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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,361 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:13,313 (no voice) 3 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:18,852 ♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪ 4 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:24,557 ♪ And I bet we'll be together for a million more ♪ 5 00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:27,060 ♪ Oh, it's like I started breathing ♪ 6 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,863 ♪ On the night we kissed ♪ 7 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:35,101 ♪ And I can't remember what I ever did before ♪ 8 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:40,840 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 9 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:46,112 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 10 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:52,385 ♪ And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through ♪ 11 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:57,590 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 12 00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:00,388 ♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪ 13 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:06,000 Ripped By mstoll 14 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,667 Mom, Dad... 15 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,736 ELYSE: Hmm? 16 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,933 Nick and I have some wonderful news to share with you. 17 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,010 No! No. 18 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,779 Don't say it! 19 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:21,781 Please. 20 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,750 No. 21 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,252 Do you want to tell 'em? 22 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,921 Uh, no, you tell 'em. 23 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,024 Nobody tell 'em. 24 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,026 Mom, Dad, Jen... 25 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,221 Nick got a job. 26 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,633 Oh, thank God! 27 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,624 I love this boy. 28 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,505 We're real proud of you, Nick. 29 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:48,274 How long do you think you can hold it? Uh... 30 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,344 What-what kind of job is it? 31 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:56,716 I sell... light bulbs to people over the phone. 32 00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:00,587 Sounds more like a practical joke than a job. 33 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,122 Come on, Nick. Show 'em how you do it. 34 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,423 Uh, uh, uh, uh, all right, 35 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:06,559 but I have to follow this standard procedure here. 36 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:08,728 Okay. "Number one: Before dialing, 37 00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,798 be sure to be seated comfortably in your chair." 38 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,100 - MALLORY: Okay. - (Nick clears his throat) 39 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,169 You're doing great, Nick. 40 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,160 You're a natural at this. 41 00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:22,709 Okay, I, uh, I'm seated, I'm comfortable. 42 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,544 There's only one problem now. 43 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,034 What? 44 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,605 I can't reach the phone. 45 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,587 Nick, why don't you try it without the chair? 46 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,789 You're an artist. You can improvise! 47 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,525 - Come on! - Well, all right. 48 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:40,927 You know, it-it's not company policy, but I'll just 49 00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,629 - give it a shot here. - STEVEN: Yeah. 50 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,964 I'm just gonna pick a client from my list here, 51 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,232 and, uh, dial. 52 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,868 - This is so exciting! - (Nick clears his throat) 53 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,069 (clears his throat) 54 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,038 Uh, hello, uh, Mrs. Bianco. Hey. 55 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:54,374 (Nick laughs) 56 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:57,577 Uh, how would you like to buy some light bulbs? 57 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:58,978 MALLORY: Hm? 58 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:00,446 NICK: Oh. 59 00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:03,609 Oh, well, hey, I-I'm real sorry about that, ma'am. 60 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,853 Oh, she had some good arguments. 61 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,754 I mean, for one thing, she wasn't Mrs. Bianco. 62 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:12,292 Hey... It's late. 63 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,526 I-I got to get going. 64 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,929 My company's having a big employee seminar... 65 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,497 "Japanese Lanterns: 66 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,733 They are not just for parties anymore." 67 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,335 Oh, wow. 68 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,870 I'll walk you out. 69 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,740 Alex isn't home yet? 70 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,043 No, honey, he's still at the library with Lauren. 71 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,011 Wall Street Week is starting. 72 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,947 He's gonna miss it. 73 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,882 Don't worry. They wouldn't start without him. 74 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,183 (Steven laughs) 75 00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:40,320 It's a special show about coin collecting. 76 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,422 Well, maybe he forgot it was on. 77 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:45,124 What am I saying? 78 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:46,559 He has to see it. 79 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,095 We're going to the coin fair on Saturday. 80 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,863 Why don't you go in and start watching, 81 00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,632 and when Alex gets here, he'll join you. 82 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,634 No, no, no! 83 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,769 That's not how it works. 84 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:59,372 We always watch it from the beginning. 85 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:02,170 We like to sing the theme song. 86 00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:10,450 Um, well, here, I'll-I'll watch it with you. 87 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,985 ALEX: Hey. 88 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,686 - Hi, honey. Hi, Lauren. - Hi. 89 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,455 Alex, you're late for Wall Street Week. 90 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,956 Andy's in there waiting for you. 91 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,391 Oh, yeah. Couldn't be helped, Mom. 92 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,559 Couldn't be helped. 93 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:20,727 It's a big psychology lecture. 94 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,888 I didn't want to miss it. You know me. 95 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,698 Oh. What was it about? 96 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,467 A favorite professor of mine was lecturing 97 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:30,003 on the cognitive powers of African baboons. 98 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,471 Oh, it sounds interesting. 99 00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,506 Why was Alex there? 100 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:36,342 Because I'm a very supportive boyfriend, Mom. 101 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,344 Lauren's interests are my interests. 102 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,813 She wanted me to be there, so I went. 103 00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:43,283 Means a lot to her. 104 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,511 I'm impressed. 105 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:50,079 Oh, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 106 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,026 Alex, hurry! 107 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,328 Wall Street Week is starting! 108 00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:58,264 Ooh, listen, uh, I'm going to skip it today, okay, pal? 109 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,300 But I already made the popcorn, 110 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,064 and the cash register's all heated up. 111 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,642 Yeah, well, uh, you know, Lauren's here, so... 112 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:13,146 But we always watch it together. 113 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,416 Well, I know we do, but, uh, Lauren's not always here. 114 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,179 Yes, she is. 115 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:24,724 So, Lauren, how-how's your psychology study coming? 116 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,159 Oh, I think it's going very... 117 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,328 Oh, very, very well. Very well. 118 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,863 Uh, she's doing a fantastic job. 119 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,854 Have you decided to have Alex committed yet? 120 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,739 Want to go in the other room and play, Alex? 121 00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:41,974 No, not-not... not right now, Andy. 122 00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,077 But we always play before dinner. 123 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:47,171 I know, I know, Andy, but we don't always have company. 124 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,217 You know, Lauren, I was reading a little Jung yesterday, 125 00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,418 and I was really fascinated 126 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,721 by his use of dreams in psychoanalysis. 127 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,489 Can you analyze dreams? 128 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,759 Can she analyze dreams? 129 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,750 She... she's like Carnac. 130 00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,966 Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, show 'em. 131 00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,668 Analyze something. 132 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,704 You know, um... I had a dream last night. 133 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,306 I... (laughs) 134 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:16,036 I, uh... I-I did, I did. I, uh... 135 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,248 I... I was walking down the street, 136 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:24,250 and suddenly, I noticed, um, 137 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,252 I didn't have any clothes on. 138 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,287 (laughs) 139 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,278 That's gross, Dad. 140 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,531 S-So, I just, uh... I just ran around, 141 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:42,368 hiding behind cars, trying to find my clothes. 142 00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:44,570 Was I in this dream? 143 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,572 Um, well, yes you were. 144 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:50,076 You were playing racquetball with Dwight Eisenhower. 145 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,511 But, but, oh... 146 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:54,414 let's-let's stick to my part. Uh... 147 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,416 What do you make of this, Lauren? 148 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,750 Is there any hope for my dad? 149 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,952 Well, dream analysis is very complex. 150 00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,455 Um... but if I had to take an educated guess, 151 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:04,123 I would say that this dream shows 152 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:05,792 that your Dad's trying to hide something. 153 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,561 And there's a part of him he doesn't want anyone to see, 154 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,062 which is probably why he has that beard. 155 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,231 Or maybe not. 156 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,666 - No, no, no... - I'm just a student! 157 00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:15,067 - No, no, that's fine. - You know, I can be completely wrong. 158 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,068 - In fact, I know I am. - STEVEN: No, you're... 159 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,604 No, you're right. Obviously. 160 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,972 How about this, Lauren? 161 00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:22,275 Is she my little Miss Freud or what? 162 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,911 And she can take a perfectly innocent-looking dream 163 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,712 about a man running around naked 164 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:29,482 while his wife plays racquetball with a former president, 165 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,117 and use it to prove 166 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,416 that that same man has deep-seated abnormalities. 167 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,690 Abnormali? What's abnormal? 168 00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:39,592 - All I did was look for my clothes! - ELYSE: Uh, Steven, 169 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:42,094 uh, Steven, can-can we talk about this in private? 170 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,996 Of course! Of cour... Why? Are you worried? 171 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,265 (Steven stammers) 172 00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:48,034 Well, I... It's... 173 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,025 I'm fine. 174 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:59,011 No. I-I... I just want you to tell me what / was wearing. 175 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,314 A lovely sunflowered tennis dress. 176 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,349 Uh, ruffles; very pretty. 177 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,418 And-and President Eisenhower? 178 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,787 The same dress. 179 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,756 And were you furious! 180 00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,658 Time to play yet? 181 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,027 Uh, uh, no, no, not yet, Andy. 182 00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:17,697 I had a dream. It was really weird. 183 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,967 I... I was in the mall, and, uh, 184 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:24,604 and I went into my favorite store, and I bought this... 185 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,773 I bought this really beautiful red leather jacket 186 00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:30,409 that I've wanted for the last two months. 187 00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:35,014 What do you think that could mean? 188 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,518 I think it means you really wanted to buy the jacket. 189 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,509 Wow! I... 190 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:51,397 Uh, hello. Um, hello, Mr. Bowman. 191 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:55,128 Hi. I'm Nick Moore, and I really want to sell you... 192 00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:57,703 (clearing his throat): Ah! 193 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,540 Thought I had him there for a minute. 194 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,208 Boy, I thought so, too. 195 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:05,711 I-I bet he's praying you'll call him back. 196 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,146 - (doorbell rings) - ALEX: I got it! 197 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,181 I got it! I got it! I got it! 198 00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:11,350 I got it. 199 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:12,552 - Hey. - Hey. 200 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,719 Whoa, whoa! 201 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,122 Not in front of the you-know-whos. 202 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,657 Oh, Alex, let her kiss you. 203 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,750 Get it while you can. 204 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,796 Nice jacket, Mallory. 205 00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,898 Oh. 206 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,466 STEVEN: Hi, Lauren. 207 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,634 - ELYSE: Hi, Lauren. - Hi. 208 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:29,835 Where are you guys off to? 209 00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:31,370 Little touch football game at McKinley Field. 210 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:32,972 A bunch of us play every Saturday. 211 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,507 - Just a friendly game. - Whoa, whoa. 212 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,808 Yeah, yeah, it was a friendly game 213 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,276 till I was invited to play. 214 00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:39,278 (grunts) Whoa. 215 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,370 Oh. 216 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,884 Sorry. Just a reflex. 217 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,886 Yeah, let's just keep it a friendly game, yeah. 218 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,789 Uh, oh, um, um, by... 219 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,992 by-by the way, Lauren, um, I-I just want to mention, uh, 220 00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:54,994 I had another dream last night. 221 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,097 Um, this time, I had all my clothes, 222 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,333 but I didn't have my beard. 223 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,368 I'm really happy for you, Mr. Keaton. 224 00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:04,704 That's real progress. 225 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,572 (Steven laughs) 226 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:09,175 Yeah, we'll see you. We'll see you. 227 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,243 Have a good time. 228 00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:13,646 (Steven sighs) 229 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:17,850 Dad, you have the weirdest dreams. 230 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:21,320 Uh, uh, uh, maybe so, but this explains a lot to me. 231 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,089 Well, how-how is, uh... how's that, Nick? 232 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:28,686 Well, last night, I dreamt that I had your beard. 233 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,357 Oh. 234 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,902 Where's Alex? 235 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:38,671 He went to play football with Lauren, Andy. 236 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,440 But he's supposed to take me to the coin fair. 237 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,942 It's today. 238 00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,844 - Oh. Oh, no! Oh! - STEVEN: Oh, wait. 239 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:46,835 (car engine revving, Steven speaks quietly) 240 00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:51,083 Oh, Andy, I'm-I'm sorry. 241 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,853 I'm-I'm sure it just slipped his mind. 242 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,582 He wouldn't do anything to hurt you. 243 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,982 Oh... Andy... 244 00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,931 You're bad, Alex! A bad, bad boy. 245 00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,500 (high-pitched): I'm sorry, Andy. 246 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,901 Don't hurt me! 247 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:09,890 (gulps) 248 00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,578 What's this? 249 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,414 Stuff. 250 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,150 This is all stuff that Alex gave you. 251 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,913 I'm giving it back. 252 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:35,895 The See-It, Say-It Book of Ohio Tax Laws? 253 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,591 Would you help me get this picture down? 254 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,460 Come here, Andy. Come here. 255 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,177 I understand why you'd feel hurt. 256 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,146 You two had planned a wonderful outing together, 257 00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:56,382 and-and he went running off somewhere else. 258 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,751 It was going to be just a very special day, 259 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,553 just you and your big brother. 260 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,188 He forgot all about it. 261 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,748 Now I'm really depressed. 262 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,629 - Hey, guys. - MALLORY: Hi, Andy. 263 00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:13,332 Well, how are you feeling, Andy? 264 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,768 JENNIFER: Hi, Andy. 265 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,037 Andy... don't worry about Alex. 266 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,873 See, sooner or later, Lauren's gonna come to her senses 267 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:25,444 and send him packing, then he'll be all yours again. 268 00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:27,379 And if he doesn't come back, 269 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,212 this is your chance to grow up normal. 270 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,352 - STEVEN: Andy... hey... - Andy, look, 271 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,221 if you don't want to go to the coin fair, 272 00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:36,956 there are lots of other things we can do. 273 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,091 We can go to the mall. 274 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,193 We can go shopping. 275 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,684 We could get makeovers. 276 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,099 Nah. 277 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,201 Hey, hey, hey, hey, look, 278 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,771 little guy, you know, I'm real sorry you're upset 279 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,006 and, uh... I hope this cheers you up. 280 00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:57,169 I know it's not much, but, uh, here's a bug light. 281 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,146 ALEX: Hey, hey, so this 282 00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:01,580 is where everybody is! Hey, Andy. 283 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,616 Andy, what's the matter? 284 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,685 (sighs): Alex, today... today was the big coin fair. 285 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:08,554 You promised to take Andy. 286 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,723 Oh... no. 287 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,291 I forgot. 288 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,226 And you broke a little boy's heart. 289 00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,796 Way to go, Alex. 290 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,763 ELYSE: All right, all right, everybody, 291 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,431 find something else to do, 292 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,830 preferably in another room. 293 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,767 I-I didn't mean you, Steven. 294 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,510 Yeah, right, right. 295 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,841 (sighs) 296 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,551 Andy? 297 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,553 Andy, listen, uh... 298 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,087 I'm-I'm really, really sorry, buddy. 299 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,490 I'm sorry I forgot about the coin fair. 300 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,958 It was just an accident. 301 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,660 He feels so left out, honey. 302 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,328 He just loves you so much. 303 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,663 All right, know what I'm gonna do? 304 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,097 I'm gonna make it up to him. 305 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,732 I'm gonna make it up to him tomorrow. 306 00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:55,601 Lauren and I were gonna take him out anyway. 307 00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,002 We got the perfect thing planned. 308 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,137 What are you gonna do? 309 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:01,473 Gonna go to a lecture on campus. 310 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:04,067 Oh, I'm sure he'll love that. 311 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,146 On second thought, um... 312 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,882 uh, we'll go to Playland. Huh? How does that sound? 313 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:13,452 We'll go on some rides, play some video games... huh? 314 00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:15,654 What do you think of that, Andy? 315 00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:18,557 Could I have cotton candy? 316 00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,326 All you want. 317 00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:23,625 Will I have to pay for you again? 318 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:31,403 Hey, hey, 319 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,206 isn't this the best fun, huh? 320 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,575 Got my favorite guy, got my favorite girl. 321 00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:38,644 Alex, you're leaning on my hair. 322 00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,346 Oh. Sorry. Whoa. 323 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:43,148 You know, I see a lot of potential in this relationship. 324 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:46,518 You guys are like... you're like a Hope and Crosby for the '80s. 325 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,654 So let's get a little chatter going, huh? 326 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:52,291 Uh, uh, Lauren, you want to... ask Andy some questions? 327 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,293 Alex, this isn't The Dating Game. 328 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:57,096 Just let the conversation happen in a more natural way. 329 00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:00,432 Well, come on, what's more natural than a middleman? 330 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:03,135 Andy, why don't you tell Lauren a little bit about yourself... 331 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,404 hobbies, you know, career goals, 332 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,973 what you look for in a woman. 333 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,708 I'm thirsty. 334 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,543 He's opening up. 335 00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,612 Do you want a soda, Andy? I'll get it. 336 00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:14,780 What's your favorite flavor? 337 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:15,814 Orange. 338 00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:17,149 One orange soda coming up. 339 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,851 Okay, all right! 340 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,654 Well, what do you think? Is she a great girl? 341 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,656 Why is she here? 342 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:27,059 Well, I-I told you yesterday, she was gonna be here. 343 00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,687 I thought you were kidding. 344 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,599 Here's your soda, Andy. Orange. 345 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,601 I didn't want orange, I wanted root beer. 346 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,761 I hate orange. 347 00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:39,838 I'll get you a root beer. 348 00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,374 Ginger ale. 349 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:43,876 Right. 350 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,011 No, wait a minute, wait a minute, Lauren... Andy... 351 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:48,681 Andy, you said orange. I was here, I heard you. 352 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,182 Now, what's the deal here? 353 00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,884 We're supposed to be having fun. 354 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,579 No. 355 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:57,323 Look, there's no reason to get upset, okay? 356 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,224 I'll just get you a ginger ale. 357 00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:01,627 No, I'll get the ginger ale... uh, you guys stay, 358 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,618 just get better acquainted. 359 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,269 Look, Andy, 360 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,071 I'm really sorry about the fact 361 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,306 that you missed the coin fair yesterday. 362 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,909 Alex and I were playing football and he forgot. 363 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,207 He feels real bad about it, too. 364 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:22,448 Alex is a very special guy... 365 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:24,817 I can see why you like him so much. 366 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,615 He's okay. 367 00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,357 Oh, dinosaurs. 368 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,759 Oh, I've always liked dinosaurs. 369 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,294 Oh, yeah? I don't like 'em. 370 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,663 They're dumb. 371 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,164 Hey. 372 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,499 Hey, don't let me interrupt. 373 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,334 Just wanted to bring you ginger ale. 374 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,902 Come on, keep the chatter going. 375 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:45,337 You guys are cookin'. 376 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,272 I'm gonna go play Space Invaders. 377 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,711 (Alex groans) 378 00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,480 I don't know, Lauren. 379 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,548 Andy... Andy is really a very sweet kid, 380 00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:57,750 you know, he's very special. 381 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,852 I-I, I wish you could see that side of him. 382 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,353 Well, you know, this is gonna take time. 383 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,454 You can't force things. 384 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:04,857 I like to force things. 385 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,825 Don't worry, it'll come. 386 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,729 Look, right now, he's just having 387 00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,898 a very common psychological reaction for children. 388 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,234 I've read all about this... he's feeling threatened, 389 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,836 so he's trying to get your attention by misbehaving. 390 00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:19,605 Right, right. So what do I do? 391 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:22,631 I don't know. That's next semester. 392 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,078 Hey, hey, 393 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,312 hey, Andy... An... Whoa! 394 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,680 Andy, stop it, stop it. 395 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:29,948 Hey, stop it. 396 00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:31,917 What's going on here? What are you doing? 397 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,786 Leave me alone! You don't love me anymore! 398 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,120 You just love her! 399 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,989 - LAUREN: Andy... - Go away! Go away! 400 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,980 He's my brother! 401 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:45,397 So, then I find myself walking down the street. 402 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,099 The, uh... 403 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:50,202 the same... 404 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:54,206 the same street as in my last dream... 405 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:58,110 only... only this time, I'm wearing only a beret 406 00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,908 and a Miss Wyoming banner. 407 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,486 - I have to go upstairs now... - No, wait... 408 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:08,487 Wait, wait, there's more. 409 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:09,855 (door opens) 410 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,356 I got it! I... 411 00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:13,692 Oh, well, how'd the day go? 412 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,861 It didn't work. 413 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,596 It just didn't work. We tried everything. 414 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,998 We played Space Invaders. We ate cotton candy. 415 00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:24,336 I spent 45 bucks at Pokerino trying to win him a giraffe. 416 00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:26,805 - He's still miserable. - ELYSE: Well, you can't expect 417 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,774 to win him back all at once, honey. 418 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,976 He's really going through a tough change here. 419 00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:32,711 God, I feel guilty. 420 00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:35,047 Coming between you and your brother. 421 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,649 Oh, don't you start with me. 422 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,244 I took you to Playland. You had cotton candy. 423 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:46,158 Look, I know there's a problem here, okay? 424 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,683 The question is: How do we solve it? 425 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,597 Come on, you guys, you're parents... 426 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,133 you've seen this one before; what do we do? 427 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,734 Well, he's a kid, you know? 428 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,504 It's hard to make him really understand what's going on. 429 00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:01,940 He's easily confused by the things that you do. 430 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,272 Actually, we all are. 431 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,481 (Alex sighs) 432 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,058 - Hi. - Hi. 433 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:23,962 Sorry things didn't work out at Playland. 434 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:26,865 Me, too. I'm out 45 bucks. 435 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:29,857 I didn't even get the giraffe. 436 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:36,675 That was a loan, all right? 437 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,506 I told you, I'll pay you back. 438 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,549 Listen... 439 00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,984 I know that we're going through... 440 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:49,755 a kind of tough adjustment right now... 441 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,757 but you got to remember... 442 00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,559 that I love you, okay? 443 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,294 I love you very much. 444 00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,729 I always will. You know, you're my brother, 445 00:19:57,729 --> 00:20:00,566 and nothing is gonna change that. 446 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:03,969 You just have to remember that I care about Lauren, too. 447 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,605 Why? 448 00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:07,839 Because... 449 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,875 because she's smart, 450 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,277 she's sweet, she's very nice. 451 00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:15,804 What does she have that I don't have? 452 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,651 I'm gonna be honest with you, Andy. 453 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,642 A lot. 454 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,792 Um, and she's a girl, you know? 455 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,994 It's different with girls. 456 00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:32,631 I find her very... very attractive. 457 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:34,622 I'm attractive. 458 00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,773 No argument, no argument. 459 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,742 You are. You are. 460 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,577 Uh, it's-it's just that, 461 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,213 uh, Lauren makes me feel very special. 462 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:50,549 I can do that. 463 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:53,746 Andy, we're getting into a very tricky area here. 464 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:59,591 Uh, okay, look, when I'm around Lauren... 465 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,593 I want to hug her, you know? 466 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,128 I want to kiss her. 467 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:05,931 We do that, too. 468 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:10,435 She eats all her vegetables and she goes to bed on time. 469 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,426 She wins. 470 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:18,277 Look, Andy... 471 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,613 it's not a matter of winning or losing in this case... 472 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,615 but only in this case. 473 00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:26,551 You just have to understand that I can care about... 474 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,987 about you and Lauren at the same time, 475 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,189 it doesn't make me love you any less. 476 00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,891 - It doesn't? - Look... 477 00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:34,426 we're still gonna spend time together. 478 00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:36,228 I mean, we're still gonna have fun. 479 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:37,729 It's just that now, you know, 480 00:21:37,729 --> 00:21:39,865 you're gonna have to share me with Lauren. 481 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,696 Share?! 482 00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:49,308 I know, normally I'm against it... 483 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,611 but you're just gonna have to trust me on this one, all right? 484 00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,546 All right. 485 00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:57,382 Look, Andy, I'm sorry 486 00:21:57,382 --> 00:22:00,652 that I haven't paid much attention to you lately. 487 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,621 And I know you want me to know... 488 00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:05,557 I know you must've been pretty upset to do what you did. 489 00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:07,759 I'm sorry, Alex, I just miss you. 490 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:10,819 I miss the old days. 491 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:15,033 Hey... I love you. 492 00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:16,702 - I love you, too. - All right. 493 00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,363 Okay. 494 00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,208 Mm! 495 00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:26,311 Listen... 496 00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:28,780 do me one favor? 497 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,516 I want you to try and be friends with Lauren. 498 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,319 Okay? 'Cause she really wants to be friends with you. 499 00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:36,054 Okay. 500 00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:38,957 Okay. Now, she's outside... 501 00:22:38,957 --> 00:22:42,661 and she told me that she really wants to see your room. 502 00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:44,094 All right? 503 00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:47,966 Okay, now, remember, you're the host here. 504 00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:50,268 You got to try to make her feel comfortable. 505 00:22:50,268 --> 00:22:52,259 Got it? 506 00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:56,598 Hi. Welcome to my room. 507 00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,645 (whispers): How am I doing, Alex? 508 00:23:00,645 --> 00:23:03,136 Keep it coming, keep it coming. 509 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,953 I brought you something. 510 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,421 What? 511 00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:12,584 - Thought you might be thirsty. - Thank you. 512 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,029 So this is your room, huh? 513 00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:19,931 I like it. 514 00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:21,366 Oh, teddy bears. 515 00:23:21,366 --> 00:23:23,368 Do you like teddy bears? 516 00:23:23,368 --> 00:23:25,270 I don't know, do you? 517 00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:27,706 Yes, I like them very much. 518 00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:29,970 Me, too. 519 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,953 You know, this is my story time. 520 00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:44,089 - Alex reads me stories. - All right, well, 521 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,323 I'll leave you two guys alone. 522 00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:50,262 No, wait, wait, maybe he can read to both of us. 523 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,287 Yeah, sure. Sure, sure. 524 00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:55,667 Okay, climb up, climb up. 525 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:58,036 All right, this is a good story. 526 00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:01,039 This is a good story. 527 00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:03,108 Chapter one. 528 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,838 "Deferring Income to the Next Tax Year..." 529 00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:37,108 MAN: Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog. 530 00:24:37,108 --> 00:24:38,234 (Ubu barks) 531 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:48,500 Ripped By mstoll 37603

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