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1
00:00:03,515 --> 00:00:05,386
Hey, what you reading?
2
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,127
A magazine.
3
00:00:07,170 --> 00:00:09,172
Oh. Making a collage for school?
4
00:00:09,216 --> 00:00:10,957
No, just reading it.
5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,741
Look at that.
6
00:00:12,785 --> 00:00:15,788
Maybe Sheldon isn't
the only bookworm around here.
7
00:00:15,831 --> 00:00:16,702
Which magazine?
8
00:00:16,745 --> 00:00:18,617
Cosmopolitan. What?
9
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:21,620
It's a magazine
for today's woman.
10
00:00:21,663 --> 00:00:24,623
Hey! I was about to find out
what turns a man on.
11
00:00:24,666 --> 00:00:25,928
Where'd you get this?
12
00:00:25,972 --> 00:00:28,409
Heather. I traded
a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
13
00:00:28,453 --> 00:00:30,716
Well, this is going in the garbage.
You sure?
14
00:00:30,759 --> 00:00:33,588
It's got some great tips on
how to spice up your marriage.
15
00:00:33,632 --> 00:00:36,330
My marriage is fine, thank you.
16
00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:39,638
And you are not to bring filth
like this into our house again.
17
00:00:39,681 --> 00:00:41,640
That's not fair.
Sheldon reads dirty stuff
18
00:00:41,683 --> 00:00:43,772
all the time,
and you don't say anything.
19
00:00:43,816 --> 00:00:44,904
He does not.
20
00:00:44,947 --> 00:00:46,862
Check out the comic book
on his desk.
21
00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:51,345
[sighs]
22
00:00:51,389 --> 00:00:52,781
MARY: What?
23
00:00:52,825 --> 00:00:53,913
Oh, my goodness.
24
00:00:53,956 --> 00:00:55,741
Oh.
25
00:00:55,784 --> 00:00:57,656
Oh, my.
26
00:00:57,699 --> 00:00:59,005
Hold on.
27
00:00:59,048 --> 00:01:00,485
No. No.
28
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:03,444
Th-This blue man's backside
is all over the place.
29
00:01:03,488 --> 00:01:06,534
On page 112, you get to see
his front side.
30
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,058
[gasps] Oh!
31
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:10,625
[sighs]
32
00:01:10,669 --> 00:01:13,367
I'll be back. Where you going?
33
00:01:13,411 --> 00:01:15,587
To give the owner
of that comic book store
34
00:01:15,630 --> 00:01:17,197
a piece of my mind! Cool.
35
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,808
And then I'm calling
Heather's mom!
36
00:01:19,852 --> 00:01:22,507
Aw.
37
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:25,379
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
38
00:01:25,423 --> 00:01:28,295
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
39
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,732
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
40
00:01:30,776 --> 00:01:33,344
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
41
00:01:33,387 --> 00:01:35,386
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
42
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,565
== Synced & corrected by MaxPayne ==
43
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:43,397
♪ Someone told me long ago ♪
44
00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:46,052
♪ There's a calm
before the storm ♪
45
00:01:46,095 --> 00:01:47,314
♪ I know ♪
46
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:50,056
♪ It's been coming
for some time... ♪
47
00:01:50,099 --> 00:01:52,885
Are there any
Vietnamese superheroes?
48
00:01:52,928 --> 00:01:55,366
There's one called
Half-Face.
49
00:01:55,409 --> 00:01:57,019
Why?
50
00:01:57,063 --> 00:01:59,282
The communist government
forced him to build bombs,
51
00:01:59,326 --> 00:02:00,893
and one blew off half his face.
52
00:02:00,936 --> 00:02:03,591
The left half or the right half?
53
00:02:03,635 --> 00:02:04,984
The bottom half.
54
00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:07,987
That's an important
half.[door bells jingle]
55
00:02:09,989 --> 00:02:12,121
Excuse me.
Did you sell this to my son?
56
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:13,601
I don't know.
Who's your son?
57
00:02:13,645 --> 00:02:15,516
The little boy in the corner.
58
00:02:17,736 --> 00:02:20,086
Which one? Sheldon Cooper.
59
00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:22,436
Oh. Yeah.
60
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,916
Look at him!
61
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:26,571
He is the same size as
one of the dolls you sell here.
62
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:27,876
Those are action figures.
63
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,791
Where is your sense
of responsibility?
64
00:02:29,835 --> 00:02:31,445
Have you looked
inside this book?
65
00:02:31,489 --> 00:02:32,577
Because I have.
66
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,100
ADULT SHELDON: At that moment,
67
00:02:34,143 --> 00:02:37,146
I felt a subtle heat
rising through my body.
68
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,888
I was used to being humiliated
by my siblings
69
00:02:39,932 --> 00:02:41,803
on a daily basis,
but from my mother?
70
00:02:41,847 --> 00:02:43,805
This was new territory.
71
00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:46,373
Mom, you're embarrassing me.
72
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,983
Oh, is that right?
73
00:02:48,027 --> 00:02:49,681
Well, guess what.
I don't care.
74
00:02:49,724 --> 00:02:51,291
And if I catch you
doing it again,
75
00:02:51,334 --> 00:02:53,859
I'll be back with my husband;
He is way scarier than me.
76
00:02:53,902 --> 00:02:55,904
I doubt that. Let's go.
77
00:02:55,948 --> 00:02:58,080
But I came here with Tam.
78
00:02:58,124 --> 00:02:59,995
Tam, you coming or not?
79
00:03:00,039 --> 00:03:01,475
I'm good.
80
00:03:01,519 --> 00:03:02,650
♪ I want to know ♪
81
00:03:02,694 --> 00:03:05,348
♪ Have you ever seen the rain? ♪
82
00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:06,828
♪ I want to know ♪
83
00:03:06,872 --> 00:03:09,962
♪ Have you ever
seen the rain... ♪
84
00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:11,746
[door closes]
85
00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:15,663
As you can see,
I'm not related to them.
86
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,842
WEATHERMAN [over radio]:
And in local weather,
87
00:03:20,886 --> 00:03:23,410
the tornado watch issued Tuesday
is still in effect for the area.
88
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:26,413
Stay right here for updates
as we get 'em.
89
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:29,285
I don't understand why
you'd even be interested
90
00:03:29,329 --> 00:03:30,678
in a book like that.
91
00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:32,332
One of the characters
is a scientist
92
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:34,116
who worked on
the Manhattan Project.
93
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,510
Well, it's filled with
violence and nudity,
94
00:03:36,554 --> 00:03:38,425
and you are done looking at it.
95
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:39,992
But comics are a form of art.
96
00:03:40,035 --> 00:03:41,384
You wouldn't forbid me
from looking
97
00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:43,996
at Michelangelo's David
just because he's nude.
98
00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:46,085
When a statue
of your naked blue fella
99
00:03:46,128 --> 00:03:47,956
is on display at the Vatican,
we'll talk.
100
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,394
Actually, David is at the
Accademia Gallery in Florence.
101
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:54,833
Doesn't matter. I don't want you
looking at his bottom either.
102
00:03:56,748 --> 00:03:58,445
Where's Mom?
103
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:01,056
Chewing out the guy
who runs the comic book store.
104
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,101
Why?
105
00:04:02,144 --> 00:04:03,972
She found
an inappropriate comic
106
00:04:04,016 --> 00:04:06,453
that Sheldon had
and went ballistic.
107
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:07,933
She also took my Cosmo.
108
00:04:07,976 --> 00:04:10,022
What's a Cosmo?
109
00:04:10,065 --> 00:04:12,372
A magazine for today's woman.
110
00:04:12,415 --> 00:04:14,026
Sucks for you.
111
00:04:14,069 --> 00:04:16,985
You know, if I had something in
my room she might disapprove of,
112
00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:19,771
I might be looking
for a real good hiding place
113
00:04:19,814 --> 00:04:21,250
right about now.
114
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,252
I think I'm okay.
115
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:24,950
Your air vent?
116
00:04:28,257 --> 00:04:30,216
[chuckles]
117
00:04:30,259 --> 00:04:31,522
Boys are dumb.
118
00:04:31,565 --> 00:04:34,002
D-U-M-B.
119
00:04:34,046 --> 00:04:36,352
Dumb-a?
120
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:48,060
What are you doing?
121
00:04:48,103 --> 00:04:50,323
Confiscating your comic books.
122
00:04:50,366 --> 00:04:52,325
You can have them back
when you're 18.
123
00:04:52,368 --> 00:04:54,240
You're taking
Casper the Friendly Ghost?
124
00:04:54,283 --> 00:04:56,808
Ghosts are sacrilegious.
Nothing friendly about that.
125
00:04:56,851 --> 00:04:58,592
Very well.
126
00:04:58,636 --> 00:05:00,594
There's one more book
that belongs in the box,
127
00:05:00,638 --> 00:05:05,860
filled with adultery, genocide,
and even human sacrifice.
128
00:05:05,904 --> 00:05:08,689
You think you're so smart.
129
00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:12,737
I do. And yet you continue
to treat me like a child.
130
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,000
You know what?
131
00:05:15,043 --> 00:05:17,829
You want me to treat you
like an adult, you got it.
132
00:05:17,872 --> 00:05:20,266
From this moment on,
I am done mommy-ing you.
133
00:05:20,309 --> 00:05:24,357
Wonderful. Does that mean
I can have my comic books back?
134
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,490
Comic books are for children.
You're an adult.
135
00:05:33,046 --> 00:05:37,050
ADULT SHELDON: My new adult
responsibilities began that night.
136
00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:39,270
Luckily, a cookbook
is nothing more
137
00:05:39,313 --> 00:05:40,793
than a set of instructions.
138
00:05:40,837 --> 00:05:42,882
And if there's one thing
I shine at,
139
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,579
it's following instructions.
140
00:05:46,973 --> 00:05:49,236
Aw.
141
00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:53,893
What's Sheldon doing?
[blender whirring in kitchen]
142
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,287
Cooking his own dinner. Why?
143
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:58,419
He wants to take care
of himself like an adult.
144
00:05:58,463 --> 00:06:01,161
I plan on putting that off
for as long as possible.
145
00:06:01,205 --> 00:06:03,642
Really? It's a plan?
146
00:06:03,685 --> 00:06:04,730
[clattering in kitchen]
147
00:06:04,773 --> 00:06:06,688
Maybe I should go
keep an eye on him.
148
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,952
No. Let him handle this
on his own.
149
00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:10,301
I wouldn't mind watching.
150
00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:12,042
[sighs] Let's just say grace.
151
00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:14,653
[loud clattering]I can't.
I got to go in there.
152
00:06:14,696 --> 00:06:15,915
If she's going, I'm going.
153
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,003
No one's going anywhere.
154
00:06:17,047 --> 00:06:18,875
If he needs help, he can ask.
155
00:06:18,918 --> 00:06:20,180
SHELDON: I don't need help!
156
00:06:20,224 --> 00:06:22,574
Everything's under control!
157
00:06:22,617 --> 00:06:24,663
[sighs]
158
00:06:24,706 --> 00:06:26,708
You're really holding
the line on this one.
159
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:29,189
I'm sorry,
but he just pushed my buttons.
160
00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:31,931
Don't be sorry.
I'm diggin' it.
161
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,454
Ew.
Gross.
162
00:06:33,498 --> 00:06:34,325
I agree.
163
00:06:34,368 --> 00:06:37,110
Pretty gross.
164
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,376
Y'all are mean.
165
00:06:44,117 --> 00:06:45,684
How was your chicken?
166
00:06:45,727 --> 00:06:49,644
Not bad. The dish soap
gave it a nice lemony flavor.
167
00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:52,473
All right, bedtime.
168
00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:54,693
Night, Mama. Night, baby.
169
00:06:54,736 --> 00:06:56,086
Have sweet dreams.
170
00:06:56,129 --> 00:06:57,696
Love you.
Love you, too.
171
00:06:57,739 --> 00:06:59,176
[kisses]
172
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,005
Sheldon, I assume you don't
need to be tucked in?
173
00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:04,529
I can handle it, thank you.
174
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,842
Okay.
175
00:07:13,886 --> 00:07:16,976
Wow. No good night kiss?
176
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,978
That's up to your brother.
177
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,676
That won't be necessary.
178
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,549
Fine.
179
00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:28,422
[door closes]
180
00:07:28,466 --> 00:07:30,207
[TV playing quietly]
181
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,644
Had enough?
You gonna back down?
182
00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:33,862
No.
183
00:07:33,906 --> 00:07:35,603
He's real smart,
but he needs to learn
184
00:07:35,647 --> 00:07:37,040
he doesn't know everything.
185
00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:41,435
Woman, you are getting sexier
by the second. Whew.
186
00:07:41,479 --> 00:07:44,047
Hey, now that you're
treating him like an adult,
187
00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:45,613
can I have his allowance?
188
00:07:45,657 --> 00:07:49,443
That allowance is for chores,
which you already don't do.
189
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:51,315
Come on. We all know
I'm your favorite.
190
00:07:51,358 --> 00:07:54,883
You're not even
his third favorite.
191
00:07:57,669 --> 00:07:59,888
ADULT SHELDON: Making my
school lunch the next morning
192
00:07:59,932 --> 00:08:03,370
proved no easier than dinner.
[grunting, groaning]
193
00:08:03,414 --> 00:08:05,720
Maybe you're turning it
the wrong way.
194
00:08:05,764 --> 00:08:07,592
[straining]: Don't you have
anything better to do?
195
00:08:07,635 --> 00:08:09,507
Not better than this.
196
00:08:09,550 --> 00:08:12,727
This is nothing
a little science can't fix.
197
00:08:12,771 --> 00:08:14,903
All I need to do
is break the pressure seal.
198
00:08:17,602 --> 00:08:20,039
[grunts]
199
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,346
I don't think
that was enough science.
200
00:08:22,389 --> 00:08:23,738
MARY: Morning, Missy.
201
00:08:23,782 --> 00:08:26,132
Morning, Sheldon.Morning.
202
00:08:26,176 --> 00:08:27,829
Morning, Mary.
203
00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:29,396
[clears throat]
204
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,398
Mom, you need to sign
this consent form.
205
00:08:31,442 --> 00:08:32,834
What's it for?
206
00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:34,097
Field trip.
207
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:35,663
Where? Museum.
208
00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:37,622
Which one? Does it matter?
209
00:08:37,665 --> 00:08:40,973
It's not like I'm gonna
learn anything, anyway.
210
00:08:41,017 --> 00:08:43,584
It's the planetarium
at the science museum.
211
00:08:43,628 --> 00:08:45,543
And I need you
to sign mine, too.
212
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:47,762
Oh. It's interesting
that an adult
213
00:08:47,806 --> 00:08:50,287
would need his mother
to sign a consent form.
214
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,984
And here we go.
215
00:08:52,028 --> 00:08:53,986
I don't need you to sign it,
the school does.
216
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,857
So you're saying
even the school doesn't think
217
00:08:55,901 --> 00:08:58,904
that you're mature enough
to make all your own decisions.
218
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,081
ADULT SHELDON: In that moment,
219
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:06,042
I was so angry with her,
I almost opened the jar.
220
00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:08,957
[school bell rings]
221
00:09:10,655 --> 00:09:13,571
I'm ready to go to college.
222
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,749
Okay. Where you thinking?
223
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,316
Somewhere with
a good science program,
224
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,057
but far enough away
225
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:24,016
to make my mom cry herself to
sleep every night that I'm gone.
226
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:26,323
You're applying to
college out of spite?
227
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,630
I see why you're
the guidance counselor.
228
00:09:29,674 --> 00:09:31,502
Okay, let's see.
229
00:09:31,545 --> 00:09:33,808
What about Caltech in Pasadena?
230
00:09:33,852 --> 00:09:35,984
I can't see myself
living in California.
231
00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:38,161
I don't trust
their carefree lifestyle.
232
00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:40,250
Okay. Um...
233
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,600
How about MIT in Boston?
234
00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:44,602
Do they have
a strong physics program?
235
00:09:44,645 --> 00:09:46,299
They're more of
an engineering school.
236
00:09:46,343 --> 00:09:48,127
Next.
237
00:09:50,782 --> 00:09:52,914
There's always Harvard.
238
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:59,095
Hmm. I don't like cold weather,
but I do look good in maroon.
239
00:10:00,705 --> 00:10:03,055
All right, Harvard it is.
Thank you for your help.
240
00:10:03,099 --> 00:10:05,579
Are you interested in
applying to a safety school
241
00:10:05,623 --> 00:10:06,928
in case you don't get in?
242
00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:09,975
Safety school. You're funny.
243
00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:13,457
So, how was everyone's day?
244
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,198
I cut open a frog at school.
245
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:17,113
For science class?
246
00:10:17,156 --> 00:10:18,592
Sure.
247
00:10:18,636 --> 00:10:20,942
We should put a lock
on the knife drawer.
248
00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,118
[sighs]
249
00:10:24,642 --> 00:10:25,991
What are you eating?
250
00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:28,254
An English muffin with
ketchup and spray cheese.
251
00:10:28,298 --> 00:10:29,342
No fair.
252
00:10:29,386 --> 00:10:30,474
Lucky.
253
00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:32,650
Sorry I spent an hour
making meatloaf.
254
00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:34,260
MEEMAW: So, Moonpie,
255
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:36,175
how's adult life treating you?
256
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,481
Very well, actually.
257
00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:39,222
I'm working on my application
to Harvard.
258
00:10:39,265 --> 00:10:41,049
Is that so?
259
00:10:41,093 --> 00:10:43,313
Yes. And I'm planning
on transferring there
260
00:10:43,356 --> 00:10:44,749
as soon as possible.
261
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:46,751
You're not going away
to Harvard.
262
00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:48,666
I don't believe
you have a say in this.
263
00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:51,930
Okay, well,
264
00:10:51,973 --> 00:10:53,018
Harvard's real expensive.
265
00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:55,151
How do you plan
on paying for it?
266
00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:56,935
Oh, I'm sure
I'll get a scholarship.
267
00:10:56,978 --> 00:10:59,416
- Oh, are you?
- Yes, I am.
268
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,331
[chuckles]: Okay. Okay.
269
00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:04,203
Let's just take a deep breath
and talk about something else.
270
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,683
Fine.
271
00:11:06,988 --> 00:11:09,469
I want to hear about that frog.
272
00:11:09,513 --> 00:11:10,818
A different something else.
273
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:12,298
MARY: I just
realized something.
274
00:11:12,342 --> 00:11:15,345
College applications cost money
just to send in.
275
00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:17,956
They do?
$50, $60 a pop.
276
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:20,828
I don't believe you have
that kind of money, do you?
277
00:11:23,091 --> 00:11:24,658
Will you excuse me?
278
00:11:24,702 --> 00:11:27,748
I have to go take
a cold shower.
279
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:37,233
Hello, Randall.
I would like to apply for a job.
280
00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:39,148
You would?
Yes.
281
00:11:39,191 --> 00:11:41,629
I need to earn money
so I can apply to Harvard.
282
00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:43,587
I thought about
going to Harvard,
283
00:11:43,631 --> 00:11:46,416
but then I realized
The Shack is my passion.
284
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:48,984
So can I work here?
285
00:11:49,027 --> 00:11:51,029
Excuse me. How much RAM
does this computer have?
286
00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:53,249
Um, I can check
on that for you.
287
00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:57,688
It comes with 640 kilobytes,
but it's expandable up to 768.
288
00:11:58,863 --> 00:12:00,648
Well?
289
00:12:00,691 --> 00:12:02,954
Do you even have a résumé?
290
00:12:02,998 --> 00:12:06,828
No, but I have a report card
that'll knock your socks off.
291
00:12:06,871 --> 00:12:08,264
And what's the processor speed?
292
00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:11,136
It has the Intel 8286,
so ten megahertz.
293
00:12:13,574 --> 00:12:16,098
Sorry, Sheldon.
294
00:12:16,141 --> 00:12:18,883
I think it's against company
policy to hire little kids.
295
00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,538
But people say I'm like
an old man all the time.
296
00:12:21,582 --> 00:12:25,411
Hey, I'm one of 'em,
but the answer's still no.
297
00:12:25,455 --> 00:12:27,065
ADULT SHELDON:
When people wonder
298
00:12:27,109 --> 00:12:29,677
why Radio Shack eventually
went out of business,
299
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,722
you can point to this moment.
300
00:12:31,766 --> 00:12:33,071
[electronic door chime sounds]
301
00:12:33,115 --> 00:12:35,073
Meemaw?
302
00:12:36,118 --> 00:12:37,685
Meemaw?
303
00:12:39,295 --> 00:12:42,124
Hey! Looking sharp.
304
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:45,388
You're not gonna try to sell
me a set of knives, are you?
305
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,130
No.
It's a joke.
306
00:12:49,305 --> 00:12:50,959
'Cause of the suit.
307
00:12:51,002 --> 00:12:52,743
Okay.
308
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:54,571
I need money
for my Harvard application,
309
00:12:54,615 --> 00:12:58,575
and was wondering if there are
any jobs I could do.
310
00:12:58,619 --> 00:13:00,925
Hmm. My yard could
use a little weeding.
311
00:13:00,969 --> 00:13:03,493
I'm not terribly fond
of outdoor work.
312
00:13:03,537 --> 00:13:06,757
Plus, that garden gnome
terrifies me.
313
00:13:06,801 --> 00:13:09,412
Ernesto has that
effect on people.
314
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,935
How much does the job pay?
315
00:13:10,979 --> 00:13:12,589
Well, let me think.
How about a dollar an hour?
316
00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:15,636
How about five dollars an hour?
How about 50 cents an hour?
317
00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:17,289
Wait a minute.
What just happened?
318
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:20,597
I'll tell you what.
I'll give you a dollar. Thank you.
319
00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:23,469
[laughs quietly]
320
00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,471
[TV playing quietly]
321
00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:27,038
Hey.
Hey.
322
00:13:27,082 --> 00:13:29,780
You know how you think I
can't do anything for myself?
323
00:13:29,824 --> 00:13:32,435
I do think that, yes.
324
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,655
Well, I have something
I'd like to show you.
325
00:13:34,698 --> 00:13:36,787
You did some chores?
326
00:13:36,831 --> 00:13:38,354
Come see for yourself.
327
00:13:38,397 --> 00:13:41,618
I don't know if I'm ready
for another heart attack,
328
00:13:41,662 --> 00:13:43,664
but here we go.
329
00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:48,059
Feast your eyes.
330
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:55,589
You did all this?
331
00:13:55,632 --> 00:13:56,938
I did.
332
00:13:56,981 --> 00:14:00,376
You shoved everything in
the closet, didn't you?
333
00:14:00,419 --> 00:14:02,378
Take a look.
334
00:14:12,214 --> 00:14:14,695
I am impressed.
335
00:14:14,738 --> 00:14:15,913
You should be.
336
00:14:15,957 --> 00:14:18,002
There may be hope for you yet.
337
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:29,144
I thought that showed ingenuity.
338
00:14:31,059 --> 00:14:32,843
Okay, here you go.[wind rushing]
339
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:37,239
I got you a shovel
and a bucket and some gloves.
340
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:40,546
Did you check the gloves
for spiders?
341
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:44,376
Is this my first day as Meemaw?
342
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:46,248
ELMER FUDD [over TV]: It's not?
343
00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:48,903
No. It's duck-hunting season.
344
00:14:48,946 --> 00:14:52,733
That, sir,
is an in-mitigated fabrication!
345
00:14:52,776 --> 00:14:54,952
It's wabbit season! Duck season.
346
00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:56,301
[alarm blaring over TV]
347
00:14:56,345 --> 00:14:57,738
Not again.
348
00:14:57,781 --> 00:14:59,261
What's wrong, baby?
349
00:14:59,304 --> 00:15:01,611
I'm trying to hear about
duck season and wabbit season,
350
00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:04,092
but they keep talking about
this stupid tornado.
351
00:15:04,135 --> 00:15:08,836
MAN [over TV]: The National Weather
Service has issued a tornado watch
352
00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:11,839
for the following counties:
Angelina...
353
00:15:11,882 --> 00:15:13,884
[wind whistling softly]
354
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,975
Hey, Shelly, how's
it going over there?
355
00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:20,325
I hate everything about this.
356
00:15:20,369 --> 00:15:21,500
[chuckles quietly]
357
00:15:21,544 --> 00:15:22,980
You need to come home with me.
358
00:15:23,024 --> 00:15:24,373
No. I'm working.
359
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:27,158
There is a tornado watch.
Let's go!
360
00:15:27,202 --> 00:15:29,204
Oh, come on, Mary.
We've had a watch
361
00:15:29,247 --> 00:15:31,336
every day for two months;
Nothing ever happens.
362
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,860
SHELDON: I think
you're just worried
363
00:15:32,903 --> 00:15:36,124
I'm earning the money to send in
my college application.
364
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:39,170
I am worried it is not safe
out here. Let's go!
365
00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:41,172
I can worry about my own safety,
thank you.
366
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:43,044
I don't care
if you think you're an adult.
367
00:15:43,087 --> 00:15:46,177
I'm your mother, and you will do as I say.
[siren blaring in distance]
368
00:15:46,221 --> 00:15:48,005
Well, that ain't good.
369
00:15:48,049 --> 00:15:50,442
You believe me now?
370
00:15:50,486 --> 00:15:51,835
Mom?
371
00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:03,767
[thunder rumbling]
372
00:16:03,811 --> 00:16:05,116
[glass shatters in distance]
373
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,510
I 'm scared!
It' s gonna be okay.
374
00:16:07,554 --> 00:16:08,859
GEORGE SR.: Georgie!
375
00:16:08,903 --> 00:16:11,166
Help me get this in front of the window.
On it.
376
00:16:13,951 --> 00:16:15,692
Is this my bed?
Yeah.
377
00:16:15,736 --> 00:16:18,042
Aw, it took me an
hour to make it.
378
00:16:18,086 --> 00:16:19,348
[sighs]
379
00:16:19,391 --> 00:16:22,090
You okay, Moonpie?
380
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:23,918
I'm all right.
381
00:16:23,961 --> 00:16:26,094
I'm not. This is scary.
We're gonna be fine.
382
00:16:26,137 --> 00:16:28,226
This'll blow through
in a few minutes.
383
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,968
[wind howling, debris clattering outside]
384
00:16:32,535 --> 00:16:34,668
I need to pee.
385
00:16:34,711 --> 00:16:36,191
Can you hold it, baby?
386
00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:39,194
We'll find out.
387
00:16:41,588 --> 00:16:43,415
I'm not all right anymore!
388
00:16:44,591 --> 00:16:46,244
Flashlights, guys!
389
00:16:46,288 --> 00:16:48,420
What if it hits us
and we all die?
390
00:16:48,464 --> 00:16:51,728
It's not gonna hit us!
Imight hit you.
391
00:16:51,772 --> 00:16:52,990
[thunder cracks]
392
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:55,384
But first, I'm gonna hold you.
393
00:16:55,427 --> 00:16:58,039
[house rumbling, glass shatters]
394
00:16:58,082 --> 00:17:00,781
In the name of Jesus,
I place a hedge of protection
395
00:17:00,824 --> 00:17:02,826
around this house and my family.
396
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:06,438
I command this storm
to skip over our home
397
00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:07,657
in Jesus' name.
398
00:17:07,701 --> 00:17:08,789
I wish peace
399
00:17:08,832 --> 00:17:10,791
to every single person
in this room
400
00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:13,576
and declare that not one of us
will get hurt
401
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:16,448
in this storm, in Jesus' name!
402
00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:18,189
[wind howling]
403
00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:19,669
Pray harder!
404
00:17:19,713 --> 00:17:20,757
Okay.
405
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:22,759
[thunder cracks]
406
00:17:22,803 --> 00:17:24,674
[storm fades]
407
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:28,678
[birds chirping]
408
00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:35,772
ADULT SHELDON: The good news was
most of our neighborhood was spared.
409
00:17:35,816 --> 00:17:37,034
MARY: Oh.
410
00:17:37,078 --> 00:17:38,732
The bad news: My mother thought
411
00:17:38,775 --> 00:17:40,734
she had something
to do with it.
412
00:17:40,777 --> 00:17:42,344
Looks like your house is okay.
413
00:17:42,387 --> 00:17:45,260
You were just worried I might
have to come live with you.
414
00:17:45,303 --> 00:17:47,915
Oh, I think the word you're
looking for is 'terrified.'
415
00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:50,613
Hmm. Better go check on it.
416
00:17:50,657 --> 00:17:52,136
I'll come with you.
417
00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:54,138
Be careful.
418
00:17:55,662 --> 00:17:57,794
Mom?
419
00:17:57,838 --> 00:17:59,361
Yeah, baby?
420
00:18:07,674 --> 00:18:09,197
[door opens]
421
00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:14,289
You would not believe
the pee I just took.
422
00:18:16,204 --> 00:18:19,599
♪ I see skies of blue ♪
423
00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:21,688
♪ For me and you ♪
424
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:25,996
♪ And I say to myself ♪
425
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,435
♪ What a wonderful world. ♪30138
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