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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Problem_Child_(1990)_Junior_le_terrible ,WEB_MKV_H264(Universal,Eng,Sub) 1280x716 2 00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:58,510 Nice night to be born, huh? 3 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:03,730 Apparently my birth was not considered a blessed event. 4 00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:08,070 That's me in the basket and that's my mother carrying me. 5 00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:15,200 And that's my mother...running away. 6 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:19,690 Well, this can still work out. Look at this place! 7 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,990 Oh! 8 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,410 Madam! 9 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,370 Aw... aw... aw... 10 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:41,160 Who on earth would want to abandon such a wonderful little baby boy? 11 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,240 On the day I was born 12 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,690 The nurses all gathered round 13 00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:01,900 They gazed in wild wonder At the joy they had found... 14 00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:04,160 But I am not dreaming. 15 00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:10,450 One thing I know, and that is that there's no such thing in the world as a bad boy. 16 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,920 What does he know? 17 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,750 Bad to the bone Bad to the bone 18 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:22,170 B- b-b-b bad B- b-b-b bad 19 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,760 B- b-b-b bad... 20 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:27,010 What a strange-looking dogl 21 00:02:30,890 --> 00:02:33,100 I'll bet he's hungry. 22 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:37,650 This looks good. 23 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:44,450 B- b-b-b bad B- b-b-b bad... 24 00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:53,080 Diver Dan, Diver Dan! Surface, surface! 25 00:02:57,380 --> 00:03:02,300 I wanna be yours, pretty baby Yours and yours alone 26 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:06,590 I'm here to tell ya, honey I'm bad to the bone... 27 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:11,470 These are my favourite toys. Who am I kidding? They're my only toys. 28 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,930 That's my dad. 29 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:18,060 So you want to play rough, huh? 30 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:30,580 I was just kiddingl Oh, nol Not the nuns, not the nunsl 31 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,450 Bad to the bone B- b- b- b bad 32 00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:37,710 Bad to the bone 33 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,960 Geel I wonder if penguins can flyl 34 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,260 Help! 35 00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:49,800 Help! 36 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:54,470 You see? No one really ever accepted me. 37 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,600 Who'd be that caring? 38 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,860 Who'd be that loving? Who'd be that dumb? 39 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:04,280 Listen to this. It says here that Henry is a strong name. 40 00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,900 He's loyal and loving. 41 00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:11,580 Henry? Hank. Henri. Sounds like a loser. 42 00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:16,160 No, come on, think about it. Henry, Hank. Hank Aaron, that's a winner. 43 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:19,500 "How was school today, Hank?" "Great, Dad!" 44 00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:23,420 - Let's put a star down next to Henry. - No, I don't like it. 45 00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:28,090 What about Donald? It says Donald is wealthy and powerful. 46 00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:30,220 That's the kind of kid I want. 47 00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:33,070 I'll be happy no matter how he turns out. 48 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:36,890 - He'll be our child. - It won't hurt if he's chairman of the board. 49 00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,550 So, when is your child due? 50 00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:43,900 I'm not really pregnant yet. We're just planning ahead. 51 00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:46,150 A little wishful thinking never hurt anyone. 52 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,940 Here at the clinic we pride ourselves on a 99%% success rate. 53 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,990 - Little Henry Healy. - Donald. 54 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,950 Unfortunately, there is that other 1%%. 55 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,790 And you're it. I'm sorry, but the test came back positive. 56 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,420 - Positive, that's good. - No, positive is bad. 57 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:06,840 No, positive is good, negative is bad. 58 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:11,010 No, negative is good. You see, you are positively infertile. 59 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,600 You mean we've been doing it every night for nothing? 60 00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:18,020 Let me explain. 61 00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:20,230 This is your uterus. 62 00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:24,230 That purple thing is your cervix. 63 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,440 These green things are your fallopian tubes and this... 64 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,190 That's not supposed to happen. Toss me that. 65 00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:36,490 This yellow thing is your ovary. Fits right in there like that. 66 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:39,450 Well, you know what? It doesn't matter. 67 00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:44,250 You don't even have a yellow thing and your green thing is brown. 68 00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:49,260 - Doctor, are you sure there's no hope? - None whatsoever. 69 00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:52,930 But there are alternatives to having your own child. 70 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:57,630 I tried to like it at the orphanage 71 00:05:57,810 --> 00:06:01,440 but then I became interested in photography. 72 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,360 After that, things kind of went downhill. 73 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:18,080 Eat all of your stew, children. 74 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:22,960 A growing body needs nutrition. And discipline. 75 00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:26,880 If it's so nutritious, how come I don't see you eating it? 76 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:30,340 - Aw, Junior! - Junior! 77 00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:41,560 I was never really sure which one I got, nutrition or discipline. 78 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:57,160 - What do they put in this stuff? - Junior, please don't get us in trouble again. 79 00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:07,290 Who are they kidding? 80 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,260 Junior! 81 00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,310 What happened to your lunch? 82 00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:23,640 It was so delicious I just gobbled it all up! 83 00:07:30,690 --> 00:07:36,150 I can't believe it. For once, you behaved yourself. Thank you, Lord! 84 00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:49,420 Hey, lady, hands off the merchandise! I gotta hear out of that thing! 85 00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:51,960 Ow...! 86 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,300 All right, mister, you know the routine. Start mopping. 87 00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,510 Sister, I'm all packed to go. 88 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:06,140 There's my favourite little boy. I'm going to miss you so much. 89 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:08,520 Miss him? Where's he going? 90 00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:14,440 Haven't you heard? I'm getting adopted. I got a new mommy and daddy and they're so nice. 91 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,150 - Really? - Yes. 92 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:21,110 Good little boys get good homes. 93 00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:25,070 Bad little boys get something else. 94 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:31,710 Big deal. If you have to be a creep like Freddy, I don't want a family. 95 00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:42,100 ...a man described as evil incarnate, a man called "the fiend of the century". 96 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,220 Where are my cartoons? 97 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,560 They did me wrongl They had it comingl 98 00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:49,100 - All 34? - You bet they didl 99 00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:53,190 This guy's pretty popular. He's on every channel. 100 00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:59,030 Since he escaped, residents of the bordering states have been afraid to leave their home. 101 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,620 Beck, known infamously as the Bow Tie Killer, was recaptured this afternoon 102 00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:07,080 and is now on his way back to federal prison. 103 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:10,250 I'm not a bad guyl I'm just misunderstoodl 104 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,500 Nobody cares about me but mel 105 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:15,000 What a good-looking guy. 106 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:20,840 Because of this attempted prison break, Beck would have to serve additional time. 107 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:27,270 When he is returned to the federal prison, Beck will be placed under... 108 00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,910 Do you see him? 109 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,240 There's our boy! 110 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,710 Oh, honey! 111 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,170 You guys, I'm so excited! 112 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,230 Have a good day, honey. 113 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,730 Why don't you take a look at this adoption literature? We can talk about it tonight. 114 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:20,690 Why don't you? I don't wear second-hand clothes and I won't have a second-hand kid. 115 00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:23,780 - Adoption is out! - OK, all right. 116 00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:26,770 Fine. 117 00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:32,370 Welcome to Big Ben's, the sporting goods store that has everything. 118 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:36,880 Sporting goods made by Americans for Americans. 119 00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:40,670 My fellow Americans, don't forget to vote for Big Ben for Mayorl 120 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,710 - Mister, do you work here? - I sure do. How can I help you? 121 00:10:44,890 --> 00:10:47,720 I'm looking for a canteen with a compass on it. 122 00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:50,520 I saw your commercial and they said you have everything. 123 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:55,150 You bet we do. This is Big Ben's. We got canteens 365 days a year. 124 00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:58,690 - Which one of these can I fix you up with? - This blue one. 125 00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:03,320 - Hey, sport, where did you run off to? - This man was helping me find my canteen. 126 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:08,910 I hope Hank wasn't bothering you. He's excited about this camping trip we're going on. 127 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:14,540 - You two must have a lot of fun together. - These little rascals make life worth living. 128 00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:17,420 What the heck else are we here for, partner? 129 00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:19,090 Let's go! 130 00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,930 - Did you get what you wanted? - Yeah. 131 00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:25,010 - Thanks a lot, buddy. - My pleasure. 132 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:27,640 - Little Benl - What? 133 00:11:27,810 --> 00:11:31,590 Get your little butt in here. I got a big surprise for you. 134 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:36,650 That's right, Big Ben's is 100 per cent American. 135 00:11:38,070 --> 00:11:40,150 I'm selling the store to the Japs. 136 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,820 I... I... 137 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:46,820 - What? Thought I was gonna leave it to you? - Yes. 138 00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:50,860 Well, I'm not. I'm selling to the Hirohito Corporation. 139 00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:54,820 I still get the land, right, Dad? 140 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,410 No, you won't. No, no. 141 00:11:57,590 --> 00:12:00,500 I'm selling that too. Everything from here to the river. 142 00:12:00,670 --> 00:12:04,170 What? Dad! I can't believe this. 143 00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:09,500 I slaved for you for over ten years without even a raise or a promotion. 144 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,760 Is there a lesson to be learned? 145 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:14,560 - A lesson? - Don't trust anyone. 146 00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:18,480 - Not even your own father? - Especially your own father. 147 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,650 You're too nice. 148 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:26,570 I expected a little back-stabbing from you, some ruthless scrambling to get to the top, 149 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:30,490 but you stubbornly refuse to follow my example. 150 00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:38,870 Today's my birthday. Look what they gave me. 151 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,420 Junior! 152 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:44,880 Junior! What is taking you so long? 153 00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:49,380 - We start serving dinner in 20 minutes. - I only got two hands. 154 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:54,220 I want these pots so shiny I can see my face in them! 155 00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:56,430 This one kind of looks like you. 156 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,350 All right, now you're gonna pay for it. 157 00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:08,360 - Junior! - Yikes! A penguin in a pot! 158 00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,780 Help! 159 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,250 I wonder if they want me to do the floorl 160 00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:31,590 Junior! 161 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,350 OK, kids, huddle up. Now, listen, we got three more innings. 162 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,560 Remember, if we win we all get ice cream. 163 00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:44,230 Yeah! 164 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,320 And if we lose... What the hay, we'll have ice cream anyway. 165 00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:51,910 Go take the field. I'm proud of you! Look mean out there. 166 00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:55,660 Little Ben. Can I talk to you for a second? 167 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:59,330 I don't care how many runs you score. We're not gonna forfeit. 168 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:03,450 No! I don't care about this game. We got this thing won already! 169 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:07,050 I just came over to share my happiness with you, Little Ben. 170 00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:10,220 Harriet had a sonogram. Take a look. 171 00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:12,840 - What is that? - It's a boy! 172 00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:14,510 Congratulations. 173 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:17,850 - I got one of these for you. Open up. - I don't smoke. 174 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,640 Come on, open up. Open up! 175 00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:27,270 It's a home run for the Chieftainsl 176 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,940 What do you know? Another home run. 177 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:33,280 Way to go, Gary! 178 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:41,710 Will you all please quiet down? Be quiet! 179 00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:47,130 Ladies, please, can you please quiet down? 180 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:53,380 Can you quiet down? Can you act like nuns?! 181 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:55,010 OK. 182 00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:57,890 Now, there's absolutely no proof 183 00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:01,560 that Junior was in any way connected with today's tragedy. 184 00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,770 - Who needs proof? He's evil! - Look what he did in art class! Skeletons! 185 00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:08,400 - Headless corpses. - Monsters devouring human flesh. 186 00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:10,190 All right, look! 187 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:14,950 I don't claim to be some kind of brilliant psychologist. I'm not. 188 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:19,660 All I'm saying is maybe all the child needs is to be loved. 189 00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:22,400 Let's cut the crap, Mr Peabody! 190 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:26,670 Either Junior goes or you find yourself some new nuns. 191 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:31,910 No, no, please, don't hyperventilate. Just take a deep breath and relax. 192 00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:36,890 The only way we can straighten this out is by hearing what Junior has to say. 193 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:49,060 I'm sorry, sisters. 194 00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:53,070 Please, please don't make me lift those heavy stones 195 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,110 and please don't make me scrub those dirty toilets. 196 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,530 I just want to be a good boy. I promise! 197 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,870 You see that? He said he's sorry. 198 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:08,460 Please, give me another chance. I just want to learn my lessons and do my studies. 199 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:11,170 So I can be smart and become a priest! 200 00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:14,090 There! You see that? A priest! 201 00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,590 A priest! It's like a nun with a jacket. 202 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,430 It's a boy nun! He wants to be a boy nun. 203 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:25,270 Let me tell you something. It takes a big man to admit his mistakes. 204 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,480 And there is a big man! 205 00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:32,690 It is in the opinion of myself and my agency of which I represent 206 00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:36,530 that Junior will not be removed from this orphanage. 207 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:39,410 Removed? What do you mean, removed? 208 00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,030 Don't worry about it. 209 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:46,330 The nuns made a suggestion you might be happier outside of the orphanage. 210 00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:52,380 - What's so funny? - You are, you stupid dick. 211 00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:54,840 He's wicked! 212 00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:58,960 You're not saying you'd rather not be in the orphanage, are you? 213 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:03,000 Think much, pea brain? I want out! 214 00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:06,350 You see, Mr Peabody? The child is incorrigible! 215 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,390 I'm what? Why don't you speak English, lady? 216 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,560 Look, maybe... 217 00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:15,430 - Uh, maybe... - What the child is trying to say is... 218 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:21,660 Maybe if I shrug and move my hands like this, people will think I know what I'm talking about. 219 00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:25,830 It's obvious that the kid's unbalanced. I knew that from the start. 220 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,670 I was playing devil's advocate. Devil, you know... 221 00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:32,960 Anyway, on behalf of myself and the agency, 222 00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:38,340 this child is going to be removed from this orphanage as soon as possible! 223 00:17:38,510 --> 00:17:43,140 Well, hurry the hell up! I'm not getting any younger! 224 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:04,200 There's Ed and Sally and little Joey going into the Whites'. There must be a party. 225 00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:10,210 Look at her dress. That's a new... I've looked all over for shoes like that. 226 00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:15,000 - Wonder why we weren't invited. - Same reason we weren't invited to the rest. 227 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:17,660 You can't go to a kids' party without a kid. 228 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:23,510 Being a parent is power and once you're in that circle you keep everyone else out. 229 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:29,680 Flo, being a parent is about sharing. It's about a mom, a dad and a kid. 230 00:18:29,850 --> 00:18:35,230 Except there isn't going to be a kid, Ben. It's just you and me forever. 231 00:18:39,860 --> 00:18:43,410 - Why can't we adopt? - We've been through this! 232 00:18:43,570 --> 00:18:48,290 I know, but we have so much love to give. Why waste it on these stupid pets? 233 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,860 They are not stupid! 234 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,750 Hello! 235 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:57,750 Think of it this way. All those mothers had to make do with what nature gave them. 236 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,710 You and I get to pick out our kid. It'll be like shopping. 237 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,930 - Shopping? - Uh-huh. 238 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,800 But the neighbours will know we've adopted. What'll they say? 239 00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:12,270 The neighbours? They'll say, "Look!" 240 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:17,310 "There's Ben and Flo Healy going out to yet another birthday party with their new son!" 241 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,780 "Isn't he adorable?" 242 00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:23,730 "And look at how fantastic Flo looks in her new dress!" 243 00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:27,200 "Where did she get a bag to match those shoes?" 244 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:31,540 Then they'll say, "Let's invite that Healy family over for dinner." 245 00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:34,330 Oh, Ben, dinners! 246 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,250 OK, let's get a kid. 247 00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:40,670 Hurry up, students. Five more minutes for your pen- pals. 248 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,590 Then we have to work on our times tables. 249 00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:50,340 Dear Queen Elizabeth, how is England? It must be nice to be a queen. 250 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,310 Dear Bishop Tutu, how are you? 251 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,520 I am fine. I hope everything's going well with your marching. 252 00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,940 Dear Bow Tie Killer, how's prison? 253 00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:05,110 There's a nice picture of you on the front page that I'm gonna add to my collection. 254 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:10,660 Even though we've never met, I feel we have a lot in common. Nobody understands us. 255 00:20:10,830 --> 00:20:14,960 I'm still wearing a bow tie so I can look just like you. 256 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:20,540 After all these letters, I've got good news. I'm getting out. Isn't that great? 257 00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:23,920 Your number one fan, Junior. 258 00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:35,700 Smoke. 259 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,400 Sir. 260 00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:49,030 Sir, sorry to disturb you but this letter came for you. 261 00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:56,290 Read this to me. 262 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:59,080 Hey, it's a letter from JR. 263 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:03,040 Yeah? Someday we're gonna meet up on the outside. 264 00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:06,090 We're gonna do some serious damage. 265 00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:08,590 "Good news, I'm getting out." 266 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:13,890 What? He's getting paroled? They gotta be out of their minds! 267 00:21:14,060 --> 00:21:16,520 You know that guy? He's crazier than I am. 268 00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:18,690 Chill. The warden! 269 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:25,360 Well, well! If it isn't our model prisoner, looking so pretty today in his little bow tie! 270 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:27,740 Hey, warden! Catch! 271 00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:35,740 I hope I'm not rushing you. We can always let nature take its course. 272 00:21:35,910 --> 00:21:39,960 Nature screwed us over. Let's give commerce a try. 273 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:47,300 Let's see what I can do. You want a kid you could love, I'll put you on the waiting list. 274 00:21:47,470 --> 00:21:49,930 You should have a kid in seven years. 275 00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,430 - Seven years? - Unless... 276 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:57,060 Nah, nah, I didn't say a word. I did not say a word. 277 00:21:57,230 --> 00:22:00,350 No, what? What were you gonna say? 278 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:06,110 Well, I really put my foot in my mouth this time but, I don't know, I like you two. 279 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:11,280 I like the two of you and when I like two people, I want to help them out. 280 00:22:11,450 --> 00:22:16,200 That's just my nature. I want to help out people that I like. 281 00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:20,500 Just this morning I came upon a seven- year- old. 282 00:22:20,670 --> 00:22:25,830 Smart as a tack, a little rambunctious but weren't we all at that age? 283 00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:30,300 I think I even have a photo here for you. 284 00:22:31,090 --> 00:22:33,390 He does look presentable in that bow tie. 285 00:22:33,550 --> 00:22:35,260 Adorable! 286 00:22:35,430 --> 00:22:40,310 I don't know. Seven is rather old. I wanted people to think I had the baby myself. 287 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:45,020 That's understandable. A lot of women feel that way. You want a cute little infant. 288 00:22:45,190 --> 00:22:48,150 One that will scream in the middle of the night 289 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:53,400 and you'll have to stumble downstairs in the dark and change his soiled diapers. 290 00:22:53,570 --> 00:22:56,410 You'll do your housework, eat chocolates, 291 00:22:56,580 --> 00:23:00,360 take care of the kid and you'll put on 50 or 60 pounds. 292 00:23:00,540 --> 00:23:01,570 No diapers? 293 00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:05,080 You like to sleep late. There'd be no baby waking you up. 294 00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:10,760 We could skip all that baby junk and move right into the good stuff like... 295 00:23:10,930 --> 00:23:13,550 ...parties and more parties! 296 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,050 I could be president of the PTA by September! 297 00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:20,770 - Fuzzball will have someone to play with. - Yes! Fuzzball's our cat. 298 00:23:20,940 --> 00:23:24,850 I can't believe it! Junior, he loves cats. 299 00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:27,810 Do you hear that? Let's do it. 300 00:23:27,980 --> 00:23:30,820 Mr Peabody, you've got yourself a deal. 301 00:23:30,990 --> 00:23:32,990 And you've got yourself a kid. 302 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,580 Here he comes. Flo, that's our son. 303 00:23:45,630 --> 00:23:48,460 Can you believe it? That's our boy. 304 00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:52,330 He's very handsome. I'll be the envy of the neighbourhood. 305 00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:55,430 They look like a couple of yahoos. 306 00:23:58,810 --> 00:23:59,840 Hi! 307 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,640 I think I'm gonna cry. 308 00:24:02,810 --> 00:24:05,980 You ever seen a grown man wear so much blue? 309 00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:08,690 Hey there, little buddy. 310 00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:12,230 I'm Ben, this is Flo. Put it there, partner. 311 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,570 My name's Junior. My favourite colour's blue. What's yours? 312 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,530 My favourite colour's blue, too. Can you believe...? 313 00:24:20,700 --> 00:24:24,120 He's perfect. He's wonderful. Come here. 314 00:24:24,290 --> 00:24:27,500 Thank you, sisters, goodbye. Goodbye, kids! 315 00:24:27,670 --> 00:24:30,420 Bye, everybody! Don't forget to write! 316 00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:40,930 We got the pick of the litter. Everyone's come out to see him off. 317 00:25:01,790 --> 00:25:04,280 Here we are! Isn't this exciting? 318 00:25:04,460 --> 00:25:09,040 Right, everybody out. This is gonna be so great! 319 00:25:09,210 --> 00:25:15,300 OK, now, everybody over by the house. This is Junior's first day at his new home. 320 00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:17,870 OK, I want everyone over. Come on. 321 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:22,100 Junior, put your suitcase down here. Darling, I want you to hug him. 322 00:25:22,260 --> 00:25:25,350 A lot of teeth. I want everybody to be happy. 323 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:29,350 - Smile and say, "cheese doodles!" - Cheese doodles! 324 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,060 That's great, that's terrific. 325 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:37,150 How come you adopted me? How come you just didn't have a baby? 326 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,780 Well, gee... 327 00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:43,990 With a baby, you never know what you're getting. It could be a dud. 328 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,540 But with you there's no surprise. 329 00:25:46,710 --> 00:25:49,500 - Mr Peabody told us how terrific you are. - He did? 330 00:25:49,670 --> 00:25:54,380 Sure. He said that you were voted most popular orphan two years in a row. 331 00:25:54,550 --> 00:25:56,840 That was smart of him. 332 00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:03,300 - In we go. - Wow. This is a great house. 333 00:26:03,470 --> 00:26:06,810 We're going to keep it neat and clean, aren't we? 334 00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:14,400 I hope you guys are insured. 335 00:26:16,190 --> 00:26:21,070 And you have a cat. Here, kitty-kitty. 336 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:26,120 No, Junior, make nice with kitty. Only pet her this way. 337 00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:29,500 I've never seen Fuzzball act like that. 338 00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:32,790 Junior, come here. I want you to meet Polly. 339 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,920 - Polly, say hello to Junior. - Hello. Hello. 340 00:26:38,090 --> 00:26:40,630 Is that the only word he knows? 341 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,260 - Yes. I want to show you the house. - Uh-oh! 342 00:26:46,270 --> 00:26:50,220 - Do I get my own bed? - This is the big time! You get your own room! 343 00:26:50,390 --> 00:26:53,730 - Wow! - I hope you like clowns. 344 00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:00,310 Oh, my God. They're retarded. 345 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,410 So, what do you think, big guy? 346 00:27:03,570 --> 00:27:07,160 Well, there sure are a lot of clowns. 347 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:14,920 That must be your new grandpa. You stay here. We'll give old gramps a big surprise. 348 00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:16,460 Sh! 349 00:27:23,970 --> 00:27:26,010 Dad, are we glad to see you. 350 00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:29,680 What's this big surprise you dragged me over here for? 351 00:27:29,850 --> 00:27:33,350 Well, Dad, here's a hint. 352 00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:38,020 Oh, my God. 353 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,070 Finally. 354 00:27:40,820 --> 00:27:45,070 You've both cooked up a cute little kid for my campaign! 355 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:49,280 I thought you were getting fatter, Mama! When's my little grandson due? 356 00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:54,000 - Fatter? - No, Dad. Florence is not gonna have a baby. 357 00:27:54,710 --> 00:27:56,540 You rascal, you! 358 00:27:56,710 --> 00:28:01,790 You followed my advice and took your sperm to somebody who knows what to do with it, 359 00:28:01,970 --> 00:28:03,220 a surrogate mother. 360 00:28:03,380 --> 00:28:09,470 Tell me something. Do you make out with a cup or do you get to bump a real live one? 361 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,470 No, Dad, we adopted. 362 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,020 Are you insane? 363 00:28:15,310 --> 00:28:17,720 I thought you'd be happy. Come on. 364 00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:20,860 You don't know what you're letting yourself in for. 365 00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:23,710 Dopehead mothers. Garbage blood. 366 00:28:23,860 --> 00:28:26,990 His parents may have met in a loony bin. They might be Democrats. 367 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:31,950 He's a beautiful kid. Once you meet him, you'll love him like your very own. 368 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:36,790 I would like to proudly present the newest member of the Healy family, Junior! 369 00:28:38,170 --> 00:28:40,040 No! Junior! 370 00:28:40,210 --> 00:28:43,010 That's a thousand-dollar coat! 371 00:28:43,170 --> 00:28:46,470 - Junior, are you in here? - Junior! 372 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,260 Oh, my God. It's the devil. 373 00:28:50,430 --> 00:28:53,930 - Buddy, are you OK? - Yeah, just a little smoky. 374 00:28:55,900 --> 00:28:59,980 Look, here's the problem. This clown must have shorted out. 375 00:29:00,150 --> 00:29:03,650 Sparks were coming out of his nose. I was so scared. 376 00:29:03,820 --> 00:29:07,450 - Little punk is lying. - Dad! 377 00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:11,830 I hope you kept the damn receipt. You got one bad seed there. 378 00:29:11,990 --> 00:29:15,940 He can hear you. You'll hurt his feelings. It was just an accident. 379 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,820 - Accident! Get rid of him. - We've made our decision. 380 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:24,050 OK, but it's the last time I set foot in this house. 381 00:29:34,230 --> 00:29:36,310 Come on, boys. 382 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,480 - Get back. - What's happening? 383 00:29:39,650 --> 00:29:42,270 Get rid of that kid! 384 00:29:43,610 --> 00:29:46,940 - Get rid of him. - Easy! 385 00:29:48,030 --> 00:29:50,780 Get rid of that kid! 386 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,330 Poor Fuzzball. She'll never be the same. 387 00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:01,170 Are you ser... 388 00:30:01,340 --> 00:30:04,840 Is that all you can think of is your stupid cat? 389 00:30:05,010 --> 00:30:11,010 What about the fact that Father's on his way to the hospital? Or Junior's traumatic first day? 390 00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:13,260 Did you think about the poor boy? 391 00:30:13,430 --> 00:30:15,430 He must feel horrible. 392 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,270 Yeah, but this might make me feel better. 393 00:30:21,310 --> 00:30:24,940 Fifty, sixty, seventy... 394 00:30:31,660 --> 00:30:33,820 I see a furry bunny. 395 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:40,580 A furry bunny is running through delicate white snowflakes. 396 00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:43,380 He's lying. That's not what he sees. 397 00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:47,920 I'm sorry, I'm conducting an examination. Now what do you see, Martin? 398 00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:50,630 I see a meadow. Pink flowers. 399 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:56,180 He's lying again. How can he see pink? It's a black and white picture. There is no pink. 400 00:30:56,350 --> 00:30:59,730 Warden, if you don't stop, I'll have to ask you to leave. 401 00:30:59,890 --> 00:31:01,810 There is no pink. 402 00:31:04,110 --> 00:31:06,860 I see white fluffy clouds... 403 00:31:07,030 --> 00:31:10,320 No, you don't! You see murder! You see guts! 404 00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:12,700 I'm going to ask you to leave! 405 00:31:12,870 --> 00:31:16,370 Those damn liberal laws! Don't you understand? He sees blood! 406 00:31:16,540 --> 00:31:18,620 No, that's what you see. 407 00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:24,040 I am so sorry about that, Martin. 408 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,880 Now, let's get back to our examination. Shall we? 409 00:31:29,050 --> 00:31:31,010 What do you see in this one? 410 00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:33,750 I see... 411 00:31:33,930 --> 00:31:35,800 ...blood! 412 00:31:42,140 --> 00:31:46,150 - Doc, how did it go with the star patient? - Oh, that guy. 413 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,480 There's a few bricks missing from his building. 414 00:32:20,270 --> 00:32:24,270 - Hey, what are you doing? - Nothing. 415 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:25,770 Gosh, what happened here? 416 00:32:25,940 --> 00:32:30,860 I was looking for some paper to write a get - well note to Big Ben. 417 00:32:31,030 --> 00:32:35,740 That's very thoughtful, Junior, but these are Mom's private drawers. 418 00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:39,950 You shouldn't go in there. It's where she keeps her needlepoint and crochet. 419 00:32:51,550 --> 00:32:56,340 I'm really sorry, Mr Healy. I was scared being all alone in my room. 420 00:32:58,140 --> 00:33:00,260 Of course. 421 00:33:00,430 --> 00:33:05,140 I understand why you're scared. This is your first night in your new home. 422 00:33:05,310 --> 00:33:08,900 It's gonna take some getting used to, isn't it? 423 00:33:09,060 --> 00:33:15,280 You know, Junior, I'm a little scared myself. This is my first night being a dad. 424 00:33:15,450 --> 00:33:19,450 - You'll learn quick enough. - Learn what? 425 00:33:19,620 --> 00:33:23,740 What it's like to be a dad. Then you'll get rid of me. 426 00:33:24,790 --> 00:33:30,210 Get rid of you? Junior. We're never gonna get rid of you. You're here forever. 427 00:33:30,380 --> 00:33:33,000 We're gonna do everything together. 428 00:33:33,170 --> 00:33:36,870 We'll ride bikes, go fishing, play catch. 429 00:33:37,050 --> 00:33:40,510 I want to be a good dad. I want to be a great dad. 430 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,050 You know what? 431 00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:44,710 I will never be too busy to sit down 432 00:33:44,890 --> 00:33:49,650 and listen to what's on my son's mind over a cup of hot cocoa. 433 00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:00,190 Hey, sleepyhead. Y'all ready to go camping? 434 00:34:00,370 --> 00:34:04,030 I was planning on watching cartoons. 435 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,370 Don't be such a noodle. 436 00:34:06,540 --> 00:34:11,920 When I was your age, your grandfather was always too busy to take me camping. 437 00:34:12,090 --> 00:34:14,340 You are a lucky duck. 438 00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:17,670 Ben! Bring him. 439 00:34:18,630 --> 00:34:24,430 - Come here, I want you to meet someone. - Mrs Henderson! And little Miss Lucy! 440 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,680 What a nice surprise! 441 00:34:26,850 --> 00:34:32,940 We heard about your little accident and we thought this fruitcake might cheer you up. 442 00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:35,980 Thank you! 443 00:34:36,150 --> 00:34:39,570 I would like you to meet my son Junior. 444 00:34:39,740 --> 00:34:42,820 - Pleased to meet you, ladies. - Oh, my! 445 00:34:42,990 --> 00:34:46,200 He's a perfect little gentleman. Isn't he, Lucy? 446 00:34:46,370 --> 00:34:48,200 He's so big. 447 00:34:48,370 --> 00:34:52,750 Yesterday they didn't even have a kid and now they have a seven-year-old. 448 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,290 That's gross. 449 00:34:55,460 --> 00:34:59,590 - I don't want him at my party. - Lucy. 450 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:05,430 But, Mother, he dresses like the man that cremated Uncle Leo. 451 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,140 Lucy's turning six this week 452 00:35:08,310 --> 00:35:12,770 but I don't think we'll have a clown this year. 453 00:35:12,940 --> 00:35:16,480 Or balloons. Or ice cream. 454 00:35:18,740 --> 00:35:24,990 I'm having a birthday party Saturday. I think it would be nice if you came. 455 00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:33,710 We'll see you Saturday at two. Come on, Lucy, get in the car. 456 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:38,750 - Thanks. I'll return the lovely platter. - Thanks again. 457 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,760 We have finally been accepted. This parent crap is really paying off. 458 00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:47,350 It's a dream come true. A birthday party. Now we're going camping with our son. 459 00:35:47,510 --> 00:35:51,890 Not me. I'm going to buy a dress for the party. Give me some money. 460 00:35:52,060 --> 00:35:55,810 - You're not going camping with us? - Not on your life. 461 00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:58,230 OK. 462 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,230 Junior! This gives me an idea. 463 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:05,030 I don't see why my son shouldn't be getting his own allowance. 464 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,530 - What do you say? - All right! 465 00:36:07,700 --> 00:36:12,410 This is gonna give you a good opportunity to learn to manage money. 466 00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:15,620 How do you manage a buck? 467 00:36:15,790 --> 00:36:20,460 Come on, Mr Molasses, let's go. We're late. 468 00:36:28,350 --> 00:36:31,350 Neat! Bears! 469 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,770 Don't worry, buddy, bears rarely attack unless provoked. 470 00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:39,480 Let's keep our eyes peeled for camp site 32. 471 00:36:39,650 --> 00:36:41,730 That's the one Roy reserved especially for us. 472 00:36:43,900 --> 00:36:48,530 Nice spot your friend reserved especially for us, Mr Healy 473 00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:53,580 - This is nature, huh? The sky, the trees? - The toilets. 474 00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:59,540 You're not gonna see the sunset over there. Come on over, watch on our river - bank. 475 00:36:59,710 --> 00:37:01,960 I'd tell him to shove it, Mr Healy. 476 00:37:02,130 --> 00:37:07,090 It's no big deal. More important, why don't you call me Dad? I'd really like that. 477 00:37:07,260 --> 00:37:10,390 I want to go home and watch TV. 478 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,020 TV? What's TV compared to the... 479 00:37:13,180 --> 00:37:16,100 ...to the call of the wild bobolink, and that spruce? 480 00:37:18,940 --> 00:37:21,270 That's a pretty big bobolink. 481 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:27,030 Old MacDonald had a farm E- i- e- i-o... 482 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,240 Hey, Little Ben. 483 00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:35,950 - Kids, the wienies are almost done! - Yeah! 484 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,420 I don't believe this. 485 00:37:38,580 --> 00:37:44,210 Those are Roy's kids. They're sharing a brain. The one on the end has it today. 486 00:37:46,550 --> 00:37:50,590 Little Ben. Come here, inside. Get in here, come on. 487 00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:57,890 - How does it feel, camping with your son? - Roy, it's great. It's a dream come true. 488 00:37:58,060 --> 00:38:02,440 Forget the fact that you had to go to the kid emporium and buy one. 489 00:38:02,610 --> 00:38:06,360 We can't all produce six perfect little angels like me and Harriet. 490 00:38:06,530 --> 00:38:09,700 I only got one, but he's one in a million. 491 00:38:12,450 --> 00:38:14,410 Gee, Roy. 492 00:38:14,580 --> 00:38:18,080 - It's gonna give the kids a scare, isn't it? - You got me. 493 00:38:18,250 --> 00:38:23,290 - Wait a minute. I got something else for you. - I can't wait to see their faces light up. 494 00:38:23,460 --> 00:38:25,340 It's so real. 495 00:38:25,510 --> 00:38:29,760 Little Ben, now that you're a father, try this on for size. 496 00:38:34,810 --> 00:38:37,100 Gee, thanks, Roy. 497 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:42,480 The monkey thought it was all in fun Pop goes the weasell 498 00:38:42,650 --> 00:38:47,480 A penny for a spool of thread A penny for a needle 499 00:38:47,650 --> 00:38:51,820 That's the way the money goes Pop goes the weasell 500 00:38:51,990 --> 00:38:55,530 - All right! What do we do now? - Let's tell ghost stories. 501 00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:58,700 - Let's roast marshmallows. - Let's light a forest fire. 502 00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:03,580 - Don't you know it's bad to light forest fires? - That's the whole point. 503 00:39:03,750 --> 00:39:07,670 - I'm gonna tell my daddy on you! - I'm gonna tell. 504 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,800 - Give him the silent treatment. - Yeah, ignore him. 505 00:39:13,550 --> 00:39:16,850 Ignore this. 506 00:39:17,020 --> 00:39:19,100 Gross! 507 00:39:23,730 --> 00:39:28,480 This outdoor life is gonna be just the ticket for Junior. He's gonna blossom out here. 508 00:39:28,650 --> 00:39:30,780 We sure do enjoy it. 509 00:39:30,950 --> 00:39:35,240 I bet you've never been camping before. It's so much fun. 510 00:39:35,410 --> 00:39:38,620 There's singing. Marshmallows. 511 00:39:38,790 --> 00:39:41,580 And all sorts of stupid humans to scare. 512 00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:49,050 Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream 513 00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:53,430 Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream 514 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,650 Roy, you devil. 515 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:14,650 What's the matter, kids? You afraid of a measly little bear? He's not so bad. 516 00:40:15,660 --> 00:40:18,990 Great. This is great, Roy. 517 00:40:20,450 --> 00:40:24,040 Let's see if he's ticklish. Mr Bear ticklish? Coochie-coochie! 518 00:40:25,460 --> 00:40:26,830 Coochie... 519 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,300 That was close! You... 520 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,260 Roy? 521 00:40:34,430 --> 00:40:37,000 Roy! Help! 522 00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:39,590 Help! Help! 523 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,950 Stay here, stay here. 524 00:40:54,450 --> 00:40:56,820 - Where did he go? - I think it left. 525 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,100 He must have learned it from the tourists. 526 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:43,080 Roy! 527 00:41:49,170 --> 00:41:53,670 I can't get it out of my head that Junior was responsible for the camping thing. 528 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,130 He was laughing his head off. 529 00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:58,340 Just lock him in his room tonight. 530 00:41:58,510 --> 00:42:02,210 It says that children often misbehave just to get attention 531 00:42:02,390 --> 00:42:07,350 and we should resort to discipline only when other forms of positive reinforcement fail. 532 00:42:08,900 --> 00:42:11,150 Up yours! Up yours! 533 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,820 - Reinforce that. - Dickhead. 534 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:23,450 Mrs Henderson, your home is lovely. 535 00:42:23,620 --> 00:42:26,950 - Call me Marion. - Marion, this is fabulous. 536 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,880 There's nothing more wonderful than children playing, hearing them laughing. 537 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,380 - Excuse me. - Did you see Junior's outfit? 538 00:42:36,170 --> 00:42:38,880 Isn't he precious? 539 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,600 Also, Big Ben means big business! 540 00:42:47,770 --> 00:42:52,020 Junior, I got some buttons for the kids and some stickers for their bikes. 541 00:42:52,190 --> 00:42:56,140 Do your grandfather a favour and pass them out among your friends. 542 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,030 What for? 543 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,070 What for? 544 00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:05,330 - For ten bucks, that's what's for. - Sure, Grandpa! 545 00:43:05,490 --> 00:43:07,290 Kids, huh? 546 00:43:21,010 --> 00:43:24,510 Put that down! That's mine! These are all my presents! 547 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:29,980 - I was only looking at it. - You're gonna break it! Get away from it! 548 00:43:30,140 --> 00:43:34,940 - Who's that? - He can't play with us. He's got cooties. 549 00:43:35,110 --> 00:43:38,030 He's not even a real kid. He's adopted. 550 00:43:38,190 --> 00:43:40,740 Gross! 551 00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:44,950 All right, boys and girls, come on out. Time for the magic show. 552 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:46,580 All right! 553 00:43:48,620 --> 00:43:51,000 - You can't come out. - Why not? 554 00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,450 'Cause I said so. 555 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:58,090 It's my party and I get to say who can watch my magic show and who can't. 556 00:44:14,310 --> 00:44:17,940 - Why aren't you outside? - Clowns are dumb. 557 00:44:18,110 --> 00:44:20,360 It's tough being left out, isn't it? 558 00:44:24,410 --> 00:44:28,410 If I give you something, would you promise to take care of it? 559 00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:39,960 My grandfather gave this to me just before he died. 560 00:44:40,130 --> 00:44:42,810 What is it? 561 00:44:42,970 --> 00:44:47,090 It's a prune, hardened. It's a hardened prune. 562 00:44:47,260 --> 00:44:52,270 Grandfather became a little senile toward the end. He thought it resembled Roosevelt. 563 00:44:52,430 --> 00:44:58,150 But the important thing is that it's a bond between two people. 564 00:44:59,900 --> 00:45:02,530 I've kept it in my pocket for 30 years. 565 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:06,320 - Ben, I want you to meet the Hofsteders! - Coming, sweetheart. 566 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:10,700 - I know you'll take good care of it. - Ben, move it! 567 00:45:19,090 --> 00:45:22,550 You can't come to my magic show. 568 00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:25,840 I had some magic of my own. 569 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,430 It's my party and I'll cry if I want to 570 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:34,930 Cry if I want to Cry if I want to 571 00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:40,450 You would cry too if it happened to you 572 00:45:41,900 --> 00:45:45,680 Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone 573 00:45:45,860 --> 00:45:49,560 But Judy left the same time 574 00:45:49,740 --> 00:45:55,790 Why was he holding her hand? When he's supposed to be mine 575 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,540 It's my party and I'll cry if I want to 576 00:46:00,710 --> 00:46:04,630 Cry if I want to Cry if I want to 577 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:09,590 You would cry too if it happened to you 578 00:46:11,970 --> 00:46:15,430 Play all my records Keep dancing all night 579 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:19,690 But we were alone for a while 580 00:46:19,860 --> 00:46:26,310 Till Johnny's dancing with me I've got no reason to smile 581 00:46:26,490 --> 00:46:29,740 It's my party and I'll cry if I want to 582 00:46:29,910 --> 00:46:33,910 Cry if I want to Cry if I want to 583 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:38,710 You would cry too if it happened to you... 584 00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:00,060 Judy and Johnny Just walked through the door 585 00:47:00,230 --> 00:47:03,900 Like a queen with her king 586 00:47:04,070 --> 00:47:10,950 Oh, what a birthday surprise Judy's wearing his ring 587 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,450 It's my party and I'll cry if I want to 588 00:47:14,620 --> 00:47:18,080 Cry if I want to Cry if I want to 589 00:47:18,250 --> 00:47:24,170 You would cry too if it happened to you 590 00:47:24,340 --> 00:47:29,130 Oh-oh, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to 591 00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:33,050 Cry if I want to Cry if I want to 592 00:47:33,220 --> 00:47:39,140 You would cry too if it happened to you 593 00:47:40,230 --> 00:47:44,560 Perhaps this was the one step too far. This could be a problem. 594 00:47:44,730 --> 00:47:47,360 - I think we've got a problem. - You think so? 595 00:47:47,530 --> 00:47:51,280 We should get rid of the kid and buy a new cat! 596 00:47:51,450 --> 00:47:56,910 - You're not making any sense. - Wanna make sense? Show him who's boss! 597 00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,410 Here, be a man. 598 00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:10,160 Please, God, I'm so sorry for what I've done. I won't ever do it again, I promise. 599 00:48:10,340 --> 00:48:14,040 And I don't ever want to cause Mr Healy any trouble. 600 00:48:14,220 --> 00:48:17,390 He's the only one that's ever been nice to me. 601 00:48:20,140 --> 00:48:22,520 Please don't spank me, Mr Healy. 602 00:48:23,810 --> 00:48:27,440 I don't want to but you're gonna have to be punished. 603 00:48:27,610 --> 00:48:31,110 So, I'm gonna take back your allowance. 604 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,150 The whole buck? 605 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,200 That's right. Now, just hand it over. 606 00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,580 I wonder if he's got change for a 20. 607 00:48:52,420 --> 00:48:54,170 OK. 608 00:48:54,340 --> 00:48:56,800 I think you'd better go right to bed. 609 00:48:56,970 --> 00:49:02,130 Just use this time to think about what you've done and what you're going to do. 610 00:49:02,310 --> 00:49:05,060 Understand? 611 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,150 I hope you've learned a lesson. 612 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,280 Goodnight. 613 00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:16,860 What is this guy, nice or something? 614 00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:32,630 - Can I help you? - Fill her up. 615 00:49:38,260 --> 00:49:40,970 Smiley pies! 616 00:49:41,140 --> 00:49:44,100 I ain't had a smiley pie in 15 years. 617 00:50:19,010 --> 00:50:23,510 Now, Cold River's favourite son, Big Ben Healyl 618 00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:30,440 First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who supported me in my race for Mayor. 619 00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:34,730 This is the Founders Day game. 620 00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:39,490 It doesn't matter who wins or loses, just so long as Big Ben wins for Mayor. 621 00:50:41,370 --> 00:50:47,290 When you hit one out and that scoreboard lights up, I want you to remember Big Ben. 622 00:50:57,260 --> 00:50:59,940 We go to the seventh inning tied. 623 00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:19,780 All right, somebody's gonna have to pinch-hit for Andy. OK, buddy, this is your big moment. 624 00:51:20,610 --> 00:51:24,780 - Who, me? - Of course you, Junior. I need you to bat. 625 00:51:24,950 --> 00:51:29,500 Get up, grab a helmet. Get a bat, that's a boy. 626 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:33,080 But I don't know how to play baseball. 627 00:51:33,250 --> 00:51:36,040 Now is as good a time as any to learn. 628 00:51:36,210 --> 00:51:39,670 - But what happens if... - It doesn't matter what happens. 629 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,970 The important thing is that you stand up there and take your cuts, OK? 630 00:51:44,140 --> 00:51:47,060 I'll be proud of you no matter how you do. 631 00:51:47,220 --> 00:51:52,900 Are you out of your mind, putting that little monster in the game? I'm on a campaign. 632 00:51:53,060 --> 00:51:56,190 Junior'll do just fine, Dad. You can do it, buddy. 633 00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:01,200 Nice little tie, moose breath. Bet you sell a lot of Girl Scout cookies wearing that. 634 00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,450 No batter, Cort. 635 00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:06,190 He's cute, isn't he? 636 00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,620 Strike one. 637 00:52:13,380 --> 00:52:17,960 If that kid wasn't adopted, I'd swear he was your real son. 638 00:52:18,130 --> 00:52:21,590 You weren't on the team the last time we beat you. 639 00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:24,250 The guy I'm staying with is the coach. 640 00:52:24,430 --> 00:52:27,850 You mean that big dork who buys everyone ice cream. 641 00:52:28,020 --> 00:52:30,100 He is not a dork! 642 00:52:30,270 --> 00:52:34,520 Watch the pitcher, not the catcher, buddy, come on! 643 00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:49,580 My new car! Oh, my God! 644 00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:55,460 Shake it off. Tighten up that grip, all right? Meet the ball. Hold onto the bat, OK? 645 00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:58,170 - Come on, boy! - Good idea. 646 00:52:58,340 --> 00:53:00,960 Yeah, hold on to the bat. 647 00:53:01,130 --> 00:53:03,970 Son of dork, son of dork! 648 00:53:04,220 --> 00:53:08,300 Son of dork! 649 00:53:09,310 --> 00:53:11,640 Oh, no. 650 00:53:24,780 --> 00:53:26,950 Drop the bat, son! 651 00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,000 That's no good! 652 00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:35,330 You can't do that. 653 00:53:35,500 --> 00:53:38,040 Whoa! 654 00:53:39,340 --> 00:53:42,670 Drop the bat, Junior! Are you nuts? 655 00:53:46,430 --> 00:53:48,680 Whoa! 656 00:53:59,730 --> 00:54:01,820 Come on, I got something for you! 657 00:54:05,610 --> 00:54:07,570 Ow! 658 00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:11,200 Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown! 659 00:54:11,370 --> 00:54:14,490 Touchdown! 660 00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,010 We've adopted Satan. 661 00:54:28,180 --> 00:54:32,040 I don't now what you could've been thinking about! We've done all we can. 662 00:54:32,220 --> 00:54:36,060 Now, you wait right here. I'm gonna get the priest. 663 00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:42,730 Hello, Mr Healy. Remember me? You sold me a canteen. 664 00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:45,440 Boy, did we have a great camping trip! 665 00:54:45,610 --> 00:54:48,860 I caught three fish. My dad was really proud. 666 00:54:49,030 --> 00:54:51,410 Blow it out your ass. 667 00:54:53,950 --> 00:54:56,410 Junior. Junior! 668 00:54:56,580 --> 00:54:58,660 Get back here, you little heathen! 669 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:03,170 Junior! Where are you, you little creep? 670 00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:24,440 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Father? Father? 671 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,820 Father, I'm at the end of my rope. It's about my kid. 672 00:55:29,990 --> 00:55:35,740 He's a real problem. He does terrible things. My father hates him. My wife hates him. 673 00:55:35,910 --> 00:55:37,700 Everybody hates him. 674 00:55:37,870 --> 00:55:40,330 Everybody except me. And I've had it. 675 00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:43,580 God! I've failed, Father. The kid hates me. 676 00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:48,880 It's time I faced up to what I do have to do. I'm gonna take him back to the orphanage. 677 00:55:49,050 --> 00:55:53,590 No, no, you don't want to do that! That's the worst thing you could do! 678 00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:10,690 - Can I call you back? - He's all yours. 679 00:56:10,860 --> 00:56:13,610 - Can we discuss this? - There is nothing to discuss. 680 00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:18,240 - We're signing him back over to you now! - Bad parents make bad children! 681 00:56:18,410 --> 00:56:20,870 I'm a bad parent because I hate my kid? 682 00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:24,670 - There is something strange about that boy! - He is twisted! 683 00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:28,130 - You took him! He's yours! - You conned us into it! 684 00:56:28,300 --> 00:56:33,680 What am I supposed to do with the little creep? He's already been returned 30 times! 685 00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,050 This makes 31! 686 00:56:36,220 --> 00:56:38,930 "We don't care about brown hair and brown eyes." 687 00:56:39,100 --> 00:56:42,680 "We want to take him into our home and let him play with our cat!" 688 00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:45,340 Hold it! Stop, wait! 689 00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:49,360 What are we talking about? Thirty? Thirty times? 690 00:56:49,530 --> 00:56:52,020 Flo, did you hear that? 691 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,820 This is a human being we're talking about! 692 00:56:54,990 --> 00:56:57,370 That kid's a monster! 693 00:56:57,540 --> 00:57:01,490 Flo, we're doing what everybody else has done to this child. 694 00:57:01,660 --> 00:57:05,080 - It's easy to give up on a kid. - Damn straight it is. 695 00:57:05,250 --> 00:57:10,600 Isn't that what's wrong with the world today? Everybody's looking for the easy way out. 696 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:15,800 They're hoping that their problems will just go away. 697 00:57:15,970 --> 00:57:20,140 But problems don't just go, Flo, you know? 698 00:57:20,310 --> 00:57:25,020 So, the question before us is what are we gonna do with our little problem child? 699 00:57:25,190 --> 00:57:27,400 I'll tell you. 700 00:57:27,570 --> 00:57:32,780 Something that no one's ever done for him before. We're gonna love him, Flo. 701 00:57:33,900 --> 00:57:38,320 We're gonna love him when he's bad, we're gonna love him when he's worse, 702 00:57:38,490 --> 00:57:42,660 until one day he's gonna crack and say, 703 00:57:42,830 --> 00:57:47,080 "Hey, these folks really do love me." 704 00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,630 "They ain't gonna quit on me." 705 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,880 "I don't have to be bad any more." 706 00:57:53,050 --> 00:57:57,130 "What the hay! I can be president of the United States!" 707 00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:03,350 President? Are you brain damaged? Junior's gonna be a convict before he's in third grade! 708 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,060 Sh! 709 00:58:05,230 --> 00:58:07,560 Junior? Son? 710 00:58:09,020 --> 00:58:12,520 - Unlock the door. - You said you were gonna keep me forever. 711 00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:17,110 I am. I'm sorry, I just made a mistake. 712 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:21,030 Trust me. We're not gonna take you back to the orphanage. 713 00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:26,410 I don't believe you! You only pretended to be my friend. You're just like all the others. 714 00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:31,290 Junior? Now, come on, son. 715 00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,670 You moron. You left the keys in the car. 716 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:40,510 Hey, he can drive! Boy, that's great! 717 00:58:41,220 --> 00:58:45,270 Look at you handle this baby! I'm so proud of you, son! 718 00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:48,440 Junior! 719 00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,560 Hold it! 720 00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:54,480 Get out of the way! 721 00:58:55,150 --> 00:58:57,240 Left! Turn left! 722 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:01,030 Right, Junior. 723 00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:07,960 No! 724 00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,500 No, don't touch that! 725 00:59:12,420 --> 00:59:14,750 Junior! 726 00:59:26,140 --> 00:59:27,980 Watch out! 727 00:59:34,650 --> 00:59:38,240 Born to be wild 728 01:00:02,220 --> 01:00:03,590 Hello? 729 01:00:04,350 --> 01:00:06,810 Ben? Jim O'Connor. Are you sitting down? 730 01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:08,350 Yes. 731 01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:13,650 Bad news. Your father cleaned out your bank account to pay for the damage to his store. 732 01:00:13,810 --> 01:00:17,150 Nothing can make up for the loss of your life savings... 733 01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:18,690 Ben? 734 01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,120 Uh-ohl He's lost it nowl 735 01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:49,140 All right! 736 01:00:53,810 --> 01:00:56,150 Private business. 737 01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,020 Hi! 738 01:00:58,190 --> 01:01:03,570 - Get out of my way, kid. I'm looking for JR. - That's me! Junior! 739 01:01:07,410 --> 01:01:10,700 I don't have time for this crap, kid. 740 01:01:10,870 --> 01:01:15,830 Now, the guy I'm looking for is an ex-con and he's as mean as a rattlesnake. 741 01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:19,210 That's me, dummy! I sent you all those letters. 742 01:01:19,380 --> 01:01:25,220 Man. I drove a thousand miles to hang out with a seven- year-old? 743 01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:29,220 - I'm gonna be eight in two weeks. - Don't count on it. 744 01:01:33,730 --> 01:01:39,230 Mr Healy, Mrs Healy, I'd like you to meet the greatest guy in the whole wide world. 745 01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:41,110 Martin... 746 01:01:42,740 --> 01:01:44,610 Uncle Marty! 747 01:01:44,780 --> 01:01:47,190 Marty, this is Mr and Mrs Healy 748 01:01:47,370 --> 01:01:51,370 and that's the $3,000 stereo system and the console TV. 749 01:01:51,540 --> 01:01:53,500 How wonderful, an uncle! 750 01:01:53,660 --> 01:01:56,120 You absolutely must stay the night. 751 01:01:56,290 --> 01:01:59,920 It is so wonderful to meet the uncle of darling little Junior. 752 01:02:00,090 --> 01:02:04,720 Did you hear that? Uncle Marty. We've gotta treat this guy like royalty. 753 01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:10,180 We've gotta make him think Junior's an angel. He'll leave and take the little brat with him. 754 01:02:10,350 --> 01:02:13,180 Everybody just loves Junior. 755 01:02:13,350 --> 01:02:18,230 For pocket money he helps some of the older residents with their groceries. 756 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,270 Isn't that right, Ben? 757 01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:28,700 If only he had a blood relative taking care of him, someone with a natural tie. Like an uncle! 758 01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:31,030 - More meatloaf? - Yeah. 759 01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:33,200 I'll get you some. 760 01:02:33,370 --> 01:02:36,330 This guy is just so appealing. 761 01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:38,910 I'll give you a hand. 762 01:02:41,670 --> 01:02:47,050 Your nephew is such a delight. He's always cleaning and tidying up after all of us. 763 01:02:47,220 --> 01:02:49,680 Perfect for a single man living alone. 764 01:02:49,850 --> 01:02:51,930 Are you a bachelor, Marty? 765 01:02:54,350 --> 01:02:57,600 I ain't been with a woman in 15 years. 766 01:02:57,770 --> 01:03:00,650 Women just love single male parents. 767 01:03:00,810 --> 01:03:05,530 If you had a kid like Junior the women would be flocking over you. 768 01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,370 Did you say 15 years? 769 01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:22,170 Wait. 770 01:03:25,420 --> 01:03:28,630 Stop it! 771 01:04:00,710 --> 01:04:03,500 Look at all the stuff I brought for our trip. 772 01:04:03,670 --> 01:04:09,380 I got my ammo. There's guns, hand grenades and even dynamite. 773 01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:18,720 These are toys. What are you jerking me around for? This is kiddies' stuff! 774 01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:24,970 What did you do that for? Don't we need supplies? 775 01:04:25,150 --> 01:04:27,900 What? I'm not working with you! 776 01:04:28,650 --> 01:04:33,200 But I thought we were gonna be partners. I thought you liked me. 777 01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:36,990 I don't like no one. I work alone. 778 01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:45,210 Goodbye, Junior! Goodbye, Flo! Oh, I am so sad to see you go. 779 01:04:45,380 --> 01:04:49,160 A hundred thousand dollars? You can keep 'em! 780 01:04:49,340 --> 01:04:52,550 Good morning! Hello, sunshine! 781 01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,930 This was supposed to be our honeymoon! 782 01:04:57,100 --> 01:05:00,640 You said you loved me! You called me a little kumquat. 783 01:05:00,810 --> 01:05:03,520 This is our honeymoon, you moron! 784 01:05:03,690 --> 01:05:06,310 Moron? Moron? 785 01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:11,360 I went to Radcliffe! I'm not a bimbo you can tie up and do what you want with! 786 01:05:11,530 --> 01:05:13,610 - You shut up! - I will not! 787 01:05:13,780 --> 01:05:18,940 Let me out of here! You stupid piece of... You're gonna regret this! 788 01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:24,280 I'm gonna be waiting and when I'm done with you you're gonna be singing falsetto! 789 01:05:24,460 --> 01:05:28,290 He-e-e-ere's Daddy! 790 01:05:31,050 --> 01:05:33,540 Goodbye, Junior! 791 01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:36,930 Adiosl Hasta luegol 792 01:05:38,140 --> 01:05:40,180 Sayonara! 793 01:05:41,230 --> 01:05:43,560 Yeah! 794 01:05:44,810 --> 01:05:47,690 Yes, that's very creative, Junior. 795 01:05:47,860 --> 01:05:50,610 Yeah, right on the money. 796 01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:13,420 He liked me. 797 01:06:13,590 --> 01:06:16,720 All this time he actually liked me. 798 01:06:29,020 --> 01:06:32,360 Vote for Big Ben. Here, read this. 799 01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:40,160 You can't go in. Your father's making a television appearance for his campaign. 800 01:06:41,740 --> 01:06:44,080 Dad, I gotta talk to you! 801 01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:49,590 - What are you doing? I'm about to go on air! - Florence and Junior have been kidnapped. 802 01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:51,170 Five minutes. 803 01:06:51,340 --> 01:06:53,800 - I need $100,000. - Are you insane? 804 01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:59,470 That kid is a monster and your wife is the original pain in the ass. It's for the best. 805 01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:03,260 - Are you gonna lend me the money? - No, I'm not. 806 01:07:03,430 --> 01:07:07,270 You work for me. I know what you get. You're a credit risk. 807 01:07:09,150 --> 01:07:11,230 Then I quit as your son! 808 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:15,230 Just get out of here. I got a goddamn campaign to win. 809 01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:19,660 Your campaign, the one thing you do care about. 810 01:07:20,780 --> 01:07:25,370 Why don't you tell the voters what you really plan on doing with this town? 811 01:07:25,540 --> 01:07:27,620 I don't give a rat's ass for the voters. 812 01:07:27,790 --> 01:07:32,330 - We're ready with that live feed. - All I care about is power and money. 813 01:07:33,130 --> 01:07:37,420 America for the Americansl You believe that nonsense? 814 01:07:37,590 --> 01:07:41,090 I'd sell my soul to the Japanese if they'd make me an offer. 815 01:07:41,260 --> 01:07:44,510 Don't come sucking round me if you want something. 816 01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:47,260 The only thing you'll get from me is this. 817 01:08:06,540 --> 01:08:08,790 - Hello? - You got the money? 818 01:08:09,580 --> 01:08:10,960 Yeah. 819 01:08:11,130 --> 01:08:14,420 Good. Bring it to the circus. 820 01:08:14,590 --> 01:08:17,460 I'll be waiting at the tiger cage. 821 01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:22,300 Roy! I need your car. 822 01:08:22,470 --> 01:08:25,510 - Forget it. We're going hunting. - So am I. 823 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:30,560 You can't borrow it. We're all packed up and ready to go. What are you doing? 824 01:08:30,730 --> 01:08:32,810 You're not going anywhere, buddy. 825 01:08:34,860 --> 01:08:36,520 Wait a minute. 826 01:08:36,690 --> 01:08:39,030 Great, the joke's over. Come on back. 827 01:08:39,190 --> 01:08:41,280 What do you think you're doing? 828 01:08:45,990 --> 01:08:48,400 Hey! Hey, get back here, you! 829 01:08:51,790 --> 01:08:54,080 - What is he doing? - Get back here! 830 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:58,550 Gee, I've never been to the circus before. 831 01:08:58,710 --> 01:09:02,380 - I'd sure like to try a swizzle dog. - I hate circuses. 832 01:09:02,550 --> 01:09:06,640 Nothing worse than a bunch of clowns trying to make you laugh. 833 01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:19,100 - Look, a giraffe! - Look, a fist! 834 01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:25,660 Clowns. 835 01:09:25,820 --> 01:09:28,740 Help! Help, let me out of here! 836 01:09:28,910 --> 01:09:32,660 I know you're out there! Help! 837 01:09:32,830 --> 01:09:37,130 Why isn't anybody doing anything? I know you're out there! 838 01:09:43,090 --> 01:09:45,380 Let's go see the bearded lady. 839 01:09:45,550 --> 01:09:50,220 I seen too many of them in prison. Stop bugging me or you're gonna get hurt. 840 01:09:50,390 --> 01:09:54,390 What did you say, you bow-tied freak? Let him go! 841 01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:57,440 Forget it, big daddy! 842 01:09:57,610 --> 01:10:00,520 This is my show. I'm calling the shots. 843 01:10:00,690 --> 01:10:04,820 OK, we make a switch on the count of three. 844 01:10:04,990 --> 01:10:07,480 You toss the money and I release Junior. 845 01:10:07,660 --> 01:10:09,450 Fine. 846 01:10:09,620 --> 01:10:12,160 One, two, three! 847 01:10:12,710 --> 01:10:14,790 - Hey! - Sucker! 848 01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:19,540 - Give me the boy! - Why? He wants to go with me. 849 01:10:19,710 --> 01:10:24,840 How about it, kid? We'll go on a crime spree. We'll terrorise the whole state. 850 01:10:25,010 --> 01:10:27,720 We'll eat smiley pies until we drop. 851 01:10:27,890 --> 01:10:30,290 What do you say? 852 01:10:32,100 --> 01:10:35,430 Come on, let's have some kicks. Tell-a-me. 853 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:37,350 Tell-a-me. 854 01:10:37,520 --> 01:10:39,560 Yeah, kicks, good idea. 855 01:10:45,910 --> 01:10:48,950 - I'll tear you apart! - Not while I'm around! 856 01:10:50,030 --> 01:10:52,330 Run, Junior, run! 857 01:10:52,490 --> 01:10:54,790 My money! 858 01:11:00,250 --> 01:11:02,340 Hold it! 859 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:07,850 The astounding Aslanian Family Tumblersl 860 01:11:38,210 --> 01:11:40,210 Excuse me, lady! 861 01:11:43,250 --> 01:11:45,250 Ye-es! 862 01:11:55,810 --> 01:11:58,270 I'll get you now! 863 01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:14,030 Look out below! 864 01:12:15,410 --> 01:12:18,040 - Junior, are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine, Dad. 865 01:12:19,580 --> 01:12:24,040 - You called me Dad. - Yeah, I guess I did. 866 01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:30,510 Stay away from... 867 01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:34,930 - He's getting away! - Nobody messes with the Healys! Come on! 868 01:12:37,100 --> 01:12:39,810 There he is! 869 01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:43,680 There's nothing like going for an outing with your father. 870 01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:46,820 - Look what I found! - That's Roy's. Give me that. 871 01:12:46,980 --> 01:12:49,110 Why? You can't drive and shoot. 872 01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,770 - What do we do? - I got an idea. 873 01:12:54,490 --> 01:12:57,870 - Go get him, Dad! - Faster, son, faster! 874 01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,530 Attaboy! 875 01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:03,170 Shoot out his tyres, Dad! 876 01:13:04,210 --> 01:13:06,210 Don't mess with me! 877 01:13:08,340 --> 01:13:11,020 I demand you stop this car! 878 01:13:13,430 --> 01:13:15,430 He's the wild one 879 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,470 What the hell is going on? 880 01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:20,890 - I want a divorce! - Shut up, Flo! 881 01:13:37,450 --> 01:13:39,540 Wha...! 882 01:13:41,250 --> 01:13:43,580 Stop! Hit the brakes! 883 01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,430 Now what's going on? What's that smell? 884 01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:05,690 Well, Flo always said she wanted to travel. 885 01:14:08,650 --> 01:14:12,150 - Come on, let's go home. - Move it. 886 01:14:15,450 --> 01:14:17,530 You little traitor! 887 01:14:17,700 --> 01:14:19,580 No! 888 01:14:24,670 --> 01:14:27,830 No! 889 01:14:29,920 --> 01:14:31,920 Daddy! 890 01:14:32,090 --> 01:14:36,430 Daddy, please don't go! I'm sorry for all those bad things I did! 891 01:14:36,590 --> 01:14:40,890 If you come back, I promise I'll never do anything naughty again. 892 01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:44,270 Daddy, come back! I love you! 893 01:14:46,230 --> 01:14:48,100 I love you, too, son. 894 01:14:48,270 --> 01:14:50,730 Dad? I don't believe it. 895 01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:54,070 I don't believe it either. 896 01:14:54,950 --> 01:14:57,280 - Are you gonna be OK? - Yeah. 897 01:14:59,490 --> 01:15:02,070 But the prune's had it. 898 01:15:02,750 --> 01:15:05,910 - Lay still. Ambulance is on the way. - I'll be all right. 899 01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,460 He got me in the prune. 900 01:15:09,210 --> 01:15:14,960 You're not gonna hold me to all that stupid junk I said about being nice, are you? 901 01:15:15,130 --> 01:15:19,080 Of course not. I just want you to be yourself. 902 01:15:20,180 --> 01:15:22,800 Some people never learn. 903 01:15:22,970 --> 01:15:25,220 Come on, son. 904 01:15:40,370 --> 01:15:41,820 Come on. 905 01:15:42,990 --> 01:15:47,250 Why does this guy love me? Why do parents love any kid? 906 01:15:47,410 --> 01:15:53,340 It's one of those answers we'll never know like "How high is up?", "Why is the sky blue?" 907 01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,990 and "Whatever happened to Mrs Healy?" 908 01:15:56,170 --> 01:16:01,720 - Your pig's making funny noises. - Big Miguel, he's got a bad stomach. 909 01:16:06,270 --> 01:16:08,350 Oh, my God! 910 01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:13,730 Na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na 911 01:16:13,900 --> 01:16:15,270 N- n-n- n-n-n-n-n 912 01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:19,310 Whoa-o-o-o-o 913 01:16:19,490 --> 01:16:24,700 Who wants to grow up? Who wants responsibility? 914 01:16:24,870 --> 01:16:28,250 O- o-o- e-e-e 915 01:16:29,750 --> 01:16:35,170 Who wants to show up At work until you're 93? 916 01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:38,670 Oh, no, not me 917 01:16:40,090 --> 01:16:45,140 Now, everybody says you're running wild 918 01:16:45,310 --> 01:16:50,100 Your teacher's calling you a problem child 919 01:17:01,110 --> 01:17:06,530 You're just a kid now But soon you'll be a king of hearts 920 01:17:09,750 --> 01:17:11,370 Oh, yeah 921 01:17:11,540 --> 01:17:17,500 That girl next door Might turn into a work of art 922 01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:26,470 Some people sayin'put the boy on trial 923 01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:31,990 He's guilty 'cause he's just a juvenile 924 01:17:36,570 --> 01:17:38,940 Oh, yeah 925 01:17:42,570 --> 01:17:47,240 You make us crazy You make us smile 926 01:17:47,410 --> 01:17:52,290 Some day you'll grow up, boy And you'll change your style 927 01:17:52,460 --> 01:17:57,500 First you'll be married And kids after a while 928 01:17:57,670 --> 01:18:03,380 And one of them might wanna be A problem child, yeah 929 01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:28,620 You make us crazy You make us smile 930 01:18:28,780 --> 01:18:33,790 Some day you'll grow up, boy And you'll change your style 931 01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:39,030 First you'll be married And kids after a while 932 01:18:39,210 --> 01:18:44,670 And one of them might wanna be A... Oh, baby 933 01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:50,190 Who wants to grow up? Who wants responsibility? 934 01:18:50,350 --> 01:18:53,720 O- o-o- e-e-e 935 01:18:55,230 --> 01:19:00,650 Who wants to show up At work until you're 93? 936 01:19:00,820 --> 01:19:04,150 Oh, no, not me 937 01:19:05,650 --> 01:19:10,700 Now, everybody says you're running wild 938 01:19:10,870 --> 01:19:15,700 Your teacher's calling you a problem child 939 01:19:20,500 --> 01:19:22,750 Oh, yeah 940 01:19:26,340 --> 01:19:32,880 You're just a kid now But soon you'll be a king of hearts 941 01:19:36,770 --> 01:19:43,140 That girl next door Might turn into a work of art 942 01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:51,990 Some people sayin'put the boy on trial 943 01:19:52,410 --> 01:19:57,650 He's guilty 'cause he's just a juvenile 944 01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:04,210 Oh, yeah 945 01:20:11,600 --> 01:20:13,300 Oh, yeah... 78839

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