All language subtitles for The Cleveland Show s04e21 Mr & Mrs Brown.eng

(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown

♪ And I am proud to be

♪ Right back in my hometown

♪ With my new family

♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪

♪ And even a bear

♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪

♪ It's true love we share

♪ And so I found a place

♪ Where everyone will know

♪ My happy mustached face

♪ This is The
Cleveland Show. ♪

(chuckles)

(tweeting)

Mama, let me
get a candy bar!

I want a candy
bar, too.

Wait, I said
that weird.

I want two
candy bars.

You boys got some
candy bar money?

Yes, I put it in your purse.

Oh, honey, I spent
that money a long time ago.

Ooh, I hope they're doing
Shakespeare in Love.

Cleveland, we're going.

Of course we are.

Go, go.

(grunts)

Football.

Good thing I wore
my cup to the park.

Aah, cup's on backwards.

Put it on over my butt.

Let's play football!

You can't keep up
with those guys.

You get winded
opening your e-mail.

(laughs)

Ha, she said you...

(panting)

...get winded.

(panting)
Somebody else talk.

(sighs)

Roberta, watch these boys and
don't let them have any candy.

You got some
"watch these boys" money?

Oh, sure thing, baby.

(horn blows)

(speaks low, indistinctly)

(bird tweeting)

(barks twice)

Just a dog here.

Unless there's a horny male
dog creeping up behind me.

In which case, I'm just a kid
trying to steal a candy bar.

I'ma burn you, sucka-punk.

QUARTERBACK: Hut!
(players grunting)

(snapping)
Ooh, hammy.

Face!

(grunts)

Bones!

(groans)
Oh, Donna.

Donna!

Cleveland, did you
mess your drawers?

No, thankfully, I had
my cup on backwards.

Can you kiss my oucha-oucha
boo-boos, Donna?

I'm not your mother.

Will you at least take
me to the drive-through

for a feel-better milkshake?

Come on, kids.

You know the drill.

(all grunting)

Aah!

Where did this come from?

I hope a tree.

Rallo, did you
steal this?

What? Oh, 'cause I'm black?

Well, one of you
boys stole it.

And, until someone comes
clean, you're both grounded.

Oh, for why?

On whose authority?

And, Roberta, you were
supposed to be watching them.

You're grounded, too.

Nah-uh, how you
gonna cage a hurricane?

You know what?
Because of that...

everybody's grounded!

(all groan)

But it's my quinceaera.

You in America now.

Cleveland, you need to
know your limitations.

You're playing tackle football
with kids half your age.

Some of those boys didn't
even have hair on their chest.

Mmm.

Donna, bring me pictures of
when I was young and beautiful.

I wish to look at them.

Oh, Cleveland,
my poor baby.

Oh, Cleveland,
my poor baby.

And I'm hungry.

You're not feeding him?

He's wearing
all our food.

I knew one day I'd walk in
here and see you on the couch

covered in someone's meat.

I need you to take your mama
to some country club.

They gonna be hobnobbing
and cob gobbling,

so naturally,
I thought of you.

It's the Silver Sunset
Retirement Society's

open house and I want
to be a member.

Your father can't come
because he's spending

the weekend putting
money on horses.

Yeah, big booby horses.

Well, I'm out.

Bye, dorks.

Bye, Dad.

Please help me, Cleveland.

And on the way, we can stop
for a feel-better milkshake.

Can we also go
on a tugboat?

Where else would
we drink it?

Yay.

All right, you booger eaters,
my punishment is being

in charge of your punishment.

And I won't tolerate
any humping, bumping,

krumping, or dumping.

What?

Thanks a lot, Rallo.

I've never been
grounded before.

Look, relax,
you're squeaky clean.

As long as we apologize,
Mama will unground us,

time served, and you can go on
about your creepy business.

I'm not apologizing
for something I didn't do.

You stole that candy.

Fine, then I guess we're stuck
here till you change your mind.

Look away.

No, don't.

Get used to this.

Well, at least my physical
pain's a little better.

Thanks for that pill, Mom.

The doctors just keep
signing the slips.

Well, bang my bottom,
look at this place.

Oh, Cleveland, I could
have a community here.

Don't you wish
you were retiring?

(sighs)
I wouldn't get in.

I'm probably too weak
and frail even for these walking corpses.

No offense, Mom.

Yowzers.
What an arm.

That black man
can really play.

Well, Lordy-loo.

That was a
granddaddy of a throw.

You two must be
prospective members.

I'm Neighbors Kellogg,
President of the Silver Sunset Society.

I'm Cleveland
and this is Cookie.

Well, come on,
lickity-split.

The Tournament of Leisure
Sports and Reckless Gin Sipping

is about to begin.

And with you here,
we're sure to have a gay time.

You're gay.

Well, thank you.

Ugh, they're pathetic.

Muhammad Ali could
beat these people.

Heck, I could beat
these people.

And that would earn me
a shot at Muhammad Ali.

♪

♪ Slam, slam,
da-da-da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Let the boys be boys

♪ Slam, slam,
da-da-da, da-da-da ♪

♪ Make noise, B-boys

♪ Well, it's another one
in the gutter one ♪

♪ Ghetto running them,
troublesome ♪

♪ Extra double dumb,
I come to beat 'em ♪

Aah!

♪ Now everybody wanna
sound grimy ♪

♪ I'm gonna show you how, come
on, all in together now ♪

♪ Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah,
that's how... ♪

Well, wang dang doodle.

Congratulations,
Cookie and Cleveland.

Champions of leisure
sporting and all things old.

Yay!

I'm out of my funk.

King of the old people.

Anything is possible!

What he's trying to say is,
we love it here.

And here loves you
and your husband.

She's not my husband.

(chuckling)
Of course not.

You're exactly the type
of couple we consider

for membership here
at Silver Sunset.

But...

Thank you, Neighbors.

My husband and I are honored
to be in consideration.

She was a lot hotter
when I met her.

(gulping)

Ah!

So, Cookie, how did you
and your husband meet?

Uh, well,

we actually met
in Stoolbend, 42 years ago.

On his birthday.

Oh, oh, oh.

(laughs)
She's right.

We met in a hospital.

In a delivery room.

She had some guy
spank my bottom.

Then she took me home
to her place

and we've been
together ever since.

Cleveland, you're adorable.

My favorite animal
is a walrus.

(all laughing)

Well, I'll be.

I've seen enough.

A toast, to the newest members

of the Silver Sunset Society,

the Browns.

We'll make it official
at the New Members Ball,

night after tomorrow.

(both gasp)

As for tonight, you've had
too many cocktails to drive.

Nine.

So, we'll put you up
at the hotel across the way.

I'll book you two lovebirds
in the honeymoon suite,

please and yes, thank you.

(laughing)

(bed springs squeaking,
Cleveland laughing)

Fancy hotel room!

Chug, ch-- oh, you're done.

(music playing on TV)

It's so great watching
a rom-com with you.

Donna never watches rom-coms.

Never even lets
me say "rom-com."

What's this rom-com, Mom?

Oh, they're all the same.

As long as there's a
stupid misunderstanding.

And a shopping montage.

BOTH:
And a race to the airport.

(both laugh, sigh)

How did I get so lucky to
come out of a woman like you?

Don't be low-rent, sweetie.

Hi, Donna.

Hi, Donna's mom.

Hi, Cleveland.

Heard you had a little
slumber party with your mom.

(both laugh)

His mother's the worst.
She's all...

(imitating Cookie)
Oh, Cleveland, I'ma join

a fancy-people club
where they probably don't

let you wear jean pants.

I'm shaped like a potato.

Oh, I think I've seen
her around town.

She walk like this?

(makes fart sounds)

No, it's more like this.

(both making fart sounds
and laughing)

She has colitis.

Ooh, sticking up for her.

It sounds like your mom's
turning into your girlfriend.

Oh, real fair, making
fun of me when my mom's

not even here to defend me.

Well, just remember,
I'm the one you married.

Oh, can you pick up
a bottle of wine

for Shakespeare in the Park?

Of course.

How else you
gonna be any fun?

You got a weird husband.

Who's my dad?

Cleveland, look
who stopped by.

Neighbors and
his second wife.

I guess they were
in the Neighbors-hood.

(all laughing)

Get it?
His name's Neighbors?

You better save
some of that wordplay

for the New Members
Ball tomorrow.

And tonight we'd
love you to join us

for Shakespeare
in the Park.

Shakespeare in the Park?

They have that?

Yes, it's horrible.

You two should
come with us.

It'll be a double date.

Uh-oh, double trouble
with this crew.

I'll bring this bottle of wine
I picked up for some reason.

(grunting)

I'm getting strong in lockup.

What're you reading?

We didn't have the
Koran, so I'm reading

my leather-bound
Judy Blume collection.

(chuckles)
That girl's called Blubber.

What a fat ass.

ROBERTA:
Prisoner one and prisoner 19, report downstairs.

All right, just say you're
sorry and we'll be fine.

I'm not saying sorry.

I didn't do anything.

Fine, then every
man for himself.

Now, what happened?

First off, I'd like to
say the punishment was fair.

I was even able
to earn my TV/VCR

repair certificate in here.

Second, we may never know
exactly what happened

that unfortunate afternoon
in the park,

but I take full responsibility
for my part,

whatever it may
or may not have been.

That took guts, Rallo.

Junior?

I did not steal
that candy bar.

That's it.

Do you think I'm running
a clown shop, Junior?

Candy chocolate bar?

Your sweet teeth?

I know you did it.

No.

Rallo, you showed remorse.

You are free to go.

Junior, you fat liar, you
are grounded indefinitely.

What?
Hosanna!

Gavel, gavel.

Living room adjourned.

Mama, I let Rallo go.

Is that okay?

Oh, you guys
still doing that?

Whatever.

I'm going to
Shakespeare in the Park.

If Cleveland ever gets here.

WOMAN:
Art though not Romeo and a Montague?

MAN:
Neither, fair saint, either if thee dislike.

WOMAN:
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?

The orchard walls are high
and hard to climb,

and the place death,
considering who thou art...

Good tidings, milady.

Cleveland, where were you?

With my mom, Mommy.

We were supposed to go to
Shakespeare in the Park.

Uh, Earth to Donna, we were
at Shakespeare in the Park.

So you took your
mom on my date?

I sat here all night
waiting for you.

Also, my mom said the wine
you like isn't good.

She said it's cheap.

She said it was
for country people.

You know what,
if your mom's so great,

why don't you go
live with her?

Maybe I will.

Or shall.

Anon. Lear.

Gonorrhea.

Shakespeare.

(lute playing)

It's good, right?

Yeah, yeah, I like it.

You want to go home?

Yeah, I've seen enough.

And then she shut the
door firmly behind me.

The very same door I watched

her sand, stain and install.

How dare she treat
my Cleveland that way?

And then she kicked me
to the curb.

The curb that I watched
her stencil our number on

with my own eyes.

You always did
have good eyes.

Wow, mac and cheese
for breakfast?

I don't know whether to put
ketchup or maple syrup on it.

Why not both?

I can't make these things
for your dad

because he has
high blood pressure.

I do, too.

I just don't care.

Thanks for being there
for me, Mrs. Brown.

Well, thanks
for helping me get

into the Silver
Sunset Society, Mr. Brown.

(giggles)

Your lunch, Mr. Brown.

Thank you, Mrs. Brown.

What do we got today?

Oh, okay.

Mac and cheese.

Again.

I know it's your favorite.

Yep, used to be.

Good memory.

Oh, so guess who I ran
into at the market?

No idea.

Gina Hefner.
Uh-huh.

And she told me a very
interesting thing.

You remember the Hefners?
Uh-huh.

Well, you remember Trudy
Hefner? Never heard of her.

I think she was a couple
years younger than you. Yeah.

And her brother
ran track? Okay.

They had a parade
for him, I think. What?

Oh, and that's the family
that used to walk everywhere.

Remember, that we would see?

I do remember that
we would see them.

Ah...

ANNOUNCER:
Shakes off the tackle, he's on the 15...

Snack time, Mr. Brown?

That was the end
of the game, Mrs. Brown,

and you can't
pause a 1975 Zenith.

Here, I made you
a little mac snack.

Well, I just ate lunch
20 minutes ago.

Now eat it quick, 'cause I'm
taking you to the fabric store.

I'm making you
some new pants.

COOKIE:
Cleveland!

Are you done going through
those boxes of your old stuff?

Still doing it, Ma.

Been down here
a minute and a half.

Woman's got no
concept of time.

COOKIE:
You want to come with me to the beauty parlor?

Kind of beauty parlored out.

COOKIE:
All right.

Well, I'll be back
after I stop at the store

to pick up some more
mac and cheese.

Ugh.

(door closes)
Finally,

I can get out of these
stupid homemade pants.

(groaning and grunting)

Cleveland, I forgot to ask...

(screams)

(yells)

She pursued me.

Hey, hey, hey.

What if I was this guy?

Look at me, I'm eating sand.

What would you do?

Uh, what?

Sorry man, my mind
is somewhere else.

Does it have anything to do
with why Fatty Smalls

is staring down
at us and crying?

I should be in there, too.

I'm done playing with you.

Clean up the sandbox
and drive yourself home.

You make me sick.

Mom?

Yes, sweetheart?

(clears throat)

Off-color terms for a
woman's privates include:

(bleep), (bleep),

and most offensively, (bleep).

Hey, man.

I couldn't let you serve
out this sentence alone.

So, is that top bunk taken?

Junior?

You sleep on the floor,
'cause you're my bitch.

Please don't knock
my teeth out.

You're five,
you'll grow more.

Mama!

DONNA:
What?

It was me.
I stole the candy bar.

Junior had nothing
to do with it, I swear.

Please, let him go.

DONNA: Roberta?
ROBERTA: Fine by me.

Thanks, Rallo.

But do let me know
when your teeth fall out.

(giggles)

Walking down the stairs.

Entering the room.

Put all your bits away.

Mom, we have to talk.
About us.

Cleveland, why aren't you
ready for the New Members Ball?

Because I'm not taking you.

We need some time apart.

What?!

I can't go to the ball alone.

I ain't Sandy Bullocks.

No, I'm not going.

We can't keep
playing this game.

It's not natural.

It was Adam and Eve,
not Adam and Mrs....

Huh, what was
Adam's last name?

They never tell you.

Probably had a
Jewish last name.

(crying)

I'll just steal this suitcase.

("Total Eclipse of the Heart"
intro plays)

(clock cuckoos)

(sighs)
♪ Turn around

♪ Every now and then

♪ I get a little bit lonely

What have I done?

♪ And I need you now tonight

♪ And I need you more...

(big bang music playing)

Lordy-Lordy-loo,
I'm very sorry to hear

about Cleveland's
terrible motorcycle death.

But that was Cleveland.

Forever young.

Mom! Mommy!

I'm here. I'm sorry.

Go away, Cleveland, quick.

Now just what in
the heck is going on here?

First you're married,
then you're dead,

and now she's your mom?

(crowd murmuring)

Yes.
(crowd gasps)

Settle down, it's not
what you think.

I mean, have we shared
a bed lately? Sure.

(crowd groans)

Why, you're nothing but
a dirty, rotten mother lover.

It's true.

I love my mom.

And why wouldn't I?

Moms treat us best.

They say we're tall
and handsome,

they touch our socks
when no one else will.

And they save our drawings.

This guy knows what
I'm talking about.

He came with
his mom tonight.

MAN:
That's my wife.

Aah, sick.

My point is, it's
okay to love your mom.

Tell her so, right now.

Come on, take out your phones,
give 'em a call.

MAN:
Our moms are dead.

No heckling.

What do you say,
Neighbors?

Won't you let her
into your stupid club?

Mmm, very well,

if she's willing to pay
the $6,000 initiation fee.

$6,000?!

Cleveland, please pay
the $6,000 initiation fee.

Would you accept an
unintentionally used

and toothy
seamstress mannequin?

Please and yes,
thank you.

Now let's go home, Cleveland.

I'm a potato.

(farting)

Wow, Donna was dead-on.

Oh, my God, Donna.

Oh, what have I done?

♪ And I need you now tonight

♪ And I need you

♪ And I need you
more than ever... ♪

Dee Dee, where's Donna?

I'm sorry, Donna got tired
of waiting for you.

She's flying to Paris
to start life anew.

Her flight leaves
in 15 minutes.

(takes deep breath)

Who was Donna's father?

♪ And I need you now tonight

I picked the wrong night

to break in
these new penny loafers.

♪ And if you only
hold me tight ♪

♪ We'll be holding
on forever ♪

♪ And we'll only
be making it right... ♪

No, Donna!

My moon and my stars.

DONNA:
Hey, baby.

I couldn't get on
that plane, Cleveland.

I love you too much.

Also, I don't
have a passport.

My mom keeps my
passport for me,

along with the rest of
my important documents.

But as much as I love her,
I can't have sex with her.

Donna, you're my wife.

And there's nothing
I can do about that.

Oh, Cleveland.

So you're done
dating your mom?

Yeah.
Good,

then I won't have to
run off with your dad.

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