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1
00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:06,887
I didn't wash my hands,
and I don't care.
2
00:00:06,888 --> 00:00:08,653
Yup.
3
00:00:08,654 --> 00:00:12,634
Cool to be some place
right when things get good, right?
4
00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:17,532
Another pitcher of
your strongest beer, please, good sir,
5
00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:20,224
and a glass thingie
to drink it out of.
6
00:00:20,225 --> 00:00:24,546
And one of whatever
this guy's having for that guy,
7
00:00:24,547 --> 00:00:27,069
and one of what
that guy's having for this guy.
8
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,818
And another round for everyone, on me!
9
00:00:29,853 --> 00:00:30,986
[Cheers and applause]
10
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,721
That's right.
That's right.
11
00:00:32,722 --> 00:00:34,823
- Thanks, buddy.
- What's the occasion?
12
00:00:34,858 --> 00:00:36,759
Oh, I'm celebrating.
13
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,963
My name's Jake Peralta,
and I just got fired from the NYPD.
14
00:00:40,964 --> 00:00:44,751
Sync & corrections by dzimu_kairu
15
00:00:44,752 --> 00:00:49,966
♪ ♪
16
00:01:03,887 --> 00:01:05,187
All right, listen up.
17
00:01:05,188 --> 00:01:06,789
What you're about to see
is highly disturbing,
18
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,190
but please, no comments.
19
00:01:08,191 --> 00:01:11,493
This man is in pain,
so above all else, be kind.
20
00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:16,865
Good morning, Boyle.
21
00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:18,500
Let's just get it out there.
22
00:01:18,501 --> 00:01:20,269
Vivian broke up with me last night.
23
00:01:20,303 --> 00:01:23,405
I'm sorry, chucklebunny.
24
00:01:23,406 --> 00:01:24,807
Charles, wait!
25
00:01:24,808 --> 00:01:26,241
Yes?
26
00:01:26,242 --> 00:01:28,844
Your food dehydrator.
27
00:01:28,845 --> 00:01:30,546
Oh, God.
28
00:01:30,547 --> 00:01:31,914
It's official.
29
00:01:31,948 --> 00:01:35,617
The wedding's off, and
this is what I'm like now.
30
00:01:35,618 --> 00:01:37,519
Life is a pit.
(Gina) Excuse me?
31
00:01:37,554 --> 00:01:39,488
I don't understand.
Did you already have
32
00:01:39,489 --> 00:01:41,790
a matrix getup at
home for some reason?
33
00:01:41,825 --> 00:01:43,892
No, Gina, I bought this with the money
34
00:01:43,893 --> 00:01:46,528
I was going to spend on
our honeymoon to Cape Canaveral.
35
00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:47,896
I'm so sorry, buddy.
36
00:01:47,897 --> 00:01:52,201
Don't be, I'm settling
into the darkness nicely.
37
00:01:52,202 --> 00:01:54,903
I definitely get you now.
38
00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:56,205
What you got there, Boyle?
39
00:01:56,206 --> 00:01:57,773
Eggs in a bag.
40
00:01:57,774 --> 00:02:00,442
Nothing brings me
joy anymore, not even food.
41
00:02:00,443 --> 00:02:02,044
Now, I only eat for sustenance.
42
00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:05,214
[Sighs]
43
00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:07,383
Smart.
Save that for later.
44
00:02:07,835 --> 00:02:08,984
[Chuckles] Peralta?
45
00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:13,355
My office, now.
46
00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:14,957
Sir?
47
00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:17,459
Ah.
Commissioner Podolski.
48
00:02:17,494 --> 00:02:19,261
It's been a while.
Maybe because you haven't
49
00:02:19,262 --> 00:02:21,997
put any of my children
in handcuffs recently.
50
00:02:21,998 --> 00:02:23,932
Yay, enemies for life.
[Chuckles]
51
00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,813
Peralta, have you been
investigating Lucas Wint?
52
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:26,969
Uh, yeah, I have.
53
00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:28,771
I think he's laundering money
for drug dealers.
54
00:02:28,772 --> 00:02:31,940
Don't be an idiot.
Lucas Wint is a civic leader.
55
00:02:31,941 --> 00:02:33,742
He runs a major charity,
56
00:02:33,777 --> 00:02:36,812
his community center is the
lifeblood of that neighborhood,
57
00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:40,649
and he officially claims
you have been harassing him.
58
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:43,385
What?
That's insane.
59
00:02:43,386 --> 00:02:44,486
I've been trying to talk to him,
60
00:02:44,487 --> 00:02:46,922
and he keeps avoiding me
like a guilty person,
61
00:02:46,923 --> 00:02:50,859
so I approached him
at his weekly basketball game.
62
00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,861
Hey there, Wint, I got
a couple questions for you.
63
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:54,063
I told you to back off.
64
00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:55,631
This is completely inappropriate.
65
00:02:55,632 --> 00:02:59,268
No, this is me scoring in your face!
66
00:02:59,269 --> 00:03:00,569
Kobe!
67
00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:03,706
Seemed like an obvious goal-tend,
but that's besides the point.
68
00:03:03,707 --> 00:03:06,542
Peralta, do you have any evidence
to support your suspicions?
69
00:03:06,543 --> 00:03:08,644
There's a lot of chatter
amongst low-level drug dealers.
70
00:03:08,678 --> 00:03:09,981
Chatter?
Sorry, I know.
71
00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:11,447
I hate that word too.
72
00:03:11,448 --> 00:03:12,448
Tittle-tattle.
73
00:03:12,449 --> 00:03:14,416
Just stay away from Wint.
74
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:15,951
That's an order.
[Sighs]
75
00:03:15,952 --> 00:03:18,887
Captain, I'm telling you
this is reliable tittle-tattle.
76
00:03:18,888 --> 00:03:19,989
You have to trust me.
77
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:21,190
Trust me.
78
00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:23,359
It's in your best
interest to back off.
79
00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:24,693
Fine.
80
00:03:24,694 --> 00:03:26,428
But just for the record,
I think you're both wrong.
81
00:03:26,429 --> 00:03:27,200
Self dismissed.
82
00:03:29,432 --> 00:03:31,600
We have to help Charles.
He's devastated.
83
00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,035
(Rosa) I hate seeing him like this.
84
00:03:33,036 --> 00:03:35,671
Breakups are cartoony, thumbs down.
85
00:03:35,672 --> 00:03:38,407
They make people feel
face-with-xs-for-the-eyes.
86
00:03:38,408 --> 00:03:40,009
What does that even mean?
87
00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:42,244
The english language
cannot fully capture
88
00:03:42,245 --> 00:03:44,146
the depth and complexity
of my thoughts,
89
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:48,417
so I'm incorporating emoji into my
speech to better express myself.
90
00:03:48,418 --> 00:03:50,019
Winky face.
Oh, lord.
91
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,453
Listen, this is simple.
92
00:03:51,454 --> 00:03:53,789
Boyle needs a little rebound nooky.
93
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,324
Eggplant emoji.
94
00:03:55,325 --> 00:03:56,825
Rosa, you wanna get on that?
95
00:03:56,826 --> 00:03:58,827
Don't make me rip your tongue off.
96
00:03:58,828 --> 00:04:01,230
I would talk to him, but
I don't think I have any advice.
97
00:04:01,231 --> 00:04:03,532
All of my breakups
have been completely mutual.
98
00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:06,535
This is the best possible
option for both of us.
99
00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:10,005
Agreed.
Take care.
100
00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:12,794
That was the end
of an eight-year relationship.
101
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,077
You know, I haven't had
that many romantic breakups,
102
00:04:15,078 --> 00:04:17,313
but neither of my children
will speak to me anymore.
103
00:04:17,314 --> 00:04:19,248
All right.
None of you are any help.
104
00:04:19,249 --> 00:04:21,617
Sarge and I will cheer up Charles.
105
00:04:21,651 --> 00:04:23,485
Oh.
106
00:04:23,486 --> 00:04:25,387
He's not even chewing them anymore.
107
00:04:25,388 --> 00:04:26,889
Ugh.
108
00:04:26,890 --> 00:04:29,124
Listen to this text
Boyle just sent me.
109
00:04:29,125 --> 00:04:33,362
"I finally know what used napkins at
a barbecue restaurant feel like."
110
00:04:33,363 --> 00:04:35,230
I hate breakups.
111
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,735
I hope I never go through one again.
112
00:04:36,766 --> 00:04:38,100
Really?
113
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:39,501
You think you'll spend the rest
of your life with Teddy?
114
00:04:39,536 --> 00:04:41,704
What?
No.
115
00:04:41,705 --> 00:04:43,372
Maybe.
I don't know.
116
00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:45,541
Just saying getting
dumped is a nightmare.
117
00:04:45,542 --> 00:04:47,242
No arguments here.
118
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,744
I remember my worst breakup.
119
00:04:48,745 --> 00:04:51,249
Eighth grade.
Jenny Gildenhorn.
120
00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:53,048
Hey, Jenny.
121
00:04:53,049 --> 00:04:55,284
Jake, I don't wanna go out anymore.
122
00:04:55,285 --> 00:04:56,452
I like Eddie Fung now.
123
00:04:56,453 --> 00:04:58,187
But it's my bar Mitzvah.
124
00:04:58,188 --> 00:05:00,675
We were gonna grind.
125
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:02,891
That day, I truly became a man.
126
00:05:02,892 --> 00:05:04,393
Wonder where Eddie Fung is now.
127
00:05:04,394 --> 00:05:06,061
867 Clinton Street, Apartment 2A.
128
00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:07,997
I know exactly where that bastard is.
129
00:05:07,998 --> 00:05:09,031
[Chuckles]
130
00:05:09,032 --> 00:05:10,132
Get down, it's Wint!
131
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,034
Wha... Wint?
Holt told you to drop that.
132
00:05:12,035 --> 00:05:13,369
I thought we were working a burglary.
133
00:05:13,403 --> 00:05:15,440
I know, I lied.
Apology? Apology accepted.
134
00:05:15,939 --> 00:05:18,073
Look, Podolski is wrong.
Wint is guilty.
135
00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:20,576
Yesterday, I saw him get into a
car with a known drug dealer.
136
00:05:20,577 --> 00:05:23,112
I didn't have time to take a
picture, but today, I came prepared.
137
00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:24,280
Did you tell Holt what you saw?
138
00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:25,781
No, I don't trust him on this.
139
00:05:25,782 --> 00:05:27,049
How can you not trust Holt?
140
00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,284
He's the executor of my will.
141
00:05:28,318 --> 00:05:29,952
Wint has crazy ties to city hall.
142
00:05:29,953 --> 00:05:32,588
I just don't think Holt would
risk giving up his command.
143
00:05:32,589 --> 00:05:34,223
Anyway.
144
00:05:34,224 --> 00:05:36,325
Oh, crap.
Where'd he go?
145
00:05:36,326 --> 00:05:37,459
[Knocks on door] [Sighs nervously]
146
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,795
Hello, Detective Peralta.
147
00:05:39,796 --> 00:05:41,330
Amy.
148
00:05:41,331 --> 00:05:43,165
Tell me who's there.
149
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:44,967
I'm blind.
150
00:05:44,968 --> 00:05:48,237
You disobeyed my direct orders
to drop this case.
151
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:49,471
I staked out Wint 'cause I got a tip
152
00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:50,973
he was meeting up with a drug dealer.
153
00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:52,308
And why didn't you tell me about this?
154
00:05:52,309 --> 00:05:54,143
Because you told me to drop the case.
155
00:05:54,144 --> 00:05:56,812
Look, let's just agree to say "I'm
sorry" on the count of three.
156
00:05:56,813 --> 00:05:59,682
One, two, three.
157
00:05:59,683 --> 00:06:01,550
See? Now, I'm just
disappointed in both of us.
158
00:06:01,551 --> 00:06:03,519
This is unacceptable,
and you've crossed the line.
159
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,721
Sir, I am Amy Santiago,
and I have something to say.
160
00:06:05,722 --> 00:06:07,590
I think you're wrong.
161
00:06:07,591 --> 00:06:09,491
I think Detective Peralta
is onto something,
162
00:06:09,526 --> 00:06:11,160
and you should let him pursue it.
163
00:06:11,161 --> 00:06:13,028
I'm Amy Santiago,
and I'm done talking.
164
00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:15,598
Good, because this is
none of your concern.
165
00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:18,500
Commissioner Podolski is bringing
you up on charges and specs.
166
00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,436
You're facing a six-month suspension,
167
00:06:20,437 --> 00:06:22,304
and you're on administrative
leave until the hearing.
168
00:06:22,305 --> 00:06:24,173
Now, get out of my office.
169
00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:26,542
Fine.
170
00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:28,110
Here's my gun and my badge.
171
00:06:28,111 --> 00:06:30,346
I don't need those.
You're not suspended yet.
172
00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,914
You're on administrative leave.
173
00:06:31,948 --> 00:06:33,749
You never let me do anything cool.
174
00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:37,917
Ah.
Good morning, Captain.
175
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:40,819
I got you your favorite breakfast,
a plain bagel and a water.
176
00:06:40,854 --> 00:06:42,922
Don't try to soften me up.
177
00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:44,256
Why'd you ask me
to meet you in this alley
178
00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:45,724
in Bensonhurst at 9:00 in the morning?
179
00:06:45,725 --> 00:06:47,426
Look, my best chance
of not getting suspended
180
00:06:47,427 --> 00:06:48,861
is proving that Wint is guilty.
181
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,930
I got a confidential
informant I need you to meet.
182
00:06:50,964 --> 00:06:53,732
You continue to work this case
against my direct orders?
183
00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:55,401
You astound me.
184
00:06:55,435 --> 00:06:56,468
Thank you, sir.
185
00:06:56,469 --> 00:06:58,404
You astound me as well.
186
00:06:58,405 --> 00:07:00,472
But I didn't find him.
187
00:07:00,473 --> 00:07:02,474
Santiago did.
188
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,843
What is going on with you?
189
00:07:04,878 --> 00:07:06,245
I don't know, sir.
190
00:07:06,246 --> 00:07:07,980
We're both off-roading it here.
191
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:10,649
My internal GPS has been
recalculating for a week.
192
00:07:10,684 --> 00:07:12,051
This is Isaac.
193
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:13,853
He used to be a pusher
for the Bay Ridge boys.
194
00:07:13,887 --> 00:07:15,788
Dude, drugs don't need pushing.
195
00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:18,090
They push themselves.
People love drugs.
196
00:07:18,124 --> 00:07:19,425
Tell him about the donations.
197
00:07:19,426 --> 00:07:21,293
All right, look,
every friday, I put cash
198
00:07:21,294 --> 00:07:23,762
into a duffel bag and bring it
to Wint community center,
199
00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:25,764
room 265, and they mark it down
200
00:07:25,765 --> 00:07:28,067
as a charitable donation
in their account book.
201
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:31,103
Ergo, laundering.
202
00:07:31,104 --> 00:07:32,304
So why should we believe you?
203
00:07:32,305 --> 00:07:33,272
I don't care who you believe.
204
00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:34,506
Just know I hate those dudes now.
205
00:07:34,507 --> 00:07:36,709
They carved up my territory so
bad, I had to quit selling drugs,
206
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,143
and I love selling drugs.
207
00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:39,278
It was my dream job.
208
00:07:39,312 --> 00:07:40,646
Sir, I filled out a warrant request
209
00:07:40,647 --> 00:07:42,781
to search the community center
for the account book.
210
00:07:42,782 --> 00:07:45,484
I need you to sign it
before I can take it to a judge.
211
00:07:45,485 --> 00:07:49,788
I know I'm asking you to stick your
neck out, but please trust me.
212
00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:51,190
Fine.
213
00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:54,260
But I'll be with you
every step of the way.
214
00:07:54,261 --> 00:07:55,928
You know, you should just
put a microchip in his neck
215
00:07:55,929 --> 00:07:56,929
like a little doggy.
216
00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:58,230
All right, Isaac, thank you.
217
00:07:58,231 --> 00:07:59,899
Yeah, you're done.
218
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:00,933
All right, guys.
219
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,668
We have Peralta's hearing at 4:00.
220
00:08:02,669 --> 00:08:03,969
Anybody seen Boyle?
221
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,571
Present.
222
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,373
He seems even worse than before.
223
00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:10,042
I lost Vivian,
and now I might lose Jake.
224
00:08:10,076 --> 00:08:11,076
I don't know what else to do.
225
00:08:11,077 --> 00:08:12,311
I've tried being supportive.
226
00:08:12,312 --> 00:08:16,415
I listened to him talk about
Vivian's lips for over two hours.
227
00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:17,917
He kept describing them as "ample."
228
00:08:17,951 --> 00:08:20,386
So ample.
229
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:22,388
Rosa.
230
00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:25,624
Have you ever been dumped?
231
00:08:25,659 --> 00:08:27,026
No.
232
00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:28,627
In all my breakups,
I'm always the dumper.
233
00:08:28,662 --> 00:08:31,597
I know you're having a hard time,
but I think I can fix this.
234
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:35,634
There's this thing that I
do whenever I... Feel.
235
00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:36,669
What?
236
00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:41,574
Burn everything.
237
00:08:41,575 --> 00:08:43,042
[Gasps]
238
00:08:43,076 --> 00:08:46,512
Okay.
This feels right.
239
00:08:46,513 --> 00:08:48,447
No, it's terrible!
Vivian, I won't let you burn!
240
00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:50,649
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ow!
241
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:52,017
Ah!
Ooh!
242
00:08:52,018 --> 00:08:54,186
Ah!
Oh, that's so hot!
243
00:08:54,187 --> 00:08:56,453
What is that?
It's coffee.
244
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,592
[Sighs] Hot coffee?
245
00:08:59,593 --> 00:09:02,061
Look at us, three rogue cops
246
00:09:02,095 --> 00:09:04,697
taking on a case the
commissioner told us to drop.
247
00:09:04,731 --> 00:09:06,165
Button up your jacket.
Sit up straight.
248
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:08,868
Judge Mindel has a reputation
for being strict and proper.
249
00:09:08,869 --> 00:09:09,868
All right, no worries.
250
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:11,303
I'll just act like you.
251
00:09:11,304 --> 00:09:13,806
Say something so I can get
the cadence of your voice down.
252
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,407
I will not.
Perfect.
253
00:09:15,408 --> 00:09:18,210
I will not.
I... Will not.
254
00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:22,520
I will... Not.
255
00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,022
Have a seat, Detective.
256
00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:25,148
I will not.
257
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:26,118
Excuse me?
258
00:09:26,119 --> 00:09:27,553
Uh, sorry.
259
00:09:27,554 --> 00:09:30,556
I meant out of respect,
I will choose to stand.
260
00:09:30,557 --> 00:09:33,459
Sit, I will not.
261
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:37,163
[Sighs] This looks like it
was filled out by a toddler.
262
00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:40,366
Now, we're going to have to go
through this point by point.
263
00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:42,735
Justice cannot be rushed.
264
00:09:42,769 --> 00:09:46,071
But could it be
gently nudged into hyper speed?
265
00:09:46,106 --> 00:09:47,740
I take it you're the toddler.
266
00:09:47,774 --> 00:09:48,841
[Gulps] [Phone rings]
267
00:09:48,842 --> 00:09:51,510
Excuse me a moment.
Mm-hmm.
268
00:09:51,511 --> 00:09:54,980
This is going terribly.
New plan.
269
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:58,050
I'm gonna charm her.
270
00:09:58,051 --> 00:09:59,351
Oh, no.
271
00:09:59,386 --> 00:10:00,819
I'm sorry.
I had to take that.
272
00:10:00,854 --> 00:10:03,289
You gotta do what you gotta do.
273
00:10:03,323 --> 00:10:06,258
Captain Raymond Holt.
274
00:10:06,259 --> 00:10:09,462
What's up?
275
00:10:13,266 --> 00:10:14,233
You wanted to see me, sarge?
276
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,335
Yeah, come on in, Boyle.
277
00:10:16,336 --> 00:10:17,336
Sorry to hear about your hand.
278
00:10:17,337 --> 00:10:18,571
Thanks.
279
00:10:18,572 --> 00:10:21,407
It makes it really hard
to manipulate my egg sack.
280
00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,209
Look.
Here's the deal.
281
00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:25,311
I did my Junior year abroad in Tokyo.
282
00:10:25,312 --> 00:10:28,581
And my girlfriend Chiaki?
She broke my heart.
283
00:10:28,615 --> 00:10:31,617
[Speaking japanese]
284
00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:36,422
[Speaking japanese]
285
00:10:40,994 --> 00:10:43,729
I stared at the paper walls for weeks
286
00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,932
until my roommates showed me
how to vent my feelings.
287
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:54,206
Take a plate and smash it.
288
00:10:54,207 --> 00:10:56,275
Oh!
[Both laugh]
289
00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:57,476
Feels good.
Yeah!
290
00:10:57,477 --> 00:10:59,445
All right. Your turn, Boyle.
Okay.
291
00:10:59,446 --> 00:11:00,846
Vent those feelings!
Okay.
292
00:11:00,847 --> 00:11:03,482
Here we go, sarge.
Yeah.
293
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:04,850
[Groaning]
294
00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:07,953
Oh, my testicles!
295
00:11:07,954 --> 00:11:09,955
We got a warrant.
But now, we need a plan.
296
00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,724
We can't just go
in there in our uniforms.
297
00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:14,627
They'll destroy the evidence before
we even walk through the door.
298
00:11:14,628 --> 00:11:16,428
Good point, Captain Holt,
299
00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:19,932
or should I say
"Captain Raymond sex vibes"?
300
00:11:19,966 --> 00:11:21,600
Who knew you had such game?
301
00:11:21,635 --> 00:11:25,070
Yes, I've found that many women
want what they can't have.
302
00:11:25,071 --> 00:11:27,072
I get it.
Ew.
303
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:29,230
(Jake) What the hell is going on?
304
00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:31,577
According to
the community center calendar,
305
00:11:31,578 --> 00:11:33,484
amateur ballroom dancing competition.
306
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,348
Ah, okay.
307
00:11:36,349 --> 00:11:38,050
I know how we're gonna blend in.
308
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:41,787
- Don't say "thrift store."
- Thrift store!
309
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,790
[Sly stone's thank you playing]
310
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:49,261
♪ ♪
311
00:11:49,262 --> 00:11:50,463
♪ I... ♪
312
00:11:50,464 --> 00:11:52,131
- ♪ I want to... ♪
- ♪ Thank you ♪
313
00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:55,501
♪ For lettin' me be myself ♪
314
00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:57,303
♪ Again ♪
315
00:12:00,307 --> 00:12:02,775
♪ Thank you for let... ♪
316
00:12:02,776 --> 00:12:04,477
Jake, the overwhelming time pressure.
317
00:12:04,478 --> 00:12:05,611
Yep.
318
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,467
All right, Isaac said the account book
319
00:12:09,468 --> 00:12:11,689
was in room 265.
It's gotta be upstairs.
320
00:12:11,704 --> 00:12:13,204
Let's head up.
321
00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:14,906
Hey.
Where you goin'?
322
00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,341
To the dance contest.
323
00:12:16,342 --> 00:12:19,177
I am nationally-recognized
fox-trotter Dave Blathis,
324
00:12:19,178 --> 00:12:24,082
and these are my proteges, Rhonda
Shawarma and Hank Frankel.
325
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,450
I don't care who you are.
326
00:12:25,451 --> 00:12:27,085
Upstairs is closed to the public.
327
00:12:27,119 --> 00:12:28,286
Fine.
328
00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:32,724
But we didn't have to endure this
crap when we danced in Barcelona.
329
00:12:32,725 --> 00:12:34,626
[Sighs] The hearing's
starting any second.
330
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:36,728
There may be another
staircase off the dance floor.
331
00:12:36,729 --> 00:12:37,896
I'll sign us up for the contest.
332
00:12:37,897 --> 00:12:39,364
Good idea.
Oh, and Amy.
333
00:12:39,365 --> 00:12:43,635
Hm? Your dress makes
you look like a mermaid.
334
00:12:43,636 --> 00:12:46,838
Okay, I'll see you in a little bit.
335
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:48,673
I know we're all
concerned about Boyle,
336
00:12:48,674 --> 00:12:51,676
but again, there is a solution.
337
00:12:51,677 --> 00:12:54,979
Forget your ex with meaningless sex.
338
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,484
It rhymes because it's true.
339
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,049
All right, everyone.
340
00:12:58,084 --> 00:13:00,018
Peralta needs us to stall.
341
00:13:00,019 --> 00:13:01,920
So just keep your answers long.
342
00:13:01,954 --> 00:13:04,789
Add stuff.
Embellish your asses off.
343
00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:05,790
Boyle, you're first.
344
00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:08,293
I don't know if I'm up for this.
345
00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:11,029
I'm so emotional.
I can barely think straight.
346
00:13:11,063 --> 00:13:12,964
Great.
Use that.
347
00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:14,165
Embrace the void.
348
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,101
Would you say Detective Peralta
349
00:13:16,102 --> 00:13:18,269
was overly interested
in the Wint case?
350
00:13:18,304 --> 00:13:21,706
I only heard Detective Peralta
talk about Lucas Wint once.
351
00:13:21,741 --> 00:13:23,007
We were in my car.
352
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:26,611
I took Vivian on our first
real date in that car.
353
00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:28,850
Vivian is my fiancee.
354
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:32,283
My ex-fiancee.
355
00:13:32,318 --> 00:13:33,785
My never-wife.
356
00:13:33,819 --> 00:13:35,887
Detective Boyle, if you could,
357
00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:37,956
please limit your comments
to the matter at hand.
358
00:13:37,957 --> 00:13:39,090
I will.
359
00:13:39,091 --> 00:13:40,792
I'd just like the record to reflect
360
00:13:40,793 --> 00:13:46,364
that "matter at hand" was one of
Vivian's favorite expressions.
361
00:13:46,365 --> 00:13:47,499
We should try to blend in.
362
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:49,033
Stretch your leg up over your head.
363
00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:51,736
What? You stretch
your leg up over your head.
364
00:13:51,771 --> 00:13:53,104
You think I wouldn't if I could?
365
00:13:53,139 --> 00:13:54,272
Ugh.
366
00:13:54,273 --> 00:13:57,208
Ooh, looks like
the Captain found a partner.
367
00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:58,543
(Jake) Good lord.
368
00:13:58,544 --> 00:14:04,538
Okay, we begin with a free-dance
period to the spicy sounds of rumba.
369
00:14:05,484 --> 00:14:09,120
All right.
The linoleum awaits, my dear.
370
00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:10,555
Oh, boy.
371
00:14:10,556 --> 00:14:12,123
I know we're undercover,
but I'm starting to get
372
00:14:12,124 --> 00:14:13,758
real nervous about this contest.
373
00:14:13,793 --> 00:14:15,326
You need to see a therapist.
374
00:14:15,361 --> 00:14:16,961
Yeah.
Let's dance this way.
375
00:14:16,996 --> 00:14:18,897
Okay.
[Groans] Ho, hoo.
376
00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:21,700
How did you manage to step on
both of my feet at the same time?
377
00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:23,835
I'm horrible at this.
When can we stop?
378
00:14:23,869 --> 00:14:25,573
I'm horrible at this...
I know, I know.
379
00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,539
Title of my sex tape.
380
00:14:27,573 --> 00:14:28,773
Huh, well done.
381
00:14:28,774 --> 00:14:30,709
Title of my sex tape.
382
00:14:30,743 --> 00:14:32,510
Oh, my God, the Captain.
383
00:14:32,545 --> 00:14:34,913
He could really win this thing.
384
00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:36,648
How did you get so amazing at dancing?
385
00:14:36,682 --> 00:14:38,083
Jake, focus.
386
00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:39,718
I found a back stairway over here.
387
00:14:39,719 --> 00:14:41,786
And spin.
388
00:14:41,821 --> 00:14:43,655
Who is he?
389
00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:45,857
As far as I can recall,
Detective Peralta
390
00:14:45,858 --> 00:14:50,495
told me that...
[Clears throat]
391
00:14:50,496 --> 00:14:53,476
That...
392
00:14:53,899 --> 00:14:54,999
He...
393
00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:57,869
No, I never heard
Jake talk about Wint.
394
00:14:57,903 --> 00:14:59,838
And the very fact
that you have him on trial
395
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,692
is cat-doing- home-alone -face.
396
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:03,069
Of...
397
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,776
Look, I've known Jake forever.
398
00:15:04,777 --> 00:15:07,645
Our friendship is little-boy-
holding-little-girl's-hand.
399
00:15:09,949 --> 00:15:13,585
God, that guard
by the door will not move.
400
00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:15,720
Uh-oh, he just made
eye contact with me.
401
00:15:15,721 --> 00:15:17,489
Play it cool.
Dance.
402
00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:18,523
Dance, dance, dance.
403
00:15:18,557 --> 00:15:19,691
You don't have to say "dance"
404
00:15:19,692 --> 00:15:21,659
every time you make a step.
405
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:22,894
Good call.
Hey.
406
00:15:22,895 --> 00:15:25,096
Do you want me to actually
show you how to do this
407
00:15:25,097 --> 00:15:27,593
so you don't hurt yourself
and possibly others?
408
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,599
Yes.
Okay.
409
00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:29,668
[Clears throat] Ready?
410
00:15:29,669 --> 00:15:31,436
Mm-hmm.
411
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,441
This is kinda fun.
412
00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:38,209
Yeah.
413
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:40,979
Maybe Teddy and I should take a class.
414
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:44,282
Yeah.
Maybe.
415
00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:45,450
Guys, we're running out of time.
416
00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:47,619
What's the plan?
That guard won't move.
417
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,853
We need a distraction.
418
00:15:48,854 --> 00:15:49,853
I'm on it.
419
00:15:49,855 --> 00:15:52,023
Dance, dance, dance, dance.
420
00:15:52,024 --> 00:15:53,758
Oh, God!
Oh!
421
00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:55,827
My ankle!
Sir, my ankle!
422
00:15:55,828 --> 00:15:57,662
Oh, I heard a pop!
I heard a pop!
423
00:15:57,663 --> 00:15:59,197
Is that bad?
Do you know if that's bad?
424
00:15:59,198 --> 00:16:02,000
Oh, God!
Oh, I live to dance!
425
00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:03,379
[Cries]
426
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,470
[Groans]
427
00:16:05,471 --> 00:16:06,470
[Sighs]
428
00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:09,407
Ah.
Voila.
429
00:16:09,442 --> 00:16:12,110
So glad no one heard me say that.
430
00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:14,079
Gotcha.
431
00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:15,880
Aw, this is incredible.
432
00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,349
The account books have everything.
433
00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:19,084
Dates, names, dollar amounts.
434
00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:21,286
I can't wait to show this to Podolski.
435
00:16:21,287 --> 00:16:24,621
I should probably slip in a
Miley-Cyrus-told-you-so face real quick.
436
00:16:24,924 --> 00:16:26,224
It's hard to do on the move.
437
00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:27,926
Peralta, wait.
438
00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:30,328
Santiago, give us a minute.
439
00:16:30,329 --> 00:16:31,329
Sir?
440
00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:32,397
I need you to do something.
441
00:16:32,398 --> 00:16:34,566
And it's gonna sound
crazy, but it's important,
442
00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:37,736
and I need you to trust me.
443
00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,671
So Detective Peralta...
444
00:16:39,705 --> 00:16:42,919
Do you have any evidence you'd
like to present on your behalf?
445
00:16:43,476 --> 00:16:45,243
No.
446
00:16:45,244 --> 00:16:47,278
I have nothing.
447
00:16:49,561 --> 00:16:51,562
Jake.
What happened?
448
00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:53,197
Did Holt ask you to get suspended?
449
00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:54,965
No, he told me to get fired.
450
00:16:54,966 --> 00:16:56,099
Why?
I don't know.
451
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,301
I'm kind of freaking out.
452
00:16:57,302 --> 00:17:00,037
He said to do it, and the next
thing I knew, I was just yelling.
453
00:17:00,038 --> 00:17:03,140
And your mother!
All of your mothers.
454
00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:04,641
And your grandmothers.
455
00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:07,244
And your grandmothers' little dogs.
456
00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:08,645
Are you done?
No, I'm not done!
457
00:17:08,646 --> 00:17:11,155
Aw, you're done!
You can't handle the me!
458
00:17:11,182 --> 00:17:12,549
Oh, my God.
(Holt) Peralta!
459
00:17:12,584 --> 00:17:14,351
Hey.
What's goin' on?
460
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:16,320
This is special agent Clarke
with the FBI.
461
00:17:16,321 --> 00:17:18,989
FBI?
We couldn't let you expose Lucas Wint.
462
00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:22,192
It would've compromised a much larger
ongoing federal investigation.
463
00:17:22,227 --> 00:17:25,162
We believe that Wint has ties
to the Ianucci crime family.
464
00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:26,830
That's one of the best crime families.
465
00:17:26,831 --> 00:17:28,499
We needed you to get fired for real
466
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,135
because the Ianuccis
have moles inside the NYPD,
467
00:17:31,169 --> 00:17:32,636
and we need them to trust you.
468
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,204
Detective, we'd
like you to go undercover
469
00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:35,639
and help us with the investigation.
470
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:36,907
Okay, the answer is "yes."
471
00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:39,409
The details are:
My name is Duncan Buck.
472
00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:42,546
I was raised on a oil rig
by 90 men and 1 prostitute.
473
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,814
We'd like you to be yourself.
474
00:17:43,815 --> 00:17:46,150
Even better.
This could be very dangerous.
475
00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:48,786
- So please, take some time, and...
- No need. I'm in.
476
00:17:48,787 --> 00:17:50,587
Eyes closed, head first, can't lose.
477
00:17:50,622 --> 00:17:52,189
I don't think that's the expression.
478
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:55,282
Can you just let me have this?
479
00:17:55,293 --> 00:17:57,995
What I'm about to tell you
cannot leave this room.
480
00:17:57,996 --> 00:17:59,163
Detective Peralta will be going
481
00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:01,064
in an undercover assignment
with the FBI.
482
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,699
His cover story is that he was fired.
483
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,535
Oh, my God.
My heart just threw up.
484
00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:05,936
Look, they're saying
this assignment will last
485
00:18:05,937 --> 00:18:07,938
about six months, so while I'm gone,
486
00:18:07,939 --> 00:18:10,073
Boyle, I want you to have my desk.
487
00:18:10,108 --> 00:18:11,575
I'll sit at it always.
488
00:18:11,609 --> 00:18:13,551
Rosa, you can have my locker.
489
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,411
Sweet.
490
00:18:14,412 --> 00:18:16,747
Amy, you can have
all of my open cases.
491
00:18:16,748 --> 00:18:17,848
(Holt) Okay, that's enough.
492
00:18:17,849 --> 00:18:20,517
Peralta doesn't have the
authority to do any of this.
493
00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:24,188
You will all sit at your own desk
and work the cases I assign you.
494
00:18:24,189 --> 00:18:27,825
But you will be missed.
495
00:18:27,826 --> 00:18:28,859
Thank you, Captain.
496
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:32,896
Thank you for trusting me.
497
00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:34,498
Okay, now call us all names
498
00:18:34,499 --> 00:18:36,433
and storm out of here
for the benefit of the bullpen.
499
00:18:36,468 --> 00:18:38,202
[Sighs] This is the best day ever.
500
00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:40,170
[Clears throat]
501
00:18:40,171 --> 00:18:41,805
I'll miss you guys.
502
00:18:41,806 --> 00:18:43,540
And your mother!
503
00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:45,309
And your mother.
504
00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:47,578
You're all a bunch of pigs!
505
00:18:47,579 --> 00:18:50,848
I smell bacon!
506
00:18:50,849 --> 00:18:52,983
And guess what else, "Captain"?
507
00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:57,821
You can take this tie and shove
it straight into your hellhole!
508
00:18:57,822 --> 00:19:00,924
This whole place reeks of bacon.
509
00:19:00,925 --> 00:19:02,192
And guess what?
510
00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:06,964
I'm going kosher 'cause
Jake-y don't dig on swine!
511
00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:07,978
Whoo!
512
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:10,300
All right, everyone.
I wanna make a toast.
513
00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:12,369
To you guys.
514
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:15,272
You will never be Jake or Vivian,
but at least you're here.
515
00:19:15,273 --> 00:19:18,375
Ugh, I'm gonna go over by the
bar where I can hear you worse.
516
00:19:18,376 --> 00:19:20,711
Oh, I get it.
I'd abandon me too.
517
00:19:20,712 --> 00:19:22,546
That's it.
Boyle, no more eggs.
518
00:19:22,547 --> 00:19:24,248
You are drinking your troubles away.
519
00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:25,449
Start with this.
520
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:26,917
I'm gonna get some
bottles from the bar.
521
00:19:26,951 --> 00:19:29,820
Make way! Large man
helping his little friend.
522
00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:32,589
Comin' through!
523
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:35,125
You're so lucky you've never
been through a painful breakup.
524
00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:36,226
The only reason
they haven't been painful
525
00:19:36,227 --> 00:19:39,263
is 'cause the guys were all losers.
526
00:19:39,264 --> 00:19:40,597
I've never dated anyone good.
527
00:19:40,632 --> 00:19:42,056
Hmm.
528
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,202
Like you.
529
00:19:50,308 --> 00:19:51,809
Amy?
530
00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,143
Hey, thought I missed you.
531
00:19:53,144 --> 00:19:55,512
Hey, Jake.
Amazing assignment.
532
00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:58,215
I have to admit I'm a little jealous.
533
00:19:58,249 --> 00:19:59,717
Really?
Mm-hmm.
534
00:19:59,718 --> 00:20:01,085
Well, if you want,
I could help you get fired.
535
00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:02,986
I'm really good at it.
[Laughs]
536
00:20:03,021 --> 00:20:04,288
Yeah.
537
00:20:04,289 --> 00:20:06,223
This is real.
This is happening.
538
00:20:06,257 --> 00:20:08,225
Look...
[Chuckles]
539
00:20:08,226 --> 00:20:09,760
I don't wanna be a jerk.
540
00:20:09,761 --> 00:20:13,931
I know you're dating Teddy,
and it's going really well.
541
00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:16,465
It's just...
What's going on?
542
00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:17,801
[Sighs]
543
00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:19,503
I don't know what's gonna
happen on this assignment.
544
00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:22,306
And if something bad goes down,
I think I'd be pissed at myself
545
00:20:22,307 --> 00:20:24,241
if I didn't say this.
546
00:20:24,242 --> 00:20:25,119
[Sighs]
547
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:31,408
I kinda wish something could happen
between us, romantic-styles.
548
00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:33,784
And I know it can't
'cause you're with Teddy,
549
00:20:33,785 --> 00:20:38,122
and I'm going undercover,
and that's just how it is.
550
00:20:38,123 --> 00:20:42,893
But...
[Police radio chatter]
551
00:20:42,894 --> 00:20:46,864
Anyway, we're not supposed to
have any contact, so I should go.
552
00:20:46,865 --> 00:20:48,465
America needs me.
[Chuckles]
553
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,501
Bye.
554
00:20:53,405 --> 00:20:55,672
And another round for everyone on me!
555
00:20:55,673 --> 00:20:56,974
Thanks, buddy.
556
00:20:56,975 --> 00:20:57,975
What's the occasion?
557
00:20:57,976 --> 00:20:59,843
Oh, I'm celebrating.
558
00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:05,983
My name's Jake Peralta,
and I just got fired from the NYPD.
559
00:21:05,984 --> 00:21:09,953
I'm Leo...
Ianucci.
560
00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:13,157
Nice to meet you.
561
00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:27,638
[Both scream]
562
00:21:27,639 --> 00:21:31,742
Sync & corrections by dzimu_kairu
40386
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