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Throughout history, humans have
had a primal instinct to hunt,
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00:00:48,364 --> 00:00:51,284
to compete, to dominate.
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00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,501
Initially, survival was a
daily necessity.
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00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:56,339
Kill or be killed.
There was no choice.
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00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,090
And through these battles,
through all the aggression
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00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:02,426
against the opposition,
a respect developed.
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00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:04,962
An unexpected camaraderie was born.
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00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:07,100
And around the world,
brotherhoods were forged.
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00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:11,971
But now that we're civilized
and spoiled
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00:01:12,388 --> 00:01:13,971
by the luxuries of the modern world,
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00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:16,524
those instincts have been dulled.
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00:01:16,526 --> 00:01:19,644
However, that primal need
to dominate remains.
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00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,781
Even today, people around
the world need an outlet,
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00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,315
an arena to crush the competition.
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00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:25,652
And I'm not talking
about fantasy football.
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00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,537
I'm talking about real competition.
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00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,707
Blood, sweat, and beer.
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00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:34,492
This is the story about my
group of friends.
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00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,494
And for the last 20 years,
we found that outlet
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00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,998
to unleash our need to conquer,
to win,
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00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,965
to be crowned king,
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00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:43,886
and to ruthlessly demoralize
our best buddies.
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00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:51,225
But at the end of the day,
we are lifelong friends,
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00:01:51,227 --> 00:01:53,763
and nothing could come
between our brotherhood.
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00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:59,734
Well, almost nothing.
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00:02:32,518 --> 00:02:33,853
Where are you?
27
00:02:34,103 --> 00:02:36,055
Oh, okay.
28
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:48,284
Oh, okay. Get some.
29
00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:51,320
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
30
00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:55,990
Fuck you!
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00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:57,708
Fuck!
32
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,545
Damn it!
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00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,169
Ow! Fuck!
Aaah! Aaah! Stop!
34
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,839
Fucking stop shooting!
Aaah!
35
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,143
Too much!
36
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,645
Oh, fuck.
37
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,899
Yeah!
38
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,861
Who's the king?
You're the king!
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00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:35,364
I want to say a couple words here.
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00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,865
I should not be standing here
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00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:39,867
collecting another championship,
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00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,871
but I am, thanks to guys like Doc.
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00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,791
I had you, Shelly.
I had you.
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00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:46,676
You had me dead in the
fucking water,
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00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,928
I did, Shelly.
Right there by the tree stump,
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00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:52,012
and then you... What happened?
You panicked, right? You spazzed out?
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00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,517
That is a good quality
in a doctor, you must admit.
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00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,384
Your patients are very lucky.
We'll let it go, and Zane...
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00:03:57,386 --> 00:04:00,104
That's my name!
"In Zane" in the membrane.
50
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:03,276
You idiot.
You're such an idiot.
51
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,609
This fucking guy!
52
00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:07,980
And, Durfy, I was really
hoping you'd win, Man.
53
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:11,567
Oh, thank you. 'Cause I wanted
to go down on the champion.
54
00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:14,537
Since I'm the champion,
you can go down on me.
55
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,707
Yeah, I'll start now.
Ooh! Ooh, ooh!
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00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,494
It's "ding!" Like a bullet off
Superman. That's what that was.
57
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:24,213
Where's big Bob?
Big Bob! Bobfather!
58
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,081
Yes!
The man we owe it all to.
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00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,884
The man who put
all this shit together.
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00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:32,136
Bobby, thank you. I love you,
Brother. Love you too, Buddy.
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00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:35,725
And last but not least,
Dixon Bender "Like Beckham."
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00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:39,093
Get over here, Bender.
Bender,
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00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:41,595
I, uh, I've won, uh,
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00:04:41,597 --> 00:04:44,098
six championships in six years.
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00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,100
What do you have to say about that?
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00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:48,354
Well, Shelly, I...
Oh, we're all out of time.
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00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:51,107
So sorry, Bender.
Love you, Bobby!
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00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,526
Whoo!
I need a beer.
69
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,444
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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00:04:55,945 --> 00:04:59,947
Bender, I'm sorry, Man.
I'm sorry about earlier.
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00:04:59,949 --> 00:05:02,449
I was just trying to make sure
you were actually dead, you know.
72
00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:05,452
Well, you did. You shot me,
like, 30 times, Shelly.
73
00:05:05,454 --> 00:05:07,456
Thirty times. You painted a
fucking house. Yeah.
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00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:08,958
It hurt.
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00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:10,958
Aw, sweet, sweet Bender.
Come on.
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00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,463
Come on over here.
You didn't deserve that.
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00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,964
I'll never do it again, okay?
All right.
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00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,467
You hear me?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:21,468
'Cause you are the toughest
son of a bitch I know,
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00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:24,273
and you wear your heart
on your shoe.
81
00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:26,058
Aaah! Fuck!
82
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,066
You can be such an asshole, Dude.
Fuck!
83
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:35,902
You're 33?
Yeah.
84
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:39,405
Wow! You're so good looking
for an older guy.
85
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,156
Yeah! Totally.
I am not.
86
00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,576
Yeah, you are.
No, I'm not.
87
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:44,994
You look like a movie star.
88
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:46,462
You seriously think
I look like a movie star?
89
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:47,964
Yeah, totally!
90
00:05:48,464 --> 00:05:50,416
You're hot!
Wow, thank you!
91
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,753
What do you do?
Oh, I operate a backhoe.
92
00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:57,254
I dig a lot of, uh,
sewer mains and cesspools.
93
00:05:57,256 --> 00:06:01,677
It's, uh, anywhere where waste
generally dissipates into the soil.
94
00:06:02,178 --> 00:06:05,014
Like poo? Oh.
Mm-hmm.
95
00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:07,650
Pretty good job.
96
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,190
Your grandparents let you
throw parties like this here?
97
00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:15,691
Yeah. Yeah.
Really?
98
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:18,694
Well, every summer, last 15 years.
99
00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:21,781
Oh, my...
Hello! Who's this beautiful lady?
100
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:24,083
Hi, I'm Tiff.
Tiff?
101
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:25,916
Tiff, do you know who this is?
102
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,286
That's Bob.
This is Bob.
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00:06:27,536 --> 00:06:29,620
Bob is the bestest,
sweetest son of a bitch
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00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,624
in the whole, wide world.
Are you gonna kiss me on the lips?
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00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,124
I'm gonna kiss you right on your
lips, you big, handsome...
106
00:06:34,126 --> 00:06:36,963
You guys should kiss.
I love this guy.
107
00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:39,131
Okay. Nikki calls.
108
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:40,967
Jesus Christ.
109
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:44,303
Careful...
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00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,939
Hey, who's got my bucket?
111
00:06:47,139 --> 00:06:49,223
There you are, Baby.
112
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:51,143
Sheldon Baldinger.
113
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,527
Why, Nikki Baldinger?
Hi, Wifey.
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00:06:53,529 --> 00:06:55,364
I think it's time
we have a little chat.
115
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,984
Yeah?
What do you want to talk about?
116
00:06:58,150 --> 00:07:01,235
I think it's time for my big,
strong champion
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00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:05,122
to take his trophy...
Inside.
118
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:08,158
Shelly! Shelly! We got a sleeper.
Right there. Dude.
119
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,880
Mark did a bunch of absinthe.
He's basically in a coma.
120
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,163
So fire up the nut sac.
121
00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,001
Time for the old meat goggles.
122
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,554
Rain check, Babe. I'm sorry.
I can't disappoint my fans.
123
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,924
Whoo!
Who wants some balls and gravy?
124
00:07:25,094 --> 00:07:28,012
Balls! Balls! Balls!
Balls! Balls! Balls!
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00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,346
Ugh.
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00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,149
Unbelievable.
Look at this guy.
127
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:35,321
Why do I do this? Every year,
I get dragged down to these things.
128
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:38,322
Bunch of grown men
acting like teenage chimps.
129
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:41,659
Yeah, they're animals.
130
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:45,496
Poor Mark's passed out. Now he has
balls smeared all over his forehead.
131
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,450
He's a schoolteacher.
132
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,753
It's a good thing
Mark's students aren't here.
133
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:53,087
All he cares about is work
134
00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:56,008
and beating his buddies at the Buddy
Games, especially you, Bender.
135
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:57,760
I haven't showered for three days!
136
00:07:58,094 --> 00:08:00,177
Why don't you teach him a lesson?
137
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,680
From us. Come on.
It'll be fun.
138
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,685
What, shoot him? I can't do that.
Okay.
139
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,138
Two for one.
Two nuts, one guy.
140
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:12,141
Look familiar, Bender?
141
00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,528
What if I did?
Yeah, do it.
142
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,396
Left hook. Uppercut.
143
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,148
Body blow. Aaah!
144
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:20,948
What?
145
00:08:20,950 --> 00:08:22,785
Shel! Shelly!
146
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,822
Bender, you fucked him up
real good, Man.
147
00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,625
Jesus Christ,
what am I looking at?
148
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,428
What's going on?
Nothing.
149
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,765
You know, I was doing the math
150
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,598
on how many years
we've been coming here,
151
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,017
and it's five years of Sundays.
I know.
152
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,902
She's making the same casserole.
153
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:00,404
Oh, God.
154
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:02,356
My mom really appreciates it though.
155
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,776
And I appreciate you
for coming with me.
156
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,692
I was thinking that maybe we could
157
00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:08,664
add something to the Sunday routine.
Like what?
158
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,450
I'm just gonna keep sliding down
the counter until you figure it out.
159
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,369
We could see how we like that.
160
00:09:15,871 --> 00:09:18,374
Yeah. You want to do it right here?
161
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,885
You want to add something
to the Sunday routine?
162
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:45,151
I'm staring at a picture of myself
as a child staring back at me.
163
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,119
It's horrifying.
164
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:50,623
Oh, God!
165
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,461
Okay, my buns are warm.
166
00:09:55,961 --> 00:09:57,795
Bless your heart!
167
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,130
Oh, I always forget
to heat those up.
168
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:03,002
Not a big deal.
I mean, look at your casserole.
169
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,386
Isn't it good today?
Oh...
170
00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,503
Did you do something different
this time? No.
171
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,056
No, you baked a pie.
How am I gonna compete with you?
172
00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:10,476
Oh, I bought that pie, Sweetie.
173
00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:12,342
Bill hates my pie.
174
00:10:12,344 --> 00:10:13,844
What? What's that?
175
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,846
I said, you hate my pie.
176
00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:18,767
Oh, yeah.
Store pie's better.
177
00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:21,185
You know, I always think
that pie is pie.
178
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,686
You know, as long as it's warm
179
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,157
and lots of whipped cream,
you know.
180
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,407
Mmm.
Bob loves my pie, right?
181
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:30,196
I do love your pie. Very much.
Yeah, Bob loves my pie.
182
00:10:30,446 --> 00:10:32,448
Sounds like you guys
are talking about vagina.
183
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:33,916
Oh, Bill!
What?
184
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:37,284
Oh, good Lord!
I know what you meant.
185
00:10:37,286 --> 00:10:39,586
No, we were actually
talking about vagina.
186
00:10:39,588 --> 00:10:41,505
No, we weren't.
Oh, stop it.
187
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:46,679
Bobby, when are you
gonna marry this girl?
188
00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:48,378
Mom, please.
189
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,797
Peas?
No, Dad. I don't want peas.
190
00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:52,799
I want grandbabies,
for goodness sake.
191
00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:55,104
I know you want grandbabies.
You say that every weekend.
192
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:57,273
What are you guys waiting for?
Mother...
193
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,026
Mary Ann Baldinger?
194
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,395
Uh, give me one second.
195
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,232
Why don't you take him away
somewhere romantic?
196
00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,653
Mrs. Baldinger. This is a surprise.
How are you?
197
00:11:11,036 --> 00:11:14,073
Not so good, Bobby.
Sheldon needs you. Now.
198
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,409
We're at Silver Linings.
Silver Linings? Like, the rehab?
199
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,079
Yes. I'll explain when you get here.
Come now.
200
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:24,967
I'm sorry, you guys.
I have to run. What?
201
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,967
Is everything okay?
Yeah, I'll see you back at the house.
202
00:11:26,969 --> 00:11:29,305
Do you want me to go with you?
Nope. You enjoy yourselves.
203
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,509
Eat your casserole.
I can...
204
00:11:36,011 --> 00:11:38,013
Okay. Okay.
205
00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:49,775
What?
206
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,160
What is going on?
207
00:11:53,162 --> 00:11:54,663
Shouldn't his wife be here?
Where's Nikki?
208
00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,030
Nikki?
The bitch filed for divorce,
209
00:11:57,032 --> 00:12:00,417
sold the shares back to the
investors, and moved to Jamaica.
210
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,338
What?
211
00:12:02,671 --> 00:12:05,124
He is in a dark, dark place, Bobby.
212
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:08,008
Sheldon's a good boy.
Do you know what it's like
213
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:11,013
watching your boy wasting away
in front of your eyes?
214
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,465
I can't even imagine, Mrs. B.
I am so sorry.
215
00:12:13,849 --> 00:12:15,351
I need you to do something
for me.
216
00:12:15,684 --> 00:12:16,719
Yeah, anything. You name it.
217
00:12:17,102 --> 00:12:18,187
Get the boys back together.
218
00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:20,139
Yeah. Whatever you need.
We'll take him out,
219
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,024
maybe go on a vacation.
No.
220
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,891
His counselor said Sheldon
needs something to live for.
221
00:12:24,893 --> 00:12:27,780
He needs a win.
He needs those games.
222
00:12:28,063 --> 00:12:29,148
The Buddy Games?
Yeah.
223
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,648
No. No, no, no.
224
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,150
That's... That's not gonna happen.
225
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,571
I'm not asking.
I'm telling.
226
00:12:35,904 --> 00:12:37,988
If you have any compassion
in your soul whatsoever,
227
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,825
you will do this for my boy.
228
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,128
Oh, don't be a pussy.
229
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,831
You were always a leader of men.
230
00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:47,549
What did the boys used to
call you?
231
00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:52,338
The Bobfather.
And why did they call you that?
232
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,174
Because I was their leader.
233
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,009
Exactly.
234
00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,261
Now, you rally those troops.
235
00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:02,014
Shake. All right.
All right.
236
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,516
Oh, you're a good boy, Bobby.
237
00:13:06,902 --> 00:13:07,936
God...
238
00:13:09,938 --> 00:13:12,441
Whoop. Excuse me.
Hey, Bob.
239
00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:18,280
Shelly?
240
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,916
What are you doing here, Bob?
241
00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:24,003
Holy shit! What...
Uh, you look...
242
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,754
Like a runway model?
243
00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:27,673
You know...
244
00:13:29,258 --> 00:13:30,843
Why are you here, Bob?
Uh...
245
00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:34,296
Uh, could we go talk someplace
a little more private?
246
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,683
Sure. Just let Bruce finish first.
247
00:13:37,966 --> 00:13:39,351
You hungry, Fella?
248
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,134
I know it feels like
he's taking stuff off,
249
00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:42,971
but he's actually putting
things on your head.
250
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:51,194
Mmm!
What, you got cocaine in here?
251
00:13:51,196 --> 00:13:52,646
How the fuck did you get
cocaine in here?
252
00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:54,450
Crushed-up SweeTARTS.
253
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,233
Desperate times, Brother.
254
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:59,903
So, uh, I don't see you for years,
255
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,408
and then you just show up
on my doorstep like this.
256
00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:03,909
Uh, you don't see me for y...
257
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,911
We've been trying
to track you down for years.
258
00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:08,995
What do you want, Bob?
I want my best friend back.
259
00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:10,497
That's what I want.
260
00:14:10,499 --> 00:14:12,999
I want to know
what the hell happened to you.
261
00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:15,421
And why are you here...
Five years?
262
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:19,639
Oh, come on, Man.
263
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,093
Seriously?
264
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:24,430
What could be so bad that
you had to go down this road?
265
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,734
I lost my right testicle
that night, Bob.
266
00:14:31,153 --> 00:14:33,655
Oh, I... I didn't...
I didn't...
267
00:14:34,156 --> 00:14:35,441
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry.
268
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,076
Yeah, that night they did surgery.
269
00:14:37,326 --> 00:14:38,911
I didn't feel anything
for days, Man.
270
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,495
I mean, it might have been
the OxyContin talking,
271
00:14:41,497 --> 00:14:43,832
but, whoo, Son!
272
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,666
But, uh something still
wasn't right.
273
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,003
What do you mean?
274
00:14:48,203 --> 00:14:49,753
I guess in all the chaos,
275
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,788
nobody thought to check
on my left nut,
276
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,458
the only one I had left.
Oh, no.
277
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,261
It got a little staph infection,
278
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,014
and they had to remove that
one too.
279
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:00,432
So you...
280
00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:02,267
Lost both my balls?
Yeah.
281
00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:05,102
Ah, Jesus Christ.
I'm so sorry, Man.
282
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,107
I had no idea.
I don't even know what to say.
283
00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:11,894
I'm a fuckin' textbook
alpha male, honest.
284
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:13,643
I am a wrecking ball.
285
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,645
I am a killing machine.
Okay. Okay.
286
00:15:15,647 --> 00:15:18,150
I bring food back to the
village and lay all the women.
287
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,573
You know, life hasn't been all that
good to me either, just so you know.
288
00:15:24,907 --> 00:15:27,991
My company is completely
in the shitter.
289
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:30,462
I'm practically broke.
I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment.
290
00:15:30,879 --> 00:15:31,830
Really?
Yeah.
291
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:38,137
Goddamn it, man! We were on top
of the world, weren't we?
292
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:41,340
Look, I know we're not as young
and bulletproof as we used to be,
293
00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:43,976
but we got to where we were because
we were good at what we did.
294
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,596
Who says that got to settle because
life dealt us a couple of shitty hands?
295
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,731
You know what we need?
296
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:50,849
A gun.
297
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:54,520
No, we don't... Not a...
No, we don't need a gun.
298
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,605
Right. Two guns.
One for each of us. Good catch.
299
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,605
You know what else we need?
300
00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:01,243
The Buddy Games.
You out of your fucking mind?
301
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:03,610
No.
That's the reason I'm in this place,
302
00:16:03,612 --> 00:16:05,612
in this goddamn robe,
303
00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:07,614
snorting crushed-up candies.
304
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:10,919
I got tits, for Christ's sake!
Fuck the Buddy Games!
305
00:16:11,119 --> 00:16:14,788
Let's not let one little hiccup
destroy 20 years of greatness.
306
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:18,675
You are... The Buddy Games.
307
00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,513
You are our champion.
You are our king.
308
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,298
We need you to save us.
I'm the king?
309
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:24,766
You're the king.
Who's the king?
310
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,466
You.
Mm-mmm.
311
00:16:26,468 --> 00:16:28,468
Shelly.
Shelly's the fucking king.
312
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,389
If I'm the king,
then I get to decide who's there.
313
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,224
Okay, sure.
314
00:16:32,474 --> 00:16:33,892
Then Bender can't be there.
315
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,229
Really?
316
00:16:37,613 --> 00:16:40,148
Come on. Yeah, he's an asshole,
but he's one of us.
317
00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,032
What?
After what he did to me?
318
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,534
Then forget it, man.
Fuck you. Save yourselves.
319
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:47,956
Okay, okay, you know what? Fine, fine.
He doesn't even have to know.
320
00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:50,576
I'll call everybody else
except for Bender.
321
00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:51,910
Get those fucking games back on.
322
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,712
Right on. One more thing.
What?
323
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:54,997
Let me tell the guys.
324
00:16:55,497 --> 00:16:56,830
About what?
My balls.
325
00:16:56,832 --> 00:16:58,083
What balls?
326
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,503
Too soon, sorry.
Come on.
327
00:17:03,505 --> 00:17:05,005
Just give me a...
328
00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:09,394
Bear. Look at you.
329
00:17:13,315 --> 00:17:15,734
What's the matter with you?
330
00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,101
Tell me you're in.
Are you kidding me?
331
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,772
Fuck, yeah!
Yeah, I'm in!
332
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:23,692
Bitches are going down!
333
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,363
Stay Golden.
334
00:17:30,365 --> 00:17:32,866
Zanester!
Bobfather!
335
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,918
"Boobfather."
336
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,289
What's up, Man?
337
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,675
The games are back, Baby!
What?
338
00:17:40,175 --> 00:17:41,627
And Shelly's in.
You're kidding me.
339
00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,428
No, I'm not.
Shelly's...
340
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,712
Yeah, count me in, Man.
Count me in. Sounds delish.
341
00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:48,216
All right, Buddy, let's talk soon.
Okay.
342
00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,103
Holy shit.
343
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:53,472
Whoo!
344
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,784
Bobby! Hey, Durfy,
you got a minute to talk?
345
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,234
Uh...
Okay, that's a cut on rehearsal.
346
00:18:08,236 --> 00:18:10,289
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a second.
347
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:14,242
I'm just shooting a major motion
picture right now. Please face camera.
348
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,660
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
So what's up, Dude?
349
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,912
Buddy Games, they're back.
Are you in?
350
00:18:18,914 --> 00:18:21,414
Um, I feel like that would be a
little weird without Shelly now.
351
00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:23,717
No, no, he's in.
Then I'm there.
352
00:18:23,719 --> 00:18:26,221
I can't wait to see him. All right,
I'll talk to you soon, Buddy.
353
00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:28,390
Thank you, second team.
First team on set.
354
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,256
Hey, Mr. McDonough.
Hey, how are you?
355
00:18:30,258 --> 00:18:32,761
Yeah, good.
So your mark is right there.
356
00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,763
Thank you.
Yeah, you're gonna be looking...
357
00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:38,150
Right. Mm, mm, mm...
Right over there. Okay.
358
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,269
Don't be too nervous.
You already got the job.
359
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:43,570
Maybe grab a quick pic,
though, together?
360
00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:46,408
Then we can tag each other.
Inappropriate, but, yeah, sure.
361
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,274
Have you heard of Facebook?
Yeah, I guess.
362
00:18:48,276 --> 00:18:49,695
I'm gonna pop it on there.
That's great.
363
00:18:50,078 --> 00:18:51,661
Hey, here with my top dog,
364
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:53,031
Neil McDonough.
Is that a video?
365
00:18:53,281 --> 00:18:54,864
It is a video. Is that okay?
Yeah, n...
366
00:18:54,866 --> 00:18:56,868
You'd rather I take a picture?
Second team, what are you doing?
367
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,171
One second. I'll just do a video.
I'll be really quick.
368
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:16,688
Hello?
369
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:18,190
Hey.
370
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,778
Looks like someone's been busy.
I have been busy.
371
00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:26,114
What do you think
about taking a vacation?
372
00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:29,949
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah? Oh, my gosh, good.
373
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,951
'Cause I went through our calendars,
and there's a couple things we can move,
374
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,905
and we can make it work out.
We can go anywhere.
375
00:19:34,289 --> 00:19:36,158
Do you smell something burning?
376
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,491
Oh! Damn it.
377
00:19:38,493 --> 00:19:40,746
Oh! Ugh!
378
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:41,546
Oh!
379
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,048
Are you...
380
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:47,919
Dang!
I burned it.
381
00:19:48,136 --> 00:19:50,722
Could you...
Could you turn back?
382
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,558
I made three of these.
383
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,011
The other two didn't actually
turn out so well either, but...
384
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,513
Oh, well.
385
00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:02,401
Well, you know what? We can always
scrape it off and still eat the inside.
386
00:20:04,936 --> 00:20:08,021
Oh, I was gonna ask you,
what was going on with Mrs. Baldinger?
387
00:20:08,023 --> 00:20:10,523
Oh, uh...
Yeah, no, that's...
388
00:20:10,525 --> 00:20:12,994
Shelly's not doing so hot.
He is on suicide watch.
389
00:20:13,528 --> 00:20:15,447
What? Poor Sheldon.
Yeah.
390
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,113
He needs my help, Babe.
391
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:18,915
Yeah, of course.
Whatever he needs.
392
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,951
Mary Ann thinks that I should
get the guys back together
393
00:20:21,953 --> 00:20:24,423
for the Buddy Games.
394
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,925
And what'd you tell her?
Well, no.
395
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,211
Good.
At first, and then I said yes.
396
00:20:29,594 --> 00:20:32,097
And then you said yes?
Of course. You know?
397
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:35,098
Are you sure you don't want to
think about this for a second?
398
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,102
I have thought about it.
You have thought about it?
399
00:20:37,602 --> 00:20:39,938
It's a really good idea.
What better to get him off his feet?
400
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,722
You really think that getting the guys
together for a weekend of teabagging
401
00:20:42,724 --> 00:20:44,559
will stop Sheldon from
killing himself?
402
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,062
Yeah. I do.
403
00:20:47,362 --> 00:20:48,947
Okay, so then, um,
what's next for us?
404
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:50,899
Um...
405
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:53,867
Oh, my God, you don't know.
I do know.
406
00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:55,454
You don't know.
Yeah, I know.
407
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,407
We've grown up, and it's not
gonna be like it was before.
408
00:20:59,741 --> 00:21:01,124
How do you know? You haven't
seen these guys in forever.
409
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,460
Can somebody open the goddamn door?
410
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,961
Is that Bender?
411
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:07,415
Oh, sounds like he's grown up.
I'm gonna go.
412
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,916
You know what? That's a good idea.
Let me deal with him,
413
00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:11,584
and I'll meet you for dinner later.
414
00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:14,339
No, Bob, I'm leaving.
What do you mean, you're...
415
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,506
Okay.
416
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,810
You have the Buddy Games, right?
417
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,229
I'm taking the helicopter.
418
00:21:29,237 --> 00:21:31,740
Dixon fuckin' Bender.
419
00:21:32,157 --> 00:21:34,274
How are you, Man?
Well, I'd be lying
420
00:21:34,276 --> 00:21:37,195
if I said everything was
rainbows and unicorns.
421
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:38,914
You're still struggling, huh?
422
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:41,247
Yeah, I've been eating shit, actually.
423
00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:44,619
Went through my mom's inheritance,
and, uh, now I'm living in my van.
424
00:21:44,953 --> 00:21:46,538
So, you know, fuck me.
425
00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:49,541
I don't want to talk about it.
Know what I want to talk about?
426
00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:52,043
I want to talk about Buddy Games.
427
00:21:52,427 --> 00:21:55,380
Uh, what about Buddy Games?
I heard through the grapevine
428
00:21:55,630 --> 00:21:59,215
not only are they back on,
but Shelly's back?
429
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,553
Where the fuck has he been,
and why didn't you call me?
430
00:22:01,803 --> 00:22:04,139
Uh, listen... I want to know
when and where they are.
431
00:22:04,639 --> 00:22:05,941
I need to sleep on your couch.
432
00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:08,527
I'll take a bed.
I'll take whatever.
433
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:10,061
But I need some sleep.
434
00:22:10,862 --> 00:22:15,233
Uh...
There's an entry fee this year.
435
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:16,618
Okay, yeah. All right.
436
00:22:17,118 --> 00:22:19,454
Like, how much?
Like, ten bucks?
437
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:24,374
$10,000? Our friends
that I've known...
438
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,244
We've known forever...
They now all of a sudden
439
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,712
have $10,000 in side cash
they can just throw around?
440
00:22:29,714 --> 00:22:32,083
Durfy does?
He still owes me 20 bucks.
441
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:33,969
That's what the guys wanted to do.
I'm sorry. Fine.
442
00:22:34,336 --> 00:22:36,421
We'll play your
high-stakes shit, okay?
443
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:39,674
But I want to play,
so can you front me the money?
444
00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:41,975
No. Things are, uh, a little tight
445
00:22:41,977 --> 00:22:43,762
at the moment, so I can't.
446
00:22:43,979 --> 00:22:45,897
Yeah, I can tell.
You're roughing it.
447
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:49,100
Just let me play. You can.
You can because you're the Bobfather.
448
00:22:49,484 --> 00:22:51,987
So you created this world.
You make the rules.
449
00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:54,938
So you could go, "Hey,
remember our friend Bender?
450
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,741
Can he come and play?"
451
00:22:58,526 --> 00:23:01,580
I can't.
Just figured it out. Shelly.
452
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,448
Now this makes sense.
Holy shit.
453
00:23:03,832 --> 00:23:05,415
Because five years ago,
454
00:23:05,417 --> 00:23:07,702
I accidentally cracked his nut.
455
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,036
I'm really sorry, okay?
He lost both of his balls.
456
00:23:10,038 --> 00:23:13,122
He lost both his fucking balls.
What?
457
00:23:13,124 --> 00:23:14,793
Goddamn you, Man!
458
00:23:15,043 --> 00:23:16,127
Both of them?
459
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,681
I don't want to talk about it.
You got to go. Bob, I didn't know.
460
00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:21,464
You got to go.
All right, all right.
461
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,969
I love you, Dude,
but you gotta fucking go.
462
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:40,535
You're leaving right now?
463
00:23:41,069 --> 00:23:42,570
Where are you going?
464
00:23:44,789 --> 00:23:47,659
Really? Really, Bob?
465
00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:51,546
You can't float me any cash?
Really?
466
00:23:51,963 --> 00:23:54,047
Damn it, Man! Come on!
467
00:23:54,049 --> 00:23:55,550
What a dick!
468
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:07,679
All right, I'll tell you what.
469
00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:11,014
I'll give you 25 for the china,
50 for the ring,
470
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,816
Fifty? A hundred for the locket,
a hundred for the paintings,
471
00:24:13,818 --> 00:24:17,322
and, uh,
$100 for the rest of this crap.
472
00:24:17,822 --> 00:24:20,239
375. We got a deal?
What? No, we don't have a deal.
473
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:23,995
$50 for a diamond?
That was my mother's wedding ring.
474
00:24:24,195 --> 00:24:26,029
It's fake, Fella.
475
00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:27,780
What?
476
00:24:27,782 --> 00:24:30,333
Fuckin' motherfucker!
477
00:24:30,335 --> 00:24:33,004
She gave him 47 years.
478
00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:34,756
That should be a Purple Heart!
479
00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:36,675
That would actually be worth something.
480
00:24:36,958 --> 00:24:38,043
Fine. Okay.
481
00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:40,845
All right, fine.
What about the china?
482
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,048
You can't tell me that's fake.
'Cause that says,
483
00:24:43,431 --> 00:24:45,300
"Made in China."
Okay.
484
00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:47,552
So I will take no less
485
00:24:47,936 --> 00:24:50,520
than a thousand for all this,
and that's final.
486
00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:52,555
I'll tell you what.
487
00:24:52,557 --> 00:24:54,059
I'll give you 375.
488
00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:57,562
She's still dead.
489
00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:00,982
500. $500.
490
00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,450
Okay.
491
00:25:03,451 --> 00:25:04,953
I don't normally do this...
492
00:25:05,954 --> 00:25:07,405
But I'm gonna give you 375.
493
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:10,825
Oh, you're really having fun,
aren't you?
494
00:25:14,462 --> 00:25:16,164
Can I hold the locket one
more time?
495
00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:19,250
Can you give me that,
you surly fuck?
496
00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,254
Can I keep the picture?
Sure.
497
00:25:25,256 --> 00:25:27,592
That'll be $5.
498
00:25:32,147 --> 00:25:34,147
Hey!
499
00:25:34,149 --> 00:25:36,933
Asshole!
Sorry. I'm in training.
500
00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:39,104
We're gonna test your range
of motion, all right?
501
00:25:39,354 --> 00:25:41,437
I want you to hold on
to this ball here,
502
00:25:41,439 --> 00:25:43,908
and you're gonna go
from side to side.
503
00:25:44,275 --> 00:25:46,327
Oh! He steals the ball!
504
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:48,530
Oh!
505
00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:51,449
Mr. Hornbacher, I am so sorry.
506
00:25:52,867 --> 00:25:55,336
Yeah, some lemonade, please.
507
00:25:57,372 --> 00:25:58,456
Thank you.
508
00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:01,960
Thank you.
509
00:26:12,303 --> 00:26:15,271
Hey, what do we have here?
510
00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:17,807
Saddle up, you old grisly bird.
511
00:26:17,809 --> 00:26:20,779
Yeah.
512
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,562
Yeah, beauty.
513
00:26:22,564 --> 00:26:24,397
Cheers.
514
00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:26,785
You're breaking the law, Mister!
515
00:26:26,985 --> 00:26:30,820
You need a liquor
license to sell vodka.
516
00:26:30,822 --> 00:26:34,123
And you need to recognize
a business opportunity.
517
00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:37,495
So MYOB, little bitches!
518
00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,715
He just said the "B" word!
Shame on you!
519
00:26:40,965 --> 00:26:42,548
You're both gonna be strippers
when you grow up,
520
00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:44,502
really bad ones
that no one pays to see.
521
00:26:44,919 --> 00:26:45,920
Ew!
522
00:26:46,254 --> 00:26:48,256
I'm texting the police!
523
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,808
Fuck.
524
00:26:53,678 --> 00:26:55,261
Hey, what are you doing?
Stop!
525
00:26:55,263 --> 00:26:57,146
Hey, come back here!
526
00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:58,983
Get on the pole!
527
00:26:59,267 --> 00:27:00,602
What are you doing?
Stop!
528
00:27:00,935 --> 00:27:04,322
Give us our money! Come back!
You're bad kids!
529
00:27:06,941 --> 00:27:09,525
He took our money!
Stop! Hey!
530
00:27:11,996 --> 00:27:13,079
Pig!
531
00:27:13,081 --> 00:27:14,499
Mom!
532
00:27:17,418 --> 00:27:19,420
She didn't tell me.
533
00:27:19,921 --> 00:27:22,338
I thought I had cancer, damn it.
Okay.
534
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:24,259
I thought I had cancer, damn it.
535
00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:27,593
You all knew what I was,
and you didn't tell me?
536
00:27:27,595 --> 00:27:30,098
I thought I had cancer, damn it!
537
00:27:31,599 --> 00:27:33,384
Hmm.
538
00:27:34,135 --> 00:27:35,637
Fuck.
539
00:27:37,639 --> 00:27:39,641
What the fuck.
Was that any good?
540
00:27:44,529 --> 00:27:46,231
Yeah.
Hey, Little Brother.
541
00:27:46,481 --> 00:27:47,565
Little busy today.
What do you need?
542
00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,068
I need to borrow a couple bucks.
543
00:27:51,452 --> 00:27:53,452
Thought you said this
Hollywood thing was working out.
544
00:27:53,454 --> 00:27:56,405
It is. I just murdered an audition
545
00:27:56,407 --> 00:27:58,710
for a CW pilot
right before I called you.
546
00:27:58,877 --> 00:28:01,460
And I'm in postproduction
on something right now.
547
00:28:01,462 --> 00:28:02,830
What the fuck is post-production?
548
00:28:03,131 --> 00:28:06,551
I star in a national commercial
for the Marines.
549
00:28:06,801 --> 00:28:08,386
Well, I'm sure Dad
would have been proud.
550
00:28:08,887 --> 00:28:10,722
He'd have been more proud if you
were an actual fucking Marine.
551
00:28:10,972 --> 00:28:13,474
Jack, you are hurting my
feelings a little bit, but yes.
552
00:28:13,808 --> 00:28:16,394
Jesus Christ. Listen to me.
Do you know how hard it is
553
00:28:16,895 --> 00:28:18,895
trying to keep this
family business profitable
554
00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:20,765
without having to finance
your little pipe dreams?
555
00:28:21,182 --> 00:28:22,734
Dad left this to you, not me.
556
00:28:23,067 --> 00:28:25,151
How long's it gonna be
before you figure out
557
00:28:25,153 --> 00:28:28,106
that this acting thing
is a fucking waste of time?
558
00:28:28,606 --> 00:28:33,027
You know, sister's out here.
Belly's as big as shit,
559
00:28:33,361 --> 00:28:34,913
but she's sweating her balls
off just like the rest of us.
560
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,363
So why don't you think about
that while you're out there
561
00:28:37,365 --> 00:28:39,867
in La-La Land eating your
goddamn avocado sandwiches?
562
00:28:40,368 --> 00:28:42,370
You don't know what I...
I got work to do. Real work.
563
00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:44,839
Look it up. Fuck-head.
564
00:29:00,722 --> 00:29:02,722
Full penetration's an extra hundred.
565
00:29:02,724 --> 00:29:05,226
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Uh-huh!
566
00:29:05,727 --> 00:29:07,528
I'm giving you the early-bird special.
567
00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:09,781
Shut up and dig! Dig, Boy!
568
00:29:11,649 --> 00:29:13,067
How many labias do you have?
569
00:29:13,451 --> 00:29:16,035
Oh, I just farted!
Just keep going!
570
00:29:16,037 --> 00:29:17,822
Oh, it's bad!
571
00:29:22,126 --> 00:29:23,542
Oh, no!
572
00:29:23,544 --> 00:29:27,882
No!
573
00:29:38,843 --> 00:29:40,345
Looking great, Hon.
574
00:29:40,845 --> 00:29:43,648
Yeah?
Gorgeous.
575
00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:45,431
Come on, Angel.
Time to go.
576
00:29:46,901 --> 00:29:50,822
Hey, honey, it's me,
checking in again.
577
00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:54,523
I just want to make sure
that you're okay out there,
578
00:29:54,525 --> 00:29:56,527
wherever you are.
579
00:29:57,028 --> 00:29:59,030
I just want to know why
you stormed off like that,
580
00:29:59,530 --> 00:30:01,614
why you hate these guys so much.
581
00:30:01,616 --> 00:30:03,616
Look, we need to talk.
582
00:30:40,204 --> 00:30:42,206
Oh, here we are.
583
00:30:45,710 --> 00:30:47,578
Okay.
584
00:30:47,879 --> 00:30:50,463
Oh, wow.
585
00:30:50,465 --> 00:30:53,251
Oh, I bet this brings back
some fond memories, huh?
586
00:30:54,585 --> 00:30:57,472
Last time I was here, I was
getting wheeled out on a stretcher.
587
00:30:58,389 --> 00:30:59,891
Well, not that memory.
588
00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:03,394
Welcome back, Buddy!
Oh, hey.
589
00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:05,344
You made it.
Yeah.
590
00:31:05,346 --> 00:31:07,313
Hey, I got to defend my title, right?
591
00:31:07,315 --> 00:31:09,233
I'm gonna take that back.
Hey! Hey!
592
00:31:09,517 --> 00:31:12,854
Oh, talking smack already.
How much fun is this, huh?
593
00:31:13,104 --> 00:31:16,188
All right, Mama.
Okay, I'll let you boys be.
594
00:31:16,190 --> 00:31:18,493
Come on.
Hold that for a second.
595
00:31:18,693 --> 00:31:22,080
Just a second. You only hold
it while I get out of the car.
596
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,163
Good luck, Sweetie.
597
00:31:24,165 --> 00:31:26,082
So good to see you.
Give 'em hell, Hon.
598
00:31:26,084 --> 00:31:27,869
Bye, Mom. Thanks.
Bye, Mary Ann.
599
00:31:28,035 --> 00:31:29,618
Thanks.
Bye, Mama. Thank you.
600
00:31:29,620 --> 00:31:33,089
Welcome back, Man.
The place hasn't changed much.
601
00:31:33,091 --> 00:31:34,592
Yeah. Yeah.
602
00:31:36,094 --> 00:31:37,595
Hey, there's, uh...
603
00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:42,431
There's something that I wasn't
entirely honest with you about.
604
00:31:42,433 --> 00:31:46,053
My company did well.
How well?
605
00:31:46,270 --> 00:31:50,691
Well, I sold it for...
Approximately 387 million.
606
00:31:50,942 --> 00:31:52,525
Wow! That's...
607
00:31:52,527 --> 00:31:55,446
I'm... Holy...
Yeah, it's been a...
608
00:31:55,780 --> 00:31:58,366
Congratulations, Brother.
A pretty good couple of years, thanks.
609
00:31:59,367 --> 00:32:01,367
Life just hasn't been
the same without you.
610
00:32:01,369 --> 00:32:03,371
That part was true.
611
00:32:04,872 --> 00:32:07,373
You didn't tell the guys
about my...
612
00:32:07,375 --> 00:32:09,877
Your balls? No. No.
Definitely not.
613
00:32:11,379 --> 00:32:12,880
I'm not sure I can
believe you now, Bob.
614
00:32:13,381 --> 00:32:14,882
Yeah? Well, believe this.
615
00:32:15,383 --> 00:32:17,385
You're with friends now.
Hey, Boobs!
616
00:32:17,802 --> 00:32:20,805
Is that your dad?
Hey, Mr. Schmidt.
617
00:32:21,139 --> 00:32:22,673
No, no, no.
That's... That's Shelly.
618
00:32:23,641 --> 00:32:25,643
Oh, my God.
What the hell?
619
00:32:26,144 --> 00:32:28,146
Holy shit, Sheldon!
620
00:32:28,646 --> 00:32:31,147
Fuck you guys.
Are you kidding me?
621
00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:33,149
He's back!
622
00:32:33,151 --> 00:32:35,351
Get the fuck off of me.
623
00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:37,355
Get off of me.
Get off of me.
624
00:32:38,856 --> 00:32:40,856
Hands off, hands off.
625
00:32:40,858 --> 00:32:42,693
That's right.
626
00:32:45,079 --> 00:32:46,948
Oh, so, um,
627
00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:49,167
I had to say goodbye
to the guys in Bon Jovi
628
00:32:49,450 --> 00:32:52,870
and start the journey home, Man.
629
00:32:53,287 --> 00:32:55,373
I just realized I couldn't
run from it anymore.
630
00:32:55,873 --> 00:32:57,875
That's reality.
That's it.
631
00:32:58,292 --> 00:33:00,878
You still got his number, Bon Jovi?
632
00:33:03,681 --> 00:33:05,132
Come on, Doc. Some decorum.
633
00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:08,052
Shel, I'm so sorry you had
to go through all that, Man.
634
00:33:08,553 --> 00:33:09,387
Thanks.
635
00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:11,439
But tell me about
the chicks from Tibet, Man.
636
00:33:11,973 --> 00:33:13,808
'Cause I've heard they're
smoking hot. True or false?
637
00:33:14,108 --> 00:33:15,526
Nah, I never heard that.
I never heard that.
638
00:33:16,027 --> 00:33:17,443
You guys haven't heard...
639
00:33:17,445 --> 00:33:19,480
The point is that our king is back.
Look at this.
640
00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:22,149
He sure as hell is.
641
00:33:22,316 --> 00:33:24,151
Let's make a toast.
Oh, wait. Somebody's here.
642
00:33:24,368 --> 00:33:27,038
Nut check!
Oh!
643
00:33:27,371 --> 00:33:29,740
Oh! Oh!
644
00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,792
Nut tap! You're lucky they were low.
I didn't really feel much.
645
00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:37,665
You dodged a bullet.
I just felt log.
646
00:33:37,999 --> 00:33:40,082
I'm very happy to see
we're still doing that.
647
00:33:40,084 --> 00:33:42,053
No shit, because that is...
648
00:33:42,386 --> 00:33:44,889
That's the kind of stuff
I missed, Man, all my travels.
649
00:33:45,223 --> 00:33:47,758
It was the camaraderie,
being with you guys, just...
650
00:33:48,092 --> 00:33:50,177
the connection with other people,
you know?
651
00:33:50,561 --> 00:33:52,647
I feel bad I didn't reach
back out to you guys.
652
00:33:53,147 --> 00:33:56,651
'Cause I got all the cards and the notes and
everything. I just had a lot on my mind.
653
00:33:56,934 --> 00:33:58,986
It just wasn't...
You kidding? We love you, Man.
654
00:33:59,403 --> 00:34:00,855
What...
655
00:34:05,159 --> 00:34:06,744
I know that horn. Yeah.
656
00:34:07,161 --> 00:34:08,529
It's got to be.
657
00:34:08,746 --> 00:34:10,281
Whoo! What?
658
00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:13,749
What? Buddy Games!
659
00:34:13,751 --> 00:34:15,920
Yeah!
660
00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:19,206
There he is!
Hey, you guys, Bender's here!
661
00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:21,425
You fucking bastard.
662
00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:23,711
He's not supposed to be here.
663
00:34:24,045 --> 00:34:25,628
Come on.
I'm not gonna miss the Buddy Games.
664
00:34:25,630 --> 00:34:27,098
That's insane.
What's up, Durf?
665
00:34:27,431 --> 00:34:29,016
Bender!
666
00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:31,802
Who's that guy?
Hey, Man. How are ya?
667
00:34:32,603 --> 00:34:33,971
Are you lost?
668
00:34:34,305 --> 00:34:36,138
Sheldon.
What's up, Bud?
669
00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:38,440
I got nothing to say to you, Buddy.
670
00:34:38,442 --> 00:34:40,442
You got a lot of fucking nerve
showing your face here.
671
00:34:40,444 --> 00:34:43,564
I knew you were gonna say that,
and I'm here for peace.
672
00:34:43,814 --> 00:34:45,316
Okay? Hear me out.
673
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,904
Look, Man, the past
is in the past, Dude.
674
00:34:51,906 --> 00:34:54,375
There's nothing we can do about it.
What happened, happened.
675
00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,794
All I care about is the future
676
00:34:57,078 --> 00:34:58,963
and our prosperity,
677
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,581
and that's why I'm here.
678
00:35:01,465 --> 00:35:03,884
Sheldon, I give you...
679
00:35:04,218 --> 00:35:07,338
Cuban cigars.
No, Doc, but good guess.
680
00:35:07,755 --> 00:35:10,141
This is something
a little bit more special.
681
00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:19,767
What is this?
682
00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:21,519
It's my... My seed.
683
00:35:21,769 --> 00:35:24,655
My... Baby sauce.
684
00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:26,657
What?
Dick matter.
685
00:35:34,615 --> 00:35:37,533
Are you... Are you for real?
Wow, Dixon fucking Bender.
686
00:35:37,535 --> 00:35:39,668
Oh, that's a lot of loads.
687
00:35:39,670 --> 00:35:41,255
Uh, it's nine, to be exact.
688
00:35:41,455 --> 00:35:42,506
Whoa, there.
689
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,041
Dude, two days, that took me.
Ugh.
690
00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:47,094
Bender, you are a fucking
hero, Man.
691
00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:50,598
That's kind of weird, Man.
Was there a memo?
692
00:35:50,848 --> 00:35:52,798
Were we supposed to bring semen?
I didn't bring semen. Durfy?
693
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:56,051
Bender, that's a very gross present.
Why did you give him that?
694
00:35:56,053 --> 00:35:59,054
It's not gross.
It's not gross, okay?
695
00:35:59,056 --> 00:36:02,226
Our friend, our very good
friend here, Sheldon,
696
00:36:02,393 --> 00:36:05,479
he lost both of his testicles.
697
00:36:06,364 --> 00:36:07,231
Oh...
698
00:36:08,783 --> 00:36:09,700
Is that true, Shelly?
699
00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:15,904
It's true. I, uh...
They're both gone.
700
00:36:15,906 --> 00:36:19,293
I'm... I'm, uh... I'm like
a Ken doll down there now.
701
00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:21,660
Hey, Ken had a good life.
702
00:36:21,662 --> 00:36:25,583
He had a hot blonde, a Corvette.
Right?
703
00:36:27,168 --> 00:36:29,253
Ah, look, I mean, I can't complain.
704
00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:31,839
Now I can have kids.
You can have dozens.
705
00:36:32,223 --> 00:36:35,007
So, that's my peace offering,
706
00:36:35,009 --> 00:36:38,512
and I just want to know,
are we cool?
707
00:36:41,732 --> 00:36:44,233
Yeah. Yeah.
708
00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:46,103
All right. Whew!
709
00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:47,488
Oh, thank God.
Are you kidding me?
710
00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:49,323
Come on.
Love you, Brother.
711
00:36:49,573 --> 00:36:51,358
It worked. Thought we were
gonna see some blows.
712
00:36:51,575 --> 00:36:53,661
Thank you very much.
That's really fucking awesome.
713
00:36:54,111 --> 00:36:55,944
I love that. Know what
else I love? Alcohol!
714
00:36:55,946 --> 00:36:57,413
Let's go to the tiki bar.
Come on.
715
00:36:57,415 --> 00:36:59,415
Tiki bar!
All right.
716
00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,418
Go for it.
717
00:37:01,919 --> 00:37:03,871
I can't believe that worked...
Thanks, Bob.
718
00:37:04,255 --> 00:37:05,756
'Cause that's your fault, right?
719
00:37:07,124 --> 00:37:08,509
Whoa!
What the hell?
720
00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:11,376
Dude, what is all this money?
What is that?
721
00:37:11,378 --> 00:37:13,681
Dude, it was not easy.
722
00:37:14,181 --> 00:37:16,133
I mean, a $10,000 entry fee?
723
00:37:16,684 --> 00:37:18,135
That was not easy to scrape up,
724
00:37:18,686 --> 00:37:20,638
but I banged and bartered
my way for those Benjamins.
725
00:37:21,021 --> 00:37:23,557
Pretty much sold my soul,
and, uh, don't give a shit.
726
00:37:23,891 --> 00:37:25,476
But at the end of the day,
I'm gonna win that...
727
00:37:25,976 --> 00:37:28,362
♪ $60,000, whores ♪
728
00:37:28,612 --> 00:37:30,531
Entry fee?
What entry fee?
729
00:37:30,815 --> 00:37:32,650
I'm lost.
Bender...
730
00:37:33,951 --> 00:37:36,287
I'm sorry, Bender.
There was never an entry fee.
731
00:37:36,537 --> 00:37:38,620
What?
732
00:37:38,622 --> 00:37:42,991
I'm sorry, but I didn't have the heart
to tell you, man, you weren't invited.
733
00:37:42,993 --> 00:37:45,296
We didn't feel comfortable
with you here this year.
734
00:37:45,579 --> 00:37:48,632
You know, you could've told me that.
That would have been a lot easier.
735
00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:50,549
I didn't think you were gonna
come up with ten thou...
736
00:37:50,551 --> 00:37:53,387
I mean, 10,000 bucks?
Really? That's crazy!
737
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:55,172
Oh, my God.
Are you fucking kidding me?
738
00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:58,309
I made up everything about
the fee and the pot. I'm sorry.
739
00:37:58,509 --> 00:38:02,094
You're sorry? I sold
all of my shit! All of it!
740
00:38:02,096 --> 00:38:04,096
I sold all my mom's stuff.
741
00:38:04,098 --> 00:38:07,067
I gave a bum a hand job for $30.
742
00:38:07,485 --> 00:38:10,187
Ooh, expand on that. No, I'm not
going to. You want to smell my hand?
743
00:38:10,404 --> 00:38:12,488
I don't think so.
No, probably not.
744
00:38:12,490 --> 00:38:14,024
Bob, you fucked me, Man!
745
00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:16,527
You promised me 60 grand,
so you better fix this.
746
00:38:17,027 --> 00:38:19,864
I can't get that stuff back.
I can't take that hand job back.
747
00:38:20,164 --> 00:38:23,083
This has always been about pride. You said
it yourself. This is about the brotherhood.
748
00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:24,833
This is not about money
or anything else.
749
00:38:24,835 --> 00:38:26,120
Oh, fuck that!
750
00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:28,372
Yeah, it's not about money,
because you have money.
751
00:38:28,589 --> 00:38:30,291
All right? Zane.
Yeah?
752
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,043
Could you use $60,000
for your tanning business?
753
00:38:33,427 --> 00:38:35,346
Yes.
Yeah.
754
00:38:35,629 --> 00:38:37,848
Durf, what about you, Bud?
Yeah.
755
00:38:38,215 --> 00:38:41,218
It's a hard yes from you.
It should be. Doc? Yeah.
756
00:38:41,635 --> 00:38:43,888
Exactly. And Shelly needs new
straitjackets. You see, Bob?
757
00:38:44,388 --> 00:38:47,022
We all fucking need.
758
00:38:47,024 --> 00:38:51,061
But not you, Man.
You don't have the need for anything.
759
00:38:55,616 --> 00:38:58,402
Zane, could I spot you
10,000 bucks?
760
00:38:58,652 --> 00:39:00,037
Just this once. What about you,
Durfy? Can I spot you?
761
00:39:00,538 --> 00:39:03,539
What about you? Doc? Shelly?
Yeah, I won't say no.
762
00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:04,992
50,000 bucks.
763
00:39:05,376 --> 00:39:06,961
That's great. What about you?
What about me?
764
00:39:07,461 --> 00:39:08,796
What are you gonna spot yourself?
765
00:39:09,630 --> 00:39:10,831
Can you believe this fucking guy?
766
00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:12,383
Well, yeah.
767
00:39:12,716 --> 00:39:14,585
It's so crazy!
I sold all my shit.
768
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,922
I'm gonna match the fucking pot.
How does that sound?
769
00:39:18,422 --> 00:39:20,558
Hundred thousand bucks!
770
00:39:20,975 --> 00:39:22,343
We're gonna play for 100,000 bucks.
771
00:39:22,509 --> 00:39:24,428
I like it, I don't love it.
772
00:39:24,678 --> 00:39:25,846
One-fifty.
Yes! Done.
773
00:39:26,180 --> 00:39:29,066
150,000 bucks!
150 grand!
774
00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:32,603
Oh! Looks like we got
ourselves a Buddy Game.
775
00:39:34,021 --> 00:39:34,939
Yes!
776
00:39:41,829 --> 00:39:43,779
All right, Boys, here we go!
777
00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:45,616
The Buddy Games are back, Baby!
778
00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:50,452
Kicking off this year's event:
Kong's Crucible.
779
00:39:50,454 --> 00:39:52,423
It's a giant obstacle course,
780
00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:54,625
complete with corn dogs,
bubble balls,
781
00:39:54,959 --> 00:39:57,177
watermelons, electric eels.
782
00:39:57,378 --> 00:39:59,294
What's that?
Don't ask.
783
00:39:59,296 --> 00:40:01,515
Once you get through there,
it's mud pits,
784
00:40:01,932 --> 00:40:03,298
motorcycles, beer bongs,
785
00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,687
and one big-ass waterslide.
786
00:40:07,054 --> 00:40:09,638
You're gonna catch a lot of air,
I'm gonna warn you right now,
787
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,139
but, very important to note,
788
00:40:11,141 --> 00:40:13,444
the only way you win
is if you capture the flag.
789
00:40:13,644 --> 00:40:15,729
Whoever captures the flag
wins the event.
790
00:40:16,146 --> 00:40:18,198
Top three finalists
at the end of today's events
791
00:40:18,732 --> 00:40:21,151
competes in tomorrow's
final event, the endgame.
792
00:40:21,535 --> 00:40:23,454
Oh, by the way, Shelly,
we got near beer for you.
793
00:40:23,737 --> 00:40:25,572
Copy.
Wait, what?
794
00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:28,042
He's in the program, Bender.
I can't mix my meds with alcohol.
795
00:40:28,459 --> 00:40:29,827
He can't drink alcohol period.
796
00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:31,795
That seems like an unfair advantage.
797
00:40:32,079 --> 00:40:34,915
It's still beer, Dick Face!
Why don't you just get him a Fresca.
798
00:40:35,215 --> 00:40:38,585
Are you trying to mind-fuck me, Mijo?
'Cause I invented mind-fucking.
799
00:40:38,802 --> 00:40:40,888
I'll come all over your mind.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
800
00:40:41,388 --> 00:40:42,890
What the fuck is wrong with you?
801
00:40:43,390 --> 00:40:45,225
Insane Clown Pussy.
802
00:40:45,426 --> 00:40:47,344
Are you ready for this?
803
00:40:48,062 --> 00:40:49,480
Boom!
Eat!
804
00:41:14,922 --> 00:41:16,674
Goddamn, Dude!
805
00:41:20,928 --> 00:41:22,763
What the fuck?
806
00:42:11,228 --> 00:42:13,313
High voltage? What...
807
00:42:20,521 --> 00:42:23,240
Oh! Oh, God!
Get over here!
808
00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:48,382
Go, go, go, go!
809
00:43:03,313 --> 00:43:05,816
Fuck you!
Eat it! Eat it!
810
00:43:12,956 --> 00:43:14,324
Coming for you!
811
00:43:14,625 --> 00:43:15,991
Come on!
812
00:43:15,993 --> 00:43:17,744
I can suck way harder
than you, Bender!
813
00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:19,630
Let's get it!
814
00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:24,835
Fuck it.
815
00:43:34,561 --> 00:43:35,512
Ah, good!
816
00:43:35,929 --> 00:43:36,980
Cheaters!
817
00:43:39,149 --> 00:43:40,684
Not today!
818
00:43:42,436 --> 00:43:44,605
Don't touch me, Bender! Aaah!
819
00:43:48,075 --> 00:43:51,528
I am Kong King!
820
00:43:56,950 --> 00:43:58,418
Stop Shelly!
821
00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:08,178
Oh, no! Oh, no!
822
00:44:08,545 --> 00:44:11,131
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
823
00:44:15,102 --> 00:44:16,553
Son of a bitch!
824
00:44:52,139 --> 00:44:53,638
You finished?
825
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,057
Bob put zero effort into this event.
826
00:44:56,059 --> 00:44:57,559
This is fucking dumb.
827
00:44:57,561 --> 00:44:59,477
Oh, come on.
I lost my whole lure.
828
00:45:04,184 --> 00:45:05,767
Is there money in there?
829
00:45:05,769 --> 00:45:07,654
Open it.
Be careful, Doc.
830
00:45:13,026 --> 00:45:14,111
Yeah!
831
00:45:15,612 --> 00:45:17,497
Oh, no!
832
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,286
Don't touch it! Don't touch it!
Oh, God!
833
00:45:43,106 --> 00:45:44,191
Yeah, Baby.
834
00:45:44,691 --> 00:45:46,191
Okay.
Remember them well.
835
00:45:46,193 --> 00:45:48,195
All right, here we are, Boys...
The old watering hole.
836
00:45:48,695 --> 00:45:50,530
The old Spread Eagle Bar and Grill.
837
00:45:52,399 --> 00:45:54,701
It's also the home
of our next challenge.
838
00:45:54,952 --> 00:45:56,820
So full of curveballs.
839
00:45:57,070 --> 00:45:58,155
Who here thinks they got what
it takes
840
00:45:58,655 --> 00:45:59,573
when it comes to charming the ladies?
841
00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:02,793
Well, that's part of it.
842
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,661
You think you can get
a girl to buy you a drink?
843
00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:06,580
Okay, easy enough.
844
00:46:06,997 --> 00:46:08,830
Take them on the dance floor and
maybe get a kiss on the lips?
845
00:46:08,832 --> 00:46:11,132
Oh, please.
Bob, come on.
846
00:46:11,134 --> 00:46:13,303
Okay, well, who can do that
847
00:46:13,587 --> 00:46:15,472
without shitting your pants first?
848
00:46:18,175 --> 00:46:20,175
Yeah, you all got real serious
now, didn't you?
849
00:46:20,177 --> 00:46:22,145
Bob, that's perverse.
Nope, that's the next challenge.
850
00:46:22,479 --> 00:46:24,429
I like to call it
"Intestinal fortitude."
851
00:46:24,431 --> 00:46:27,315
Man, this is the dumbest shit ever.
Are you fucking kidding me?
852
00:46:27,317 --> 00:46:29,152
No.
Corn dogs and laxatives?
853
00:46:29,486 --> 00:46:31,569
You are the ones that wanted
to play for 150,000 bucks.
854
00:46:31,571 --> 00:46:33,023
I'm just trying to make you
earn it.
855
00:46:33,407 --> 00:46:35,490
Sounds like somebody
doesn't want to compete.
856
00:46:35,492 --> 00:46:37,993
And if you don't compete...
You must concede.
857
00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:41,696
I'm not conceding! I'm a fucking
cock rooster. Gonna get me a chicken.
858
00:46:41,698 --> 00:46:44,451
Here we go.
Oh, Man.
859
00:47:04,021 --> 00:47:05,305
Oh, my God.
860
00:47:07,024 --> 00:47:09,607
Your bag is everything.
Oh, thank you.
861
00:47:09,609 --> 00:47:11,893
I'm sorry. May I?
Absolutely.
862
00:47:11,895 --> 00:47:13,947
Look at that.
It's watermelon.
863
00:47:14,147 --> 00:47:16,064
I think I might be the last
piece to this puzzle.
864
00:47:16,066 --> 00:47:17,868
Oh!
865
00:47:19,703 --> 00:47:21,536
My mouth is very dry.
866
00:47:21,538 --> 00:47:24,039
Can I get you a drink?
You are so very sweet.
867
00:47:24,041 --> 00:47:26,043
Absolutely.
I... Just this once.
868
00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:29,327
Okay. What do you like?
Oh, anything that's wet.
869
00:47:29,329 --> 00:47:30,247
Oh...
Oh!
870
00:47:30,630 --> 00:47:32,466
Hey, can you buy me a drink?
871
00:47:32,666 --> 00:47:33,717
I live in my van.
872
00:47:34,167 --> 00:47:35,218
What? No.
873
00:47:36,636 --> 00:47:38,388
I'll chow your box for a week.
874
00:47:38,638 --> 00:47:40,173
You like vodka?
875
00:47:40,557 --> 00:47:42,807
Yeah.
Yeah.
876
00:47:42,809 --> 00:47:44,261
Two wet ones.
877
00:47:44,678 --> 00:47:46,179
Yeah, hi.
This is Dr. Kelly.
878
00:47:53,570 --> 00:47:55,605
You look like you need a blow job.
879
00:47:58,241 --> 00:47:59,743
Shot, silly.
Oh.
880
00:48:00,077 --> 00:48:01,025
What did you think I meant?
881
00:48:01,027 --> 00:48:02,913
Uh, you know, oral...
882
00:48:04,748 --> 00:48:07,584
Can you please just call me back?
I miss you.
883
00:48:07,951 --> 00:48:08,952
All right, bye.
884
00:48:09,286 --> 00:48:12,339
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
885
00:48:13,757 --> 00:48:15,208
I would buy you a drink...
886
00:48:16,676 --> 00:48:19,677
But my friends and I are playing
this ridiculous game
887
00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,963
where we're trying to get
women to buy us drinks.
888
00:48:21,965 --> 00:48:24,134
That's refreshingly honest.
889
00:48:24,384 --> 00:48:27,802
It's ridiculous.
I feel like buying you a drink.
890
00:48:27,804 --> 00:48:30,107
Okay.
What'll it be?
891
00:48:31,191 --> 00:48:33,193
Uh-oh. You look lonely.
892
00:48:33,693 --> 00:48:36,696
The cure for that is,
you buy me a drink,
893
00:48:37,197 --> 00:48:38,198
and I'll sit...
894
00:48:39,199 --> 00:48:40,650
I'll save this seat for you.
895
00:48:41,651 --> 00:48:43,653
You know what drinking
makes me want to do?
896
00:48:44,154 --> 00:48:46,656
What's that? It makes me want to
feel, and it makes me want to move.
897
00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:49,376
You want to move with me?
Ooh, absolutely!
898
00:48:49,576 --> 00:48:51,661
Oh, I know you.
Hi, Durf.
899
00:48:54,581 --> 00:48:56,967
Here we go. Here it is.
900
00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:58,833
There's a kink there
that's very sensitive
901
00:48:58,835 --> 00:49:00,835
on the right side, yeah.
Oh, I can feel that.
902
00:49:00,837 --> 00:49:02,337
Why don't you order us
a couple drinks,
903
00:49:02,339 --> 00:49:04,339
and I'll get you all fixed up?
904
00:49:04,341 --> 00:49:06,341
Um, sure.
905
00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:08,843
Eddie, two vodka cranberry.
906
00:49:08,845 --> 00:49:10,847
Careful.
I'm very sensitive.
907
00:49:11,348 --> 00:49:13,850
Nice and loosey-goosey.
Nice and loosey-goosey.
908
00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:15,352
Aaah!
909
00:49:15,852 --> 00:49:17,354
Oh, yeah, there you go.
Oh, God!
910
00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:21,322
How's that? Nice?
I think you just made it worse.
911
00:49:21,324 --> 00:49:25,162
Stand up. Let's check that weight
distribution. Okay, hang on.
912
00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:28,698
I love your hair. Do you sleep
in the woods? Sometimes.
913
00:49:28,949 --> 00:49:31,533
I got a half a bottle
of Fireball parked outside
914
00:49:31,535 --> 00:49:34,004
in my Kia Sorento, if you're
interested in coming out back.
915
00:49:34,955 --> 00:49:36,454
Yes. Yes, I am.
916
00:49:36,456 --> 00:49:37,757
Yes, I am.
Good.
917
00:49:38,008 --> 00:49:41,509
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Save it, Kitty. Save it.
918
00:49:41,511 --> 00:49:44,848
Let's hit the dance floor, and you
can ride me like a fucking animal.
919
00:49:45,131 --> 00:49:47,467
I will. I will.
Okay, let's go.
920
00:49:57,861 --> 00:50:00,445
If you let your hips go,
921
00:50:00,447 --> 00:50:02,447
your neck will follow.
922
00:50:02,449 --> 00:50:04,451
Wait a minute.
Are you trying to dance with me?
923
00:50:04,951 --> 00:50:06,951
Yeah. No, I'm...
924
00:50:08,321 --> 00:50:11,206
Oh, no.
925
00:50:11,208 --> 00:50:12,709
Oh, no!
926
00:50:13,210 --> 00:50:15,045
Where's the bathroom?
927
00:50:15,245 --> 00:50:16,830
That's it for Doc.
928
00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:22,802
I don't want to buy you a drink.
What's the big deal?
929
00:50:23,003 --> 00:50:25,420
Fuck off, please.
What did you say to me?
930
00:50:25,422 --> 00:50:28,925
I said, "Walk off."
Hey! The lady said no, Asshole.
931
00:50:29,175 --> 00:50:32,512
Fuck off, shrimp dick. Come on.
Please. No!
932
00:50:34,347 --> 00:50:35,849
Hey, Bud, how's it going?
933
00:50:36,349 --> 00:50:38,349
How does it look like it's
going, Bitch?
934
00:50:38,351 --> 00:50:39,851
Okay.
935
00:50:39,853 --> 00:50:42,239
Zane, I forgot what a good
dancer you are, Man.
936
00:50:42,489 --> 00:50:44,858
Yeah? What was that move you
used to do back in the day?
937
00:50:45,191 --> 00:50:47,110
It was sick.
You used to kill it.
938
00:50:47,410 --> 00:50:51,281
It's not a move, Bender.
It's called art.
939
00:50:51,498 --> 00:50:53,333
Hey, Dude, break it out, Man.
Yeah?
940
00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:54,832
Yeah.
941
00:50:54,834 --> 00:50:57,704
Here at the Spread Eagle?
Yeah.
942
00:50:58,038 --> 00:50:59,339
Okay.
943
00:51:02,042 --> 00:51:04,125
Oh!
944
00:51:04,127 --> 00:51:07,128
Oh, Bender, you made me...
945
00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:10,550
Oh!
What happened?
946
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,886
I'm having a hard time
understanding what's she's doing.
947
00:51:13,386 --> 00:51:15,388
Why would she do that?
She just left.
948
00:51:15,889 --> 00:51:17,889
She just left, and... And I'm...
949
00:51:17,891 --> 00:51:20,894
I'm a little busted up about it.
950
00:51:21,394 --> 00:51:23,396
I mean, she's...
I love her.
951
00:51:23,897 --> 00:51:25,897
She is beautiful.
Tiff...
952
00:51:32,122 --> 00:51:34,124
You like that, huh?
953
00:51:34,624 --> 00:51:37,742
Who's the shrimp dick now, motherfucker?
Who's the shrimp dick now?
954
00:51:37,744 --> 00:51:39,496
Let me go, shrimp dick!
955
00:51:39,746 --> 00:51:41,247
What's up, Durf?
956
00:51:41,631 --> 00:51:43,133
Having some troubles?
Struggling a little bit?
957
00:51:43,416 --> 00:51:44,467
I'm good.
958
00:51:44,834 --> 00:51:45,802
You don't look good.
959
00:51:46,086 --> 00:51:47,137
Oh, fuck!
960
00:51:47,470 --> 00:51:48,555
Let it out!
961
00:51:51,725 --> 00:51:55,810
I'm gonna crush you, you
little Oompa Loompa motherfucker!
962
00:51:55,812 --> 00:51:59,232
Shh, shh. Go to sleep.
Shh, just let it happen.
963
00:51:59,566 --> 00:52:02,150
Shh.
964
00:52:02,152 --> 00:52:04,020
Shh.
965
00:52:04,821 --> 00:52:07,157
Yes! Yeah!
966
00:52:14,114 --> 00:52:16,116
Congratulations, Bender.
967
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,592
Hey, Shelly.
968
00:52:26,092 --> 00:52:28,593
You looked pretty good
until the fight started.
969
00:52:28,595 --> 00:52:29,961
I don't want to talk about it.
970
00:52:29,963 --> 00:52:31,848
That guy was really small.
Bender...
971
00:52:32,182 --> 00:52:34,768
I know they like to be called little
people, but I'd classify that guy...
972
00:52:35,218 --> 00:52:37,637
Shut your cock pocket.
What the fuck are we doing here?
973
00:52:37,887 --> 00:52:40,890
Seriously, Bob. I have meat strapped
to my face. Hold your horses, Boys.
974
00:52:41,224 --> 00:52:43,775
It'll be here momentarily.
But first,
975
00:52:43,777 --> 00:52:46,778
I decided to throw a little
curveball into this one.
976
00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:49,566
Oh!
We're gonna hit this.
977
00:52:49,783 --> 00:52:52,152
Oh, man.
Oh, fuck, yes. Let's get weird.
978
00:52:52,318 --> 00:52:53,901
Please!
What does that mean?
979
00:52:53,903 --> 00:52:55,405
You're saying
you've never smoked pot?
980
00:52:55,822 --> 00:52:57,405
You don't fucking know what I do
981
00:52:57,407 --> 00:52:58,742
when I go to the clubs, Man.
982
00:52:58,958 --> 00:53:00,877
I get super paranoid
when I smoke grass.
983
00:53:01,127 --> 00:53:02,712
Come on. You know the rules.
Buddy Games, Baby.
984
00:53:03,213 --> 00:53:05,465
If you can't compete, you must concede.
It's medicinal.
985
00:53:05,749 --> 00:53:07,834
Bet I'm the only one that's
smoked hash.
986
00:53:08,334 --> 00:53:10,170
Guys, they test
sometimes on movie sets.
987
00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:11,838
I don't know if I can
have this in my system.
988
00:53:12,088 --> 00:53:13,673
That's the shit that killed Hendrix.
989
00:53:14,174 --> 00:53:16,676
Yeah, Boy!
Bye, bye, brain.
990
00:53:19,095 --> 00:53:20,595
Take it.
991
00:53:20,597 --> 00:53:21,898
Got it?
Got it.
992
00:53:23,233 --> 00:53:24,651
Don't bogart that shit.
993
00:53:26,569 --> 00:53:27,937
Fuck you.
994
00:53:31,441 --> 00:53:33,193
Holy shit.
995
00:53:33,410 --> 00:53:35,862
You're blowing it out and
sucking it in at the same time?
996
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:40,867
This is a bad idea.
All right, Boys.
997
00:53:41,034 --> 00:53:42,619
The final event of the day.
998
00:53:43,620 --> 00:53:46,120
This is not a game of strength
999
00:53:46,122 --> 00:53:48,458
or endurance,
but rather a test of courage,
1000
00:53:48,675 --> 00:53:52,295
and it will determine tomorrow's
three finalists in the endgame.
1001
00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:55,598
So ask yourselves, how bad
do you want that money, Boys?
1002
00:53:55,849 --> 00:53:57,932
Bad. Real bad.
Real bad.
1003
00:53:57,934 --> 00:53:59,769
The game is simple.
1004
00:54:00,103 --> 00:54:02,687
The last one to keep
his head above board wins.
1005
00:54:02,689 --> 00:54:04,190
Enter the dragon!
1006
00:54:04,641 --> 00:54:06,190
What?
1007
00:54:09,195 --> 00:54:11,529
Bob, what the fuck is that thing?
What the fuck is that?
1008
00:54:11,531 --> 00:54:13,700
What the fuck is that, Man.
It's a dinosaur.
1009
00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:23,126
Hey, Bob. Bob left.
1010
00:54:23,293 --> 00:54:25,712
Bob, what a fucking coward.
1011
00:54:41,427 --> 00:54:44,430
Yeah. Look at Shelly
and his juicy, fat head.
1012
00:54:44,898 --> 00:54:46,850
Eat off the rest of his hair.
1013
00:54:49,936 --> 00:54:50,937
Doc!
1014
00:54:51,271 --> 00:54:52,822
Oh, my God!
Doc!
1015
00:54:53,406 --> 00:54:56,276
Tell me you're okay!
That was intense.
1016
00:54:56,526 --> 00:54:59,579
Doc, talk to me!
Doc, just talk!
1017
00:55:00,029 --> 00:55:01,579
He senses fear!
1018
00:55:01,581 --> 00:55:04,000
Doc was weak, like you, Zane.
1019
00:55:04,334 --> 00:55:05,335
Yeah.
1020
00:55:10,206 --> 00:55:12,208
Yeah, I'm not afraid.
1021
00:55:12,625 --> 00:55:14,210
Oh, no. Oh, God.
1022
00:55:16,212 --> 00:55:18,131
No. No.
1023
00:55:23,553 --> 00:55:26,472
Ugh! I'm sorry, Mom!
1024
00:55:33,229 --> 00:55:36,149
That's it, motherfucker.
That's it, motherfucker.
1025
00:55:36,399 --> 00:55:37,901
Huh?
1026
00:55:38,318 --> 00:55:40,484
Shelly, get out of there.
You win, Man.
1027
00:55:40,486 --> 00:55:44,155
What are you doing?
You want a piece of me, huh?
1028
00:55:44,157 --> 00:55:47,627
You stupid fucking pea-brained
lizard, you think I'm scared of you?
1029
00:55:47,994 --> 00:55:49,412
Shelly, man, you already won.
Get out of there!
1030
00:55:49,746 --> 00:55:52,081
Where is it?
Where is it? Come on!
1031
00:55:52,332 --> 00:55:53,883
Oh, my God!
1032
00:56:08,648 --> 00:56:09,599
Hey.
1033
00:56:12,685 --> 00:56:13,570
You all right?
1034
00:56:13,903 --> 00:56:15,989
Uh-huh. Good times, Man.
1035
00:56:16,406 --> 00:56:17,989
You're sort of gazing
right into that fire.
1036
00:56:17,991 --> 00:56:21,277
I'm just a little worried
about you.
1037
00:56:24,030 --> 00:56:26,416
Hey, look, I know you're
pissed at me right now...
1038
00:56:26,699 --> 00:56:29,786
Why would I be pissed at you?
'Cause you lied to me about everything?
1039
00:56:30,203 --> 00:56:33,089
I'm sorry that I lied to you.
I am. But I did it for...
1040
00:56:33,256 --> 00:56:35,174
Don't apologize.
You literally saved my life.
1041
00:56:35,425 --> 00:56:38,294
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
I mean... No.
1042
00:56:38,461 --> 00:56:41,045
This little reunion could just
as easily have been my funeral,
1043
00:56:41,047 --> 00:56:43,549
but now I got a reason
to live again, Man.
1044
00:56:45,051 --> 00:56:47,637
And that? I owe that all
to you, Little Buddy.
1045
00:56:50,857 --> 00:56:53,309
Can I get you anything?
Another near beer?
1046
00:56:53,643 --> 00:56:55,226
Nah, I'm good.
1047
00:56:55,228 --> 00:56:58,231
Okay. You know what, though?
I'm gonna get you something.
1048
00:56:58,648 --> 00:57:01,034
Okay.
Show you how I feel about everything.
1049
00:57:01,367 --> 00:57:03,319
Ooh!
Oh, yeah.
1050
00:57:29,679 --> 00:57:33,016
How many cards you want, Doc?
Hey, Fellas.
1051
00:57:33,266 --> 00:57:34,849
Look, I'm a little embarrassed
1052
00:57:34,851 --> 00:57:37,353
by my behavior earlier...
I got a little crazy there.
1053
00:57:37,770 --> 00:57:41,939
It's just been a long day of
excruciating pain and humiliation.
1054
00:57:41,941 --> 00:57:44,494
I feel bad about the way I behaved.
1055
00:57:44,694 --> 00:57:47,278
I feel better now because being
with you guys means the world to me.
1056
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:51,032
As a token of my appreciation, I made
you guys these frosty pina coladas.
1057
00:57:51,034 --> 00:57:53,334
One for everybody.
Get in there!
1058
00:57:53,336 --> 00:57:56,255
Can you get me one?
Guys...
1059
00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:58,758
Thanks, Man.
Look how frothy these are.
1060
00:57:59,042 --> 00:58:02,378
Shelly did a fun thing. Look, Bob.
Thank you, Bro. Wow.
1061
00:58:02,595 --> 00:58:04,597
Mmm. It's different, but it's good.
1062
00:58:04,931 --> 00:58:07,298
Creamy, ooh.
I like it.
1063
00:58:07,300 --> 00:58:10,851
My mom always said, "If the drinks are
free, drink till you can't walk or see."
1064
00:58:10,853 --> 00:58:13,856
Shelly, are you good?
I thought you were on the wagon.
1065
00:58:14,223 --> 00:58:15,808
Never been better, Buddy.
Never been better.
1066
00:58:16,309 --> 00:58:18,811
This is exactly what I needed.
1067
00:58:19,228 --> 00:58:21,280
All right. Don't get too drunk
and then whip your pants down
1068
00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:23,981
and start playing with your empty
bean bag chair. All right.
1069
00:58:23,983 --> 00:58:27,120
Hey, to Shelly. To Shelly Belly.
Love you, Shel.
1070
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:28,404
Glad to have you back, Brother.
1071
00:58:28,905 --> 00:58:30,907
Cheers, cheers.
1072
00:58:31,407 --> 00:58:33,376
Yo, Doc, I think you need to have
1073
00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:36,577
a doctor look at that thing.
It's starting to drip.
1074
00:58:36,579 --> 00:58:37,712
I am a doctor, Durf.
1075
00:58:37,714 --> 00:58:38,998
So good, Man!
1076
00:58:39,382 --> 00:58:40,416
I didn't mean it like that.
1077
00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:42,833
So how's La La Land
treating you, Bro?
1078
00:58:42,835 --> 00:58:44,253
Yeah, Hollywood Man.
1079
00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:46,639
Pretty darn good.
I'm feeling blessed.
1080
00:58:47,140 --> 00:58:50,141
I got a lot of things coming down
the pipeline. That's great, Man.
1081
00:58:50,143 --> 00:58:53,146
Couple things in postproduction.
What's postproduction?
1082
00:58:53,646 --> 00:58:55,982
That's a good question.
Editing,
1083
00:58:56,182 --> 00:58:58,317
color timing, scoring...
1084
00:58:58,684 --> 00:58:59,769
Scoring, verb...
1085
00:59:00,269 --> 00:59:02,269
What Zane does every night
with the ladies.
1086
00:59:05,775 --> 00:59:07,360
You know what you should do?
1087
00:59:07,860 --> 00:59:10,861
Seriously.
Work with Mark Wahlberg.
1088
00:59:10,863 --> 00:59:12,198
Guy is money.
1089
00:59:12,582 --> 00:59:14,951
He kicks all kinds of ass.
1090
00:59:15,118 --> 00:59:17,503
He's got that itty-bitty waist,
but he seems like an accessible guy.
1091
00:59:17,703 --> 00:59:19,088
Like, the kind of guy
you can talk to.
1092
00:59:19,255 --> 00:59:20,840
That's a really helpful tip.
Thank you.
1093
00:59:21,207 --> 00:59:22,790
Yeah, for sure.
1094
00:59:22,792 --> 00:59:24,594
But seriously, like,
what do you got, Durfy?
1095
00:59:24,794 --> 00:59:27,380
Uh, I was told not to
let anybody watch this,
1096
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,882
but I did get an early cut of something
1097
00:59:30,299 --> 00:59:32,635
that I have on my phone if you
guys want to take a little look.
1098
00:59:32,885 --> 00:59:34,969
All right.
1099
00:59:34,971 --> 00:59:37,972
You can't tell anyone
you saw this, though, okay?
1100
00:59:37,974 --> 00:59:41,277
This is what we call
an industrial in the biz.
1101
00:59:43,529 --> 00:59:45,029
Oh, she's pregnant.
1102
00:59:45,031 --> 00:59:47,898
Who's that handsome guy?
1103
00:59:47,900 --> 00:59:50,069
Black-and-white. Nice touch.
Artsy.
1104
00:59:50,236 --> 00:59:51,819
She's cute.
1105
00:59:51,821 --> 00:59:54,290
It's likeRaging Bull.
1106
00:59:54,624 --> 00:59:56,626
It's got a great twist, too,
you guys.
1107
01:00:05,084 --> 01:00:06,669
Oh, God, she's so good.
1108
01:00:07,170 --> 01:00:09,172
I really liked working with her.
1109
01:00:14,594 --> 01:00:16,177
Um...
1110
01:00:16,179 --> 01:00:18,179
Oh, man.
Wow.
1111
01:00:18,181 --> 01:00:20,183
Man, she gets me
when she gives that look.
1112
01:00:20,683 --> 01:00:22,683
What do you think?
Yeah, it's...
1113
01:00:22,685 --> 01:00:24,103
Let me get this straight.
1114
01:00:24,487 --> 01:00:27,023
You stay at home,
and your wife goes to war?
1115
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,860
Yeah, well, um, you know,
somebody has to watch the baby.
1116
01:00:31,110 --> 01:00:32,995
I didn't write it.
I just act in it, so...
1117
01:00:33,496 --> 01:00:35,832
No, totally. America thanks
you for your service, Man.
1118
01:00:36,165 --> 01:00:39,416
How do you make yourself cry?
On the day, I wasn't able to,
1119
01:00:39,418 --> 01:00:41,787
so they just put a drop in
your eye.
1120
01:00:42,038 --> 01:00:44,090
You didn't cry?
Well, not on that day.
1121
01:00:44,457 --> 01:00:46,042
Wow!
I always though you actually cried.
1122
01:00:46,459 --> 01:00:49,543
I think it looks real.
Come on. This...
1123
01:00:49,545 --> 01:00:52,546
We're his best friends.
We owe him honesty here.
1124
01:00:52,548 --> 01:00:56,050
Durf, I love you.
That's a terrible commercial.
1125
01:00:56,052 --> 01:00:59,388
That's 100% Rotten Tomatoes, Man.
1126
01:00:59,639 --> 01:01:01,722
Yeah, I have other things
maybe you'll dig.
1127
01:01:01,724 --> 01:01:03,643
Of course you will,
and they'll be awesome.
1128
01:01:03,976 --> 01:01:06,062
No, we're all pro-troops,
but that was anti-acting.
1129
01:01:06,562 --> 01:01:08,981
That's good, though, Dude.
Next time, Durf.
1130
01:01:09,365 --> 01:01:10,948
I'm kidding, Dude.
1131
01:01:10,950 --> 01:01:13,236
I'll get an eyedropper, Dude.
Don't well up.
1132
01:01:13,486 --> 01:01:16,070
I loved it. Hey, it's time
to announce the finalists.
1133
01:01:16,072 --> 01:01:17,907
Come on. Let's go.
This is go time.
1134
01:01:18,207 --> 01:01:19,625
Come on, Baby.
Come on. Let's go.
1135
01:01:20,993 --> 01:01:22,745
I liked your movie, Durf.
1136
01:01:22,962 --> 01:01:24,914
Thanks, Man.
1137
01:01:26,299 --> 01:01:28,799
All right, Boys, the moment
we've all been waiting for.
1138
01:01:28,801 --> 01:01:31,302
As you can see, I stand
among these tiki torches.
1139
01:01:31,304 --> 01:01:33,804
These three tiki torches
represent the three guys
1140
01:01:33,806 --> 01:01:36,307
who will be competing
in tomorrow's final event.
1141
01:01:36,309 --> 01:01:38,809
If I call your name, you're in.
Ready?
1142
01:01:38,811 --> 01:01:40,646
And remember,
we're playing for this.
1143
01:01:40,897 --> 01:01:42,765
Yeah.
Hell, yeah.
1144
01:01:43,015 --> 01:01:46,402
Say my name. The first finalist
in this year's Buddy Games is...
1145
01:01:46,602 --> 01:01:48,686
Bob Schmidt.
1146
01:01:48,688 --> 01:01:50,690
Is there a Bob Schm...
Oh, that's me.
1147
01:01:51,190 --> 01:01:53,109
That's me.
1148
01:01:53,409 --> 01:01:55,912
All right, game one, game one.
1149
01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:58,114
Hey, check it.
The score's right here.
1150
01:01:58,364 --> 01:02:01,250
And the next finalist is...
1151
01:02:01,450 --> 01:02:02,835
Dixon Bender.
1152
01:02:03,085 --> 01:02:05,169
Yes!
What?
1153
01:02:05,171 --> 01:02:07,671
I did better than Bender did.
I did not see that coming.
1154
01:02:07,673 --> 01:02:09,625
Yep, I saw it coming.
I want a recount.
1155
01:02:10,042 --> 01:02:11,460
You'd be up here if you held
your shit the longest.
1156
01:02:11,761 --> 01:02:13,629
That's right.
And the third finalist
1157
01:02:13,846 --> 01:02:15,930
may not be the most
athletic guy here.
1158
01:02:15,932 --> 01:02:18,267
In fact, he's probably the
least athletic guy here. Doc.
1159
01:02:18,467 --> 01:02:21,470
Oh, no. That's not good for me.
He demonstrated nerves of steel
1160
01:02:21,804 --> 01:02:24,807
in the face of dragons.
It's Shelly Baldinger!
1161
01:02:25,107 --> 01:02:27,191
Yeah!
You got to be kidding me!
1162
01:02:27,193 --> 01:02:29,693
What? Are you joking?
Yep.
1163
01:02:29,695 --> 01:02:30,980
That's bullshit.
1164
01:02:31,197 --> 01:02:32,281
Don't look so down, Durf.
1165
01:02:32,782 --> 01:02:35,282
Maybe there's a tampon
commercial in your future.
1166
01:02:35,284 --> 01:02:37,737
Yeah. Anything with
a vagina, you know?
1167
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,487
Or a fake baby.
You fuckers.
1168
01:02:40,489 --> 01:02:43,793
I don't know how I'm not a finalist.
1169
01:02:44,293 --> 01:02:47,077
I want a recount.
Hey, who wants a pina colada?
1170
01:02:47,079 --> 01:02:50,047
I want a pina colada!
Who wants a pina colada?
1171
01:02:50,049 --> 01:02:52,468
When I say "Pina," you say "Colada"!
1172
01:02:52,969 --> 01:02:55,254
Pina! Pina!
Colada! Colada!
1173
01:03:50,726 --> 01:03:51,694
Hey.
1174
01:03:54,230 --> 01:03:56,232
Hey. Shelly.
1175
01:03:57,233 --> 01:03:59,318
Shelly.
1176
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,154
Guys. Guys, come here.
Shelly's out cold here.
1177
01:04:04,156 --> 01:04:06,492
Oh, you know what that means.
Balls and gravy!
1178
01:04:06,992 --> 01:04:09,493
No, no, no, no. I'm serious.
I can't tell if he's breathing.
1179
01:04:09,495 --> 01:04:11,995
What? He's just passed out.
All right, get out of my way.
1180
01:04:11,997 --> 01:04:13,999
Let me handle this.
Let me handle this.
1181
01:04:17,219 --> 01:04:18,721
Oh, no.
What?
1182
01:04:19,055 --> 01:04:20,973
This is bad, Guys.
Give it to us straight, Doc.
1183
01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,426
It's an impingement between
C3 and C4.
1184
01:04:23,926 --> 01:04:25,311
Are you kidding me?
Is he breathing?
1185
01:04:25,728 --> 01:04:27,596
Yes, he's breathing.
He's fine.
1186
01:04:27,897 --> 01:04:29,398
He's just a big, ugly baby.
1187
01:04:29,732 --> 01:04:31,567
He's fine.
He's sleeping.
1188
01:04:32,601 --> 01:04:35,521
Where's... Where's Durfy?
1189
01:04:35,771 --> 01:04:37,654
I don't know.
That's odd.
1190
01:04:37,656 --> 01:04:40,107
Durfy!
Durf!
1191
01:04:40,109 --> 01:04:42,695
Durfy! Durfy!
Durf! Durf!
1192
01:04:44,697 --> 01:04:46,697
This is bullshit.
1193
01:04:46,699 --> 01:04:49,168
I'm gonna pack my bags
and get out of here.
1194
01:04:54,707 --> 01:04:56,709
What the hell is that?
1195
01:05:03,682 --> 01:05:05,134
What the fuck?
1196
01:05:05,468 --> 01:05:07,468
He's not out there.
His car's still here.
1197
01:05:07,470 --> 01:05:09,937
He's not in his room.
I called him. He didn't answer.
1198
01:05:09,939 --> 01:05:11,891
Where would he be?
Oh, you guys.
1199
01:05:12,224 --> 01:05:13,309
What?
The commercial.
1200
01:05:13,692 --> 01:05:15,275
His commercial about lady Marines.
1201
01:05:15,277 --> 01:05:17,446
Dude, our own military might
attack us over that commercial.
1202
01:05:17,780 --> 01:05:20,282
We shit all over it.
We were being honest. It sucked.
1203
01:05:20,566 --> 01:05:23,650
We didn't have to be that honest.
You know how sensitive he is.
1204
01:05:23,652 --> 01:05:25,488
Fuck!
He probably wandered off somewhere.
1205
01:05:25,788 --> 01:05:28,491
We got to go looking for him.
Somebody's got to watch Shelly.
1206
01:05:28,707 --> 01:05:29,658
The doctor should.
1207
01:05:29,959 --> 01:05:30,910
I want Bender to stay.
1208
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:32,161
You hear that?
What'd you say?
1209
01:05:32,545 --> 01:05:34,046
He picked Bender.
1210
01:05:34,463 --> 01:05:36,499
He said "Doctor."
He said "Bender." I heard him.
1211
01:05:36,916 --> 01:05:38,999
Bender, you stay here. Stay with him.
Are you kidding me?
1212
01:05:39,001 --> 01:05:40,886
Grab the torches, Boys.
Let's go find him.
1213
01:05:41,137 --> 01:05:43,222
What if he wakes up?
Do I have to talk to him?
1214
01:05:46,225 --> 01:05:47,176
Stay back!
1215
01:05:51,730 --> 01:05:53,232
Leave me alone!
1216
01:05:54,733 --> 01:05:56,235
Oh! Shelter.
1217
01:06:22,378 --> 01:06:23,879
Durfy?
1218
01:06:25,381 --> 01:06:27,883
Durf!
Durf and Turf?
1219
01:06:29,051 --> 01:06:31,103
What is that? What is that?
1220
01:06:35,724 --> 01:06:37,309
How's it getting in the door?
1221
01:06:40,312 --> 01:06:42,481
What?
1222
01:06:50,573 --> 01:06:52,825
Where are you?
1223
01:06:56,295 --> 01:06:57,796
You hear that?
1224
01:06:58,297 --> 01:06:59,798
Oh, my God.
1225
01:07:00,249 --> 01:07:02,299
That way.
Let's go get our boy.
1226
01:07:02,301 --> 01:07:03,669
We're coming, Durf!
1227
01:07:28,861 --> 01:07:30,446
What?
1228
01:07:31,697 --> 01:07:33,249
That's weird.
1229
01:07:45,844 --> 01:07:47,796
Don't make me do this.
1230
01:07:48,213 --> 01:07:49,598
Please!
1231
01:07:49,798 --> 01:07:52,384
Okay, I'm going to let you go.
1232
01:07:52,885 --> 01:07:54,768
Stop fighting, okay?
1233
01:07:54,770 --> 01:07:56,388
Stay down.
1234
01:07:58,691 --> 01:08:00,693
Whore! Okay!
1235
01:08:03,729 --> 01:08:06,148
Die you little...
That's a tiny thing!
1236
01:08:06,615 --> 01:08:08,951
Durfy...
Knock it off, Man!
1237
01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:10,786
Stop, Man, stop!
1238
01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:14,123
Did he kill it?
1239
01:08:15,457 --> 01:08:16,542
Oh, my God!
1240
01:08:17,042 --> 01:08:19,411
You guys, that thing
was trying to kill me.
1241
01:08:19,712 --> 01:08:21,213
Oh, my God.
That little thing right there?
1242
01:08:21,580 --> 01:08:23,632
Yeah, it looks cute,
but it came in that shed
1243
01:08:23,999 --> 01:08:25,584
and got my ear and my face.
1244
01:08:26,085 --> 01:08:28,470
Holy mother of God.
You look like shit, Man.
1245
01:08:28,754 --> 01:08:30,339
Is that right?
I look like shit?
1246
01:08:30,839 --> 01:08:32,508
My commercial sucks. Do you
want to say anything else?
1247
01:08:33,008 --> 01:08:35,511
I was just busting...
No, no, I heard you loud and clear.
1248
01:08:36,011 --> 01:08:37,813
I heard you loud and clear.
The commercial sucked.
1249
01:08:38,013 --> 01:08:40,065
We were just busting your chops.
You know what else?
1250
01:08:40,599 --> 01:08:42,518
I'm not fucking making it
in Hollywood, okay?
1251
01:08:42,851 --> 01:08:45,437
Are you happy?
I don't have an agent.
1252
01:08:45,938 --> 01:08:48,739
I self-submit to extras
casting, okay?
1253
01:08:48,741 --> 01:08:50,691
I sell tape.
1254
01:08:50,693 --> 01:08:53,744
And right before I got here,
I shit the bed
1255
01:08:53,746 --> 01:08:56,747
on probably the best opportunity
I'm ever gonna have for a CW pilot.
1256
01:08:56,749 --> 01:08:59,700
And it's fucking gone, and that's
it, okay? So I fucking suck!
1257
01:08:59,702 --> 01:09:02,452
You don't suck.
You feel fucking funny now?
1258
01:09:02,454 --> 01:09:04,421
You want to make some
fucking jokes about that?
1259
01:09:04,423 --> 01:09:07,343
Durfy, calm down.
You're a little fired up right now.
1260
01:09:07,843 --> 01:09:10,346
No, no, no. Don't calm down.
Let him get it out.
1261
01:09:10,846 --> 01:09:15,217
What is this, Durf, huh? What is this,
your fucking goodbye speech? Huh?
1262
01:09:15,517 --> 01:09:17,936
We throw a little tough love your
way, and you throw in the towel?
1263
01:09:18,187 --> 01:09:20,771
You want to be an actor or not?
Start filming this.
1264
01:09:20,773 --> 01:09:24,274
You want to fucking be an actor
on a CW pilot, Durfy?
1265
01:09:24,276 --> 01:09:27,112
Use it! Use it!
Show me! Show me!
1266
01:09:27,396 --> 01:09:29,446
You guys, I just got attacked
by a fucking mink.
1267
01:09:29,448 --> 01:09:31,867
I'm not auditioning
in the woods, okay?
1268
01:09:34,703 --> 01:09:36,703
I'm not gonna do this!
Do it right now!
1269
01:09:36,705 --> 01:09:39,658
You guys knew what I was the whole
time, and you didn't tell me?
1270
01:09:42,127 --> 01:09:43,912
I thought I had cancer, damn it.
1271
01:09:44,129 --> 01:09:46,713
Okay, so I'm a mutant?
1272
01:09:46,715 --> 01:09:48,717
So I'm gonna dedicate
the rest of my life...
1273
01:09:49,718 --> 01:09:52,219
To putting those who would do
ill to others
1274
01:09:52,221 --> 01:09:54,721
straight in the fucking ground.
1275
01:09:54,723 --> 01:09:57,226
And I don't care if I have to
die doing it.
1276
01:09:59,728 --> 01:10:02,514
John Durfy Jr, Mutant Institute.
1277
01:10:02,765 --> 01:10:04,767
Yeah!
1278
01:10:05,100 --> 01:10:06,933
You guys, that last part was improv.
1279
01:10:06,935 --> 01:10:09,236
Yeah, Durfy! Yeah!
1280
01:10:09,238 --> 01:10:12,191
That's not even in the script.
It's not even in the script.
1281
01:10:27,873 --> 01:10:28,841
Hi, Dixon.
1282
01:10:31,844 --> 01:10:33,345
Hey, Shelly.
1283
01:10:34,847 --> 01:10:38,133
Have an extra bowl of
Cuckoo Puffs this morning?
1284
01:10:38,350 --> 01:10:41,220
When are you gonna learn
to shut the fuck up, Bender?
1285
01:10:41,437 --> 01:10:43,439
Why am I here?
1286
01:10:43,806 --> 01:10:45,891
That is a really good question.
What are you doing here?
1287
01:10:46,391 --> 01:10:49,228
You're not supposed to be here.
I was very clear about that.
1288
01:10:49,528 --> 01:10:51,611
I have every right to be here.
I'm one of your oldest friends,
1289
01:10:51,613 --> 01:10:54,614
and I'm here to preserve
the sanctity of our friendship
1290
01:10:54,616 --> 01:10:56,869
and to beat your ass
in the Buddy Games.
1291
01:10:57,119 --> 01:10:59,488
I'm gonna wipe your ass
out there today.
1292
01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:01,156
You're gonna wipe my ass?
1293
01:11:01,457 --> 01:11:02,875
Yeah, with your face.
1294
01:11:03,075 --> 01:11:05,158
You're gonna wipe my ass
with my face.
1295
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:06,626
Got it, Bud.
1296
01:11:06,628 --> 01:11:09,631
And I'm sure that Bob
will make that happen.
1297
01:11:10,082 --> 01:11:12,332
What's that supposed to mean? You don't
think this is all rigged for you?
1298
01:11:12,334 --> 01:11:16,221
Like you didn't know that? Look, you
made your point. Just let me out.
1299
01:11:19,925 --> 01:11:21,393
What the fuck are you doing?
1300
01:11:21,677 --> 01:11:22,728
You know what your problem is, Bender?
1301
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:27,848
You don't know when to shut
the fuck up!
1302
01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:30,569
No! You crazy fuck!
1303
01:11:30,936 --> 01:11:32,938
No! All right, no!
Yeah!
1304
01:11:33,438 --> 01:11:35,324
I won't say anything else.
I'll stop talking.
1305
01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:38,777
Oh, I really want to
believe you when you say
1306
01:11:39,244 --> 01:11:43,163
that the sanctity of our lifelong
friendship means something to you,
1307
01:11:43,165 --> 01:11:44,166
but...
1308
01:11:45,667 --> 01:11:46,668
I don't.
1309
01:11:49,705 --> 01:11:51,788
Is that supposed to scare me?
1310
01:11:51,790 --> 01:11:53,290
When's the last time
you've driven a car?
1311
01:11:53,292 --> 01:11:55,093
Your mom dropped you off here.
1312
01:11:55,344 --> 01:11:56,378
Don't you talk about my mama.
1313
01:11:56,795 --> 01:11:58,714
Then get your fat ass
out of my mom's van!
1314
01:11:59,014 --> 01:11:59,963
You say you're sorry.
1315
01:11:59,965 --> 01:12:01,133
Sorry for what?
1316
01:12:01,383 --> 01:12:02,267
For ruining my life.
1317
01:12:02,518 --> 01:12:03,936
I didn't ruin your life!
1318
01:12:04,219 --> 01:12:05,270
You fucking say it!
1319
01:12:05,687 --> 01:12:06,638
Fuck you!
1320
01:12:09,808 --> 01:12:12,060
No! No!
Wait, wait, wait!
1321
01:12:12,394 --> 01:12:14,561
I didn't shoot you!
I didn't shoot you!
1322
01:12:14,563 --> 01:12:15,531
I didn't do...
1323
01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:20,118
No!
1324
01:12:28,210 --> 01:12:29,578
What did you say?
1325
01:12:29,878 --> 01:12:31,246
I said you're a piece of shit!
1326
01:12:31,496 --> 01:12:33,582
No, that's not what you said.
You said you didn't do it.
1327
01:12:33,966 --> 01:12:37,052
Of course I didn't do it, Man.
I'm not an animal.
1328
01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:40,556
I wouldn't shoot a man in the
balls, let alone my friend.
1329
01:12:41,056 --> 01:12:43,475
I love balls.
I have two of them.
1330
01:12:43,809 --> 01:12:48,180
Okay. You didn't do it?
Who did?
1331
01:12:50,515 --> 01:12:51,483
Nikki.
1332
01:12:52,401 --> 01:12:53,685
Bullshit.
1333
01:12:58,690 --> 01:12:59,658
What the fuck are you talking about?
1334
01:13:00,576 --> 01:13:03,076
Why don't you teach him a lesson.
1335
01:13:03,078 --> 01:13:04,997
From us. Come on.
It'll be fun.
1336
01:13:05,364 --> 01:13:08,417
Rest it. Let it sit there.
Right on the nose.
1337
01:13:10,619 --> 01:13:12,004
What if I did it right there?
1338
01:13:12,204 --> 01:13:13,288
Shoot him.
Ooh.
1339
01:13:13,789 --> 01:13:15,791
But I couldn't do it.
1340
01:13:16,792 --> 01:13:19,211
So she took the gun from me
and pulled the trigger.
1341
01:13:27,886 --> 01:13:30,806
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What did you do?
1342
01:13:31,139 --> 01:13:33,058
Then why wouldn't
you say something, huh?
1343
01:13:33,308 --> 01:13:35,277
Why would you protect her?
1344
01:13:35,527 --> 01:13:38,730
I was protecting you.
Protecting me?
1345
01:13:38,897 --> 01:13:41,984
Your marriage. If you wanted to
protect me, you could've stopped her.
1346
01:13:42,401 --> 01:13:45,287
Do you think I knew that she was
gonna shoot you in the scrotum?
1347
01:13:45,454 --> 01:13:48,657
All right, I could've taken
the gun away, but I didn't.
1348
01:13:49,157 --> 01:13:50,993
Can somebody get me out of
this fucking thing, Man?
1349
01:13:51,293 --> 01:13:52,878
I got it. I got it.
1350
01:13:54,796 --> 01:13:58,665
Do you want to know why I didn't?
1351
01:13:58,667 --> 01:14:01,386
Maybe it's because you were being
1352
01:14:01,803 --> 01:14:04,673
a drunk, obnoxious asshole.
This fucking guy.
1353
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:07,392
Or maybe I did it because you
put your balls on our foreheads
1354
01:14:07,809 --> 01:14:09,261
for years and just laughed it up.
1355
01:14:09,845 --> 01:14:12,347
Or maybe I liked
1356
01:14:12,898 --> 01:14:14,266
that you thought it was me
all these years.
1357
01:14:14,650 --> 01:14:17,069
Because whether or not
I pulled the trigger,
1358
01:14:17,319 --> 01:14:20,103
you got what you deserved, Bud.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.
1359
01:14:20,105 --> 01:14:23,273
He doesn't mean that. Bender, you
don't mean that. Nobody deserves...
1360
01:14:23,275 --> 01:14:25,525
Guys, I got to come clean.
In '95,
1361
01:14:25,527 --> 01:14:29,331
when I won the cup,
I was juicing.
1362
01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:32,668
I got to get it off my chest. I don't want
you to scratch my name off the cup though.
1363
01:14:33,085 --> 01:14:36,588
Nobody's gonna scratch anything
off anything. Shell Bell,
1364
01:14:37,005 --> 01:14:40,342
I think it's pretty clear
that Bender feels terribly.
1365
01:14:40,542 --> 01:14:42,627
I mean, he gifted you
his own personal spank bank.
1366
01:14:43,128 --> 01:14:44,546
That's a gesture.
1367
01:14:44,846 --> 01:14:46,880
Am I right? That was a real gesture.
Yeah.
1368
01:14:46,882 --> 01:14:48,717
You're right.
Yeah, which I want back.
1369
01:14:48,934 --> 01:14:50,519
You're unfit to raise my children.
1370
01:14:50,886 --> 01:14:52,971
That's not gonna happen?
What do you mean?
1371
01:14:53,271 --> 01:14:55,273
Can't do it.
I already re-gifted it.
1372
01:14:55,607 --> 01:14:56,808
To who?
What?
1373
01:14:57,142 --> 01:14:58,725
You like those pina coladas?
1374
01:14:58,727 --> 01:15:00,228
Mmm. Little bit of Bender in there?
1375
01:15:01,229 --> 01:15:02,729
Oh, no.
1376
01:15:02,731 --> 01:15:05,033
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
1377
01:15:05,233 --> 01:15:07,235
You're joking? That's a joke?
1378
01:15:07,569 --> 01:15:09,154
Oh, my...
Oh, my God.
1379
01:15:09,538 --> 01:15:12,574
No.
I knew I tasted jizz!
1380
01:15:12,991 --> 01:15:15,408
Bob, get him back
in the loony bin right now.
1381
01:15:15,410 --> 01:15:17,662
Call his mom
and have her pick him up.
1382
01:15:17,913 --> 01:15:20,165
That is grounds for disqualification.
I'm calling the cops.
1383
01:15:20,332 --> 01:15:24,219
What are you going to tell the cops?
"Hey, Officer, I drank my own jizz"?
1384
01:15:24,419 --> 01:15:25,504
Hold up. Hold up.
1385
01:15:27,255 --> 01:15:29,558
Why are we surprised by this?
1386
01:15:30,058 --> 01:15:32,561
This is the kind of stupid shit that
happens every time we get together.
1387
01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:36,064
I mean, I never thought I was
gonna forgive you guys for this.
1388
01:15:37,733 --> 01:15:39,768
I was so pissed at you guys.
Still a great piece.
1389
01:15:40,152 --> 01:15:42,104
You remember that one?
That was you guys.
1390
01:15:42,320 --> 01:15:45,071
Sons of bitches!
And this? Fucking...
1391
01:15:45,073 --> 01:15:47,743
Zac Efron.
That was your idea.
1392
01:15:47,993 --> 01:15:48,910
You did that on your own, Bro.
1393
01:15:49,244 --> 01:15:50,112
Your choice.
1394
01:15:50,328 --> 01:15:51,279
You wanted that.
1395
01:15:51,580 --> 01:15:53,913
You all gave me the...
No. No.
1396
01:15:53,915 --> 01:15:55,917
Look, the point is
that every time we get together,
1397
01:15:56,418 --> 01:15:57,917
we do something that
we regret in the moment,
1398
01:15:57,919 --> 01:16:00,420
but then we laugh about it
later, right?
1399
01:16:00,422 --> 01:16:03,708
That's why we keep coming back.
These are the games we play.
1400
01:16:03,959 --> 01:16:06,960
These are the memories that we live for.
And, yeah, we drank a little jizz...
1401
01:16:06,962 --> 01:16:08,380
We drank a lot of jizz.
1402
01:16:08,797 --> 01:16:10,132
We drank a lot of jizz.
1403
01:16:10,432 --> 01:16:11,714
I had a second pina colada.
1404
01:16:11,716 --> 01:16:14,801
And Shelly totaled Bender's
van, but you know what?
1405
01:16:14,803 --> 01:16:16,721
This too shall pass.
We will live on,
1406
01:16:17,055 --> 01:16:19,107
and this brotherhood
will never die.
1407
01:16:20,942 --> 01:16:24,110
And I fucking love it!
I love all of it.
1408
01:16:24,112 --> 01:16:25,897
And I've missed every one
of you assholes.
1409
01:16:26,314 --> 01:16:28,400
And I wouldn't trade this shit
for anything, so...
1410
01:16:28,900 --> 01:16:30,735
I suggest that each one of you
look in the mirror
1411
01:16:31,036 --> 01:16:32,904
and think about what this
brotherhood means to you.
1412
01:16:33,121 --> 01:16:34,623
Especially you, Durfy.
1413
01:16:35,207 --> 01:16:37,159
Your ear, it's, like, hanging...
1414
01:16:37,659 --> 01:16:39,544
Is it injured?
'Cause it doesn't feel good.
1415
01:16:39,878 --> 01:16:42,547
You might want peroxide...
You think that's gonna read on camera?
1416
01:16:42,881 --> 01:16:45,250
Not if the camera's pointed at
someone else. Thanks for inviting me.
1417
01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:47,584
You're a good person.
Yeah, yeah, you too.
1418
01:16:47,586 --> 01:16:50,555
Thanks for letting me play, and thanks
for the pina coladas and my ear.
1419
01:16:50,755 --> 01:16:51,673
It's just been really great.
1420
01:16:51,973 --> 01:16:53,341
All right.
1421
01:16:53,508 --> 01:16:55,594
The rest of you get a little sleep,
1422
01:16:56,094 --> 01:16:57,512
because come sundown,
it's game on.
1423
01:17:00,565 --> 01:17:03,149
Not so much you two.
Nope, we are sleeping in.
1424
01:17:03,151 --> 01:17:05,652
Didn't make the cut.
1425
01:17:05,654 --> 01:17:07,654
Shelly, you went too far.
1426
01:17:07,656 --> 01:17:10,108
Oh, I'm gonna throw up.
Yeah, Shelly.
1427
01:17:10,492 --> 01:17:12,077
Well played.
1428
01:17:34,266 --> 01:17:35,600
So here we are, Boys.
1429
01:17:37,469 --> 01:17:38,937
The endgame.
It's simple.
1430
01:17:39,304 --> 01:17:40,887
First one to lay their hands
1431
01:17:40,889 --> 01:17:43,389
on that buddy bucket
at the end of this field
1432
01:17:43,391 --> 01:17:45,193
wins all the cash.
1433
01:17:45,393 --> 01:17:46,893
What's with the suit?
1434
01:17:46,895 --> 01:17:48,862
Oh, this old thing?
1435
01:17:48,864 --> 01:17:53,118
It's a one-inch-thick
superpolyamide body armor suit.
1436
01:17:53,318 --> 01:17:54,901
Why? What the fuck
are we doing now?
1437
01:17:54,903 --> 01:17:57,122
Well, this little baby
can absorb a bullet
1438
01:17:57,539 --> 01:17:59,124
from ten feet away.
What?
1439
01:17:59,541 --> 01:18:01,074
All we're gonna be using
are simple bows and arrows.
1440
01:18:01,076 --> 01:18:02,544
Give it a try.
1441
01:18:04,379 --> 01:18:06,379
You want me to shoot you with an arrow?
Yeah.
1442
01:18:06,381 --> 01:18:07,883
Okay.
1443
01:18:08,383 --> 01:18:09,885
There you go.
1444
01:18:12,837 --> 01:18:13,922
I like this already.
1445
01:18:18,677 --> 01:18:20,095
Oh, no!
1446
01:18:20,896 --> 01:18:22,647
Bob!
What the fuck?
1447
01:18:22,847 --> 01:18:23,732
Holy shit!
1448
01:18:23,932 --> 01:18:24,849
Oh, my God.
1449
01:18:25,066 --> 01:18:26,935
Bob! Oh, my...
1450
01:18:27,185 --> 01:18:28,851
Oh! Help!
1451
01:18:33,775 --> 01:18:35,777
You should see the looks
on your faces!
1452
01:18:36,194 --> 01:18:39,281
I'm just kidding. Oh, my...
Dude, what the fuck, Man?
1453
01:18:39,698 --> 01:18:41,783
That's the game.
That's the game.
1454
01:18:42,167 --> 01:18:45,251
You got six arrows right over here.
Use them wisely,
1455
01:18:45,253 --> 01:18:47,589
because if you get stuck
with an arrow, you're out.
1456
01:18:48,089 --> 01:18:49,958
Ten minutes, shotgun start,
so suit up, Boys.
1457
01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:51,376
Whoo!
1458
01:18:52,377 --> 01:18:54,377
Ow. Bob, you're...
1459
01:18:54,379 --> 01:18:56,881
Bob's not well mentally,
I don't...
1460
01:19:03,805 --> 01:19:05,388
I don't know who to root for.
1461
01:19:05,390 --> 01:19:07,225
I hate them all.
Yeah, it's tough.
1462
01:19:07,442 --> 01:19:09,525
I'm going Bender.
You're gonna go Bender?
1463
01:19:09,527 --> 01:19:12,314
Bender. He lost his mom.
He lives in a van.
1464
01:19:12,480 --> 01:19:15,066
He's had hemorrhoids
since we were, what, six?
1465
01:19:15,567 --> 01:19:18,486
How many fucking six-year-olds do
you know that have hemorrhoids?
1466
01:19:20,622 --> 01:19:23,992
Hey, everybody. Welcome back.
1467
01:19:26,962 --> 01:19:28,546
You know what's fucking crazy?
1468
01:19:29,047 --> 01:19:30,546
Like, seriously?
1469
01:19:30,548 --> 01:19:32,968
How slimming black really is.
1470
01:19:33,301 --> 01:19:34,884
One little announcement.
1471
01:19:34,886 --> 01:19:37,172
That field is live.
Real arrows will be flying.
1472
01:19:37,339 --> 01:19:39,341
So, please, if you could
stay behind these flags
1473
01:19:39,674 --> 01:19:41,643
until you can see that
champion bucket is raised.
1474
01:19:41,926 --> 01:19:44,344
Smell weird to you?
Oh, fuck, Man!
1475
01:19:44,346 --> 01:19:47,399
Oh, let me get a shot really quick.
You got any schnapps?
1476
01:19:47,599 --> 01:19:50,683
Why do you have a nut cup? Aren't
those supposed to protect testicles?
1477
01:19:50,685 --> 01:19:54,072
Aren't minivans meant for mothers?
Oh, that's right. You don't have a minivan.
1478
01:19:54,356 --> 01:19:56,741
Yeah, thanks. I don't have a mother
either. You're about to lose.
1479
01:19:57,242 --> 01:19:58,691
You're about to burp up
your own cum bubbles.
1480
01:19:58,693 --> 01:20:00,161
You're gonna fucking lose, Man.
1481
01:20:00,612 --> 01:20:02,580
This is your day...
1482
01:20:07,452 --> 01:20:09,037
Bye, Suckers!
1483
01:20:21,633 --> 01:20:24,719
Let's go, Babe! Come on.
You got this. Let's go!
1484
01:20:41,986 --> 01:20:43,905
Okay, Babe, you got this!
1485
01:20:44,372 --> 01:20:45,373
Let's go, Baby!
1486
01:20:48,209 --> 01:20:50,995
Ah!
1487
01:20:53,248 --> 01:20:54,666
Oh, my God.
1488
01:20:54,966 --> 01:20:56,549
Suck on that, Richie Rich!
1489
01:20:56,551 --> 01:20:59,421
Bob!
1490
01:21:01,723 --> 01:21:02,757
Bob! Bob!
No, wait...
1491
01:21:04,225 --> 01:21:05,927
Shit just got real.
1492
01:21:17,322 --> 01:21:19,739
Okay.
Shelly's sucking wind right now.
1493
01:21:19,741 --> 01:21:21,743
He's not gonna be able
to shoot for shit.
1494
01:21:22,243 --> 01:21:24,243
It's now or never.
1495
01:21:24,245 --> 01:21:25,613
Let's go, Bender.
1496
01:21:26,998 --> 01:21:29,501
We already know how
this will end, Bender!
1497
01:21:30,001 --> 01:21:32,504
I own you! I always have!
1498
01:21:34,372 --> 01:21:36,873
You always said,
"There's next year," Shelly.
1499
01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:40,259
Well, guess what?
It is next year!
1500
01:21:40,261 --> 01:21:45,465
I guess it boils down to
who's got the bigger balls.
1501
01:21:45,467 --> 01:21:47,852
Well, that'd definitely
be you, Pal.
1502
01:21:48,219 --> 01:21:50,605
No, no, no.
Ladies first.
1503
01:21:52,941 --> 01:21:55,226
Aaah! Fuck you!
1504
01:22:03,568 --> 01:22:05,651
Ooh, look at that fat back.
1505
01:22:05,653 --> 01:22:08,039
Here we go, Baby.
1506
01:22:10,658 --> 01:22:13,628
Damn it!
Crap!
1507
01:22:13,995 --> 01:22:16,581
Yeah, let's dance, Baby.
1508
01:22:18,917 --> 01:22:19,968
It's over. It's over.
1509
01:22:20,335 --> 01:22:22,837
Fuck you, Bender.
Fuck you.
1510
01:22:25,306 --> 01:22:27,225
Sorry about all that stuff
I said about you earlier, Buddy.
1511
01:22:29,177 --> 01:22:30,011
No, you're not, Sheldon.
1512
01:22:33,181 --> 01:22:34,599
Just end it.
1513
01:22:36,568 --> 01:22:39,020
Don't shoot me in the balls either.
That'd be super predictable and lame.
1514
01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:42,357
Always the bridesmaid,
never the bride.
1515
01:22:46,361 --> 01:22:49,030
You fucking caught that?
You were gonna shoot me in the face?
1516
01:22:58,289 --> 01:23:00,708
Get off me!
Get off me!
1517
01:23:00,959 --> 01:23:03,261
You son of a bitch!
1518
01:23:09,601 --> 01:23:12,937
Not this year!
1519
01:23:18,026 --> 01:23:20,895
No! No!
1520
01:23:21,229 --> 01:23:23,779
Never fuck with a man's minivan.
1521
01:23:33,575 --> 01:23:35,159
I got it. I got it.
1522
01:23:47,555 --> 01:23:50,141
Yeah!
1523
01:23:54,846 --> 01:23:57,899
Yeah!
I fucking did it!
1524
01:23:58,266 --> 01:24:00,852
You okay, Buddy?
No shame. You did good.
1525
01:24:01,352 --> 01:24:02,854
You did really good.
How many fingers is this?
1526
01:24:03,354 --> 01:24:05,690
Just not as good as that
motherfucker right there!
1527
01:24:06,190 --> 01:24:07,940
You just kicked him
in the head, Doc!
1528
01:24:07,942 --> 01:24:10,026
Bobby, are you okay?
1529
01:24:10,028 --> 01:24:12,747
Oh, my goodness, look at that.
Bob!
1530
01:24:12,947 --> 01:24:14,363
Oh, my God!
1531
01:24:14,365 --> 01:24:16,251
Oh, my God!
Oh, you came.
1532
01:24:16,751 --> 01:24:19,003
We've got to get you to the hospital.
No, no, I'm fine.
1533
01:24:19,203 --> 01:24:21,787
I really am. I'm fine.
Well, not great.
1534
01:24:21,789 --> 01:24:23,791
Oh, my God!
1535
01:24:24,292 --> 01:24:27,176
Oh, I know what you're gonna say,
that this whole thing was a mistake.
1536
01:24:27,178 --> 01:24:28,680
No, I wasn't gonna say that
at all.
1537
01:24:30,181 --> 01:24:31,549
Bobby, you needed this.
1538
01:24:31,849 --> 01:24:32,884
Really?
Yeah.
1539
01:24:33,268 --> 01:24:34,850
Now that it's out of your system,
1540
01:24:34,852 --> 01:24:36,638
we can just go back to our life,
you know? Yeah.
1541
01:24:36,888 --> 01:24:38,389
God, I love you.
1542
01:24:39,390 --> 01:24:41,776
I love you so much.
I love you too.
1543
01:24:42,060 --> 01:24:45,113
I was doing a lot of thinking
on my trip, and, um...
1544
01:24:46,447 --> 01:24:48,866
I think it's time, Bob.
1545
01:24:49,117 --> 01:24:50,201
Yeah.
1546
01:24:51,653 --> 01:24:54,122
All right, come on. Let's do this.
I... I can't.
1547
01:24:54,405 --> 01:24:56,407
Oh, God, because your... Your hand.
1548
01:24:56,741 --> 01:24:58,242
Let me help you.
Whoa!
1549
01:24:58,543 --> 01:25:00,626
Whoa! Yeah!
1550
01:25:00,628 --> 01:25:03,548
It is huge!
How much was it?
1551
01:25:03,915 --> 01:25:05,833
I don't know.
1552
01:25:06,050 --> 01:25:07,552
I don't know!
1553
01:25:10,421 --> 01:25:11,889
Okay, everybody's watching, Bob.
1554
01:25:12,840 --> 01:25:14,726
Look, Baby, I know
that you're scared.
1555
01:25:15,009 --> 01:25:17,428
That's okay, and I get it,
but you don't need to be.
1556
01:25:17,679 --> 01:25:19,514
These last few weeks, yeah,
they have been weird,
1557
01:25:19,731 --> 01:25:21,316
but we can just go back
to the way things used to be.
1558
01:25:21,733 --> 01:25:22,817
Just you and me...
1559
01:25:23,685 --> 01:25:25,153
Forever.
1560
01:25:27,071 --> 01:25:28,523
I love you.
Oh, my God. I love you too.
1561
01:25:29,023 --> 01:25:31,326
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
1562
01:25:34,078 --> 01:25:35,913
I'm not this guy.
1563
01:25:37,749 --> 01:25:39,751
I'm not the guy you deserve.
1564
01:25:40,251 --> 01:25:41,753
I'm this fucking guy.
1565
01:25:42,704 --> 01:25:44,172
What?
1566
01:25:44,455 --> 01:25:47,540
My mom wants me to be Bob,
the soon-to-be father, but...
1567
01:25:47,542 --> 01:25:49,959
I'm just the Bobfather, you know?
1568
01:25:49,961 --> 01:25:52,930
Are you fucking kidding me?
Look, I know this sounds crazy.
1569
01:25:53,348 --> 01:25:55,850
I've never felt more purpose
than I have these last few weeks.
1570
01:25:57,301 --> 01:26:00,302
These guys need me,
and I need them,
1571
01:26:00,304 --> 01:26:02,774
and this is gonna keep happening
every year for the rest of my life.
1572
01:26:03,141 --> 01:26:06,027
And you're just gonna end up
hating them and resenting me.
1573
01:26:06,227 --> 01:26:07,810
And who knows? Maybe you'll
end up shooting me in the balls
1574
01:26:07,812 --> 01:26:09,364
and taking all my money like Shel...
1575
01:26:10,732 --> 01:26:12,450
Oh!
Bobby!
1576
01:26:15,737 --> 01:26:17,405
You know, I really
respect your choice...
1577
01:26:17,572 --> 01:26:19,038
And your honesty.
1578
01:26:19,040 --> 01:26:20,823
I just wish you would've
told me five fucking years ago
1579
01:26:20,825 --> 01:26:22,375
that you would've chosen
your friend's balls
1580
01:26:22,377 --> 01:26:23,828
and their farts over me.
1581
01:26:26,297 --> 01:26:28,249
Where's the gravity? I...
Oh, my God.
1582
01:26:28,666 --> 01:26:31,419
Okay, okay, okay, that's enough.
You got it out of your system.
1583
01:26:31,669 --> 01:26:33,221
Farewell, Bobfather.
1584
01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:37,341
Now, nobody does that to my
buddy Bob.
1585
01:26:37,558 --> 01:26:39,143
Ooh!
Doc!
1586
01:26:39,394 --> 01:26:40,928
You are done, Tiff!
1587
01:26:43,731 --> 01:26:45,815
Mama, start the car.
Start the car, Mama!
1588
01:26:45,817 --> 01:26:46,734
Later, Tiff.
1589
01:27:00,498 --> 01:27:02,417
Well, things didn't go
exactly as planned,
1590
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:05,837
but then again,
the games never do.
1591
01:27:06,087 --> 01:27:09,171
Look, you don't stop playing
because you get older,
1592
01:27:09,173 --> 01:27:11,676
you get older when you stop playing.
1593
01:27:12,093 --> 01:27:14,677
Now the boys are back,
1594
01:27:14,679 --> 01:27:16,679
and somehow everything
seems right again.
1595
01:27:16,681 --> 01:27:20,384
In fact, things might even
be a little better.
1596
01:27:43,908 --> 01:27:46,410
Shelly may not have
reclaimed his throne,
1597
01:27:46,911 --> 01:27:48,913
but he's back.
1598
01:27:49,413 --> 01:27:51,132
Exactly where he belongs.
1599
01:27:53,167 --> 01:27:54,752
Still the king.
1600
01:27:58,756 --> 01:28:01,759
Turns out Durfy may not be
such a shitty actor after all.
1601
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,762
He just needed a little nudge.
1602
01:28:07,231 --> 01:28:11,269
"You have officially been offered
the role of Frankie in..."
1603
01:28:13,354 --> 01:28:14,939
Oh, my God!
1604
01:28:16,440 --> 01:28:17,942
Yes!
1605
01:28:18,943 --> 01:28:21,362
And then there's Bender.
1606
01:28:21,662 --> 01:28:23,247
Look at him.
Call Sheldon again.
1607
01:28:23,748 --> 01:28:26,167
That's the face of a champion.
Calling Sheldon.
1608
01:28:32,423 --> 01:28:34,008
Nope.
1609
01:28:34,959 --> 01:28:37,044
Call declined.
Come on, Man!
1610
01:28:38,546 --> 01:28:41,048
Call Sheldon again. Call him again!
Please watch your tone.
1611
01:28:41,549 --> 01:28:43,050
As for Doc, well,
1612
01:28:43,551 --> 01:28:45,436
he was finally able to
provide some relief.
1613
01:28:47,939 --> 01:28:50,024
It's time I got something
off my chest.
1614
01:28:50,441 --> 01:28:52,360
So here goes.
1615
01:28:52,560 --> 01:28:54,562
I'm, uh...
I know.
1616
01:28:54,862 --> 01:28:56,731
What do you mean, you know?
I know.
1617
01:28:56,981 --> 01:28:59,532
How long have you known?
Remember back in '96,
1618
01:28:59,534 --> 01:29:02,787
when you bought that Cavalier
King Charles spaniel,
1619
01:29:02,987 --> 01:29:05,571
and you named it after Brad Pitt's
character in Legends of the Fall?
1620
01:29:05,573 --> 01:29:07,959
Oh, Tristan.
Way before that.
1621
01:29:08,209 --> 01:29:09,243
All right, one more.
1622
01:29:09,627 --> 01:29:10,161
I'm gay!
1623
01:29:10,711 --> 01:29:11,710
All right, you're all done.
1624
01:29:11,712 --> 01:29:14,213
Oh, that felt amazing!
1625
01:29:14,215 --> 01:29:17,216
So if I'm not happy with the
results, I get a full refund, right?
1626
01:29:17,218 --> 01:29:18,669
'Cause I burn through
workout equipment
1627
01:29:19,136 --> 01:29:21,222
like Gene Simmons does
through pussy.
1628
01:29:21,722 --> 01:29:23,057
From Kiss.
1629
01:29:23,341 --> 01:29:26,926
I mean, fitness is my middle name.
1630
01:29:26,928 --> 01:29:28,429
And I'm just afraid...
You know, like,
1631
01:29:28,930 --> 01:29:31,597
I've broken things before,
'cause I'm so strong, and I'm...
1632
01:29:31,599 --> 01:29:34,817
Shelly, just hear me out.
What are you doing here, Dude?
1633
01:29:34,819 --> 01:29:37,154
I'm in trouble, and it's bad.
1634
01:29:37,438 --> 01:29:39,405
I need a place to hide out.
No, Man!
1635
01:29:39,407 --> 01:29:42,026
Oh, my God,
I'm in deep shit, Man!
1636
01:29:42,243 --> 01:29:45,077
Get the fuck out of my house, Dude.
What are you doing here?
1637
01:29:45,079 --> 01:29:49,000
Bender!
No! No! Aaah!
1638
01:29:52,703 --> 01:29:54,288
You're mine, Bitch.
1639
01:29:58,759 --> 01:30:01,794
You shot my best friend, you son
of a bitch! You're fucking dead!
1640
01:30:01,796 --> 01:30:03,796
You hear me?
You're fucking dead!
1641
01:30:03,798 --> 01:30:06,298
Yeah, that's right,
you fucking pussy.
1642
01:30:06,300 --> 01:30:07,635
"Best friend"?
1643
01:30:08,936 --> 01:30:10,855
I'm truly touched by that, Man.
1644
01:30:11,222 --> 01:30:14,609
What the...
You're alive?
1645
01:30:14,809 --> 01:30:17,226
Ha, ha, ha!
I'm alive!
1646
01:30:17,228 --> 01:30:21,030
It was a joke. I was trying to
get you out of the house. What?
1647
01:30:21,032 --> 01:30:24,201
Yeah, you weren't returning my phone
calls, Dude. I just want to talk.
1648
01:30:24,402 --> 01:30:26,368
But, he... He shot you.
1649
01:30:26,370 --> 01:30:29,240
Yeah, that's my buddy Thurston.
He works for the pawn shop.
1650
01:30:29,790 --> 01:30:32,291
I was buying my mom's shit back,
and he got me this movie gun.
1651
01:30:32,293 --> 01:30:34,295
What movie is it from?
Ride Along 2.
1652
01:30:34,795 --> 01:30:37,632
Yeah, 50 bucks. Fucking bang,
bang, Dude. Hundred bucks.
1653
01:30:37,882 --> 01:30:39,967
You said 50.
I said a hundred.
1654
01:30:40,468 --> 01:30:43,254
Twenty-five a bullet and 50
for the gun, that's $100.
1655
01:30:43,504 --> 01:30:46,641
You're a fucking liar!
1656
01:30:46,841 --> 01:30:48,223
I'm not paying for that.
Yes, you are.
1657
01:30:48,225 --> 01:30:50,809
No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
1658
01:30:50,811 --> 01:30:53,230
What the fuck is going on here?
1659
01:30:54,649 --> 01:30:56,148
Look, Man,
1660
01:30:56,150 --> 01:30:57,652
all I cared about
1661
01:30:58,152 --> 01:31:00,571
was you and just
making things right again.
1662
01:31:00,905 --> 01:31:03,489
You lost your fucking mind, Bender?
Get me out of this goddamn chair.
1663
01:31:03,491 --> 01:31:06,859
Dude, with that money,
I could've done anything.
1664
01:31:06,861 --> 01:31:08,861
Got an eight-ball the size of Nebraska,
1665
01:31:08,863 --> 01:31:12,867
fucked my way through whatever
rogue country this asshole's from,
1666
01:31:13,367 --> 01:31:15,169
but that's not what
was in my heart.
1667
01:31:15,336 --> 01:31:18,422
I felt so bad for you and all
the shit you went through,
1668
01:31:18,923 --> 01:31:21,008
and I just wanted to
get you back on your feet.
1669
01:31:21,542 --> 01:31:22,460
So...
1670
01:31:22,793 --> 01:31:26,180
Here's my plan.
Wait for it...
1671
01:31:26,380 --> 01:31:28,382
Boom!
1672
01:31:28,716 --> 01:31:30,801
A scrot-o!
1673
01:31:31,302 --> 01:31:33,521
Fuckin' scrotes!
1674
01:31:33,804 --> 01:31:35,354
I got balls for you!
1675
01:31:35,356 --> 01:31:37,191
Smell it! Smell!
1676
01:31:37,441 --> 01:31:40,444
I got you balls.
Fuck you. I got you balls.
1677
01:31:40,811 --> 01:31:43,531
Fuckin' Sack Nicholson over here.
1678
01:31:44,031 --> 01:31:47,535
Piercings. One with a tattoo on it.
Look at this guy.
1679
01:31:47,818 --> 01:31:49,320
So many fucking balls, Dude.
1680
01:31:49,820 --> 01:31:52,237
And then lo and behold...
1681
01:31:52,239 --> 01:31:55,874
Sheldon, you're back!
1682
01:31:55,876 --> 01:31:58,713
Shel Bell!
You look like Elton John.
1683
01:31:58,996 --> 01:32:01,882
You're fucking back!
Fuck you!
1684
01:32:02,049 --> 01:32:05,134
Look at that shit. Juicy!
1685
01:32:05,136 --> 01:32:08,139
Long live the king!
1686
01:32:20,317 --> 01:32:21,817
Bob's web of lies
1687
01:32:21,819 --> 01:32:24,319
has finally come home to roost.
1688
01:32:24,321 --> 01:32:25,773
What will happen to poor Bob?
1689
01:32:29,326 --> 01:32:31,746
I'm free.
And you're fucked.
1690
01:32:36,083 --> 01:32:37,666
It's not gross, all right?
Our buddy just...
1691
01:32:37,668 --> 01:32:39,670
It's a very, very gross present.
1692
01:32:40,171 --> 01:32:42,171
It's not gross.
Why would you get him that?
1693
01:32:42,173 --> 01:32:44,625
It's not gross.
1694
01:32:45,042 --> 01:32:47,126
I was just a little distracted, um,
1695
01:32:47,128 --> 01:32:50,596
planning my speech for the Oscars.
1696
01:32:53,134 --> 01:32:56,437
What the fuck is that thing?
Fucking cat?
1697
01:33:00,191 --> 01:33:03,227
You need the Heimlich, Dude?
You need the Heimlich?
1698
01:33:10,451 --> 01:33:12,536
This is some jackassery, Man.
1699
01:33:13,037 --> 01:33:14,538
Are you fucking kidding me?
1700
01:33:15,039 --> 01:33:17,792
A baby? A baby here?
1701
01:33:18,042 --> 01:33:20,461
Yeah, just take a look at the
tailbone there. No tailbone.
1702
01:33:20,661 --> 01:33:23,245
That's where I draw the line.
Come on.
1703
01:33:23,247 --> 01:33:26,750
All right, bend over.
1704
01:33:27,001 --> 01:33:29,084
Sweet swimsuit.
Thank you.
1705
01:33:29,086 --> 01:33:30,971
Can you swim or dive?
1706
01:33:31,305 --> 01:33:32,387
Yeah, both.
1707
01:33:32,389 --> 01:33:33,808
Well, you can dive on my dick.
1708
01:33:34,141 --> 01:33:35,726
Okay. Okay.
1709
01:33:36,227 --> 01:33:37,561
Two more. Two more.
Two more. Two more.
1710
01:33:44,852 --> 01:33:48,272
Filled with jizz!
1711
01:33:52,193 --> 01:33:55,529
Are you just gonna call it?
Okay. Foreground, background...
1712
01:34:03,754 --> 01:34:05,537
My dad likes to buy
his pie at the store.
1713
01:34:05,539 --> 01:34:07,673
Oh, yeah.
Store pie's better.
1714
01:34:07,675 --> 01:34:09,009
Oh, God.
1715
01:34:09,510 --> 01:34:11,009
What's the matter with your woman?
1716
01:34:11,011 --> 01:34:12,513
Is she always like this?
1717
01:34:14,014 --> 01:34:16,014
I think she's been
drinking this morning.
1718
01:34:16,016 --> 01:34:17,518
Really?
Yeah.
1719
01:34:19,770 --> 01:34:21,856
Motherfucker!
1720
01:34:22,356 --> 01:34:23,691
Fuck!
1721
01:34:26,026 --> 01:34:28,195
I'm so sorry.
On frame, right?
1722
01:34:28,395 --> 01:34:31,982
You became a friar. That's dope,
right? That is so rad.
1723
01:34:32,483 --> 01:34:35,402
Listen to Lance Bass over here.
Oh, shit!
1724
01:34:40,407 --> 01:34:41,909
Oh!
1725
01:34:47,131 --> 01:34:48,130
What?
1726
01:34:48,132 --> 01:34:50,632
Thanks, Prick Moranis.
1727
01:34:52,887 --> 01:34:55,472
Let's play some Buddy Games!
1728
01:34:55,973 --> 01:34:57,474
Let's play some "Bloody" Games!
1729
01:34:57,925 --> 01:34:59,393
No!
1730
01:35:06,901 --> 01:35:08,903
Get it.
Get it. Get it.
1731
01:35:15,492 --> 01:35:17,993
The, uh,
the parking brake wasn't set,
1732
01:35:17,995 --> 01:35:19,914
so it just started rolling back.
1733
01:36:22,977 --> 01:36:25,560
Let's play some Buddy Games!
129640
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