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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,633 [ THEME SONG PLAYS ] 2 00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:17,833 ♪ I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A MILLION YEARS ♪ 3 00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:23,100 ♪ AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOR A MILLION MORE ♪ 4 00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:26,033 ♪ OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING ♪ 5 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,833 ♪ ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED 6 00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:34,067 ♪ AND I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE ♪ 7 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,033 ♪ WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY 8 00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:39,800 ♪ WITHOUT US? 9 00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:42,433 ♪ WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY 10 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:45,067 ♪ WITHOUT US? 11 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,700 ♪ AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHIN' ♪ 12 00:00:47,733 --> 00:00:49,500 ♪ WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH ♪ 13 00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:50,967 ♪ OOH-HOO 14 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,067 ♪ WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY 15 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,700 ♪ WITHOUT US? 16 00:00:56,733 --> 00:01:00,233 ♪ SHA-LA-LA-LA 17 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:03,367 HEY, HONEY. 18 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:04,700 BOY, YOU'RE UP EARLY. 19 00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:05,900 YEAH, I WANTED TO GET A HEAD START. 20 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,267 I'M MAKING BREAKFAST. 21 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,133 WELL, WHAT IS ALL THIS? PANCAKES, BACON, EGGS, TOAST? 22 00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:12,633 AND FRESHLY SQUEEZED ORANGE JUICE. 23 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:13,933 WELL, NOW, I AM VERY IMPRESSED. 24 00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:15,367 THAT'S HARD TO DO WITHOUT A JUICER. 25 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,000 IT'S EVEN HARDER TO DO WITHOUT ORANGES. [ CHUCKLES ] 26 00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:20,267 WHAT'S THE OCCASION? YOU KNOW, I GOT UP THIS MORNING 27 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,967 AND I REALIZED HOW INCREDIBLE IT IS -- 28 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,067 ALEX IS A JUNIOR AT LELAND, 29 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,267 MALLORY IS A FRESHMAN AT GRANT COLLEGE, 30 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:31,467 JENNIFER IS IN JUNIOR HIGH, AND ANDY STARTS PRESCHOOL TODAY. 31 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:32,933 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 32 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,067 IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT 33 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,100 HOW MUCH WE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER, 34 00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:40,300 HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FAMILY, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, 35 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,267 AND HOW UNBELIEVABLY EXPENSIVE 36 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:45,633 THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE. 37 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:47,700 MAYBE WE SHOULD CANCEL THIS BREAKFAST. 38 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,933 AH, LET'S LIVE DANGEROUSLY. 39 00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:56,967 THESE PEOPLE EVER GONNA GO THROUGH MIDLIFE CRISIS? 40 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,533 ALEX, JENNIFER, SIT DOWN. 41 00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:01,233 I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT PANCAKES. 42 00:02:01,267 --> 00:02:02,800 WE'VE GOT EGGS. WE'VE GOT BACON. 43 00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,200 LOOKS GREAT, 44 00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:05,967 BUT THE JUNIOR CLASS IS HAVING A "WELCOME BACK" BREAKFAST. 45 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,333 HOW ABOUT YOU, JEN? WHAT'S IT GONNA BE? 46 00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:10,000 EGGS? PANCAKES? 47 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:12,367 I ATE ALREADY, DAD. I'VE BEEN UP FOR 3 HOURS. 48 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,733 I SEE. 49 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,700 MALLORY! HOW ABOUT SOME PANCAKES? 50 00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:19,100 PLEASE, DAD. 51 00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:21,400 IF I EVEN LOOK AT FOOD TODAY, I'M GONNA BE SICK. 52 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:24,500 THIS WORKED OUT NICELY. 53 00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:25,900 JENNIFER, ANDY'S READY FOR YOU. 54 00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:27,267 HE JUST NEEDS HIS HAIR BRUSHED. 55 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,767 ISN'T THAT CUTE? HIS FIRST DAY OF PRESCHOOL. 56 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,633 YEAH. MALLORY, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT SOME BREAKFAST? 57 00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:35,067 NO, DAD. IT'S MY FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE. I'M VERY NERVOUS. 58 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:37,700 MAL, YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 59 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:40,333 [ Laughing ] I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO A REAL COLLEGE. 60 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,600 WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 61 00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:48,733 OH, COME ON. 62 00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:50,367 HOW CAN YOU GET NERVOUS ABOUT GOING TO A COLLEGE 63 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,733 THAT ADVERTISES IN HOT RO MAGAZINE? 64 00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:55,933 THAT'S NOT TRUE, ALEX. 65 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,600 OH, COME ON, MAL. I SAW THE AD. 66 00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:00,900 "GRANT COLLEGE INTRODUCTORY OFFER -- 67 00:03:00,933 --> 00:03:04,200 BUY ONE SEMESTER, GET THE REST FREE." 68 00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:06,700 THEN THERE'S THAT RADIO SPOT -- 69 00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:08,933 "AT GRANT COLLEGE, WE HAVE A MODERN LIBRARY, 70 00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:10,300 "FULLY QUALIFIED PROFESSORS, 71 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:13,600 AND THICK, JUICY STEAKS COOKED JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE THEM." 72 00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:16,900 ALEX, GRANT COLLEGE IS A VERY FINE SCHOOL. 73 00:03:16,933 --> 00:03:18,267 IT'S VERY HARD TO GET IN. 74 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:21,567 HELLO, FELLOW GRANT COLLEGE FRESHMAN! 75 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,933 LOOKS LIKE IT'S EVEN HARDER TO STAY OUT. 76 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,567 SKIP, HOW ABOUT SOME BREAKFAST 77 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,433 ON YOUR FIRST DAY AT GRANT COLLEGE? 78 00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:34,133 NO, NO, NO. THANK YOU, MR. KEATON. 79 00:03:34,167 --> 00:03:38,267 NO, I'M SAVING MY APPETITE FOR THOSE THICK, JUICY STEAKS. 80 00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:43,700 Steven: OH! HEY! Elyse: HI! 81 00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:45,800 HEY. 82 00:03:47,267 --> 00:03:50,433 DOES THIS TIE GO, ALEX? 83 00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:52,600 "DOES THIS TIE GO"? 84 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,833 YOU LOOK LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. 85 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,533 TAX-FREE. 86 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,333 [ CHUCKLES ] 87 00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:01,367 IS IS TOO LATE TO TAKE ANDY TO THE WOODS 88 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,233 AND HAVE HIM RAISED BY WOLVES? 89 00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:05,533 COME ON, DAD. 90 00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,967 YOU KNOW HOW LONG I HAD TO WAIT TO HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER? 91 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,633 WHAT I HAD TO ENDURE? I'M JUST EXCITED, THAT'S ALL. 92 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,800 COME ON, ANDY. 93 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:13,633 DO YOU WANT TO WAVE GOODBYE TO YOUR SISTER 94 00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,200 ON HER FIRST DAY AT COLLEGE? 95 00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:17,433 IT'S NOT A REAL COLLEGE. 96 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,133 WHERE'S ANDY? 97 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,200 HE'S UPSTAIRS TAKING A NAP. 98 00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:30,467 AHH. 99 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,933 I WANTED TO FIND OUT HOW HIS FIRST DAY AT PRESCHOOL WAS. 100 00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:34,333 I CALLED THERE THREE TIMES. 101 00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:38,133 EVERY TIME I CALLED, THEY SAID IT WAS NAP TIME. 102 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:41,267 WELL, HE'S UPSTAIRS TAKING ANOTHER NAP NOW. 103 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,300 I GOT TO TALK TO THIS KID. HE'S SLEEPING HIS LIFE AWAY. 104 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,400 [ DOOR OPENS ] Mallory: HI. 105 00:04:46,433 --> 00:04:48,167 GUYS, HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE? 106 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,567 JENNIFER, IT WAS SO EXCITING. 107 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,167 IT'S SO DIFFERENT FROM HIGH SCHOOL. 108 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,900 I'M TAKING THIS AMAZING PHILOSOPHY COURSE. 109 00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:55,533 WE TALKED ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, THE NATURE OF REALITY, 110 00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,600 AND THE EXISTENCE OF BEING AND NON-BEING. 111 00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:00,233 I MEAN, THIS COULD CHANGE THE WHOLE WAY I DRESS. 112 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:06,067 HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY, SKIP? 113 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,567 NOT QUITE AS GOOD. 114 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,833 DUE TO A COMPUTER ERROR, 115 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:10,900 I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY AT THE REGISTRAR 116 00:05:10,933 --> 00:05:13,767 TRYING TO PROVE THAT I'M NOT A LABORATORY RAT. 117 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,800 WERE YOU SUCCESSFUL? 118 00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:19,700 I HAVE TO GO BACK TOMORROW WITH MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 119 00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,733 YOU KNOW, JENNIFER, 120 00:05:21,767 --> 00:05:24,667 I THINK PHILOSOPHY MAY BE MY TRUE CALLING. 121 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,933 THERE ARE JUST SO MANY INTERESTING QUESTIONS. 122 00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:28,433 TODAY, THE PROFESSOR ASKED, 123 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:30,633 "WHAT PROOF DO I HAVE THAT I REALLY EXIST?" 124 00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,167 SHOW HIM YOUR PHONE BILL. 125 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,733 [ CHUCKLES ] 126 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,533 LAUGH IF YOU WANT, ALEX, 127 00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:39,233 BUT I HAVE STARTED MY FIRST PAPER. 128 00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,433 "I SHOP, THEREFORE I AM." 129 00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:46,967 IT'S ONLY A FIRST DRAFT, TOO. 130 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,267 WELL, LET'S GO TO THE MALL 131 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,833 AND DO SOME RESEARCH ON THE PAPER. 132 00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:51,667 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, JEN. 133 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,900 YOU'RE GONNA DO REALLY WELL IN COLLEGE. 134 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,367 OH, HEY. IS ANDY ASLEEP YET? 135 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,200 'CAUSE I WANT TO ASK HIM -- OH, HE IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT, HONEY. 136 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:01,133 HE'S HAD A VERY FULL DAY. 137 00:06:01,167 --> 00:06:02,667 I'M A LITTLE SLEEPY MYSELF. 138 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,700 I'VE GOT A BIG DAY ON CAMPUS TOMORROW. 139 00:06:04,733 --> 00:06:07,200 I HAVE TO RUN THROUGH A MAZE AND RING A BELL 140 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,100 TO GET A PIECE OF SWISS CHEESE. 141 00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:12,533 YOU CRAZY COLLEGE KIDS. 142 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,300 SO, UH, ANDY LIKED PRESCHOOL, HUH? 143 00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,833 OH. GREAT. TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT. 144 00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:20,867 WELL, HE, UH, WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS AT FIRST. 145 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,767 YEAH, WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THAT'S TO BE EXPECTED. 146 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,267 BUT AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, HE STARTED TO ENJOY HIMSELF. 147 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,667 WELL, WHAT WERE HIS FAVORITE SUBJECTS -- 148 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,433 FINGER PAINTING, BLOCKS, SUPPLY-SIDE ECONOMICS? 149 00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:31,600 I THINK HE SAID 150 00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:33,867 THAT THE PART HE LIKED BEST WAS SHARING TIME. 151 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,067 [ Chuckling ] OH. 152 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,433 SHARING TIME? 153 00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:38,633 WHAT'S THAT? 154 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,300 ONE OF THE OBJECTIVES OF THE SCHOOL 155 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,033 IS TO TEACH KIDS THAT SHARING IS FUN. 156 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,667 SO, EVERYTHING IS SHARED EQUALLY. 157 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,767 ALL THE TOYS IN THE ROOM BELONG TO THE GROUP, 158 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,700 AND THEY'RE CONSIDERED COMMUNAL PROPERTY. 159 00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:50,700 WHAT IS THIS, THE KARL MARX PRESCHOOL? 160 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,667 THE HARPER SCHOOL PROGRAM 161 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,500 TEACHES KIDS TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER -- 162 00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:58,267 TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. 163 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,033 THEY EVEN HAVE THIS METHOD OF ENCOURAGING 164 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,600 THE CHILDREN WHO ARE A LITTLE SHY. 165 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:03,800 THEY GIVE THEM PATCHES TO WEAR THAT SAY, 166 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:06,533 "I KNOW HOW TO SAY GOODBYE" OR "I KNOW HOW TO NAP" 167 00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:08,700 OR "I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK IN SENTENCES." 168 00:07:08,733 --> 00:07:11,867 SOUNDS LIKE AN INSANE ASYLUM. 169 00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:16,000 PRESCHOOL IS SUPPOSED TO PREPARE ANDY 170 00:07:16,033 --> 00:07:17,233 FOR REAL LIFE. 171 00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,867 IN A COUPLE YEARS, HE'S GONNA BE OUT THERE 172 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,933 IN THE DOG-EAT-DOG WORLD OF KINDERGARTEN. 173 00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,400 HE'S GOT TO BE READY. 174 00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:27,000 HE'S GOT TO BUILD HIS CHARACTER, SHARPEN HIS MENTAL SKILLS, 175 00:07:27,033 --> 00:07:28,933 IMPROVE HIS PHYSICAL ENDURANCE. 176 00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:32,700 SO BASICALLY, YOU'RE SUGGESTING A MILITARY PRESCHOOL. 177 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:35,033 I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE ANDY ON THE STREET 178 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:36,233 20 YEARS FROM NOW 179 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:39,767 WITH A PATCH THAT SAYS, "I KNOW HOW TO SAY GOODBYE." 180 00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:47,567 OKAY, ANDY. HERE'S YOUR LUNCHBOX. 181 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,200 NOW, THESE ARE YOUR COLORING BOOKS AND YOUR CRAYONS. 182 00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:52,300 REMEMBER. HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT SHARING? 183 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:55,733 PBHT! 184 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:59,067 THATABOY. 185 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,500 OKAY, NOW YOU JUST WEAR THIS, 186 00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:04,667 AND I DON'T THINK WE'LL HAVE ANY PROBLEM. 187 00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,667 GOOD MORNING, ANDY. 188 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,833 GOOD MORNING, MRS. KLUGER. 189 00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:16,700 GOOD MORNING, MRS. KLUGER. I'M ALEX KEATON, ANDY'S BROTHER. 190 00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:18,300 I'M MRS. KLUGER, THE DIRECTOR. 191 00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:21,067 RIGHT. OH, LISTEN, ANDY, I GOT TO RUN TO CLASS NOW. 192 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,300 BUT REMEMBER -- TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO GO OUT, 193 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,533 WE'RE GONNA GET ICE CREAM, 194 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:25,333 THEN I'M GONNA TAKE YOU AND SHOW YOU 195 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,267 HOW THE AUTOMATED-TELLER MACHINES WORK. 196 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:30,900 OKAY? REMEMBER -- WHO LOVES YOU? 197 00:08:30,933 --> 00:08:32,600 ALEX LOVES ME. 198 00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:33,967 YOU KNOW IT. 199 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,300 SO, UH... HOW'S HE DOING? 200 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,733 OH, HE'S A TERRIFIC CHILD. 201 00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:41,900 HE'S VERY SENSITIVE 202 00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:44,067 AND VERY THOUGHTFUL OF THE OTHER CHILDREN. 203 00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:47,967 WELL, I CAN'T HELP THAT. IT'S MY PARENTS' INFLUENCE. 204 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,833 YOU KNOW, ANDREW TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME, ALEX. 205 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:52,933 OH, REALLY? 206 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,600 YEAH. HE MENTIONS YOUR NAME SO OFTEN, 207 00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:58,600 YOU'D THINK SOMEONE WAS PAYING HIM TO TALK ABOUT YOU. 208 00:09:04,733 --> 00:09:06,200 MRS. KLUGER, DO YOU MIND 209 00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:08,567 IF I TAKE A LITTLE LOOK AROUND HERE? 210 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,133 OH, NO. FEEL FREE. WE ENCOURAGE VISITORS. 211 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,567 WE'RE COMPLETELY OPEN AND FREE HERE. 212 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,267 THAT'S NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT. 213 00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:19,200 SO, THIS IS THE LIBRARY. YEAH. 214 00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:22,200 AND WE TRY TO FILL IT WITH COLORFUL, INTERESTING BOOKS. 215 00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:24,700 WE'VE GOT, UH, OH, "CHARLIE GOES TO SCHOOL," 216 00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:27,633 "A SNOWY DAY," "THE CURIOUS COW." 217 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,733 YEAH. WE'VE GOT THAT ONE AT HOME. 218 00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,500 MALLORY'S READING IT. 219 00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:35,400 MY SISTER. OH. 220 00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,533 YOU'VE ALSO GOT A SISTER IN PRESCHOOL? 221 00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:43,367 NO, MALLORY COULDN'T GET INTO PRESCHOOL... 222 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,900 SO SHE'S GOING TO GRANT COLLEGE. 223 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:52,333 HI, MRS. KLUGER. 224 00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:55,800 HI, MICHAEL. WHAT DOES YOUR PATCH SAY? 225 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:59,833 "I KNOW HOW TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY DADDY." 226 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:03,533 VERY GOOD, SWEETIE. ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL, ALEX? 227 00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,400 WHAT'S SO WONDERFUL ABOUT THAT? 228 00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:07,600 I KNOW HOW TO SAY GOODBYE TO M DADDY. 229 00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:10,333 YOU DON'T SEE ME WEARING A PATCH. 230 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,733 WELL, WE TRY TO ENCOURAGE MICHAEL. 231 00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:13,867 HE'S VERY SHY. 232 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,700 THIS GIVES HIM A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT. 233 00:10:15,733 --> 00:10:17,300 WELL, I'M ALL FOR CREATING 234 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:19,467 A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT, MRS. KLUGER. 235 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,200 I JUST QUESTION YOUR METHODS. 236 00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:22,767 OH. WELL, WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST? 237 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,067 WELL, HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT DIVIDING THE CHILDREN 238 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:29,733 INTO DIFFERENT PLAY GROUPS, GIVING THEM I.Q. TESTS? 239 00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,900 WELL, ALEX, WE'RE TRYING TO FOSTER 240 00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,600 A NONCOMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT. 241 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,833 OH, COME ON, MRS. KLUGER. 242 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,733 JOIN US IN THE REAL WORLD HERE. 243 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,100 DO YOU SEE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE NONCOMPETITIVE? 244 00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:49,667 PEOPLE SHARING? PEOPLE TAKING NAPS ON MATS? 245 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:53,533 STEVEN AND ELYSE KEATON ARE YOUR PARENTS? 246 00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:55,033 OH, MRS. KLUGER, I GOT TO GO. 247 00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:56,967 UH, I'M JUST GONNA SAY GOODBYE TO ANDY, 248 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,033 AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY. 249 00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,767 SURE. HE'S OVER THERE, PLAYING HOUSE. 250 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:03,367 NO, NO. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. ANDY DOESN'T PLAY HOUSE. 251 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,533 WELL, OF COURSE HE DOES. SEE HIM DIAPERING THAT DOLL? 252 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,467 HE'S DIAPERING A DOLL? 253 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,833 ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 254 00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:13,667 DIAPERING A DOLL. 255 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,233 WHERE'S YOUR WIFE? 256 00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:17,567 OUT WORKING. 257 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,267 WE'RE OUT OF HERE. 258 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,733 LET'S GO. LET'S GO. 259 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,067 TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY 260 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,567 I REALLY FELT LIKE A REAL COLLEGE STUDENT. 261 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,933 OF COURSE, TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY I WASN'T GETTING SHOCKED 262 00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:38,167 FOR RUNNING AGAINST THE TRAFFIC IN OUR MAZE. 263 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,533 SKIPPY, DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING TO DO SOME WORK HERE. 264 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,367 I'M SORRY, MAL. IT'S JUST SUCH A GREAT FEELING TO BE HUMAN AGAIN. 265 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,333 WAIT A MINUTE! YOU JUST GAVE ME A GREAT IDEA. 266 00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:48,500 I DID? MY NEXT ASSIGNMENT IN PHILOSOPHY 267 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,967 IS TO PICK SOMEONE AND TRY TO PROVE THEY EXIST. 268 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,667 I MEAN, I CAN DO THAT ON YOU. 269 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,533 WOW! WHAT A CHALLENGE! 270 00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:57,100 YEAH, IF I COULD PROVE YOU EXIST, 271 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,100 I'D DEFINITELY GET AN "A." 272 00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:03,233 AND YOU'D BE ABLE TO SETTLE A BET I HAVE WITH MY GRANDFATHER. 273 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,633 WHOA, WHOA, MALLORY. DO YOU HAVE TO WORK HERE? 274 00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,400 WE COULD REALLY USE THIS SPACE. 275 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,300 OH, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T STOP US NOW, ALEX. 276 00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:13,933 SEE, MALLORY IS GOING TO PROVE THAT I EXIST. 277 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,200 THAT COULD GET A LITTLE MESSY. 278 00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:17,933 WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT IN THE KITCHEN, HUH? 279 00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:20,100 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 280 00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:21,633 OKAY, A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS, SKIPPY. 281 00:12:21,667 --> 00:12:23,667 FIRST OF ALL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY DISTINGUISHES YOU 282 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,267 FROM AN INANIMATE OBJECT? 283 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,133 MY ALLERGIES? 284 00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:29,367 ALEX, THIS IS CRAZY. 285 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,933 DON'T YOU THINK MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA FIND OUT 286 00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:33,733 THAT ANDY ISN'T IN PRESCHOOL? 287 00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:36,067 YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT NOW. 288 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,367 THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO DEPROGRAM ANDY 289 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,533 BEFORE ANYTHING HE LEARNED IN PRESCHOOL SINKS IN. 290 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,167 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO FIRST? 291 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,367 OKAY. WE'RE GONNA PLAY HOUSE. 292 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,167 I'M GONNA BE THE FATHER. YOU'RE GONNA BE THE MOTHER. 293 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,933 WE'RE GONNA SHOW ANDY HOW A NORMAL FAMILY FUNCTIONS. 294 00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,600 ARE YOU WATCHING, ANDY? YES, SIR. 295 00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:54,267 GOOD. 296 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,567 HONEY, I'M HOME! 297 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,167 HI, THERE, DEAR. 298 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,400 [ SMOOCHES ] 299 00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:00,933 WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY 300 00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:05,700 WHILE I WAS OUT WORKING HARD TO SUPPORT YOU? 301 00:13:05,733 --> 00:13:08,100 I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THE MILKMAN. 302 00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:17,300 THAT'S VERY FUNNY, DEAR. 303 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:20,100 DOES THAT MEAN YOU DIDN'T MAKE ANY DINNER FOR YOUR HUSBAND, 304 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,300 EVEN THOUGH I WAS SLAVING AWAY AT THE OFFICE? 305 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:23,967 AT LEAST YOU GET PAID. 306 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000 HOUSEWORK IS JUST AS TOUGH AS YOUR JOB, 307 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:27,167 AND I DON'T GET A DIME. 308 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,333 I WANT A DIVORCE! 309 00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:29,733 ALL RIGHT, JENNIFER. 310 00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:36,800 IF YOU CAN'T PLAY NICELY, LET'S NOT PLAY AT ALL, OKAY? 311 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,467 THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ANDY. WE DON'T NEED HER. 312 00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:42,633 HEY, ALEX. HEY! THERE'S MY GUY. 313 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:44,600 HI, SWEETIE. HI. 314 00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:47,300 HEY, WHAT'S, UH -- WHAT'S THIS PATCH? 315 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,033 UH, THAT'S NOTHING. 316 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:53,367 "I KNOW HOW TO ITEMIZE DEDUCTIONS." 317 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:58,367 BOY, THEY'RE REALLY MOVING AHEAD QUICKLY THERE. 318 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,033 MOM, DAD, SIT DOWN. 319 00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:04,500 SOMETHING VERY BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN NOW. 320 00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:07,833 JUST HEAR ME OUT... BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, OKAY? 321 00:14:07,867 --> 00:14:09,733 OH, THIS IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT. 322 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:12,233 ANDY WITHDREW FROM PRESCHOOL TODAY. 323 00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:13,867 WHAT? 324 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,100 AND I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 325 00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:16,300 I ADMIRE HIM FOR IT. 326 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:21,433 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ANDY DIDN'T WITHDRAW. 327 00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:23,067 I WITHDREW HIM. 328 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,733 BUT THAT PRESCHOOL WASN'T FOR HIM. 329 00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,767 HE WAS PICKING UP A LOT OF BAD HABITS THERE. 330 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,500 ALEX, THE HARPER PRESCHOOL IS ONE OF THE BEST IN THE AREA. 331 00:14:29,533 --> 00:14:31,867 IT'S A HUMANISTIC APPROACH TO CHILD CARE 332 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:35,567 BASED ON AFFECTION, MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, AND RESPECT. 333 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:39,000 GRANTED, YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR THESE THINGS, 334 00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:42,233 BUT OTHER MEMBERS OF OUR SPECIES CLING BLINDLY TO THEM. 335 00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:44,500 I'M GONNA CALL MRS. KLUGER. 336 00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:46,467 THERE'S NO WAY SHE COULD'VE TAKEN ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY. 337 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,767 Alex: ALL RIGHT. 338 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,900 LOOK, I'M SORRY THINGS TURNED OUT THE WAY THEY DID. 339 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:55,233 BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING. 340 00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:56,733 I ONLY DID WHAT I DID 341 00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,333 'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS BEST FOR ANDY. 342 00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:01,500 I LOVE THAT KID. 343 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:04,800 I'D NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT HIM. 344 00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,200 ALL RIGHT, ALEX. 345 00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:09,300 BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING. 346 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:12,867 WE'RE HIS PARENTS, AND THIS IS OUR DECISION. 347 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,700 YOU'RE RIGHT. 348 00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:16,733 HEY, YOU'RE RIGHT. 349 00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:21,667 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU GOT MALLORY. 350 00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:25,167 YOU GOT JENNIFER. 351 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,933 YOU GOT CARTE BLANCHE ON THEM. 352 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:28,967 DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. 353 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,600 I'LL EVEN THROW IN SKIPPY IF YOU WANT. 354 00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:32,033 BUT ANDREW... 355 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,667 ANDREW'S MINE. 356 00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:40,533 WELL, IF HE THROWS IN SKIPPY... 357 00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:41,767 STEVEN! 358 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,133 GOOD MORNING, ANDREW. GOOD MORNING, ALEX. 359 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:52,000 Both: GOOD MORNING, MRS. KLUGER. 360 00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:54,000 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU BACK AT SCHOOL, ANDY. 361 00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:55,900 I THINK MRS. KAUFMAN'S WAITING FOR YOU. 362 00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:57,100 GO AHEAD, ANDY. BE STRONG. 363 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,400 MRS. KLUGER, 364 00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:04,233 I'M, UH, SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. 365 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,600 I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE, 366 00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:07,567 AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU HOW TO RUN YOUR SCHOOL. 367 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,200 I GET A LITTLE EMOTIONAL WHEN IT COMES TO ANDY. 368 00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:14,700 WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY AND WATCH HIM PLAY FOR A WHILE? 369 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,333 ACTUALLY, I CAN'T. I GOT TO GO. 370 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:19,700 THANKS, ANYWAY. ALL RIGHT. HAVE A NICE DAY. 371 00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:22,767 OKAY. THIS MORNING, WE'RE REALLY GONNA HAVE FUN. 372 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,167 LET'S PRETEND THAT WE'RE GOING TO RUN A LITTLE BUSINESS. 373 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,600 BUSINESS? 374 00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:31,367 NOW, WHAT SHOULD WE SELL? 375 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,467 TURTLES! 376 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,633 TURTLES. 377 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:39,767 THE TURTLE MARKET'S BEEN DEPRESSED SINCE '81. 378 00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:44,300 NOW, IF WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TURTLE STORE, 379 00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:47,333 WE HAVE TO DECIDE HOW MUCH TO SELL THE TURTLES FOR. 380 00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:49,533 NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK, EVERYBODY? 381 00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:51,700 FOR FREE. 382 00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:54,000 WELL, THAT IS VERY NICE OF YOU, RHONDA. 383 00:16:54,033 --> 00:16:56,400 WE WON'T CHARGE ANYTHING FOR THE TURTLES. 384 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,467 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 385 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:02,133 AT THAT RATE, YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT OF BUSINESS BY NAP TIME. 386 00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,367 UH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME, PLEASE? 387 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,667 SORRY. 388 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:09,033 NOW, WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE NEED FOR OUR STORE? 389 00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:10,033 TURTLES. 390 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:11,067 Alex: TURTLES! 391 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:14,133 THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT, ANDY. 392 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,233 ONCE WE HAVE TURTLES, 393 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,900 I GUESS WE'RE READY TO OPEN UP. 394 00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:18,667 NO, COME ON. WAIT. LOOK. 395 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,000 THERE ARE A MILLION DECISIONS TO BE MADE HERE. [ GIGGLING ] 396 00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:23,467 FIRST OF ALL, WHAT KIND OF TURTLES ARE YOU GONNA SELL? 397 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,733 MYSELF, I'D SUGGEST 398 00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,400 DIVIDING THE STOCK UP IN THE FOLLOWING MANNER -- 399 00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:29,533 70% DISPOSABLE TURTLES -- DISPOSABLE TURTLES? 400 00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:30,867 YEAH, YOU KNOW, THE KIND THAT DIE 401 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,100 AS SOON AS YOU BRING THEM HOME. 402 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,667 AND THEN, THE OTHER 30%, 403 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:41,233 I'D HAVE THOSE, YOU KNOW, THOSE BIG SEA TURTLES. 404 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,800 FOR SOUPS. 405 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:46,467 BUT YOU NEED A STORE MANAGER TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS. 406 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,400 NOW, WHO WANTS TO BE A STORE MANAGER? 407 00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:50,500 OH! I SEE ANDREW KEATON HAS HIS HAND UP. 408 00:17:50,533 --> 00:17:52,400 I LIKE A BOY WITH INITIATIVE. 409 00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:56,533 I GOT AN IDEA. WE NEED CO-MANAGERS. 410 00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:59,500 HEY, MICHAEL, WHY DON'T YOU AND ANDY BOTH MANAGE THE STORE? 411 00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,600 GOOD. GREAT. OKAY. 412 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:03,933 NOW WE NEED AN ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN. 413 00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:06,000 RHONDA, YOU EVER DO ANY MODELING? 414 00:18:08,867 --> 00:18:13,033 YES, AND I HAVE A DOG. 415 00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:16,867 LET'S STICK TO BUSINESS, RHONDA. 416 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:20,033 OKAY, WE'RE GONNA NEED A PICTURE, A PHOTOGRAPH, 417 00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,800 OF YOU AND A TURTLE 418 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,633 AND A SIGN SAYING, UH, WHAT? WHAT? 419 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,333 UH, "WELCOME TO OUR GRAND OPENING. 420 00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,867 COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL SALE." 421 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,600 RIGHT? OKAY. WE'RE GONNA NEED A SIGN. 422 00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:32,333 WHO WANTS TO PAINT A SIGN? 423 00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:33,933 EXCUSE ME, BUT I WORK HERE. 424 00:18:33,967 --> 00:18:37,333 FABULOUS. GET SOME PAINTS, WILL YOU? 425 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,033 AND, UH... 426 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:42,067 SOME RED, WHITE, AND BLUE DECORATIONS. 427 00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:44,900 OKAY, NOW, WE'RE GONNA NEED A BUSINESS MANAGER 428 00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:46,933 TO HELP US AVOID PAYING TAXES. 429 00:18:46,967 --> 00:18:48,967 WHAT'S TAXES? 430 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,367 A TAX IS A TERRIBLE... 431 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,867 HAIRY... 432 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,833 LIBERAL MONSTER... 433 00:18:57,867 --> 00:18:59,700 WITH BIG TEETH. 434 00:18:59,733 --> 00:19:00,733 [ GROWLS ] 435 00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,667 [ LAUGHTER ] 436 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,967 AND THE ONLY THING -- 437 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,233 THE ONLY THING THAT CAN STOP THE TERRIBLE TAX MONSTER 438 00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,667 IS A REPUBLICAN. 439 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,067 WHO WANTS TO BE A REPUBLICAN? 440 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,433 WHOA! [ LAUGHTER ] 441 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:24,033 OH. WHAT'S ALL THIS? OH, IT'S VERY SIMPLE, ELYSE. 442 00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:26,433 IF THE BACK-TO-SCHOOL BREAKFAST DIDN'T WORK, 443 00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:29,200 WE JUST SWITCH GEARS AND TRY THE BACK-TO-SCHOOL DINNER. 444 00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,200 BUT THE KIDS HAVE BEEN BACK TO SCHOOL 445 00:19:31,233 --> 00:19:32,833 FOR OVER A WEEK NOW. 446 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,800 SO, THEY'VE HAD TIME TO WORK UP AN APPETITE. 447 00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:37,033 SEE YOU LATER. 448 00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:39,700 OKAY. HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 449 00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:42,133 I'M HAVING DINNER AT CHRISSY'S HOUSE. 450 00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:44,167 YOU SAID I COULD GO LAST WEEK. 451 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,600 THIS IS A SCHOOL NIGHT, JENNIFER. 452 00:19:45,633 --> 00:19:47,367 SHOULDN'T YOU BE STAYING HOME AND STUDYING? 453 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,633 I FINISHED STUDYING. 454 00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:51,067 AND ANYWAY, I GOT A 98 ON MY FIRST TEST. 455 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,667 I WOULD'VE GOTTEN 100, EXCEPT THAT I PUT MANDALAY DOWN 456 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,800 AS THE CAPITAL OF BURMA INSTEAD OF RANGOON. 457 00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:59,267 AND YOU EXPECT US TO JUST OVERLOOK THAT? 458 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,600 HI. HI. HI. 459 00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:04,067 Steven: HEY, MAL, SKIP. 460 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,233 MALLORY, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD. 461 00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:07,300 AH, THANKS, SKIPPY. 462 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:08,900 AND DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL GET OVER IT. 463 00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:11,833 WHAT HAPPENED? WELL, I GOT AN "F" ON MY PHILOSOPHY PAPER. 464 00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:15,333 I COULDN'T PROVE THAT SKIPPY EXISTED. 465 00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,367 WELL, MAYBE I'LL JUST GO BACK TO THE LAB 466 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,167 AND THE OTHER RATS. 467 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,967 AT LEAST I WAS ACCEPTED THERE. 468 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,833 BYE-BYE. 469 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:33,067 WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY, MAL. 470 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,767 WE'RE PLANNING A BIG DINNER. 471 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,233 UM, I CAN'T, DAD. NICK AND I ARE GOING TO AN ART EXHIBIT. 472 00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,500 IT STARTS IN HALF AN HOUR. 473 00:20:38,533 --> 00:20:40,100 SEE YOU LATER. 474 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:48,000 WELL, HERE WE ARE AGAIN, ELYSE... 475 00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:51,933 YOU, ME, AND HUGE AMOUNTS OF FOOD. 476 00:20:53,267 --> 00:20:54,333 HEY. 477 00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:56,300 HEY, ALEX. HI, SWEETHEART. 478 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:57,733 ANDY. 479 00:20:57,767 --> 00:20:58,933 HEY. HOW WERE YOUR CLASSES? 480 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:00,567 I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T MAKE IT. 481 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,800 I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY AT PRESCHOOL WITH ANDY. 482 00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,433 WHY? WAS THERE A PROBLEM? 483 00:21:04,467 --> 00:21:06,500 HE'S STILL ENROLLED, ISN'T HE? 484 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,867 YEAH, HE'S STILL ENROLLED. 485 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,200 AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE GOT HIS REPORT CARD TODAY. 486 00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:12,433 "DOESN'T GET ALONG WITH OTHER CHILDREN, 487 00:21:12,467 --> 00:21:15,967 HAS A TENDENCY TO TRY TO RUN EVERY ACTIVITY HIS OWN WAY." 488 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,267 WHAT? WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S MINE. 489 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,567 OH. 490 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,600 NO...HERE'S ANDY'S RIGHT HERE. OH. 491 00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:29,200 OH. WELL, YEAH. "ANDY IS A DELIGHTFUL BOY 492 00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:30,967 "WHO'S VERY POPULAR WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN. 493 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,433 IT'S A PLEASURE HAVING HIM IN THE CLASS." 494 00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:36,267 THAT'S WONDERFUL, ANDY. 495 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,667 MAYBE I WASN'T COMPLETELY IN THE RIGHT 496 00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:40,633 ON THIS WHOLE PRESCHOOL THING. 497 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:43,767 I MEAN, SURE, THEY DO SOME THINGS DIFFERENTLY THAN I WOULD, 498 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,900 BUT ON THE WHOLE, 499 00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:47,533 THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF LOVE AND AFFECTION THERE. 500 00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:51,867 WITH THE PROPER SUPERVISION AND THE RIGHT GUEST SPEAKERS, 501 00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:54,100 THOSE KIDS COULD LEARN A LOT. 502 00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:55,633 "GUEST SPEAKERS"? 503 00:21:55,667 --> 00:21:59,300 I'M GOING TO BE LECTURING THERE ONCE A WEEK. 504 00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:01,133 UH, BY THE WAY, 505 00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:03,333 YOU'RE PLANNING ON EATING HERE TONIGHT, AREN'T YOU? 506 00:22:03,367 --> 00:22:04,467 OH, DAD, UH, LISTEN. 507 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,567 ANDY AND I WERE GONNA HAVE DINNER ALONE TONIGHT, 508 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,067 KIND OF A "BROTHERS EVENING." 509 00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,500 THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ISN'T IT? 510 00:22:09,533 --> 00:22:11,367 [ SNIFFS ] FINE. 511 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:17,000 FINE. I'LL JUST PUT THIS IN THE BACK-TO-SCHOOL FREEZER. 512 00:22:17,033 --> 00:22:18,867 I'LL EAT IT. 513 00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:20,733 YOU'RE GONNA EAT 15 HAMBURGERS, 514 00:22:20,767 --> 00:22:22,800 LASAGNA, AND A RACK OF LAMB, ELYSE? 515 00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:26,100 WELL, NOT ALL AT ONE SITTING. 516 00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:30,433 HEY, ANDY. 517 00:22:30,467 --> 00:22:33,733 SORRY I RUINED YOUR FIRST WEEK AT PRESCHOOL. 518 00:22:33,767 --> 00:22:36,700 IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE MY ONLY BROTHER. 519 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:40,000 I GET A LITTLE CRAZY WHEN IT COMES TO YOU, 520 00:22:40,033 --> 00:22:44,400 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU ARE DESTINED FOR GREATNESS -- 521 00:22:44,433 --> 00:22:46,400 THE SAME WAY THAT JENNIFER IS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS, 522 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:49,500 THE WAY I'M DESTINED FOR GREATNESS, 523 00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:53,700 AND, UH, MALLORY'S DESTINED TO BE CARED FOR BY THE STATE. 524 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,400 BUT YOU CAN GO AT YOUR OWN PACE, OKAY? 525 00:22:57,433 --> 00:22:59,167 I'M NOT GONNA PUSH YOU TOO HARD. 526 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,300 IF YOU EVER NEED ANY ADVICE, COME TO ME. 527 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,233 IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, 528 00:23:04,267 --> 00:23:06,267 COME TO YOUR BIG BROTHER, ALL RIGHT? 529 00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:10,133 JUST DON'T ASK ME TO BEAT UP ANYBODY FOR YOU, 530 00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:11,500 ONCE YOU GET PAST FIVE. 531 00:23:11,533 --> 00:23:14,700 ALEX LOVES ME. 532 00:23:14,733 --> 00:23:17,000 YOU BET HE DOES. 533 00:23:17,033 --> 00:23:18,367 [ GRUNTS ] 534 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,700 LET'S GO GET SOME BURGERS, HUH? 535 00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:22,300 OH, ANDY... 536 00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:23,600 YOU DRIVE. 39469

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