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♪ ♪
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00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:13,313
(no voice)
3
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:18,852
♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:24,557
♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
5
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:27,060
♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
6
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,863
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
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00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:35,101
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
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00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:40,840
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
9
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:46,112
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
10
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:52,385
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
11
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:57,590
♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪
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00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Ripped By mstoll
13
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,861
"And then Mr. Reagan said...
14
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:11,271
"Oh, look, Mommy,
15
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,705
"it's Secretary of State...
16
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:20,113
it's Secretary of State
George Schultz."
17
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:23,016
Boy, Andrew, this
Love Republicans pop-up book
18
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,718
was the best purchase
I ever made.
19
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,421
Make Nancy wave again.
20
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,252
(raspy voice):
"Hi."
21
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,360
Thanks for carrying
my books home, Simon.
22
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,930
I'd carry these books
to the ends of the earth
23
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,131
for you, my dearest.
24
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:40,099
The counter will be fine.
25
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,925
Jennifer, I've been...
26
00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:46,172
Who's the guy?
27
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,241
That's my brother.
28
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,576
Hi.
29
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,669
(quietly):
Don't encourage him, Alex.
30
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:56,716
Simon, it was really nice of you
to carry my books home and all,
31
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:59,119
but I really think
you should be going now.
32
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,653
Jennifer, I've been
in love with you
33
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,922
ever since I spotted you
across the crowded auditorium
34
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,859
during that school bus
safety assembly.
35
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,761
Yes, that was a powerful moment.
36
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:10,463
Tell me you love me.
37
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:13,766
Yuck! I can't take this.
38
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,635
We can't keep
going on like this.
39
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,570
I mean, you're just not my type.
40
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:21,097
It's because
I'm a nerd, isn't it?
41
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,744
Yes.
42
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:28,281
Maybe this would
change your mind.
43
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:31,151
Diamonds.
44
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,119
(chuckles):
Go for it. Go for it.
45
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,590
Simon, you shouldn't
have done that.
46
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:41,427
No, no, it's okay,
my mother won't miss them.
47
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:44,998
Simon, I'm not going to accept
your mother's earrings!
48
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,567
How about her brooch.
49
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,694
Simon, forget it!
50
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:53,506
Will you go with me
to the sophomore dance?
51
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,542
Simon, I said no, all right?
52
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,043
SIMON:
I-I'm not leaving until you
53
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,045
- give me at least a maybe.
- Okay, maybe.
54
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,613
- Really?
- No!
55
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,782
Please, please, please?
56
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:04,511
Don't make me beg.
57
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,288
All right... maybe.
58
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:11,780
Boy, Simon, this is about
as much fun as a bloodletting.
59
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,259
I am one step closer
to paradise.
60
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,353
Until later, my love.
61
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,572
Geez, Jen, you know,
you really shouldn't
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00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,273
lead the guy on like that.
63
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,608
Come on, give him a break,
64
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,710
will you?
Go to the dance with him.
65
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,245
Alex, he's a nerd.
66
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,078
It's true... but he's
a nerd bearing gifts.
67
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:39,519
Who's that guy I saw
skipping across the front lawn?
68
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,887
Oh, that was Simon.
69
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,288
A young gentleman suitor
70
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,791
that I think Jennifer
should consider going out with.
71
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,193
Alex, he's a nerd.
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00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:49,929
He gave her diamond earrings.
73
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:53,399
He did have a certain charm.
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00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,101
I don't need
this kind of pressure.
75
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:58,104
I mean, being in high school
by itself is hard enough.
76
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,106
Oh, stop!
77
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,008
What is so hard
about high school?
78
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,844
High school wasn't
that hard for me.
79
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,836
Yeah, but she actually goes
into the classroom.
80
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,518
I can't believe the social
pressures in high school.
81
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:15,121
I mean, it's not enough
just to be smart anymore.
82
00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,457
Now you have to worry
about what you wear,
83
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,926
who you hang out with,
who you date.
84
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,061
That's what I loved
about high school...
85
00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:25,765
your outward appearance
is everything.
86
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,800
Boy, oh, boy, the streets
are getting dangerous.
87
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,802
We almost got plowed down
by this kid
88
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,772
skipping down
the middle of the street.
89
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,073
Oh, that's Simon.
90
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,742
Yeah, it's
Jennifer's new boyfriend.
91
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,810
- STEVEN: Oh!
- He is not my boyfriend.
92
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,279
I don't even like him.
93
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,148
He likes Jen.
He offered her diamond earrings.
94
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:46,719
Boy, things have sure changed
since I was in high school.
95
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:50,456
Actually, there is this boy
I kind of like in high school.
96
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,659
His name is Roger,
he's a sophomore,
97
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,894
and a total, unmitigated hunk.
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00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:55,928
(sighs passionately)
99
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:57,697
Really?
Have you talked with him?
100
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,029
- Actually, he talked to me.
- (gasps)
101
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:04,737
He's gonna be at the sophomore
dance on Friday night.
102
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:05,772
Are you gonna go?
103
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,607
I can't.
I'm not a sophomore.
104
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,343
I'll probably have to go
to the dumb freshman dance.
105
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:11,444
What's wrong with that?
106
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,546
You are a freshman, aren't you?
107
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:16,082
Dad, you can't go
to your own class dance.
108
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,684
That's so embarrassing.
109
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,420
Oh, of... course, I forgot.
110
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,322
Why not?
111
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,324
Because it's just not done,
that's all.
112
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,459
I mean, girls have to aspire
to something bigger
113
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,760
than their own class dance.
114
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,562
The freshman girls go
to the sophomore dance,
115
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,164
the sophomores go
to the junior dance,
116
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,765
the juniors go
to the senior dance,
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00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:36,326
and the seniors, well, they
hang out at the Jack in the Box.
118
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,376
- MALLORY: Hi, Jen.
- Hi.
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00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,178
What's the matter?
You look kind of down.
120
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,247
Mallory, the sophomore dance
is only two days away,
121
00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:50,550
and no one's asked me to go yet.
122
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:51,651
I've got to go.
123
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,453
I just have to.
124
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,444
Roger's gonna be there.
125
00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:58,691
He smiled near me today.
126
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,693
How close?
127
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,296
Eight lockers away.
128
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:06,065
That's meaningful.
129
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,601
There's nothing like
a smile from a hunk.
130
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,002
I know. It's even better than
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00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:11,404
when you walk
into your classroom
132
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,133
and you see
a movie projector set up.
133
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,666
Yeah. Right.
134
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,947
I've got to go, Mal.
135
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,783
Well, look, you could crash it.
136
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,985
I'd be too scared to.
137
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,687
You could go with Simon.
138
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,323
Yeah, but then I'd have to ditch
him right when I got there.
139
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,925
- I just couldn't do that.
- Yeah, I guess not.
140
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,927
What? What? Couldn't do what?
141
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,863
This is not your area, Alex.
142
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:40,266
Hey, how do you know?
143
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:43,136
Because it involves feelings,
thought and emotions
144
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:46,272
of a nonmonetary nature.
145
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,570
Yeah, you're right.
146
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,879
Jen, I know how important
this is to you, right?
147
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:55,515
So I'm gonna go upstairs,
put my mind to it,
148
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,507
and I won't come back
until I have an answer.
149
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:04,181
We're never gonna see her again.
150
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,395
What's the problem?
151
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:11,831
Don't tell me...
teen problems, right?
152
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,367
You need braces.
153
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,935
Not exactly.
154
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:19,672
You, uh... want
a phone in your room.
155
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,307
No.
156
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:24,210
Need your ears pierced?
157
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,812
No.
158
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,714
Well, you haven't got
any teen problems.
159
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,751
Alex, there's this guy
at school... Roger.
160
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,719
Whenever I see him
in the hallway,
161
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:36,823
I get this kind of
light feeling in my stomach.
162
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,658
Do you ever get that way?
163
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:42,728
It's kind of an excitement
bordering on nausea?
164
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:44,030
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
165
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,227
Whenever I hear the words
"tax-free."
166
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,805
I don't know what happens to me.
167
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,841
I-I get so... I get nervous,
168
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,209
I freeze up.
169
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,677
I can't even speak.
170
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,112
I know the feeling,
I'm telling you.
171
00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:04,048
If Roger were tax-free,
we'd both be deeply in love.
172
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,520
But Roger doesn't
even know I'm alive.
173
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,121
Meanwhile,
Simon won't stop bugging me
174
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:11,090
to go to the dance with him.
175
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,426
Oh, hey, I like that Simon.
176
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,128
I'm telling you, he compensates
for his complete lack
177
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:18,698
of coordination,
poise and social grace
178
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,733
with expensive gifts.
179
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:23,436
Got to love the guy.
180
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,405
Alex, do you think it's okay
to manipulate...
181
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:29,775
Absolutely.
182
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,845
I didn't finish my question yet.
183
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,180
Jen, it doesn't matter.
184
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,815
As a general rule,
185
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:38,951
manipulation is
a great way to go.
186
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:42,188
But what if it
might hurt a person?
187
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,524
If you do it right,
nobody gets hurt.
188
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,626
All right, I'll give you
an example, okay?
189
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,728
Santa Claus.
190
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,230
Right? Nice guy, right?
191
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:54,634
He's cute, yeah.
192
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,802
Now, there he is
every Christmas,
193
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,638
whipping toys down chimneys...
194
00:08:58,638 --> 00:08:59,939
every kid's dream.
195
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,674
Now, he thinks he's doing it
196
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,943
to make all the little
boys and girls happy.
197
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,811
What he doesn't realize...
198
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:10,449
is that he's just a sales rep...
199
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,440
for Mattel.
200
00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,490
What are you
talking about, Alex?
201
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,025
He's a pawn!
202
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,727
He's a pawn
for the big toy conglomerates.
203
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:26,065
He's a big, chubby,
ruddy-faced pawn.
204
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,900
I don't get it.
205
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,436
Jen, Santa is being
completely manipulated
206
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,138
by the toy companies.
207
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,141
But-but-but he's, you know,
flying around with his reindeer,
208
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,143
he's chuggin' eggnog,
209
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:41,013
he's having the yuletide
time of his life.
210
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:45,384
There's only one small flaw
in your theory, Alex.
211
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,385
(chuckles)
212
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:48,220
Yeah? What's that, Jen?
213
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,823
Santa Claus doesn't exist.
214
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,814
(laughs)
215
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,866
(laughs weakly)
216
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:02,925
(trembling):
What are you talking about?
217
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,766
Santa Claus... he doesn't exist.
218
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:21,142
You know, I hate
when people say that.
219
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,229
I'm sorry, Alex.
I thought you knew.
220
00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:32,531
That's all right,
that's all right.
221
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,901
I try to give a little pep talk
in favor of manipulation,
222
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:38,904
and I get my feelings crushed.
223
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,668
It'll work, Jen, okay?
Just trust me.
224
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:56,122
Hello. Simon.
225
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,890
This is Jennifer.
226
00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:01,093
Okay, I'll go
to the dance with you.
227
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:03,696
Hello, Simon?
228
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,687
Are you okay?
229
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,468
Hey, honey, what do you have?
230
00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:11,037
Oh, nothing much.
Just a dress.
231
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,638
I borrowed it
from my friend Jane.
232
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:15,007
Jennifer, let me see this.
233
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,009
Jennifer, this is
not just a dress,
234
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,878
this is a Jocometti original
235
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,880
in an iridescent
emerald green cloqué
236
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,077
from the Rive Gauche
Resort Collection, circa 1984.
237
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,222
Mal, how is it humanly possible
238
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,491
for you to have
all that in your head
239
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:34,755
and nothing else?
240
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:41,701
Jennifer, what is this for?
241
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,537
Nothing much... this, that;
I'll wear it around the house,
242
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,706
maybe to the sophomore dance.
243
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,174
Oh, you're going!
244
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,876
That's great.
Who's the lucky boy?
245
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,446
Oh, um... no one you know.
246
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,148
ELYSE:
Uh, what's his name?
247
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,317
Anthony Quinn.
248
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,386
Yeah.
249
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,389
Zorba?
250
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,158
Isn't he a little old for you?
251
00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:07,793
All right, it's Simon.
252
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,563
Si... well, I-I thought
you didn't like Simon.
253
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,031
I kind of don't.
254
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,033
Then why are you going with him?
255
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,001
Because Alex told me to.
256
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,236
ALEX:
Oh...
257
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,938
Now, wait a minute
Wait a minute.
258
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,272
Don't blame me.
259
00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:22,908
I'd rather you'd go for Zorba.
260
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,376
All right! I'm going with Simon
261
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,645
because I want to go
to the sophomore dance,
262
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,848
and that's the only way
I can get in.
263
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,150
Besides, once I'm there,
anything can happen.
264
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,886
I might bump into Roger.
265
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,755
Oh, Jen,
I'm-I'm really surprised at you!
266
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,923
I mean, you-you must realize
what you're doing.
267
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,426
You're just using Simon
to get to Roger.
268
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,362
Look, this isn't
as one-sided as it seems.
269
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,865
If I go out with Simon,
he'll be happy.
270
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,433
He'll stop bugging me,
271
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,668
calling me all the time,
coming over.
272
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:52,238
Besides, it's not
that big of a deal.
273
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,340
Simon doesn't care
about me that much anyway.
274
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,898
ELYSE:
It's just...
275
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,934
Oh, no?
276
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:05,017
Simon!
What are you doing?
277
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,019
Oh, I just wanted to say that...
278
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,010
Who's the guy?
279
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,560
That's my father.
280
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,395
- How do you do, Mr. Keaton?
- Fine.
281
00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:17,830
It is such a thrill.
282
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,127
Mm-hmm.
283
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:21,600
What, um?
284
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,202
Oh... don't worry
about that, sir.
285
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,271
It's not what it looks like.
286
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,839
I mean, it is a cake.
287
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,741
It's all they had left
at the bakery.
288
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,143
That's a relief.
289
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,780
I always believed that I would
meet a girl like you one day.
290
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:37,016
A girl who saw past
what everyone else saw
291
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,651
and really liked me.
292
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,152
Really liked the me in me.
293
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,588
Congratulations
on being that girl, Jennifer.
294
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,223
- But Simon, I...
- Shh.
295
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:45,524
Not another word, my sweet.
296
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,059
I just want you to know
297
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:49,028
that if I die
at this very moment,
298
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,462
I will die happy.
299
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,453
Oh!
300
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,373
You still happy?
301
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:04,171
(gasps) A little dizzy,
but still happy.
302
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,018
All right, Andrew, you're really
coming along with your reading.
303
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,253
Very proud of you.
304
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:17,122
Thanks. I owe it all to you.
305
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:19,425
Well, let's not get mushy.
306
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:23,295
Okay. What is this word
right here?
307
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:25,286
- "Impeach."
- (quietly): Good.
308
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,468
Isn't that sweet?
309
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,470
It really is.
310
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,706
You know, sometimes I think
we're too harsh on Alex.
311
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,276
He-he's not just a callous,
arch-conservative Republican.
312
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,677
You know, sometimes,
313
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:41,947
he can be a-a warm,
loving son and brother.
314
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,149
Okay, now read this one
with me, okay?
315
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:49,348
BOTH:
"I... am... not... a... crook."
316
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,693
Hey! Hey! Hey! What?
317
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,862
Whatever happened
to books like, uh,
318
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:59,565
The Little Engine that Could,
or The Cat in the Hat,
319
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,300
or The Grinchthat Stole Christmas? This...
320
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,236
Come on, Dad,
this is real reading!
321
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,972
Besides, those other books...
they scare kids.
322
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:09,041
Give 'em nightmares.
323
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,176
I mean, what's scarier...
the Grinch,
324
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:16,048
or, uh, or-or a little
pop-up Richard Nixon?
325
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,584
It's hard to say.
They look so much alike.
326
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,885
(doorbell rings)
327
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,876
I'll get it.
328
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,223
Hi, Simon.
329
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:25,691
Hi.
330
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,661
Oh, my, my!
331
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,963
Aren't you...
aren't you dapper?
332
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,331
Yeah. It's a rental.
333
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,233
Oh.
334
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,534
Ajax Rent-A-Tux.
335
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,102
Yeah. How'd you know?
336
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,871
Well, you've got the bill pinned
to your back.
337
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,706
Yeah.
338
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:44,843
So-so, you... you've also rented
shoes, socks and glasses.
339
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,513
Oh, nothing's too good for
your little girl, Mrs. Keaton.
340
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,606
- Oh, hey, follow me.
- Yeah.
341
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:52,251
STEVEN:
What?
342
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:55,220
I want everyone to see my latest
gift to my beloved Jennifer.
343
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,256
- Look up there.
- What? - What is it?
344
00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:00,359
It's a love message
in skywriting.
345
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:03,295
"Happy... birthday...
346
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,286
Juanita."
347
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,434
- I got a deal.
- That's nice.
348
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:09,635
STEVEN:
It's lovely.
349
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:13,105
It's muy bueno.Muy bueno.
350
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:16,175
You know, Simon,
I like your style.
351
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,210
You're really starting
to grow on me.
352
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,201
And I'm really worried about it.
353
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,482
SIMON:
Ah.
354
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,818
Jennifer's wearing
a Jocometti original
355
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,087
in an iridescent
emerald green cloqué
356
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,488
from the Rive Gauche
Resort Collection,
357
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,191
circa 1984, borrowed from Jane.
358
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,182
ALEX:
Yeah...
359
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:39,798
Well, Simon, what do you think?
360
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,993
There. That's better.
361
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,204
ALEX:
Whoa! Look out! I'll catch...
362
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,873
- Simon.
- Come on, buddy. - Come on.
363
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,932
(slow dance music playing)
364
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,547
Do you want to dance?
365
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:58,951
No. Why would I want to dance?
366
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,486
I don't know.
367
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,855
I mean, it is called
the sophomore dance,
368
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,415
not the sophomore stand-around.
369
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,429
(upbeat pop music plays)
370
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:12,431
- Oh, hi, Jen.
- Hi, Nancy.
371
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,800
Jen, this is Brad Hallahan,
my date.
372
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,668
- Hi, Brad.
Nice to meet you. - Hi.
373
00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:18,771
This is Simon.
What's your last name?
374
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,206
Wickerson. Simon Wickerson.
375
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,474
Simon Wickerson?
376
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:24,176
Don't I know you?
377
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,167
Didn't I beat you up last week?
378
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,782
I don't think so.
379
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,273
But I could pencil you in
for next Wednesday, if you like.
380
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,187
Now, are you sure?
381
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:36,889
I'd never forget a face
like that.
382
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,158
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
383
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,060
It's all right.
If you're sure.
384
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,562
Yeah, well, see you later,
Jen, Simon.
385
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:44,863
JENNIFER:
Bye.
386
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:48,526
So, then, we're on
for next Wednesday, right?
387
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:51,170
(gasps)
388
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,072
It's him! It's him!
389
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,266
Who him?
390
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,644
- Let's dance.
- But you just said...
391
00:17:58,644 --> 00:17:59,633
(Simon grunts)
392
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,673
Hey! Hey!
393
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,326
Yeah!
394
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:18,730
Hi! Hi.
395
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,933
Do I know you?
396
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,491
I've seen you around.
397
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,027
Hey, who's your date?
398
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,909
No one. Uh, he must have
stepped out for a minute.
399
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:32,244
- (Simon clears his throat)
- I...
400
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:33,645
I'll introduce you
when he comes back.
401
00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:34,847
Jennifer.
402
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:38,117
This is your date?
403
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,677
Hey, didn't I beat you up
last week?
404
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,423
Yeah, you did,
as a matter of fact.
405
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:46,325
Yeah, yeah, I really enjoyed it.
406
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,527
Are you free on Wednesday?
407
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,496
No, no, I'm all booked up
on Wednesday.
408
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:53,260
Oh, but perhaps I could fit you
in after the holidays.
409
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,102
He's not really my date.
410
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:59,004
I mean, I'm... available,
411
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:00,873
if you'd like
to dance or something.
412
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,205
What makes you think
I'd want to dance with you?
413
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:06,078
Come on, Roger.
What are you doing
414
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,246
hanging around these dorks?
415
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,747
Dorks? Hey, wait a minute.
416
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,550
There's only one dork here.
That's me.
417
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,018
This is Jennifer Keaton.
418
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,384
She is once, twice,
three times a lady.
419
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,288
Wait a minute...
didn't I beat you up last week?
420
00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:25,130
You did, as a matter of fact.
421
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:28,258
You know, you two could get
the group rate if you wanted.
422
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,397
Come on, Roger, let's dance.
423
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,875
I don't get it, Jennifer.
Why did you say that?
424
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,111
Why did you say
I wasn't your date?
425
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,946
Simon, I only came here with you
426
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,448
so I could get into
the sophomore dance.
427
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:44,850
(Jennifer sighs)
428
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,253
You mean, you-you just used me
for my s-sophomoreness?
429
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:50,856
I thought you were different
than all the others, Jennifer.
430
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,157
I thought you were smarter.
431
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,425
Well, you're not.
432
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:56,724
Boy, will you be sorry
when I grow into my looks.
433
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,067
Okay, big fella,
time to go to sleep.
434
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,969
I don't want to go to sleep.
435
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,338
Well, everybody in the
White House is going to sleep.
436
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,807
Oh, no, they're not.
437
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,810
Oh, no? Listen to this.
438
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:15,681
(imitating Ronald Reagan):
Well, Nancy...
439
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,183
I'm really sleepy
after a long day
440
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:21,414
of punishing naughty Democrats.
441
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,923
Good night, Nancy.
442
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,359
Good night, Admiral Poindexter.
443
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,962
Good night, Ollie.
444
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:33,363
And so ends another night
of Toddler Republican Theater.
445
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,803
It's way past
your bedtime, Andy.
446
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,404
- It's awfully late.
- Yeah.
447
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,039
I know.
448
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:44,343
I stayed awake longer
than President Reagan.
449
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:47,335
Well, that's
no great feat, uh, Andy.
450
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:51,984
Come on, Andy.
451
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,386
I'll take you upstairs
and read you something normal.
452
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,121
I've got just the thing.
453
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,156
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
you're not reading to him
454
00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:00,181
from the Bloomingdale's
catalog again.
455
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,428
If anybody wants me,
I'll be upstairs
456
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,564
trying to piece together
the shattered fragments
457
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:08,567
of my tragic
high school existence.
458
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,235
What happened?
459
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:12,404
It was a complete disaster, Dad.
460
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:15,173
Simon found out
that I only went with him
461
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:17,976
to the sophomore dance
to meet up with Roger.
462
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:22,547
And to top that off,
Roger was horrible to me.
463
00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,517
He was mean.
He was rude.
464
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:27,052
He treated me like...
465
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,782
Like, uh...
like you treated Simon.
466
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:32,858
I hate to say this
when you're...
467
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,059
when you're already hurting,
honey,
468
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:35,927
but what you did wasn't right.
469
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,562
I-I... I think you know that.
470
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:41,433
I don't know what happened.
471
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:45,237
Somehow, Simon's feelings
didn't seem important.
472
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:49,474
It was almost like I didn't
think he had feelings.
473
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:50,942
He really
cares about you, honey.
474
00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,078
I know.
475
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:55,013
I don't know
how I didn't see that.
476
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:58,250
It was hard to miss.
477
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,810
The skywriting was
a sure tip-off.
478
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,790
I feel so terrible.
479
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:09,361
I mean, even after I was mean
to Simon, he stood up for me.
480
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:12,764
I don't think I can ever
look him in the eye again.
481
00:22:12,764 --> 00:22:15,167
Did you at least have a chance
to apologize to him?
482
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,469
I tried, but he ran off so fast,
I couldn't catch him.
483
00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:18,637
(knocking on door)
484
00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:21,340
Oh, well, honey,
now is your chance.
485
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,409
If you want to talk later,
we'll be upstairs, huh?
486
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,104
ELYSE (quietly):
Yeah.
487
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,351
Hi, Jen.
488
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,752
Hi, Simon. Come on in.
489
00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:35,253
I don't have long.
490
00:22:35,253 --> 00:22:37,789
The tux has
to be back by midnight.
491
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:42,060
It's only rented
for three hours.
492
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:44,196
I looked all over for you.
493
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,931
Where'd you go?
494
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:47,699
I went across
to the freshman dance.
495
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:49,468
There was no one there.
496
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:52,960
So I danced with Miss Polniki,
the school nutritionist.
497
00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:58,377
Look, Simon, I'm really sorry
what happened tonight.
498
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,679
I shouldn't have done
what I did.
499
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,414
It was mean.
500
00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:05,212
But believe me, I got a big dose
of mean right back.
501
00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,286
Could you ever forgive me?
502
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:10,255
Yes.
503
00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:11,823
Really?
504
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:13,992
Yes. I forgive you.
505
00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:16,228
I see you for what you are.
506
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,564
Not what you were at the dance,
but what you are right now.
507
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,133
Know why?
508
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,431
Because I am highly evolved.
509
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:29,074
So, then,
we can start over, right?
510
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,876
I mean, just as friends.
511
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:33,578
It would be a lot cheaper.
512
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,280
See, I had a great time tonight.
513
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,616
I got to be seen
at the dance with you.
514
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:39,851
It did a world of good
for my prestige.
515
00:23:39,851 --> 00:23:43,218
And it was a real honor for me.
516
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:48,059
Believe me, Simon,
the honor was all mine.
517
00:23:48,059 --> 00:23:50,495
You are one of the sweetest,
518
00:23:50,495 --> 00:23:52,898
nicest guys
I'll ever go out with.
519
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:57,102
Hey, how'd you like
an ankle bracelet?
520
00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:01,106
It's my Mom's, but I think
I can get it off her leg.
521
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,869
She's a heavy sleeper.
522
00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:35,407
MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
523
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:36,533
(Ubu barks)
524
00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:46,500
Ripped By mstoll
37418
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