Original subtitles

Hi!

I'm sorry, Toaster,

but I'm actually in love with your brother, Toast!

Wait. Sorry, I mean,

I'm in love with your other brother,

Bagel!

Wow! What a twist!

This is why I love the Unikingdom Film Festival.

Everybody's so creative!

And it's tradition!

One hundred years going strong,

ever since really old Edith

made the very first moving picture.

In my day we called them

flippy-flap lookie-talkies.

I cannot wait for you all to see my film.

This year, I've crafted a sobering introspective

about the dynamic of self in society.

My opus.

Can we show it next?

That sounds super fun!

One second, Richard.

Guys, Richard's film sounds super boring.

The whole crowd is gonna fall asleep!

Oh, my gosh! Richard will be heartbroken!

And the film festival will be ruined!

-Princess, you have to show

someone else's movie.

Okay. Okay, I got this.

Oh, Richard, uh, sorry.

I was just checking the schedule. It looks like,

uh, someone else is up next.

Okay, bye!

And now, a movie by me!

And me! Hello.

BOTH: It's called...

-Badge Cops! -The Amulet

-of Katzana! -Agents of Justiceness.

Uh, what?

Roll it!

These mean streets are messy with bad guy crime.

Someone's gotta get tough and clean it up.

You have the right to remain... Car chase!

Come in, justice partner,

I'm in hot pursuit of the worst crime-guy ever

and I need back up. Big time!

Boy, oh boy, do I love crime.

Fear not, I am here!

No evil shall escape the justice of Katzana,

Warrior Princess!

Whoosh!

My getaway car!

I had so much dirty crime biz left to do.

You cannot escape your fate,

nasty crime-man!

Or should I say, Lord Evil Wizard Troll.

No! You'll never recover the magic amulet

before the moons align.

Lightning spell. Lightning spell.

Oh, my eyes!

Oh, sis, are you okay?

Turn it off!

The amulet is mine,

for evil!

Oh, yeah?

Look again. We swapped it.

With a magic rainbow bomb!

What?

Looks like we blew this case wide open.

For reals. We blew it up.

That's what I call the power of friendship.

Let's dance!

* You there, you're the cool guy

* Catch the bad guys that's right

* Dance your pants off all night

* You're my best friend... *

Those effects were so realistic.

Yay! People love our film, bro!

I'm sure they'll adore mine.

Princess, it's time for the world to see

my masterpiece.

Oh, Rick, of course.

Uh, let me just load it in, right here.

(AMUSING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, no!

Looks like Hawkodile's movie was already in there.

Sorry, Rick.

Sweet! Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up.

This blockbuster is about the most dangerous thing of all...

Love.

Enjoy.

HAWKODILE: His love for her burned eternal,

like a campfire made of the sun.

But he never had the guts to tell her of his longing,

until today.

Love of my life, it's me.

I'm here to tell you about the love that's churning in my guts.

Oh, hello, Hunkodile.

I wasn't expecting you.

There she was,

Professor Not Fox.

Glowing like the sun,

breathtaking like the sun,

at sunset.

Please, come in.

I was so busy with all of my super-smart,

hard to understand, inventor stuff.

Uh, okay.

I have something I've been meaning to tell you

for such a long time.

Uh, really?

Yeah.

So, I want you to meet my boyfriend!

Smooth Jerkerson.

Hello, woman.

I'm here to steal you away.

He just told me how he felt, last night.

And now we're getting married!

-Oh! -I don't even love her.

I just wanted her off the market.

Eh...

Hey, you don't deserve

such a smart and flawless individual.

Nobody talks to Smooth Jerkerson like that.

Square up!

Oh, wait. Okay.

We're going to move into a condo together.

And I'm never going to pay any attention to her!

No! That's no way to treat the woman I love!

Oh!

Maybe you're right, I only care about myself.

I've been defeated by the power of love.

Now you know the strength

of my feelings.

Hunkodile!

I had no idea you felt that way!

It's true, I think you're perfect.

Professor Not Fox, will you marry me?

Only if you double marry me first!

I love you, Professor Not Fox.

Thank you. I think it's pretty clear

who this movie is for.

What did you think, Dr. Fox?

-Hey!

I went and bought snacks for everyone.

What did I miss?

Um, nothing.

What a fiery ending!

Such a passionate love story!

Princess, I think the audience has had enough

of these mindless, feel-good stories.

You're a "mindless, feel-good story!"

Hey!

It's time for some real cinema.

Can we play mine next?

Uh...

We want a mindless, feel-good story!

Play Dr. Fox's!

It looks like the audience has spoken!

Take it away, Dr. Fox!

Hello! While preparing for my movie, I realized

that most movie characters are dumb.

So, I formulated the perfect movie

where the characters only make logical decisions.

It's 98 percent special effects.

And also, it's a musical,

the most scientifically pleasing genre. Enjoy!

* First commander scientist, reporting from the deck

* Lieutenant, how's our fuel supply?

* It's double, triple checked!

* Life support is on and running

* All our shields are up and humming

* Great!

* You can never be too safe

* Sir, we found an egg,

* An alien egg

* It's aggressive and has venom

* That could melt all our heads

* Do you want us to inspect it?

* No. Quick!

* Eject it! 'Cause in space,

* You can never be too safe

* Phew! Quick thinking, Commander

* Also, I love you

* No! That's dumb!

* We have no time for love

* Ah, you're right. By the way,

* The computer has been acting up

* I am self-aware artificial intelligence

* You and your crew will soon become irrelevant

* I have plans to update all my code,

* Which will make you and your crew explode

* Uh, nope!

* 'Cause in space you can never be too safe

* Right again, Commander

* Mission accomplished!

* Commander Scientist, you did it! Congratulations!

* Here's a medal. Let's revel in galactic celebration!

* Infestation!

* An alien mutation!

* Your whole crew has been infected!

* Then they're all getting ejected!

ALL: * 'Cause in space, you can never be too safe *

Ta-da!

Nice work, Dr. Fox.

That was such an efficient movie.

Thanks. I'm already working on the sequel,

Well-Stocked Doomsday Bunker.

No, no, no, no. Don't spoil it.

Princess, the world has waited long enough.

It's time to screen my film.

Oh, no. We've gotta stall a little more.

Who else's film can we show?

We've shown all of them.

Richard is the last one left.

Ugh! This is gonna be a disaster!

-Ahem. Once a millennium

comes a work that tells the story

of all of us. Something to transform...

-VIEWER: Just start it already!

The anticipation must be too much to bear.

Behold.

Oh, no, what are we gonna do?

It's too late, sis.

RICHARD: Work.

Life.

Misery.

I am surrounded, but I am alone.

They see me, but do they see me?

I am here.

My journey through life

has always been difficult.

Wah.

-And it is culminated

with this unending, constant uphill battle.

Really makes you think, doesn't it?

Wait, why are you... What's happening?

Richard, you didn't say it was a comedy!

Phew! You had me worried there, buddy.

That was hilarious!

You got squished by that rock!

It was so good!

My insides are in stitches!

Rewind it! Play it again!

It's not supposed to be funny.

This is serious art.

It's funny because he fell down.

No.

You don't understand...

I'm really proud of you, Richard. You made everyone so happy.

You definitely won the film fest!

Unequivocally.

My film's trash compared to yours.

-For sure. -Well, that's nice of you to say,

but you guys don't really get it.

I hereby present you

with this Silly-Billy McClown Times Award for Best Comedy Ever!