subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The Cleveland Show s03e18 BMOC.eng

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,702 (funky disco plays) ♪ My name is Cleveland Brown 2 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,005 ♪ And I am proud to be 3 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,138 ♪ Right back in my hometown 4 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,983 ♪ With my new family 5 00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,109 ♪ There's old friends and new friends ♪ 6 00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,145 ♪ And even a bear 7 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,520 ♪ Through good times and bad times ♪ 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,189 ♪ It's true love we share 9 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,347 ♪ And so I found a place 10 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,786 ♪ Where everyone will know 11 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,832 ♪ My happy mustached face 12 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,957 ♪ This is The Cleveland Show. ♪ 13 00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:31,203 (chuckles) 14 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:37,203 Johns Hopkins has a world-class medical program! 15 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,474 Villanova is America's #1 tech school! 16 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,943 Miami of Ohio has hardly any black people! 17 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,942 Donna, can we please go now? 18 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,184 Being in school at night is for janitors. 19 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,550 I know, Cleveland. 20 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,848 But Roberta is going to college in a couple of years 21 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,150 and I'm worried about her future. 22 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,492 You know, we could save ourselves a bunch of time 23 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,647 and just check out the safety schools. 24 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,256 (spits) 25 00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,988 Tufts good. 26 00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:01,094 Come to school. 27 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,095 Major in fire. 28 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,757 Hey,"Don't Ask, Don't Tell," how's the wars goin'? 29 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:06,996 (chuckles) Just kidding. 30 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,931 Thank you for your service. 31 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,496 Would your son or daughter be interested 32 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,304 in a career in the armed forces? 33 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,036 Ha! What are we, poor? 34 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,941 (chuckles) You funny. 35 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,843 But seriously, thank you. 36 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:24,124 Hey, that's my alma mater, Stat! 37 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:26,188 (braying) 38 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,147 (braying) 39 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,015 (both braying) 40 00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:32,994 I take it you'll be attending our homecoming this weekend. 41 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,463 Homecoming's this weekend?! 42 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,132 Oh, I am there! 43 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,860 In spirit, but not actually. 44 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,325 I promised my wife I'd clean out the garage. 45 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:46,035 (clocks ticking) 46 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,670 (clocks cuckooing) 47 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,335 (sighs) 48 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,022 College night? 49 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,847 I'm not going to college. 50 00:01:58,853 --> 00:01:59,993 Rihannadidn't go. 51 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,947 Kim Kardashiandidn't go. 52 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:04,116 "Hide your kids, hide your wife" didn't go 53 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,085 and they're all doing just fine. 54 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,833 My parents is the same way. 55 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,998 They be all, "Yo, Gabriel, go to college like we did 56 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,928 and become professors like we are" and Shabbat. 57 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,534 I'm like, "Blap dat." 58 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,996 Yo, Ro, I wish I could kiss you right now. 59 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,135 Then why don't you? 60 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:21,110 'Cause your 'rents just landed. 61 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,378 Hello, Mrs. Tubbs. Papa Smurf. 62 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,507 I told him I'm Papa Smurf. Kid's a moron. 63 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:29,054 Have a smurfy day! A'ight. 64 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:32,579 Roberta, you need to start thinking about college. 65 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:35,946 So, this weekend, you and I are going on a college tour. 66 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,856 What? I'm not doing that. 67 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,488 This weekend is QUAMMPF. 68 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,963 The Queercore Underground Afrobeat Microhouse 69 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,862 Memphis Soul Post-Metal Folk Festival?! 70 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,134 I don't think so. 71 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,972 19 teenage girls got killed there last year, 72 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,138 according to the CSI episode that was loosely based on it. 73 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,868 I'm more of a Columbo guy. 74 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,943 (imitating Columbo): Hey, where's those criminals? 75 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,042 Cleveland, go drink some water and lie down. 76 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,514 I don't need no water. 77 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,182 (increase TV volume) As for you, young lady, you most certainly are 78 00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:03,422 going on that tour with me. No, I'm not! 79 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,247 No, I'm not. I'm going to QUAMMPF! "L"? There's never any "L"s. 80 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:06,992 The hell you are! I don't need a college tour! 81 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,087 I'm not even going to college! "Love's Labor's Lost!" 82 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,259 Cleveland, turn that off! 83 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,287 Roberta says she's not going to college! 84 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,863 Rihannadidn't go to college. 85 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,591 Kim Kardashian didn't go to college. 86 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,956 Cleveland, those girls have talent 87 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,264 and/or pornography to fall back on. 88 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:20,766 What is Roberta gonna do? 89 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,968 Well, if she learns about shoes, she could sell shoes... 90 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,641 People need shoes... 91 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,339 Shoes. 92 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,836 Well, Larry, thanks for running lines with me, 93 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,206 but I blew the audition. 94 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,575 You'd think they'd never seen a naked 14-ye... 95 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,150 Larry? 96 00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,992 Larry? 97 00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:42,023 Larry? 98 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,434 Where are you, Larry? 99 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,030 (clocks ticking) 100 00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,338 Larry? Larry, where are you? 101 00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,169 (washer buzzes) 102 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:02,874 Please, no. 103 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,907 Please, no. 104 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:11,077 (screams) 105 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,745 What have you done to Larry, woman?! 106 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,124 Oh, I finally washed that nasty thing. 107 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,423 It was all covered in dirt and sweat and drool. 108 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,155 And peanut butter and toothpaste and tears! 109 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,101 That was all part of his essence, 110 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:25,097 and you washed it away! 111 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:28,269 (sniffs) I don't even know who you are anymore! 112 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:32,099 On the bright side, at least you finally did some laundry. 113 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:37,541 I can't believe I can't go back for homecoming 114 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:40,854 just 'cause I have to clean out the stinky old garage. 115 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:43,518 (sighs) Look what's happened to my life. 116 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,687 It's all cleaning the garage and flushing the toilet, 117 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,017 and then it's off to bed by a quarter to 10:00 118 00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:50,923 because if I don't get nine hours, 119 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,264 I can't walk or use my left arm. 120 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,760 Of course, I wake up a few times a night 121 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:59,503 from my acid reflux. (grunting burp) 122 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,530 Gus, some bread? 123 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,995 What's happened to you?! 124 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,043 My best days are behind me. 125 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:07,169 Not like when I was in college. 126 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,474 I was the B.M.O.C.: 127 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,806 Big Mustache on Campus. 128 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,012 Here's that slice of bread you asked for, Cleve... 129 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,984 ♪ 130 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,053 Hi... (giggles) 131 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:30,257 ♪ 132 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:37,635 The answer is four. 133 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,538 That is incorrect. 134 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,869 Don't care. College! 135 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:46,038 ALL: B.M.O.C! B.M.O.C! 136 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,946 B.M.O.C! 137 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,578 CLEVELAND: B.M.O.C! 138 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,383 B.M.O.C! 139 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:54,619 My legs have gotten gross. 140 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:57,191 Too bad you can't just take Roberta on that college trip 141 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,021 because then you could go to homecoming, 142 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,356 and that sounds exactly like what you need 143 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,492 to feel young again. 144 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,296 Lester, that's brilliant! 145 00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,158 Gus, a beer for Lester! 146 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,226 No. 147 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:18,043 Donna, I'm taking Roberta on that college tour. 148 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,705 You better than I?! 149 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,113 (laughing haughtily) 150 00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,446 I mean it! 151 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,080 Look, Roberta doesn't want to go to college 152 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:28,015 because you're making it sound like it's full of nerds. 153 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:31,091 And when I went to college, we hated nerds. 154 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,331 Even made them start their own fraternity. 155 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,927 Now, I'm not gonna lie: they did get their revenge-- 156 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,129 several times, once in paradise. 157 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,002 Nerds! 158 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,130 But why would she listen to you and not me? 159 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:45,466 Because teenage girls are subhuman parasites 160 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,542 who must feast on their mothers' misery to survive. 161 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,941 True. 162 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:53,152 After this weekend, I guarantee she'll want to go to college. 163 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:54,647 You know, Cleveland, you're right. 164 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,308 I don't want to ruin college for her. 165 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,976 She's all yours. 166 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,785 Just make sure she goes to her admissions interview. 167 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,258 I promise. Hey, Roberta! 168 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,487 ROBERTA: What?! I'm taking you on your college tour this weekend! 169 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,163 The hell you are! I'm going to QUAMMPF. 170 00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:12,763 So you can go (bleep) yourself! 171 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,166 If I could do that to myself, 172 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:17,138 I wouldn't be going anywhere this weekend! 173 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,667 (laughing) 174 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,880 Junior, what are you doing bumping around? 175 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,280 It's "this o'clock." 176 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,082 I can't sleep because Larry doesn't smell right. 177 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,854 He smells like Snuggles, the gay fabric softener bear. 178 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,815 Just 'cause I's clean don't mean I don't like it dirty. 179 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:38,955 Hmm! 180 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,829 A'ight, Snuggle. 181 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:41,988 Man, look at yourself. 182 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,325 You're better than this, 183 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:46,300 14 and still sleeping with a stuffed animal. 184 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,930 It's time you learn to sleep on your own. 185 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:52,436 Now get on that demoralized mattress and go to sleep. 186 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,839 I don't know if this is going to work. 187 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,112 Who will watch the door 188 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,109 to make sure a black vampire doesn't come in? 189 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,051 Why you gotta specify black, Junior? 190 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,977 Look, I'm scared, okay? 191 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,022 Shh-shh. It's gonna be fine. 192 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,588 Rallo will watch over you. 193 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:13,191 (humming "Amazing Grace") 194 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,165 Now, remember, Roberta's interview 195 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,468 is at 8:00 tomorrow morning. 196 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,139 Donna, stop worrying. 197 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:27,007 This is going to be the best weekend of Roberta's young life. 198 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,877 Damn right it is. 199 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,247 (starts engine) 200 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,453 CLEVELAND: Roberta, the first thing you need to know 201 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,693 about college is on this tape. 202 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,158 ("Two Princes" by Spin Doctors plays) CLEVELAND: ♪ Yeah... 203 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:47,127 ♪ One, two, princes kneel before you... ♪ 204 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,427 (burping) 205 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,859 Roberta, give me that bread out the glove box! 206 00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,367 This is it, Roberta! College. 207 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,974 Mm. Back on cam. 208 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:06,036 Ooh, look. There's a campus security officer. 209 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,176 He has no weapon and no legal authority. 210 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,981 You can do anything you want to him. 211 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,083 Watch. 212 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,254 Hey! 213 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,952 Don't make me warn you. 214 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:17,264 (laughs) How much you make a year, fake cop? 215 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,087 $65,000. 216 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,092 (deep voice): Really? 217 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,163 (tower bell rings) 218 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,432 See this, Roberta? 219 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,100 This is the College Grill. 220 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,968 We used to just call it "the Grill." 221 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,967 We'd say, "Meet you at the Grill." 222 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,769 Used to come in for grilled cheese... 223 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:34,011 ...at midnight. Can you handle that? 224 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,937 Do you still serve grilled cheeses here? 225 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,113 No, the campus banned trans fats. 226 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,211 (deep voice): Really? (bell tower rings) 227 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,052 Yo, Ro. 228 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,578 Wow, Cleveland, you've inspired me 229 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,284 to explore the campus on my own. 230 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,085 So... meet back here in a day and a half? 231 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,288 Uh-uh, nooo! 232 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,160 I promised your mother I would make you 233 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,789 want to go to college and get you to that interview. 234 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,255 Now, let's check out my old fraternity! 235 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,304 Yay! 236 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,268 Brew bros! 237 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,707 So, I've decided to kill myself. 238 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,178 Is that why you didn't buy any food? 239 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,207 ROBERTA: Kappa Alpha Kappa. 240 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,282 Ah, the KAK house. 241 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,411 Where my KAKs at?! 242 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,276 Cleveland Brown, class of '92, 243 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,245 Keg Return Chair, gettin' your deposits back, y'all! 244 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,994 The B.M.O.C. is back! 245 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,961 Dude, get a load of this lose-bag. 246 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,089 Yeah, let's mess with that scum-hog. 247 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,525 College slang! 248 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,200 Wow, you're the Cleveland Brown? 249 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,630 In pers. 250 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:35,925 We hoped you'd come this weekend! 251 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:36,936 I'm Brad. 252 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,697 That's Murphy, and this is Fart. 253 00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:39,465 (farts) 254 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,373 Awesome. 255 00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,014 You showed up just in time. 256 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,509 We're just about to choose this year's coolest alum, 257 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:46,041 or "Plum Alum." 258 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,906 And if you win, you'll get your name engraved 259 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:49,905 on the wall of fame 260 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:53,615 where the most legendary KAKs are immortalized forever. 261 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,760 The Wall of Fame?! Wow! 262 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,287 What do I need to do to win? 263 00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,661 You'll compete against other alums 264 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,790 in a series of events: beer pong, keg stands, 265 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,526 keg sits, keg squa, beer pound... 266 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,772 Easy! I could be the Plum Alum! 267 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,598 Roberta, you could see me as Plum Alum. 268 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,043 I got Plum Alum in me, right? 269 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,498 You do! 270 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:16,006 You've got to go for it, even if it takes several hours 271 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,939 and you completely forget about me. 272 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:21,014 I'll just be sitting right here on this gross couch. 273 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,615 'Sup? 274 00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:25,247 (laughs) 275 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,321 Dude, I was this close to sealing the deal. 276 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,925 (sighs) 277 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,828 Ba-blap, ba-blap. Ba-blap, ba-blap. 278 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,532 (quacking): QUAMMPF. QUAMMPF. 279 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,804 QUAMMPF. QUAMMPF. 280 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:46,543 Finally, we can get our QUAMMPFs on. 281 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,840 (moaning) 282 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:50,943 Gabriel? 283 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,944 Professor and Professor Friedman. 284 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:57,016 (gasps): You convinced Gabriel to come on the college tour? 285 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,247 I bet you Rebecca Goldman couldn't have done that. 286 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,422 Maybe we are better off with this one. 287 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,491 Your parents teach here at State? 288 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,920 Why didn't you tell me? 289 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,185 I can't keep track of where everybody's professin'. 290 00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:10,134 Come on. We'll give you the grand tour. 291 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,860 Well, let's get this party started! 292 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:18,036 First stop: an introductory linguistics seminar-izzle. 293 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,868 Eh, Gabriel? 294 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,013 Is that one? 295 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,267 Yeah, that's one. 296 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,077 ♪ Brush 'em till they bleed 297 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,483 ♪ Swallow down the blood 298 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,615 ♪ Use some Listerine 299 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,950 (screams) 300 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,385 Oh, yeah, I should brush my teeth, too. 301 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,964 Well, good night. 302 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,004 My first night flying solo. 303 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,999 Who's sleeping all by himself? 304 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,371 Who's a big boy? 305 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,369 I am. 306 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,770 I'm a dangerously big boy. 307 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,613 Thanks for being there for me, Rallo. 308 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,108 Hey, you don't need that jive-ass leopard 309 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,780 when you got me. 310 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,617 What the...? 311 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,247 Junior's room? 312 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:08,422 Ah, fool kidnapped me from my own bed. 313 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,591 Oh, my God, I'm the new Larry! 314 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,420 Junior, wake up! 315 00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,755 Wake up! 316 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,990 (grunting) 317 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,295 I thought I'd have to fall a lot further 318 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,427 before I became a fat man's toy. 319 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,671 (groaning) 320 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:25,671 (slurping) 321 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:26,872 Yeah! 322 00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:30,283 Yoga! Yoga! Yoga! 323 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,637 Looks like we have a winner! 324 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,146 CROWD (chanting): Plum Alum! Plum Alum! 325 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,077 I'm fine to drive. 326 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:42,354 Thanks for the tour, Mr. and Mrs. Professor Friedman. 327 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,485 We better get started on all this homework you've given us, 328 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,862 even though we don't know who to turn it in to. 329 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,431 Eh, rip it up when you're done. 330 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:52,499 It's just busywork to keep your ding-dong in your pants. 331 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,629 Well, we better hurry home. 332 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,334 It's sundown somewhere. 333 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,396 (both laugh) 334 00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,781 To the Blapmobile! 335 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:08,081 I did it! 336 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,921 Wait. Why am I on a donkey? 337 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,847 Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you 338 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,154 this year's Dumb Alum... 339 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,756 Plum Alum. 340 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,117 No, Dumb Alum. 341 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:22,926 You dirty double crossers! 342 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,497 Roberta! 343 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,599 Help me! 344 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:28,771 (tires screeching) 345 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,338 Cleveland Brown, everybody. 346 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,437 An ass tied to an ass. 347 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,039 CROWD (chanting): Ass to ass! Ass to ass! (farting) 348 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,441 No! 349 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,513 It's never good when I hear that chant. 350 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,812 Ass to ass! Ass to ass! 351 00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,246 Ass to ass! 352 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,686 (rock music playing) 353 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,289 (crowd cheering) 354 00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:58,034 (whimpering) 355 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,434 This is QUAMMPF? 356 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,333 This is no better than QUEEMPF. 357 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,035 The all-female QUAMMPF? 358 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,767 Hey, those are the guys from Cleveland's frat house. 359 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,043 What are y'all doing here? 360 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,371 It's QUAMMPF. 361 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,976 Every college kid has to go to every event ever. 362 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,308 Where's Cleveland? 363 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,783 (all laughing) (farting) 364 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,811 Nah, we duct-taped him to a donkey, 365 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,246 then sent him off into the woods. 366 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,251 (all laughing) (farting) 367 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,253 That sounds dangerous. 368 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,424 Is he all right? 369 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,692 Calm down, pelvic bone. 370 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,090 He'll be fine. 371 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,931 Yeah, so why don't you send Malibu's Most Wanted here 372 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,958 back to high school and party with us tonight? 373 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:30,963 (groans) 374 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,034 (scoffs) I don't think so. 375 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,133 I'm going to go find Cleveland. 376 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,265 Maybe he's in your shirt. 377 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,799 How about I take a look? 378 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,374 Keep your hizzles off my tizzles! 379 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,372 Oh! 380 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,443 Stay down, Fed. 381 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,712 I was going to. 382 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:44,980 (neck cracks) 383 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,678 (breasts crack) 384 00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,086 (farts) 385 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:56,959 (grunts) 386 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:57,987 Where is he? 387 00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:00,261 North end of the woods, just off campus! 388 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,490 (groaning) 389 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,804 (British accent): You'll be sorry! 390 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,797 I'm a prince! 391 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:09,069 (farting) 392 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,709 (grunts) 393 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,108 Come on, Junior. Wake up! 394 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,979 Wake up! Wake up! 395 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,309 (snoring) 396 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,653 Breakfast. 397 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,908 Breakfast? 398 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,416 Finally. (sighs) 399 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,077 Morning, sunshine! 400 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:28,916 Another great night of sleep without Larry the Leopard. 401 00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,622 Yeah, 'cause I was Larry! 402 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,023 You grabbed me out of my bed while I slept! 403 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,956 I was feeling a little lonely. 404 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,031 Wait a minute. What are these pajamas? 405 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,600 Oh, those are Larry's. 406 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,798 Thought you'd look cute. 407 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:40,969 And I was right! 408 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:41,997 (giggles) 409 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,942 Well, that explains the tail hole. 410 00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,937 But you can't just replace Larry with me! 411 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:47,709 Rallo, I really don't need your permission. 412 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,007 What? 413 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,439 You weigh 30 pounds, and me-- I'm a behemoth. 414 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,275 I'll just throw you over my shoulder. 415 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,850 Well, I'll sneak away. 416 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:56,909 I'll come get you again. 417 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,346 I'll tell Mom! 418 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,151 DONNA (in distance): I've got my own problems! 419 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:07,131 Cleveland! Cleveland! 420 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,487 This weekend's been a disaster. 421 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:12,156 Let's never set foot on a college campus again. 422 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,965 Well, I don't know. 423 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,267 That art history lecture 424 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,668 your parents took us to was pretty cool. 425 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,670 Oh, wow. 426 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:19,971 Brain freeze. 427 00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:21,873 You actually thinking about going to college? 428 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,835 Well, maybe. 429 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,013 (whimpering) 430 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,082 Cleveland! 431 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,350 Are you okay? 432 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:32,078 Roberta, I have taken this beast as my bride. 433 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,845 Her name is Susan. 434 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,423 We are Democrats. 435 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,652 All right, we found him. 436 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,356 Let's go home. No way. 437 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,118 I got to get to my interview. 438 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,026 What?! Why?! 439 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,627 Listen, Federline. 440 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,659 I get good grades, and I haven't even told my mom this yet, 441 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,025 but I was in the 98th percentile for the PSATs. 442 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,865 You aced the prostate exam, too? 443 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,970 How comes you never told me you were smart? 444 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,712 Because I don't want to go around telling the whole world 445 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,278 I'm a genius like James Franco. 446 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,608 And I guess I do want to go to college. 447 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,453 Now, let's get to that interview. 448 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,179 You ain't never going to get there by 8:00 a.m., Ro. 449 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:09,245 This smells very bad. 450 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,455 We're gonna make it. 451 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,089 Yah! 452 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,430 (brays loudly) 453 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,136 CLEVELAND: Ah! Branches! 454 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,138 Thorns! 455 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,609 Sedimentary rocks! 456 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,507 Geology minor. 457 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,990 (brays loudly) 458 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,020 I'm Roberta Tubbs. 459 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:50,025 And I am here, on time, for my interview. 460 00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,029 Hi. 461 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,769 Mama, if you need me, I'll be staying at the Holiday Inn. 462 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,199 Smart. Get those midweek rates. 463 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,205 Wait, is this about you and Junior? 464 00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:03,137 You don't understand what it's like 465 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:06,343 to have a sweaty fat guy smother you all night long. 466 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,776 Oh, I do, but I don't get to go to the Holiday Inn. 467 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,822 We don't run from our problems in this family. 468 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:13,989 We trick people. 469 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,417 I'm listening. 470 00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:19,121 Bing-bong. I'll get it. 471 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,655 Well, what have we here? 472 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,931 A leopard. 473 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,599 If that's Larry, tell him I moved on. 474 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,098 It's not. Look. 475 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,930 The poor thing only has one eye. 476 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,196 Well, who is it? 477 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,104 There's a note. 478 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:36,936 "I had to go because I don't smell right anymore. 479 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,983 "Please take care of my one-eyed son, 480 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,248 "who likes to be held when he sleeps. 481 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,347 Love, Larry the Leopard." 482 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:46,919 I guess I could look after him, even though I have zero years 483 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,850 of stuffed leopard caretaking experience. 484 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,085 I'll just stick him in front of the TV 485 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,320 with a bowl of chocolate milk. 486 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,515 No! 487 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,686 Leopards can't metabolize chocolate. 488 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,325 And at his age, he should watch 489 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,930 no more than a half-hour of TV a day! 490 00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:02,333 Well, in that case, maybe I'll just drown him. 491 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,135 Larry the Leopard Junior, no! 492 00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,537 Oh, wow, we're both Juniors. 493 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,110 (giggles) 494 00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,808 I'll keep you safe. 495 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,440 Let me tell you some stories about your dad. 496 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:17,006 He was a great friend before he lost his stink. 497 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,946 But that won't happen to you. 498 00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:22,422 I'm gonna stink you up real good. 499 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:25,962 Any day he doesn't snap and kill us all is a victory. 500 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:32,598 I just got off the phone with the admissions officer. 501 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,129 They loved you! 502 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,533 Well, yeah. 503 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,295 I told them about my passion for higher education, 504 00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:39,974 which I discovered on the trip. 505 00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:41,443 Mm? 506 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,011 And they were impressed by my ability 507 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,450 to care for my mentally incapacitated stepfather. 508 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:48,777 Mm? 509 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,481 So, does this mean you might want to go to State? 510 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,954 State?! That Podunk school?! 511 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,822 Where I'm going is gonna cost way more than that. 512 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,091 BOTH: Really? 513 00:20:56,141 --> 00:21:00,691 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35464