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Previously on Kidding...
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? electronic warbling music ?
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???
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? "Don't Think Twice,
It's All Right" playing ?
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00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:33,471
???
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? Oh it ain't no use ?
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? To sit and sigh ?
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? My darling ?
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? And it ain't no use ?
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? To sit and cry now ?
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00:00:48,721 --> 00:00:51,304
? 'Tain't no use to ?
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? Sit and wonder why ?
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? Darling ?
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? Just wonder who's gonna buy
you ribbons ?
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Where's the party?
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00:01:01,679 --> 00:01:05,803
? When I'm gone ?
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00:01:05,887 --> 00:01:09,637
? Remember
what you said to me ?
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00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:12,970
? Last summer ?
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? When you see me walking ?
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? Down that road ?
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? So it ain't no use ?
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00:01:23,887 --> 00:01:28,512
? To sit and sigh
my darling ?
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? And it ain't no use ?
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? To sit and cry now ?
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00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,637
? Ain't no use ?
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00:01:38,721 --> 00:01:40,596
? To sit and wonder why ?
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To each his own.
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My last meal gonna be
a T-bone
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and some licorice rolls.
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00:01:46,262 --> 00:01:49,429
? Buy you ribbons ?
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? When I'm gone ?
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00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:56,596
???
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00:02:01,596 --> 00:02:04,387
? whimsical music ?
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???
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00:02:40,679 --> 00:02:42,803
They say time,
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00:02:42,887 --> 00:02:45,679
and space are both immutable,
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00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:49,220
governed by laws
that cannot be broken.
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00:02:49,304 --> 00:02:53,596
All I have to say to that is...
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00:02:53,679 --> 00:02:57,429
Laws were meant
to be broken,
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00:02:57,512 --> 00:03:01,012
and that's why they call me...
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00:03:01,095 --> 00:03:04,928
The amazing Pickle-ini.
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Oh!
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Outstanding.
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I am completely bamboozled
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by this master magician.
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Dad?
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00:03:17,928 --> 00:03:19,220
You're not watching.
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00:03:19,304 --> 00:03:20,679
I'm sorry, Phil.
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00:03:20,762 --> 00:03:22,637
You're right.
Uh...
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Can we take a...
brief intermission?
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00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:26,928
What's wrong, Dad?
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00:03:27,012 --> 00:03:29,928
He isn't paying attention,
again.
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00:03:30,012 --> 00:03:31,970
"My father doesn't want
to ask this,
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00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:34,095
"but it would mean
a lot to him
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00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:35,887
"if you could be there
when he passes.
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00:03:35,970 --> 00:03:38,345
His last wish was to meet you
in person."
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00:03:38,429 --> 00:03:40,970
Sorry, Jeff.
Which friend is this?
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00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:42,928
Uh, this is my pen pal,
Joey.
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The state of Ohio's
gonna execute him
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00:03:44,845 --> 00:03:46,095
day after tomorrow.
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00:03:46,179 --> 00:03:48,679
Oh, that friend.
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00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,137
Who's--who's Joey?
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00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,512
- The Wendy's Killer.
- Oh.
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00:03:52,596 --> 00:03:54,304
You know, I've been
thinking about it, and I really
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00:03:54,387 --> 00:03:56,262
- want to attend the ceremony.
- Ceremony?
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00:03:56,345 --> 00:03:59,512
What ceremony?
This is a murderer's execution.
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00:03:59,596 --> 00:04:00,928
A boy is going to watch
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00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:03,471
his father wheeled
into a death chamber.
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00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:05,845
I don't see why I can't hold
his hand when I have two
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00:04:05,928 --> 00:04:07,304
- to spare.
- I don't know, Jeff.
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00:04:07,387 --> 00:04:09,012
What if you just sit down
with the son,
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00:04:09,095 --> 00:04:11,387
or--or take the family out
for a meal?
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00:04:11,471 --> 00:04:13,679
Hey, anyone
under five feet tall,
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00:04:13,762 --> 00:04:15,471
let's go look
at stuff upstairs.
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00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:17,970
Me too, please.
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00:04:19,721 --> 00:04:21,220
If you're worried
about controversy,
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00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,137
I feel I must remind you
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00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:25,845
that in 1989,
I shared a cup of coffee
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00:04:25,928 --> 00:04:27,887
with an HIV-positive
individual,
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00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:29,220
and that show won
a Peabody Award.
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00:04:29,304 --> 00:04:30,220
This isn't fighting
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00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,679
for social justice.
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00:04:31,762 --> 00:04:33,137
They wouldn't round the corners
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00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,012
on this guy's
bacon cheeseburger,
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00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:36,679
and he killed
three redheaded women
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00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:38,512
- with a hammer.
- Four.
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00:04:38,596 --> 00:04:39,471
Phil.
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Three were with hammers.
89
00:04:40,721 --> 00:04:42,053
One was pure strength.
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00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:44,845
The hammer was a myth.
It was a wrench.
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00:04:44,928 --> 00:04:46,637
Can you please stop cataloguing
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00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,637
the nation's homicides
in your spare time?
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00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:50,721
It's teaching me
how to spreadsheet.
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00:04:50,803 --> 00:04:52,512
When are you leaving?
95
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,471
Why?
You want to go to Belize?
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00:04:55,803 --> 00:04:57,429
I'm not being serious.
97
00:04:57,512 --> 00:05:00,679
Why don't you just write
a check, like Dad or Poppy?
98
00:05:00,762 --> 00:05:03,803
Anybody
can stuff money in an envelope.
99
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,179
I really--I wanted
to build a school for girls.
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00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:09,012
So now, every time I go,
they know my name,
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00:05:09,095 --> 00:05:12,179
and it's just the most
fulfilling week I have.
102
00:05:12,262 --> 00:05:15,262
So the Indica School for Girls
was your dream?
103
00:05:15,345 --> 00:05:16,928
You could say that.
104
00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:20,554
So this is a girl
called Julietta.
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00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:22,179
She's 14 here, but
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00:05:22,262 --> 00:05:24,637
when I met her,
she was three.
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00:05:24,721 --> 00:05:26,179
She didn't even own pants.
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00:05:26,262 --> 00:05:28,803
She had holes cut
into a Doritos bag.
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00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:30,512
So now, every time I see her,
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00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:32,137
we go shopping.
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00:05:32,220 --> 00:05:34,179
You're impressive
and inspiring.
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00:05:35,262 --> 00:05:36,220
She is.
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???
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00:05:38,053 --> 00:05:39,596
What if I just slip in,
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00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:41,345
you know,
through the back door?
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00:05:41,429 --> 00:05:43,095
No one would ever
have to notice.
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00:05:43,179 --> 00:05:44,928
I know you want to support
your friend,
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00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,345
but some friends murder
and don't deserve support.
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00:05:47,429 --> 00:05:49,970
People murder because
they've never had support.
120
00:05:50,053 --> 00:05:52,012
Lethal injection is wrong.
121
00:05:52,095 --> 00:05:53,803
Isn't that what we believe?
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00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,304
Can I go to the execution?
123
00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:57,762
- No, kiddo, you can't.
- Please stop asking.
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00:05:57,845 --> 00:05:59,970
Honey, I know you want to
be there,
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00:06:00,053 --> 00:06:01,721
but victims' families
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00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:03,762
attend these things,
so if you go,
127
00:06:03,845 --> 00:06:05,721
you'll have to sit
next to them.
128
00:06:05,803 --> 00:06:07,179
You'll have to make
eye contact with them.
129
00:06:07,262 --> 00:06:08,512
Are you sure
you can do that?
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00:06:08,596 --> 00:06:11,053
I don't know.
131
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,721
I think so.
132
00:06:13,803 --> 00:06:15,970
I believe in forgiveness.
133
00:06:16,053 --> 00:06:18,053
Give this decision
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00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:20,137
some thought, hm?
135
00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:22,679
Not everyone needs a friend.
136
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,803
I'm sorry I didn't
pay attention
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00:06:28,887 --> 00:06:30,762
to your magic trick.
138
00:06:30,845 --> 00:06:32,179
Okay.
139
00:06:32,262 --> 00:06:33,721
Night.
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00:06:38,762 --> 00:06:41,137
Will?
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00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:42,554
What are you looking for?
142
00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:45,721
Oh, uh, my, uh,
winter clothes.
143
00:06:45,803 --> 00:06:48,554
For what purpose do you need
your winter clothes?
144
00:06:48,637 --> 00:06:49,679
I, uh--I want to collect
the ones
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00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:51,012
that don't fit me as well
146
00:06:51,095 --> 00:06:52,845
and donate them
to the indigent.
147
00:06:52,928 --> 00:06:54,429
That's very thoughtful.
148
00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:56,137
Thanks.
149
00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,262
Hey, want to come down
to the kitchen?
150
00:06:58,345 --> 00:07:00,345
I got something
I want to show you.
151
00:07:00,429 --> 00:07:02,554
Okay.
152
00:07:05,179 --> 00:07:06,220
Say when.
153
00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:07,970
Oh, when.
When.
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00:07:10,803 --> 00:07:12,554
Mm.
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00:07:12,637 --> 00:07:14,262
Shh.
156
00:07:20,762 --> 00:07:22,512
Now,
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00:07:22,596 --> 00:07:24,679
as you know,
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00:07:24,762 --> 00:07:26,970
this is the season
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00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,596
for Pickles family giving.
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00:07:29,679 --> 00:07:30,512
Mm-hm.
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00:07:30,596 --> 00:07:31,762
So,
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00:07:31,845 --> 00:07:36,679
I am going to give this to you
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00:07:36,762 --> 00:07:38,845
and you get to decide
where it goes.
164
00:07:40,179 --> 00:07:41,554
Really?
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00:07:41,637 --> 00:07:43,429
Any cause you want.
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00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:46,429
? whimsical music ?
167
00:07:46,512 --> 00:07:50,137
???
168
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,887
Hi.
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00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,554
You're in anesthesiology,
right?
170
00:07:53,637 --> 00:07:55,845
That's me.
Peter.
171
00:07:55,928 --> 00:07:57,512
The difference between life
and death.
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00:07:57,596 --> 00:07:59,845
I have a burning question.
173
00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:02,637
I'm curious if the drugs used
to lethally inject prisoners
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00:08:02,721 --> 00:08:04,387
are painful or not.
175
00:08:04,471 --> 00:08:06,554
Well, the only people
that can answer that are dead.
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00:08:06,637 --> 00:08:08,095
Right.
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00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:10,179
And standing right
in front of you.
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00:08:10,262 --> 00:08:12,471
Sorry, bad--right.
179
00:08:12,554 --> 00:08:15,095
Think of it as a three-pronged
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00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:16,429
cocktail, right?
181
00:08:16,512 --> 00:08:18,387
First is potassium chloride.
182
00:08:18,471 --> 00:08:20,095
That's the bad stuff.
Imagine getting antifreeze
183
00:08:20,179 --> 00:08:21,970
shot into your arm.
184
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:23,596
Second is thiopental.
185
00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:24,887
That's a barbiturate
that's supposed
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00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:26,928
to kill the pain.
187
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:30,095
But it's short-acting.
It can wear off pretty fast.
188
00:08:30,179 --> 00:08:33,679
Finally, uh, you have
pancuronium bromide.
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00:08:33,803 --> 00:08:34,970
That's a paralytic agent.
190
00:08:35,053 --> 00:08:37,803
The problem is, uh,
191
00:08:37,887 --> 00:08:39,429
we don't know
if the poor fellow's feeling
192
00:08:39,512 --> 00:08:41,721
any discomfort, 'cause...
193
00:08:41,803 --> 00:08:43,471
he's been rendered paralyzed
by now, right.
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00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:46,179
I can't believe
all that's legal.
195
00:08:46,262 --> 00:08:48,679
Are you thinking
of putting someone to death?
196
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,095
Not anymore.
197
00:08:51,179 --> 00:08:52,970
Anything else
I can help you with?
198
00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:54,845
No.
199
00:08:54,928 --> 00:08:56,429
That covers it.
200
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:58,970
See you around.
201
00:08:59,053 --> 00:09:01,721
Hm.
202
00:09:01,803 --> 00:09:03,471
Hey, what's your name?
203
00:09:10,596 --> 00:09:12,053
You're right.
204
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:15,387
I don't want to wade
into controversy.
205
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,845
I don't want to make the end
of that man's life about me,
206
00:09:17,928 --> 00:09:19,387
or about us.
207
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,095
You're making
the better choice.
208
00:09:21,179 --> 00:09:22,803
I do want to send
209
00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:25,512
his son the letters
that he's written to me
210
00:09:25,596 --> 00:09:27,137
over the years.
They're increasingly eloquent.
211
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,762
He deserves to have them.
212
00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:29,803
They're in the drawer.
213
00:09:29,887 --> 00:09:32,304
Oh, not this one.
214
00:09:32,387 --> 00:09:33,762
That one.
215
00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:37,095
This one's for
non-prison pen pals.
216
00:09:37,179 --> 00:09:40,053
? quiet uneasy music ?
217
00:09:40,137 --> 00:09:45,304
???
218
00:09:45,928 --> 00:09:48,345
Yo, Derrell, have you had
your break today?
219
00:09:48,429 --> 00:09:52,137
That's McDonald's.
220
00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:56,596
???
221
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,928
Gina says she's not coming
to see Dad.
222
00:09:59,012 --> 00:10:00,762
Her own brother?
Why?
223
00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:03,471
- Mom, Mr. Pickles wrote back?
- Uh-huh.
224
00:10:03,554 --> 00:10:05,637
- What'd he say?
- He's not coming.
225
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,179
He sent back all the letters
your daddy sent him.
226
00:10:07,262 --> 00:10:09,012
Guess he don't want them
no more.
227
00:10:09,095 --> 00:10:10,928
He invited us to dinner.
Some Chinese restaurant,
228
00:10:11,012 --> 00:10:12,762
- though.
- I hate Chinese.
229
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,262
Told you not to get
your hopes up high.
230
00:10:14,345 --> 00:10:15,387
That's where your daddy
fucked up.
231
00:10:15,471 --> 00:10:17,512
He's still my dad.
232
00:10:17,596 --> 00:10:20,262
And here's what you won.
Chicken lo mein.
233
00:10:20,345 --> 00:10:21,304
Well, maybe if we just
tell him--
234
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,220
Tell him what?
Your father
235
00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:25,137
killed four white women
with red hair.
236
00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:26,970
That's a credit score of 8,000.
Tell him what?
237
00:10:27,053 --> 00:10:28,220
Tell him why.
238
00:10:28,304 --> 00:10:29,429
Ah, Derrell, they don't care
239
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:30,596
why he did it.
He did it.
240
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:32,137
Now come on.
241
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,554
Mama needs your help.
242
00:10:33,637 --> 00:10:34,596
Here.
243
00:10:39,928 --> 00:10:42,220
This is
for BlackPeopleMeet.
244
00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:50,637
He's over there.
245
00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:52,471
Oh.
246
00:10:52,554 --> 00:10:54,512
Sorry, Will.
247
00:10:57,012 --> 00:10:58,304
Yo, Phil.
248
00:10:58,387 --> 00:10:59,679
What's it like, having a dad
249
00:10:59,762 --> 00:11:00,721
who's a psychic pedophile?
250
00:11:00,803 --> 00:11:03,262
Do you mean psychotic?
251
00:11:03,345 --> 00:11:05,845
I mean he's a pedophile
who molests children,
252
00:11:05,928 --> 00:11:07,762
but can see into the future
and knows he won't get caught.
253
00:11:07,845 --> 00:11:11,928
Oh, you do mean psychic.
254
00:11:13,512 --> 00:11:16,095
Ask your dad
if he saw that coming.
255
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:21,554
Here.
256
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:22,762
Your nose is bleeding.
257
00:11:22,845 --> 00:11:25,345
My sorrys.
258
00:11:25,429 --> 00:11:28,345
Thanks.
259
00:11:28,429 --> 00:11:30,345
We're suspending
Phil for three days.
260
00:11:30,429 --> 00:11:32,471
I hear the other kid
started it.
261
00:11:32,554 --> 00:11:35,471
Three days
sounds appropriate.
262
00:11:35,554 --> 00:11:38,471
? somber music ?
263
00:11:38,554 --> 00:11:40,637
???
264
00:11:40,721 --> 00:11:41,803
- Come on, honey.
- I told you,
265
00:11:41,887 --> 00:11:43,262
he wasn't calling me names.
266
00:11:43,345 --> 00:11:44,304
He was calling you names.
267
00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:45,762
Well, if I hit someone
268
00:11:45,845 --> 00:11:48,137
every time they called me
a kiddy creep,
269
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,012
you'd be visiting me
on death row.
270
00:11:50,095 --> 00:11:51,928
I was trying to defend you.
271
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,429
PB and J are ready
to teach about opposites.
272
00:11:54,512 --> 00:11:55,803
Wow, look at that.
273
00:11:55,887 --> 00:11:57,596
Oh.
274
00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,387
I... can't talk with...
275
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,845
peanut butter in my mouth.
276
00:12:02,928 --> 00:12:04,679
Hey, kiddo.
277
00:12:04,762 --> 00:12:07,137
That's my new book.
Comes out next year.
278
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:08,721
I earmarked a chapter for you.
279
00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:10,220
I want you to read it.
280
00:12:10,304 --> 00:12:12,053
Read it carefully.
281
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:13,887
Okay?
282
00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,721
Hey...
283
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:22,095
Will said something to me
about you giving him $100,000.
284
00:12:22,179 --> 00:12:23,554
Oh, yeah.
285
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,304
So, Phil,
286
00:12:26,387 --> 00:12:27,803
you got a girlfriend yet?
287
00:12:27,887 --> 00:12:30,262
I'm 12.
288
00:12:30,345 --> 00:12:32,304
Well, you know,
the first girl
289
00:12:32,387 --> 00:12:34,012
that I ever had
a crush on--
290
00:12:34,095 --> 00:12:36,637
her name was Cookie,
291
00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:39,637
and I wanted to kiss her
so bad, it hurt,
292
00:12:39,721 --> 00:12:42,095
but I didn't want
to tip my hand.
293
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,304
One day, I read
a fortune cookie, and it said,
294
00:12:45,387 --> 00:12:47,304
"Something delicious
is gonna happen to you"--
295
00:12:47,387 --> 00:12:49,179
I'm paraphrasing,
but it was a sign,
296
00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:51,679
so I wrote her name
on the back of the fortune,
297
00:12:51,762 --> 00:12:54,095
and that was all it took.
298
00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:55,970
I dated her
all through the sixth grade
299
00:12:56,053 --> 00:12:57,679
and then again in the Navy.
300
00:12:57,762 --> 00:13:00,095
What was middle school
like for you?
301
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,554
They organized us by height,
and then they let
302
00:13:02,637 --> 00:13:04,095
the tallest one
teach the class.
303
00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:09,012
You should try out for lacrosse
304
00:13:09,095 --> 00:13:10,928
and get out
some of that aggression.
305
00:13:11,012 --> 00:13:14,596
I want to, but Dad won't let us
play contact sports.
306
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:16,554
He'll only let us play
Little League.
307
00:13:16,637 --> 00:13:18,345
Baseball can be
a contact sport too.
308
00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:21,637
Just slide with the spikes up.
309
00:13:21,721 --> 00:13:24,137
The Honeybee Conservancy.
310
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,345
"Imagine a world
311
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,429
"without food or flowers.
312
00:13:27,512 --> 00:13:30,262
"We are a nonprofit that works
to sustain bee colonies
313
00:13:30,345 --> 00:13:31,762
"and ensure the future
314
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,179
of our most precious
pollinators."
315
00:13:33,262 --> 00:13:35,345
Ah, I'm so proud of you.
316
00:13:35,429 --> 00:13:36,803
This is so important.
317
00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:38,429
Well, right now,
I'm just donating,
318
00:13:38,512 --> 00:13:40,887
but when I get older,
I wanna
319
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:43,429
get my hands dirty,
like Aunt Deirdre does.
320
00:13:43,512 --> 00:13:46,471
? lively Spanish music ?
321
00:13:46,554 --> 00:13:51,637
???
322
00:13:55,387 --> 00:13:57,471
- Hi.
- Hi.
323
00:13:57,554 --> 00:13:59,637
Miss Piccirillo, welcome back.
324
00:13:59,721 --> 00:14:01,387
Looks like we have you
for seven days
325
00:14:01,471 --> 00:14:03,304
in the Queen Victoria suite.
326
00:14:03,387 --> 00:14:06,012
Thank you, Julietta.
327
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,512
I'm sorry.
No hablo.
328
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,928
Oh, I'm just asking
if you want
329
00:14:10,012 --> 00:14:11,471
indica or sativa.
330
00:14:11,554 --> 00:14:12,512
Oh...
331
00:14:12,596 --> 00:14:17,762
???
332
00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:26,471
???
333
00:14:26,554 --> 00:14:29,471
I can't get up.
334
00:14:29,554 --> 00:14:30,762
???
335
00:14:30,845 --> 00:14:32,179
Belize!
336
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,512
? tranquil music ?
337
00:14:51,596 --> 00:14:56,721
???
338
00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:51,554
Enjoy.
339
00:15:51,637 --> 00:15:53,053
Mr. Pickles,
340
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:55,887
- please, enjoy.
- Thank you.
341
00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,970
Thank you.
342
00:15:58,053 --> 00:16:00,220
Before we enjoy
this delicious meal
343
00:16:00,304 --> 00:16:01,220
with our new friends
344
00:16:01,304 --> 00:16:03,053
Derrell and Latrice,
345
00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:05,137
I--Phil.
346
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,762
Please?
347
00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:11,179
I'd like to say that
348
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:12,887
sometimes,
349
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:14,928
it takes
a terrible circumstance
350
00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:16,596
to bring good people together,
351
00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:18,679
and I would like to tell
352
00:16:18,762 --> 00:16:20,512
the both of you that
353
00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:23,803
the Pickles family
is your family.
354
00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:29,220
All right.
355
00:16:29,304 --> 00:16:31,053
So Darryl, how old were you
356
00:16:31,137 --> 00:16:33,345
when you started watching
Puppet Time with your dad?
357
00:16:33,429 --> 00:16:35,220
It's Derrell.
358
00:16:35,304 --> 00:16:36,887
Oh, okay.
359
00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:38,637
He never seen
Puppet Place,
360
00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:39,803
or--or whatever.
361
00:16:39,887 --> 00:16:41,387
His dad never seen it, either.
362
00:16:41,471 --> 00:16:42,970
Oh.
363
00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:45,220
But he liked
hearing about it,
364
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,262
and he liked talking
with you, Jeffrey.
365
00:16:47,345 --> 00:16:49,471
You really think
you can't go, huh?
366
00:16:49,554 --> 00:16:51,179
Well, it's not a matter of--
367
00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:53,803
Thank you so much
for understanding.
368
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,429
This kung pao looks spicy!
369
00:16:56,512 --> 00:16:59,762
Mm.
370
00:16:59,845 --> 00:17:02,637
I'm really glad you're with us,
Derrell, and it's nice--
371
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:04,053
What's it like, being the son
of a mass murderer?
372
00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:05,012
Phil!
373
00:17:05,095 --> 00:17:05,970
What?
374
00:17:06,053 --> 00:17:07,554
You said ask good questions.
375
00:17:07,637 --> 00:17:09,387
Where are the bodies buried?
376
00:17:09,471 --> 00:17:11,053
Has he seen the meme
of his dad
377
00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:13,012
wearing parachute pants
with the caption saying
378
00:17:13,095 --> 00:17:14,012
"It's hammer time"?
379
00:17:14,095 --> 00:17:15,345
Philip...
380
00:17:15,429 --> 00:17:16,887
It's--
hey, it's all right.
381
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,554
It's all good.
382
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,179
He was a real good artist.
383
00:17:21,262 --> 00:17:23,596
He could've been a cartoonist
for The New Yorker.
384
00:17:23,679 --> 00:17:25,512
Instead, he was
a high school dropout
385
00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:27,596
and an unlicensed mechanic.
386
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,304
One day,
a man came into the shop,
387
00:17:29,387 --> 00:17:31,803
noticed my dad could draw.
His name was Arnie.
388
00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:34,220
He was a reporter
for The Columbus Tribune.
389
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:37,471
Said Pops might have a shot
freelancing for them.
390
00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:39,596
Pops waited by the phone
for six months,
391
00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,679
but never got a call.
392
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:43,512
He was 23,
393
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,429
married, with a kid,
394
00:17:45,512 --> 00:17:48,762
and a busload
of parking tickets.
395
00:17:48,845 --> 00:17:51,095
The tickets piled up.
396
00:17:51,179 --> 00:17:53,803
It was like, what,
$3,000 to get the car back.
397
00:17:53,887 --> 00:17:55,887
No one in my family's ever had
398
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:58,637
more than $1,000
to their name at any one time.
399
00:17:58,721 --> 00:18:00,012
You know, my dad goes to court,
400
00:18:00,095 --> 00:18:02,262
tries to fight it, loses,
401
00:18:02,345 --> 00:18:05,471
and then, on his way out,
402
00:18:05,554 --> 00:18:07,429
guess who he runs into?
403
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:09,387
Arnie.
404
00:18:09,471 --> 00:18:11,596
Asked my dad, "Hey,
405
00:18:11,679 --> 00:18:13,845
why didn't you follow up?"
406
00:18:13,928 --> 00:18:17,679
How was my dad supposed to know
that following up was a thing?
407
00:18:17,803 --> 00:18:19,928
Dad gets on the bus,
and he
408
00:18:20,012 --> 00:18:22,887
gets out at Wendy's
to have a hot meal.
409
00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:25,596
? somber music ?
410
00:18:25,679 --> 00:18:28,179
He saw those corners
on that bacon cheeseburger,
411
00:18:28,262 --> 00:18:30,679
and he didn't want corners
on his cheeseburger.
412
00:18:30,762 --> 00:18:33,970
He just wanted a normal,
round hamburger.
413
00:18:34,053 --> 00:18:36,471
But she wouldn't give him
a normal hamburger.
414
00:18:36,554 --> 00:18:40,887
And he just snapped, man.
You feel me?
415
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,803
We don't live how you live,
416
00:18:42,887 --> 00:18:45,262
so we don't know
what you know,
417
00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,512
so we can't move
how you move
418
00:18:47,596 --> 00:18:51,137
to get what you got.
419
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:54,887
And all my dad wanted to hear
before he go
420
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:57,887
was that you think
he can draw good.
421
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,387
Draw well.
422
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,345
Come here.
423
00:19:01,429 --> 00:19:04,387
You're hurting my arm.
424
00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:07,887
That boy has every reason
to ask
425
00:19:07,970 --> 00:19:09,637
for everything,
and doesn't.
426
00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:11,637
You have no reason
to ask for anything,
427
00:19:11,721 --> 00:19:12,845
and you can't keep
your mouth shut.
428
00:19:12,928 --> 00:19:14,887
Learn how to keep
your mouth shut.
429
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:16,637
You hear me?
430
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,137
So I talked to a colleague
431
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:43,970
about the lethal injection
drugs they use,
432
00:19:44,053 --> 00:19:45,679
and it turns out,
they're painless.
433
00:19:45,762 --> 00:19:50,928
???
434
00:19:54,637 --> 00:19:57,512
? somber music ?
435
00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:02,762
???
436
00:20:41,262 --> 00:20:42,554
That's because you don't see
who he is.
437
00:20:42,637 --> 00:20:44,721
You just see who you want
him to be.
438
00:20:44,803 --> 00:20:46,928
I just want him to be
a normal kid who listens.
439
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,095
How's he supposed to listen
when you're screaming at him?
440
00:20:49,179 --> 00:20:50,803
That was not screaming.
441
00:20:50,887 --> 00:20:52,679
He doesn't listen
because you don't listen.
442
00:20:52,762 --> 00:20:54,262
I listen all the time!
443
00:20:54,345 --> 00:20:55,970
And I think that you don't
listen because if you...
444
00:20:56,053 --> 00:20:57,679
I am
incredibly interested
445
00:20:57,762 --> 00:20:58,762
in everything
that happens to our children.
446
00:20:58,845 --> 00:21:01,179
Sometimes, it's hard
to be him.
447
00:21:01,262 --> 00:21:05,512
Remember who his father is.
448
00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:13,053
Now's the time
to ask me something,
449
00:21:13,137 --> 00:21:15,179
if you got something to ask.
450
00:21:17,137 --> 00:21:19,012
Why Jeff Pickles?
451
00:21:23,471 --> 00:21:26,512
Ten years ago, I wrote letters
to three people:
452
00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:30,304
Bill Clinton, Charles Barkley,
and Jeff Pickles.
453
00:21:30,387 --> 00:21:32,512
Only Jeff Pickles
wrote me back.
454
00:21:36,137 --> 00:21:39,637
Sometimes, the characters
write to me.
455
00:21:39,721 --> 00:21:41,512
The fly is my favorite.
456
00:21:43,721 --> 00:21:46,012
Flies eat shit.
457
00:21:46,095 --> 00:21:48,095
He eat shit
every day of his life
458
00:21:48,179 --> 00:21:50,429
and still finds a reason
to be happy.
459
00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:56,345
You think Jeff's gonna make it?
460
00:21:56,429 --> 00:21:58,095
Yeah, probably.
461
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,095
I don't know.
462
00:22:03,179 --> 00:22:07,179
Well, we both know
I'm not going to heaven,
463
00:22:07,262 --> 00:22:11,137
but sometimes,
I think that... if I'm lucky...
464
00:22:12,596 --> 00:22:15,554
I might end up
in Pickle Barrel Falls.
465
00:22:15,637 --> 00:22:17,345
Way Jeff describes it,
466
00:22:17,429 --> 00:22:19,471
sounds like a nice place
to live.
467
00:22:39,512 --> 00:22:42,179
Excuse me.
468
00:22:48,471 --> 00:22:50,179
Is Derrell here?
469
00:22:57,887 --> 00:23:00,803
? somber music ?
470
00:23:00,887 --> 00:23:06,095
???
471
00:23:07,637 --> 00:23:09,845
He's being asked
for his last words.
472
00:23:09,928 --> 00:23:12,262
???
473
00:23:12,345 --> 00:23:14,053
Will we get to hear them?
474
00:23:14,137 --> 00:23:17,179
Normally,
there's a microphone,
475
00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:18,679
but it's broken.
476
00:23:18,762 --> 00:23:23,679
???
477
00:23:25,970 --> 00:23:31,053
???
478
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:03,345
???
479
00:24:28,679 --> 00:24:30,928
Mind if I join you?
480
00:24:44,637 --> 00:24:48,471
We can talk, or... eat.
481
00:24:50,928 --> 00:24:53,053
None of those things...
482
00:24:55,053 --> 00:24:58,179
The boss says
whatever dish you order,
483
00:24:58,262 --> 00:25:00,596
he's gonna name it
after you.
484
00:25:00,679 --> 00:25:02,471
Well,
485
00:25:02,554 --> 00:25:06,679
that's a pickle for a Pickle.
486
00:25:06,762 --> 00:25:09,095
I really want
franks and beans, but...
487
00:25:09,179 --> 00:25:11,387
I guess if kids order that,
488
00:25:11,471 --> 00:25:14,137
it's not a very healthy choice.
489
00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:17,554
I guess I'll have a salad.
490
00:25:17,637 --> 00:25:19,471
You don't want anything?
491
00:25:29,095 --> 00:25:31,137
Did he--
492
00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:34,095
did he have, like, last words?
493
00:25:35,554 --> 00:25:39,637
I couldn't hear him
through the glass.
494
00:25:39,721 --> 00:25:42,345
It looked like he said
"I can't wait."
495
00:25:44,095 --> 00:25:46,554
I don't know
what that meant.
496
00:25:46,637 --> 00:25:48,554
Maybe you do.
497
00:25:48,637 --> 00:25:49,845
Yeah.
498
00:25:49,928 --> 00:25:51,679
I do.
499
00:25:58,928 --> 00:26:01,053
Thank you for going.
500
00:26:03,429 --> 00:26:06,304
It really meant
a lot to him.
501
00:26:06,387 --> 00:26:08,679
He didn't have a lot
of friends.
502
00:26:12,512 --> 00:26:15,512
What do you think
makes people snap like that?
503
00:26:15,596 --> 00:26:18,721
Like he did?
504
00:26:18,803 --> 00:26:21,887
Everyone has a breaking point.
505
00:26:23,512 --> 00:26:25,179
Yeah.
506
00:26:25,262 --> 00:26:27,554
I feel you.
507
00:26:30,970 --> 00:26:33,137
I'm sorry.
508
00:26:33,220 --> 00:26:35,679
I didn't want to be there.
509
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:39,637
Derrell,
510
00:26:39,721 --> 00:26:41,845
where do you want to be?
511
00:26:41,928 --> 00:26:44,803
? warbling electronic music ?
512
00:26:48,429 --> 00:26:49,803
???
513
00:26:49,887 --> 00:26:51,637
Whoa.
514
00:26:51,721 --> 00:26:54,012
- That's Launch Pad Lake.
- Mm-hm.
515
00:26:54,095 --> 00:26:55,345
Can I touch the rocket?
516
00:26:55,429 --> 00:26:56,721
Yeah, but don't push
the red button.
517
00:26:56,803 --> 00:26:58,095
We just had the roof fixed.
518
00:26:58,179 --> 00:26:59,304
- You serious?
- Derrell.
519
00:26:59,387 --> 00:27:00,596
How do you do?
520
00:27:00,679 --> 00:27:02,053
How do you do?
521
00:27:02,137 --> 00:27:04,429
My name
is Sebastiano Piccirillo,
522
00:27:04,512 --> 00:27:06,262
but everybody calls me
Seb Pickles.
523
00:27:06,345 --> 00:27:07,803
Nice to meet you,
Mr. Pickles.
524
00:27:07,887 --> 00:27:09,429
They call him other stuff too.
525
00:27:09,512 --> 00:27:10,887
You're fired.
526
00:27:10,970 --> 00:27:13,512
I'm gonna go push
the red button.
527
00:27:13,596 --> 00:27:15,262
Come on, Phil.
Smile.
528
00:27:15,345 --> 00:27:20,554
???
529
00:27:28,554 --> 00:27:31,304
Throw home! Throw home!
530
00:27:31,387 --> 00:27:32,721
Phil, don't!
531
00:27:32,803 --> 00:27:37,637
???
532
00:27:50,554 --> 00:27:53,262
Put your seat belt on.
533
00:27:53,345 --> 00:27:57,554
???
534
00:27:57,637 --> 00:27:59,012
Seat belt!
535
00:27:59,095 --> 00:28:01,262
It's on!
536
00:28:01,345 --> 00:28:03,928
???
537
00:28:06,596 --> 00:28:08,012
???
538
00:28:08,095 --> 00:28:09,637
Mr. Pickles' Puppet Time.
539
00:28:09,721 --> 00:28:11,596
How can I help you?
540
00:28:11,679 --> 00:28:16,512
???
541
00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:19,596
Please hold.
542
00:28:19,679 --> 00:28:23,053
???
543
00:28:37,637 --> 00:28:40,596
Come on.
Let me take you home.
35779
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