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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,619 Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, 2 00:00:56,727 --> 00:00:59,776 take him and cut him out to little stars - 3 00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,747 and he'll make the face of heaven so fine. 4 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:06,070 And all the world will be in love with the night - 5 00:01:06,176 --> 00:01:08,311 (music) Mystical: Shake Ya Ass 6 00:01:08,824 --> 00:01:12,948 and... make the face of heaven so fine that all... 7 00:01:13,054 --> 00:01:15,424 the world will be in love.... 8 00:01:19,854 --> 00:01:21,451 ... all the world will be in love with the night... 9 00:01:29,779 --> 00:01:33,358 Excuse me! Excuse me! 10 00:01:35,324 --> 00:01:40,158 - Woody, will you turn that down? - Sorry, I can't hear you! 11 00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:42,363 Turn the noise down! 12 00:01:44,046 --> 00:01:45,453 Sorry, did you say something? 13 00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:48,587 I'm trying to study but it's impossible with that racket going on! 14 00:01:49,606 --> 00:01:50,447 - It's not racket, that's Mystical! 15 00:01:50,552 --> 00:01:52,726 Whatever it is, will you please switch it off? 16 00:01:53,345 --> 00:01:56,270 - What's it worth? - The gratitude of a music lover? 17 00:01:58,108 --> 00:01:58,922 Alright, I turn it off! 18 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:04,133 If you flash me! Show me what girls are all about! 19 00:02:05,739 --> 00:02:07,208 You are a pig! 20 00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:12,301 - Anyway, I've seen them before! - What! You have not! 21 00:02:19,804 --> 00:02:20,823 Have now! 22 00:02:28,057 --> 00:02:29,182 Good morning, Mr. Fluffy. 23 00:02:31,556 --> 00:02:34,087 - Woody, are you up yet? - Oh, yeah! 24 00:02:42,546 --> 00:02:45,905 - Good morning, Daddy! - I have some mail for you, princess. 25 00:02:46,513 --> 00:02:48,296 It's from Yale! 26 00:02:53,766 --> 00:02:54,702 I have an interview next week! 27 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:56,903 I applied for early action for you, honey! 28 00:02:57,817 --> 00:02:59,298 My precious little girl are going to Yale! 29 00:02:59,705 --> 00:03:01,395 I have to get through the interview first, mother! 30 00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:05,318 - You won't let us down, never have. - Never has. 31 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,481 - Isn't it exciting, Ted? - It's very exciting, Katherine. 32 00:03:08,698 --> 00:03:11,435 - Are you excited? - I am. 33 00:03:12,368 --> 00:03:16,760 I'm so excited I could yell it from the roof tops! 34 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,982 Thank you, mother! 35 00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:24,383 (music) Bachman Turner Overdrive: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet 36 00:03:24,407 --> 00:03:26,096 Everything OK back there? 37 00:03:27,203 --> 00:03:28,754 No problem, honey. 38 00:03:28,859 --> 00:03:31,004 Just searing off a couple of finger prints. 39 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,998 Carry on, my good woman. 40 00:03:35,797 --> 00:03:39,478 - Big game's coming up soon, son? - Yep! 41 00:03:40,593 --> 00:03:43,232 Coach says all the big college scouts gonna be at the game. 42 00:03:43,838 --> 00:03:44,692 Yeah, I know. 43 00:03:45,799 --> 00:03:50,532 Speciality of the House! I call it 'Eggs What the Heck' 44 00:03:51,059 --> 00:03:53,225 So much of fine cuisine is down to presentation, don't you think, son? 45 00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:56,311 Oh yeah, absolutely! 46 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,929 You'll be the first member of my family to go to college. 47 00:04:01,652 --> 00:04:05,402 He'll be the first member of your family to go to freaking school! 48 00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,532 That's true. 49 00:04:09,595 --> 00:04:12,607 But son, if thing's don't work out, there'll always be a job for you - 50 00:04:12,829 --> 00:04:15,511 with Stan the Man at Spatula World. 51 00:04:23,714 --> 00:04:25,384 - To me, the greatest living American should... 52 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,869 have individual accomplishments - 53 00:04:27,294 --> 00:04:30,516 but also have a lasting influence on America and with the world. 54 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:35,803 And that is why after careful consideration my candidate... 55 00:04:44,749 --> 00:04:47,922 - Yo, what's up boy? - Hi, Horse! 56 00:04:50,803 --> 00:04:53,552 - Nice grab, Horse! How's it hanging? - To the floor, my friend! 57 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,453 What say we shift this baby into warp drive, huh? 58 00:04:57,568 --> 00:04:58,643 I want you to feel the wind blowing through... 59 00:04:58,748 --> 00:05:01,315 the hair of your fine muscular ass! 60 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,969 Hit it please! 61 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,908 (music) Eminem: Without Me 62 00:05:33,198 --> 00:05:34,982 Well, looky here! 63 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:39,344 Is that not a pencil necked virgin girl I see before me? 64 00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:40,425 I do believe it is. 65 00:05:40,897 --> 00:05:43,173 She's standing dangerously close to a vast pool of water. 66 00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,064 For a smart girl, that ain't so smart. 67 00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,283 Thank you! 68 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,276 OK, just keep walking. 69 00:06:39,756 --> 00:06:41,025 No one will notice. 70 00:06:42,553 --> 00:06:44,761 Who wants cotton candy? 71 00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,836 Hey, Nell, I love what you've done with your hair! 72 00:06:52,749 --> 00:06:54,480 Thanks, Glixen. 73 00:07:08,086 --> 00:07:09,362 Three, two one... 74 00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:11,709 Hey, watch it! 75 00:07:16,059 --> 00:07:17,466 - Harry! - What's up baby! 76 00:07:17,666 --> 00:07:19,414 Wow wow, people around! 77 00:07:26,437 --> 00:07:27,439 Nice look! 78 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,635 Special needs boy and his muse, the lovely Clamydia. 79 00:07:31,855 --> 00:07:33,639 My name's Breanna, you geek! 80 00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:37,031 By the way, sorry about this morning. 81 00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:38,848 That puddle just... showed up in front of us! 82 00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:42,512 Oh, that's OK, please don't apologize it, I understand. 83 00:07:43,845 --> 00:07:46,785 While archetypal outsiders such as myself... 84 00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:50,581 rarely fit comfortably into high school environments - 85 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,208 this is as good as your life will get. 86 00:07:54,426 --> 00:07:57,441 The big football star and his vacuous cheerleader girlfriend... 87 00:07:57,548 --> 00:07:58,296 Head cheerleader. 88 00:08:00,184 --> 00:08:02,991 Because, let's face it. The old grey matter... 89 00:08:03,097 --> 00:08:05,427 ain't exactly top level, is it Woodster? 90 00:08:05,646 --> 00:08:09,311 So you end up with a job with your dad - 91 00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:12,040 and probably marry Breanna here. 92 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:16,397 But soon you start drinking to numb this aching feeling you have inside. 93 00:08:16,611 --> 00:08:18,949 Fast forward a few years and you're a drunk... 94 00:08:19,058 --> 00:08:21,549 fat guy at a bar talking about the good old days. 95 00:08:21,773 --> 00:08:25,695 While your little wife whose looks have gone to the dodo - 96 00:08:25,914 --> 00:08:29,028 is prepping up her self esteem with squalid... 97 00:08:29,136 --> 00:08:32,732 sexual encounters with your friends behind your back. 98 00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:36,467 - What friends? - I'm guessing most of them. 99 00:08:38,053 --> 00:08:39,545 Have a good day. 100 00:08:40,826 --> 00:08:44,177 Class, please turn to page 488. Paragraph... 101 00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:46,152 demarked 'Early history' - 102 00:08:46,371 --> 00:08:50,076 which reads: 'Combined with the study of mankind - 103 00:08:50,299 --> 00:08:53,828 in all its aspects, especially human culture - 104 00:08:54,052 --> 00:08:58,121 we are therefore examining that society through... 105 00:08:58,227 --> 00:09:00,347 the exploration of classical structure.' 106 00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:05,267 Now, do not forget to make full use of your abstract database. 107 00:09:05,492 --> 00:09:08,247 And class, please make sure the references of... 108 00:09:08,354 --> 00:09:10,602 the source material include the internet. 109 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,004 That's OK for now but - 110 00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:24,404 you might want to omit that page from your reference list. 111 00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:28,327 Now, Mr. Zbornak will be taking your field trip this week. 112 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,085 I tried on the most amazing dress for the dance. 113 00:09:35,311 --> 00:09:39,249 Think Beyonce's wow-factor meets Gwen Stefani's outfit of individuality - 114 00:09:39,472 --> 00:09:42,069 with just a sprinkling of designer slut Aguilera. 115 00:09:42,288 --> 00:09:44,622 The whole thing's very Madonna... 116 00:09:44,729 --> 00:09:45,869 before she got old naturally. 117 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,749 Sounds hot! 118 00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:50,718 Now, I think Armani would be good for you. 119 00:09:50,825 --> 00:09:52,267 Stylish yet understated - 120 00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:55,386 so you look good but you don't distract attention from me. 121 00:09:56,947 --> 00:09:58,043 Mr Deanne! If it's not too much trouble? 122 00:09:58,148 --> 00:09:59,018 OK, just a minute! 123 00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,779 Take a look at this odd looking fella! 124 00:10:10,557 --> 00:10:13,238 Texcatlipoca - 125 00:10:13,457 --> 00:10:16,620 the ancient Aztek god of sorcery. Associated... 126 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:18,446 with the notion of destiny. 127 00:10:18,663 --> 00:10:21,258 Tex here has an interesting resume: 128 00:10:21,479 --> 00:10:25,010 He was the god of night, lord of the smoking mirror. 129 00:10:25,447 --> 00:10:27,874 A shape shifter - 130 00:10:28,475 --> 00:10:30,856 a powerful SOB. 131 00:10:31,293 --> 00:10:35,431 Mr Deanne, do you think I might have your attention? 132 00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:39,729 Or does Mr. Horson have something particularly interesting to say? 133 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,024 I'm betting on unlikely. 134 00:10:44,391 --> 00:10:46,804 OK, time is short, people. I want you to... 135 00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:49,207 pair off and take in the rest yourselves. 136 00:10:49,424 --> 00:10:51,803 Remember: research, 137 00:10:52,028 --> 00:10:53,471 analyze and... 138 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:54,830 ...describe! 139 00:10:55,056 --> 00:10:56,633 Very nice. 140 00:10:57,688 --> 00:11:03,590 Mr Horson, you go with Mr Glixen. Mr Deanne, you go with Miss Bedworth. 141 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,107 Let's get your learn on. 142 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,586 So, checked out any good porno sites lately? 143 00:11:13,811 --> 00:11:16,012 I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. Let's... 144 00:11:16,119 --> 00:11:18,033 hope I don't breathe in any retard germs. 145 00:11:18,248 --> 00:11:21,743 Let's hope I don't get any pencil neck virgin disease. 146 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:22,557 Get stuffed. 147 00:11:23,112 --> 00:11:23,854 I hate you! 148 00:11:23,961 --> 00:11:27,233 It's because you secretly want to have sex with me! 149 00:11:28,018 --> 00:11:30,313 When I do decide to surrender the flower of my womanhood - 150 00:11:30,537 --> 00:11:32,878 I've always imagined it to be with someone of my own species! 151 00:11:33,096 --> 00:11:36,079 There's is nobody else in your species, except maybe Glixen. 152 00:11:36,293 --> 00:11:37,895 You're such a moron. You really think... 153 00:11:38,002 --> 00:11:39,679 the world evolves around rap music, football 154 00:11:39,787 --> 00:11:41,266 and hanging out with the right crowd? 155 00:11:41,371 --> 00:11:43,698 You know, you make me sick, you think you are so different to everyone else. 156 00:11:43,913 --> 00:11:45,576 Different from. 157 00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:49,115 You said 'Different to'. The correct phraseology is 'Different from'. 158 00:11:49,331 --> 00:11:51,710 Thanks for that information. You're no different... 159 00:11:51,816 --> 00:11:54,101 from any other geek with books instead of friends - 160 00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:56,703 and you don't have to open your big fat mouth to correct me. 161 00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:58,928 - Neanderthal! - Spaz. 162 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,212 I should pity you but I can't. I hate you too much. 163 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,458 I rather cross my legs for the rest of my life... 164 00:12:04,563 --> 00:12:06,266 for everybody than to be anything like you! 165 00:12:07,807 --> 00:12:10,488 - Dito! - 'Dito'? 166 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:12,707 Double dito! 167 00:12:12,926 --> 00:12:15,777 Double double dito times a thousand trillions! 168 00:12:40,085 --> 00:12:46,157 '... and forever more shall find her destiny to live alone no more.' 169 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,700 Good night, Mr. Fluffy. 170 00:13:41,618 --> 00:13:43,533 Oh God, my head... 171 00:13:43,604 --> 00:13:46,984 I must be dreaming. Time to wake up. 172 00:13:47,889 --> 00:13:50,296 What was that? 173 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,722 Tits! 174 00:13:53,942 --> 00:13:56,096 I have tits. Two tits! 175 00:13:56,568 --> 00:14:00,876 That's the regular number of tits but not for a guy! What's going on here? 176 00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:06,068 Oh my god, my dick's gone! I have a bush? 177 00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:08,412 Two tits and a bush but no dick - 178 00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:10,560 Oh god, that must be a dream. 179 00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:13,283 A very very bad 'I-lost-my-dick-dream'. 180 00:14:14,258 --> 00:14:19,313 Just stay calm! What the hell is happening to me? 181 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:27,291 What is this? This isn't my room! 182 00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:33,276 This is just a dream, a big, bad dream! 183 00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:50,706 We need to talk! Talk? She want's to talk? 184 00:14:51,865 --> 00:14:52,965 Let's talk about why I'm going through a drawer... 185 00:14:53,071 --> 00:14:56,344 full of underwear with the days of the freakin' week on them! 186 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,281 Oh God! 187 00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:13,284 OK, now my bush knows it's Wednesday! Oh - gross! 188 00:15:19,094 --> 00:15:20,558 It's tough enough getting these damn things off! 189 00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:27,021 How the hell does anyone know hot to get these things on? 190 00:15:31,254 --> 00:15:35,003 Ladies, looks like you and me is going au natural. 191 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,288 Go away! 192 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,068 Alright, coast is clear. 193 00:15:50,026 --> 00:15:53,859 Get off. 194 00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,335 Good morning! 195 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:13,770 - Nell, is everything OK? - I didn't see you there! 196 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,741 - Your oatmeal is on the table. - I'm in a hurry, gotta go. 197 00:16:16,962 --> 00:16:21,355 Nonsense, now you sit down, it's the most important meal of the day. 198 00:16:21,571 --> 00:16:26,048 And oatmeal is wonderful for promoting healthy and regular bowel movements. 199 00:16:26,263 --> 00:16:29,198 That's cool if I want to take a dump the size of my head. 200 00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:30,566 Excuse me? 201 00:16:32,193 --> 00:16:33,977 Oatmeal's good, mummy. 202 00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:40,235 (music) Deep Purple: Hush 203 00:16:41,024 --> 00:16:43,148 Is this meat? 204 00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:48,183 - You have oatmeal? - Are you shitting me? 205 00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:53,737 - Porkmeat's good. - Eat up, son 206 00:17:07,733 --> 00:17:10,027 Jesus, I'm gonna puke. 207 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,475 Golly, you must have been hungry. 208 00:17:24,701 --> 00:17:28,616 You need a second helping. You wait there, young lady! 209 00:17:38,117 --> 00:17:40,068 How's it going, pretty boy? 210 00:17:42,255 --> 00:17:43,528 Let's go! 211 00:17:44,346 --> 00:17:47,706 It will turn you into a big strong girl! 212 00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,916 Excuse me. 213 00:17:54,797 --> 00:17:56,376 See you later. 214 00:17:56,589 --> 00:18:00,169 Nell, aren't you forgetting something? 215 00:18:03,246 --> 00:18:06,862 Holy crap, look at the size of that thing! 216 00:18:07,214 --> 00:18:08,912 What thing? 217 00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:11,512 Gotta go mom, see you later. 218 00:18:14,509 --> 00:18:19,157 Hop in man, we got places to go, people to see, women to impregnate. 219 00:18:34,008 --> 00:18:35,197 You OK? 220 00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:36,883 Yeah, I'm fine! 221 00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:39,570 Really? 222 00:18:58,607 --> 00:19:01,337 The bitch stole my ride! 223 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:12,634 - We're going a little fast? - You bet your sweet ass we are! 224 00:19:13,455 --> 00:19:15,457 I am going to die! 225 00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:21,612 Oh god, I'm getting on the bus. I haven't... 226 00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:23,307 been on the bus since 8th grade! 227 00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,685 Come on! 228 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,766 Screw you assholes! 229 00:19:45,502 --> 00:19:48,184 That's no way for a young lady to talk! 230 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:52,407 Sorry, I'm a bitch when I'm on the rag, you know what I'm saying? 231 00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:02,694 - Sorry! - Yeah, you too. 232 00:20:05,127 --> 00:20:10,453 And this dress is just amazing 233 00:20:12,549 --> 00:20:14,043 You! 234 00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:16,706 What the hell have you done to me, witch lady? 235 00:20:16,813 --> 00:20:18,433 Get your hands off me, you bully! 236 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,389 God, you think I'm responsible for this? 237 00:20:20,496 --> 00:20:23,130 I certainly am not. And you're the one who knows everything. 238 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,070 That does not include this! 239 00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:31,361 This is impossible. This can not happen! 240 00:20:34,395 --> 00:20:36,437 You better figure out how to get my damn body back. 241 00:20:36,544 --> 00:20:38,229 Trust me, there's nothing I would like more. 242 00:20:38,448 --> 00:20:41,386 You think I relish waking up another day with the Simpsons? 243 00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:43,051 Leave my parents out of this. 244 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:46,340 And what is up with your mother? She never heard of volume control? 245 00:20:46,556 --> 00:20:49,831 Yak farmers in Tibet are praying for her to keep the volume down. 246 00:20:50,054 --> 00:20:51,922 And her language, my goodness! 247 00:20:52,145 --> 00:20:55,468 My mother does not have a mole on her face the size of the White House. 248 00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,904 So she's got a problem with moles. Besides, 249 00:20:58,011 --> 00:20:59,774 it's not a mole, it's a beauty spot! 250 00:20:59,994 --> 00:21:02,744 I can spot that beauty from Wisconsin! 251 00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:05,688 Insensitive pig! 252 00:21:06,248 --> 00:21:09,422 I don't want to be a boy, OK? Especially I don't want to be you! 253 00:21:09,966 --> 00:21:13,545 No, no, no, don't cry, not here. 254 00:21:14,104 --> 00:21:19,177 Maybe it's just one of those 24 hour things. Like a head cold. 255 00:21:19,948 --> 00:21:24,038 Tomorrow we could be back to normal. 256 00:21:24,258 --> 00:21:27,364 Just try not to attract any unnecessary attention. 257 00:21:47,016 --> 00:21:49,747 Gross, I have to touch it? Ewww! 258 00:21:53,076 --> 00:21:56,299 I will never eat finger food from a buffet again for as long as I live. 259 00:22:04,297 --> 00:22:08,859 Your homework was to prepare a speech on the greatest living American. 260 00:22:11,294 --> 00:22:13,592 I'm sorry I missed it but I was excused... 261 00:22:13,698 --> 00:22:15,941 from homework due to cheerleading practice. 262 00:22:16,328 --> 00:22:17,638 I see. And Nell? 263 00:22:21,472 --> 00:22:22,490 What? 264 00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:26,204 Your speech please. On the greatest living American? 265 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:40,371 I think the greatest living American is... 266 00:22:44,042 --> 00:22:45,450 ...J-Lo. 267 00:22:45,549 --> 00:22:48,410 - J-Lo? - You know, Jennifer Lopez? 268 00:22:48,632 --> 00:22:54,856 Singer, movie star. She had a thing with that dude from 'Pearl Harbor'. 269 00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:57,501 I know who J-Lo is now. 270 00:22:57,719 --> 00:23:00,895 I am just very interested to hear what you... 271 00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:04,539 perceive qualifies her for such a unique accolade. 272 00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:08,237 The thing about J-Lo is that... 273 00:23:08,452 --> 00:23:10,368 ...she's from the streets.. 274 00:23:11,309 --> 00:23:17,213 And now she's like this big movie star and... she's still really cool. 275 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,347 She used to have a little, now she's got a lot. 276 00:23:21,569 --> 00:23:26,084 But she's still J-Lo from the block. And I think that's pretty damn great. 277 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:31,571 And she's American. And she's alive. 278 00:23:33,241 --> 00:23:34,647 I see. 279 00:23:39,683 --> 00:23:41,553 J-Lo? 280 00:23:41,773 --> 00:23:44,014 Pretty good, huh? It just flew right into my head. 281 00:23:44,405 --> 00:23:48,613 At least there's plenty of space for it to land. You made a complete fool out of me in there. 282 00:23:48,836 --> 00:23:52,757 What is your problem? I happen to like J-Lo! She's a hot booty! 283 00:23:52,977 --> 00:23:56,264 You do not bestow an honor such as 'Greatest 284 00:23:56,371 --> 00:23:57,913 Living American' solely on the fact of a hot booty! 285 00:23:58,138 --> 00:24:02,482 I didn't! She also happen to have a terrific set of funbags! 286 00:24:03,557 --> 00:24:06,324 Woody Deanne, you're an idiot and a Philistine. 287 00:24:06,543 --> 00:24:10,328 You know what, I don't appreciate you calling me an idiot. 288 00:24:10,553 --> 00:24:12,314 And I don't know what that other thing is... 289 00:24:12,419 --> 00:24:15,219 but I sure as hell am not one of them either. 290 00:24:27,401 --> 00:24:28,948 Hey Woody! 291 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,545 What a lovely sight. Swill time at Getty Central. 292 00:24:36,237 --> 00:24:39,854 Dear God, now I have to eat with these creatures? 293 00:24:43,790 --> 00:24:45,957 My parents are going out tonight, maybe you... 294 00:24:46,063 --> 00:24:48,138 wanna come over to discuss what you wanna wear 295 00:24:48,244 --> 00:24:49,401 for the homecoming dance? 296 00:24:49,506 --> 00:24:51,848 I have things to do. 297 00:24:52,067 --> 00:24:56,375 What I meant was: we'd be alone. 298 00:24:57,144 --> 00:24:59,741 So maybe I might do that thing when I... 299 00:25:06,018 --> 00:25:10,024 - You filthy little slut! - You do that? 300 00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:15,696 Last week he begged me to do that! 301 00:25:17,538 --> 00:25:21,882 - So what is it, what do you do? - Get lost, you little spastic. 302 00:25:23,876 --> 00:25:27,795 I can not believe Woody turned down the chance to have sex with me tonight! 303 00:25:28,057 --> 00:25:29,570 Am I in like bizarro world? 304 00:25:29,830 --> 00:25:32,643 If I had Richard Wainwright sniffing around me, 305 00:25:32,749 --> 00:25:34,769 I wouldn't be wasting my time on Woody. 306 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,152 It's not that simple Tiffany. 307 00:25:37,472 --> 00:25:40,238 Today football captain, tomorrow GQ Man of the Year. 308 00:25:40,499 --> 00:25:43,737 You need to plan these things! 309 00:25:43,953 --> 00:25:45,743 Personally I'd be relived if Horse didn't want to have sex. 310 00:25:46,551 --> 00:25:47,686 Sometimes I think it's 311 00:25:47,793 --> 00:25:49,095 the only reason he's with me. 312 00:25:49,202 --> 00:25:53,425 That is so not true Chanel. You have many fine qualities. 313 00:25:53,533 --> 00:25:54,783 Really? Like what? 314 00:25:56,668 --> 00:25:57,876 You have excellent taste in earrings. 315 00:25:59,867 --> 00:26:02,719 And your hair looks really good. 316 00:26:05,669 --> 00:26:08,351 And you're friends with me. Case closed. 317 00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:20,980 - Woodster! Come on in, my man. - How are you? 318 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:21,882 Cool as frozen shit, homie. 319 00:26:22,529 --> 00:26:25,160 Yo, we have extra practice tonight, alright, don't forget! 320 00:26:27,478 --> 00:26:29,819 I'm in the mood to kick some serious ass! 321 00:26:30,038 --> 00:26:31,530 Oh yeah, me too! 322 00:26:32,744 --> 00:26:35,731 ...only I have a prior engagement that... 323 00:26:35,837 --> 00:26:38,969 conflicts with the whole ass kicking thing. 324 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,606 Wait, we're a week away from the game against Lamont. 325 00:26:41,830 --> 00:26:45,496 Do you know what the coach will do to your nuts if you don't show up tonight? 326 00:26:45,712 --> 00:26:49,803 No, I'll tell you. He will grind them into dust. 327 00:26:50,748 --> 00:26:51,973 Nut dust. 328 00:26:52,198 --> 00:26:54,458 And the only kids you'd be able to have is the itsy-bitsy patter ones. 329 00:26:56,527 --> 00:27:01,860 One can express themselves without resorting to profanity constantly. 330 00:27:02,068 --> 00:27:04,189 You are right. 331 00:27:05,068 --> 00:27:06,858 Pardon. 332 00:27:07,068 --> 00:27:13,147 To show that I am sorry I'd like to offer you at a little lunch. 333 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,270 Or you can get suck on my balls. 334 00:27:17,484 --> 00:27:21,857 They are tasty, too, i have not showered for days. 335 00:28:02,205 --> 00:28:03,782 Alright, here we go! 336 00:28:05,192 --> 00:28:06,380 Wood? 337 00:28:07,411 --> 00:28:09,108 Cut the ball, man! 338 00:28:15,029 --> 00:28:17,626 - Woody? - Sorry, coach. 339 00:28:21,557 --> 00:28:24,510 Alright, let's get this. 340 00:28:26,549 --> 00:28:28,653 Go! 341 00:28:32,011 --> 00:28:34,437 - Wood man, come on! - Wake up, boy! 342 00:28:35,552 --> 00:28:36,606 Sorry, coach. 343 00:28:42,037 --> 00:28:43,528 I got it! 344 00:28:50,423 --> 00:28:54,917 What the hell were you doing out there? You play like a damn woman! 345 00:28:55,134 --> 00:28:56,711 I feel a little peaky. 346 00:28:57,609 --> 00:29:00,055 - It means off colour. - I know what 'peaky' means! 347 00:29:00,278 --> 00:29:02,535 You listen to me, and you listen good! 348 00:29:02,709 --> 00:29:06,079 This homecoming game is gonna be the biggest game in those boys' lives. 349 00:29:06,294 --> 00:29:09,064 You may have a god given talent but I... 350 00:29:09,170 --> 00:29:12,009 will not risk you letting them down. Do you hear me? 351 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,346 Yes, coach! 352 00:29:15,895 --> 00:29:16,989 You get your shit together or you'll be... 353 00:29:17,096 --> 00:29:18,898 watching the game from the side lines! 354 00:29:23,298 --> 00:29:26,283 Don't let it bug you buddy, just hang in there! 355 00:29:27,012 --> 00:29:30,372 Look, you just hit a slump, just like a golfer. 356 00:29:30,595 --> 00:29:34,465 It doesn't matter how big you are, every now and again you lose a swing. 357 00:29:34,691 --> 00:29:39,205 So you keep working on your strokes and banging those balls. 358 00:29:41,048 --> 00:29:43,001 Do you wanna touch my helmet? 359 00:29:44,674 --> 00:29:47,468 My lucky helmet. It works for me, maybe it'll... 360 00:29:47,574 --> 00:29:49,953 do you the same. Go ahead, give it a rub! 361 00:29:52,061 --> 00:29:55,889 What is it that has made it to the happiness your helmet? 362 00:29:57,936 --> 00:30:00,507 It's actually a little foolish. 363 00:30:00,728 --> 00:30:05,101 The first time Chanel gave me a hand fighter, I came on the helmet. 364 00:30:05,311 --> 00:30:08,143 It brings back memories. 365 00:30:19,629 --> 00:30:23,361 (music) Elton John: Candle in the Wind 366 00:30:24,236 --> 00:30:28,832 Oh man, this is crappy music! 367 00:30:35,518 --> 00:30:39,049 It forms a pattern. 368 00:30:46,851 --> 00:30:49,007 Here he comes. 369 00:30:49,226 --> 00:30:52,010 I have seen you. - Pardon. 370 00:30:51,828 --> 00:30:52,846 Loser! 371 00:30:53,065 --> 00:30:55,442 Yeah, you too and your mama! 372 00:31:01,384 --> 00:31:03,083 I heard about football practice. 373 00:31:03,305 --> 00:31:05,937 - Those boys are really rough. I'm covered in bruises. 374 00:31:06,163 --> 00:31:08,950 I don't care about your bruises. If coach drops you my life is over. 375 00:31:09,174 --> 00:31:12,958 Why are you so worked up? It's only a game! 376 00:31:13,312 --> 00:31:15,168 No, it's not only a game. It's football! 377 00:31:15,275 --> 00:31:17,299 Jesus, don't you get anything? 378 00:31:17,517 --> 00:31:20,176 I get that whatever this is it clearly isn't a head cold. 379 00:31:20,282 --> 00:31:22,881 Do you have any better theories, smart ass? 380 00:31:23,837 --> 00:31:27,095 Look at you. What am I wearing? 381 00:31:28,354 --> 00:31:31,035 Chinos and a Oxford cotton button-down I found in the back of your closet. 382 00:31:31,255 --> 00:31:36,392 Which is exactly where it is meant to stay until another one of my relatives croaks! 383 00:31:36,575 --> 00:31:37,954 Nonsense, you can't beat the classic look! 384 00:31:38,167 --> 00:31:39,979 My hair, you've made it all dorky! 385 00:31:40,085 --> 00:31:42,209 A center parting is very European looking. 386 00:31:42,434 --> 00:31:43,977 No, it is very dorky looking! 387 00:31:44,084 --> 00:31:45,862 Excuse me for taking a little pride in your appearance! 388 00:31:46,085 --> 00:31:50,089 You could have ruined my life, I look like a male version of you! 389 00:31:50,565 --> 00:31:54,358 As long as I'm stuck inside this disgusting body,... 390 00:31:55,465 --> 00:31:56,844 you'll just have to put up with it! 391 00:31:57,707 --> 00:32:01,069 Alright, if that's how you want it, sweet cheeks. 392 00:32:11,228 --> 00:32:16,561 (music) Scissor Sisters: Filthy / Gorgeous 393 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:51,256 Nice ass! 394 00:32:52,281 --> 00:32:54,218 You're looking fine, sugar! 395 00:32:54,611 --> 00:32:56,995 - What are you doing? - Protecting your modesty. 396 00:32:57,102 --> 00:32:58,812 You look like a common prostitute! 397 00:32:58,918 --> 00:33:00,602 Damn, I was going for a high class hooker! 398 00:33:00,710 --> 00:33:03,196 You can not walk into school like this! 399 00:33:03,418 --> 00:33:06,508 I can do whatever I want. Now get your hands off me or I'll scream. 400 00:33:34,758 --> 00:33:38,506 What are you doing? You're supposed to be Shakespeare. 401 00:33:46,577 --> 00:33:48,530 OK, here goes. 402 00:33:49,734 --> 00:33:51,736 Nice penis. 403 00:34:11,816 --> 00:34:14,885 Nothing like a bit of personal hygiene. 404 00:34:27,511 --> 00:34:28,852 Well, it has to be done. 405 00:34:33,343 --> 00:34:35,296 Come on, think about it. 406 00:34:35,518 --> 00:34:38,200 And she's totally pretending to be pretty. 407 00:34:42,766 --> 00:34:45,890 - Hello, Woody. - Hello, Breanna. 408 00:34:46,113 --> 00:34:48,093 I have something I want to say to you. 409 00:34:48,199 --> 00:34:49,713 Let me guess: you're sorry about blowing me off. 410 00:34:51,063 --> 00:34:54,216 No. I'm afraid we can't see each other any more. 411 00:34:55,182 --> 00:34:56,965 Very funny, Woody. 412 00:34:57,187 --> 00:35:00,343 Well, I don't find you that attractive any more. 413 00:35:00,855 --> 00:35:03,927 You just look kind of plain. 414 00:35:05,592 --> 00:35:08,614 And don't worry about your moustache. Some guys are really into that shit. 415 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,011 Suck on this, Woody Dean. 416 00:35:13,229 --> 00:35:14,976 I can't believe he said that to her! 417 00:35:15,192 --> 00:35:18,552 You can't really see the hairs anyway. 418 00:35:18,801 --> 00:35:20,690 What just happened? 419 00:35:20,909 --> 00:35:23,429 Seems you and your girlfriend just broke up. 420 00:35:23,534 --> 00:35:24,720 Commiserations. 421 00:35:25,006 --> 00:35:26,239 No! Me and Breanna? 422 00:35:26,347 --> 00:35:29,179 Breanna and I, but let's not quip over details. 423 00:35:30,850 --> 00:35:33,872 - You broke up with my girlfriend? - You'll get over it. 424 00:35:36,458 --> 00:35:37,666 Wanna go for a ride? 425 00:35:38,104 --> 00:35:40,360 I have to go, tonight's a big night for me. 426 00:35:40,772 --> 00:35:42,471 You too. 427 00:35:44,271 --> 00:35:48,494 Congratulations. Tonight's the night you finally get to lose it. 428 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,163 Nicky! 429 00:36:11,407 --> 00:36:13,679 There you go, babe. 430 00:36:13,881 --> 00:36:15,580 Thanks. 431 00:36:15,867 --> 00:36:18,701 Nice... 432 00:36:18,941 --> 00:36:21,153 - ... trailer. - It's a dump. 433 00:36:21,372 --> 00:36:23,392 But... my folks are away... 434 00:36:24,169 --> 00:36:27,615 ...and we won't be disturbed. 435 00:36:33,164 --> 00:36:37,542 Wow! Never seen a chick drink like that before. 436 00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:41,774 My throat's a little dry. 437 00:36:44,466 --> 00:36:48,505 Maybe I could moisten it up a little. 438 00:36:48,718 --> 00:36:52,266 I can't. I need another beer. 439 00:36:55,157 --> 00:36:57,072 Sure. 440 00:37:06,590 --> 00:37:09,186 - You OK? - I'm fine thank you. 441 00:37:09,405 --> 00:37:13,185 You've been acting kind of weird lately. 442 00:37:15,291 --> 00:37:17,598 I think I know what's on your mind. 443 00:37:17,934 --> 00:37:19,700 - I don't think you do. - Let me guess. 444 00:37:20,389 --> 00:37:23,743 You think if you don't impress those scouts, 445 00:37:23,850 --> 00:37:26,832 you're gonna end up working with your dad 446 00:37:26,937 --> 00:37:28,154 in spatula world. 447 00:37:30,372 --> 00:37:35,482 I ain't stupid, Woody. Just let things fall into place. 448 00:37:36,304 --> 00:37:38,681 Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you. 449 00:37:41,789 --> 00:37:46,267 So you don't want to work with spatulas, what the fuck, hey? 450 00:37:54,587 --> 00:37:56,081 Not here. 451 00:37:57,061 --> 00:37:59,270 OK, let's go to the master bedroom. 452 00:38:03,079 --> 00:38:06,035 Let's get cracking baby, cause daddy's packing! 453 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:12,358 Oh god, what was I thinking? This is so gay! 454 00:38:14,664 --> 00:38:16,194 What are you waiting for, baby? 455 00:38:16,756 --> 00:38:19,351 Daddy wants to see some flesh. 456 00:38:19,614 --> 00:38:23,365 He's gonna make me his bitch! Woody the bitch boy! 457 00:38:23,710 --> 00:38:25,647 Maybe you need a little help? 458 00:38:27,829 --> 00:38:29,408 I have to pee. 459 00:38:30,623 --> 00:38:31,338 Now? 460 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,784 Yeah, I can feel I have to freaking go. So, you... 461 00:38:34,891 --> 00:38:35,782 get undressed - 462 00:38:35,997 --> 00:38:38,377 and don't start without me. 463 00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:46,596 Hey, come back! 464 00:38:52,256 --> 00:38:54,702 (music) Elton John: Candle in the Wind 465 00:38:54,807 --> 00:38:57,064 Not this shit again, man! 466 00:38:57,227 --> 00:39:02,547 It's very melodic. If you give it a chance you might learn to enjoy it. 467 00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:05,257 (music) Elton John: Candle in the Wind 468 00:39:06,375 --> 00:39:08,377 No. Still shit. 469 00:39:08,892 --> 00:39:10,930 Have you heard about that grease ball Nicky? 470 00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:16,135 No. - Him and pencil-girl, they got it on last night. 471 00:39:21,881 --> 00:39:23,750 Didn't you guys hear? No, what? 472 00:39:23,855 --> 00:39:25,340 She did it in the trailer park. 473 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:30,392 She probably didn't even know it was a trailer park. 474 00:39:39,787 --> 00:39:41,740 Woody, are you crying? 475 00:39:42,309 --> 00:39:46,094 What's wrong? 476 00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:49,555 I'm sorry. 477 00:39:49,984 --> 00:39:55,649 I just found out I lost my virginity in a trailer park. 478 00:40:05,509 --> 00:40:09,682 I gotta go. I got a class. 479 00:40:35,703 --> 00:40:38,165 Hey, do you think she might do it with me? 480 00:40:38,774 --> 00:40:41,323 No! Get lost. 481 00:40:50,678 --> 00:40:52,734 What? 482 00:40:53,561 --> 00:40:58,869 Sorry about that. Don't worry. You had a great time. 483 00:40:59,894 --> 00:41:01,356 Trust me, you'll never forget it. 484 00:41:01,666 --> 00:41:03,450 How could you do this to me? 485 00:41:05,294 --> 00:41:09,336 I know you're not the best looking guy in the world but it's only sex. 486 00:41:10,116 --> 00:41:12,626 I wanted it to be special. 487 00:41:13,973 --> 00:41:17,657 Well, you started it.'A central parting is very European looking'. 488 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,154 You lost me my girlfriend. 489 00:41:19,374 --> 00:41:21,529 I was saving it for the boy I fell in love with. 490 00:41:30,150 --> 00:41:32,575 Look, nothing happened, OK? 491 00:41:35,628 --> 00:41:37,753 - Really? - Really. 492 00:41:39,108 --> 00:41:41,215 That's not what Nicky is telling everyone. 493 00:41:41,322 --> 00:41:42,348 Well, Nicky is a liar. 494 00:41:43,546 --> 00:41:46,094 Try telling that to the entire world. 495 00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:49,494 How's it feel to be a cheap little slut? 496 00:41:53,852 --> 00:41:58,402 Looks like I have to have a talk with that son of a bitch, cause no one... 497 00:41:58,508 --> 00:42:00,330 calls us a slut. 498 00:42:14,352 --> 00:42:16,793 Pass the ball! 499 00:42:17,848 --> 00:42:19,396 Nicky, here's your ho! 500 00:42:20,968 --> 00:42:25,219 - Hey, I'm looking for you! - You found me, baby. 501 00:42:25,538 --> 00:42:27,462 What the hell did you say? 502 00:42:29,477 --> 00:42:31,581 Nothing 503 00:42:32,269 --> 00:42:33,847 Oh really? 504 00:42:33,991 --> 00:42:36,334 ...that wasn't 100 percent true. 505 00:42:37,669 --> 00:42:39,011 You greasy scumbag liar. 506 00:42:39,443 --> 00:42:42,466 And you've got a very dirty little mouth. 507 00:42:42,709 --> 00:42:44,287 Then again... 508 00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:48,060 ...I already knew that. 509 00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:52,280 - A little hellcat, ain't you? - Asshole! 510 00:42:55,827 --> 00:42:57,951 That's no way to treat a lady, mister! 511 00:42:58,173 --> 00:43:01,278 And what kind of word is 'ain't you'. It's wrong on so many levels. 512 00:43:02,586 --> 00:43:04,400 Why don't you tell everyone what really happened? 513 00:43:04,615 --> 00:43:06,822 - Tell them! - Nothing! Nothing happened! 514 00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:09,435 I think you owe this sweet, innocent, 515 00:43:09,542 --> 00:43:12,119 yet very attractive young lady an apology. 516 00:43:14,214 --> 00:43:16,793 Sorry. 517 00:43:17,946 --> 00:43:19,644 I'm sorry! 518 00:43:19,933 --> 00:43:21,072 Thanks. 519 00:43:27,612 --> 00:43:31,143 It's so much fun to hit someone. I'd like to punch him again. 520 00:43:31,566 --> 00:43:37,843 Easy champ. Doesn't mean I forgive you about screwing up about Breanna and I. 521 00:43:38,493 --> 00:43:39,070 Breanna and me. 522 00:43:40,673 --> 00:43:42,982 Sorry. I'll try and fix things. 523 00:43:43,207 --> 00:43:46,109 What's the point? I'm a girl, remember? 524 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,698 Jesus, what am I gonna do? Homecoming's next Friday. 525 00:43:52,253 --> 00:43:54,121 My life is a complete disaster. 526 00:43:54,345 --> 00:43:56,543 What were we doing before this happened? 527 00:43:56,651 --> 00:43:57,026 Arguing? 528 00:43:57,245 --> 00:43:59,672 - We always argue. - Not always. 529 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,124 We were at the museum. 530 00:44:03,645 --> 00:44:08,887 - In front of that ugly Mexican dude. - Aztek. Texcatlipoca. 531 00:44:09,106 --> 00:44:12,062 - That's the guy. - He's the ancient god of sorcery. 532 00:44:24,850 --> 00:44:26,635 We close in 5 minutes, folks. 533 00:44:35,497 --> 00:44:36,367 OK, you go first. 534 00:44:36,473 --> 00:44:38,603 No, you go first, you have the biggest mouth. 535 00:44:39,148 --> 00:44:43,230 - Hi, how are you? - Is that the best you can do? 536 00:44:43,337 --> 00:44:45,375 He's a god, not your aunt Betsy. 537 00:44:45,481 --> 00:44:48,488 You may have got the impression that this... 538 00:44:48,596 --> 00:44:51,538 young fellow and I didn't like it each other. 539 00:44:52,204 --> 00:44:56,226 But let me tell you, that could not be any farther from the truth. 540 00:44:56,447 --> 00:45:00,093 That's right. Sure we were fighting but all friends fight, right? 541 00:45:00,311 --> 00:45:07,791 How could you not like Nell? She is really tidy and smart, way smart! 542 00:45:09,015 --> 00:45:12,337 Kinda cute, especially when she does that thing with her nose. 543 00:45:13,195 --> 00:45:14,853 We get along really well. 544 00:45:15,626 --> 00:45:18,951 - Yeah, we're actually very close. - The closest. 545 00:45:19,168 --> 00:45:20,478 Real homies. 546 00:45:20,704 --> 00:45:22,912 - To the end, bro. - Don't overdo it. 547 00:45:26,165 --> 00:45:30,035 Now that we've got that cleared up, here's what we're gonna do. 548 00:45:30,304 --> 00:45:32,391 We close our eyes, count to three - 549 00:45:32,609 --> 00:45:36,138 and when we open them up, we'll be back in our right bodies. 550 00:45:36,661 --> 00:45:38,153 If that's OK with you - 551 00:45:38,367 --> 00:45:43,615 which I'm sure it is, since this is just a big misunderstanding we can 552 00:45:43,722 --> 00:45:45,834 laugh about in years to come. 553 00:45:46,219 --> 00:45:47,528 Let's do it. 554 00:45:55,691 --> 00:45:56,829 One... 555 00:45:57,994 --> 00:45:59,607 ...two... 556 00:46:00,169 --> 00:46:01,576 ...three. 557 00:46:09,493 --> 00:46:11,618 Maybe he only speaks Mexican? 558 00:46:12,841 --> 00:46:15,692 So what are we gonna do next, buy him an enchilada? 559 00:46:16,321 --> 00:46:18,662 I had my heart set on Yale. 560 00:46:19,393 --> 00:46:21,772 No, please, not the tears, please? 561 00:46:22,958 --> 00:46:26,591 You think I wanna end up in my dad's spatula store? 562 00:46:26,816 --> 00:46:28,686 You don't know. 563 00:46:32,363 --> 00:46:33,637 Wait, wait! 564 00:46:34,178 --> 00:46:36,181 You beat up Nicky. -So? 565 00:46:41,304 --> 00:46:44,581 You have my body, my strength. 566 00:46:44,888 --> 00:46:47,739 All I need to do is show you how to use it. 567 00:46:51,501 --> 00:46:53,777 And we could study so you could get through my interview. 568 00:46:54,884 --> 00:46:55,130 Huh? 569 00:46:56,386 --> 00:47:01,719 (music) Orson: Tryin' to Help 570 00:47:14,119 --> 00:47:16,719 Three, three, three. 571 00:47:18,219 --> 00:47:20,219 It was cool. 572 00:47:39,377 --> 00:47:41,566 Ready? 573 00:47:41,584 --> 00:47:43,376 As hard as you like. 574 00:47:44,739 --> 00:47:46,183 Come on. 575 00:47:54,383 --> 00:47:56,383 Sorry. 576 00:47:57,583 --> 00:48:01,983 You make me look like a fagot. We go somewhere else. 577 00:48:03,383 --> 00:48:06,083 - Untranslated subtitle - 578 00:48:06,140 --> 00:48:07,641 Once the sign is given - 579 00:48:07,858 --> 00:48:09,119 the center snaps the ball to the quarterback... 580 00:48:09,226 --> 00:48:12,251 and the game begins. Are you with me so far? 581 00:48:14,746 --> 00:48:16,360 The offence has a limited amount of time... 582 00:48:16,580 --> 00:48:19,127 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 583 00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:21,509 Thou art more lovely and more temperate. 584 00:48:21,725 --> 00:48:25,135 Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May. 585 00:48:25,352 --> 00:48:28,457 And summer's lease hath all too short a date. 586 00:48:30,064 --> 00:48:32,302 So, he's not actually saying that she's like a... 587 00:48:32,409 --> 00:48:35,714 summer's day? He say she is hot like a summer's day? 588 00:48:35,933 --> 00:48:37,886 Yeah, that's it exactly! 589 00:48:40,839 --> 00:48:42,918 Right, you know, I still can't imagine ever... 590 00:48:43,025 --> 00:48:45,062 actually saying something like that to someone. 591 00:48:45,917 --> 00:48:47,578 Feel like so uncool. 592 00:48:47,794 --> 00:48:49,569 Maybe you'd just have to meet the right... 593 00:48:49,676 --> 00:48:51,116 person to say that kind of stuff to. 594 00:48:51,354 --> 00:48:54,461 Or maybe I just don't wanna look like a doofus. 595 00:48:54,661 --> 00:48:58,581 Well, Shaky must really have liked that one. She must have been some babe. 596 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,263 Actually, Shakespeare wrote this to a young man. 597 00:49:01,872 --> 00:49:05,063 - Shakespeare was a homo? - We don't know that exactly. 598 00:49:05,328 --> 00:49:07,173 He writes a poem to a guy telling him... 599 00:49:07,279 --> 00:49:09,078 how hot he is and you don't know exactly? 600 00:49:09,297 --> 00:49:12,112 Gees, what do you have to do before you know exactly? 601 00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:15,056 Write an ode to a schlong? 602 00:49:15,483 --> 00:49:17,180 I think that's enough for today. 603 00:49:17,402 --> 00:49:19,510 The bard was a bender. Who would've though? 604 00:49:20,030 --> 00:49:21,644 See you tomorrow. 605 00:49:22,078 --> 00:49:23,484 Good night. 606 00:49:29,781 --> 00:49:31,571 Listen, I was wrong about your parents. They're... 607 00:49:31,678 --> 00:49:34,362 alright once you get used to your mom's language. 608 00:49:34,579 --> 00:49:35,530 Mom's pretty cool. 609 00:49:38,485 --> 00:49:40,486 Woody, can I ask you a question? 610 00:49:42,282 --> 00:49:44,556 Sure. 611 00:49:45,779 --> 00:49:49,698 In the morning... 612 00:49:50,364 --> 00:49:52,062 - Never mind. - What? 613 00:49:52,284 --> 00:49:54,237 - No, it's nothing really. - Go on. 614 00:49:54,460 --> 00:49:56,499 It's a little embarrassing but... 615 00:49:56,722 --> 00:49:58,452 ...every morning you... 616 00:49:59,287 --> 00:50:01,647 ...have this thing.... you know... 617 00:50:01,834 --> 00:50:07,701 - The thing that you... - What? 618 00:50:08,607 --> 00:50:11,288 You know, every morning? 619 00:50:12,494 --> 00:50:18,025 - You mean the old boner. - That's not the word I would have used. 620 00:50:18,249 --> 00:50:19,797 Boy, do I miss that guy. 621 00:50:19,904 --> 00:50:23,794 I'm sure you do. What I'd like to know: how can I get rid of it? 622 00:50:25,245 --> 00:50:26,823 Only one way I know of. 623 00:50:27,975 --> 00:50:30,317 That's disgusting... I would never... 624 00:50:30,750 --> 00:50:32,242 ...there's got to be another way, right? 625 00:50:34,801 --> 00:50:37,468 Well, there is one thing that I do in case of emergencies.... 626 00:50:37,729 --> 00:50:40,883 ...sort of lets the air out of the old tire, if you know what I'm saying. 627 00:50:41,696 --> 00:50:46,550 First I close my eyes, and I think of you. 628 00:50:50,463 --> 00:50:53,228 - Works every the time. - Good night. 629 00:50:53,448 --> 00:50:54,807 See ya! 630 00:51:10,855 --> 00:51:14,114 - Hey, you want one? - No, thanks. 631 00:51:16,170 --> 00:51:20,343 You've had it quiet up there tonight. Are you OK? 632 00:51:21,588 --> 00:51:23,345 Yeah, I was just studying with Nell. 633 00:51:23,451 --> 00:51:25,066 Is that what you young people are calling it these days? 634 00:51:25,494 --> 00:51:29,855 - Nell's not that kind of girl. - I know. 635 00:51:30,377 --> 00:51:31,784 She's a good kid. 636 00:51:32,809 --> 00:51:36,196 You know, way back, her dad Ted and I used... 637 00:51:36,303 --> 00:51:38,945 to hang out together. He was a good guy, Ted. 638 00:51:39,177 --> 00:51:40,682 He still is. 639 00:51:41,603 --> 00:51:43,437 I mean, as far as I know. 640 00:51:44,376 --> 00:51:46,990 What ever happened between you two? 641 00:51:47,211 --> 00:51:52,623 Nell's mom, Katherine, I guess. She didn't really approve. 642 00:51:54,123 --> 00:51:58,617 We weren't her kind of people, I guess. 643 00:51:58,984 --> 00:52:01,191 Good night, son. 644 00:52:01,459 --> 00:52:03,691 Good night, dad. 645 00:52:13,261 --> 00:52:15,300 Oh god, she's crying. 646 00:52:19,234 --> 00:52:20,727 Chanel? 647 00:52:22,179 --> 00:52:23,877 Are you OK? - No 648 00:52:25,890 --> 00:52:27,637 Oh crap... 649 00:52:31,393 --> 00:52:32,970 What's wrong? 650 00:52:33,356 --> 00:52:37,492 It's about Harry. He's seeing some other girl. 651 00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:40,514 No, he wouldn't do that. 652 00:52:41,249 --> 00:52:45,254 Well, how come I saw him with his tongue stuck down her throat. 653 00:52:46,753 --> 00:52:48,671 Did you see who it was? 654 00:52:48,814 --> 00:52:54,038 No, they were in his car. But I saw what they were doing clear enough. 655 00:52:55,756 --> 00:52:57,947 Why are guys such jerks? 656 00:53:01,197 --> 00:53:06,015 Why am I asking you, you know less about guys than anybody on the planet. 657 00:53:08,708 --> 00:53:09,933 I'm sorry. 658 00:53:10,158 --> 00:53:12,973 - I didn't mean that. - You're right. 659 00:53:13,188 --> 00:53:15,444 What do I know about guys? 660 00:53:17,922 --> 00:53:22,060 I was so stupid. I know how Horse is like. 661 00:53:23,725 --> 00:53:25,322 Why do you go out with them? 662 00:53:26,864 --> 00:53:31,680 Cause when I started at Westdale I felt invisible. 663 00:53:31,899 --> 00:53:36,545 And then I started going out with Horse and I became friends - 664 00:53:36,762 --> 00:53:39,295 with Breanna and Tiffany and Woody and... 665 00:53:39,401 --> 00:53:42,175 everyone. And then people started to notice me. 666 00:53:43,674 --> 00:53:45,882 And I liked that. 667 00:53:47,814 --> 00:53:51,988 So, I guess I'm just afraid of feeling invisible again. 668 00:53:54,169 --> 00:53:58,428 You know I think that a lot more people feel that way than you realize. 669 00:53:59,161 --> 00:54:00,945 You do? 670 00:54:01,679 --> 00:54:05,344 You go your own way no matter what anyone thinks. 671 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:09,738 I admire you, Nell. 672 00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:19,944 And this is Mr. Stinky, you have to say hello. 673 00:54:20,050 --> 00:54:23,004 Why did you bring that pencil neck to our sleepover? 674 00:54:24,229 --> 00:54:25,504 Nell's OK. 675 00:54:25,723 --> 00:54:28,491 She just wants to hang, right? 676 00:54:29,777 --> 00:54:32,591 Oh yeah, Carey told me we're all going in our jammies. 677 00:54:37,415 --> 00:54:40,145 I see you finally seen the errors of your geekish ways? 678 00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:42,905 I have. This girl just wants to have fun. 679 00:54:44,672 --> 00:54:47,928 OK. OK! Let's get to our PJ's! 680 00:54:50,841 --> 00:54:54,150 Woo, fuckin' woo! 681 00:55:02,416 --> 00:55:05,844 Lock target in 5 and will you check out that ass! 682 00:55:06,535 --> 00:55:07,590 What about Chanel? 683 00:55:10,459 --> 00:55:11,480 No, don't see her. 684 00:55:11,699 --> 00:55:13,396 Think about it Harry - 685 00:55:13,617 --> 00:55:16,428 are you willing to betray the love of a good... 686 00:55:16,534 --> 00:55:19,284 woman for the cheap thrill of a one night stand? 687 00:55:24,370 --> 00:55:28,119 You crack me up, you know that boy. 688 00:55:28,337 --> 00:55:30,187 You were always into the 'faithful' Woody, but I'm the Horse - 689 00:55:30,408 --> 00:55:33,921 and Horse people knows of no such boundaries. And plus - 690 00:55:34,139 --> 00:55:38,531 at night I'm a locked target 691 00:55:40,156 --> 00:55:43,195 You know what happens. A few drinks, quality control goes out the window - 692 00:55:43,422 --> 00:55:45,304 and before you know it, you're sucking... 693 00:55:45,412 --> 00:55:47,293 face with some swill muncher from downtown. 694 00:55:47,518 --> 00:55:50,879 Or worse still. I end up here with you - 695 00:55:51,103 --> 00:55:54,268 drunk on some dark street telling you I love you. 696 00:55:54,974 --> 00:55:57,666 And you know me doesn't want that to happen, homie. 697 00:55:58,015 --> 00:56:00,052 Let's go to a party. 698 00:56:00,352 --> 00:56:03,676 So Breanna, you're not seeing Woody anymore? 699 00:56:03,782 --> 00:56:04,228 That is so over. 700 00:56:04,333 --> 00:56:08,064 Such a shame. I mean, you guys were the perfect couple. 701 00:56:08,874 --> 00:56:12,167 Duh. I was only seeing him because he's the football captain. 702 00:56:12,374 --> 00:56:15,011 Without me, he's just another dumb jock with his brains in his shorts. 703 00:56:15,232 --> 00:56:18,016 Which is convenient because not much else is going on down there. 704 00:56:19,216 --> 00:56:21,216 Taper! 705 00:56:30,933 --> 00:56:31,566 Loser! Drink up, man! 706 00:56:32,515 --> 00:56:37,155 (music) Sugababes: Push the Button 707 00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:41,744 Manicure, pedicure, face masks. Are we done yet? 708 00:56:43,159 --> 00:56:48,382 Nell, I couldn't help noticing that you're a little on the bristly side. 709 00:56:51,222 --> 00:56:53,241 Down below. 710 00:56:54,655 --> 00:56:58,300 You've got sort of a rainforest thing going on. 711 00:56:58,519 --> 00:57:01,708 It's a bush and isn't it supposed to be bushy? 712 00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:07,061 - We've all gone totally latino. - Totally. 713 00:57:07,710 --> 00:57:08,729 Really? 714 00:57:08,948 --> 00:57:10,864 You should too. - Yeah - Absolutely! 715 00:57:11,550 --> 00:57:13,588 You know, we could do it for you right now. 716 00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:15,709 Latino. 717 00:57:17,779 --> 00:57:19,733 What the hell, let's do it! 718 00:57:20,022 --> 00:57:23,361 OK girls, we've got a green light on the Brazilian wax. 719 00:57:23,581 --> 00:57:25,177 Tiffany, bring me scissors and depilatory strips. 720 00:57:25,397 --> 00:57:28,675 Chanel, I'm gonna need towels and hot water. Lots of it! 721 00:57:28,897 --> 00:57:32,459 Nell, sit back, relax and do exactly... 722 00:57:43,146 --> 00:57:44,674 One more, give me one more! 723 00:57:50,952 --> 00:57:52,531 Bite down on this. 724 00:57:53,428 --> 00:57:55,126 On three. One... 725 00:57:55,434 --> 00:57:59,216 Maybe this is a bad idea. 726 00:58:01,016 --> 00:58:02,316 Excellent! 727 00:58:02,339 --> 00:58:04,681 Did I say you I love you, man? 728 00:58:05,881 --> 00:58:07,968 I really do love you, man. 729 00:58:08,569 --> 00:58:12,526 You're like... my... twin brother. 730 00:58:14,031 --> 00:58:17,901 You're white but you're my twin brother. 731 00:58:22,821 --> 00:58:25,502 Man, this is some kind of brazilian. 732 00:58:27,579 --> 00:58:29,362 How are you feeling? 733 00:58:30,907 --> 00:58:32,690 A little better. 734 00:58:34,534 --> 00:58:37,640 - How much did you drink last night? - I don't know. 735 00:58:37,904 --> 00:58:43,588 I just remember feeling unusually happy and having a really good time - 736 00:58:43,811 --> 00:58:46,560 and then like somebody picked up the room and started spinning it. 737 00:58:46,833 --> 00:58:48,826 I don't know, I'm an idiot. 738 00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:53,602 Think of it as a rite of passage. Go easy next time. 739 00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:57,693 Thanks for taking care of me. 740 00:59:03,077 --> 00:59:05,547 See you after lunch. We have stuff to do today. 741 00:59:05,653 --> 00:59:07,268 Yeah, I know. 742 00:59:08,947 --> 00:59:13,949 Drop back, pump it and then throw the ball. 743 00:59:15,918 --> 00:59:17,532 Alright, I can do that. 744 00:59:21,551 --> 00:59:23,078 No, you're telegraphing, you're way telegraphing. 745 00:59:23,299 --> 00:59:25,471 Watch me. Get behind me. Follow what I do. 746 00:59:28,145 --> 00:59:30,232 - What is that? - What's what? 747 00:59:30,662 --> 00:59:34,211 That's sticking in my ass. - Oh, sorry. 748 00:59:34,716 --> 00:59:36,414 We're meant to be playing football. 749 00:59:36,636 --> 00:59:40,385 It's not my fault. I'm sorry. It's your thing, not mine. 750 00:59:40,603 --> 00:59:41,850 Yeah, but you're behind the wheel. 751 00:59:41,957 --> 00:59:43,418 I guess that means you find me attractive. 752 00:59:43,632 --> 00:59:46,872 No actually, that means you find me attractive. 753 00:59:47,489 --> 00:59:48,684 Let's not read too much into it, OK. This thing finds anything attractive. 754 00:59:49,905 --> 00:59:51,779 That is such a guy thing to say. 755 00:59:51,886 --> 00:59:53,213 Can we just keep playing football, please? 756 00:59:53,939 --> 00:59:56,669 Sure, as long as you keep my dick out of your butt. 757 01:00:32,064 --> 01:00:35,963 Ah, came through the windows! 758 01:00:36,163 --> 01:00:38,247 One of the many skills I've acquired lately. 759 01:00:38,847 --> 01:00:40,984 Keep our voices down. If my mom knows 760 01:00:41,089 --> 01:00:43,955 I have a boy in my room she'd spontaneously combust. 761 01:00:44,178 --> 01:00:46,605 I'm trying to settle what to wear for your interview. 762 01:00:46,825 --> 01:00:49,287 Navy suit, white blouse and sensible shoes. 763 01:00:49,513 --> 01:00:51,637 You don't think something a little hotter? 764 01:00:52,329 --> 01:00:54,415 It's an interview... 765 01:00:57,235 --> 01:01:01,459 - You're joking. - At least now you can tell. 766 01:01:02,825 --> 01:01:06,659 I've been thinking. While we're like this - 767 01:01:06,877 --> 01:01:07,982 I wonder if it would make sense if... 768 01:01:08,089 --> 01:01:10,664 we could go to the Homecoming dance together. 769 01:01:10,890 --> 01:01:14,023 Not only because, well, who else would we go with? I don't wanna be 770 01:01:14,130 --> 01:01:16,140 stuck with P. the whole night. 771 01:01:16,245 --> 01:01:19,878 - It wouldn't be a date. - No, no, no. 772 01:01:21,964 --> 01:01:25,578 - I'd like that. - Great. It's a date. 773 01:01:26,186 --> 01:01:28,444 A non-date date. 774 01:01:28,660 --> 01:01:31,429 Nell, wash hands! Dinner! 775 01:01:31,648 --> 01:01:33,686 My cue to go. 776 01:01:36,468 --> 01:01:38,301 Non-date date. 777 01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:44,017 It's alright! I'm OK! 778 01:01:49,098 --> 01:01:50,930 I will be kinda late tomorrow. 779 01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,421 Kind of. 780 01:01:56,778 --> 01:01:58,902 Kind of late tomorrow. 781 01:02:00,063 --> 01:02:02,525 What is with you at the moment? Ted? 782 01:02:03,391 --> 01:02:06,073 Sometimes I feel as though I don't know who you are anymore. 783 01:02:06,378 --> 01:02:08,889 She's growing up, Katherine. 784 01:02:12,948 --> 01:02:17,850 So, are you going to tell me what you're doing or is it a secret? 785 01:02:18,962 --> 01:02:21,560 It's no secret, I'm studying with Woody. 786 01:02:21,949 --> 01:02:22,968 Again? 787 01:02:23,315 --> 01:02:24,930 Yeah, you've got a problem with that? No. 788 01:02:31,147 --> 01:02:34,083 If you want to waste your valuable time it's your affair. 789 01:02:34,304 --> 01:02:35,918 Who says I'm wasting my time? 790 01:02:37,334 --> 01:02:38,948 Oh Nell, you only have to look at the boy. 791 01:02:39,552 --> 01:02:40,777 What's wrong with him? 792 01:02:41,002 --> 01:02:43,599 He's stupid, he's trouble and he's a loser. 793 01:02:44,204 --> 01:02:45,561 You told me so yourself. 794 01:02:47,853 --> 01:02:51,517 There's nothing you can do to change that. Look at his family. 795 01:02:51,819 --> 01:02:54,114 You're up against basic genetics. 796 01:03:17,846 --> 01:03:20,578 Hi, Mr Bedworth. 797 01:03:22,027 --> 01:03:23,897 Is Nell around? 798 01:03:24,716 --> 01:03:27,879 She's gone back to school, i think, son, she said... 799 01:03:27,987 --> 01:03:29,934 she had to do some extra studying. She has 800 01:03:30,041 --> 01:03:31,751 her interview with Yale tomorrow. 801 01:03:31,961 --> 01:03:34,168 Ok. Well. Thanks. 802 01:03:37,155 --> 01:03:41,075 - So, how have you been, Mr. Bedworth? - I'm fine, Woody, just fine. 803 01:03:44,238 --> 01:03:49,279 - Well, give my best to your wife. - I will do. - Bye. 804 01:04:03,907 --> 01:04:05,690 What are you trying to do? 805 01:04:11,355 --> 01:04:14,255 - Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself! - Back off! 806 01:04:16,773 --> 01:04:18,811 Why are you doing this? 807 01:04:21,423 --> 01:04:24,019 Because this is who I am. 808 01:04:26,458 --> 01:04:29,140 This is all I've ever been. 809 01:04:31,535 --> 01:04:33,829 And now not even that. 810 01:04:37,447 --> 01:04:40,431 Football's not who you are. 811 01:04:41,927 --> 01:04:44,099 You don't get it, do you? 812 01:04:44,359 --> 01:04:47,126 - People like you never do. - People like me? 813 01:04:47,346 --> 01:04:50,024 What exactly is it people like me don't get? 814 01:04:50,132 --> 01:04:51,010 People like me! 815 01:04:52,763 --> 01:04:55,191 Then educate me, please! 816 01:04:59,956 --> 01:05:00,212 Ok. 817 01:05:01,325 --> 01:05:06,448 We like to play ball. Maybe we're even pretty good at it. 818 01:05:06,672 --> 01:05:10,931 So, maybe we get accepted to some second rate shit kicker college - 819 01:05:11,151 --> 01:05:16,613 or maybe we go work with our dad at the spatula store. Who knows? 820 01:05:17,338 --> 01:05:21,193 But what we don't get is a great job, a big apartment in the city - 821 01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:23,133 and a Yale education. 822 01:05:24,241 --> 01:05:28,573 So that's what this is about. The interview? - No! 823 01:05:30,978 --> 01:05:34,982 Yes. I don't know! 824 01:05:35,624 --> 01:05:40,272 - It's OK to be nervous. - Nothing is OK. Nothing! 825 01:05:42,152 --> 01:05:45,986 Tomorrow I'm supposed to be playing the most important game of my life. 826 01:05:46,205 --> 01:05:49,734 This is my destiny. Mine! 827 01:05:50,026 --> 01:05:54,435 I'm not supposed to be attending some college interview. 828 01:05:54,651 --> 01:05:59,979 So we got the wrong lives. But sometimes you just gotta get on with life. 829 01:06:00,796 --> 01:06:02,968 Let things fall into place. 830 01:06:06,173 --> 01:06:07,701 Do me a favour. 831 01:06:08,178 --> 01:06:11,080 Save your inspirational speeches for someone who gives a damn. 832 01:06:12,296 --> 01:06:13,995 I know who I am. 833 01:06:15,071 --> 01:06:19,500 I'm a loser, I'm trouble and I'm stupid. Basic genetics. 834 01:06:21,062 --> 01:06:22,639 Can't help it. 835 01:06:25,756 --> 01:06:29,100 Funny. I never took you for a quitter. 836 01:06:29,375 --> 01:06:33,708 (music) Fefe Dobson: Be Strong 837 01:07:36,226 --> 01:07:38,973 You can go in. 838 01:07:44,928 --> 01:07:48,336 - Miss Bedworth? - Yes, Nell. 839 01:07:48,967 --> 01:07:50,851 Please take a seat. 840 01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:59,963 One of the qualities we hope for in any Yale student is their passion. 841 01:08:00,244 --> 01:08:03,995 Your turn papers and test results are exemplary. 842 01:08:04,213 --> 01:08:07,883 But your love and knowledge of literature... 843 01:08:07,990 --> 01:08:09,816 is rare in a person of your years. 844 01:08:13,771 --> 01:08:15,536 Thank you, but it's an important part of my life. 845 01:08:17,422 --> 01:08:19,459 Go on. 846 01:08:21,730 --> 01:08:25,177 Poetry, for instance - 847 01:08:26,339 --> 01:08:30,040 I like the way that it can articulate and express feelings - 848 01:08:30,263 --> 01:08:34,304 complicated and difficult feelings that you can't express literally. 849 01:08:42,807 --> 01:08:45,063 What about modern literature? 850 01:08:45,495 --> 01:08:50,687 Are there any contemporary writers and poets that you particularly admire? 851 01:08:53,687 --> 01:08:56,282 No. Not really. 852 01:08:58,806 --> 01:09:00,723 Oh. Why is that? 853 01:09:02,219 --> 01:09:04,172 - Because they suck? - Oh. 854 01:09:07,126 --> 01:09:10,264 Welcome everybody to Homecoming, the biggest game of the year. 855 01:09:11,776 --> 01:09:13,543 Surely if poetry is no longer relevant - 856 01:09:13,762 --> 01:09:18,108 poets and their art form are doomed to extinction. 857 01:09:26,009 --> 01:09:29,283 I think that will be all. 858 01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:48,588 Actually, I do like some modern poets. 859 01:09:49,072 --> 01:09:51,364 In fact I love them. 860 01:09:53,826 --> 01:09:56,796 50 Cent, Pete Pablo, Marshal Mathers. 861 01:09:56,912 --> 01:09:58,260 I don't think I'm familiar with their works. 862 01:09:58,364 --> 01:09:59,857 Well, they're rap artists. 863 01:09:59,980 --> 01:10:01,819 And you consider that to be poetry? 864 01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:04,675 Absolutely. It's urban poetry, sir. 865 01:10:04,901 --> 01:10:09,584 They talk about their lives and experiences. They can be very brutal - 866 01:10:10,807 --> 01:10:14,351 but often under a coat of humour. Dark humour. Here, check it out. 867 01:10:17,975 --> 01:10:20,894 Applauds for the home theme. The Westdale Bay Beavers! 868 01:10:22,819 --> 01:10:24,160 That's my boy! 869 01:10:26,678 --> 01:10:28,206 Applauds for the quarterback, Woody Deanne! 870 01:10:28,313 --> 01:10:28,717 Woody Deanne! 871 01:10:28,939 --> 01:10:31,534 That's my boy! 872 01:10:33,084 --> 01:10:34,576 Wait! 873 01:10:52,728 --> 01:10:54,596 Here we go! 874 01:11:00,162 --> 01:11:02,184 Number 83, Johnny Chancer. 875 01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:23,216 Hey you, leave him alone or I'll sock you around! 876 01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:42,331 Touchdown for The Razorbacks, folks! 877 01:12:07,331 --> 01:12:09,437 Touchdown for The Razorbacks. 878 01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:12,445 As they take the lead, 14-0, early in the fourth quarter. 879 01:12:12,670 --> 01:12:17,402 There's still time folks, as Woody Deanne takes the play. 880 01:12:35,286 --> 01:12:39,327 12th yard loss. This is really unusual, folks. 881 01:12:41,346 --> 01:12:44,856 You just messed with the wrong girl. 882 01:12:49,257 --> 01:12:52,108 Hi Nell. I didn't know football was your bag. 883 01:12:52,329 --> 01:12:54,096 I just came to cheer the team. 884 01:12:54,913 --> 01:12:56,122 We're not doing too good. 885 01:13:05,707 --> 01:13:10,051 That's my boy! He's my boy! 886 01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,648 Touchdown for The Beavers by Harry the Horse! 887 01:13:27,314 --> 01:13:30,980 - Sit your fat arse down! - Point taken, my good woman. 888 01:13:32,417 --> 01:13:34,048 - Do you want some of the dog? - Yeah, thanks. 889 01:13:37,962 --> 01:13:39,624 Thanks, dad. 890 01:13:55,137 --> 01:13:58,158 This is it, folks. Only 5 seconds to go. 891 01:13:58,550 --> 01:14:02,506 Time for one more play. This is make or break for The Beavers. 892 01:14:07,894 --> 01:14:09,253 Ready? 893 01:14:22,931 --> 01:14:24,072 That's it, girl! 894 01:14:35,541 --> 01:14:38,289 Touchdown! 895 01:14:38,503 --> 01:14:41,950 The Westdale Beavers wins at the very last moment! 896 01:14:42,172 --> 01:14:45,367 It's a touchdown by Woody Deanne and The Beavers wins! 897 01:15:00,843 --> 01:15:02,099 What are you waiting here for? 898 01:15:08,693 --> 01:15:10,138 Woody! You're the man! 899 01:15:12,283 --> 01:15:13,641 Thanks. 900 01:15:14,244 --> 01:15:16,502 - Great game, son. - Thank you. 901 01:15:16,763 --> 01:15:19,159 - Decided for a college yet? - I've had my heart set on Yale 902 01:15:20,265 --> 01:15:21,732 since I was a little girl. 903 01:15:21,839 --> 01:15:25,284 That's funny. You know what, get your parents to give me a call. 904 01:15:25,805 --> 01:15:28,827 We're not Yale, but I think you might like what we have to offer. 905 01:15:29,390 --> 01:15:32,375 - Thank you so much. - No problem. Great game. 906 01:15:39,716 --> 01:15:43,162 - You did it! You were great! - Thank you. 907 01:15:43,939 --> 01:15:46,451 Did you see me out there? I totally kicked ass! 908 01:15:46,670 --> 01:15:49,607 And the guy back there, he was a scout. He gave me his card. 909 01:15:50,594 --> 01:15:54,516 - You're going to college. No spatulas. - I saw. Thank you! 910 01:15:56,057 --> 01:15:58,994 You know what the best part is? I totally loved it! 911 01:15:59,725 --> 01:16:02,341 Your adrenaline gets pumping and the crowd was totally into it. 912 01:16:06,148 --> 01:16:10,765 The interview? Oh my god, I totally forgot it. 913 01:16:11,714 --> 01:16:12,733 How was it? 914 01:16:13,102 --> 01:16:15,105 It was amazing. 915 01:16:15,877 --> 01:16:16,878 I mean, the place was. 916 01:16:17,095 --> 01:16:21,135 For a moment I really felt like part of it. 917 01:16:24,648 --> 01:16:26,480 I gave it my best shot. 918 01:16:28,145 --> 01:16:30,893 I'm sure you did. 919 01:16:31,407 --> 01:16:33,446 And that's all anyone can ask. 920 01:16:34,033 --> 01:16:36,444 And I tell you something. They would be lucky - 921 01:16:37,873 --> 01:16:41,793 to have someone like you. Thank you. 922 01:16:43,463 --> 01:16:45,125 Dito. 923 01:16:46,918 --> 01:16:51,092 You know, if I have to spend my life as someone else - 924 01:16:51,294 --> 01:16:54,296 I'd be honoured to be you. 925 01:16:56,902 --> 01:16:58,310 Dito back at you. 926 01:16:59,590 --> 01:17:02,053 Double double dito. 927 01:17:26,299 --> 01:17:27,828 Woody? 928 01:17:27,856 --> 01:17:32,374 - Hey guys, I'm back! - What are you talking about, 'back'? 929 01:17:37,353 --> 01:17:42,577 Hey there, Mr. Football hero. Am I attractive enough for you now? 930 01:18:03,741 --> 01:18:05,807 Please Mrs. Bedworth, I need to speak to Nell. 931 01:18:05,913 --> 01:18:06,405 She doesn't wish to speak with you. 932 01:18:06,622 --> 01:18:07,850 I have to talk to her! 933 01:18:08,074 --> 01:18:10,202 She isn't going to the dance, Woody, 934 01:18:10,309 --> 01:18:12,012 but she did say she hopes you have a good time - 935 01:18:12,492 --> 01:18:14,239 with Breanna Bailey. 936 01:18:17,268 --> 01:18:21,850 For just one moment, Woody, I thought you had changed. 937 01:18:29,875 --> 01:18:32,916 Come on honey, why the sad face? 938 01:18:35,190 --> 01:18:37,937 You got everything we ever wanted. 939 01:18:55,836 --> 01:19:00,169 (music) Dance Yourself to Death: Life, Not Living 940 01:19:02,409 --> 01:19:05,024 Oh my god! Look at that dress! 941 01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:23,169 So, do you like my dress? 942 01:19:25,089 --> 01:19:29,620 - Yeah, you look nice, Breanna. - It's so tight, it shows everything. 943 01:19:30,380 --> 01:19:32,504 I had to leave my panties off. 944 01:19:33,238 --> 01:19:35,032 Let's hope you don't get diarrhoea then. 945 01:19:35,055 --> 01:19:37,263 I'm gonna get some punch. 946 01:19:43,818 --> 01:19:45,091 - Harry? - Hm? 947 01:19:45,909 --> 01:19:47,269 Do you like my dress? 948 01:19:48,787 --> 01:19:50,230 Yeah baby, it looks good on you. 949 01:20:04,665 --> 01:20:06,609 I am so nervous? 950 01:20:06,715 --> 01:20:08,158 Are you kidding me? You've got this in a bag. 951 01:20:08,784 --> 01:20:12,077 I Know. Check the make-up? We won't be a minute. 952 01:20:12,300 --> 01:20:15,324 Woody, straighten your tie. Photographers! 953 01:20:21,859 --> 01:20:25,184 You know, seeing you in that tuxedo is making me feel kinda horny. 954 01:20:26,808 --> 01:20:29,217 - Let's do it in the bushes! - Serious? 955 01:20:30,688 --> 01:20:32,711 Yeah, it'd be like doing it with James Bond. 956 01:20:33,060 --> 01:20:38,999 You know me: 009/2. License to thrill! 957 01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:45,618 Wait! 958 01:20:45,889 --> 01:20:50,694 You wait over there, then I'll walk by like Halle Berry - 959 01:20:50,913 --> 01:20:54,546 and then you jump up and grab me. - I'm loving it. Yeah! 947 960 01:21:10,929 --> 01:21:12,881 Ready when you are baby! 961 01:21:13,488 --> 01:21:14,526 Come and get me! 962 01:21:14,749 --> 01:21:21,497 Chanel? Chanel? 963 01:21:23,812 --> 01:21:25,596 Goodbye, Mr. Bond. 964 01:21:31,536 --> 01:21:33,453 Halle Berry wouldn't have done that. 965 01:21:34,479 --> 01:21:37,974 Good evening, Westdale Bay! 966 01:21:38,618 --> 01:21:42,756 And the presentation of the crowns of this year's... 967 01:21:51,399 --> 01:21:55,014 - Hi, princess. - Hi daddy. 968 01:21:56,135 --> 01:22:01,306 - So you're not going to the dance? - No 969 01:22:03,321 --> 01:22:08,104 - Does it have anything to do with Woody? - No. 970 01:22:11,025 --> 01:22:12,467 Maybe. 971 01:22:14,567 --> 01:22:16,568 He likes someone else. 972 01:22:17,893 --> 01:22:20,102 But is she a princess? 973 01:22:22,204 --> 01:22:25,019 Anytime soon she'll be a queen. 974 01:22:25,318 --> 01:22:29,019 No contest. Princesses are younger and prettier - 975 01:22:29,242 --> 01:22:31,452 especially when they're my daughter. 976 01:22:36,581 --> 01:22:38,621 You really like him, don't you? 977 01:22:41,853 --> 01:22:44,212 - Yes - Me too. 978 01:22:45,414 --> 01:22:47,925 I think he's a good one. 979 01:22:48,698 --> 01:22:50,056 I think you should go. 980 01:22:59,620 --> 01:23:01,064 But I don't have anything to wear. 981 01:23:02,820 --> 01:23:05,029 Just a... 982 01:23:09,909 --> 01:23:13,243 There... Now, I'm not usually known for my taste in fashion... 983 01:23:13,349 --> 01:23:15,593 but the young lady in the store said it was 'dope'. 984 01:23:15,815 --> 01:23:17,939 I have no idea what that means of course. 985 01:23:21,214 --> 01:23:23,962 It's beautiful. 986 01:23:26,950 --> 01:23:31,342 She said you need these too. Apparently these are heavy. 987 01:23:32,265 --> 01:23:34,098 For all I know they could be dope as well. 988 01:23:36,002 --> 01:23:37,493 Thank you! 989 01:23:39,177 --> 01:23:43,267 And the title of Westdale Bay High Homecoming King - 990 01:23:43,657 --> 01:23:45,100 goes to - 991 01:23:45,686 --> 01:23:50,436 our very own footballing hero, Woody Deanne! 992 01:24:08,914 --> 01:24:11,765 And now for the biggie - 993 01:24:11,986 --> 01:24:16,398 this year's Westdale Bay Homecoming Queen is - 994 01:24:20,476 --> 01:24:21,394 Breanna Bailey. 995 01:24:33,514 --> 01:24:36,970 Thank you, Miss Bidermeyer. Principal Johnson. 996 01:24:37,908 --> 01:24:39,371 And thank you, Westdale Bay! 997 01:24:40,809 --> 01:24:43,304 There are so many people that I need to share this great honour with. 998 01:24:43,522 --> 01:24:46,667 My mother for undying support and... 999 01:24:46,773 --> 01:24:49,206 generous attitude towards cosmetic surgery. 1000 01:24:49,428 --> 01:24:51,600 My hair dresser, Georgio Theodopolous - my... 1001 01:24:51,817 --> 01:24:53,817 Thank you, Breanna. Another round of... 1002 01:24:53,924 --> 01:24:57,297 applauds please for Homecoming King and Queen! 1003 01:25:02,298 --> 01:25:06,632 (music) Ozzy Osbourne: Goodbye to Romance 1004 01:25:56,759 --> 01:25:59,926 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 1005 01:26:00,032 --> 01:26:02,729 Thou art more lovely and temperate. 1006 01:26:04,268 --> 01:26:11,207 Rough winds bla bla bla something. Can't remember. Yada yada yada. 1007 01:26:14,845 --> 01:26:16,373 - I'm sorry 1008 01:26:16,599 --> 01:26:17,723 I'm no Shakespeare - 1009 01:26:19,245 --> 01:26:21,312 my guess Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback, either, right? 1010 01:26:22,596 --> 01:26:25,712 I really wish I had the most perfect and... 1011 01:26:25,819 --> 01:26:26,987 beautiful words in the world to say to you - 1012 01:26:27,203 --> 01:26:30,599 cause if I did I'd say them but... 1013 01:26:30,705 --> 01:26:33,258 I'd tell how great you make me feel when I'm with you. 1014 01:26:34,200 --> 01:26:38,592 And how I love that little thing you do with your nose when you smile. 1015 01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:42,944 How you always correct my stupid grammar. I hate it. 1016 01:26:43,886 --> 01:26:45,414 But most of all - 1017 01:26:46,318 --> 01:26:50,985 I'd tell you that... you make me a better person. 1018 01:26:54,020 --> 01:26:55,683 My own person. 1019 01:26:57,563 --> 01:27:00,973 And that's why I know that this means nothing. 1020 01:27:05,815 --> 01:27:07,666 And you mean everything. 1021 01:27:09,745 --> 01:27:13,869 But hey, I'm just a stupid quarterback. 1022 01:27:14,244 --> 01:27:16,112 I don't know the right words. 1023 01:27:17,871 --> 01:27:19,298 Those were lovely words. 1024 01:27:20,497 --> 01:27:22,622 Perfect words. 1025 01:27:23,227 --> 01:27:25,180 Come here, dumb jock. 1026 01:27:25,660 --> 01:27:27,832 Don't try to stop me, pencil neck. 1027 01:27:31,506 --> 01:27:32,998 Stop that! 1028 01:27:34,938 --> 01:27:36,892 I'm the Homecoming Queen. 1029 01:27:37,583 --> 01:27:39,160 Let's get out of here. 1030 01:27:40,636 --> 01:27:45,337 - I'm the Homecoming Queen. - And you're a bitch! 1031 01:27:47,629 --> 01:27:49,835 Nice ass, baby! How about a little swirl? 1032 01:28:12,271 --> 01:28:15,547 Did I miss this? Did Woody Deanne win? 1033 01:28:22,784 --> 01:28:25,210 Sweet lord! It's the second coming. 1034 01:28:42,239 --> 01:28:45,107 - So, how are we gonna do this? - What? 1035 01:28:45,841 --> 01:28:49,210 You're going to your chicken shit college and me going to Yale. 1036 01:28:53,924 --> 01:28:57,157 You did it. It came this morning. Congratulations! 1037 01:28:57,427 --> 01:28:59,514 What? You got in? 1038 01:29:00,055 --> 01:29:02,631 Oh my god, I did it! 1039 01:29:03,847 --> 01:29:05,124 Me and you done pretty good, huh? 1040 01:29:07,113 --> 01:29:09,132 You and me. 1041 01:29:09,247 --> 01:29:10,689 Or - 1042 01:29:11,038 --> 01:29:12,263 I? 1043 01:29:12,488 --> 01:29:17,086 Will you just kiss me already? Yes, mam. 1044 01:29:19,732 --> 01:29:24,600 (music) James Blunt High 1045 01:29:52,630 --> 01:29:57,963 Woody can I ask you something? - Sure. - What happened to my bush? 1046 01:30:00,317 --> 01:30:03,187 You can not be serious? A year of sabbatical? We're talking about Yale - 1047 01:30:03,411 --> 01:30:06,009 for heavens sake, Yale! 1048 01:30:07,977 --> 01:30:09,878 I know mum. But what the fuck? 1049 01:30:45,823 --> 01:30:47,369 If I may quote Snoop Dog: 1050 01:30:50,131 --> 01:30:51,877 Let's get it started! 1051 01:30:52,562 --> 01:30:56,296 (music) Black Eyed Peas: Let's Get It Started 1052 01:30:56,586 --> 01:30:57,570 Dope, huh? 1053 01:30:57,877 --> 01:30:59,962 See what I'm saying? 1054 01:31:00,181 --> 01:31:03,948 Actually, I'm not sure if this is Snoop - 1055 01:31:04,167 --> 01:31:07,021 it could be One Eyed Peas or 38 Cents. 1056 01:31:09,354 --> 01:31:11,561 I'm down with it anyway, bitch. 81716

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