Original subtitles

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(cheerful music)

(gun fires)

(screaming)

- Yeah! (gun fires)

(orchestral music)

- Oh my God, Gregory, oh my God my baby!

Are you all right, oh say something.

- Mom? - Yes?

What is it my little foof?

- Who's gonna bring the ice cream Mommy?

(ice cream truck music)

- Mom the ice cream man's here, the ice cream man's here!

- [Mom] All right all right lemme get my change.

Roger, I don't want you going into my purse!

- Sorry Mom, won't do it anymore!

- You get back here right now, Roger!

- Ice cream!

Uhm, can I have an Orange Push-Up?

(eerie music)

Hey what's your problem mister?

- You didn't say please.

- Yo man, I could be a grandpa by the time

you get your Push-Up.

- Can I have my Push-Up, please?

- [Kid] Hey Tuna?

- All right give me your change.

- Creamsicle.

- Bomb Pop. - Next.

- Two Creamsicles and a Bomb Pop.

- [Vendor] Try some of the hard-packed, it's pistachio.

- Yo man, I said two Creamsicles and a Bomb Pop,

I don't need nuts, they give me gas.

That new ice cream dude's pretty freaky.

- Maybe he's just different.

- Good ice cream is good ice cream.

Come on Rocketeers, to the park.

- Race ya, girls against boys.

- Last one there is a rotten fart!

- Oh man... (calming music)

(moves into ominous music)

- Girls win!

Hey watch it! - Hey up yours!

You had a head start! - Watch your mouth.

- At least you're not the rotten fart again.

- Hey guys I've been waiting.

- Hey Rocketeer.

- Hey Small Paul.

- You guys got ice cream huh?

- Yeah a Bomb Pop!

- [Small Paul] You always get Bomb Pops.

- They're cool looking.

- Damn!

- Tuna, you're not gonna?

- [Heather] Oh gross, Tuna!

- Anybody want a bite?

- No thanks, most viral contagions are passed through

oral submission.

- Hey Small Paul, what's the book?

- Pied Piper.

- The kids threw pies at him, get him, Pied Piper!

- Hardy-har, Tuna.

- He cleaned the city of rats by enchanting them with music.

- Well obviously he missed one of the big ones.

- He led them to the river and they drowned.

- Then, he got the kids. - What kids?

- From the town, the adults were trying to stiff the piper

for the job he did on the rats.

So instead, the piper led all the kids down to the river,

and drowned them, just like the rats.

That's what happens when you don't pay the piper.

- Uh actually, I think the kids got away.

- [Man] Oh, I thought they all drowned.

- Nah the kids always get away.

- [Man] Kids.

(soft humming)

(ice cream truck music)

(ominous music)

- Ice cream man?

Do you feel okay?

- Yeah little boy, ice cream man feels uh, very happy.

Very, very happy.

- Well, what have we got here, three weary pilgrims

back from a hard days adventure.

- Hi Mr. Langley. - Hey Mr. Langley.

- You okay Tuna?

- [Tuna] Yeah, I just need a rest after carrying

these babies home. - Oh yeah right!

- Heather darling have you worked up an appetite?

- Yes, Dad!

- Well boys if Mrs. Langley and I had known

you were coming we'd have set a place.

- Oh that's all right, we gotta get going.

- Be safe boys, godspeed.

(ice cream truck music)

(humming)

- Hello puppy. (dog barking)

Are we having a bad day?

(ominous music)

(dog whining)

- Who's there?

- Happy day, Nurse Wharton!

- Gregory, did you hear my dog?

- No Nurse Wharton, I did not hear your dog.

- What's that on your nose?

- It's grenadine, from my ice cream treats.

- Well now that's nice Gregory, that's very nice.

I swear I heard Dinky cry.

- Well you know Nurse Wharton, your hearing is not

what it used to be.

I've gotta unpack the truck, the ice cream melts, bye.

- Always such a happy boy, my little Gregory.

(calming music)

- [Gregory] Happy day, little puppy.

They'll love you.

- Did you see this, my son shoots me dead

for going 30 in a 25 zone.

- Hey when I become a cop, there's no more flesh and blood

it's just me and the law.

(emulates gun firing)

- We are very proud of you Jacob.

- Hmm, very proud! - Where's Racer?

- Sorry I'm late I was at Heather's and Tuna's mom

picked me up.

- What kinda name is that, Tuna?

Tuna, Tuna, it's so stupid.

- Now Jacob, Tuna is a very nice boy.

- It's just dumb, I will admit the twerp does stink

like a rotten fish though.

- Hey hey this is not very nice dinner conversation.

Racer, come on eat, here you go.

(phone ringing)

- I got it.

- [Jacob] That is the stupidest thing I ever heard, Tuna.

Honey, what should we name the kid?

Oh Tuna, there's a good name! - Hello, oh hi!

Well no I was just, really? (children bickering)

You're kidding me! - Hey stop it at this table.

- Well maybe he just lost his way home.

- [Jacob] Have some respect at the table you little twerp.

- No, oh Tuna?

- [Dad] Will somebody tell me where I lost control?

- At Marcy's, okay? - Honey will you save me?

- Okay, bye. - The inmates have taken over.

(foreboding music)

- Johnny, did you see little Roger Smith today?

- He was at the park, why?

- Because he hasn't come home yet his mother's worried sick.

- Did she call the police?

- Not yet, Johnny, I don't want you out after

dark anymore okay? - Oh come on!

- In fact Jacob, why don't you and Janet take him

to the movies tomorrow? - This is great.

I'm definitely not going to a G film.

- Be happy, be happy, oh happy happy happy!

Oh happy, happy happy, happy hap!

- Open wide Gregory, Gregory?

Gregory?

Are you all right Gregory?

Rent's due in a couple of days.

- Four gallons?

- Five, and I want Rocky Road.

- I'll make it special Nurse Wharton.

- I'm glad I can watch over you Gregory.

Besides, this old parlor was starting to look like

a lost soul to me.

I do so wish you'd plant them in my yard.

- I will bring the ice cream tomorrow.

- That'll be just fine.

(frolicking music)

- [Jacob] So take the bus back and don't be late,

or Mom will kill me and then I'll have to kill you, okay?

- Yeah yeah no problem.

- [Jacob] Oh yeah, lose some weight fish boy.

- Hey Dad. - Hey, my number one son.

And his tag team. - Yeah, we just saw a movie.

- Oh yeah, what, Target to Kill?

- Sleeping Beauty.

- Oh we'll just have to see that this weekend,

don't tell your mother. (phone ringing)

Martin Cassera.

Hey gorgeous, keeping that oven heated up, it's your mom.

- She's really pretty. - Martin!

But I really wanna see you tonight.

- Yeah I can't wait.

I'll see you tonight then.

Well, Dad's gotta get back to work.

But, ah ah ah, later.

Bye.

- Bye. - Thanks, Dad.

Oh and um, by the way what's Mom cooking in the oven?

- Come on Tuna.

(ice cream truck music)

- We got a missing kid, thought maybe you might've seen

something, little guy never made it home from the park

last night.

- Oh no, have any leads?

- It's classified ice cream man, it's classified.

- Listen all I want you to do is keep your eyes open for us.

- Sure, who am I looking for? - Anything strange.

So how about some of that world-famous hard back

I've been hearing about? - It's Rocky Road today.

- Do me two scoops on a sugar cone.

- It'll be two dollars.

- [Lead Detective] You got a buck I can bum?

Go check with the neighbors...

- Here you go detective, just for you.

- Hey now that's an ice cream cone!

Hmm, what's in it?

- [Gregory] It's classified officer, classified.

- Oh you're a quick one, ice cream man, you're a quick one.

- What do you think officer?

- [Detective] Don't worry about it lady we'll find your boy.

- Can we buy you an ice cream? - No thanks.

- Can we buy you an ice cream?

- What I was trying to cheer her up.

(frolicking music)

(sultry music)

- Ladies first.

My, I'd like to buy a gallon of your hard pack?

Do you deliver?

- No.

- 149, that cute little house right over there.

Come anytime.

(blowing raspberries)

Charming, 149.

- Man she stinks. - Oh you should talk.

- I wonder how many whales they killed

to make all that perfume.

- They don't kill whales for perfume anymore.

- Next. - What, whales and perfume?

- Next!

- Um, three hard packs and a Bomb Pop.

- Make mine a Fudgcicle.

- Yeah and make mine a hard pack.

- Risky of you.

- Uhm, all right, three hard packs and a Fudgcicle.

- Plain, sugar, or a new waffle cone?

- Uhm, sugar. - Sugar.

- I'll have plain.

- Actually, make mine plain too.

- Any other alterations?

(muttering)

(ominous music)

Three hard packs, and your Fudgcicle.

- [Small Paul] Last one on the hill is a smelly fart.

- Oh man...

(ice cream truck music)

- [Woman] 149...

- There are no bad days, Gregory, only happy,

happy, happy days.

(anticipatory music)

Now, what kind of day are you having Gregory?

- Uh guys I'm gonna go in alone okay?

- Can we play tomorrow?

- Yeah, yeah. - All right.

- I'll see you guys later okay?

- All right, later.

(ominous music)

(incoherent screaming)

- Heather, Heather, come quickly!

The Archangel Gabriel's speaking through your mother again.

Heather?

- Hey you know, Heather's been acting a lot weirder

around her mom lately.

- Well her father being a minister, all the more

they just talk about God.

- No but that's not it, it's just, I don't know,

she's just, acting weird.

- Anybody for ice cream. (ice cream truck music)

- Nah, we just had ice cream.

- Can you ever have too much ice cream?

- [Tuna] Impossible.

- Nah, I gotta get home, my mom's gonna kill me.

- Come into my house with Small Paul and me.

- I gotta get home.

- Tuna?

- Ah, my mom certainly gets mad about all the ice cream

I spill on my shirts.

- Last one there is a string of squint snot!

- What, now Small Paul's trying to pin the rotten egg on me.

I'll see if I ever invite you to my birthday party.

- What, I didn't do anything.

(foreboding music)

- [Small Paul] Hello?

- Oh, well well.

What do we have here, want some ice cream?

- [Small Paul] Uhm, uhm, maybe not.

It's too close to dinner.

- Ah come on, what's your favorite flavor.

Oh no wait wait let me guess, let me guess,

don't say anything, I uh, it's uhm, I can taste it!

Butter Brickie.

- How'd you know that?

- Because it's my favorite flavor too.

(foreboding music)

- Wow.

- You like my ice cream truck?

- Yeah, I never saw the insides before.

- You know, it's hard to meet friends when you're always

stuck on the inside.

- I know, I had to stay inside a lot when I was little.

Because I was really sick.

That's why I'm so small.

- You know, I was sick too when I was little.

But I'm better now.

Here you go!

- Wow, I don't think I have enough money for that.

- My treat.

(ominous music)

Hey little boy, you want some free ice cream?

Ah this little fella got hurt, I'm gonna take him

to the hospital.

(anticipatory music) Hey!

Hey, hey hey!

You little turds are gonna have to learn

you can't run from the ice cream man,

I know where you live, you tell anybody,

I'm gonna get your mom and dad!

- Who's that?

What's the matter?

How long have you been here?

- All night.

The ice cream man, he...

He, he, he killed the park guy!

- He killed Small Paul.

- So what do we do?

- My dad will know what to do.

- He's out there.

- I'll follow you to your house, and go through

the backyards to let you to mine, come on.

- I drove by the bank an hour ago and the whole place

was shut up, dark as a tomb.

- [Martin] So, I drove by the bar after I got off,

what of it?

- Oh so now the story changes to you left work on time,

but you hung out at a bar for four hours?

Mister, shoes on the porch, you know the rules.

- [Martin] No, I worked late and then I got one at the bar.

- Mom, I saw-- - Come on Marion!

Just admit it, you think I'm seeing someone else.

- Think, I know you're seeing somebody else Martin,

come on Martin, who is it, tell me.

- Let's not do this again.

- Dad I--

- Not now, Chris, go to your room!

- But Dad!

- I said go to your room.

I knew you'd had problems with my longer hours.

- Come on, why don't you just admit it, stop working

the facade.

- [Martin] How many times we gotta go through this.

- To hell with you.

- Oh sure that'll solve everything huh, to hell with me?

Come over here, don't walk away from me.

You know Marion, I got news for you, and I know,

that you're gonna think...

(ice cream truck music)

What the hell is that ice cream dork doing out this late?

- Come on Tuna let's go, we gotta make it to the store

and back before my pinochle game.

- All right all right, I'm coming.

- Well let's go then.

God Tuna you can make a mess, go find another pair,

come on let's go.

(ominous music)

Hey Sam.

- Morning Miss Cassera, nice to see you.

Here you go, thanks honey.

(foreboding music)

(ominous music)

- Mom!

- Oh oh excuse me, what do you think of this color.

I don't know either, I mean according to my color charts

it should work, but last time I followed those I ended up

looking like a clown spotted with cherry syrup.

- Cherry syrup is good, looks good on you, get a dozen!

(ominous music)

Where's the fatty?

- It's okay little fella, I'm not gonna hurt you.

- What on earth do you suppose he was running from?

- I don't know.

- Well maybe you should go in and talk with him,

I'm sure once you do that we can get to the bottom of this.

By the way, you're not gonna take this to court are you?

- Chris what happened.

Oh honey I'm here.

Don't worry now come on tell me what happened.

Chris, unless you tell me what happened,

Mommy can't help you.

- He said he'd kill you if I told.

- What, who said that?

- The ice cream man.

He killed Small Paul last night.

- Oh my God, oh honey.

(anticipatory music)

- Nice to see you again officers.

- You Gregory Tudor? - Yes, yes I am.

- Give him the warrant.

- Can I keep this?

- You got any large dogs, ice cream man?

- No.

Why the search officers?

- [Detective] I want you go through everything,

you find any hollowed doors or floors,

bust 'em open, you got it?

- Yes sir.

- Hell I remember getting ice cream here when I was a kid.

Who was the guy who owned it?

- Brickie, Butch Brickie.

- Oh yeah the Ice Cream King.

It's nice to see somebody's opening the place up again.

Well sounds like we're missing out on all the fun.

- Oh, that, that, hey, hey!

Could you search a little, uh, more careful please.

More careful?

Hey uhm...

This is a collect able.

- Jesus, hate to get my hand caught in that.

- I use it to chop nuts.

- Did you find, did you find anything?

- [Officer] There's nothing down here sir.

- Do you realize how long it takes to make Butter Brickie?

(machinery whirring) (hallowed music)

- [Lead Detective] Well ice cream man, we're sorry,

we didn't find anything.

- Are you sorry you didn't find anything and wrecked my

place, or are you just sorry you didn't find anything.

- You boys have the wrong house, I'm the one with

the missing dog. - Whoa, hold it, hold it.

- Where were you last night around six?

- He was here, working to pay his rent.

Why are you bothering this poor boy.

I'm the one with the missing dog.

- Who are you?

- I'm Nurse Wharton, Gregory's landlord,

neighbor and guardian, serve and protect my ass.

- You have to understand, the people get pretty uptight

when there's a missing child involved.

- But I'm the ice cream man.

I make children happy.

Today you ruined the happiness of those children

for many days to come.

Do you understand the consequences?

- You know I never thought about it like that.

- Yeah I bet you didn't.

- You call this number tomorrow, tell 'em what happened.

I'm sure that the city is gonna help you.

- What about my dog?

- You know, those daisies are magnificent,

how do you do that?

- Actually I chop up policemen and use 'em as fertilizer,

they make great fertilizer.

- You know, there's something weird going on here.

Get some background on that guy.

- You got a hunch?

- I might, let's put a tail on him anyway.

- You know, I'm sure your dog is around here somewhere.

- That's very sweet of you Gregory, you have a happy day.

- Remember, no bad days Gregory, only happy,

happy happy days! (foreboding music)

- Oh no, don't don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you.

What do you think little boy?

- Are you having a bad day?

- Yeah, you're right.

Not every day is a happy happy happy day.

Ice cream professor?

- Butter Brickie.

- He's gotta keep quiet.

- Suffer little children, Jesus, so wisely admonished

his disciples on the coasts of Judea, suffer not to come

onto thee, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Always remember that neither death nor power,

nor hate, nor any creature shall be able

to separate us from the love of God which eternally rests

in Christ, Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Let us pray.

- I told the police everything, they'll get him.

- Yeah but I'm still grounded for a month.

- Hey don't worry, there might be an opening

in the Rocketeers. - Hey guys, let's go.

(foreboding music)

- Small Paul's dead.

(ice cream truck music)

- [Johnny] No one else seems to think anything's wrong.

- [Tuna] But how could they let him go?

- All I know, is I'm not letting him get us.

All the grown-ups worry about their stupid problems.

- What we need to do, is catch him on film.

- Since when do kids go trailing murderers?

We're just kids we'll get killed, just like Small Paul.

- Look Tuna, I know you've been through a lot more

than we have but we gotta do something.

- Why why is it up to us, why can't we just stay

in our backyards and just keep away from him.

- Because we're the Rocketeers and we stick together.

- We're doing this. - The three of us.

- We'll need a camera, we can take a picture of him

and give it to the police.

- Hang on I think I can get one.

(emulating bird squawking)

- That was a bird? - I can't do bird calls.

- But you said you could!

- But I don't wanna look stupid.

- I got news for you. - Shut up!

- Ssshht, I can hear you guys all the way in the backyard,

let's go!

(foreboding music)

Okay guys it's 11:45, we've been out for 35 minutes.

- Let's take a break.

- You know, maybe the ice cream man thinks he's

the Pied Piper.

- [Tuna] Huh?

- Well he drives around in his truck playing the music,

and all the kids come running.

But then if he catches one of them alone--

- Yeah well uhm, let's not talk about right now.

- Get down!

Let's go.

- [Johnny} Come on Tuna!

(foreboding music)

- Tuna, come on!

- Where the hell is he going? - Ssshh!

Small Paul!

- I wanna go back, I wanna go back!

What's he doing to Small Paul?

- [Johnny] I don't know, I can't tell, what is it?

- It's...

It's ice cream.

- I'm fixing up a little party for you.

Yeah you're gonna like this one (laughs).

Looks like you got a lot of friends.

I didn't know how much ice cream to bring,

you can pass it out later.

I'm doing really good.

Yeah, they love ice cream.

It's gonna be a good summer.

Hey would you mind your business, I'm talking to somebody.

You guys having a party?

You having a happy, happy day?

It sure is getting noisy around here.

- Butch Brickie, Ice Cream King.

- Let's go. - Okay.

(hallowed music)

- [Gregory] 149.

- I lost track of Tuna, we'd better get back.

- You go.

- What? - I'll be fine.

Just gimme your bike so I can have a rocket.

- I don't think so.

- Don't worry, I'm a Rocketeer.

Just make sure Tuna didn't fall or something.

Meet me back here, all right, and hurry.

(anticipatory, eerie music)

- Tuna you okay?

- No!

- What's wrong?

- My sides are killing me and I feel like I wanna puke.

Hey where's Heather?

- I left her back at the ice cream truck.

- Small Paul?

(screaming)

- Holy shit, the kid's got a gun!

This isn't a game boys, there's a child stalker out there

and you two are playing cops and robbers.

- But what about Heather she's gonna die,

the ice cream man's got her!

- I've already called it in, there's someone already

on the way to her house.

- Her house, she's not at her house!

- Hey!

You guys wanna end up on the milk carton?

- I'm sorry to disturb you Reverend Langley,

but we had a report that your daughter Heather was missing.

- No she's tucked away in bed, has been all night.

What's the matter Charles?

- I hate to do this sir, but could you please check on her?

(foreboding music)

- She's sleeping like a baby.

Come to church on Sunday Charles,

I'm giving a sermon on trust.

- Damn!

- [Woman] The Langley girl is fine, sleeping like a baby.

- 10-4.

- Look boys, enough of these stories.

- [Tuna] But--

- First the ice cream man kills the Weatherly boy,

and now the Langley girl?

I mean we've had it up to here.

- When do you want 'em? - It says one hour.

- You could get hard duplicates, or you could our

eight hour service for,

10, it depends on how many exposures come out.

- I need those immediately.

- Four by six oversize, is?

14 bucks, three by five regular?

- How soon?

- [Attendant] One hour.

14 bucks, one day,

12.

- Back in an hour.

(faint ice cream truck music)

(hallowed music)

The ice cream man is like the Pied Piper, only evil.

- [Tuna] What?

- You know he drives around in this truck,

temping all the kids, and they follow him.

And slowly he gets rids of them, like rats.

- Hah, another!

- Lovely, we only need 10 dollars worth of quarters,

then we can pick up the film.

- [Johnny] I think we got it!

- Oh yeah! - Johnny!

What the hell are you doing with my camera?

Where's the film?

I'll start with you?

Where's the film? - Oh here.

- Let's go, come on I got it, let's go!

(upbeat twinkling music)

(anticipatory music)

- Hey, get that hunk of junk outta here.

Hey, hey ice cream man!

Come on let's go, I'm in a hurry here.

Go, come on this isn't a parking lot.

Hey, ice cream man!

(screaming) - This is not a hunk of junk!

(door knocking)

- Well hello.

If I had known this was delivery day,

why that stand in would've never made it through the door.

- I brought you something special.

- Oh, sounds yummy.

You know, we should swap recipes,

Creamsicle for custard pie.

(screaming)

- Well I check out ice cream man, couldn't find squat.

But that weird lady with the dog.

I remember she was just as flipped as he was.

- [Detective] You're talking about the nurse.

- Yeah Nurse Wharton.

I called and checked on her nursing license,

she had a career from 1950 to 1993.

Spent the last 20 at some private clinic called

Wishing Well, for the mentally disturbed.

- I can't believe those little perverts,

what the hell were they doing developing my pictures.

- [Janet] Oh my God!

- I'm gonna kill those bastards.

(screaming)

- You know, this is the whole secret to making ice cream.

It's this kinda secret ingredient I put in it.

Here come on let's go put it in.

You gotta just dump a little bit of this stuff in.

Makes it sweet, see, you gotta just put a little bit in,

it's the, special amount you put in.

Now, the trick is, is stirring it in just right.

Would you like to stir?

- Yeah.

- All right, here you go.

Oh now watch your hand, that blade,

that blade will take your hand right off.

(giggling)

There you go.

Cool!

- Do you really think your brother's gonna pick up

those pictures without looking at them?

- I don't know, he's stupid enough.

(ominous music)

- Well what happens if he's not (gasps)?

Geez what are you, stupid?

- Did you see the truck? - No.

I gotta get home.

If my mom finds out I snuck out again--

- We'll ride with you.

- I'll be fine. - We're riding with you.

- Yeah, things aren't the same as they used to be

around here, more patients have died,

and some pockets dried up.

Hmm, of course when you die, you'll dry up.

- Why all the plastic flowers?

- Because real ones die.

We want happy patients.

- So do you do shock therapy lobotomy,

like that Cuckoo movie?

- Oh, we believe in keeping our patients happy.

We believe in compassion.

- [Man] Help me!

- Shut up!

- You remember a Nurse Wharton?

- Do I, oh oh oh!

Hell everybody did!

- What was it that everybody liked so much

about Nurse Wharton?

- She gave everybody ice cream, when the pain

and the loneliness came, she cared for the patient.

Gregory was her favorite.

- Gregory?

Gregory Tudor?

- [Man] Oh God, do something!

- Anthony's getting out of hand.

I must ask you two to leave.

This is not a happy day.

(laughing) (frolicking music)

(maniacal laughing) (soft singing)

- Oh my God. (foreboding music)

- Remember, only happy days.

- A bad day gentlemen, a very bad day!

Ha ha ha, come out come out wherever you are,

come out come out wherever you are,

come out come out wherever you are.

- Only happy days. (ominous music)

Only happy days.

- Let's get outta here, I'll report it to

the county sheriffs, this isn't our jurisdiction.

- Go get (mumbling).

- All right I'll meet you at the car.

(maniacal laughing) (ominous music)

- No one leaves the Wishing Well, doctor's orders!

(laughing) (ominous music)

(growling) (scuffling)

- Ah, they're everywhere!

Cloverdale, this is Detective Maldwyn, Riverside PD.

Emergency, repeat, emergency!

- Go ahead detective. (gun fires)

(glass shattering)

- Yeah we're at the Wishing Well hospital,

get some people down here quick.

- [Woman] Do you have an address on the Wishing Well?

- Get off of me, get off of me!

Stay, get in!

Come on let's get outta here.

Get away, go!

- Come on Tuna! - Be quiet.

I'm moving as fast as I can.

- That's your fastest? - Shut up!

- No you shut up!

(screaming)

Oh crap! - Back to the Johnny's!

Go, hurry up! - Hurry, hurry!

Don't stop peadling!

He's gonna run us over, go!

- Patrolling for Tuna.

You're ice cream.

(eerie music) (muffled screaming)

- Okay pump it. (car engine revving)

One more time. (car engine revving)

Good, all right shut it off.

- Jacob, Jacob, call the police, call the police,

the ice cream man just got Tuna!

- Calm down, calm down, we can't call the police.

- Call the--

- You're the guys who cried wolf.

Look, besides we don't have any evidence,

and obviously either do the police,

or they would have him by now, so,

this is my chance to mess him up.

- Come on, we gotta do something.

- Cut the Lone Ranger shit, you're not a police officer.

- Janet, I got the gun, the badge will follow.

- Oh no. - Listen.

You guys, you're gonna get in the car all right,

anything goes wrong, all you have to do is call in

the radio, you call in for backup all right.

- Hurry! - All right.

- Look I think we should just call the police.

- No look let's just go help the fat kid

while there's still time, get in the car,

please I need you to look after these two.

- There's still no sign of Charlie or Gus?

- [Woman] No word.

- Well get some backup over at the ice cream parlor.

And keep trying to reach those officers.

- Who is he?

- The King.

- Yes. - He's like the Pied Piper.

Chases away all the bad, and leaves a world of good.

- Yes!

- Now it's illegal to use this channel unless you're PD,

so nobody calls in unless it's an emergency, okay?

Now this is serious.

I want you all to stay in the car no matter what,

you hear shots or screams or anything funny;,

you press the button, you radio it in,

and then you hit my alarm okay?

It sounds like a police siren.

- Be careful.

- Sounds like we got a customer, come on!

I'll be right back.

- What's he doing? - I don't know.

But he'd better get the hell outta there soon!

Come on Jacob.

- Hiya honey!

(screaming) (anticipatory music)

Now that's what I call a brain freeze.

Creamsicle?

This is gonna be fun.

- Come on!

Come on!

(screaming)

- Wait!

(screaming)

- How are we gonna get outta here?

- I know, we'll find a way, we'll find a way outta here.

- [Gregory] Psst, hey kids, over here, I'm a cop!

What are you doing running from the ice cream man.

Don't you know that he slaves day and night

to make his treats for you?

It's like Big Ice always said, you can't always find

a sweet kid, but you can make a kid sweet!

(screaming)

- Come on, please, come on!

- Hey kids don't you know there's a curfew?

Kids, always getting in trouble.

Kinda makes your head spin.

Yeah, looks like yours spun right off!

Boy, I didn't know you cops had such a hardy sense of humor.

That's us, hardy.

Good humor!

(laughing)

Shut up, you're not funny.

(anticipatory music)

- [Heather] I can't get over it!

- Don't you know you can't run from the long arm of the law?

- Oh shit, oh shit! - Come on!

- Hey Frank, you can't just jump on women,

you gotta take it slow, charm 'em.

I guess two heads aren't better than one.

- Where do we go? - There.

- Hey guys!

- Gregory?

What's all this infernal racket?

- Sorry Nurse Wharton.

Some of the neighborhood kids wanted to play

hide and seek, I told 'em it was too late but they...

- Oh my little Gregor always so kind to the little children.

- We'll try to be more quiet.

- Okay, good luck.

- What are we gonna do. - Ssshh, just stay quiet.

- He's gonna get us, he's gonna get us

just like everybody else. - No!

There's somebody in there. - Let's get help!

(anticipatory music)

- Hurry, open up, open up! - Open, please, hurry up!

- What is all this noise?

- He's after us. - The ice cream man!

- Oh my, quick, quick we'll have to hide you, come on.

Come on inside quickly, hide and seek, hide and seek.

- [Man] We're over at the Spodak house, we have a report

of three missing kids now.

- I don't give a damn.

Warrant or not we're going in.

(anticipatory music)

- You kids don't wanna play with the ice cream man?

You like his treats, but you don't stick by him

when he needs you?

Oh who died and made you prince?

What, are you trying to run?

No, you can't run from the ice cream man.

If you do that, you won't get any ice cream.

- [Maldwyn] Hey!

Freeze, I mean it!

- Kiddo, you want some ice cream?

Yeah how about some ice cream huh?

Yeah you like that.

This one's mine.

- [Gifford] You keep that kid visible at all times.

- Let me see the kid!

- [Gregory] I hate the term blueberry man.

- Check the back.

- Well, where was 1?

- Psst, Gregory. - Ah, my little twin pops.

- No he'll kill us! (screaming)

- Gregory wins hide and seek, Gregory wins!

(screaming)

- Gregory! - Butch?

Butch Brickie?

Ice cream man?

- Now Gregory, you're going to be with us

a very long time, and I want you to get something straight,

there are no bad days here at Wishing Well,

only happy days, what kind of a day are you having Gregory?

- Gregory?

(screaming)

- It's a happy day.

Thanks ice cream man.

Happy, happy day.

(screaming) (ominous music)

- Who's the Pied Piper now ice cream dick?

(calming music)

- Did you find my dog?

- [Tuna] Small Paul!

- Where's Gregory?

(calming music)

- Hi Johnny.

Hey guys. - Hey.

- Hi.

- Woo. - Oh thanks.

You ready?

Let's do it.

- All right.

- Wow.

- All right, yeah! - Welcome to you.

- So where's Small Paul?

- Where else?

- Therapy.

(ominous music)

(ice cream truck music)

(funky music)