have a breath of air.
449
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:48,756
When I get you back to...
450
00:21:48,757 --> 00:21:50,073
[YELLS]
451
00:21:50,808 --> 00:21:52,092
Oh, oh.
452
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,210
[YELLING]
453
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:02,486
BELLOWS: Major, what on
earth are you doing?!
454
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,954
Huh?
455
00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,421
Major, what happened?
456
00:22:05,422 --> 00:22:07,123
You really socked it to him.
457
00:22:07,124 --> 00:22:09,325
Yeah.
Major, who are these people?
458
00:22:09,326 --> 00:22:11,595
Oh, I-I... Are you registered
in the hotel?
459
00:22:11,596 --> 00:22:14,030
You're in the wrong room.
I'm Dr. Bellows.
460
00:22:14,031 --> 00:22:16,049
Great heavens!
I'm not dressed.
461
00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:18,234
I thought we did
far-out things
462
00:22:18,235 --> 00:22:19,803
on Laugh-In,
but this is too much.
463
00:22:19,804 --> 00:22:20,971
Hey, where's the princess?
464
00:22:20,972 --> 00:22:22,456
We're gonna be late
for the show.
465
00:22:22,457 --> 00:22:24,107
Well, I have it
on very good authority
466
00:22:24,108 --> 00:22:25,609
that she's not gonna
do the show.
467
00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:28,178
GARY: Not gonna do the show?
JUDY: She has to do the show.
468
00:22:28,179 --> 00:22:29,747
ARTE: Her agent
signed a contract.
469
00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:30,947
Yeah, I know.
But she told me
470
00:22:30,948 --> 00:22:32,716
that she's retiring
from show business.
471
00:22:32,717 --> 00:22:34,718
Well, she's making a comeback.
472
00:22:34,719 --> 00:22:36,653
Roger! Roger!
473
00:22:36,654 --> 00:22:38,472
Roger! Roger!
474
00:22:38,473 --> 00:22:40,323
[?]
475
00:22:44,211 --> 00:22:45,962
ALL:
Confusing.
476
00:22:45,963 --> 00:22:49,866
[IN GERMAN ACCENT]
But very interesting.
477
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:52,716
[YELLS]
478
00:23:01,930 --> 00:23:03,680
Roger!
479
00:23:03,681 --> 00:23:06,299
Come back here, Roger!
480
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:08,051
[YELLS]
481
00:23:18,246 --> 00:23:20,180
[?]
482
00:23:20,230 --> 00:23:24,780
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