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[?]
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Jeannie.
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[CLEARS THROAT]
4
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Uh, Jeannie.
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00:00:11,394 --> 00:00:12,677
Oh.
6
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Good morning, master, darling.
7
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Oh. Morning, Jeannie.
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Are you ready for breakfast?
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00:00:23,973 --> 00:00:26,074
No, I'm gonna have to skip
breakfast this morning.
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00:00:26,075 --> 00:00:27,508
I'm giving a lecture.
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Oh. The kind
you always give me?
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[CHUCKLES]
No. No.
13
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This is on military strategy.
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00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:34,816
Oh, that sounds
exciting. Ha.
15
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Uh... Uh, what does
it mean?
16
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Militar... Oh.
Oh, it's, um...
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00:00:38,353 --> 00:00:39,955
Well, we study ancient battles
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and, uh, how they were planned,
19
00:00:41,323 --> 00:00:43,291
and the mistakes that
were made, and so forth.
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00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:45,126
Oh, what are you
going to talk about?
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00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:48,463
I'll be talking about the
Napoleonic Wars and Waterloo,
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and the, uh, Russian invasion.
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Oh, I've never heard of them.
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00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,302
You mean, you're not
interested in history?
25
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:57,389
Oh, history is so dull, master.
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Dull?
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00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,909
The Napoleonic Wars?
Uh... Uh, Marat?
28
00:01:01,910 --> 00:01:03,578
Uh, Mme. Pompadour?
Uh...
29
00:01:03,579 --> 00:01:05,913
Marie Antoinette
saying to the starving peasants,
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00:01:05,914 --> 00:01:07,616
"Let them eat cake,"
you call that dull?
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Did she say that
at Waterloo, master?
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00:01:10,803 --> 00:01:12,887
No. No. No, Jeannie.
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Uh, at Waterloo, Wellington
defeated Napoleon Bonaparte.
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Oh, I have heard of Napoleon.
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Oh, really.
I should hope so.
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00:01:19,611 --> 00:01:22,613
As a matter of fact, there's
a picture in here somewhere.
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00:01:22,614 --> 00:01:24,800
Oh, yeah... The... Here...
There's a picture of him.
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JEANNIE: Why does he have his
hand in his jacket, master?
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Well, I don't know why...
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00:01:29,405 --> 00:01:30,505
[SCOFFS]
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Anyhow, he was one
of the greatest generals
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that ever lived.
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He saved France and started
to bring democracy
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to all of Europe.
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And then what happened?
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Well, he was...
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He was badly advised.
48
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He trusted a general
named Pichegru.
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00:01:44,386 --> 00:01:47,221
And this Pichegru later
tried to kill Napoleon.
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I think that it was he
that persuaded Napoleon
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00:01:49,224 --> 00:01:51,325
that he could conquer
the whole world.
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00:01:51,326 --> 00:01:54,428
I wish I could have
just one hour with Napoleon.
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Well, I'll see you.
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[CHATTERING]
55
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[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
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00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,827
Jeannie, what...
What are you doing?
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Look at all the lovely
dresses, master.
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Yes, yes...
Say...
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00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,000
There's Napoleon.
That's Napoleon Bonaparte.
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00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,234
Oh, yes, of course.
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00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:18,536
You said you wished to spend
an hour with him, master.
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Go talk. I didn't know
I could do it now.
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00:02:20,239 --> 00:02:22,507
Oh, you have no medals.
Huh, I don't need...
64
00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:23,775
Need any medals.
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Ah.
Oh.
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[GIGGLES]
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Oh. Thank you.
68
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Oh. Lovely.
Huh?
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00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:31,282
Jeannie, Jeannie...
this is going a little too far.
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Just leave me one.
Oh, no, master.
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No, I mean it. One.
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00:02:34,219 --> 00:02:35,754
[CLICKS TONGUE, WHINES]
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[GIGGLES] Oh, boy.
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00:02:39,358 --> 00:02:41,126
Thank you, Jeannie.
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00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,494
Do you know, this is the
greatest thing you've ever done?
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00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:45,463
Oh. I can change the
whole course of history.
77
00:02:45,464 --> 00:02:46,931
Well, enjoy yourself, master.
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00:02:46,932 --> 00:02:48,800
I... I will go around
and explore the palace,
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00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,101
and look at the dresses.
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[GIGGLES]
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Oh, master, there's
a lovely one. Bye-bye.
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Bye.
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00:02:54,339 --> 00:02:56,107
[CLEARS THROAT]
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Uh, pardon me.
I-I don't mean to intrude.
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00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:02,564
Uh, my name is
Major Anthony Nelson.
86
00:03:02,565 --> 00:03:04,849
You don't know me,
but I certainly know you.
87
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:06,067
You're "the Little Corporal."
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00:03:07,235 --> 00:03:08,515
Execute him.
89
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[?]
90
00:04:02,858 --> 00:04:04,575
[?]
91
00:04:09,648 --> 00:04:10,665
W-wait, wait.
Now, please.
92
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:12,099
I... Take it easy.
93
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,435
I, uh... I don't
mean to offend you, sir.
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00:04:14,436 --> 00:04:16,504
Everybody calls you
"the Little Corporal."
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Those who do regret it.
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00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,924
I have some very valuable
information.
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As a matter of fact,
the fate of Europe
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00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:23,228
may depend on
your listening to me.
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00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:24,646
The fate of Europe?
100
00:04:24,647 --> 00:04:25,680
Who sent you to me?
101
00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:26,981
Uh, well, no one sent me.
102
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I-I... I came with a friend.
103
00:04:28,283 --> 00:04:29,483
Well...
[CLEARS THROAT]
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As a matter of fact,
I was about to deliver
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00:04:31,386 --> 00:04:32,654
a lecture on you this morning.
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A lecture?
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What is this?
Pichegru, get rid of him.
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At once, sire.
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00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,943
Pichegru. P...
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I wouldn't do that
if I were you, Mr. Napoleon.
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00:04:41,413 --> 00:04:43,198
I... This man is about to
assassinate you.
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General Pichegru?
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[CHUCKLES]
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Take him out of here!
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Hold on a minute.
Wait, wait, wait!
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This man amuses me.
I want to speak to him alone.
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Nappy.
Ah, my dear.
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I don't believe we've met.
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Uh, Major, uh...
Oh, N-Nelson.
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00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,831
Major Anthony Nelson.
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00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,632
You're the Empress Josephine,
aren't you?
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00:05:01,633 --> 00:05:04,235
Oh. Oh, I love that
speech you made
123
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:05,636
about, "Let them
eat cake."
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00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:07,305
Oh, that was very kind of you.
125
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:08,739
That was Marie Antoinette.
126
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Oh. Well, I...
I'm sorry.
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00:05:10,709 --> 00:05:12,110
I was never very good
at history.
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[ALL CHUCKLE]
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Come, major.
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00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,815
Tell me some more
of those funny stories.
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[CHUCKLES] Oh, yes.
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Is he not wonderful?
133
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Who is he?
134
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Oh, Major Nelson is a...
An expert on military strategy.
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00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,241
He is?
136
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,508
Oh, yes.
137
00:05:27,509 --> 00:05:29,810
He has some wonderful advice
for Napoleon Bonaparte.
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About what?
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Oh, it...
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has something to do with war.
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00:05:38,554 --> 00:05:39,704
War?
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Hm.
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Well, Major Nelson,
who sent you to me?
144
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,312
Oh, no one sent me to you, sir.
145
00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:51,248
You see, I... I lecture on
military strategy at a...
146
00:05:51,249 --> 00:05:53,518
Uh, well... Never mind.
It... It...
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00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,053
Where did you hear this rumor
148
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,888
about General Pichegru?
149
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,156
I-It's not
a rumor, sir.
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00:05:58,157 --> 00:05:59,006
It's history.
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00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:00,775
History?
Yes, yes.
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00:06:00,776 --> 00:06:02,193
Or at least it will be.
153
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:04,395
What I mean is
you don't have to worry.
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00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:05,646
He's gonna try to kill you,
155
00:06:05,647 --> 00:06:07,449
but you're gonna
have him strangled.
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00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,249
Strangled?
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00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,617
[CHUCKLES] You amuse me.
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00:06:09,618 --> 00:06:11,285
Well, thank you very much.
159
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:13,721
I can't tell you what a thrill
it is to meet you, sir.
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00:06:13,722 --> 00:06:15,323
I mean, well, it's...
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00:06:15,324 --> 00:06:17,842
You don't meet
someone every day who...
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00:06:17,843 --> 00:06:20,879
Who devised a legal code
that's used all over the world.
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00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,130
A legal what?
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00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,431
The Code Napoleon.
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00:06:23,432 --> 00:06:26,351
Your code for abolishing
imprisoning men for debt,
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um, ending slavery,
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00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,889
protecting women's
claims on property.
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00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,524
Those are excellent ideas.
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00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:33,908
You thought of them, sir.
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00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:35,110
Or at least you will.
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00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:36,244
You're a fortuneteller?
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00:06:36,245 --> 00:06:38,712
Oh. No, no, no, no. I'm a...
Or a spy?
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00:06:38,713 --> 00:06:40,949
Yeah, a fortuneteller.
Yes, that's right.
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00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:42,150
Well, major...
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tell me about the future.
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00:06:43,852 --> 00:06:45,286
All right, sir.
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00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:48,540
I can, uh, tell you just about
anything you'd want to know.
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00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,307
Uh, what year is this?
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00:06:50,308 --> 00:06:51,326
You're a fortuneteller,
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00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,011
and you don't know
what year it is?
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00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,062
Well, um...
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00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:01,686
Uh... It's 1803.
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00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,430
Get rid of it.
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00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,165
Get rid of what?
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00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:16,534
Uh, the Republic, sir.
186
00:07:16,535 --> 00:07:19,187
You've been thinking of changing
the Republic into an empire?
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00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,605
Who gave you that information?
188
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,139
Well, that's not important, sir.
189
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:24,659
The important thing is that...
you shouldn't do it.
190
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:25,993
Don't listen to Pichegru.
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00:07:25,994 --> 00:07:28,613
If... If you try to conquer
Europe, you're going to fail.
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00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,615
What else do you know
about my plans?
193
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,216
Uh, well, uh...
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00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,901
Oh, these are
your brothers, aren't they?
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00:07:33,902 --> 00:07:35,336
[CLEARS THROAT]
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00:07:35,337 --> 00:07:38,756
Ah. Oh, yes, you're going to
turn the Batavian republic
197
00:07:38,757 --> 00:07:40,658
into the kingdom of Holland,
198
00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:42,860
and you're gonna give it
to your brother Louis.
199
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,731
And, uh... That's
an excellent idea.
200
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:49,116
You're gonna turn
Hanover and Prussia, um...
201
00:07:49,117 --> 00:07:50,751
over to your brother, Jerome,
202
00:07:50,752 --> 00:07:52,453
and call it...
What was...
203
00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:53,488
Westphalia.
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00:07:53,489 --> 00:07:55,056
Westphalia.
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00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,306
And Joseph is going to get
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00:07:56,307 --> 00:07:58,025
the Bourbon throne
of the two Sicilys.
207
00:07:58,026 --> 00:07:59,110
Why not?
208
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,361
You're a genius.
209
00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:04,032
What I really want to
warn you about is Russia.
210
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,249
What about Russia?
211
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,901
Well, the Russian campaign's
a mistake.
212
00:08:06,902 --> 00:08:08,369
What Russian campaign?
213
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:09,737
You're going to attack it.
214
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,038
Attack Russia?
Are you mad?
215
00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:12,806
Now, you mustn't
go through with it, sir.
216
00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:14,676
If you attack Russia,
you're gonna suffer
217
00:08:14,677 --> 00:08:16,277
one of the worst defeats
in history.
218
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,112
Napoleon, defeated?
Yes.
219
00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:24,168
I'm coming to that.
220
00:08:24,169 --> 00:08:25,553
You're coming to what?
221
00:08:29,274 --> 00:08:30,675
Oh, uh... Uh, Waterloo.
222
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,010
Don't fight Wellington there.
223
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:32,927
If you do, you'll...
224
00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,846
You'll end up
being sent to Elba.
225
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,564
Never mind Elba.
226
00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:38,582
So you think it will
be a mistake
227
00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:40,617
for me to turn Europe
into an empire?
228
00:08:40,618 --> 00:08:42,686
A disaster.
229
00:08:42,687 --> 00:08:44,322
I must think about this.
230
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,557
Well, you'll never regret
talking to me, sir.
231
00:08:46,558 --> 00:08:48,860
We will talk again later.
Join the others.
232
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,328
There's plenty of
food and drink.
233
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,563
Yes, yes. Oh, I've, uh,
been meaning to
234
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:53,664
ask you about, uh...
235
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:56,133
These wool uniforms.
236
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,438
Tell General Pichegru
I want him immediately.
237
00:09:06,428 --> 00:09:08,429
Attack Russia.
238
00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,064
It would be an insanity.
239
00:09:10,065 --> 00:09:11,632
The man is mad.
240
00:09:11,633 --> 00:09:13,367
Mad or a spy.
241
00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:14,735
But who would've sent him?
242
00:09:14,736 --> 00:09:16,203
Russia, of course.
243
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,590
I've been thinking of Russia.
244
00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:25,262
The hungry iceberg waiting
to destroy an unwary army.
245
00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:27,130
And suddenly this clumsy spy
comes to me
246
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,499
and tells me not to attack it.
247
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,168
Oh, why would Russia send
him here to tell you that?
248
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:34,405
For only one reason,
my dear Pichegru.
249
00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:35,639
It could be that the iceberg
250
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,575
is not as terrifying
as it seems.
251
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:41,245
Russia must have
something to fear.
252
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:43,748
And it could only have something
to fear if it's vulnerable.
253
00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:46,650
We will attack!
254
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,097
And it shall be
my greatest victory.
255
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,156
As you wish, sire.
256
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,477
And what shall we do
with this spy?
257
00:10:06,938 --> 00:10:08,155
[BLOWS]
258
00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:11,976
It certainly is a pleasure
meeting you, madam.
259
00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:13,311
Of course.
260
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,745
I've read a great
deal about you,
261
00:10:14,746 --> 00:10:15,913
but I must say,
262
00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:18,015
you're much more beautiful
than your paintings.
263
00:10:18,016 --> 00:10:19,016
Am I?
Yes.
264
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:20,818
[CHUCKLES]
265
00:10:20,819 --> 00:10:21,819
Master?
266
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:22,853
[COUGHS]
267
00:10:22,854 --> 00:10:24,455
May I speak with you
a moment, please?
268
00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:25,490
"Master"?
269
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,558
Yes. Yeah, it's a pet name.
Ah.
270
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:28,826
Would you excuse me, please?
271
00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:29,827
[CLEARS THROAT]
272
00:10:29,828 --> 00:10:31,262
Pardon me.
273
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:32,630
Jeannie, um...
274
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:33,631
I'm busy.
275
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,366
Mm. So I see.
276
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:36,567
Ye... What do
you want?
277
00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:38,669
Master, you wish to change
the course of history.
278
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,171
Yes.
Then I think you have done it.
279
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,439
What do you mean?
280
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,074
You have just talked Napoleon
into attacking Russia.
281
00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:46,210
He thinks you're a spy,
and he's going to kill you.
282
00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:48,179
No, no, no. I'm sure you
misunderstood him.
283
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,880
Yes, he is.
I had a long talk with him.
284
00:10:49,881 --> 00:10:51,549
He was very amenable
to everythi...
285
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:53,017
We... Now, fellas.
Wait a minute.
286
00:10:53,018 --> 00:10:54,018
Wait. Napoleon.
287
00:10:54,019 --> 00:10:55,219
[MAN SPEAKS
INDISTINCTLY]
288
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:56,687
You are new?
289
00:10:56,688 --> 00:10:58,556
Oh, no, no, no.
I am old.
290
00:10:58,557 --> 00:10:59,890
I mean, you are new at my court?
291
00:10:59,891 --> 00:11:01,091
Oh, yes, sir.
292
00:11:01,092 --> 00:11:03,261
But, of course, it is
a very old court. Ha.
293
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:04,428
You are very beautiful.
294
00:11:04,429 --> 00:11:05,863
Oh, thank you.
295
00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:07,798
What is your name, my child?
296
00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:08,832
Oh... Uh, Jeannie.
297
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,034
Jeannie?
Uh-huh.
298
00:11:10,035 --> 00:11:12,136
Well, Jeannie. I would like
to see and talk to you,
299
00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:13,571
and get to know you better.
300
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:15,489
And perhaps, we could
meet later tonight?
301
00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:17,291
Oh. I am afraid not.
302
00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:20,144
Uh... A friend of mine
is in terrible trouble.
303
00:11:20,145 --> 00:11:21,846
I could get your friend
out of trouble.
304
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,114
Oh. No, thank you.
305
00:11:24,115 --> 00:11:27,318
But you are going to be much
too busy worrying about Russia.
306
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,366
[GASPS] Hey, I'm a major.
307
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,268
You guys can't go around
hitting an officer.
308
00:11:44,269 --> 00:11:45,269
What's the matter...
309
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,310
Go in the cell.
Get in there.
310
00:11:49,107 --> 00:11:50,741
What time is this, uh...
311
00:11:50,742 --> 00:11:52,142
[MAKES CUTTING
SOUND]
312
00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:53,477
Dawn.
313
00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:07,326
Sorry, madam. No visitors. Oh.
314
00:12:12,247 --> 00:12:13,514
Wha...?
315
00:12:31,866 --> 00:12:33,100
I'm sorry I am late, master,
316
00:12:33,101 --> 00:12:34,602
but your friend Napoleon
Bonaparte
317
00:12:34,603 --> 00:12:36,003
wanted to talk with me.
318
00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:37,638
Yes?
He asked me to return later.
319
00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:38,839
[GIGGLES]
320
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,374
Well, are you ready
to go home now?
321
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:41,975
Yeah, we can't go now.
322
00:12:41,976 --> 00:12:44,145
Oh, of course we can, master.
323
00:12:44,146 --> 00:12:46,147
No, no. I mean we can't go
and leave Napoleon
324
00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:47,948
in the lurch like this.
325
00:12:47,949 --> 00:12:49,350
Oh, but he thinks you're a spy.
326
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,684
He will not listen to you.
327
00:12:50,685 --> 00:12:52,753
Yeah. That's right.
328
00:12:52,754 --> 00:12:54,054
Jeannie.
Hm?
329
00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,990
You can make him listen.
I?
330
00:12:55,991 --> 00:12:58,109
Yes, yes. Didn't you say
he wanted you to return?
331
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,277
Yes.
332
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,078
Did he seem interested in you?
333
00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:03,581
Well...
334
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:04,715
yes.
335
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:06,367
But you are the only man
that I...
336
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,518
I want you to go to his palace.
337
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:08,953
Oh, but why?
338
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,539
Because you've got to convince
him that if he starts a war,
339
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,040
it's gonna lead
to a catastrophe.
340
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:14,342
Now, you think you can do that?
341
00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:17,795
Oh. But I do not know anything
about war, master.
342
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:18,796
[CHUCKLES]
343
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,598
But you know something
about men.
344
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:21,615
[GIGGLES]
345
00:13:21,616 --> 00:13:22,800
I do.
346
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,451
I want you to flatter him.
347
00:13:24,452 --> 00:13:26,453
He has a tremendous ego.
348
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:29,456
Uh, you've got to make him think
that all of this is his idea.
349
00:13:29,457 --> 00:13:30,691
Jeannie...
350
00:13:30,692 --> 00:13:33,160
this is a tremendously
important mission.
351
00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:35,229
Oh, master.
352
00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:36,763
Are you choosing me
for this mission
353
00:13:36,764 --> 00:13:38,332
because I am the only one
in the world
354
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,034
who can do it?
355
00:13:40,035 --> 00:13:41,335
I'm choosing you
for this mission
356
00:13:41,336 --> 00:13:43,170
because there's
nobody else here.
357
00:13:43,171 --> 00:13:45,289
Now, pop over to the palace
and go to work on him.
358
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:46,990
Go to work on him.
Yes, master.
359
00:13:46,991 --> 00:13:47,991
And do not worry.
360
00:13:47,992 --> 00:13:50,044
I will handle it brilliantly.
361
00:13:50,045 --> 00:13:51,795
And remember, be subtle.
362
00:13:51,796 --> 00:13:53,331
He's got to think it's his idea.
363
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:56,367
Oh, I am probably the most
subtle genie in the whole world.
364
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:57,568
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
365
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:00,737
Oh. That's my girl.
366
00:14:00,738 --> 00:14:01,939
Oh.
367
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,608
What does "subtle" mean?
368
00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:05,976
Go!
369
00:14:10,232 --> 00:14:13,450
Our troops will
march in through here,
370
00:14:13,451 --> 00:14:15,653
toward the soft
underbelly of Europe,
371
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,121
and into the Caucasus.
372
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:18,288
No, Pichegru.
373
00:14:18,289 --> 00:14:19,523
I have changed my mind.
374
00:14:19,524 --> 00:14:20,691
But why?
375
00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:23,260
Russia sits on Europe
like a sleepy bear,
376
00:14:23,261 --> 00:14:25,762
ready to devour anything
that comes near it.
377
00:14:25,763 --> 00:14:27,498
Only a fool would attack.
378
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:30,201
Then what do we do
about this, uh,
379
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,003
Major Nelson, the spy?
380
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,405
We have no proof
that he was sent by Russia.
381
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:36,890
I am back.
382
00:14:36,891 --> 00:14:39,093
Oh, what a pleasant surprise.
Ha-ha.
383
00:14:39,094 --> 00:14:41,495
You have met General Pichegru?
384
00:14:41,496 --> 00:14:42,997
This is Mademoiselle Jeannie.
385
00:14:42,998 --> 00:14:44,798
Oh. You are the one
who is going
386
00:14:44,799 --> 00:14:46,100
to try to kill Napoleon,
387
00:14:46,101 --> 00:14:48,269
and he is going to
have you strangled.
388
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,388
But she's outrageous, sire.
389
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,988
But so beautiful.
390
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:53,424
Oh.
[GIGGLES]
391
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:56,060
Pichegru, would you excuse us?
392
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,778
You, uh...
393
00:14:57,779 --> 00:15:00,364
You would not, uh,
change your mind?
394
00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:02,566
No, call all the plans off.
395
00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:03,984
As you command, sire.
396
00:15:06,521 --> 00:15:07,888
I thought you were not coming.
397
00:15:07,889 --> 00:15:09,456
You said you had
to help a friend.
398
00:15:09,457 --> 00:15:10,924
Oh, but I am helping him.
399
00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:12,626
That is why I am here.
400
00:15:12,627 --> 00:15:13,861
But I don't understand.
401
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:16,163
Oh, Major Nelson
sent me here to work on you.
402
00:15:16,164 --> 00:15:17,081
To work on me?
403
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,332
Yes.
404
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,768
But he said that
I must be subtle.
405
00:15:20,769 --> 00:15:22,553
What does "subtle" mean?
406
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:23,871
It means honest.
407
00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:26,424
It means that you must tell me
everything Major Nelson said.
408
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,825
Oh.
409
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:30,528
Well, he said that
it was very important
410
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,897
that I try to talk you
out of attacking Russia,
411
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,449
but that you must think
that it is your own idea,
412
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:37,890
because you have
a tremendous ego.
413
00:15:38,469 --> 00:15:39,854
Is that subtle enough?
414
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,689
Indeed it is.
415
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,308
Oh, I knew I could do it.
416
00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:46,610
So he's trying to trick Napoleon
417
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,712
into not declaring war.
418
00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:52,450
Any fool can see that
the bear is sleeping.
419
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,085
Oh.
420
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,770
Waiting to fall into the hands
of an invading army.
421
00:15:56,771 --> 00:15:58,789
Nothing shall stop me.
Thank you, my dear.
422
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:00,490
Oh, you are welcome.
423
00:16:00,491 --> 00:16:02,192
What did I do?
424
00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:06,681
You have reminded me
of France's glorious destiny.
425
00:16:06,682 --> 00:16:08,049
[RINGS BELL]
426
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:13,154
Nothing shall stop France
from ruling the world.
427
00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:14,155
Oh.
428
00:16:14,156 --> 00:16:15,355
Arrest this woman.
429
00:16:15,356 --> 00:16:17,058
Oh, am I going to the Bastille?
430
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,059
I'm afraid so.
431
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,593
Oh, thank you.
Mwah.
432
00:16:19,594 --> 00:16:21,994
[LAUGHS] Come along.
433
00:16:34,943 --> 00:16:38,312
["LA MARSEILLAISE" PLAYING]
434
00:16:40,398 --> 00:16:41,432
[KEYS JINGLING]
435
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,141
[GIGGLES] Ah, thank you.
436
00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:46,537
Thank heavens
you're back, Jeannie.
437
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,104
I knew you could do it.
[DOOR LOCKS]
438
00:16:48,105 --> 00:16:50,941
I said to myself...
What went wrong?
439
00:16:50,942 --> 00:16:53,310
Nothing, master.
I was very subtle.
440
00:16:53,311 --> 00:16:54,712
I told him everything.
441
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,112
You... You told him
everything?
442
00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:57,280
It is all fixed.
443
00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:58,615
It's all fixed.
444
00:16:58,616 --> 00:17:00,951
Napoleon has decided
not to attack Russia.
445
00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:02,619
Ha. Good girl.
446
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,755
He is going to attack
a big bear instead.
447
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:07,157
[CHUCKLES]
448
00:17:07,158 --> 00:17:08,459
Oh. Oh.
449
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:11,261
You're kidding.
May we go home now, master?
450
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:12,963
No. What am I
gonna do?
451
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:13,964
[SNAPS]
452
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:15,199
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
453
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,767
I got one last chance.
454
00:17:16,768 --> 00:17:18,068
I've got to get to Josephine.
455
00:17:18,069 --> 00:17:19,069
Oh, believe me, master,
456
00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,738
she's much too old for you.
457
00:17:22,173 --> 00:17:24,241
She's the only one
Napoleon will listen to.
458
00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:26,744
Now, if I can just talk to her,
yeah, I'm sure she'll help.
459
00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:27,911
Oh, master,
460
00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:30,514
would it not be much simpler
if we just went home?
461
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:32,315
No, we can't
leave him like this.
462
00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:33,650
Can you get Josephine here?
463
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:35,185
Well, if that is what you wish.
464
00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:36,553
That is what I wish.
465
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:37,621
[SIGHS]
466
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:40,057
Thank you.
467
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:41,124
Uh, now...
468
00:17:47,381 --> 00:17:48,982
Oh.
469
00:17:48,983 --> 00:17:50,663
You have five minutes.
470
00:17:51,352 --> 00:17:53,153
I received a message
that you wish to see me
471
00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:54,288
about my husband.
472
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,056
The messenger said
it was life and death.
473
00:17:56,057 --> 00:17:58,358
Yes. He's absolutely
right.
474
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,861
Uh... Your husband is about to
make a terrible mistake.
475
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,163
Now, you've got to stop him
from attacking Russia.
476
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:05,833
Oh, I do not mix in His
Majesty's military affairs.
477
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,467
Well, if you don't use
your influence,
478
00:18:07,468 --> 00:18:09,319
he's gonna wind up on Elba.
Elba?
479
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,455
That's the island
where they're gonna exile him.
480
00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:12,890
You are joking.
481
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:14,191
Of course, you won't be there.
482
00:18:14,192 --> 00:18:15,392
He'll be married to Louise,
483
00:18:15,393 --> 00:18:17,144
but still I...
Louise?
484
00:18:17,145 --> 00:18:19,463
He's going to escape from Elba,
raise an army,
485
00:18:19,464 --> 00:18:20,997
and fight Wellington
at Waterloo.
486
00:18:20,998 --> 00:18:22,733
And believe me,
he's going to lose.
487
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,418
Who is this "Louise"?
488
00:18:24,419 --> 00:18:25,785
Well, that's not important.
489
00:18:25,786 --> 00:18:28,188
The important thing is
you've got to convince Napoleon
490
00:18:28,189 --> 00:18:29,356
not to go into battle.
491
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:31,525
How long has he known her?
492
00:18:31,526 --> 00:18:33,460
Who?
Louise!
493
00:18:33,461 --> 00:18:34,928
Gosh, I don't know.
494
00:18:34,929 --> 00:18:36,397
Will you talk to Napoleon?
495
00:18:36,398 --> 00:18:37,964
No.
496
00:18:37,965 --> 00:18:40,167
N... No? But you're
the only chance I have...
497
00:18:40,168 --> 00:18:41,448
Don't you love him?
498
00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:46,373
I love him more
than life itself.
499
00:18:46,374 --> 00:18:49,209
But how do I know that anything
you're saying is true.
500
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,578
Can you prove that they are
going to exile him to Elba?
501
00:18:51,579 --> 00:18:53,580
Well, no, I can't
prove it. I...
502
00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:57,584
Uh, perhaps if you can tell me
who this Louise is,
503
00:18:57,585 --> 00:18:59,853
I could find out
whether you are lying,
504
00:18:59,854 --> 00:19:02,523
or whether you really know
what's going to happen.
505
00:19:02,524 --> 00:19:03,690
You... You mean,
if I could
506
00:19:03,691 --> 00:19:05,559
show her to you,
you'd believe me?
507
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,027
Perhaps.
508
00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:09,096
Her name is Marie Louise,
and she's the daughter
509
00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:11,231
of the empress of Austria.
510
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:13,700
He has never
mentioned her to me.
511
00:19:13,701 --> 00:19:15,702
Do you think you can find her?
[KEYS JINGLING]
512
00:19:15,703 --> 00:19:17,571
Don't worry.
I'll find her.
513
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:18,805
Yeah. Thank you
very much.
514
00:19:18,806 --> 00:19:20,374
Uh... You don't have
a moment to lose.
515
00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:21,841
Have you finished, Your Majesty?
516
00:19:21,842 --> 00:19:23,510
Yes. For now.
517
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,420
Master.
Oh.
518
00:19:33,421 --> 00:19:34,421
How did it go?
519
00:19:34,422 --> 00:19:35,756
Oh, just fine.
520
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,258
I think I finally found
a way to persuade Josephine
521
00:19:38,259 --> 00:19:39,593
that I'm telling the truth.
522
00:19:39,594 --> 00:19:41,061
We can help Napoleon now.
523
00:19:41,062 --> 00:19:43,163
Do you know what I think, master?
What?
524
00:19:43,164 --> 00:19:45,632
That I should have let you
go to your lecture this morning.
525
00:19:45,633 --> 00:19:47,133
Yeah.
526
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:49,303
[KEYS JINGLING]
527
00:19:51,706 --> 00:19:52,706
Ah. Did you
find her?
528
00:19:52,707 --> 00:19:54,141
Oh, mais oui, monsieur.
529
00:19:54,142 --> 00:19:56,943
But first, I want to be very
sure of what you have told me.
530
00:19:56,944 --> 00:19:58,745
This Marie Louise of Austria
531
00:19:58,746 --> 00:20:00,547
and my husband are in love,
532
00:20:00,548 --> 00:20:01,948
and are going to be married?
533
00:20:01,949 --> 00:20:04,017
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
They're madly in love.
534
00:20:04,018 --> 00:20:05,285
[CHUCKLES]
535
00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:06,920
Bring her in.
536
00:20:09,056 --> 00:20:10,624
[BABY GIGGLES]
537
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:12,792
Ah. Ah-
ha-ha-ha-ha.
538
00:20:12,793 --> 00:20:14,027
Hi there, huh?
539
00:20:14,028 --> 00:20:15,629
[MAKES BABY NOISES]
540
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,047
Who... Who's
this? She...
541
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:20,484
This is the princess
Marie Louise of Austria.
542
00:20:22,837 --> 00:20:23,854
Take her away.
543
00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:27,991
Happy guillotine, monsieur.
544
00:20:28,959 --> 00:20:30,927
Hey. Wait. Uh,
wait a minute...
545
00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:32,128
Uh... I-I-I made
a mistake.
546
00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:33,563
I-I got the dates
mixed up.
547
00:20:33,564 --> 00:20:35,432
If you just wait 18 years,
I assure you,
548
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:36,600
they're gonna be married.
549
00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:37,601
Happily.
550
00:20:38,803 --> 00:20:39,870
Ah!
Master.
551
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,371
[SIGHS]
When I was at the palace,
552
00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:43,740
I saw the most beautiful
dresses.
553
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:45,375
Oh, I would love to
have a new dress.
554
00:20:45,376 --> 00:20:46,943
Is that all you
think of, is dresses?
555
00:20:46,944 --> 00:20:48,445
You never take me
to Paris, master.
556
00:20:48,446 --> 00:20:50,414
And while we are here,
let me get one new dress.
557
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,015
Yeah, would you forget
the dresses...
558
00:20:52,016 --> 00:20:53,950
I will be back in a few minutes.
Yeah, but...
559
00:20:55,319 --> 00:20:56,854
Jeannie, you can't leave me now.
560
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,589
They're gonna come for me
any minute.
561
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,541
I'm not kidding.
They're gonna cut my head off.
562
00:21:00,542 --> 00:21:01,592
Now, come on back.
563
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,026
[FOOTSTEPS]
564
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,152
"Major Anthony Nelson,
565
00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:31,422
"by the order of
the Emperor of France...
566
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:32,673
You're bringing a pardon.
567
00:21:32,674 --> 00:21:33,924
Right.
568
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:35,859
[LAUGHS]
569
00:21:36,561 --> 00:21:37,561
I knew it.
570
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:39,296
But...
Yes, yes?
571
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:42,599
First you are being guillotined!
572
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,167
Now, let's go!
573
00:21:44,168 --> 00:21:46,069
I just want you to know
about killing majors.
574
00:21:46,070 --> 00:21:47,187
I happen to be an American.
575
00:21:47,188 --> 00:21:48,505
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
576
00:21:48,506 --> 00:21:49,606
Wait a minute! Wait!
577
00:21:52,944 --> 00:21:53,944
GUARD:
Move! Move!
578
00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,378
Hey, just a minute.
579
00:21:55,379 --> 00:21:57,313
Listen, I want to see a lawyer.
580
00:22:00,751 --> 00:22:02,653
Come on, monsieur.
581
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:03,654
Up, up, up.
582
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,956
Where do you think you are?
583
00:22:05,957 --> 00:22:07,991
Believe me, monsieur.
584
00:22:07,992 --> 00:22:10,044
It will be over
in less than a minute.
585
00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:12,112
I'm not interested
in your timetable.
586
00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:13,797
I demand to see
Napoleon Bonaparte.
587
00:22:13,798 --> 00:22:17,000
You are really not in a position
to demand anything, are you?
588
00:22:17,001 --> 00:22:18,669
Take him, executioner.
589
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,553
Oh!
Come on!
590
00:22:19,554 --> 00:22:21,055
We would like to see you die.
591
00:22:21,056 --> 00:22:22,639
[TONY SHOUTING]
592
00:22:23,824 --> 00:22:26,176
Hey. Hey, you.
Come here.
593
00:22:26,177 --> 00:22:27,928
Listen, you're
making a mistake, fella.
594
00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:29,530
I'm on detached duty to NASA.
595
00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:30,898
Go on! Down!
[GRUNTS]
596
00:22:31,866 --> 00:22:35,302
Monsieur. Do you
have any last words?
597
00:22:35,303 --> 00:22:37,003
Just one.
598
00:22:37,004 --> 00:22:38,772
Jeannie!
599
00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:41,090
[WHIMPERING]
600
00:22:41,091 --> 00:22:42,359
Jeannie...!
601
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,360
Jeannie!
602
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:44,841
Yeah...
[GRUNTING]
603
00:22:50,034 --> 00:22:51,869
Jeannie! Get me
out of here.
604
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,236
Jeannie, where are you?
605
00:22:53,237 --> 00:22:54,404
Here it is, master.
606
00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:55,772
Is it not beautiful?
607
00:22:55,773 --> 00:22:57,374
Oh, yes, it's just gorgeous.
608
00:22:57,375 --> 00:22:59,710
Now, would you mind taking
this thing off of me. Huh?
609
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:00,727
Hm?
610
00:23:00,728 --> 00:23:02,045
Oh.
Yes.
611
00:23:03,230 --> 00:23:04,230
[SIGHS]
612
00:23:04,231 --> 00:23:06,333
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
613
00:23:06,334 --> 00:23:08,234
Uh... Oh, would you
mind? Here.
614
00:23:08,235 --> 00:23:09,469
The ropes too, huh?
Hm?
615
00:23:09,470 --> 00:23:10,470
Oh.
616
00:23:12,573 --> 00:23:14,574
Oh. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
617
00:23:14,575 --> 00:23:17,177
J-Jeannie, can't you
do anything right?
618
00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:19,379
Oh, I am sorry, master, but...
619
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:21,648
after all, I am only human.
620
00:23:29,690 --> 00:23:31,124
What are you writing, master?
621
00:23:31,125 --> 00:23:33,060
Oh, just a minute.
622
00:23:33,061 --> 00:23:34,127
There. Read it.
623
00:23:35,296 --> 00:23:38,499
JEANNIE:
"Able was I ere I saw Elba."
624
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:39,449
Mm-hm.
625
00:23:39,450 --> 00:23:41,451
Huh. Well, what does
it mean?
626
00:23:41,452 --> 00:23:43,120
Oh. Well, when you
spell it backwards,
627
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:45,155
it comes out exactly the same.
628
00:23:45,156 --> 00:23:48,758
"Able was I, E, R..."
629
00:23:48,759 --> 00:23:51,094
Eh... Oh, "I saw"...
630
00:23:51,095 --> 00:23:52,329
[LAUGHS]
Oh. It does.
631
00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:53,330
Yes.
632
00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:55,132
Oh, you're a genius, master.
633
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:56,366
Oh, no.
634
00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:58,501
You know, I'm glad we took
that trip before I gave
635
00:23:58,502 --> 00:23:59,803
that lecture on Napoleon.
636
00:23:59,804 --> 00:24:01,204
Are you. Why?
637
00:24:01,205 --> 00:24:03,807
Well... I was wrong
about one thing.
638
00:24:03,808 --> 00:24:06,243
You remember I said that
Napoleon was a great general,
639
00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:07,244
but he had bad advice?
640
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:08,412
Yes, master.
641
00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:09,479
Well, I was wrong there.
642
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,181
He had... He had
great advice.
643
00:24:11,182 --> 00:24:12,782
He just wouldn't listen.
644
00:24:12,783 --> 00:24:15,718
[BOTH LAUGH]
645
00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:17,620
W-w-what is wrong,
master?
646
00:24:17,621 --> 00:24:19,823
Hm? Oh, it's these darn
wool uniforms.
647
00:24:19,824 --> 00:24:20,824
Oh.
648
00:24:20,825 --> 00:24:21,925
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
649
00:24:21,926 --> 00:24:23,927
Right... Right below
the shoulder blade, huh.
650
00:24:28,198 --> 00:24:30,884
[?]
651
00:24:30,934 --> 00:24:35,484
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