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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,343 --> 00:00:03,996 Dave, slow down. 2 00:00:04,021 --> 00:00:05,041 I'm just excited. 3 00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:08,334 I know, but you're running like you're about to miss a flight. 4 00:00:08,359 --> 00:00:11,628 Ooh, I have never missed a flight and I never will. 5 00:00:13,831 --> 00:00:15,949 You are weirdly arrogant about that. 6 00:00:20,304 --> 00:00:21,704 Hey, Calvin. 7 00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:24,740 Hey, Dave. Gemma. 8 00:00:25,113 --> 00:00:27,761 We just wanted to swing by and drop off one of these. 9 00:00:27,871 --> 00:00:29,292 What's this? 10 00:00:29,317 --> 00:00:31,434 It's an invitation to our housewarming party. 11 00:00:31,459 --> 00:00:32,968 Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. 12 00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:34,562 I can see, it says it right here. 13 00:00:34,587 --> 00:00:36,195 "It's gonna be awesome." 14 00:00:36,674 --> 00:00:39,962 Yeah, well, uh, it's in all caps so you know it's true. 15 00:00:40,477 --> 00:00:41,887 We thought a party would be a great way 16 00:00:41,912 --> 00:00:43,278 to get to know some of our new neighbors. 17 00:00:43,303 --> 00:00:44,709 Yeah, become a part of the community, 18 00:00:44,734 --> 00:00:46,468 but in an awesome way. 19 00:00:47,312 --> 00:00:48,674 Yeah, that's great. 20 00:00:48,699 --> 00:00:50,191 Too bad I can't make it. 21 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,695 Well, you haven't even looked at when it is. 22 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,031 Eh. Yep, I can't make it. 23 00:00:56,705 --> 00:00:58,068 Why not? 24 00:00:58,093 --> 00:01:00,782 Well, you know, the first Saturday of every month 25 00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,606 is, uh, dart night down at Ernie's Hot Spot. 26 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,330 Can't you just skip it this one time? 27 00:01:05,355 --> 00:01:06,265 Yeah. It's gonna be a great party. 28 00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:08,566 Gemma, tell him what they used to call me back in Michigan. 29 00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:11,188 - The Party King of Kalamazoo. - The... 30 00:01:11,213 --> 00:01:14,720 Okay. I didn't know I was in the presence of royalty. 31 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,112 Will you tell Tina and the boys? 32 00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:18,354 Sure. 33 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,073 Hey, uh, Calvin. 34 00:01:20,385 --> 00:01:23,165 Don't go down to the bar and throw darts. 35 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:26,940 Come to the party and... and throw down. 36 00:01:29,293 --> 00:01:31,347 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 37 00:01:31,372 --> 00:01:32,317 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 38 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:36,152 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 39 00:01:36,177 --> 00:01:38,023 Do I have to go to a sleepover? 40 00:01:38,048 --> 00:01:39,548 I want to stay for the party. 41 00:01:39,617 --> 00:01:41,211 Oh, baby, you wouldn't like it. 42 00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:43,086 It's just gonna be a bunch of boring grown-ups 43 00:01:43,111 --> 00:01:45,392 talking about boring grown-up stuff. 44 00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:47,717 A little help with the beer pong table? 45 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:51,155 Why are you bringing that in here? 46 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,724 Well, it's a party, it's supposed to be fun. 47 00:01:52,749 --> 00:01:54,735 I know, but it's a housewarming, 48 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,156 not some rager that gets you kicked off campus. 49 00:01:57,181 --> 00:01:58,090 Okay. 50 00:01:58,474 --> 00:01:59,790 That was not my fault. 51 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,476 They told me those goats were trained. 52 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,925 Sweetie, relax. 53 00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:05,927 This is just gonna be a tasteful evening 54 00:02:05,952 --> 00:02:07,417 of getting to know our new neighbors. 55 00:02:07,442 --> 00:02:10,316 Ugh. But that's boring grown-up stuff. 56 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:13,179 You're right, Mom. I'll skip this one. 57 00:02:13,757 --> 00:02:15,707 Why are you changing the plan all of a sudden? 58 00:02:15,732 --> 00:02:17,825 - Is this because of Calvin? - Calvin? 59 00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:19,852 I didn't say anything about Calvin. You said Calvin. 60 00:02:19,877 --> 00:02:21,966 If anyone's obsessed with Calvin, it's you. 61 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,578 He told us he already has plans. 62 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,724 I know. 63 00:02:26,749 --> 00:02:28,420 To play darts. 64 00:02:28,445 --> 00:02:31,648 It's like he thinks our party's gonna be lame. 65 00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:35,416 Why would he think that, Party King of Kalamazoo? 66 00:02:37,839 --> 00:02:40,218 I don't get it. Every time I try to be his friend 67 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,191 he throws it back in my face. 68 00:02:42,216 --> 00:02:43,682 You know, we're next-door neighbors. 69 00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:45,360 We are supposed to get along. 70 00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,792 Well, instead of throwing this party for the neighbors 71 00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:50,407 who don't want to come, maybe you should be throwing it 72 00:02:50,432 --> 00:02:52,474 for the neighbors who do. 73 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,713 I am. 74 00:02:54,935 --> 00:02:57,354 I just hope they tell Calvin about it. 75 00:03:00,317 --> 00:03:03,752 Oh, man, I can't believe you're really not coming to this party. 76 00:03:03,777 --> 00:03:05,263 And I can't believe that you want me to miss 77 00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:07,119 dart night at Ernie's. 78 00:03:07,144 --> 00:03:08,513 It's a beautiful tradition. 79 00:03:08,538 --> 00:03:11,452 The only reason you like going is to hustle people at darts. 80 00:03:11,477 --> 00:03:13,098 It's a beautiful tradition. 81 00:03:14,869 --> 00:03:16,231 Well, I'm looking forward to the party. 82 00:03:16,256 --> 00:03:18,056 Ooh. I bet they're gonna have a signature cocktail 83 00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:21,316 with a clever name like, like, "Gemma and Juice." 84 00:03:21,341 --> 00:03:23,372 Or, or-or, 85 00:03:23,397 --> 00:03:26,901 - uh, "Fuzzy Davel." Yeah? - (LAUGHS) 86 00:03:27,442 --> 00:03:29,856 Ah, baby, why don't you make an exception this one time? 87 00:03:29,881 --> 00:03:31,960 Hey, look, I'll two-step with you. 88 00:03:31,985 --> 00:03:33,885 To what? Taylor Swift? 89 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,756 So that's what it is. 90 00:03:37,781 --> 00:03:38,581 You don't want to go 'cause this is gonna 91 00:03:38,606 --> 00:03:40,286 be a white people party. 92 00:03:40,311 --> 00:03:41,692 No, I don't want to go 93 00:03:41,717 --> 00:03:43,640 because I don't want Dave using me 94 00:03:43,665 --> 00:03:45,738 like he's using all of y'all to legitimize 95 00:03:45,763 --> 00:03:47,778 his lame-ass party. 96 00:03:48,825 --> 00:03:50,692 Come on, Pop. He's not using us. 97 00:03:50,717 --> 00:03:51,771 Y'all don't get it. 98 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,849 See, the Johnsons are like the pilgrims. 99 00:03:53,874 --> 00:03:57,122 - Uh, uh, no, hang on. - (ALL GROANING) 100 00:03:57,961 --> 00:04:02,219 Look, they need the natives, i.e. us, 101 00:04:02,839 --> 00:04:04,739 to navigate through the cold winter, 102 00:04:04,764 --> 00:04:07,548 i.e. their corny-ass party. 103 00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:10,575 They think that they can 104 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,329 come onto our land, plant their flag 105 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,762 and then claim this neighborhood as their own. 106 00:04:15,786 --> 00:04:17,285 (LAUGHS) Look at you. 107 00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:19,682 You a perm away from being Al Sharpton. 108 00:04:20,943 --> 00:04:22,975 Come on, boys. 109 00:04:25,239 --> 00:04:27,248 Hey, look, you two. Unlike your father, 110 00:04:27,273 --> 00:04:29,026 we're here to have a good time, 111 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,996 support our new neighbors and show them 112 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,927 what this community is about, okay? 113 00:04:32,952 --> 00:04:35,807 Perfect timing, you guys. We're just getting started. 114 00:04:35,832 --> 00:04:38,667 All right. (CHUCKLES) 115 00:04:38,956 --> 00:04:41,847 ♪ All right now ♪ 116 00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:45,478 ♪ Baby, it's all right now... ♪ 117 00:04:45,503 --> 00:04:46,958 Ten minutes, and we out of here. 118 00:04:46,983 --> 00:04:48,941 Yeah. 119 00:04:49,236 --> 00:04:52,668 ♪ Baby, it's all right now... ♪ 120 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:55,754 So then, I had a cortisone shot 121 00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:57,310 in my left hip. 122 00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:01,408 And that didn't do nothing but make me mad. 123 00:05:02,497 --> 00:05:05,945 Well, that was a long answer for "What time did you get here?" 124 00:05:07,222 --> 00:05:09,055 Hey, here's your drink, Ma. 125 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,884 Ugh, please let this be strong. 126 00:05:10,909 --> 00:05:12,075 (CHUCKLES) 127 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,053 It's nice to see you, Miss Kim. 128 00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:16,587 You too, Malcolm. 129 00:05:16,612 --> 00:05:18,252 Mm-mm! 130 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:22,126 Haven't you grown all big and handsome? 131 00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:25,278 Yeah, I'm gonna some more of this. 132 00:05:25,303 --> 00:05:28,064 (LAUGHS) Mom, do not leave me. 133 00:05:28,089 --> 00:05:30,081 Well, you said you wanted to meet a girl. 134 00:05:32,151 --> 00:05:33,837 Yeah, but not a Golden Girl. 135 00:05:35,679 --> 00:05:37,648 Oh, I love these cocktails, Gemma. 136 00:05:37,673 --> 00:05:39,417 Your name is Johnson, 137 00:05:39,442 --> 00:05:40,923 - Johnsangria. - (LAUGHS) 138 00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:42,903 It was there the whole time. 139 00:05:43,512 --> 00:05:45,872 It's basically white wine, pomegranate juice 140 00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:46,817 and fresh fruit. 141 00:05:46,842 --> 00:05:48,666 Ah, and in a mason jar. 142 00:05:48,691 --> 00:05:51,190 Ah, it's like a real-life Pinterest post. 143 00:05:51,215 --> 00:05:53,307 (LAUGHS): Yes. 144 00:05:53,332 --> 00:05:55,941 Uh, hey, sweetie, can I grab you for just a second? 145 00:05:55,966 --> 00:05:57,817 Oh, go ahead, I'll just have some of these, uh, 146 00:05:57,842 --> 00:06:00,006 cut-up veggies you've labeled "crudité." 147 00:06:00,031 --> 00:06:02,137 (LAUGHS) 148 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,013 Uh, hey, Gemma? 149 00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:06,441 This party's a disaster. 150 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,303 W-Why isn't anyone here? 151 00:06:08,328 --> 00:06:10,911 Sweetie, relax. It's early still. 152 00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:13,723 And Tina told me maybe some people are on CP time. 153 00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,126 What's that? 154 00:06:17,576 --> 00:06:20,732 I don't know. I think it means cool people time. 155 00:06:24,039 --> 00:06:27,752 Well, how do we let all the cool people know 156 00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:29,660 that the party's ready to get started? 157 00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:32,417 I got it. 158 00:06:32,442 --> 00:06:35,755 Oh, my... I'm gonna go put a balloon outside. 159 00:06:39,342 --> 00:06:40,908 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 160 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:43,271 Cool balloons, Dave. 161 00:06:44,968 --> 00:06:46,868 (ENGINE STARTS) 162 00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,468 (LAUGHS) 163 00:06:50,457 --> 00:06:54,464 Yeah, well, you'll be sorry when all the cool people show up! 164 00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:03,872 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 165 00:07:04,461 --> 00:07:07,096 Just so muscular. 166 00:07:07,665 --> 00:07:09,022 Tell me, Malcolm, 167 00:07:09,047 --> 00:07:11,276 what are you doing for a job these days? 168 00:07:11,301 --> 00:07:13,607 Actually, I don't have one, Miss Kim. 169 00:07:13,632 --> 00:07:16,592 Well, you can come to my house. I'll put you to work. 170 00:07:22,177 --> 00:07:24,339 - Hey, uh, uh, Tina? - Hmm? 171 00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:26,758 I need your help. This party is dying. 172 00:07:26,783 --> 00:07:29,342 No. Miss Kim is dying, this party is dead. 173 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:33,594 Well, what can I do to get this thing going? 174 00:07:34,218 --> 00:07:36,741 Dave, you, you trying to get turnt? 175 00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:40,292 Based on context, yes, I think so. 176 00:07:41,051 --> 00:07:43,198 Okay. All right, Gemma, Marty, Malcolm, 177 00:07:43,223 --> 00:07:44,330 get over here. We're about to 178 00:07:44,355 --> 00:07:45,690 turn this party up. 179 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,661 Uh, but not too much. 180 00:07:47,686 --> 00:07:49,683 I don't want Miss Kim to feel uncomfortable. 181 00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:52,011 Yeah, I don't think that's possible. 182 00:07:54,171 --> 00:07:56,046 Okay, so how turnt are we talking? 183 00:07:56,071 --> 00:07:58,023 Well, totally turnt, all the way turnt. 184 00:07:58,048 --> 00:07:59,368 Turnt over. 185 00:08:00,227 --> 00:08:01,318 Okay, okay. 186 00:08:01,343 --> 00:08:03,388 Well, I'm gonna order some Roscoe's. 187 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:04,991 Marty, you get on the music, 188 00:08:05,016 --> 00:08:06,629 Malcolm, you start texting folks. 189 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,231 Oh, good, get some females in here 190 00:08:08,256 --> 00:08:10,099 who didn't used to babysit me. 191 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,358 All right, but, uh, for the record, 192 00:08:14,383 --> 00:08:16,333 I was having a lovely time. 193 00:08:17,738 --> 00:08:18,904 Ernie. Oh! 194 00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:20,669 Give me another round for the boys, man. 195 00:08:20,694 --> 00:08:22,129 Uh-oh. 196 00:08:22,154 --> 00:08:24,782 If you buying, that means you lost to them younguns. 197 00:08:24,807 --> 00:08:27,196 Yeah, oh, Teddy got me on the last throw. 198 00:08:27,221 --> 00:08:29,137 Uh-huh. So why are you smiling, then? 199 00:08:29,162 --> 00:08:30,957 Because the next game is for money, 200 00:08:30,982 --> 00:08:32,348 and I'm gonna start throwing with my good hand. 201 00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:34,724 (LAUGHS) All right, then. 202 00:08:34,749 --> 00:08:36,123 There you go. 203 00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,219 Uh, how you been, Calvin? 204 00:08:38,244 --> 00:08:40,792 Eh, I can't complain. You know, life is good. 205 00:08:40,817 --> 00:08:42,495 Good enough to finally leave me a tip? 206 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,907 (chuckles) Yeah. Here's a tip: 207 00:08:44,932 --> 00:08:46,526 you're too old for tracksuits. 208 00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:48,770 (LAUGHS) Your wife like it. 209 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,695 - Hey, now... Oh, no, you... - (LAUGHS) 210 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,499 No, you two-faced like that. 211 00:08:52,524 --> 00:08:54,772 Teddy, hold on. Teddy, where you going? 212 00:08:54,797 --> 00:08:56,149 - (PHONES CHIMING, VIBRATING) - What's going on? 213 00:08:56,174 --> 00:08:57,782 - What's happening? - Oh. Looks like 214 00:08:57,807 --> 00:08:59,992 there's a party in the neighborhood 215 00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:05,990 "Free drinks, free food and dope beats by DJ Party Marty." 216 00:09:06,015 --> 00:09:07,670 Where are you going, Ernie? 217 00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:09,325 (EXHALES) This party sounds fly. 218 00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:12,276 I'm closing up and changing into my velour tracksuit. 219 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,965 But you still got customers. 220 00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:15,953 Good point. 221 00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:17,545 Everybody, out! 222 00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:19,972 Uh, no, no, no. Everybody, stay! 223 00:09:19,997 --> 00:09:21,757 There's a party down on Evergreen, 224 00:09:21,782 --> 00:09:24,377 and the booze there is free. 225 00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:27,326 It's free here, too. Next round's on me. 226 00:09:27,703 --> 00:09:31,904 In fact, keep that open all night. 227 00:09:32,209 --> 00:09:35,197 Hey, would you let me know when that get around $50? 228 00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:37,826 TINA: Show me what you got. 229 00:09:37,851 --> 00:09:39,679 Show me... you ain't gonna do nothing. 230 00:09:39,703 --> 00:09:41,753 - Not enough. - (LAUGHS) 231 00:09:41,779 --> 00:09:44,668 This is amazing. I can't believe how many people are here. 232 00:09:44,693 --> 00:09:46,022 Oh, I can. 233 00:09:46,047 --> 00:09:48,690 We're the Butlers. That's how we do. 234 00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:50,415 Boom! 235 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,027 Drink up, sucka. 236 00:09:55,237 --> 00:09:57,450 Come on, man. If you don't get your head in the game, 237 00:09:57,475 --> 00:10:00,751 Miss Kim is gonna start looking like that. Let's go! 238 00:10:00,776 --> 00:10:02,221 - (CLAPS HANDS) - Sweetie? 239 00:10:02,246 --> 00:10:04,432 I'm-I'm sorry, don't you mean Party King? 240 00:10:04,457 --> 00:10:05,424 Hit me, Marty! 241 00:10:05,449 --> 00:10:08,105 (AIR HORN SOUND EFFECT) 242 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:10,871 (LAUGHS SOFTLY) Don't you think this party's 243 00:10:10,896 --> 00:10:12,026 getting a little out of hand? 244 00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:14,005 I think you've proven your point to Calvin. 245 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,238 Oh, this isn't about Calvin. It's like you said. 246 00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:17,762 This is about meeting our neighbors. 247 00:10:17,787 --> 00:10:19,962 And I've already met some really great ones. 248 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:20,791 Who? 249 00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:23,304 Well, Craig, Dante, Lil' Hatchet. 250 00:10:23,802 --> 00:10:25,423 "Lil' Hatchet"? 251 00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:27,024 I know. 252 00:10:27,049 --> 00:10:31,351 The name is kind of scary, but trust me, she's really nice. 253 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,441 In the time you've been nursing that drink, 254 00:10:36,466 --> 00:10:38,673 I could've gotten five phone numbers. 255 00:10:38,698 --> 00:10:39,964 With your old ass, 256 00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:41,837 one of 'em better be Life Alert. 257 00:10:43,057 --> 00:10:44,913 You see what's happening here, right? 258 00:10:44,938 --> 00:10:47,192 Our community is being chipped away. 259 00:10:47,217 --> 00:10:48,057 Oh, boy. 260 00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:48,972 No, no, no, no. 261 00:10:48,997 --> 00:10:50,288 Now, come on now. 262 00:10:50,313 --> 00:10:52,034 Marvin's Barbecue is now 263 00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:53,152 a coffee shop. 264 00:10:53,481 --> 00:10:54,814 Norm's Hardware 265 00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:56,419 - is a juice bar. - All right. 266 00:10:56,444 --> 00:11:00,012 And Sondra's Beauty Parlor is a marijuana dispensary. 267 00:11:00,063 --> 00:11:01,675 She always sold weed. 268 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,250 It's just legal now. 269 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,009 That is true. 270 00:11:05,034 --> 00:11:06,369 (CHUCKLES) 271 00:11:06,613 --> 00:11:08,836 Well, no matter how much this neighborhood changes, 272 00:11:08,861 --> 00:11:09,863 my auto shop 273 00:11:09,888 --> 00:11:11,964 and this fine drinking establishment 274 00:11:11,989 --> 00:11:13,371 will always be here. 275 00:11:13,396 --> 00:11:14,513 - Yeah. - Yeah. 276 00:11:14,538 --> 00:11:16,183 - Yeah, yeah. - To you and me, man. 277 00:11:16,262 --> 00:11:18,230 The last of the Mohicans. 278 00:11:18,255 --> 00:11:20,956 (CHUCKLES) 279 00:11:23,685 --> 00:11:25,530 Why you not raising your beer? 280 00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:28,235 Look, Calvin, I ain't gonna lie to you. 281 00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:29,873 I've been getting a lot of calls 282 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,695 from people wanting to buy this place. 283 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:32,865 What? 284 00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:34,076 How much? 285 00:11:34,101 --> 00:11:35,945 Enough to retire to Méjico. 286 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:38,241 Which is Spanish for "I'm rich there!" 287 00:11:40,042 --> 00:11:41,701 Come on, man. 288 00:11:41,726 --> 00:11:44,059 Think about all the memories we had. 289 00:11:44,546 --> 00:11:45,700 You know, 290 00:11:45,725 --> 00:11:46,790 it was in that booth right there 291 00:11:46,815 --> 00:11:48,726 - that you met your wife. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 292 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:51,808 And then that booth right there where you proposed to her. 293 00:11:51,896 --> 00:11:53,162 And then that booth 294 00:11:53,187 --> 00:11:54,569 where she caught you cheating. 295 00:11:54,594 --> 00:11:56,007 Yeah. 296 00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,640 Those were good times. 297 00:11:57,901 --> 00:11:59,367 Exactly. 298 00:11:59,392 --> 00:12:01,187 That's why you can't sell this place. 299 00:12:01,212 --> 00:12:03,025 (SIGHS) What can I say? 300 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,616 I love the neighborhood. 301 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,267 Pero I love Cancún más. 302 00:12:07,956 --> 00:12:09,153 Fine. 303 00:12:09,178 --> 00:12:10,444 You want to go to the party? 304 00:12:10,469 --> 00:12:12,468 Go ahead. Be a sellout. 305 00:12:12,493 --> 00:12:15,112 Hey, hey, hold up, hold up! You forgot to pay your tab. 306 00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:16,374 No, I didn't. 307 00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:18,462 I'm about to report that card stolen. 308 00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:23,330 ♪ Go to work, that girl go to work, work ♪ 309 00:12:23,355 --> 00:12:26,081 ♪ Girl, go to work, that girl go to work, hey, hey... ♪ 310 00:12:26,106 --> 00:12:27,790 - Hey. - Hey. 311 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,019 We finally meet. 312 00:12:29,044 --> 00:12:30,377 - I've been trying totalk to you, - (CHUCKLES) 313 00:12:30,402 --> 00:12:32,168 but you've been busy with your girlfriend over there. 314 00:12:32,216 --> 00:12:34,144 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 315 00:12:40,307 --> 00:12:42,653 You know, she used to change my diaper. 316 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,319 Now she wants me to get in hers. 317 00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:45,563 (LAUGHS) 318 00:12:45,837 --> 00:12:47,036 I'm Lisa. 319 00:12:47,061 --> 00:12:48,456 Hey, Lisa. I'm Malcolm. 320 00:12:48,481 --> 00:12:50,166 Oh, so this is your party. 321 00:12:50,191 --> 00:12:51,487 Chris forwarded me the invite. 322 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,102 Your house is so nice. 323 00:12:53,142 --> 00:12:55,235 - You know, actually, I-I... - It's so cool to meet a guy 324 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:57,340 who doesn't live with his parents for once. 325 00:12:57,365 --> 00:12:59,132 (CHUCKLES) I know, right? 326 00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:00,437 (CHUCKLES) 327 00:13:00,462 --> 00:13:02,143 Hey, Malcolm, this is amazing. 328 00:13:02,168 --> 00:13:04,493 Someone turned my room into a VIP lounge. 329 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:05,893 I couldn't even get in. 330 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:06,941 (CHUCKLES) 331 00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:08,358 Does he live here, too? 332 00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:10,635 Yes. Every crew's got to have a white guy 333 00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,370 that they can do this to. 334 00:13:12,742 --> 00:13:14,428 Hey, yo, Dave! 335 00:13:18,636 --> 00:13:21,402 Listen up, party people! 336 00:13:21,674 --> 00:13:23,487 Big Mike's Tattoo Parlor is open for business 337 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:26,408 in the guest bathroom. He specializes in cover-ups 338 00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:28,074 for all of your failed relationships. 339 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,332 - (CHUCKLES) - (GIGGLING) 340 00:13:30,357 --> 00:13:32,140 Ooh, hey, can I say something? 341 00:13:32,165 --> 00:13:34,955 Uh, he-hey, everyone. 342 00:13:35,275 --> 00:13:38,902 I just want to thank you all for coming out tonight and... 343 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,293 w-welcoming us to the neighborhood. 344 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,393 (WHOOPS) Dave from the "D"! 345 00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:46,573 Now let's keep this party going. 346 00:13:46,598 --> 00:13:49,597 What time is it? CP time! 347 00:13:54,397 --> 00:13:57,087 (SPEAKING QUIETLY) 348 00:14:00,624 --> 00:14:02,373 No. 349 00:14:05,254 --> 00:14:07,036 I'm-I'm so sorry about that. 350 00:14:07,061 --> 00:14:10,464 Uh, I was led to believe that that meant something else. 351 00:14:14,171 --> 00:14:15,832 Hey, big man. 352 00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:17,510 Who are you? 353 00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:18,602 The valet. 354 00:14:18,627 --> 00:14:20,749 It's 20 bucks up front. 355 00:14:20,774 --> 00:14:22,056 How long you gonna be? 356 00:14:23,088 --> 00:14:24,823 The rest of my damn life. 357 00:14:24,848 --> 00:14:27,424 Man, get out of my driveway. 358 00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:29,758 Oh, hey! Calvin! 359 00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:33,245 Guess the balloons worked! 360 00:14:35,885 --> 00:14:39,153 ♪ ♪ 361 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,318 I'm just gonna take these from you. 362 00:14:47,482 --> 00:14:49,024 Oh, no, no, no. Please keep making out. 363 00:14:49,049 --> 00:14:50,731 You look very much in love. 364 00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:54,183 Ooh, yeah. Hey, hey! 365 00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:56,277 Hey, girl, what you in here doing cleaning up? 366 00:14:56,302 --> 00:14:57,492 This party ain't over. 367 00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:58,842 - No, it needs to be over now. - Mm. 368 00:14:58,867 --> 00:15:01,230 I just saw somebody wearing my wedding dress. 369 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:03,703 Well, you and Dave seem happy. 370 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,132 You ain't gonna need it anymore. 371 00:15:05,157 --> 00:15:06,909 (SIGHS) 372 00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:09,147 How do I shut this down? 373 00:15:09,172 --> 00:15:11,979 Do I hide the booze and tell everyone we ran out? 374 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:14,879 You know that burned-down house on the corner of 22nd? 375 00:15:14,904 --> 00:15:16,218 Yeah, they hid the booze, too. 376 00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:19,099 (SIGHS) What can I do? 377 00:15:19,124 --> 00:15:21,056 - Please, Tina, I'm desperate. - (SIGHS) 378 00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:24,449 Well, I do know one person that will shut this party down. 379 00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:25,433 Calvin? 380 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,636 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, I'd hate to do that to Dave. 381 00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:35,916 Oh, hey, Lil' Hatchet! 382 00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:42,365 - Do it. Do it now. - I'm doing it. 383 00:15:42,390 --> 00:15:44,044 I'm doing it. 384 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,152 ♪ ♪ 385 00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:47,616 All right! 386 00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:49,178 Party's over, people! 387 00:15:49,203 --> 00:15:51,561 If your last name not Butler or Johnson, 388 00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:53,186 you got to go home! 389 00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:55,898 ♪ Let me see you twerk... ♪ 390 00:15:55,923 --> 00:15:58,464 I'm always surprised on how many people live around here 391 00:15:58,489 --> 00:16:00,481 last name Butler or Johnson. 392 00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:02,334 Marty, turn it off. 393 00:16:02,359 --> 00:16:04,270 Everybody, come on, let's go! 394 00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:05,815 - Let's go! It's time to go now. - (MUSIC STOPS) 395 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,215 I'm not playing around here. 396 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,607 Joe, what are you doing here? 397 00:16:08,632 --> 00:16:10,706 You know you on probation. 398 00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:13,921 And, Frank, you a pastor. Give me that. 399 00:16:14,729 --> 00:16:16,789 And who watching your kids, Dana? 400 00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,502 Huh? You just out here to party, like... 401 00:16:18,527 --> 00:16:19,761 Oh, there they are right there. 402 00:16:19,786 --> 00:16:21,761 Hey. Hey, little man! 403 00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:24,397 Oh, my God, it's working. 404 00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:27,800 Now if only he could clear out the garage like this. 405 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,714 Can I walk you home? 406 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,637 I'd like that. 407 00:16:31,662 --> 00:16:33,161 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 408 00:16:33,266 --> 00:16:34,298 KIM: Hey. 409 00:16:34,323 --> 00:16:35,521 Where you going with my man? 410 00:16:35,546 --> 00:16:36,608 Yep. Better go. 411 00:16:36,831 --> 00:16:38,528 Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 412 00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:39,695 Where's everybody going? 413 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,462 I finally got into the VIP room. 414 00:16:42,273 --> 00:16:43,539 Party's over, Dave. 415 00:16:43,564 --> 00:16:44,680 I'm shutting you down. 416 00:16:44,705 --> 00:16:45,970 What? 417 00:16:46,175 --> 00:16:47,875 What do you mean you're shutting me down? 418 00:16:48,303 --> 00:16:51,422 Who are you to come into our home and shut down our party? 419 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:52,955 Ask your wife. 420 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:54,854 She begged me to do it. 421 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:56,981 What? Gemma, 422 00:16:57,006 --> 00:16:58,338 - how could you... - Because there's a cockfight 423 00:16:58,363 --> 00:17:00,142 going on in our backyard. 424 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,957 Oh. Oh, Tito and them here? 425 00:17:03,792 --> 00:17:05,609 Shoot, I'm doing you a favor. 426 00:17:05,634 --> 00:17:08,107 Okay, you know what, don't act like some kind of hero. 427 00:17:08,132 --> 00:17:09,933 You know you're enjoying this. The only reason you want 428 00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:12,425 this party to be over is because you don't like me. 429 00:17:12,512 --> 00:17:14,881 Who says you can't do things for two reasons? 430 00:17:15,496 --> 00:17:17,365 What is your problem, Calvin? 431 00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:19,714 Why don't you like me? Everyone else here does. 432 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,777 - (SCOFFS) Says you. - Okay, fine. 433 00:17:21,802 --> 00:17:24,181 You know what, let's vote. Show of hands, who here likes me? 434 00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:27,237 Oh... You just gave them free liquor and chicken. 435 00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:28,306 Of course they like you. 436 00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:29,918 Come on. Everybody, 437 00:17:29,943 --> 00:17:31,933 let's wrap this pilgrim party up. Let's go now. 438 00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:34,229 Okay, no, no, no. We're not, we're not wrapping anything up. 439 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,710 You and I are gonna settle this right now, man-to-man. 440 00:17:36,735 --> 00:17:38,956 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 441 00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:41,672 Oh. Okay, big man. 442 00:17:41,697 --> 00:17:43,131 What you got to say? 443 00:17:43,659 --> 00:17:45,394 Calvin, all I've done since I've moved in here 444 00:17:45,419 --> 00:17:47,109 was try to be a good neighbor. 445 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,745 I say hi, I invite you to things, 446 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,950 and all you do is reject me. 447 00:17:50,975 --> 00:17:52,474 How many times I got to tell you? 448 00:17:52,499 --> 00:17:54,861 I'm not doing an escape room with you. 449 00:17:56,604 --> 00:17:59,321 I'm just saying, you're missing out on a lot of fun. 450 00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:03,420 I don't want to be a part of your white folk nonsense. 451 00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:05,377 There it is. The truth comes out. 452 00:18:05,402 --> 00:18:06,898 We're the first white people to move here, 453 00:18:06,923 --> 00:18:08,347 and suddenly, we're the problem. 454 00:18:08,372 --> 00:18:10,121 You know what, man? I don't think so. 455 00:18:10,146 --> 00:18:12,044 Maybe the problem's you because you're a jerk. 456 00:18:12,069 --> 00:18:13,729 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 457 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,793 Really? Really? We oohing at "jerk" now? 458 00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,171 Come on, y'all, we more hood than that. 459 00:18:20,607 --> 00:18:22,173 And for your information, 460 00:18:22,198 --> 00:18:24,203 you're not the first white people to live here. 461 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:27,352 Back in the day, this whole neighborhood was white. 462 00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,764 But then my grandparents moved in, 463 00:18:29,789 --> 00:18:33,424 and all they heard was, "There goes the neighborhood." 464 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,124 And soon, 465 00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:37,255 all of the white people moved away, 466 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,855 because they didn't want to live next to black people. 467 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,804 Okay, but that's not me. 468 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,512 I want to live here. 469 00:18:43,537 --> 00:18:45,844 Sure, now you do. 470 00:18:46,222 --> 00:18:49,299 See, but when y'all left, the community suffered, 471 00:18:49,555 --> 00:18:52,399 and-and we, we worked hard to restore it. 472 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:53,976 And now, you want to come back 473 00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:55,726 into our neighborhood and reclaim it as your own. 474 00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:58,776 Okay, I am not-I am not trying to reclaim anything. 475 00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:02,593 And I'm sorry that your family had to go through that. 476 00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:07,089 It is wrong to make anyone feel unwelcome 477 00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:09,047 in their own neighborhood. 478 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,244 But isn't that kind of what you're doing to me? 479 00:19:13,145 --> 00:19:15,298 (AIR HORN SOUND EFFECT) 480 00:19:15,894 --> 00:19:17,214 Oops. Uh, that's my bad. 481 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,966 My finger slipped. (CHUCKLES) 482 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,672 All right, that's it. 483 00:19:20,697 --> 00:19:22,979 Everybody, out. 484 00:19:23,603 --> 00:19:26,221 Oh, is this where the party's at? 485 00:19:26,246 --> 00:19:27,502 I saw the balloons. 486 00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:30,646 Ooh, crudité. Mm. 487 00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:36,536 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 488 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,340 Oh, hey, Gemma, good news. 489 00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:42,660 I found your veil. 490 00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:48,553 What are you doing here? 491 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,046 Oh, nothing. 492 00:19:50,347 --> 00:19:52,852 Look, uh, just thought about what you said earlier, 493 00:19:52,877 --> 00:19:55,863 and, uh, brought you this. 494 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,726 Trash bags? 495 00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:05,041 I mean, big party, you know, big mess. 496 00:20:07,213 --> 00:20:09,644 It was kind of a big party, wasn't it? 497 00:20:10,762 --> 00:20:13,229 I mean, I wouldn't call you the Party King of Pasadena, 498 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,621 but it was a'ight. 499 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,626 Well, thank you. 500 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,652 You're welcome. 501 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:21,939 You hear what I said? 502 00:20:22,733 --> 00:20:24,257 I said you're welcome. 503 00:20:24,902 --> 00:20:26,435 Yeah, I heard you. 504 00:20:26,903 --> 00:20:28,336 I don't think you did. 505 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,716 You are welcome. 506 00:20:31,936 --> 00:20:34,408 O-kay. 507 00:20:38,092 --> 00:20:39,894 Ah, hell, I tried. (MUMBLES) 508 00:20:40,588 --> 00:20:42,745 Why do you keep saying "You're welcome..." 509 00:20:43,870 --> 00:20:45,149 I get it. 510 00:20:45,182 --> 00:20:48,253 I'm welcome, like, like, in the neighborhood. 511 00:20:48,278 --> 00:20:50,378 Too late! I changed my mind. 36393

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