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NARRATOR: Once upon a time,
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in a mythical place
called Cape Kennedy,
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00:00:07,088 --> 00:00:10,867
an astronaut named Tony
Nelson went up on a space mission.
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The missile went up,
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but something went wrong,
and they had to bring it down.
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00:00:15,409 --> 00:00:19,622
Captain Nelson landed on
an island in the South Pacific,
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where he found a bottle.
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At least, it looked
like a bottle.
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But it didn't act like a bottle.
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Because in it was a genie.
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Oh, not your average,
everyday genie.
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But a beautiful genie...
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who could grant any wish.
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[???]
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00:00:40,234 --> 00:00:46,308
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Captain Nelson was so
grateful, he set Jeannie free.
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Only she didn't want to be free.
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You know how it is
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when you've been cooped
up in a bottle for 2000 years.
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She wanted to have fun.
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And she wanted to have
it with Captain Nelson.
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So she followed him
back to Cocoa Beach,
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a mythical town
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in a mythical
state called Florida.
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And there, in this house,
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the girl in the bottle
plays spin the astronaut.
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Boy, I wonder what it
is about mental work
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that makes you so hungry.
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I wish I had a cheese sandwich.
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[GASPS]
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[SIGHS]
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Oh, hello, Jeannie.
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Say, you wouldn't fix me a
cheese sandwich, would you?
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I-I'd go down to the
delicatessen myself,
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but if I'm gonna finish this
design before I pick up Melissa,
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I won't have a chance. Melissa?
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Mm-hm. The black-haired witch.
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Hey, you be careful, young lady.
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That happens to be
the girl I'm gonna marry.
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Her vibrations are
all wrong for you.
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Oh. That's funny.
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I kinda like the
way she vibrates.
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She will never make
you happy, master.
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Let's just stick to the
cheese sandwich, Jeannie.
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[SIGHS]
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Well, if this is what
you really wish.
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Mm-hm. That is
what I really wish.
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[BLEATS]
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What's this doing in my study?
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What's the big idea?
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Before one can make
a cheese sandwich,
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one must first make the cheese.
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Yeah. Yeah, that figures.
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[???]
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[???]
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[HUMS]
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MELISSA: Wasn't that fun?
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TONY: Yeah.
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MELISSA: I never
danced so much in my life.
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TONY: Thanks for
driving me home, Melissa.
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I'll, uh... I'll see
you tomorrow.
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I have a wonderful idea.
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Why don't you lure me inside,
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so we can snuggle up
in front of a roaring fire
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with a couple of
hot toddies and, uh...
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talk about our honeymoon?
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Well, I I wish I could,
Lis, but, uh, we better not.
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I'm a terribly
messy housekeep...
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I'll clean it up for you.
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
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Tony!
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Huh?
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You read my mind.
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Oh.
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What?
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You even lit a fire.
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I did?
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Oh! Yeah, I did, didn't I?
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Oh, look at those.
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Hm.
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Hi.
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MELISSA: Seem so nervous.
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Oh, do I? Do I?
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Um, uh... premarital jitters.
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Occupational hazard
for us bachelors.
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MELISSA: Why wait?
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TONY: What?
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Why don't we simply
move up the wedding date?
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Well, yeah, th-that's
a marvelous idea.
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Oh! Oh, Tony.
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[WHISPERING] Wait
till I get you in Jamaica.
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[WHISPERING] I
guess I'll have to, won't I?
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It won't be too long.
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Tony... Yeah?
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May I ask you something? Sure.
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What are we whispering about?
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Whispering?
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Oh. Well, it's just some things
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you don't discuss in public.
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[GIGGLES]
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You mean, the walls have ears?
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Yeah. Something like that.
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You look a little tired.
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Think you better get some rest.
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I'll go.
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Yeah, that's a good idea.
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Hm?
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I mean, you look
tired too, darling.
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You need some rest.
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Of course I will.
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Um, and thanks for being
so understanding, Melissa.
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Good night.
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Good night.
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All right, now,
listen here, Jeannie.
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The black-haired witch is right.
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Thou art very nervous.
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She has upset you.
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She's upset me? What
do you think you're doing?
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Do you really love that one?
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Well, I... I wouldn't be
marrying her if I didn't.
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Well... if this is
what you really want,
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I will try to serve you and
make both of you happy.
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00:04:52,967 --> 00:04:55,645
Oh, we will have a
wonderful honeymoon.
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00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:56,836
N-n-now wait a minute.
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I don't think you
know the ground rules.
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00:04:58,438 --> 00:05:01,117
I am taking Melissa to
Jamaica on our honeymoon.
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00:05:01,031 --> 00:05:03,075
Jamaica.
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00:05:03,014 --> 00:05:05,426
Oh, that sounds nice. We
will have a good time there.
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00:05:05,351 --> 00:05:07,630
I will serve you
ripe figs in bed...
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00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,204
Oh, no, you won't. Dates?
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00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:10,936
No, no. Nothing.
You won't be there.
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00:05:10,887 --> 00:05:12,232
But why?
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No offense, Jeannie,
but on a honeymoon,
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two is company and
three is... [STAMMERS]
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Well, three is just
out of the question.
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00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,584
But I am your...
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00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,238
No, no, no. Melissa
is in, you are out.
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00:05:21,192 --> 00:05:23,470
There is just not enough
room in my life for both of you.
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00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,111
But I take up very little room,
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00:05:25,064 --> 00:05:26,775
and I will make
that one happy too.
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00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:28,406
Oh, boy. That'll be the day.
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00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:31,640
Even if she is the
wrong girl for you.
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00:05:31,529 --> 00:05:32,673
Will you stop saying that.
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00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:34,294
Oh, but it is true.
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00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,294
You will be throwing
your life away.
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00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:37,777
It is not so, and...
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00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,983
And it's my life. And I can
throw it anyplace I please.
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00:05:39,914 --> 00:05:43,726
I could change
myself into a brunette.
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00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,972
How do you like the
Helen of Troy look?
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00:05:45,898 --> 00:05:48,031
Have a nice trip home.
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00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:57,170
Boy. If there's
anything I can't stand,
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it's a nagging genie.
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00:05:58,475 --> 00:06:00,108
[GOAT BLEATS]
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Figures.
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00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,466
MAN: Come in.
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00:06:08,108 --> 00:06:09,484
Hello, Tony. General.
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Lis.
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Tony... Uh, I just
ran into Roger.
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I want you to meet a very
old friend of the family.
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00:06:14,412 --> 00:06:16,123
Grover Caldwell.
Oh, how do you do?
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00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,355
So you're the lucky man.
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00:06:18,285 --> 00:06:19,696
Lis has told me all about you.
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TONY: Oh, has she? Good. Uh...
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00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:23,758
Grover, tell him the news.
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00:06:23,725 --> 00:06:25,736
Captain... after a long
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and honorable military career,
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00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,232
the department has
prevailed upon General Stone
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to turn in his stars
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00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:31,435
for a pair of striped trousers
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00:06:31,405 --> 00:06:32,916
and an attach� case.
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00:06:32,878 --> 00:06:34,189
Turn in your stars? [LAUGHS]
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MELISSA: That's
State Department talk.
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00:06:35,886 --> 00:06:39,732
Meaning that Daddy is
our newest ambassador.
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[GASPS]
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00:06:40,718 --> 00:06:42,296
Well, congratulations, sir.
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That's wonderful news.
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00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,388
Thank you, Tony.
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00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,178
It's a great opportunity
for both of us.
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00:06:46,127 --> 00:06:48,605
Uh, yes, yes.
I'm sure it will be.
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00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:49,870
Us?
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00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,484
Who do you think
he's taking to Europe
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00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:52,749
as his military attach�?
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00:06:52,719 --> 00:06:55,498
Uh, don't get the idea
that it's just because
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00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:57,485
you're going to be the
father of my grandchildren
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00:06:57,423 --> 00:06:59,669
that, uh, you're
getting this plum.
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00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,410
I'd have wanted you
with me in any case.
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00:07:01,359 --> 00:07:03,104
Well, you people
have a lot to talk about,
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00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,033
so I'll just pop off
189
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:05,294
and take care of the passports
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00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:06,241
and clearances.
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00:07:06,224 --> 00:07:07,569
Tony. Oh, yes.
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00:07:07,537 --> 00:07:09,497
Pleasure. General.
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00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:13,601
Uh, sir. Uh, I... Tony?
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00:07:13,488 --> 00:07:15,267
Don't you think it's wonderful?
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00:07:15,218 --> 00:07:16,929
Well, now, slow down. Slow down.
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00:07:16,882 --> 00:07:18,459
I can't - I can't
quit what I'm doing.
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00:07:18,417 --> 00:07:19,861
It's a great opportunity, Tony.
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00:07:19,825 --> 00:07:21,236
Of course it is.
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00:07:21,202 --> 00:07:22,379
Tony just hasn't had time
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00:07:22,353 --> 00:07:23,463
to think about it.
201
00:07:23,441 --> 00:07:25,119
Well, we can all
discuss this at dinner.
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00:07:25,074 --> 00:07:26,251
We are coming to your house
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00:07:26,225 --> 00:07:27,570
for dinner tonight, aren't we?
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00:07:27,538 --> 00:07:28,648
Yes. Yes, of course.
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00:07:28,626 --> 00:07:30,404
But there's nothing
to discuss, Melissa.
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00:07:30,354 --> 00:07:31,464
I'm in the space program
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00:07:31,442 --> 00:07:33,119
because that's
where I want to be.
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00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:35,619
I... I don't mean to
sound ungrateful, sir.
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00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,783
And I know you'll
make a wonderful...
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00:07:37,715 --> 00:07:39,593
A fine ambassador.
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00:07:39,539 --> 00:07:41,417
Well, I'll... I'll
see you both at 7.
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00:07:41,363 --> 00:07:42,673
Congratulations again, sir.
213
00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:44,077
Thank you, Tony.
214
00:07:46,803 --> 00:07:49,037
Frozen peas.
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00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:52,012
Frozen hors d'oeuvres.
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00:07:51,956 --> 00:07:53,834
And, uh, wild rice.
217
00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:55,791
What are you doing,
master? [GASPS]
218
00:07:55,732 --> 00:07:57,777
I'm preparing dinner. Why?
219
00:07:57,716 --> 00:08:00,116
Well, cooking is women's work.
220
00:08:00,469 --> 00:08:02,112
You wouldn't. Would you?
221
00:08:02,068 --> 00:08:03,880
Oh, if you did that,
you'd save my life.
222
00:08:03,828 --> 00:08:05,106
I have a report to finish.
223
00:08:05,077 --> 00:08:06,821
Uh, do you know
anything about cooking?
224
00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:08,617
Everything.
225
00:08:08,565 --> 00:08:09,976
I will take care of it.
226
00:08:09,941 --> 00:08:11,886
You go soak your
body in a warm tub
227
00:08:11,829 --> 00:08:13,006
scented with rose petals.
228
00:08:12,981 --> 00:08:14,325
Yeah. Well, that's a good idea,
229
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:15,570
but I don't think so right now.
230
00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:16,885
Oh, if you want to know anything
231
00:08:16,853 --> 00:08:18,064
about the cooking,
232
00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:19,982
the instructions are on
the back of the boxes.
233
00:08:19,925 --> 00:08:22,037
Uh, you do read, don't you?
234
00:08:21,974 --> 00:08:23,852
Mm-mm. Right
to left, left to right,
235
00:08:23,798 --> 00:08:26,398
top to bottom or
bottom to top. Hm.
236
00:08:26,838 --> 00:08:29,318
Uh, left to right,
top to bottom.
237
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,781
[SIGHS]
238
00:08:57,272 --> 00:08:58,772
[SIGHS]
239
00:08:59,993 --> 00:09:01,025
Hm.
240
00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:03,311
[SNIFFS]
241
00:09:03,289 --> 00:09:05,223
Jeannie?
242
00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:08,911
Jeannie. Jeannie.
243
00:09:08,857 --> 00:09:10,057
Jeannie!
244
00:09:12,825 --> 00:09:15,204
Jeannie, what's
going on down...? Ow!
245
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,429
Ah!
246
00:09:33,819 --> 00:09:35,430
Two thousand years ago
247
00:09:35,387 --> 00:09:37,865
my sister made
better gravy than that.
248
00:09:37,787 --> 00:09:40,000
And she was the worst
cook in the Middle East.
249
00:09:39,933 --> 00:09:41,510
[DOORBELL RINGS]
250
00:09:41,468 --> 00:09:44,013
Oh, that's them.
Melissa's always on time.
251
00:09:43,932 --> 00:09:45,509
Now, I have to take
them out to dinner.
252
00:09:45,468 --> 00:09:47,113
Will you do me a
favor, please, huh?
253
00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:49,548
Will you just stay out of sight?
254
00:09:51,037 --> 00:09:52,670
[DOORBELL RINGS]
255
00:09:54,653 --> 00:09:55,630
Good evening.
256
00:09:55,613 --> 00:09:56,590
Tony. Huh?
257
00:09:56,573 --> 00:09:57,617
Oh, here's your hat.
258
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,376
Keep this, you're not staying.
259
00:09:59,326 --> 00:10:01,204
I've got to apologize
for the burning smell.
260
00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:02,460
It's the dinner.
261
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,876
I never smelled anything
more appetizing in my whole life.
262
00:10:04,799 --> 00:10:06,079
Huh?
263
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,221
Oh, Tony.
264
00:10:12,126 --> 00:10:14,137
Why, it's... It's beautiful.
265
00:10:14,078 --> 00:10:16,156
Uh. Oh, it's nothing, really.
266
00:10:16,094 --> 00:10:18,039
JEANNIE: Captain Nelson!
267
00:10:17,983 --> 00:10:19,461
Who's that?
268
00:10:19,423 --> 00:10:20,400
Who's who?
269
00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:22,728
Huh, now, Melissa.
270
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,133
You don't want to
go in the kitchen.
271
00:10:24,096 --> 00:10:25,816
The wild rice went crazy.
272
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:30,024
TONY: Please, please,
now... Tony. Huh?
273
00:10:30,432 --> 00:10:31,664
Excuse me.
274
00:10:48,353 --> 00:10:49,930
[LAUGHS]
275
00:10:49,889 --> 00:10:53,103
Tony, you never told me
that you had a houseboy.
276
00:10:52,994 --> 00:10:53,971
Oh, no.
277
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,332
No, I-I didn't, did I?
278
00:10:56,258 --> 00:10:58,236
Where did you ever find, uh...?
279
00:10:58,178 --> 00:10:59,421
Uh, what's his name? Kato.
280
00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:00,637
[JEANNIE'S VOICE] Jeannie.
281
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:02,255
Jeannie Kato. Those
look marvelous.
282
00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:03,676
May I?
283
00:11:06,531 --> 00:11:08,174
Fantastic. Try one, Melissa.
284
00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:09,242
Oh, I'd love to.
285
00:11:09,219 --> 00:11:10,362
Why don't you try several?
286
00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:11,517
I'll be with you in a minute.
287
00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:13,452
Jeannie Kato,
these looks beautiful.
288
00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:16,807
Who do you think
you're gonna fool
289
00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:17,915
with this crazy disguise?
290
00:11:17,891 --> 00:11:20,070
It is no disguise. See? Huh?
291
00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:21,248
Ooh!
292
00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,831
If I had a houseboy
that could cook like this,
293
00:11:23,747 --> 00:11:24,825
I wouldn't pull his hair.
294
00:11:24,804 --> 00:11:26,137
[EXHALES]
295
00:11:29,092 --> 00:11:30,570
Marvelous.
296
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:32,076
You must give me
the recipe for this.
297
00:11:32,036 --> 00:11:33,080
What do you call it?
298
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,271
Ragout � la Sinbad.
299
00:11:34,245 --> 00:11:35,622
Why only the recipe?
300
00:11:35,588 --> 00:11:37,132
I think we ought to
take Jeannie Kato
301
00:11:37,092 --> 00:11:39,471
to Europe with us.
302
00:11:39,397 --> 00:11:40,407
Would you like that?
303
00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:42,201
Thou art going to Europe?
304
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:43,227
No. Yes.
305
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:45,072
We'll discuss
this later, Melissa.
306
00:11:46,693 --> 00:11:49,405
I'll be very happy to go
with you wherever you go.
307
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,562
Oh, no, you wouldn't like it.
308
00:11:50,534 --> 00:11:52,512
But he's such a treasure.
309
00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:54,899
And good help is
impossible to get.
310
00:11:54,823 --> 00:11:56,000
Even harder to get rid of.
311
00:11:55,974 --> 00:11:58,018
With dishes like
Ragout � la Sinbad,
312
00:11:57,958 --> 00:12:00,036
our embassy would be
the social center of Europe.
313
00:11:59,974 --> 00:12:01,586
Where in the world did you ever
314
00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:02,686
learn to cook like this?
315
00:12:02,662 --> 00:12:04,674
Where I come from,
it is very common.
316
00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:06,026
Very.
317
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:08,169
Oh. Well, where
do you come from?
318
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,881
Constantinople. Philippines.
319
00:12:09,832 --> 00:12:11,464
Uh, his mother traveled a lot.
320
00:12:18,407 --> 00:12:19,785
Thank you, Jeannie Kato.
321
00:12:19,752 --> 00:12:22,130
That was the best cake I've
ever tasted in my whole life.
322
00:12:22,056 --> 00:12:23,368
Thank you.
323
00:12:23,337 --> 00:12:25,115
I'm sorry you won't
come to Europe with us.
324
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:26,575
Who says he won't? Hm.
325
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,937
We'll talk about
this later, okay?
326
00:12:29,481 --> 00:12:31,725
Well, now, wait a minute.
Kato is not going to Europe.
327
00:12:31,656 --> 00:12:33,501
As a matter of fact,
I'm not going to Europe,
328
00:12:33,449 --> 00:12:35,227
and neither is my
wife going to Europe.
329
00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:38,423
Well... anything
you say, darling.
330
00:12:38,314 --> 00:12:40,058
Good night, Lis.
331
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,287
Good night, Dad. Sir.
332
00:12:42,217 --> 00:12:43,751
Good night.
333
00:12:45,802 --> 00:12:47,447
Dark-haired one
will get her way.
334
00:12:47,403 --> 00:12:49,347
She's very strong-minded.
335
00:12:49,291 --> 00:12:50,668
Just keep out of this, fella.
336
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:52,634
Oh. Uh...
337
00:12:56,811 --> 00:12:59,223
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
338
00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:01,325
Oh. We are going out!
339
00:13:01,259 --> 00:13:03,037
Hm? No. I am going out.
340
00:13:02,988 --> 00:13:04,432
I'm going to a bachelor party.
341
00:13:04,396 --> 00:13:06,508
Oh, what's this
bachelor's party?
342
00:13:06,444 --> 00:13:07,987
Oh, it's an old
tradition, Jeannie.
343
00:13:07,947 --> 00:13:11,226
Before a wedding, a bunch
of happy, carefree bachelors
344
00:13:11,115 --> 00:13:13,328
get together and throw a
party for the groom-to-be.
345
00:13:13,261 --> 00:13:14,305
Oh, I like parties.
346
00:13:14,285 --> 00:13:15,395
You can't come.
347
00:13:15,373 --> 00:13:16,816
But why? [SIGHS]
348
00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:18,225
Because women aren't allowed.
349
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:19,166
Now, smoke out.
350
00:13:19,149 --> 00:13:21,060
But I... Out!
351
00:13:21,005 --> 00:13:22,925
[GROANS] [CLEARS THROAT]
352
00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:28,866
[GIGGLES]
353
00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:32,045
[SIGHS]
354
00:13:32,013 --> 00:13:35,260
A million bottles on the
beach, and I had to pick hers.
355
00:13:35,151 --> 00:13:37,496
[DOORBELL RINGS]
356
00:13:37,423 --> 00:13:39,423
[DOORBELL RINGS]
357
00:13:40,943 --> 00:13:43,176
[DOORBELL RINGS]
358
00:13:51,472 --> 00:13:53,112
[WHISPERS] Get out!
359
00:13:54,991 --> 00:13:56,803
I just got here.
360
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,731
Oh. Well, uh, glad to see you.
361
00:13:59,632 --> 00:14:02,466
Well, is the condemned
man ready for the...?
362
00:14:03,696 --> 00:14:05,674
Wait a minute. You do
look like a condemned man.
363
00:14:05,616 --> 00:14:07,461
Oh, come on. Let's
get this thing over with.
364
00:14:07,409 --> 00:14:09,154
You sound like you're
going to a hanging.
365
00:14:09,105 --> 00:14:10,248
What's the matter?
366
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,370
Nothing. Nothing wrong
with Melissa either. No.
367
00:14:12,305 --> 00:14:13,648
She's a little strong-minded.
368
00:14:13,616 --> 00:14:15,361
Nothing wrong with
that. Of course not.
369
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,358
She's an intelligent,
reasonable girl. Sure.
370
00:14:17,297 --> 00:14:18,441
I'm lucky to have her.
371
00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:20,462
You have last-minute
jitters, haven't you?
372
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:23,242
Come on, we better
get out of here. Yeah.
373
00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:40,890
One hand.
374
00:14:43,955 --> 00:14:46,333
[MEN CHATTERING]
375
00:14:46,258 --> 00:14:47,770
ROGER: Why
don't we just drink up
376
00:14:47,732 --> 00:14:49,610
and forget all the
shoptalk, okay?
377
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,766
Tony. Captain.
378
00:14:50,739 --> 00:14:52,184
How about a toast
to the best man?
379
00:14:52,148 --> 00:14:53,692
Well, thank you
very much, general.
380
00:14:53,652 --> 00:14:54,818
Here's to Grover.
381
00:14:56,116 --> 00:14:57,593
Grover?
382
00:14:57,556 --> 00:14:59,134
Wait a minute. If
he's the best man,
383
00:14:59,092 --> 00:15:00,469
what does that make me?
384
00:15:00,436 --> 00:15:01,781
The astronaut most likely to be
385
00:15:01,749 --> 00:15:03,660
in Port Moresby tomorrow.
386
00:15:03,605 --> 00:15:04,982
We have a very important mission
387
00:15:04,949 --> 00:15:06,059
for you there, captain.
388
00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:07,848
Uh, will you excuse
us, gentlemen?
389
00:15:07,797 --> 00:15:09,641
Yes, of course, sir.
390
00:15:09,589 --> 00:15:11,634
Look, if you'd rather have
him for your best man,
391
00:15:11,573 --> 00:15:13,217
why didn't you just
come out and say so,
392
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,017
instead of having your
own private general
393
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:16,043
ship me off to Australia?
394
00:15:16,022 --> 00:15:17,433
Private general? Wait a minute.
395
00:15:17,398 --> 00:15:18,875
I didn't know
anything about this.
396
00:15:18,838 --> 00:15:20,016
Oh, sure you didn't.
397
00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:21,233
Roger. Roger, wait a minute.
398
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:22,683
I can straighten everything out.
399
00:15:22,645 --> 00:15:24,024
Anything wrong, captain?
400
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:24,967
Huh? Oh.
401
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:26,027
Oh. No, sir.
402
00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:28,384
You're not nervous
about all this?
403
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,622
Oh, well, a little.
404
00:15:29,591 --> 00:15:30,734
You know how it is.
405
00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:32,890
No, I don't. I wish I did.
406
00:15:32,823 --> 00:15:35,801
You know, in all the years
I've been practicing psychiatry,
407
00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:37,781
you're the most interesting
person I've ever met.
408
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,130
Oh, thank you, sir.
409
00:15:39,095 --> 00:15:41,307
Oh, I... I was
speaking clinically.
410
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,251
What do you find so
interesting about me?
411
00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:45,436
Well, you don't fit into
any known category.
412
00:15:45,368 --> 00:15:48,047
One minute you're calm,
the next, you're hysterical.
413
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,505
You can pass the
most difficult test
414
00:15:49,465 --> 00:15:51,108
the Air Force has devised,
415
00:15:51,064 --> 00:15:52,341
and yet, you hear voices.
416
00:15:52,312 --> 00:15:54,958
You're a top scientist, and
you suffer from delusions.
417
00:15:54,873 --> 00:15:57,184
You don't call that interesting?
418
00:15:57,112 --> 00:15:59,024
I can't wait to
put you in a book.
419
00:15:58,969 --> 00:15:59,979
[CLANGS]
420
00:15:59,961 --> 00:16:01,038
You need this.
421
00:16:01,017 --> 00:16:02,228
Oh. Well, thanks.
422
00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:04,179
Well, I'm afraid I have
to be running along now.
423
00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:06,299
But, captain... Yes. Yes, sir?
424
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,277
I'll be seeing you.
425
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,136
Yes.
426
00:16:09,082 --> 00:16:11,127
Well, here we go, lover-boy.
427
00:16:11,066 --> 00:16:12,076
Time to cut the cake.
428
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,502
Oh, yeah, yeah. Where is it?
429
00:16:13,466 --> 00:16:15,377
Gentlemen, gather
round. Come on. Let's go.
430
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,156
[LAUGHS]
431
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,752
[ALL CHEERING]
432
00:16:24,379 --> 00:16:26,045
[WOLF WHISTLES]
433
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,696
What are you doing here?
434
00:16:35,675 --> 00:16:37,353
Oh, I wanted to see
your bachelor party.
435
00:16:37,308 --> 00:16:38,452
Get out of here right away.
436
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:39,405
Oh. Tony.
437
00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:40,365
Sir. General.
438
00:16:40,348 --> 00:16:42,527
Oh, it is nice to see you again.
439
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:43,738
We know each other?
440
00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:44,886
Well, of course.
441
00:16:44,861 --> 00:16:46,939
Oh, you do not remember.
442
00:16:46,877 --> 00:16:48,255
You admired my cake.
443
00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:50,399
Yeah, her cake, her
ca... Oh, her cake!
444
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:51,643
Oh, yes. Yes. It's beautiful.
445
00:16:51,613 --> 00:16:53,591
Tony, I'll see you
Saturday morning.
446
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:55,178
Saturday morning.
Saturday morning?
447
00:16:55,134 --> 00:16:56,544
At your wedding. Eh... Oh, yes.
448
00:16:56,509 --> 00:16:57,486
Yes, of course.
449
00:16:57,469 --> 00:16:58,613
Good night. Good night.
450
00:16:58,589 --> 00:16:59,767
Good night.
451
00:16:59,742 --> 00:17:02,821
He will make an excellent
father-in-law for someone.
452
00:17:02,718 --> 00:17:03,795
Yeah.
453
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:04,951
Salt of the earth.
454
00:17:04,926 --> 00:17:06,770
I hope I'm not
intruding. Hello, Grover.
455
00:17:06,718 --> 00:17:08,195
Jeannie, this is
Grover Caldwell.
456
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:09,201
It is a pleasure.
457
00:17:09,182 --> 00:17:10,327
The pleasure's mine.
458
00:17:10,303 --> 00:17:13,448
Well, by this time
Saturday, you and Melissa
459
00:17:13,342 --> 00:17:15,054
will be honeymooning
in Honolulu.
460
00:17:15,007 --> 00:17:16,184
Jamaica.
461
00:17:16,159 --> 00:17:18,637
Honolulu. Oh, didn't
Melissa tell you?
462
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,470
I'm sorry. I'm
sure she meant to.
463
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:23,061
Well, uh, no, no. It
probably slipped her mind.
464
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:26,822
You and Melissa
are, uh, old friends?
465
00:17:26,688 --> 00:17:28,465
We grew up together.
466
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,628
Melissa and I were
inseparable in those days.
467
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,539
The horse show,
water-skiing... [LAUGHS]
468
00:17:33,441 --> 00:17:35,018
Even went to the
same orthodontist.
469
00:17:34,976 --> 00:17:36,987
By the time we were
ready to take the braces off,
470
00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:38,673
I was on my way to prep school,
471
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,870
Melissa went to West Point.
472
00:17:40,801 --> 00:17:43,346
Just lost track of each
other. Until a few weeks ago.
473
00:17:43,265 --> 00:17:44,843
Oh, Melissa's very fond of you.
474
00:17:44,801 --> 00:17:46,678
She spoke highly of
you at dinner last night.
475
00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:48,370
Oh, I'm very fond of her too.
476
00:17:48,321 --> 00:17:50,065
You know, it's funny
how things work out.
477
00:17:50,017 --> 00:17:52,496
Melissa and I had such
great dreams together,
478
00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:55,230
and now in two days you two
will be honeymooning in Honolulu.
479
00:17:55,138 --> 00:17:56,181
Jamaica. Oh, Honolulu.
480
00:17:56,161 --> 00:17:57,373
Jamaica. Honolulu.
481
00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:59,258
Jamaica. Don't count
on it. I know Melissa.
482
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,180
So do I.
483
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,395
So do I.
484
00:18:04,578 --> 00:18:06,690
[DOORBELL RINGS]
485
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,771
Ow!
486
00:18:08,706 --> 00:18:10,451
Look, I don't know
what you're selling...
487
00:18:10,403 --> 00:18:11,747
Good morning. Morning, Tony.
488
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,292
Come on in. Oh.
489
00:18:13,251 --> 00:18:14,462
Sit down.
490
00:18:14,435 --> 00:18:16,113
I'd rather stand, thank you.
491
00:18:16,068 --> 00:18:17,712
Well, what's on
your mind, Grover?
492
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:20,212
Tony, I think you're
making a terrible mistake.
493
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:21,309
Which one?
494
00:18:21,284 --> 00:18:22,928
I mean, how do you mean?
495
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,362
By not accepting the position
496
00:18:24,325 --> 00:18:26,369
as General Stone's
military attach� in Europe.
497
00:18:26,308 --> 00:18:28,286
It's a unique
opportunity careerwise.
498
00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:30,873
It can only offer enormous
opportunities later on.
499
00:18:30,788 --> 00:18:32,233
Well, I-I'm very thankful
500
00:18:32,197 --> 00:18:33,707
for your concern
about my career,
501
00:18:33,668 --> 00:18:35,914
but frankly, I don't think
it's any of your business.
502
00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:37,889
Well, I feel that whatever
has to do with Melissa
503
00:18:37,829 --> 00:18:39,140
is my business. Huh?
504
00:18:39,109 --> 00:18:41,387
Look, obviously you're
not thinking of her feelings.
505
00:18:41,317 --> 00:18:42,561
And if you were, you would see
506
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:44,010
the enormous opportunity. Okay.
507
00:18:43,973 --> 00:18:45,217
Okay. All right.
508
00:18:45,189 --> 00:18:46,767
I can't handle
this without coffee.
509
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,472
Let me get dressed, and we'll
discuss this over breakfast.
510
00:18:49,382 --> 00:18:51,822
Make yourself...
Make yourself at home.
511
00:18:52,774 --> 00:18:54,074
Ow!
512
00:18:56,391 --> 00:18:58,670
MELISSA'S VOICE: You do love me.
513
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:02,212
You've loved me for a long time.
514
00:19:02,087 --> 00:19:04,521
Why have you kept
it such a secret?
515
00:19:13,288 --> 00:19:17,000
Oh, and I love you too.
516
00:19:16,872 --> 00:19:21,020
I know now I've
always loved you.
517
00:19:20,873 --> 00:19:23,084
There is still time...
518
00:19:23,017 --> 00:19:26,351
to make our dreams come true.
519
00:19:30,729 --> 00:19:32,407
Oh, well, now where were we?
520
00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,801
She's too good for you!
521
00:19:39,817 --> 00:19:42,585
Melissa. Tony.
522
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,008
Grover?
523
00:19:44,971 --> 00:19:46,014
Oh, it's all right, sir.
524
00:19:45,994 --> 00:19:47,338
I think we're gonna be married.
525
00:19:47,306 --> 00:19:48,584
What?
526
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:49,564
That's right.
527
00:19:49,546 --> 00:19:51,491
I've known Grover all my life,
528
00:19:51,434 --> 00:19:53,613
and he waits until the
day before my wedding
529
00:19:53,547 --> 00:19:54,857
to tell me that he loves me.
530
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,405
But I thought you loved Tony.
531
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,563
I did.
532
00:19:58,539 --> 00:20:02,174
But he's just not the
man I became engaged to.
533
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:06,619
I'm-Well, I'm very
disappointed in Tony.
534
00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:09,721
He... He lacks ambition.
535
00:20:09,612 --> 00:20:11,523
Well, we can't all make general.
536
00:20:11,468 --> 00:20:13,212
[LAUGHS]
537
00:20:13,164 --> 00:20:15,810
Well, I know.
538
00:20:15,725 --> 00:20:17,936
All I wanted to do
was to try to help him.
539
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,413
And... And he
seems to resent it.
540
00:20:19,373 --> 00:20:22,719
Well, on the day
before your wedding,
541
00:20:22,605 --> 00:20:23,804
I'd say you have a problem.
542
00:20:27,949 --> 00:20:29,794
Now, listen, Melissa,
there's a few things
543
00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,086
I wanna get straightened out.
544
00:20:31,054 --> 00:20:33,698
In the first place, I don't
want your ex-boyfriend
545
00:20:33,613 --> 00:20:35,258
telling me where I'm
gonna honeymoon.
546
00:20:35,214 --> 00:20:38,093
And I don't like my best
man being picked for me.
547
00:20:37,998 --> 00:20:40,310
And I don't like having
plans made for my future,
548
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,383
when I don't think it...
I brought you a drink.
549
00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:43,763
What? Oh. Thanks, Jeannie.
550
00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:44,937
You must be a mind reader.
551
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,121
Oh, no. No.
552
00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:47,806
I cannot read minds, master.
553
00:20:47,759 --> 00:20:49,603
Oh, but I have a
friend, Nostradamus,
554
00:20:49,551 --> 00:20:50,928
who does a marvelous job.
555
00:20:50,895 --> 00:20:52,006
I bet you do.
556
00:20:51,983 --> 00:20:54,262
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
557
00:20:54,192 --> 00:20:56,552
You know, I'm gonna miss you.
558
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,297
You know, you're, uh...
559
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,924
You're really very nice.
560
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,558
I mean, take this, for instance.
561
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,190
I didn't even have
to ask you for it.
562
00:21:05,104 --> 00:21:06,649
And that dinner you made.
563
00:21:06,609 --> 00:21:09,621
That was fantastic.
564
00:21:09,521 --> 00:21:11,800
Well, of course
it was fantastic.
565
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,573
But it was also delicious.
566
00:21:13,521 --> 00:21:16,633
Well, I'm pleased that
you enjoyed it, master.
567
00:21:16,529 --> 00:21:19,542
Yeah. You're always
thinking of what I like.
568
00:21:19,442 --> 00:21:22,487
You'd never send Roger
to Australia, would you?
569
00:21:22,385 --> 00:21:24,563
And you wouldn't make
plans for my honeymoon
570
00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:26,009
without consulting
me, would you?
571
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:27,435
[DOORBELL RINGS]
572
00:21:28,626 --> 00:21:31,705
Are you expecting
Nostradamus or someone?
573
00:21:31,602 --> 00:21:33,880
[DOORBELL RINGS]
574
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:36,055
Here. You, uh...
You stay out of sight.
575
00:21:35,986 --> 00:21:37,619
I'll get this.
576
00:21:40,339 --> 00:21:41,316
[SIGHS]
577
00:21:41,299 --> 00:21:42,476
Well, speak of the devil.
578
00:21:42,451 --> 00:21:44,296
I mean, we've just
been talking about you...
579
00:21:44,243 --> 00:21:45,954
I mean, I've been
thinking... Come on in.
580
00:21:45,907 --> 00:21:47,006
Tony.
581
00:21:49,012 --> 00:21:50,155
I'm sorry. What?
582
00:21:50,131 --> 00:21:52,276
Uh, for disturbing you so late.
583
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:54,157
But, uh, Grover and
I must talk to you.
584
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,210
Well, as a matter of fact,
585
00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,566
I've been wanting
to talk to you.
586
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:59,311
Uh, Tony. Tony,
now, the simple truth...
587
00:21:59,221 --> 00:22:01,221
Yeah.
- -is...
588
00:22:01,493 --> 00:22:03,137
Grover... Melissa
wants to marry me.
589
00:22:03,093 --> 00:22:04,237
Huh? That is,
590
00:22:04,213 --> 00:22:07,348
[MOUTHS] Melissa
and I want to be married.
591
00:22:08,693 --> 00:22:10,137
I'm sorry, Tony.
592
00:22:10,101 --> 00:22:13,314
It's just that...
well, you're...
593
00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:16,051
You're not the man I
became engaged to.
594
00:22:15,957 --> 00:22:18,402
And I don't think you realize
595
00:22:18,325 --> 00:22:20,303
how much you've changed.
596
00:22:20,246 --> 00:22:22,013
Oh, I know it hurts now.
597
00:22:23,191 --> 00:22:24,534
But in time, you'll realize
598
00:22:24,502 --> 00:22:26,269
it's all for the best.
599
00:22:28,311 --> 00:22:29,755
Well, I hope you two will be...
600
00:22:29,719 --> 00:22:31,063
very happy together.
601
00:22:31,031 --> 00:22:32,575
Thank you, Tony.
602
00:22:32,535 --> 00:22:34,280
I hope you find the right girl.
603
00:22:34,231 --> 00:22:35,709
I'm really not
looking for anyone.
604
00:22:35,672 --> 00:22:37,850
I must say, you're
taking this very decently.
605
00:22:37,784 --> 00:22:39,294
Well... we can't win them all.
606
00:22:39,255 --> 00:22:40,655
What?
607
00:22:41,975 --> 00:22:43,855
Naturally, it'll hurt at first.
608
00:22:47,896 --> 00:22:50,129
I'll just have to
learn to live with it.
609
00:23:00,890 --> 00:23:03,067
Goodbye, Tony.
610
00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:05,202
Bye, Lis. Grover.
611
00:23:16,379 --> 00:23:17,823
Boy, was that close.
612
00:23:17,787 --> 00:23:20,166
Thou wilt never know
how close, master.
613
00:23:20,091 --> 00:23:22,568
Well... things always
work out for the best.
614
00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:23,635
You mean you are not unhappy
615
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,321
that your marriage
was called off?
616
00:23:25,275 --> 00:23:26,920
Unhappy. Unhappy?
617
00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:28,653
Jeannie, this is the
first time in months
618
00:23:28,604 --> 00:23:30,014
I've felt absolutely free.
619
00:23:29,979 --> 00:23:31,178
Oh, boy.
620
00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:35,701
Oh, master, thou
has a lot to learn.
621
00:24:35,804 --> 00:24:38,572
[???]
622
00:24:38,622 --> 00:24:43,172
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