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1
00:00:01,817 --> 00:00:03,101
[?]
2
00:00:12,161 --> 00:00:14,862
Two... three.
3
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,764
Mm.
4
00:00:16,765 --> 00:00:18,433
Would you like a ham on rye?
5
00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,401
No. I'm not
programmed to eat
6
00:00:20,402 --> 00:00:22,403
for another 15 minutes
in here yet.
7
00:00:22,404 --> 00:00:24,724
Forgot the mustard again.
8
00:00:25,907 --> 00:00:27,742
Mm!
9
00:00:27,743 --> 00:00:29,210
Hey. Look at this.
10
00:00:29,211 --> 00:00:30,491
Pardon my glove.
11
00:00:31,514 --> 00:00:32,647
Oh, thanks.
12
00:00:32,648 --> 00:00:33,848
What are you doing, master?
13
00:00:33,849 --> 00:00:34,982
What is it you think?
14
00:00:34,983 --> 00:00:36,151
Oh.
15
00:00:36,152 --> 00:00:37,818
This is a heat
test chamber, Jeannie.
16
00:00:37,819 --> 00:00:38,919
We're trying to find out
17
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,022
how much heat
a human body can stand.
18
00:00:41,023 --> 00:00:42,941
Y... You're not supposed
to eat that.
19
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:44,476
Excuse me, Gary.
20
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:45,877
How long have they
been in there?
21
00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:47,779
Four hours and 30 minutes,
Dr. Bellows.
22
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:48,980
Oh. That's enough.
23
00:00:48,981 --> 00:00:50,114
Yes, sir.
24
00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:54,252
We're bringing you out,
gentlemen.
25
00:00:54,253 --> 00:00:56,137
I don't want them
to bring me out.
26
00:00:56,138 --> 00:00:58,339
This is the first good
steam bath I've had in months.
27
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:00,008
If you enjoy this, master,
you can do it
28
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,275
in your very own living room.
29
00:01:01,276 --> 00:01:02,343
Goodbye.
Oh.
30
00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:03,845
Very well.
I will see you at dinner.
31
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:04,913
Mwah.
32
00:01:08,817 --> 00:01:10,885
Ah. How you feeling,
Major Nelson?
33
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,020
Fine.
Good.
34
00:01:13,021 --> 00:01:14,021
Fine.
35
00:01:14,022 --> 00:01:15,022
And you, Major Healey?
36
00:01:15,023 --> 00:01:16,391
The sandwich was a little dry.
37
00:01:16,392 --> 00:01:17,425
Sandwich?
38
00:01:17,426 --> 00:01:19,093
Oh, the tube sandwich,
with the...
39
00:01:19,094 --> 00:01:20,795
Oh, yes.
40
00:01:20,796 --> 00:01:22,163
We're assigning you to
41
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:23,764
a special mission, Major Nelson.
42
00:01:23,765 --> 00:01:25,132
Oh, the Apollo project, sir?
43
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,467
I, uh, heh-heh...
44
00:01:26,468 --> 00:01:28,436
No, uh, not quite.
45
00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:30,538
NASA has approved of
making the documentary film
46
00:01:30,539 --> 00:01:31,639
and, uh...
47
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,940
they're going to, uh, bring in
48
00:01:32,941 --> 00:01:34,309
a movie expert from Hollywood.
49
00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:35,943
Oh?
50
00:01:35,944 --> 00:01:37,212
Oh, really?
W-what does that
51
00:01:37,213 --> 00:01:38,513
have to do with me, sir?
52
00:01:38,514 --> 00:01:40,348
Well, you're going to
act in the film.
53
00:01:40,349 --> 00:01:41,349
Oh, really?
54
00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:43,184
Oh, ha-ha,
here we are.
55
00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:45,137
This is your director,
Mr. Allen Kerr.
56
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,905
This is, uh, Major Healey
and, uh, Major Nelson.
57
00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:49,307
How do you do, sir?
58
00:01:49,308 --> 00:01:51,909
A star is born.
[LAUGHS]
59
00:01:58,234 --> 00:01:59,951
[?]
60
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,388
But I-I think you have
the wrong man.
61
00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:56,291
Uh, I've never done
any acting, Mr. Kerr.
62
00:02:56,292 --> 00:02:58,359
Allen.
Allen.
63
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,095
Won't be necessary for you
to do any acting, major.
64
00:03:01,096 --> 00:03:03,497
I want the real you.
65
00:03:03,498 --> 00:03:04,965
The whole idea
66
00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:07,502
is to photograph an average day
67
00:03:07,503 --> 00:03:10,338
in the life of
an average astronaut.
68
00:03:10,339 --> 00:03:12,207
Your... Your home life,
everything.
69
00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:13,208
My... My home
life?
70
00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:14,809
That's what I said.
71
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:16,311
I really don't think
it would work.
72
00:03:16,312 --> 00:03:17,912
Why not, major?
73
00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:19,714
Well, I'm not
an average astronaut. I...
74
00:03:19,715 --> 00:03:21,382
Actually, I don't have
any family. I...
75
00:03:21,383 --> 00:03:23,818
Uh, Major Nelson, um,
General Brindley has asked us
76
00:03:23,819 --> 00:03:25,186
for full cooperation.
77
00:03:25,187 --> 00:03:27,689
Now, uh, since Mr. Kerr
has been kind enough
78
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:29,124
to come out here from Hollywood
79
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,725
and lend his assistance,
80
00:03:30,726 --> 00:03:32,460
it's, uh, up to us
to make everything
81
00:03:32,461 --> 00:03:34,129
as easy as possible for him.
82
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,464
There's nothing
to worry about, major.
83
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:38,985
As long as you have me
behind the camera.
84
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:41,169
I-I do think
that perhaps
85
00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:43,138
we ought to give it
just a little more thought.
86
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,205
Did you send for me, sir?
87
00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:45,240
Oh, uh, yes, major.
88
00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:46,774
I thought you'd be
sending for me.
89
00:03:46,775 --> 00:03:49,143
Well, here are the results
of the heat-chamber tests.
90
00:03:49,144 --> 00:03:51,785
Take them to the lab for me, will you?
Yes, sir.
91
00:03:52,981 --> 00:03:54,416
Was there anything else, major?
92
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:57,869
Well, I heard you were
filming a documentary,
93
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,270
and I've had acting experience.
94
00:03:59,271 --> 00:04:00,939
And I thought you might be
needing me.
95
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,523
Oh, were you an actor,
Major Healey?
96
00:04:02,524 --> 00:04:03,892
Well, I played King Lear.
97
00:04:03,893 --> 00:04:05,927
King Lear? O-on Broadway?
98
00:04:05,928 --> 00:04:07,762
Horace Mann High School.
99
00:04:07,763 --> 00:04:09,898
"Horace Mann High School."
100
00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:12,600
We're making
a documentary, major.
101
00:04:12,601 --> 00:04:13,634
Uh, we don't need actors.
102
00:04:14,937 --> 00:04:17,087
Well, if Roger'd like to
do this instead of me,
103
00:04:17,088 --> 00:04:18,423
uh, I have no objection.
104
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,657
Why don't you both do it?
105
00:04:19,658 --> 00:04:21,258
You work as a team anyway.
106
00:04:21,259 --> 00:04:22,744
And I could help Tony out.
107
00:04:22,745 --> 00:04:24,129
Well, that's settled.
108
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,181
I'm not too familiar
with, uh, movie techniques.
109
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,882
Uh, could you answer a question?
110
00:04:27,883 --> 00:04:28,667
Shoot.
111
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,434
What's Ann-Margret really like?
112
00:04:32,471 --> 00:04:34,238
I'd like to, uh,
113
00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:36,941
spend as much time as I can
with you, major.
114
00:04:36,942 --> 00:04:39,477
I really like to
get to know my actors.
115
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:40,912
Oh. Yes, I can
understand that.
116
00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:43,682
Splendid. But how about dinner
tonight at your house?
117
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:44,916
Uh-uh, dinner tonight?
118
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:46,885
Uh, you know, tonight
really is not the best...
119
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:48,386
Why not?
120
00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:50,488
We're having Turkish leftovers.
121
00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:51,990
I've never had
Turkish leftovers.
122
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:53,491
That sounds intriguing.
123
00:04:53,492 --> 00:04:55,493
Oh. Major, I think it'd
be a very good idea
124
00:04:55,494 --> 00:04:57,662
for Mr. Kerr to see you
in your home environment.
125
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:59,263
We're gonna shoot you there too.
126
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,565
I believe it.
What?
127
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,734
I... We're redecorating.
The whole place is a mess.
128
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,736
You didn't decorate
your house. You kidding?
129
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,004
Perfect.
130
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,471
It'd make it seem more homey.
131
00:05:07,472 --> 00:05:08,506
See you at 7.
132
00:05:08,507 --> 00:05:10,308
Homey. At 7.
Yes, uh, right.
133
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:12,143
Would you all excuse me?
I have a... A...
134
00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:13,784
A pressing engagement.
135
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:15,539
[DOOR CLOSES]
136
00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:20,268
[RINGS]
137
00:05:21,303 --> 00:05:22,670
Yes, master.
138
00:05:22,671 --> 00:05:25,640
Uh, hello, Jeannie? Look,
I want you to mess up the house.
139
00:05:25,641 --> 00:05:28,510
Mess up the house?
I just finished vacuuming.
140
00:05:28,511 --> 00:05:29,644
Look, this is important.
141
00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:31,246
I have a very important
guest coming.
142
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,814
And, uh... Uh, well, the house
has got to be messed up for him.
143
00:05:33,815 --> 00:05:35,517
Uh... I want you to make it
look terrible.
144
00:05:35,518 --> 00:05:39,120
Oh. Well... if that
is what you wish.
145
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,839
Don't overdo it. Make it look
like I've been redecorating.
146
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,007
Yes, master.
147
00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:44,475
And try to look inconspicuous.
148
00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:46,778
"Inconspicuous"?
149
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,280
Yeah. Do the best you can.
150
00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:52,016
Uh, here we are.
151
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:53,718
Oh.
152
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:54,853
Wow.
153
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,014
[DOOR CLOSES]
154
00:05:57,089 --> 00:05:58,089
You, uh...
155
00:05:58,090 --> 00:05:59,590
Y-you live here?
156
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,228
Well, it's just
an experiment, you see. It...
157
00:06:08,517 --> 00:06:11,319
Wow. What happened
to your place?
158
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,686
I like it.
159
00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:13,687
You do?
160
00:06:13,688 --> 00:06:14,788
It breathes.
161
00:06:14,789 --> 00:06:16,857
Reminds me of a wild bird
162
00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,459
soaring into space.
163
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,428
I can't wait to
photograph you in this room.
164
00:06:20,429 --> 00:06:21,629
Good evening.
165
00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:23,597
Oh, good evening.
I'm uh... I'm Allen Kerr.
166
00:06:23,598 --> 00:06:25,466
I am Jeannie.
I am Major Nelson's...
167
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,402
Decorator. She's
my interior decorator.
168
00:06:27,403 --> 00:06:29,203
Oh, you've done
a marvelous job, darling.
169
00:06:29,204 --> 00:06:30,938
Oh, thank you.
170
00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:33,774
Uh, Mr. Kerr is here to
direct a documentary.
171
00:06:33,775 --> 00:06:36,310
Oh, how exciting.
172
00:06:36,311 --> 00:06:37,878
Oh, will you sit down, please?
173
00:06:37,879 --> 00:06:38,913
Thank you.
174
00:06:38,914 --> 00:06:40,915
Being a director
must be very interesting.
175
00:06:40,916 --> 00:06:43,584
It has its rewards.
176
00:06:43,585 --> 00:06:45,286
There's nothing
like the satisfaction
177
00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:47,255
of getting a good performance...
178
00:06:47,256 --> 00:06:48,857
from a clod.
179
00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:49,723
A "clod"?
180
00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:51,375
Most actors are clods.
181
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,912
Well, how do you get
a good performance out of them?
182
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:56,865
I whip them into it.
183
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,099
You whip them into it?
184
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:01,035
In the old days,
when I made B pictures,
185
00:07:01,036 --> 00:07:02,937
I was known as
"The Beast of the Bs."
186
00:07:02,938 --> 00:07:04,822
[ALL LAUGHING]
187
00:07:09,545 --> 00:07:12,113
I can't stand incompetence.
188
00:07:12,114 --> 00:07:13,548
Well, I don't blame you.
189
00:07:13,549 --> 00:07:15,316
When I have an actor
in front of my camera,
190
00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:16,784
I expect him to know his job.
191
00:07:16,785 --> 00:07:18,086
Heaven help him if he doesn't.
192
00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:19,587
[LAUGHTER]
193
00:07:19,588 --> 00:07:22,557
I'll have my camera crew here
first thing in the morning.
194
00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:24,092
I think we'll, um...
195
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,960
start in this corner.
196
00:07:27,362 --> 00:07:28,529
He sounds pretty tough.
197
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,490
Don't worry,
I'll pull you through.
198
00:07:31,666 --> 00:07:33,701
It's gonna work.
Oh?
199
00:07:33,702 --> 00:07:34,982
See you at the crack of dawn.
200
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:42,693
All right.
We're gonna pick up.
201
00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:44,245
Major Healey coming in the door
202
00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:45,913
in a... In a wide shot...
Yeah.
203
00:07:45,914 --> 00:07:47,715
And then go to a tight two.
204
00:07:47,716 --> 00:07:48,816
And then the next, uh...
205
00:07:48,817 --> 00:07:51,119
W-where's
my script girl?
206
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,753
What does he mean
by a "tight two"?
207
00:07:52,754 --> 00:07:54,888
Why are the little people
always frustrating me?
208
00:07:55,991 --> 00:07:57,291
May I help you?
209
00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:58,859
Do you have a stopwatch?
210
00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:00,261
A stopwatch?
Heh.
211
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:03,063
Yes.
212
00:08:04,166 --> 00:08:05,233
[CHUCKLES]
213
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,300
Uh... Uh, shall we,
um...?
214
00:08:06,301 --> 00:08:07,868
Shall we go over
the scene once more?
215
00:08:07,869 --> 00:08:09,437
I don't think
that'll be necessary.
216
00:08:09,438 --> 00:08:10,538
I know my lines.
217
00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:12,440
An old pro never
forgets. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
218
00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:14,942
Let's do it anyway.
219
00:08:14,943 --> 00:08:17,111
You've come over to
have breakfast with Tony,
220
00:08:17,112 --> 00:08:18,812
and you're discussing
the new project.
221
00:08:18,813 --> 00:08:20,181
Now, have you got that?
Got it.
222
00:08:20,182 --> 00:08:22,450
Now go out the door
and get ready for your entrance.
223
00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:23,731
Right.
224
00:08:24,486 --> 00:08:25,486
[DOORBELL RINGS]
225
00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:26,587
Tony, there's the door.
226
00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:27,622
I'm sorry.
227
00:08:27,623 --> 00:08:28,722
Do not worry.
Go, go, go.
228
00:08:28,723 --> 00:08:30,924
Tony, please!
Sorry, sorry.
229
00:08:30,925 --> 00:08:32,493
[TONY CLEARS THROAT]
230
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,796
Hi, Roge.
Good morning, Tony.
231
00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:37,097
How you feeling this morning?
232
00:08:37,098 --> 00:08:39,800
Oh, fine, fine. It's
a pretty exciting day.
233
00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:41,936
I can't wait to test
the new scale model
234
00:08:41,937 --> 00:08:43,638
of the lunar landscape.
235
00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:44,772
Neither can I.
236
00:08:44,773 --> 00:08:46,558
Like some coffee
before you go to work?
237
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,459
I'd love a cup of coffee
before we go to work.
238
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:49,460
How do you take it?
239
00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:51,029
Cream and sugar.
240
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,397
I wonder what it's gonna be like
241
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,065
to be the first man
to land on the moon.
242
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:56,267
I guess we won't know
until we get there.
243
00:08:56,268 --> 00:08:58,335
ALLEN:
Very good.
244
00:08:58,336 --> 00:08:59,470
Uh, you really like it?
245
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:00,855
Wait till
I say "cut."
246
00:09:00,856 --> 00:09:01,873
"Cut"?
247
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,540
What was the timing on that?
248
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:05,476
Oh. The timing?
Uh...
249
00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:08,412
Nine and three-quarter
seconds.
250
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:10,148
What's that,
a psychedelic egg timer?
251
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,582
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
252
00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:13,050
Okay, let's shoot it.
253
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,051
Be calm.
254
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:15,052
All right, here we go.
255
00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:16,053
Like in rehearsal.
256
00:09:16,054 --> 00:09:17,121
Like in rehearsal.
257
00:09:17,122 --> 00:09:18,622
Your entrance
from the front door.
258
00:09:18,623 --> 00:09:20,543
From the front door.
Hm.
259
00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:22,894
Major?
Yes, yes, yes.
260
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:23,961
Whenever you're ready.
261
00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:25,663
I'm ready.
Oh, one more.
262
00:09:25,664 --> 00:09:27,265
Ready, ready.
[CHUCKLES]
263
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,302
All right, here we go.
264
00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:32,870
[BANGING]
265
00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,038
And let's have it quiet.
266
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:37,809
I don't even want breathing.
267
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,643
Ready?
268
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:40,644
Roll 'em!
269
00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:43,480
Action!
270
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,849
[WHISPERS] The bell.
271
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,174
[WHISPERS] The bell.
272
00:09:54,209 --> 00:09:55,242
The...
273
00:09:56,344 --> 00:09:58,779
Ring the doorbell, Major Healey.
274
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,114
[DOORBELL RINGS]
275
00:10:00,115 --> 00:10:01,115
Thank you.
276
00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:08,672
[WHISPERS] Major Nelson.
277
00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:13,060
[WHISPERS] Major Nelson.
278
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,297
That's you, Tony baby.
279
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:18,031
Oh. I'm sorry.
280
00:10:22,738 --> 00:10:24,338
Oh, hi, Roge.
Morning, Tony.
281
00:10:24,339 --> 00:10:25,640
How you feeling this morning?
282
00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:28,342
Fine. Pretty
exciting day.
283
00:10:28,343 --> 00:10:30,177
I can't wait to test
the new scale model
284
00:10:30,178 --> 00:10:31,646
of the lunar landscape.
285
00:10:31,647 --> 00:10:33,381
Neither can I.
286
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,982
Uh, would you like
a cup of coffee
287
00:10:34,983 --> 00:10:36,250
before we go to work?
288
00:10:36,251 --> 00:10:39,153
I'd love a cup of coffee
before we go to work.
289
00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:40,321
How do you take it?
290
00:10:40,322 --> 00:10:42,956
I guess we won't know
until we get there.
291
00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:44,325
I wonder what it's gonna be like
292
00:10:44,326 --> 00:10:45,993
to be the first man
to land on the moon.
293
00:10:45,994 --> 00:10:47,961
Cream and sugar.
294
00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:49,096
What...? Uh...
Uh, what?
295
00:10:49,097 --> 00:10:50,665
Cut!
296
00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:51,799
Cut?
297
00:10:53,518 --> 00:10:54,919
What are you doing?
298
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,286
What do you mean,
what am I doing?
299
00:10:56,287 --> 00:10:58,856
That "cream and sugar"
stuff on the moon.
300
00:10:58,857 --> 00:11:00,591
Ah. I know
what you mean.
301
00:11:00,592 --> 00:11:02,593
You're too tense.
Relax.
302
00:11:02,594 --> 00:11:03,895
It's too much.
303
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,363
Too much for him.
304
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,164
L-let's
try it again.
305
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:08,465
It's a long scene.
306
00:11:08,466 --> 00:11:09,946
W-what...?
Just...
307
00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:16,806
ALLEN:
Open the door.
308
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,073
Morning, Tony. How you
feeling this morning?
309
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:25,888
ALLEN:
Cut!
310
00:11:26,618 --> 00:11:28,052
What... What...
What time is it?
311
00:11:28,053 --> 00:11:29,653
Oh. I-it is
9 a.m.
312
00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:30,654
Lunch!
313
00:11:31,856 --> 00:11:32,856
Lunch?
314
00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,528
That was pretty good, Roge.
315
00:11:43,385 --> 00:11:45,335
[?]
316
00:11:47,105 --> 00:11:48,946
[KNOCK ON DOOR] Come in.
317
00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:51,075
Ah, Mr. Kerr.
318
00:11:53,544 --> 00:11:55,312
Oh, uh, anything the matter?
319
00:11:55,313 --> 00:11:56,613
Yes.
320
00:11:56,614 --> 00:11:57,982
Roger Healey.
321
00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,950
You know, King Lear.
322
00:11:59,951 --> 00:12:03,520
Well, if you're having any
trouble getting cooperation...
323
00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:04,721
The problem is, I'm getting
324
00:12:04,722 --> 00:12:06,857
a little too much cooperation.
325
00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:09,459
He's the lousiest actor
I've ever seen.
326
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:11,896
Well, I'm sure that
everything will turn out.
327
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,298
What about Major Nelson?
328
00:12:14,299 --> 00:12:15,800
Dr. Bellows, can I
level with you?
329
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,768
Well, of course.
330
00:12:17,769 --> 00:12:20,137
I'd like to make
Tony Nelson a star.
331
00:12:20,138 --> 00:12:21,571
Take him to Hollywood.
332
00:12:21,572 --> 00:12:22,840
I got a part in my next picture
333
00:12:22,841 --> 00:12:24,108
that he'd be perfect for.
334
00:12:24,109 --> 00:12:26,310
Oh. I'm sure Major Nelson
would never be interested
335
00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:27,577
in going to Hollywood.
336
00:12:27,578 --> 00:12:30,881
I was hoping he might have
a vacation coming up.
337
00:12:30,882 --> 00:12:33,851
I've worked with the biggest
stars in this business,
338
00:12:33,852 --> 00:12:36,887
and he's a natural
if I ever saw one.
339
00:12:36,888 --> 00:12:38,789
He'll be the biggest
star in Hollywood.
340
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:40,424
You really think so?
341
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:41,758
I know so.
342
00:12:41,759 --> 00:12:45,463
He has a quality
that nobody teaches you.
343
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:46,914
It's a gift.
344
00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:49,082
Well, I always thought
he was colorful, but...
345
00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:51,719
Shines right out
at you. Blinds you.
346
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,721
Doctor, you put him
on the screen,
347
00:12:53,722 --> 00:12:56,424
and he'll have every woman
in the country swooning.
348
00:12:56,425 --> 00:12:58,692
One picture and he'll be
bigger than Rock Hudson.
349
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,598
Me bigger than Rock Hudson?
350
00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:06,033
Oh, my...
351
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,120
Yes? Yeah, Major Healey.
352
00:13:11,156 --> 00:13:13,424
Right. Oh,
all right.
353
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:14,792
Thank you very much.
354
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:16,827
Uh, Roger reported to
the main gate an hour ago,
355
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,062
nobody's seen him since.
356
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:19,463
Shall I go look for
Major Healey?
357
00:13:19,464 --> 00:13:22,166
No. I have
a better idea.
358
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:24,118
We'll shoot this scene
without him.
359
00:13:24,119 --> 00:13:26,070
Oh, but I'm sure I can find him.
360
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,439
Let's not press our luck.
We'll make it now.
361
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,025
We'll pick it up
right over here.
362
00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:32,359
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
How's it going?
363
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,228
Good morning, good morning,
good morning.
364
00:13:34,229 --> 00:13:35,630
Uh, good morning, good morning.
365
00:13:35,631 --> 00:13:36,631
Good morning.
366
00:13:36,632 --> 00:13:38,432
Hi, Roge. What's
the outfit for?
367
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:39,517
Oh, this old thing?
Ha.
368
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:42,603
Well, I thought I'd give
the scene a little color.
369
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,237
I came to Cape Kennedy
370
00:13:44,238 --> 00:13:46,406
to make a documentary
in three days.
371
00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:48,742
You're turning this
into War and Peace.
372
00:13:50,144 --> 00:13:52,363
[PATS] Don't you think
I've suffered too?
373
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,864
I know things have
been going slowly,
374
00:13:53,865 --> 00:13:55,316
but old Roge will help.
375
00:13:55,317 --> 00:13:56,483
I don't need any help!
376
00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,237
Sorry, gang.
377
00:14:00,305 --> 00:14:01,905
Let's do it!
378
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,343
ALLEN:
Quiet, please.
379
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,410
Believe it or not, gang,
380
00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:09,046
I think we're finally ready.
381
00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:10,564
Now, in this shot...
382
00:14:10,565 --> 00:14:12,032
Major Healey...
383
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,767
will be out of frame,
384
00:14:13,768 --> 00:14:16,937
and reenter and rendezvous
with Major Nelson.
385
00:14:17,972 --> 00:14:19,039
One note:
386
00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:22,677
Please don't act, Major Healey.
387
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:23,844
Be honest.
388
00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:24,679
Natural.
389
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,863
Honest. Just
be yourself.
390
00:14:26,864 --> 00:14:28,966
Tony. Do it just the way
you've been doing it.
391
00:14:28,967 --> 00:14:30,534
It's perfect.
392
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:32,776
Okay. This will be
picture.
393
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,907
Take him out.
394
00:14:39,377 --> 00:14:40,377
Roll 'em.
395
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:41,412
MAN:
Speed.
396
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,080
Action!
397
00:14:45,984 --> 00:14:48,452
Over here, Roge.
398
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:49,553
Roge!
399
00:14:52,357 --> 00:14:53,357
Rendezvous.
400
00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:57,794
Roge.
401
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,280
R-rendezvous.
402
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:03,768
Cut!
403
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:04,635
Cut! Cut!
Let him down.
404
00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:06,270
Let him down.
405
00:15:06,271 --> 00:15:07,271
Let him down.
406
00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,058
Major Healey.
407
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:13,177
We're not doing Peter Pan.
408
00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:16,213
Call Hollywood.
409
00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:19,116
I'll get this shot...
410
00:15:19,117 --> 00:15:21,018
if it kills me.
411
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,219
And you too.
412
00:15:27,842 --> 00:15:29,676
[SIGHS]
413
00:15:29,677 --> 00:15:33,046
Three thousand miles for this.
414
00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:35,449
Uncle Sam, I've done
more than my share.
415
00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:43,590
Hey. What's gotten
into you, anyway?
416
00:15:43,591 --> 00:15:44,591
What's gotten into me?
417
00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:45,592
I'm gonna be a big star.
418
00:15:45,593 --> 00:15:47,193
That's what's gotten into me.
419
00:15:47,194 --> 00:15:48,194
Yeah? Who says so?
420
00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:49,195
Haven't you heard?
421
00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:51,031
I'm going to be
bigger than Rock.
422
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:52,032
Rock who?
423
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:53,300
Rock Hudson.
424
00:15:53,301 --> 00:15:54,468
Well, who said that?
425
00:15:54,469 --> 00:15:56,269
I heard our director
telling Dr. Bellows.
426
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:57,270
And he should know.
427
00:15:57,271 --> 00:15:58,439
Well, back to the old grind.
428
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,240
I think I'll get
a little makeup on.
429
00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:01,575
It's a little dark around here.
430
00:16:04,913 --> 00:16:07,047
Roger's no actor.
431
00:16:07,048 --> 00:16:09,249
[LAUGHS] You can say
that again, baby.
432
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,384
I was talking about you.
433
00:16:11,385 --> 00:16:12,385
You... Me?
434
00:16:12,386 --> 00:16:13,921
Poor Major Healey.
435
00:16:13,922 --> 00:16:16,990
Look, I'm sorry if there's
been some misunderstanding,
436
00:16:16,991 --> 00:16:20,226
but Major Healey is King Clod.
437
00:16:20,227 --> 00:16:22,128
Well, I don't think
we really have a problem.
438
00:16:22,129 --> 00:16:23,497
He's a dedicated astronaut.
439
00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:25,566
I... I don't think he's
interested in Hollywood.
440
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,900
Oh, that's a break.
441
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:28,602
For Hollywood, I mean.
442
00:16:28,603 --> 00:16:29,737
Yes.
443
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:32,138
Major Healey reminds me
of an actor I once knew
444
00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:33,841
who was in a play by Aristotle.
445
00:16:33,842 --> 00:16:36,176
His name was Xerxes. Homer Xerxes.
Yeah.
446
00:16:36,177 --> 00:16:38,545
He rode a chariot
up a hill, over three...
447
00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:40,080
A...
A-a chariot?
448
00:16:40,081 --> 00:16:42,182
Oh, she's an old
theater buff. Yeah.
449
00:16:42,183 --> 00:16:43,584
Sweetheart, you and I are gonna
450
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,751
have to have a little chat.
451
00:16:44,752 --> 00:16:46,720
Oh, I would enjoy that.
[CLEARS THROAT]
452
00:16:46,721 --> 00:16:48,288
Well, I'm gonna force myself
453
00:16:48,289 --> 00:16:50,423
to go over and
look at the rushes.
454
00:16:50,424 --> 00:16:52,659
Would you, uh, care to see 'em?
455
00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:55,662
Uh, I'd like to, but I think
I'd better straighten Roger out.
456
00:16:55,663 --> 00:16:57,931
I'd rather watch the rushes.
457
00:16:57,932 --> 00:16:59,867
Okay. Okay.
458
00:16:59,868 --> 00:17:01,635
Major Healey is going
to be very unhappy.
459
00:17:01,636 --> 00:17:03,136
Oh, don't be silly.
460
00:17:03,137 --> 00:17:05,639
You don't really think he's
interested in acting, do you?
461
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,007
Yes, master.
462
00:17:07,008 --> 00:17:09,342
BELLOWS: Oh, just place
those on my desk, sergeant.
463
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:10,410
I will see you on the set.
464
00:17:10,411 --> 00:17:11,778
Yeah, all right.
All right...
465
00:17:11,779 --> 00:17:13,814
[CLEARS THROAT] Um...
Uh, Major Nelson.
466
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:14,948
Yes, sir.
467
00:17:14,949 --> 00:17:16,617
Uh... Major Healey
seems to think
468
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,819
he's a cross between Tony Curtis
469
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,787
and, uh, Alec Guinness.
470
00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,422
The... Oh, well,
Roger is, uh...
471
00:17:22,423 --> 00:17:24,825
Well, I know what he is, major.
472
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,042
I've had a talk
with Mr. Kerr.
473
00:17:26,043 --> 00:17:27,277
Now, are you gonna tell him
474
00:17:27,278 --> 00:17:29,246
he's the worst actor
in the world or shall I?
475
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:30,948
I'll tell him.
I'll tell him, sir.
476
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,232
Well, you better hurry.
477
00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:35,402
He's going all over the base
inviting people to his premiere.
478
00:17:35,403 --> 00:17:37,705
I'll get right on it, sir.
479
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,707
Mm.
480
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:41,709
I don't want any place
too elaborate.
481
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,744
Uh, someplace in Beverly Hills
or Bel-Air?
482
00:17:43,745 --> 00:17:45,345
Yeah, with a lot of grounds.
483
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:47,147
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
484
00:17:47,148 --> 00:17:49,983
Yeah. Yeah, I'd like
a swimming pool...
485
00:17:49,984 --> 00:17:51,218
and a tennis court.
486
00:17:51,219 --> 00:17:52,485
Mm-hm.
487
00:17:52,486 --> 00:17:54,421
And, uh, don't worry
about the price, huh?
488
00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:56,323
You can take it out of
my first week's salary.
489
00:17:56,324 --> 00:17:57,725
[DOOR
CLOSES]
490
00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:58,926
And look, Harry...
491
00:17:58,927 --> 00:18:01,228
you're invited to
all my premieres, huh?
492
00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:03,697
And get on it and get back
to me, right? Okay, Hare.
493
00:18:03,698 --> 00:18:04,865
Right.
Hi, Roge.
494
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,367
That was my Hollywood
real-estate broker.
495
00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:08,468
You don't smoke, do you?
496
00:18:08,469 --> 00:18:10,804
I know. It's not lit.
Oh.
497
00:18:10,805 --> 00:18:12,740
Your... Your eyes
all right?
498
00:18:12,741 --> 00:18:15,042
What? Oh, these. Oh, well,
I've gotta get used to 'em.
499
00:18:15,043 --> 00:18:17,211
You know how your fans are
when they recognize you.
500
00:18:17,212 --> 00:18:19,747
They just mob you.
[LAUGHS]
501
00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:21,615
Roge, I think we ought to
have a little talk.
502
00:18:21,616 --> 00:18:23,516
Oh, I know what
you're going to say.
503
00:18:23,517 --> 00:18:24,885
I know, I know. And...
504
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,553
I'm going to miss you too.
505
00:18:26,554 --> 00:18:28,588
We've... We've been
through a lot together.
506
00:18:29,924 --> 00:18:31,792
You're gonna be able
to leave all this?
507
00:18:31,793 --> 00:18:33,693
"Leave all this?"
I don't wanna leave it all,
508
00:18:33,694 --> 00:18:35,629
but, you know,
when you're talented...
509
00:18:35,630 --> 00:18:37,697
well, I can't be selfish.
510
00:18:37,698 --> 00:18:40,433
I can't disappoint my fans.
511
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:41,701
Roge, you're an astronaut.
512
00:18:41,702 --> 00:18:42,702
I know.
513
00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:45,038
Astronaut, movie star.
514
00:18:45,039 --> 00:18:46,273
I just happen to be gifted.
515
00:18:46,274 --> 00:18:47,274
You know something?
516
00:18:47,275 --> 00:18:48,642
When I build my pool,
517
00:18:48,643 --> 00:18:51,178
I think I'm gonna have it
shaped in the form of a capsule.
518
00:18:51,179 --> 00:18:53,446
Something small with
about 75 girls, you know.
519
00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,015
You're invited to
all my premieres.
520
00:18:55,016 --> 00:18:56,616
Roge...
[PHONE RINGS]
521
00:18:56,617 --> 00:18:58,285
Hey... Excuse me.
Yeah.
522
00:18:58,286 --> 00:19:01,155
Yeah? Wait a minute.
Wh... What was it?
523
00:19:01,156 --> 00:19:02,522
Nothing. You...
524
00:19:02,523 --> 00:19:03,690
I'll talk to you later.
525
00:19:03,691 --> 00:19:06,126
Yeah. Yeah.
526
00:19:06,127 --> 00:19:07,460
Seventy-five rooms?
527
00:19:10,765 --> 00:19:13,233
Harry, I don't need
seven bedrooms.
528
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:15,435
All right... Yeah.
Call you back.
529
00:19:15,436 --> 00:19:17,938
Well, I see that
Major Nelson talked to you.
530
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,673
Oh, yeah.
He's a great guy. Great.
531
00:19:19,674 --> 00:19:22,193
Hm. Frankly, I thought
you'd be a little more upset.
532
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:23,060
Me upset, sir?
533
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,828
Well, I suppose it is something
534
00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:26,764
to be the worst actor
in the world.
535
00:19:27,782 --> 00:19:29,499
"The w-worst actor
in the world?"
536
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,569
I didn't wanna tell you
this, major, but, uh...
537
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:35,472
Mr. Kerr said that he'd never
seen anyone quite like you.
538
00:19:35,473 --> 00:19:39,409
That you... You reminded him of
his old hog-calling days.
539
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:41,745
Oh.
540
00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:45,616
Are you sure he meant me?
541
00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:48,619
I'm sorry, major,
but, uh, I'm afraid so.
542
00:19:50,154 --> 00:19:52,089
W-what happened to the...
543
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,124
masculine quality and looking...
544
00:19:54,125 --> 00:19:55,993
And looking like Rock Hudson?
545
00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:57,227
Yes.
546
00:19:57,228 --> 00:20:00,064
He was quite impressed
with, uh, Major Nelson.
547
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:02,733
But, of course, Major Nelson
wouldn't be interested.
548
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,267
Yeah. Well, I mean...
549
00:20:04,268 --> 00:20:05,769
I mean, who wants
all that glamour?
550
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,804
Hollywood glamour.
551
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:09,039
I mean, you know,
it's just, ha...
552
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,975
Yes. Uh, why don't
you get on
553
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,109
with the report, major?
554
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,110
Oh, yeah.
555
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:14,544
And, uh, I am sorry.
556
00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:17,147
Oh, it's all right.
Nothing at all.
557
00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:31,829
I couldn't tell him.
558
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,330
I just couldn't
tell him, Jeannie.
559
00:20:33,331 --> 00:20:34,898
It would have broken his heart.
560
00:20:34,899 --> 00:20:36,300
Well, what are you going to do?
561
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,467
Well, I don't know.
562
00:20:37,468 --> 00:20:39,236
How do you tell a man
he doesn't have any...
563
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,237
Have any talent?
564
00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:41,905
It'd shatter him. Just...
565
00:20:41,906 --> 00:20:43,707
I know.
566
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,776
I will get Homer Xerxes
to coach him.
567
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:47,377
Uh, yeah, that'll do it.
568
00:20:47,378 --> 00:20:48,779
I'm sure that would
cheer him up.
569
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,280
Yeah. That's...
That's... That's...
570
00:20:50,281 --> 00:20:51,715
[DOORBELL RINGS]
571
00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:55,986
Hi.
572
00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:57,821
Hi. We were just
talking about you.
573
00:20:57,822 --> 00:20:59,022
Oh, really?
Yeah.
574
00:20:59,023 --> 00:21:01,158
You know all this talk
about me being a movie star.
575
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:02,726
Would you like to
meet Homer Xerxes?
576
00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:04,094
[SIGHS] Well, as I was saying,
577
00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:06,296
all this talk about me
being a movie star...
578
00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:09,199
Yeah, well, we... We were just
discussing that, Roge. Uh...
579
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,202
Oh. Oh, you didn't think
I was serious, did you?
580
00:21:12,203 --> 00:21:13,203
You mean, you weren't?
581
00:21:13,204 --> 00:21:14,604
About being a movie star? Yeah.
582
00:21:14,605 --> 00:21:17,007
Oh, did I have
you fooled. Ha.
583
00:21:17,008 --> 00:21:18,909
Oh, that is wonderful news.
584
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,010
I was just playing a game.
585
00:21:20,011 --> 00:21:21,679
There's more
important things in life
586
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,446
than having girls
chasing you around
587
00:21:23,447 --> 00:21:25,082
asking for your autograph.
588
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,417
Roger, I... I can't
tell you how relieved I am.
589
00:21:27,418 --> 00:21:29,119
Well, we'll finish
the picture Monday,
590
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,854
and then we can
get back to work again.
591
00:21:30,855 --> 00:21:33,273
I wonder where I can get another
job as a script supervisor.
592
00:21:33,274 --> 00:21:34,692
[DOORBELL RINGS]
593
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:35,993
I'll get that.
594
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:38,528
Well, I'm... I'm sorry
I-I kidded around, but I...
595
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:41,081
Oh. Uh, hello.
596
00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,682
Hello, Tony.
Oh...
597
00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:45,502
exactly wanted to be an actor...
598
00:21:45,503 --> 00:21:46,503
Hello, Mr. Kerr.
599
00:21:46,504 --> 00:21:48,171
Jeannie.
600
00:21:48,172 --> 00:21:49,673
I wanna talk to you.
601
00:21:49,674 --> 00:21:51,575
Uh... Oh, well, we've
already discussed it.
602
00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,427
Everything's all right.
ROGER: I think...
603
00:21:53,428 --> 00:21:56,246
All right?
Everything's fantastic.
604
00:21:56,247 --> 00:21:58,148
Fantastic?
605
00:21:58,149 --> 00:21:59,429
Did I do something?
606
00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:01,902
I just looked at the rushes.
607
00:22:01,903 --> 00:22:04,637
Do you know you're
the funniest man I've ever seen?
608
00:22:04,638 --> 00:22:06,406
Me?
A natural comic.
609
00:22:06,407 --> 00:22:08,609
The... The way you move,
it's unbelievable.
610
00:22:08,610 --> 00:22:10,159
I didn't spot it till
I saw it on the film.
611
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,396
You could be the biggest
thing in Hollywood.
612
00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:13,663
Me?
613
00:22:13,664 --> 00:22:15,031
Oh, well, he's not interested.
614
00:22:15,032 --> 00:22:16,232
Uh, he's dying to go back...
615
00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:17,601
Wait, wait.
"Not interested?"
616
00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:19,936
Me, the biggest thing
in Hollywood?
617
00:22:19,937 --> 00:22:22,038
I can get you a contract
at Columbia Pictures.
618
00:22:22,039 --> 00:22:23,607
They're casting
a picture right now
619
00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:25,842
that you would be perfect for.
620
00:22:25,843 --> 00:22:27,611
Roger's not
interested. Uh, he's, uh...
621
00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:29,797
We've discussed it.
We're going to the moon.
622
00:22:29,798 --> 00:22:31,532
Are you kidding?
And let my fans down?
623
00:22:31,533 --> 00:22:32,799
[CLAPS HANDS] No, sirree.
624
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,235
Only this time, I wanna pick
my own leading lady.
625
00:22:35,236 --> 00:22:37,371
Ha. I'll start off
with Lollobrigida. That's it.
626
00:22:37,372 --> 00:22:39,373
I want my own...
Pick my own director.
627
00:22:39,374 --> 00:22:41,241
And I want a limousine,
I want a chauffeur.
628
00:22:41,242 --> 00:22:43,043
And I want you to get me
one of those ascots
629
00:22:43,044 --> 00:22:44,044
right around the neck.
630
00:22:44,045 --> 00:22:45,445
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
631
00:22:57,375 --> 00:22:58,842
Are you all right, master?
632
00:22:58,843 --> 00:23:01,077
Mm? Yeah, fine.
633
00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:04,448
Are you unhappy?
634
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:05,515
About what?
635
00:23:05,516 --> 00:23:07,351
Because of Major Healey.
636
00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:09,453
Oh. No, no.
637
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:11,921
No, the space program has
just assigned somebody else
638
00:23:11,922 --> 00:23:14,224
to go up on that mission
with me, that's all.
639
00:23:14,225 --> 00:23:15,225
Well, I will miss him.
640
00:23:16,427 --> 00:23:18,328
Well, we can always
go see him in his movies.
641
00:23:18,329 --> 00:23:20,731
[CHUCKLES]
642
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,732
Major Healey.
643
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,400
Oh. Hi, Jeannie.
Hi, Tony.
644
00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:25,402
We thought you were
leaving for Hollywood.
645
00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:26,703
Oh, me leaving for Hollywood?
646
00:23:26,704 --> 00:23:27,771
Oh, come on.
647
00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:29,773
They wanted me to sign
a seven-year contract.
648
00:23:29,774 --> 00:23:31,775
And we're going up in
the moon shot in six weeks.
649
00:23:31,776 --> 00:23:32,843
Huh?
650
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:34,444
I wouldn't leave.
Are you kidding?
651
00:23:34,445 --> 00:23:36,446
Come on, now. You didn't
believe all that.
652
00:23:36,447 --> 00:23:37,814
Now, come on, now.
Really?
653
00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:39,082
You know I'm not leaving.
654
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:40,884
You're back with us!
Oh!
655
00:23:40,885 --> 00:23:42,318
I wasn't going anyway, now.
656
00:23:42,319 --> 00:23:43,820
I wouldn't...
How could I leave you?
657
00:23:43,821 --> 00:23:44,821
I mean, I would...
658
00:23:44,822 --> 00:23:45,822
Hi, gang.
659
00:23:45,823 --> 00:23:46,890
Oh, hi,
Mr. Kerr.
660
00:23:46,891 --> 00:23:48,975
Just dropped by to say goodbye.
661
00:23:48,976 --> 00:23:50,844
Sorry we lost you, Major Healey,
662
00:23:50,845 --> 00:23:53,814
but, uh, our loss is
the space program's gain, right?
663
00:23:53,815 --> 00:23:55,599
[LAUGHS]
664
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,352
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
This is Miss Gigi Dubois.
665
00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,119
Oh, uh... Anthony Nelson.
How are you?
666
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,321
This is Jeannie.
667
00:24:01,322 --> 00:24:02,756
Hello.
668
00:24:02,757 --> 00:24:04,741
She was going to be
your leading lady.
669
00:24:04,742 --> 00:24:06,309
My leading lady?
670
00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:08,244
Well, I'll tell you what.
671
00:24:08,245 --> 00:24:10,446
If we could back up
the moon shot about seven years,
672
00:24:10,447 --> 00:24:11,764
maybe I could do the contract,
673
00:24:11,765 --> 00:24:13,533
and maybe we could work
together.
674
00:24:13,534 --> 00:24:15,502
And maybe we could make
pictures together.
675
00:24:15,503 --> 00:24:17,004
And then we could
just roll over...
676
00:24:17,005 --> 00:24:19,239
[TALKING
INDISTINCTLY]
677
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,408
Now, uh, R-Roge.
Now, wait a minute...
678
00:24:21,409 --> 00:24:22,876
[BOTH TALKING]
679
00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:29,115
[?]
680
00:24:29,165 --> 00:24:33,715
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