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1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,097
(funky disco plays)
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,435
♪ And I am proud to be
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,470
♪ Right back in my hometown
4
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:11,436
♪ With my new family
5
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,375
♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,681
♪ And even a bear
7
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:18,183
♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
8
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,545
♪ It's true love we share
9
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,893
♪ And so I found a place
10
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:24,459
♪ Where everyone will know
11
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,288
♪ My happy mustached face
12
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:30,533
♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪
13
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,071
Son, as a rite of passage,
you must now pick one
14
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,971
of these disgusting
creatures to be yours.
15
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:43,884
(laughs)
We're just like that father and son on Cathouse.
16
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:46,148
Uch. That show's only
worth watching
17
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:49,817
when you're too tired
to get your computer.
18
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:50,717
(gobbling)
19
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:53,917
(voice breaks):
Oh! Sometimes I see so much of your mother in you.
20
00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,994
(giggles)
I choose this one, Daddy.
21
00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:01,934
He put his pecker
in my mouth.
22
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,929
Okay, okay.
Shoot it.
23
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,001
What? I'm not shooting
this turkey!
24
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,930
Killing innocent animals
is wrong.
25
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,095
No animals are innocent.
26
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,944
They're all
guilty of something.
27
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,509
Besides, you eat turkey
all the time.
28
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,108
That's turkey the food.
29
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,880
This is turkey
the animal.
30
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,508
Benjamin Franklin thought
turkeys were so noble,
31
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:23,084
he suggested they be America's
national bird.
32
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:26,124
Benjamin Franklin was
an atheist pedophile
33
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,090
who flew kites
to meet children.
34
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:30,089
That's why God struck
him with lightning.
35
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,291
I won't do it! No!
36
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,593
(gobbling)
37
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,797
Mama! Mama! This is it!
Over here!
38
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,970
Rallo, what is this
I let you wake me up
39
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,469
and drive me
down here for?
40
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:46,571
The Thanksgiving Day parade
float registration!
41
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,544
Come on, Mama.
I've been talking about this
42
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:52,212
since Febu... Febra...
since before March.
43
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,983
Um, are y'all here
for the, um,
44
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,081
Thanksgiving float
registration?
45
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,483
Yeah, give us that clipboard,
you burnout.
46
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,286
And forget everything you know
about floats.
47
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:05,088
'Cause ours will be the Cadillac
of the 1970s of floats.
48
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,732
It's gonna be
the kind of float
49
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,627
that when it goes by,
people say,
50
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,969
"Huh, look at that float.
Oh, here comes another one."
51
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,795
Everyone's sitting
with turkeys,
52
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,835
and I gave birth to one.
53
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,470
Where is your embarrassment
of a son?
54
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,235
He's probably at home taking
baths with lady products.
55
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:29,106
But tomorrow, after I take
my bath with cinnamon essence,
56
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,116
I am going to take him
to kill a turkey!
57
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:35,949
Yours are a fragrant
and fascinating people.
58
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,416
Thank you.
59
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,834
Oh, Cleveland,
those curly fries
60
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:43,127
are for fathers and sons
who are bonding, so...
61
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:46,200
Oh, these?
No one gets them!
62
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,300
And I call
you can't order any more!
63
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,442
Gus, You'll give us
more, right?!
64
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,537
Sorry, fellas, it's been called.
65
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,670
Alfredo, no mas curly fries!
66
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,706
¿Por que?
67
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,510
Por que Cleveland called it.
68
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,713
That's por que!
69
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:03,124
Okay, Dick.
70
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:08,147
Mama, I finished my design
for our float.
71
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,815
It's a turkey.
72
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,563
And that's the sun.
Why is he smiling?
73
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,190
Perhaps it's the good-lookin'
turkey float.
74
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,626
Mm-hmm. That's great, Rallo.
75
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,230
You think we can knock this
out in time for Judge Mathis?
76
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,233
It's a good one
about a lawnmower.
77
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,135
Hi, Donna.
A little turd told me
78
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:27,208
that you're competing in
the float contest this year.
79
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,208
Rallo was the turd.
80
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,410
It's a contest?!
81
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,311
Rallo, you didn't tell me that,
you little turd!
82
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:34,884
Don't get too excited.
83
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:39,852
The same bitch has won
the contest for ten years: me.
84
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:40,653
(laughs)
85
00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,993
RAYMOND:
There's a boat chasing us!
86
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,190
Listen up, Rallo.
87
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,890
I am not about to lose
to Miss Teddy Suxpin over there.
88
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,334
A'ight.
89
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,056
I can't believe
we're going
90
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,766
to the Pillsbury
Doughboy's house!
91
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,097
I can't believe
you believe it either.
92
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,700
Was that a gun?
93
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,206
Hmm? Oh, no, I'm not
about to trick you
94
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,268
into shooting a turkey.
95
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,776
You know,
it's a long trip.
96
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,578
Why don't you put
your seat back,
97
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,580
take a nap, and I'll wake
you up when we get there?
98
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,353
I'm too excited to sleep.
99
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:14,122
Nonsense.
Catch some Zs for Pa-pa?
100
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:17,221
Here's a blanket,
Larry the Leopard,
101
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,364
a eye pillow,
and this.
102
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,204
Good night.
(snores)
103
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:26,297
(whimpers)
104
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,370
What the...?!
105
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,568
Where's the
Pillsbury Doughboy?!
106
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:32,040
Dead, Junior!
The turkeys did it!
107
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,469
In cold gobbly blood!
108
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:37,535
His last words were,
"Avenge me, Junior!"
109
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,314
Then he poked himself
in the stomach,
110
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,813
giggled, and died.
111
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,484
Kill 'em!
Kill 'em all!
112
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,623
You sons of bitches!
113
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,048
Wait a minute.
114
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,823
This isn't the
Doughboy residence!
115
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,391
You tricked me!
116
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:52,420
I will not murder with you!
(grunts)
117
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:55,756
Why can't you just be more
like the D.C. Sniper's son?
118
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,633
Stop comparing me
to Lee Boyd Malvo!
119
00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,972
I'm not him!
120
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,297
Fine. I'll do it.
121
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,503
(turkey gobbles)
122
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,138
Please, Dad,
don't do this!
123
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:10,141
I'm gonna put a duck
in your butt.
124
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:14,184
And then I'm gonna put a
chicken in the duck's butt.
125
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:19,351
(screaming)
126
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,352
Ow!
127
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,185
Oh.
128
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:26,359
I... suspect... fowl... play.
129
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:31,761
I can live with that being
my final joke ever. (grunts)
130
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,211
Doctor, you can stop lighting
matches under his elbow.
131
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,208
He's awake.
132
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,309
Aw.
133
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:44,940
Am I dead?
134
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,205
No, Mr. Brown,
you're very much alive.
135
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,845
Luckily, your many
layers of stomach fat
136
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,681
slowed the bullet
before it finally lodged
137
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,846
in the part of your liver
that's already dead.
138
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,885
If you were shot three or four
inches to either side,
139
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,331
you would have still been
shot in the fat.
140
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,827
(all laugh)
141
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,730
(grunting)
142
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:08,727
Ta-da!
143
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,396
Junior, you were right.
144
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,344
Now I know what it feels like
to be hunted and shot.
145
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:17,040
Those poor gobblers.
Killing turkeys is wrong!
146
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,754
Except in cases
of rape and incest.
147
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,247
We need to stop this!
Let's go, Junior!
148
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,992
Aw, yeah, watch out, Arianna!
149
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:32,059
Someone's making a quaint
and homespun float ovah heah!
150
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,989
Well, if you like it now,
151
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:38,004
you're gonna love it with some
fluorescent pink splatter paint!
152
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:42,598
Ah, oh, okay,
a pink turkey, sure.
153
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:45,043
I know! My poo cray!
154
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,568
Here come the googly eyes!
155
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,714
Googly eyes?
156
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,609
You trying
to make a fool of Donna?!
157
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,241
I mean, what fun.
158
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:55,376
I know! And I got some
bubble wrap to throw on it.
159
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,052
Ooh, and you know what else
would be cool?
160
00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:02,090
A book of your stamps.
And macaroni...!
161
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,364
Oh, Donna, your float
is inferior to mine.
162
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:11,102
(chuckles) Burn!
163
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,928
Well, what she doesn't know
is I've got the last word
164
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:17,204
in taste and design, and I'm
about to pull out the big gun!
165
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,774
Tim Gunn!
166
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,912
Donna, your float
makes me want to vomit.
167
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,479
Which in the
fashion industry is
168
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,137
like a standing ovation.
169
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,745
So I'm a little
torn here.
170
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,147
Make it work.
171
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,918
Bitch, you make it work.
172
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:33,388
I also say "wow factor."
173
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,587
CLEVELAND:
What do we want?!
174
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,088
To stop killing
turkeys!
175
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,719
When do we want it?!
176
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,764
We haven't really
talked about it yet!
177
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,130
Well, when are you
free to discuss it?
178
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,829
What's your Tuesday like?
179
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,561
Tennis lessons!
180
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,126
Honey, move along.
They're insane.
181
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:51,065
♪
182
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:16,862
Gentlemen, I have
two words for you:
183
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,534
Can you... Dig it?
184
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,773
What? No!
This isn't my float!
185
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,538
I don't understand.
186
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,637
Hi, boys.
187
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,768
Aw, I was hoping to
surprise you, Rallo.
188
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,674
Isn't she
magnificent?
189
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:33,776
But... what about my ideas?
What about the googly eyes?!
190
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,710
Oh, I loved
all your ideas!
191
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,646
So much so that
I took them one step further
192
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:42,152
and thought, "What if the float
didn't have googly eyes?"
193
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,685
Then I ran with that.
194
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,190
Say what?
195
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,162
Now you can finally get
the revenge
196
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,130
you've always wanted
against Arianna.
197
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,471
Fellas, when's
the last time y'all went
198
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,667
totally ballistic
on a big bird?
199
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,369
It's been a minute.
200
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:01,140
Yeah, yeah!
201
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,211
(boys ululating)
202
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,740
Junior, my feet hurt.
I'm tired.
203
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,576
Are we even making
a difference?
204
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:11,181
I mean, has a protest
ever really effected change?
205
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,084
A little history
lesson, Dad.
206
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,246
In 2007, as President Bush
was preparing
207
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,056
to send another 20,000
brave American soldiers
208
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,429
to fight and probably die in
an unpopular and unwinnable war,
209
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,759
protesters like you
and me stood up
210
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:29,025
for what they believed in and
sent 20 tons of peanuts to CBS
211
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,596
to get Jerichoback on the air.
212
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:32,765
Did it work?
213
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,713
Did it work?
Why don't you ask
214
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:38,408
the seven additional episodes
CBS ordered?
215
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,782
You idiots have been
so annoying that
216
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,711
folks hate turkeys
more than ever.
217
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,216
Business is a-boomin'!
218
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:48,287
In fact, all 27 remaining
turkeys are scheduled
219
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:52,018
to be hunted down
tomorrow. (laughs)
220
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,685
Oh, my God! How sad.
221
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,100
(applause)
222
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,943
(cheering and applause)
223
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,208
(scattered applause)
224
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,275
No in memumoriam!
We must save Fred!
225
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,452
And Alex! And Marvin!
226
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,881
And Jeff Conaway!
227
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,616
Are those
really the turkeys' names?
228
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,192
I didn't see
whatever you saw.
229
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:31,434
Okay, we'll break out the
turkeys tonight and hide them.
230
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,671
Then, tomorrow
when everyone's at the parade,
231
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,227
we'll take them to the
Goochland Turkey Preserve.
232
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,896
You and I would
make good cats.
233
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:41,674
Stay focused,
but I do agree with you.
234
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,905
Meow, meow.
235
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:00,828
Damn it!
236
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:15,208
Whew.
237
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,175
Hello, friend.
238
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,851
When you shot me,
239
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,519
you saved my life.
240
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:28,189
And now I shall
return the favor.
241
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,991
Freedom!
242
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,532
Shut the (bleep) up, man!
243
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,528
You're right.
244
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,998
Let's stick to the plan and get
these guys to the safe house.
245
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,029
And make sure Lester
doesn't see us
246
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,074
or else he'll kill us
in the faces.
247
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,414
Oh! Round 'em up, Junior.
248
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,667
But how are we going
to get them to follow us?
249
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,136
You just leave that to you.
250
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,653
(gobbling)
251
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,050
Our garage.
252
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,751
(gobbling)
253
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,994
Underground Railroad.
254
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,319
(gobbling)
255
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,768
We're coming.
256
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,139
(Cleveland Jr. gobbles)
257
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,239
(gobbling)
258
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,945
(whispering):
Shh. Be quiet.
259
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,577
Mr. Barkington's
sleeping on the porch.
260
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:40,888
Hey!
261
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,904
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
262
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,197
Hey! Hey!
263
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,300
Password?
264
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,465
Knock-knock-a-roonie-doonie.
265
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,005
Exact-a-rooonie-boonie!
266
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,545
(gobbling)
267
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,655
Hello!
268
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,587
Whoa!
269
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,732
Let's go!
270
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,360
(gobbling)
271
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,465
Safe at last.
272
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,575
Keep these suckers
in here for the night.
273
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,907
Y'all lay low in here
for a little while.
274
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,483
I'll come back
with some pizzas.
275
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,481
Y'all fine with Papa John?
276
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,123
You know what?
277
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,318
We're bringing them peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches.
278
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,690
Them dumb birds...
don't know the difference.
279
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,793
Ooh...
280
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:53,566
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
281
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,837
How are we gonna
sneak out those birds?
282
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,438
I just got an idea...
283
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,175
and lost it,
and now it's back...
284
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,550
and I should write it down
before I forget again...
285
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,519
Damn it. What was it?
Give me a second...
286
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,018
Got it! Wait, lost it...
287
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,690
A-ha!
288
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:19,519
Rallo! It's almost time
for the parade
289
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,626
and our float's been
completely trashed!
290
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:22,858
We're screwed!
291
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,833
Oh, yeah, yeah, I trashed it.
292
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,131
(gasps)
293
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,002
Because you trashed my dream
294
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,701
of making a float with my
mother's love and support!
295
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:34,314
Oh, Rallo, what have I done?
296
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,207
I know! I'm your son!
297
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,639
That should be more important
than any old contest!
298
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,035
No!
299
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,006
I mean,
I set Arianna's float on fire!
300
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,145
Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.
301
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,051
I never should
have let you down.
302
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,523
I'm going to run
to the store
303
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,661
and buy all the
googly eyes they have!
304
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,290
Oh, the bear-manity!
305
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,665
Hello, Cleveland.
306
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:07,111
Did you hear somebody stole
all my turkeys last night?
307
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,667
No. How are you?
308
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,836
Fine.
309
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:13,014
Midmorning's kind of
a funny time
310
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,383
to be hanging out
near your garage.
311
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,622
Lester, you need to relax
and enjoy Thanksgiving,
312
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,318
because the holidays
go by in a... flash!
313
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,759
Well, I'll be.
314
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,729
I didn't know you were
a flasher, too?
315
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,227
Yeah, I'm trying
to get back into it.
316
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,800
(whispering)
Now! Hurry!
317
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:35,228
So, Les... you've done
some flashing yourself, huh?
318
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,565
I dabble.
319
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,769
Weddings and
bar mitzvahs, mostly.
320
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,741
Just a little
constructive criticism...
321
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:43,139
your lengthy flash is
appreciated, but not necessary.
322
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,713
You really just want
to give the people a taste.
323
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,612
That's why they
call it a "flash."
324
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:54,624
Oh...
325
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,421
...kay.
326
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,763
Welp, me and the boy
327
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,887
better get our float
over to the parade.
328
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,763
Oh, well have fun!
329
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:02,731
Happy Thanksgiving!
330
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,329
I'll kill ya
if you stole my birds!
331
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,331
Never imagined
he'd have gone gray down there.
332
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,874
Reminds me of when I saw
Bill Russell at that urinal.
333
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:14,673
(gasps)
Mama double-crossed me!
334
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,344
She's taking my float
to the parade
335
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,743
without me or my googly eyes!
336
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,478
Mama, you're a dead man!
337
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,093
Damn it, Walt!
338
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,419
If you gonna borrow
my Big Wheel,
339
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,193
fill it up before
you bring it back!
340
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:39,359
Kendra!
341
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,096
CLEVELAND:
We did it, Junior!
342
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,671
We saved 27 turkeys.
343
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,940
Uh-oh.
344
00:16:48,974 --> 00:16:50,344
See?
345
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,713
That explains why
I said "uh-oh."
346
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,012
Uh-oh.
347
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,514
(sniffing)
348
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,015
Yeah.
349
00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:00,076
♪
350
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,686
(tires screech)
351
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:05,189
Great float!
352
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,261
Go on through.
353
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,526
Damn, people be tall.
354
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:17,902
(grunts)
Hey!
355
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,886
Whoa, I'm higher
than Woody Harrelson
356
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,647
listening to
Dark Side of the Moon
357
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,885
at Matthew McConaughey's
beach house!
358
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:41,762
Right in the middle
of these two.
359
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,231
That's where we want to be.
360
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,859
DONNA:
Thanks!
361
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,564
I love your store, Michael.
362
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,266
Come back soon!
363
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,568
And Donna?
364
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,739
You're doing the right
thing for Rallo.
365
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,738
I know.
366
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,869
I really am a great mom.
367
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,044
With a great ass!
368
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,613
Michael...
369
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,678
My baby!
370
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,794
All right, you two,
give me the birds!
371
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,820
Nevah!
372
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,401
(gobbling)
373
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,430
(cheering)
374
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,974
Fine, I'll just kill 'em myself.
375
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,484
Lester's Turkey Hunt is back on!
376
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,437
(gunshot)
377
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,081
Rallo!
378
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,823
I'm here, baby! Don't move!
379
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,078
Mama?
380
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,386
Oh, Mama.
You brought the googly eyes!
381
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:45,488
You do love me
more than a parade float!
382
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,262
(turkeys gobbling)
383
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,861
(screaming)
384
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,271
My baby! My baby!
385
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,597
Ma'am, there's
no need to panic.
386
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,032
Those power lines
will stop him.
387
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,314
(gasps)
388
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,937
(grunting)
Cleveland!
389
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:03,982
Help!
390
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,937
(yells)
(gasps)
391
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,405
Is that the little kid
from upstairs?
392
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,030
That balloon is outrageous!
393
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,561
(farting)
394
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,169
(screams)
395
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,528
Ya happy?
396
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,036
Rallo's gonna die
397
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,297
because you had to save
those stupid turkeys.
398
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,006
They are not stupid!
399
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:37,107
Ah!
400
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,440
(gobbling)
401
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,705
(screaming)
402
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,254
(gasping)
403
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,446
(gobbling)
404
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,052
Ah...
405
00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:51,455
Y'all see that?
406
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,117
That poo cray!
407
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:55,126
(cheering)
408
00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:59,033
Every year we have
this (bleep) tradition
409
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,732
to pardon a (bleep) turkey.
410
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,203
This year, I'm pardoning
these 27 (bleep)
411
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,973
for saving this
little (bleep) life.
412
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,541
(cheering)
413
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:10,906
We won the float contest!
414
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,047
Well, we did it, Daddy.
415
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,007
We saved some turkeys.
416
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,645
We sure did.
417
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,980
And son, I don't
tell you this enough,
418
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:23,386
but you're a good,
fat little person.
419
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,059
Hey, let's not go through
the same thing
420
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,829
over our Christmas ham.
421
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,987
Oh, don't worry.
I'll kill a pig.
422
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:32,396
Strangle it with my bare hands.
423
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,598
Watch the life
drain from its eyes.
424
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,031
Mm-hmm.
Eat the sucker for dinner that night.
425
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,996
Tail, gristle, teeth, all of it.
426
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,366
(laughing):
All right.
427
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,905
I'd also like
to kill a person.
428
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,410
What?
I could get away with it too.
429
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,012
Get on a bus,
pay with cash,
430
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,914
kill him where
nobody could hear,
431
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,016
hop back on the bus.
432
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,577
They'd never catch me,
433
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,185
as long as nobody went
flapping their lips about it.
434
00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:58,258
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
435
00:20:58,308 --> 00:21:02,858
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