Original subtitles

* I'm a sentimental sap that's all

* What's the use of trying not to fall?

* I have no will You made your kill

* 'Cause you took advantage of me

* I'm just like an apple on a bough

* And you're going to shake me down somehow

* But what's the use? You cooked my goose

* 'Cause you took advantage of me

* I'm so hot and bothered

* That I don't know my elbow from my ear

* I suffer something awful each time you go

* It's much worse when you're near

* Here am I with all my bridges burned

* Just a babe in arms where you're concerned

* So lock the doors and call me yours

* 'Cause you took advantage of me

* I have no will

* You've made your kill

* 'Cause you took advantage of me

* So lock the doors

* And call me yours

* You took advantage

* Of poor little me

MAN ON RADIO: Crossbow, this is Watchdog.

Confirm all transmissions on discriminator.

MAN 2: Roger, Watchdog.

Crossbow is on discriminator.

And all systems are "go."

Roger, we mark you "go" for maneuvering sequence.

MAN 2: Watchdog, this is Crossbow.

I am established. Confirm we are "go" for "arm."

MAN: Affirmative, Crossbow.

At this time, select electrics to "max." Select vents to "open."

And select systems to "onboard."

MAN 2: Roger, Crossbow is armed.

MAN: Roger. We now have ground confirmation. Rabbit is in the hole.

Moving target indicator engaged. Pathfinder is on. I'm going on the scope.

MAN: Roger.

MAN 2: Scanner on.

Target locked. Tracking locked.

Roger. Easy does it. That's it.

Hold it right there.

MAN 3: The Crossbow Project. There's no defense like a good offense.

Mission accomplished.

MAN: Outstanding, Crossbow.

Just like shooting ducks in a barrel.

MAN 3: Working in secret, our scientists are turning an engineering dream,

into an effective reality.

All we have to do is build it. Nice weapon, Dave.

What do you think of the movie, Roy?

I think there weren't enough girls in it.

I have a tape on alternate weapon uses.

Plans for the mini-shuttle and modifications in the B-1 for aerial launching.

Does the President or any responsible agency know about this?

We're on a need-to-know basis, George. The CIA is a responsible agency.

I think they do need to know.

You're going to single-handedly cause a major escalation.

Our studies indicate this type of weapon is useless in warfare.

It's not intended for use in your kind of warfare, Roy.

It's the perfect peacetime weapon. That's why it's secret.

So it's both immoral and unethical? DON: Yes.

(ALL LAUGHING)

When do we get it?

As I understand it, there seems to be a small technical, uh,

teeny problem with the energy source...

I don't want to hear about any problems, Don.

We have plans for your little ray gun this summer.

I need a success here.

I don't need any delays jeopardizing that success.

Am I making myself clear, Don? Clear as vodka, Dave.

DECKER: You tell Dr. Hathaway to get on the stick.

Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to push a little harder then, huh?

As long as we have a working weapon by June.

Right, General? I wouldn't know, Dave.

I haven't had a working weapon since Korea.

(ALL LAUGHING)

I'm sorry, Dave. This is too much.

I gonna have to ask for a reassignment.

I'm sorry to hear that, George.

I urge you to stop. Thanks for your input.

Sorry you won't be on the team. Maybe next time.

Too bad. Used to be a good man.

Afraid we'll have to liberate George.

Liberate? You mean liquidate?

Larry, let's see that film on blinding techniques.

Then, we'll all have some lunch, all right?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Oh, excuse me. Would you sign this, please?

Are you Dr. Hathaway? Yes, I am.

You know, I just loved your television show.

Oh, thank you very much.

Listen, tell me. What is Mr. Einstein really like?

Dead.

See, Dad, laser means light amplification

by stimulated emissions of radiation.

So this is called "parent light."

Oh, so it talks, right? No.

(GASPING) Dr. Hathaway! What a surprise!

How are you, Mrs. Taylor?

Is something wrong with Mitch's test scores?

If there is, it's because I had the flu and couldn't make him

a decent breakfast that morning. I tried to make him waffles.

Well, I thought I'd fly in and bring you the news myself.

I just got word from the admissions committee. We did it.

Mitch is in to Pacific Tech.

Way to go, boy! Don't shake his head.

Don't ever shake his head.

How you doing, Mitch? Fine.

Nice display here. Thanks.

It's a flashlamp-pumped ultraviolet laser at 342 nanometers.

Well, as you know, there's considerable interest

in the atomic iodine laser for fusion.

This is molecular iodine, therefore, this laser doesn't suffer

from the problem of recombination of atomic iodine.

You must be very proud.

Proud? Yeah, sure.

Mitch is the first student we've ever accepted

for midwinter term at Pacific Tech.

Honey! I imagine he's the youngest, too.

Actually, the youngest we ever had was 12,

but he cracked under the pressure within six months, so...

Mitch is 15. There's not gonna be any problem with that.

Say, listen, doc, about this scholarship thing, now.

You're gonna give him a signing bonus, right? No.

But by allowing Mitch to progress in an accelerated rate,

we give him the opportunity to fulfill a far greater portion

of his remarkable intellectual potential.

We want the best for Mitchy.

Dr. Hathaway, I saw your show the other night on radioactive isotopes,

and I've got a question for you. Yes?

Is that your real hair? Yeah.

Tell me, is Mitch by any chance adopted?

Why, no! It's amazing.

Isn't it? If I don't something to eat, I'm gonna die. Come on.

MRS. TAYLOR: Bye, Dr. Hathaway. Goodbye.

I'll see you later, honey.

They're all right. It's just sometimes they have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm sure about that.

So, tell me, Mitch, are you going to miss your friends?

Well, no. I think I intimidate other kids. Good boy.

Mitch, there's something you're going to have to understand.

Compared to you, most people have the IQ of a carrot.

We're different than most people, Mitch, better.

WOMAN: Oh, there you are, Dr. Hathaway! Hi, one second. One second.

I've decided to put you on my own research team

with some of the finest minds on the campus.

This is only the second time I've given such an honor to a freshman.

The first one was Chris Knight in 1981, right? You've heard of Chris?

Yes, he's a legend in the National Physics Club.

You're going to be working with Chris.

He's a senior now. And he's as brilliant as he ever was.

(LAUGHING) Wow!

Soon as you graduate, this job will be waiting for you, Chris.

CHRIS: Great.

We have a complete physical plant, right over here. You have a Jacuzzi?

Absolutely. Good.

The labs and offices are over this way. Follow me, please.

Guys, I want you to meet Chris Knight.

Chris, this is my assistant, Sherry Nugil.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

And this is Mike Dodd. Dr. Dodd.

The one who just designed our brand-new telecom satellite.

It's an honor to meet you, sir.

Telecom.

(SIGHING) Isn't that the satellite

that's raining debris all over Europe?

Why is that toy on your head?

Because, if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.

I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy.

You know, no fun. All brain, no penis.

Pardon me? I'm sorry.

It's an infantile response to authority.

Yes, you are Chris Knight, aren't you?

I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.

It's a joke! I get it! Goody!

I just can't help it! You guys are such fun yourselves!

Well, we try to be! Isn't that right, Mike?

No.

Chris, Sherry is gonna show you around the place.

You can ask her any questions you might have about fringe benefits,

dress codes or whatever.

I'll see you back upstairs back at my office when you're through, okay?

Great. Sherry,

take very good care of this young man.

He is one of the ten finest minds in the country.

Someday I hope to be two of them.

(LAUGHING)

You are very beautiful. Thank you.

How did I come off? Too stuffy?

You certainly don't act like one of the top ten minds of America.

Really? How many of them have you met?

Seven. Really?

Mmm-hmm. You'll be eight.

Professor Hofstetler at MIT was number six.

Old Professor Hofstetler? Isn't he dead?

He is now.

Hello, I'm looking for the president's freshman tea.

Oh, good. I'm so glad we have one, then.

(CHATTERING)

Gene, this is Mitch Taylor.

Ah, Professor Hathaway's bright star.

Yes, sir. GENE: And you're already on his project.

We're told to expect great things from you.

I hope so, sir. Oh, a bit of advice.

Oh, thank you?

Always...

No, never...

Forget to check your references.

Okay. Thank you.

Uh, I'd better be going.

Whoops, sorry.

I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you?

STUDENT: Hey, where's the funeral?

* In case you hadn't noticed

* It's a dog eating dog eating

* Dog eating, dog eating In case you hadn't noticed *

How you doing, sport?

BOY: Hey, Bobby, wait up, man.

BOY 2: Check if he's down in his room.

He might be in there.

BOY: Let's go for a bike ride.

Hello?

What kind of a place is this?

Hi. Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?

I... Well...

The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets.

I've got it. Nudity.

I was here for a second this morning...

You didn't straighten up the place, did you?

No. Good. Because all my filth is in alphabetical order.

This for example, was under "H" for toy.

What is that? This? It's a penis-stretcher.

(WHIRRING)

You want to try it? No!

I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions

in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

I dropped off my luggage and now all my bags are empty.

You see, Mitch, I used to be you.

Lately, I've been missing me,

so I asked Hathaway if I could room with me again.

He said, "Sure." So, I put all your stuff in the bottom drawer there.

Shirts, pants, shoes.

I had trouble with the sports jacket so I threw it out.

Duck! Nice reflexes. I'm Chris Knight.

Oh, no. Oh, yes.

Duck again!

WOMAN: Hey!

Oh, my God! It's heading for the gas tanks.

Duck!

Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?

We're falling way behind, Jerr.

We're not making cheese sandwiches.

All right, get down!

Hey! What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy? You could have killed us!

As one of the deans, I cannot be seen with you.

I know, Jerr, but since I'm the one driving,

don't you think you should be the one to hide?

He saw me.

(SCOFFS)

Jerry, look. The reason I came here was to tell you that the climate has changed.

We need a working model within 4 months, not 18.

You can't dictate innovation, Don.

Well, let me put it another way.

You know all the money we've been spending on development, Jerr?

Yes.

Well, when a project gets cut off,

the finance boys always run an audit.

I see.

Having a little work done on the old place, huh, Jerr?

Fraud is a felony.

What are you looking at?

You're laborers. You're supposed to be laboring!

That's what you get for not having an education.

(BARKING)

Get out of here! Go on! Go on! Get out of here! Get out!

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

Hey! Yes?

Just put down the sandwiches and go.

Me? No, Yoda! Yeah, you!

I don't have... Brains?

(ALL LAUGHING)

No, sandwiches. Well, then what good are you?

What are we supposed to eat?

Listen, are you or are you not from the restaurant?

No, I'm Mitch Taylor. I'm a student.

Dr. Hathaway told me to come up here. Oh.

So, uh, you're the new stud, are you?

How do you mean? Stud. Hotshot, brain.

You're 12 years old, right? I'm 15.

Are you expecting him or... Yeah, any minute now. Can I get you something, a balloon?

I'm supposed to look at your work up-to-date.

Check it over. Check it over?

Well, yes. For what?

Mistakes, I guess. He said you guys were stuck.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Let's get something very clear here, okay?

When Jerry's not here, you do what I say.

It goes from God to Jerry to me. Get it?

Hello, Jerry.

I told you before, Kent, you don't get to use my first name.

Did I? How you doing, Mitch?

Now, I'm sure you're all gonna become fast friends.

We're well on our way already.

Good. Because after Mitch is brought up-to-date,

I want the rest of you to take your cues from him.

His ideas on efficient fluorescent compounds are the most original I've seen.

So, from now on, Mitch is gonna be in charge of the group.

KENT: Really, Jerry.

You're doing it again, Kent. Oh, am I?

Where is Knight? Oh, he didn't bother to come in today.

Yes, Bodie? He said he didn't feel like it.

I said, "You better." And he said, "Or what?"

I said, "Or else you're gonna be in trouble." He said, "Jam it."

That's wonderful story, Bodie. I've noticed you've stopped stuttering.

I've been giving myself shock treatments. Up the voltage.

I'm sorry he isn't here... That clown? Look at this.

We heard he wasn't coming. Kent decided to start without him.

We find the fluorescent yield insignificant.

We think that the sample's been damaged.

What? Well, obviously the result of negligence.

It'll take us at least another week to prepare another sample.

I was afraid something like this might happen. Are you sure about that?

Oh, we're sure, all right.

Positive. Positive.

Excuse me. KENT: I mean there's simply no excuse for it.

Excuse me! Yeah, Mitch, what is it?

I think the pump laser is down. This doesn't look right.

Look.

There.

Well, it seems to be all better now. Aw.

Don't touch other people's things!

Kent, I need you.

Anything, Jerry. What?

Do you want me to teach your sophomore class for you?

No, get copies made of all the data so far.

So that young Mitch can get started.

He's checking everything tomorrow. My pleasure.

Then after that, stop by my cleaners.

Don't give it a thought. I enjoy.

All right, Mitch, shall we here? Sure.

I guess it goes from God to Jerry,

to you, to the cleaners.

Right, Kent?

(SCOFFS)

Library, library.

205.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE WHOOPING)

Welcome to Pacific Tech's Smart People on Ice!

Let's go skating!

Ick, ice turned out so great! Yeah, it worked, didn't it?

How did you do it?

Sure, I tell you. Then you tell somebody else.

The next thing you know, we're in the middle of another ice age.

Everybody must be skating!

Just because you're a slack, Knight. Moles and trolls!

MITCH: What? Moles and trolls! Work, work, work!

We never see the light of day.

We plan this thing for weeks,

and all they want to do is study!

I'm disgusted. It's not like me. I'm depressed!

(SCREAMING)

We had no one at the Mutant Hamster Races.

We had one entry for the Madame Curie Look-alike Contest.

And he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

Let's go, Smith House! What are you, a bunch of weirdos?

Do you want a cherry? I grow them myself.

Okay, let's go.

Oh! Are you okay?

No, not emotionally, no, I'm not.

I'm disappointed. Not terribly, but still.

It should have gone much further, much faster.

I know what the problem is.

It's obviously the drag coefficient.

I'll have to redesign it. I can do that here.

But that takes time. You know how long this stuff's supposed to last?

Maybe another half an hour. That's great.

No problem. What's your name?

Mitch. Thank you, Mitch.

You're welcome! Who's that? That?

I'm Jordan. I forgot to tell you my name.

I heard there's someone new this term? Are you it? Yes.

Do you have a bed? Yeah.

I was going to make you one if you didn't have one. Okay, bye.

Bye.

What's all this supposed to be? This? This is ice.

This is what happens to water when it gets too cold.

This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people

when they get too sexually frustrated.

(LAUGHING)

This should keep you busy for a while.

This, plus your regular class load

should turn your brains to tapioca in less than a month.

Kent, that is so unfair. We were going to make you king of the winter carnival.

Yeah?

(MITCH AND ICK LAUGHING)

Oh, ha, ha, ha! Are you in on this, too?

Did you make this stuff? I'm not saying.

Who will clean up? It'll go from solid form directly to gas.

Whoa! Really? What is it?

I'm not saying. But it's fairly rare and very unstable.

Just like you. You're a bunch of degenerates.

We are? What about the time I found you naked with that JELL-O?

You did not! This is true!

I was hot and hungry. Okay?

Whoa!

Anyway, I got news for you, Knight.

You're not number one anymore. Number one what?

Mighty Mouse beat your placement scores by over 20 points.

I guess you think you're hot stuff.

No. Yeah, well, hey!

Maybe you are smarter than me. But can you do this?

Whoa!

(COUGHING) Ick, what's happening with the ice?

(COUGHING)

Ick! I'm melting.

It worked! That's neat!

Now, if we can keep it from exploding. Explo... Explo...

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Ick, you were just joking about exploding, right?

Ick?

It's a joke, right?

(DOOR OPENING)

(TOILET FLUSHING)

Hi, I thought I saw you come in here.

We met last night. I'm Jordan.

I made you a sweater. Last night?

Yeah, I hope I got the size right.

I'm pretty sure I did.

I have a good eye for that sort of thing. Are you peeing?

Yeah. Oh... I never sleep.

It drove my roommate nuts.

They had to take her away in an ambulance, but she's okay now.

But she had to transfer to an easier school.

If you ever need to talk, just let me know.

Because I never sleep, okay? Thanks, I will.

Are you done? I can't start.

Because I'm here? I think so.

Weird. Well, I have to go. Me, too.

Bye.

Good morning!

Chris? Morning.

You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning.

Was it a dream where you see yourself standing on a pyramid

with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

(CHUCKLES) No. Why am I the only person that has that dream?

Is that liquid nitrogen? Mmm-hmm.

Coffee? No.

CHRIS: So what happened? There's a guy living in our closet.

You've seen him, too?

Who is he?

Hollyfeld. Why does he go into our closet?

Why do you go into our closet? To get my clothes.

That's not why he does. Of course not.

He's twice your size. Your clothes would never fit him.

Yeah.

Think before you ask these questions, Mitch.

20 points higher than me?

Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes.

* I never thought this could happen

* I never thought I could feel this way

* Till this strange reaction today

(DOOR CREAKING)

* You give me a new sensation

* In a place that has no name

* Something tells me I'll never be the same

* Now, it's all changed

* I'm falling, falling

* Falling, falling

* I'm falling, falling

* Falling, falling

* I began to slip

* I didn't know what was coming next

(CAR HONKING)

* Even so, I was not prepared for this

* Not prepared for this

* This, this, this

(WHIRRING)

* I used to think nothing mattered

* Now, I see possibilities

* You showed a new direction to me

* And it's all changed

* I'm falling, falling

* Falling, falling

* I'm falling, falling

* Falling, falling

(INAUDIBLE CHATTER)

* I began to slip

* I didn't know what was coming next

* Even so, I was not prepared for this

* Not prepared for this

* I'm falling, falling

* I'm falling, falling

* I'm falling, falling

* Falling, falling

* Falling

* Falling

MAN ON TAPE: ...plus y equals zero...

(BANGING)

This is it.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

Come on, get out of here! Get out of here!

You wanted to see me, your joggingness? Mr. Knight!

Right on time. That's a little unusual these days.

You still run? Only when chased.

What's that smell? Must be the dog.

That's popcorn. Get it away from me. I can't stand popcorn.

I hate popcorn. Put it over there.

Good. Now I know what to get you for your birthday.

We're moving up in the world, eh, Jerry?

It's very elegant. Thank you. Try not to touch anything.

Is this okay, sir? It's oak. It's not plywood, for God's sake.

Quite a change from the old place. Shoes.

I want to see a lot more of you in the lab.

Fine, I'll gain weight.

You're a very funny boy, Chris.

(CHUCKLES) Thanks, Jerry. We try.

You can sit.

When I first brought you into this school

I thought you'd become another Einstein.

And you were well on your way, and then... I got a haircut.

You're disappointing me, Chris. And you, me, Jerry.

Look, it's about our deal. I know, Jerry.

I have advanced your project more than any three students on campus.

That was yesterday. What have you done today?

Well, uh, uh...

(FEIGNING SOBBING)

I want five megawatts by mid-May.

(LAUGHS DISBELIEVINGLY)

Uh, Jerry, I think you might be getting a little obsessive.

I took in Mitch, okay?

He's coming along fine. He's working his guts out.

So what exactly do you want?

I want five megawatts by mid-May.

Look, I don't care if you're arrogant.

I don't care if you're disrespectful.

But your attitude's distracting Mitch, and that I won't have.

The rules have changed. I want it by mid-May.

Jerry, I think that you're just forgetting

about one little detail and that's that I'm out of here.

I'm gone, I'm history, I'm graduating.

To graduate, you need my course, dear boy.

It seems that I have something to say about what you do and where you go.

So, from now on, you and Mitch will spend every waking moment in the lab.

You will solve my power problem and by my deadline.

Jerry, if you think by threatening me,

you can get me to be your slave,

well, that's where you're right.

But I'm only saying this because I care.

There are many decaffeinated brands that taste real.

I'm not kidding, Chris.

Neither am I, Jerry.

Hi, Mitch.

Do me a favor, will ya? Taste this.

Come on, you won't hurt my feelings.

What, too sweet?

What is it?

I don't know. I found it in one of the labs.

(EXCLAIMS)

Relax. It's just yogurt.

Mmm.

Mitch. Mitch. Are you all right?

No, I'm not.

This combination of electrical plus chemical cyanide is dumb.

We're going in the wrong direction.

You're the only one that knows how to use this garbage,

and you're never here, and finally, I'm getting brain-fried.

Okay, I'm going to make it up to you. Let's just pause.

Let's just take a step back.

No, I was wrong. I'm sorry. Take a step forward.

Now take a step back.

Step forward. Step back. Then we're cha-cha-ing!

Will you stop it! I'm serious.

Okay, I'm serious, too. Let's charge this baby up. Give me everything you got.

I've got to go in the cage first.

Okay, this is work time.

How you doing there, Mitch?

Fine, don't rush me.

Okay, just take your time. Everything's fine.

What is taking so long?

I'm coming.

Charging. Shades.

(WHIRRING)

What are you doing? Waiting.

Oh, no! Relax.

That's just the fuses at the substation.

They'll have it back on in a minute.

Maybe I shouldn't have shorted across the building transformer.

But, more importantly, did we get a charge?

What did you do? Wait a minute, this... Come on, Sputnik.

Well, you wanted help, so here we go.

What? Beautiful pines.

Chris, we have work. We can't...

We're going to work. Hard work, friend.

This must have taken you hours. What did you...

I told you they'd turn it back on.

MAN: What's this? CHRIS: It's a laser beam, bozo.

MAN: What's it for? CHRIS: Not what, where?

MAN: What? CHRIS: Follow it! It's a surprise!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

You like it?

MAN: Hey, what's the beam splitter for?

CHRIS: What's the matter with you guys?

You have to have everything spelled out for you?

(PEOPLE CLAPPING)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

CHRIS: Come on, let's tan.

(ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS DANCE PLAYING)

We have one for Mitch.

* And all she wants to do is dance, dance

(GIRLS EXCLAIMING)

* Rebels been rebels since I don't know when

(SPLASHING)

Moola Bulla, boys.

Come on in. The South Pacific calls you!

MITCH: Chris, who are the girls?

They're not from around here. I'd know.

They're from a nearby college, though. MAN: Which one?

"The Wanda Trussler School of Beauty."

They're beauticians? Not yet.

I don't know. These girls are not used to geniuses.

You might impress them. I don't see how.

Given the type of people you are and the environment you're in,

you have to admit the strong probability

that this may be the only chance in your entire lives to have sex.

Think about it.

Yeah!

(SHOUTING)

(EXCLAIMING)

* She wants to party

* She wants to get down

* All she wants to do is

* All she wants to do is dance

(MAN WHOOPING)

Destiny! I've got her now!

* Well, the government bugged the men's room

* In the local disco lounge

Don't eat that. Huh?

Eating that stuff can give you very large breasts.

Oh, my God! I'm too late!

* And all she wants to do is dance

* But that don't keep the boys

* From makin' a buck or two

(GIRL GIGGLING)

* And all she wants to do is dance, dance

Don, don't act as if I don't want my own invention to work.

There are only so many hours in the day.

Ready to go, Dr. Hathaway.

Pushing me doesn't help.

You'll have to tell them that.

They want me to tell you, either you start showing results

or they're going to find somebody else. Oh, really? Who?

Then you won't have your big toys anymore.

I'm the best, Don. Who do you think you're dealing with?

How dare you try to threat... I have to go on.

This whole conversation is in incredibly poor taste.

I really do...

Son of a bitch. Asshole.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN ON SPEAKER: Welcome to Everything with your host, Dr. Jerome Hathaway ,

funded by a grant from Darlington Electronic Instruments.

And now, Dr. Hathaway.

Hi, I'm Jerry Hathaway, with Everything.

Tonight, we are going to look at something

that most of us take for granted,

the colon.

What does it look like?

MAN: (WHISPERING) Get out of there. Get out of there.

Kent! WOMAN: Cut!

What?

You're standing in front of the teleprompter.

Well, I didn't know. Listen, there's something I have to tell you.

Did you pick up my dry cleaning? Yes, I did.

But there's something you should know. The gravy stain?

No, no. That came out. It's about Chris and Mitch.

They're not working. They're at a party, with girls.

I want you to show me where. My pleasure.

(TARZAN YELL)

(ONE NIGHT LOVE AFFAIR PLAYING)

* But I never thought that I'd be touching you

* How was I to know

* I'd let my feelings go

* And that I'd be yours

* Before the night was through

* One night love affair

* Trying to make like we don't care

Hi, are you busy?

Yes... No, no.

Do you want to help test my re-breather?

Come on! Sure!

* Pretendin' it ain't there

It's actually a simple principle. It's basically a filter.

It lets the CO2 out and the O2 back in.

How come you're not, uh...

Necking? I'm not gay!

No, partying!

Oh. Because I'm 19 and I'm brilliant and I'm hyperkinetic.

Guys are a little afraid. If I stopped to think about it, I'd be upset.

I think you're very nice.

* But I lose control

I think you're nice, too.

Do you want to try this?

* Now you're out of reach

* One night love affair

It's lighter in the water. How about you?

(SCREAMS)

* We were both reachin' out for somethin'

* Yeah, yeah

(MUSIC STOPS)

MAN: Hey, what's with the music?

Taylor!

(DISTORTED) Taylor!

(MITCH COUGHING)

You're supposed to be in the lab tonight, weren't you?

I was. I just got... You're at Pacific Tech to work, not to play doctor.

I was working. I just got... Yeah, where's Knight?

You both make me sick. Kent!

What? Yeah, oh.

I took a big chance in recommending a 15-year-old.

I can see now that I made a mistake. Hope you're proud of yourself.

Dr. Hathaway? What?

Are you wearing makeup?

What?

(MUSIC RESUMES)

* One night love affair

(CHRIS WHOOPING)

CHRIS: Cannonball!

* We were both reachin' out for somethin'

I just need one more quarter...

(MITCH DIALING PHONE)

MITCH: Yes, I'd like to make a collect call

to Mrs. Bill Taylor.

(WHISPERING) Ahh. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

MITCH: Mitch Taylor.

KENT: Got an idea, great idea.

What? What? Hold it down.

MITCH: (CRYING) Mom, I...

I want to come home.

MITCH ON PHONE: Mom, are you there?

MRS. TAYLOR: Baby, you sound upset. What's wrong?

I don't like it here anymore. I want to come home and live with you.

You've rented out my room? Mom, to who?

MRS. TAYLOR: You remember Mr. Igavera?

(WHISPERING) Bodie, look. Look. Listen!

MITCH: Mom! I...

Where were you last night?

In the lab, where you were supposed to be.

Jordan said Hathaway got down on you.

What exactly did he, uh...

Let me hold on to that thought and get back to you.

MITCH ON PA: Mom, mom, are you there?

MRS. TAYLOR ON PA: Baby, you sound upset. What's wrong?

MITCH: (CRYING) I don't like it here anymore.

I want to come home and live with you.

MRS. TAYLOR: It's not for you to like.

It's for you to do. You're 15 years old now.

(MAN LAUGHING)

MITCH: Mom, I want to come home and live with you.

MRS. TAYLOR: You want to live with me and Daddy?

MITCH: I want to go back to high school.

MRS. TAYLOR: Honey, Daddy's rented out your room.

MITCH: Rented out my room? Mom, to who?

MRS. TAYLOR: You remember Mr. Igavera? He's the plumber.

MITCH: Why can't Mr. Igavera and I share it? I don't want to stay here.

MRS. TAYLOR: Now, Mitchy, that doesn't sound like Mama's little soldier.

MR. TAYLOR: Mitch, it's your dad.

MITCH: Hi, Dad. MR. TAYLOR: Are you crying?

MITCH: I'm sorry.

MR. TAYLOR: Well, I hope nobody sees you.

MITCH: I'm just a kid.

MR. TAYLOR: (CHUCKLES) You've never been "just a kid."

Okay.

If you want to leave, go ahead.

But, uh... You're going to miss the fun.

What fun? Ick invented a new virus

and we're going to release it in Kent's room.

The other night I needed your help and all you wanted to do was party.

I did help you. I tried to help you relax.

Being snubbed by beauticians is not my idea of relaxing. Student beauticians.

You know, I thought this place was going to be different,

but it's just the same.

In high school, they stuffed me in a mailbox. Did I tell you that?

My teachers disliked me because I was smarter than they were.

The students hated me because I blew the bell curve. Does that sound familiar?

Mitch, I was just like you. My mother dressed me in Hush Puppies

and made me carry a briefcase,

guaranteeing a girl would never talk to me.

When I first came here, I studied all the time.

You? Yeah.

And then one night, sitting in this chair right here, I had a vision.

What? Hollyfeld.

The guy in the closet?

Lazlo Hollyfeld.

I followed him into the closet, down into the steam tunnels.

And there, I saw the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

What? Hollyfeld, in his pajamas.

So? So, I talked to him.

You did?

He used to be the number one stud around here.

(WHISPERING) Smarter than you and me put together.

What happened? Did he crack?

Yes, Mitch, he cracked, severely. Why?

He loved his work.

What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that.

But that's all he did. He loved solving problems.

He loved coming up with the answers.

But he thought that the answers were the answer for everything.

All science, no philosophy.

One day, someone tells him the stuff he was making was killing people.

Are you saying I'm gonna end up in the steam tunnel?

Yeah. What?

You are, if you keep up like this.

Mitch, you don't need to run away from here.

When you're smart, people need you.

You can use your mind creatively.

I notice you don't study too hard. Bingo.

Yeah, but if I stay, what should I do?

First thing you should do is get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

Yeah. Yeah!

(WILD LAUGHTER)

Now you try.

Yeah!

(HYSTERICAL LAUGH)

Now, let's unpack. Right.

(LAUGHING)

See, at Northern Electronics, you don't get stock options,

which is what makes Darlington so sweet.

You get everything. Yeah, but Knight's got that locked.

KENT: Well, maybe he does and maybe he doesn't.

Okay, pssst!

Come on. Come on, you guys! He's gone!

Kent puts his name on his license plate.

My mother does that with my underwear.

She puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

Hello, Rafael.

(AIR HISSING)

Hey, Kent.

That's your car.

Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.

You know, this isn't funny.

You've gone too far this time, Knight.

I had help.

You, huh?

Well, I'm going to get you guys.

Dr. Hathaway is gonna hear all about this. You'll rue the day!

"Rue the day"? Who talks like that?

Wow! Hello.

Hi.

Well...

Listen, Jerry asked me to drop by.

What did he ask you to do? What?

Which word didn't you understand?

Are you here for the meeting? What meeting?

I don't know. Okay.

Look, I'm just waiting. Right.

(DOOR OPENING)

DECKER: Finally, what it comes down to,

if you can't do it, we'll have to get somebody else.

I have a timetable. We're really very close.

There's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Try and remember, you work for me.

I think I've made my point, haven't I? Crystal clear.

Anything I should know about, boys?

I'll be with you in a moment. Good luck, Jerry. Susan.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to know you at all.

I can't stand it. Have you ever seen a body like this before?

She's my daughter. Well then, I guess you have.

Coming, Don? Yeah.

No, seriously, listen.

If there's anything I can do for you

or, more to the point, to you,

you let me know, okay?

Can you hammer a spike through a board with your penis?

Not right now. A girl's got to have standards.

DECKER: Susan.

Whoo. That is a very smart girl.

What are you doing? You said come over.

Stay off the rug.

Take off your shoes. What's up, doc?

Sit down. Who are those guys?

You are no longer of any use to me!

An interesting way to open up a conversation.

I'm giving Kent the Darlington job. Did you suddenly find humor?

You already gave me the job. You need a degree.

I can pass your exam. Even if you pass, you don't pass.

Why don't you leave the campus right now?

Okay, fine. I'll go to Dr. Meredith.

The work on the laser should merit a degree.

You can tell Meredith anything.

Who's he going to believe? You or me?

You can't do this. It's done.

You're out! Get out! I'll make sure you never work in this field again.

You unbelievable bastard. Count on it.

Whatcha doing?

Self-realization.

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates,

who said, "I drank what?"

Is there something wrong?

Hathaway is going to flunk me out of school.

Why? I screwed up.

What are you gonna do?

I guess I'll leave. You can't do that.

You'll be a failure.

Thank you, Mitch.

I mean, you just can't leave. You owe me ten bucks.

You can't quit now.

If for no other reason

than to see a five megawatt laser fired, just once.

That would be nice.

You got to finish what you start.

Who said that? You know that.

That's right, Mitch,

but that is no way to motivate somebody.

(CHUCKLES)

You've got to get even with Jerry Hathaway.

It's a moral imperative.

That's a good point.

* Number one is a hard time in the making

* Number two is the one place I'm a-taking

* Number three goes on one knee for a token

* Number four is the short straw, but it's broken

* I'd give my arm just to be number one

* Number one is a hard time in the making

* Don't give Don't give

* A damn A damn

* What else What else

* I am I am

* I am I am

* The man In the making

* In the making In the making, making

* Number five is a bad drive 'round the circuit

* Number six is a sad trick when you're working

* I'd give the world if I could be number one

* Number one is the one way to salvation

* I'll do I'll do

* My best My best

* To beat To beat

* The rest The rest

* And be And be

* The best in the nation

* In the nation In the nation, nation

* I'll stake I'll stake

* My claim My claim

* I'll make I'll make

* My name My name

* My love My love

* My game My vocation

* My vocation, my vocation My vocation, my vocation

(SCREAMING)

* I'd give my all just to be number one

* I'd give my all just to be number

* I'd give my all just to be number one

* No fears No fears

* No doubts No doubts

* What else What else

* I am I am

* I am I am

* The man In the making In the making *

No, Peter, not again.

(MUMBLING)

No! Mitch. Mitch.

Why don't you get some sleep?

It's not like we're driving or anything.

You're still a growing boy, I hope.

Hey, Lazlo.

Lazlo?

Uh-oh. That's me.

Hello.

I've been watching you.

Thanks.

I thought you might need some help with the test, so I dug into the computer

and got every question Hathaway's ever asked

on every final he's ever given.

Gee, I... I didn't get you anything.

Are those they?

No, these are entries into the Frito-Lay sweepstakes.

"No purchase necessary, enter as often as you want," so I am.

That's great. How many times?

Well, this batch makes it 1,650,000.

I should win 32.6% of the prizes, including the car.

That takes the fun out of it, doesn't it?

They set up the rules.

And lately, I've realized that I have certain materialistic needs.

So, uh... Where are the questions?

I memorized them. Sure.

Hmm. Uh...

I've got to go to sleep.

Did you want to borrow my pajamas?

No, no, thanks.

He's a pretty smart kid. CHRIS: Yeah.

He's gonna grow five inches within the next year.

WOMAN: Mitch? Jordan?

Mitch Taylor? Uh...

Who... My name is Sherry Nugil.

I've been waiting three years for this.

For what? For you to be old enough.

For what? For this.

(LOUD WHIRRING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Come in!

Oh, hi, Mitch! I'm just sanding the floor!

Could you turn that off a second?

(WHIRRING STOPS)

What's the matter? How come you're so sweaty?

I just came back from helping Chris

and there was a woman in my room.

Pardon? A woman. You know, she was... Adult.

Oh. Well, she wanted...

She wanted to... God, how can I say this so not to offend you?

Jump you? Yeah.

You made it with her? No, no, no, that's what was unbelievable.

Pardon? It's true, I stopped her.

I told her I didn't want to. Why?

Because I really did want to.

Huh? I wanted to,

but not with her.

Oh.

This is my class hour. It's the 10th of May.

What is it? What are you doing here?

(SHOUTING) What am I doing... What are you doing here?

You don't seem to realize, do you? Decker is dangerous. Where's the laser?

It's coming. It's coming! Ha!

It's not even breathing hard! Jerry!

He wants the laser by the end of the week.

Now, you listen to me, you groveling bug!

I have exams. I am doing what I can. So get off my back.

Well, I think that should just about do the trick,

as long as you stay cool.

Let's go, girls. What do you m-m-mean by that?

(STUTTERING) It's a figure of speech, Bodie.

You guys coming to the exam, or what?

Well, I guess so,

seeing as how Hathaway's gone to the trouble of having one and everything.

You coming, buddy-boy?

Uh, I'll catch up with you guys, I have to go to the bathroom.

Okay, Kent, but I don't think that's gonna help your confidence any, do you?

* Buddy-boy

Buddy-boy.

Let's see how funny you think this is.

Buddy-boy.

All right, we...

(DOOR CLOSES)

Sorry.

We have exactly three hours for this.

And remember, we believe in the honor system here, boys and girls.

Though it will be readily apparent to me

how many of you have absorbed this material, and how many of you haven't.

Take one and pass them back just like your IQ was normal.

Good luck, buddy-boy.

Do you mind if I name my first child after you?

"Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.

Whoa!

No, no!

No!

No! No!

My condolences on your meltdown, Knight.

What meltdown, Kent?

I'm not saying that you had one,

because how would I know?

But just in case you do.

You slime. It's your own fault, Knight.

Didn't anyone ever tell you to make sure your optics are clean?

(SCREAMS)

Yeah!

(SHOUTING)

How's it feel to be frozen?

Yeah, ice is nice!

Lazlo, buddy! Have you seen Mitch?

No. No?

Mitch! He's not in there.

How did you do? How did I do? I passed, but I failed. Yeah!

Well, then I'm happy and sad for you. Thank you.

I've got to find Mitch! Mitch!

It's beautiful. He's not in the toilet.

I'm going to freeze it. I think I can get at least an order of magnitude

because it's gonna be frozen, maybe bromide.

I think I can do it, but I'm not sure. I've got to find Mitch.

Take care, bye.

Hey, Mitch! You're not Mitch! And you're not either!

Hey, Lazlo, want to see a demonstration of gravity? Yeah!

It can be done. That's what we know! That's what works.

(CHRIS SHOUTING)

Yeah, Mitch! Where are you?

(SCREAMING)

You jerk!

I'm very sorry! I'll buy you a car!

I don't have one. It's my dad's!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Mitch!

(DOORBELL RINGING)

What the... Hey, how's it going, Jerry?

What do you want, Knight? World peace.

But this isn't the time to discuss it. Get out.

There's something that might interest you, Jerry.

I'm not interested in anything you have to say.

Dr. Hathaway... CHRIS: Susan?

I solved the power problem, Jerry.

Jerry?

Take a cab.

CHRIS: So, you'll hammer later.

(SCREAMING)

CHRIS: As you know, Mitch and I were working on the cyanide system.

Earlier today, it ate itself.

But these little setbacks are sometimes just what we need

to take a giant step forward, right, Kent?

Needless to say, I was a little despondent about the meltdown.

But in the midst of my preparation for hari-kari, it came to me.

It is possible to synthesize excited bromide in an argon matrix.

Yes, it's an excimer frozen in its excited state. That's impossible.

It's a chemical laser, but in solid, not gaseous form.

Put simply, in deference to you, Kent,

it's like lasing a stick of dynamite.

As soon as we apply a field,

we couple to a state that is radiatively coupled to the ground state.

I figure we can extract

at least ten to the 21st photons per cubic centimeter,

which will give one kilojoule per cubic centimeter

at 600 nanometers, or one megajoule per liter.

That's hotter than the sun.

It's small. It's supposed to be small.

Of course, we only have the one sample.

And it's going to destroy itself as it lases.

But everything's going to be fine.

(WHIRRING)

Isn't it, Mitch? Yeah.

This is a complete waste of time.

ALL: Shh!

Do me a favor Kent and put the target in front of the cinder blocks, will you?

MITCH: Okay, come behind the shield.

Okay, Mr. Taylor,

anytime you're ready.

Okay.

Ready? Laser on!

Whoa!

Oh! Fantastic! All right!

Look at this!

Wow.

MITCH: Sorry about the window, sir.

And the trees across the quad!

What a team!

You did it. KENT: I did my part, too.

You graduate. You get the job.

What? You can't! That's my job.

I've done everything you ever asked me to.

You can't do this!

Look, look! I teach your classes for you.

I get your laundry. What is he doing?

I mounted the optics for the phase conjugate target tracking system.

Now, look at this mirror.

Look! Look!

Wait. Wait. MITCH: Let's celebrate!

Absolutely.

(LAUGHS)

ICK: You see anything unusual on the campus?

ICK: Ow, my glasses. Okay, well, try not to wobble.

There's a complete hole.

That's pretty. Look.

(CROWD CHATTERING)

Look at that! Let's get a burger.

Come on, let's go. What? In there?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

MITCH: This place is wild.

Did you see that? You want to meet her? She lives in Playa del Rey.

Are you gonna take me home to meet your parents? No.

Why? Are you ashamed of me?

No, them! Oh.

You better remember the right people to thank.

I'd like to thank my fish, Albert. Your fish?

He got me! I love it!

What I was talking about...

It's a... What are you trying to say?

CHRIS: Lazlo.

Lazlo, I'm so glad you came out. You want a hamburger?

I've been thinking about your laser solution.

You've increased the output to six megawatts.

CHRIS: Yeah, about that.

What would you use that for?

Making enormous Swiss cheese.

The applications are unlimited. No.

With the fuel you've come up with

the beam would last for what, 15 seconds?

What good is that?

Lazlo, that doesn't matter. I respect you but I graduated.

Let the engineers figure out a use for it. That's not our concern.

Maybe somebody already has a use for it.

One for which it was specifically designed.

You mean, Dr. Hathaway had something in mind all along?

Look at the facts, very high-powered, portable,

limited firing time, unlimited range.

All you need is a tracking system

and a large spinning mirror and you could vaporize a human target from space.

This is not good.

No.

JORDAN: What happened?

Oh, no.

Chris. I'm all right.

They took everything. Kent's tracking system's gone.

How could you build that mirror?

He lied to us. It's easy to lie to you, Mitch.

You trust people. I'm a cynic.

I'm such an asshole.

I understand how you feel, Chris. And you're right.

But what we should be doing now is trying to find out what he's doing.

MITCH: Kent.

Shh, you guys!

(GAS WHOOSHING)

We'll have two minutes. Pardon?

(DOOR CLOSING)

BOY: Hi. Hi.

(HEAVY THUD)

Open his mouth.

Okay, um, bulldogs.

And transceiver.

And tweezers.

See, it was the braces that gave me the idea. They're a perfect antenna.

His whole head becomes a speaker.

ICK: About time someone put it to good use.

Kent?

(DEEP VOICE) Kent, wake up, Kent!

Ow! Kent!

What?

I'm talking to you, Kent.

What is this?

I said I'm talking to you. No.

Yeah!

Well, I'm not asleep. Must be overworked.

You're not overworked, Kent. Well, I'm not insane!

Or am I? That remains to be seen, Kent.

But we are having a conversation.

Okay, who is this? This is Jesus, Kent.

And you've been a very...

Naughty boy.

All right. Who is this?

Cut the crap. You've built a weapon. What?

What do you think a secret phase conjugate...

Tracking system is for?

A big mirror makes a big beam.

I guess it could be.

Where's the laser now?

I... I overheard Jerry mention something about a test...

On the 27th, but I don't know where. It's classified.

What? Oh, uh, nothing.

I want you to think about what you've done, Kent.

And from now on,

stop playing with yourself.

It is God.

(SIGHING) Now what?

Phase two.

What is it with you?

(DOG BARKS)

What's that?

These military people are so untrusting.

CHRIS: We can't get on-base clearance?

LAZLO: Oh, we will. It's just gonna take six hours.

Forget it.

How do these look?

Terrible. Mine looks like him and his looks like me.

Great, I hope. MITCH: What if these don't fool anybody?

They shoot us.

ID.

O-de-o-de-o. Show these to the guard at the next gate.

Okey-dokey, you bet.

(COUGHS)

IDs.

Snap it up. We just flew in. We're late, we're tired,

we're hungry, we rented this stupid car!

Are you out of your mind? You've got to intimidate these guys.

So be cool, it's okay.

You're not on the list.

(NERVOUS LAUGH) List? Not on the list?

That's because we're classified.

MITCH: Yeah.

(PHONE RINGS)

Security. Yes, sir.

Aren't you guys a little young to be technicians?

Lasers are a young science.

Okay, you made me say it.

Now we're both in trouble.

Look, I'll call the duty officer.

Ah... Hey, airborne!

Don't do that.

If you make that call, it's our jobs. We're four hours late.

Give us a break, will you, buddy?

Someday you might be in the private sector, too, right?

MITCH: Yeah.

Yes.

We're dead. Oh, no.

SECOND GUARD: Yes, sir. All right.

Absolutely, sir.

Consider it done.

Yes, sir.

Look for anything out of the ordinary. Okay.

(WHISPERING) Mitch, Mitch, come here.

My God.

CHRIS: Come on.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(MEN CHATTERING)

MAN 1: Primary and secondary laser activation.

MAN 2: Processor A. MAN 1: Check.

MAN 2: Processor B. MAN 1: Check.

MAN 2: Communications link. All the diagnostics seem okay. MAN 1: Open, encryption on.

MAN 2: Final check.

65 degrees, 19 minutes. Longitude 44 degrees, 9 minutes.

All systems go. We're finished here, fellas.

What?

Okay, this little polynomial should keep the computer

so busy it doesn't even know we're here.

JORDAN: Where are they?

We've got a connection.

CHRIS ON RADIO: Abbott to Costello. This is Costello.

We've got the goodies.

Okay, we've computed target coordinates for trajectory adjustment.

Roger, we're sending.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

What is it?

Oh, nothing.

You didn't think we'd blow all this money to test in space, did you?

Well, actually, yes, I did. Because that is what it is designed for.

But if in your wisdom

you feel that we should learn to crawl before we walk,

I mean, that's... That's fine, too, really.

Attention! What?

Superior officer in the room. As you were.

Excuse me. We're ready for the final on-board laser check.

Shh!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MITCH: (WHISPERING) All clear.

I'm replacing the prom with our e-prom.

Okay, shoot.

May I have the coordinates, please?

34 degrees, 10 minutes, 15.21 seconds north.

119 degrees.

Seven minutes.

Follow me. Right over this way.

I'm gonna go check the stairs.

Chris, he's coming! Hathaway's coming!

Mitch has informed me that Herr Professor is approaching.

What do we do? Oh, please hurry! Dr. Hathaway's coming!

I don't work well under pressure.

Watch your head, there.

I hope that does it. Okay, Chris... I mean Abbott, hello?

Hello?

They're gone!

Okay, fine. Fine.

Now we'll see if it works.

Dr. Gore here will explain any questions you might have.

MAN: Yes, I was wondering is there any problem with reusing the weapon?

WOMAN: Well, no, no problem.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER )

WOMAN: The beauty of this system is that the fuel laser results...

Everything all right here?

Why shouldn't it be?

(MEN CHATTERING)

Well, I think that just about sums it up, don't you?

Shall we take our exit?

Okay, they're gone. That was getting close.

Nothing like borrowing a B-1, huh, General?

DON: What is it?

Nothing.

"Diagnosis of schizophrenia by questioners and objective personhood."

(DEEP VOICE) Hi, Kent. Oh.

I thought you'd gone. Not yet.

Have you been touching yourself?

Yes. I mean, no.

Good. Listen, Kent.

Dad... You know, my father, God... Wants to show you something.

Why? I meant, "What?"

I've learned not to ask.

Look, he wants you to wait...

In front of Dr. Hathaway's house...

At 639 Ivy Crest Drive at precisely 7:08 this morning.

Ivy Crest? Just wait there and you shall receive a sign.

Do not despair and do not go inside.

Well, why not?

Hello? Hello, Jesus.

He hung up.

Crossbow 1, radar contact.

Take up a heading of 025.

Climb and maintain flight level 650.

MAN ON RADIO: Roger, 025 out of hydrometer flight level 650.

They're here.

Ah, Mr. Knight.

Why is it that I am not surprised to see you here?

And I suppose you have an explanation

for this so-called event that we're to witness.

Yes, sir, I do. But first, let me take this opportunity to compliment you

on your fashion sense, particularly, your slippers.

Yes, well, uh,

Philomena likes them. Hey, guys.

Chris. Good morning.

Ah, Congressman Dougton. What brings you around?

I was told there was a situation here

of critical international importance.

All weapon functions will be controlled from this command module,

just as they would be from space.

In fact, this is an exact duplicate of the vehicle cockpit.

The accuracy and the power will be as exact.

MAN ON RADIO: We are coming in on the target.

HATHAWAY: Open the doors.

Crossbow, open bomb bay doors.

Those are very serious accusations. Yes, sir, I know.

If it's true, I'm going to need proof.

Gentlemen, I think we'll be able accommodate you both in just one minute.

Duck. Oh, sir, down.

Now, you listen to me, Jesus.

This is Jerry's house, and we're very close.

So, if you're not gonna answer me, I'm going to have to go in.

So, I'm going.

CHRIS: Kent! MITCH: No, Kent! Wait!

Get away! ALL: Get away from there!

JORDAN: Don't go in there!

CHRIS: You can't go. Back, Kent!

Target locked. In ten.

Nine. Eight.

ALL: Kent! Come out! Come out, Kent!

Okay, God, let me have it!

(JORDAN SCREAMS)

CHRIS: Oh, look!

Oh!

Ahh...

(POPPING)

Popcorn.

Oh!

No.

(ALL CHATTERING)

I don't understand. Did it fire?

Did it fire? Yes, but it's not lasing efficiently.

Shut it down! Yes! Shut it down?

Jerry, I want to know what the problem is.

Shut it down! Shut the field down! I am trying!

Kent!

(POPPING)

Whee!

Whee! (CHUCKLES) Kent.

Kent! JORDAN: Hey, Kent!

Kent! JORDAN: Kent!

CHRIS: Kent, you okay? That was great.

(LAUGHING)

Something is very wrong.

Out!

Unlock the bird's-eye. Unlocked.

I'm tracking where the shot went.

It worked, I know it worked.

(ALL CHATTERING)

What? Oh, no.

My house. DECKER: What have you done?

All right!

Look at the corner! Great!

(HORN HONKING)

It's Lazlo in a Winnebago.

Lazlo, buddy.

LAZLO: I think we used too much.

I'm sorry you missed it. Yeah, I had to pack.

Why? I'm getting married.

To whom? What is all this stuff?

Oh, yeah, I won! 31.8% of the prizes, though,

I'll have to figure that out, but not this summer.

Hi. Sherry? Sherry Nugil?

SHERRY: Isn't it great? This is number one.

I've been looking for him for ten years.

What can I say? She loves me.

Congratulations. Okay.

LAZLO: Well, anyway, you'll have to come and visit us.

What do you mean? I have a survival place in Wyoming.

We're going to live there.

It's getting kind of weird around here, you know?

Bye! Bye!

Goodbye.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Do you think it's getting too weird around here? Absolutely.

I didn't notice. I like it.

(LAUGHS)

(ALL CHEERING)

(EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD PLAYING)

* Welcome to your life

* There's no turning back

* Even while we sleep

* We will find you acting on your best behavior

* Turn your back on Mother Nature

* Everybody wants to rule the world

* It's my own design

* It's my own remorse

* Help me to decide

* Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure

* Nothing ever lasts forever

(BARKING)

* Everybody wants to rule the world

* There's a room where the light won't find you

* Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

* When they do I'll be right behind you

* So glad we've almost made it

* So sad they had to fade it

* Everybody wants to rule the world

* I can't stand this indecision

* Married with a lack of vision

* Everybody wants to rule the

* Say that you'll never, never, never, never mean it

* One headline, why believe it?

* Everybody wants to rule the world

* I can't stand this indecision

* Married with a lack of vision

* Everybody wants to rule the

* Say that you'll never, never, never, never mean it

* One headline, why believe it?

* Everybody wants to rule the world

* All for freedom and for pleasure

* Nothing ever lasts forever

* Everybody wants to rule the world