All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie s01e05 GI Jeannie.eng

NARRATOR: Once upon a time

in a mythical place
called Cape Kennedy,

an astronaut named Tony Nelson

went up on a space mission.

The missile went up but
something went wrong,

and they had to bring it down.

Captain Nelson
landed on an island

in the South Pacific,
where he found a bottle.

At least it looked
like a bottle.

But it didn't act like a bottle.

Because in it was a genie.

Oh, not your average,
everyday genie,

but a beautiful genie

who could grant any wish.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Captain Nelson was so
grateful, he set Jeannie free.

Only she didn't want to be free.

You know how it is when
you've been cooped up

in a bottle for 2000 years.

She wanted to have fun.

And she wanted to have
it with Captain Nelson.

So she followed him
back to Cocoa Beach,

a mythical town in a
mythical state called Florida.

And there, in this
house, the girl in the bottle

plays spin the astronaut.

[???]

[GRUNTS]

[SNAPS]

Jeannie. Jeannie.

All right now, Jeannie,
come on out of there.

Now, come on. I mean it.

[HUMMING]

Okay, young lady, this
time you've gone just too far.

[SCREAMS]

All right, now, come on.

[SHRIEKS]

Oh, thou hast tried to drown me.

Oh, yeah? Well...
Well, don't tempt me.

All right, now, what
did you do with them?

What did I do with what, master?

The papers I brought home

from the air base
this afternoon.

The ones you said
were so important?

Yes, yes, those are the ones.

I put them in my desk,
and they're not there.

Well, of course not.

Since you told me
of their importance,

I hid them where
they would be safe.

Jeannie, I told you
never to touch my papers.

I-if they'd been lost,

I'd be in really big trouble.

I put them in a hiding place

where they will never be found.

Well, they're...

They are... Oop.
They are hidden.

Yes, yes, I-I know that.
But where are they hidden?

Um, are they, uh...?

Are they under a cushion?

Um, under the rug?

Uh, um, uh... behind a picture?

In a book? In a purse?

In a hatbox?

Oh, that's it. What?

A suitcase.

I took the small suitcase
from the hall closet. Yes?

And then I very carefully
put the papers inside. Yes?

And then I very
carefully locked it.

Then I very carefully
took the key...

And you very
carefully hid it? Yes.

In a place where
nobody would ever find it.

That is right.

It is right here.

Oh, Jeannie. Please...
don't scare me like that.

You did not think I had lost it?

Oh, well...

you must admit that
you had a little difficulty

in remembering that you had
put the papers in the suitcase.

But I had no
difficulty remembering

where I had hidden
the key to the suitcase.

No, no, that's...
That's true. Mm-hm.

I'm only too glad

to humbly apologize
for doubting you, but...

Oh, wait, master...

If you do not mind, I
would rather have you

humbly apologize after.

After what?

After I remember where
I've hidden the suitcase.

[???]

Uh, no, no. No, thanks, Jeannie.

I've got to get going.

I got a ton of work
waiting for me on my desk.

Will you be home for
dinner tonight, master?

No, I'm afraid not, Jeannie.

Looks like another late session.

Again? Mm-hm.

You have had to work
late every night this week.

Well, I'm assigned to a
pretty important project.

That is because you
are the wisest master

in the whole world.

Listen, I gotta get going.

Have a good day, Jeannie.

Are you not going
to kiss me goodbye?

Now, remember our bargain.

This is a purely
platonic relationship.

Oh, yes. Purely platonic.

And you agreed to
keep it on that basis

because you knew it
was the best way, right?

No. I agreed
because I did not know

what "platonic" meant.

It's another name
for friendship.

Oh.

Um, um, pals. Uh, good buddies.

Then, uh, what about
a friendly kiss goodbye?

Well, I don't suppose
there's any harm in that.

Mm... Mm!

[SIGHS]

You're the best buddy
a buddy ever had.

[GIGGLES]

ROGER: Oh, Tony. Uh...

D-do you have a minute
for a cup of coffee?

Sure, Roge. It'll have
to be a quick one.

Boy, what a depressing
day this figures to be. Phew!

Yeah, I know. This paperwork's

getting me down too.

Ah, it's not the paperwork
that's bugging me.

It's Beverly.

Beverly?

Yeah, Beverly Anderson.

She's a lieutenant in the WAFs.

I met her a couple
weeks ago at the club.

Oh, man.

What a woman.

Oooh. Tony, wanna
know something?

It was love at first sight.

Again?

No, this time I really mean it.

She's everything I ever
looked for in a woman.

Everything.

Well, I'd like to
meet her, Roge.

You can't. Huh?

You can't, you
can't, you can't. Why?

She's in North Africa.

North Africa?

Shipped out this morning.
Shipped out this morning.

There's a big
personnel shortage,

and all new WAF units
are being sent overseas.

Well, that's a
tough break, Roge.

Tough break? It's
a disaster of my life.

I finally flip over a girl
who's crazy about me,

and the day I'm
gonna propose to her,

off she goes to Africa.

Well, how long is
she gonna be gone?

Eight months.

Eight months?

By then, there's bound
to be someone else.

Someone else? There
will probably be dozens.

Well, if Beverly's
so crazy about you,

why would she look
for somebody else?

Who's talking about Beverly?

I was talking about me.

Tony, eight months is
a long time, you know.

We...

Ah.

These girls may not be
Beverly, but they're here.

Now, let's see what we have

in the little old goody book.

And we have Beverly.

[MUMBLES]

And, ah, ah, ah. Uh-huh.

Thanks for cheering me up, Tony.

You've been a real...

Tony?

[MUMBLES]

I thought you would
never get here.

Jeannie, what are
you doing here?

I miss you.

I just left the house.

Oh, but that is when
I miss you most.

No, no. Now, you
gotta get out of here.

Come on, come on.

Oh, may I not stay
for just a few minutes?

No. Absolutely not.

I'm working with highly
classified material.

If anybody sees you, I
could be court-martialed.

Oh, no one will see me.

Yes, they will. My
secretary. And right now.

You have a secretary?

Well, certainly I
have a secretary.

A-and when you work nights,
the secretary is here with you?

Of course.

What does she look like?

She looks like a
45-year-old man.

Your secretary's a man?

Yes. Sergeant Cushing.

Now, come on.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

That's Cushing.

Uh... Um, sergeant,
just, uh, hold on a minute.

I'm on the phone.

I'll, uh... I'll just
be a minute.

Jeannie. J-Jeannie?

Well, wherever you are, just...

stay there, huh?

Uh, come on in, sergeant.

I'm Corporal Burns, captain.

I've been assigned
as your secretary.

Um... what happened
to Sergeant Cushing?

He's been transferred.

Mm-hm.

Um, I-I know this is
rather short notice,

but I hope you won't be too
disappointed in his replacement.

TONY: Oh, no. No.

Well, I feel it's
only fair to warn you

that, uh, this job requires
quite a bit of night work.

Oh...

I'm quite used to that, captain.

[BOTH GIGGLING]

Hey... Well, uh...
Well, I might as well,

uh, show you
where everything is.

This is our supply closet, here.

Mm! What's the matter?

Uh, n-nothing.

I just forgot I had
something in there.

What?

Well, I can't say.

Oh, uh... hush-hush stuff?

Huh?

Uh, hush-hush stuff.

Oh, very hush-hush. Mm.

As a matter of fact,

I'd better take care
of that right now.

Before I start anything new.

Can I help?

I'm cleared for classified
material, you know.

Uh, no, this is not
exactly classified.

I consider it more,
uh, top-secret.

Oh.

Why don't you check back
with me in an hour, hm?

Well, okay.

Bye.

Bye.

[SIGHS]

Jeannie, you can come out...

Jeannie, now, come on out.

Come on.

I am ready when you are, boss.

Boss?

Is that not what your secretary

is supposed to call you?

What are you talking about?

Oh, oh, oh, I see.

Y-you think I've lost my mind.

I'm gonna let you
be my secretary.

I will be a better one
than that Corporal Burns.

And I do not mind
working nights either.

Well, in the first
place, you can't type.

And in the second
place, you can't file.

You can't take dictation.

You can't even sharpen a pencil.

[TYPING]

Well... [CHUCKLES]
How about that?

I'm ready when you are, captain.

I told you I would
be a good secretary.

Good? You're terrific.

You're fantastic.

I get the job, master?

No. No?

Why not?

Because, Jeannie,
this is a military base.

A rather important one too.

And because of security reasons,

they do not use
civilian personnel.

You mean, in order
to be your secretary,

I would have to
join the Air Force.

Mm-hm. And you certainly
wouldn't want to do that.

I think it is a marvelous idea.

Oh, then we could be
together all the time.

Hold on. There's a few facts
you'd better get straight first.

Facts? What facts?

Well, I talked to Roger Healey.

And if you join, you know
where you'd be going?

Where? You'd be going...

You'd be going into the
finest organization in the world.

Oh.

I want you to be proud of me.

I'm going to become
a wonderful WAF.

And I will do it without
using a single genie trick.

[KNOCKS]

WOMAN: Come in.

May I help you, please?

I'm Captain Nelson.

I spoke to you on the
phone this morning.

Oh, of course, captain.

It's a pleasure
to meet you, sir.

Well, this is the young lady
that wants to become a WAF.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, there isn't a
finer, nobler career

you could have chosen.

Would you like to sit down?

Jeannie...

Well, let's get a little
information on her, all right?

Name?

Uh, my last name?

Uh... Nelson.

WOMAN: Nelson.

Oh. Then she's a
relative of yours, sir?

Uh, yes, yes. Sort of.

What relation is
she to you, sir?

Wife. Cousin.

I beg your pardon?

My wife's cousin.

Ah.

Uh, date of birth?

July 1st.

July 1st... Year?

Twenty-one B.C.

WOMAN: Uh-huh. Age?

Fifteen hundred.

And place of birth?

Pompeii.

Pomp...

"Twenty-one B.C.
Fifteen hundred years old."

I-I know I should have been
honest with you, lieutenant.

I am not really 1500.

Oh, I really didn't think so.

[CHUCKLES]

I am 2000. But every
woman lies about her age. Oh.

Now, I-I'm afraid
Jeannie tends to be

a bit of a practical joker.

There's no harm intended.

Just in the spirit
of fun, you know.

She's enlisting in
the WAFs, captain,

not in the Camp Fire Girls.

Why don't you give
us a new application,

and we'll go into another
room and fill it out.

No sense bothering
you with all this, is there?

Well, all right, captain.

Go in the room across the hall.

Well, thank you very much.

Thank you. Jeannie.

Um, um, thanks again.

Are you certain we are
doing the right thing?

Absolutely.

You'll be right
where you belong.

It is here, master. Look!

A letter from the
United States Air Force.

Well, what does it say?

Have you been accepted?

I-I-I do not know.

I'm too nervous to
open the envelope.

Well, all right.
Let's take a look.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[MUMBLING]

Well, what...? What is it?

W... What do they say?

Salute when you
address an officer, recruit.

Recruit?

Mm-hm. You are now a member

of the United States Air Force.

Oh. Is that not wonderful?

And tonight you'll leave
for six weeks' basic training

in San Antonio, Texas.
Now, we can be toge...

I leave for what?

Lackland Air Force Base.
For six weeks' basic training.

That means I will have
to be away from you.

Mm-hm. Yeah, it
does, doesn't it?

Oh, but six weeks is a lifetime.

Oh, Jeannie, it'll pass
before you know it.

For both of us.

Uh, you'll be busy training,
and I'll be busy working.

Yes.

What will your
secretary be busy doing?

Ahem.

Just forget about
Corporal Burns.

Say, you better get some
of your things together.

I do not see why I must go away.

Jeannie, you'll probably
have the time of your life.

Think of the interesting
people you'll meet.

And the wonderful things
you'll see in North Africa.

North Africa? San Antonio.

You'd better get
your gear together.

Yes, sir.

[???]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Recruit Nelson reporting, major.

At ease, recruit.

I've been studying
your aptitude tests,

and the results are amazing.

You're quite a
remarkable young woman.

Thank you.

As you know, these
tests determine

your main interests and ability.

They help us to
place you in the jobs

that you seem best suited to.

Oh, what did you
find out about me?

The average girl
usually shows ability

in several different fields.

But we've given you
five separate tests,

and the answer's
always the same.

It seems there is only one
thing you're qualified to do.

Oh. What is that?

Nothing.

Oh, how can that be?

I don't know.

You have a very high IQ rating.

To say that you're
capable of nothing

just doesn't seem right.

No.

Before you enlisted, you must
have been doing something.

Oh, yes, I was.

What?

Nothing.

Well, we've just got to find
some kind of job for you to do.

I would make a
wonderful secretary

for Captain Anthony Nelson.

[CHUCKLES] Wouldn't
we all, my dear.

Let's see, the hospital
is usually short-handed.

Perhaps you'd make
a good nurse's aide.

A nurse's aide?

Oh, I do not think so.

You have your orders.

Report to Lieutenant
Grant, charge nurse.

And that will be all. Dismissed.

I am truly sorry, colonel.

I-I really do not
know what to say.

Well, I've got plenty to say.

Major Fiefield?

This is Colonel Fenton.

Yes, colonel. What
can I do for you?

You can take back that nurse's
aide you sent over yesterday.

Recruit Nelson?

Oh, really, colonel,
do you think it's fair

to judge a girl after one day?

She needs time to learn.

She's had all the time she's
gonna get in my hospital.

We're supposed to cure
injuries here, not cause them.

Oh, dear. What happened?

She wanted to learn how to
work our traction apparatus,

and some nitwit doctor
let her use him as a patient.

The poor numbskull
wound up with a broken leg.

She broke his leg?

In three places.

Of course, if he had
the brains of a polliwog,

he wouldn't have gone along
with such an asinine idea.

Well, I'm terribly
sorry, colonel.

Tell Nelson to
report to me at once.

With pleasure, major.

Major Fiefield
would like to see you.

Yes, sir.

[BUZZ] Yes?

WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Beg your
pardon, sir, but you're going to be late

for the staff meeting.

Tell them I'll be right there.

And that's really
all there is to it.

I do not think I would make
a very good driver, sergeant.

I want to be secretary to
Captain Anthony Nelson.

Look, take it up
with the president.

I'm here to teach
you to drive a truck.

But what if I scratch the
paint or dent a fender?

This baby's indestructible.

Oh, you couldn't hurt
it if you hit a brick wall.

Okay, recruit, take off.

[REVVING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[CRASH]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

You sent for me, major?

Yes... Um...

Uh, these are the reports
from the various departments

in which you've worked.

I wanted you to hear them.

Yes, ma'am.

From the hospital we
have this comment:

"Dangerous. Approach
with extreme caution."

From the dental lab:

"Strongly urge that
Recruit Nelson be declared

a disaster area."

Sergeant Morgan, the
driving instructor, writes:

"A terrifying experience."

Administration says:

"Should be ideal
for demolition work."

Now today I believe we
worked in communications.

However, I haven't heard
anything from them... so far.

I think you will
get a phone call

as soon as the power
lines are working again.

We haven't found
our little niche yet,

have we, Nelson?

Oh, I want to be secretary
to Captain Nelson...

You have no experience.

You've got to take tests.

Oh, I've already taken them.

When?

Between the jeep
crash and the explosion

at the communication
switchboard.

Here's my score.

I'm afraid you're
just wasting your...

Two hundred and
fifty words a minute!

No one can type that fast.

Oh, that was not typing.
That was dictation.

Oh.

Two hundred and
fifty words a minute...

in longhand?

It is easier to read that way.

I got a score of
400 words in typing.

Unbelievable.

Yeah, I told you I would
make a good secretary.

You'd be the ideal girl
for Colonel Thomas.

Colonel Thomas?

Commanding officer at
Lucas Air Base, North Africa.

Oh, no, no.

I want to be the secretary

to Captain Anthony
Nelson at Cape Kennedy.

I said Colonel Thomas at
Lucas Air Base, North Africa.

Are you sure it was not Captain
Nelson at Cape Kennedy?

Of course, I'm sure.

Is there something
wrong with your hearing?

I distinctly told you to report

to Captain Nelson
at Cape Kennedy.

Yes, ma'am.

That is what I thought you said.

Good morning, corporal.

Good morning, Captain Master.

Jeannie.

Private Nelson, sir.

I've been assigned
as your secretary.

What happened to Corporal Burns?

She has been transferred

to Lucas Air Base, North Africa.

Oh.

This is pretty funny.

Are you really my secretary?

I tried to do it without
any tricks, as I promised.

But I-I do not think the
WAFs are ready for me.

What would you
like me to do first?

Well, first I'd like you
to clean out my desk.

And then I'd like
you to call the airstrip

and find out what flight
I'm taking to Nevada.

Oh, yes, sir. Nevada?

Mm-hm.

Yes, I start training for
Operation Moondrop.

Well, what about me?

Oh, you won't have any problems.

They can always use a
good secretary around here.

B-b-but... I am your secretary.

And I won't need
one where I'm going.

I resign.

Well... Well, you can't.

You just can't.
There's no way out.

I checked.

They only discharge
girls if they're troublesome,

or a disturbing influence,

or prove incompetent
in their work.

[GIGGLES]

You were saying, master?

I was saying, "Welcome
back to civilian life."

[???]

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