All language subtitles for Glee.S02E18.720p.BluRay.X264-REWARD_track3_eng [SubtitleTools.com]

Here's what you missed.

Glee Club's getting ready for nationals.
Quinn's getting ready to be prom queen.

We need to get elected
for prom king and queen.
It's the ultimate status symbol.

Kurt had to leave McKinley
because Karofksy threatened him.

I can't expel a kid for shoving.
He'll just say,
"I didn't mean to shove that kid.

I tripped."
The excuse works like a charm.
I use it all the time.

At least he's got Blaine and the Warblers,
who just lost at regionals
to the New Directions.

We got each other out of all this.

That beats a lousy trophy,
don't you think?

Santana's got it bad for Brittany.

This relationship
is really confusing for me.

Breakfast is confusing for you.

Well, sometimes it's sweet
and sometimes it's salty.

What if I have eggs for dinner?
Then what is it?

And Will's sort of always
had it bad for Emma,
but lately she's gotten super crazy...

with the cleaning fruit.
I'm not following.

Like seriously crazy.

One day you're gonna find
a way to beat this thing.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

All right, guys,
nationals are just a few weeks away,
and it's time to bear down.

Your singing at regionals was amazing,
but your dancing...

- It's booty camp time.
- Booty!

Let's get it going.
A'five, six, seven, eight.

Push yourselves, guys.
Vocal Adrenaline takes no prisoners.

Oh!
Oh!

I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

I'm bleeding.
Let's get you
to a doctor.

My dads will be here in 15 minutes.

You don't have to stay, Finn.

No. I wanna wait and hear
what the doctor says. I feel terrible.

Won't Quinn be mad at you
sitting vigil at my bedside?

Well, I'm standing.
And she'd understand how awful I feel...

even if it's not broken.
It's broken.

Well, I knew I was a bad dancer,

but I never thought
my dancing was dangerous.
It's a clean break.

So I won't have to set it.

Considering
your deviated septum,

I'd consider this a terrific opportunity
for a little vanity adjustment.

Are you suggesting
that I get a nose job?
You're 16, right?

That's when I gave
my daughters theirs.

It's like a rite of passage
for Jewish girls.

Oh... First of all, I like how I look.

- She your girlfriend?
- No.

What does
your girlfriend look like?

Okay, and second of all, I don't wanna do
anything that's going to affect my voice.

My Broadway career depends on it.

We got a big show choir
competition coming up,
and Rachel's our best singer.

Doesn't impact the voice.
That's just a myth.

The fact is,
opening up that septum...

might allow you to take in
more air per breath...

which means bigger belts
on your high notes.

But... Barbra...

Is great.

She's also one in a million.

The fact is,
if you really wanna be an actress,

you might wanna consider looking
and sounding the best that you can.

I got an appointment open
next week.

Can I sign you up?

Oh, my God. You're getting a nose job.

I'm considering
having a minor procedure
to repair my deviated septum.

So a nose job.

Look, I'm happy
with the way that I look, okay?

And I've embraced my nose.

But let's say I wanted to have
a slightly more demure nose?

Like Quinn's, for example.

I would never change
my appearance for vanity,

but the doctor said that it could
possibly improve my talent...

which would help us all
for nationals, so...

Possibly. What about the risks?

Your voice is amazing as is, Rachel.

Hold up. Could we all
just get real here for a second?

I hear that Rachel's got
a bit of a schnoz.

I mean, I wouldn't know,
because like Medusa,
I try to avoid eye contact with her.

But can we all just stop lying
about how there aren't things...

that we wouldn't change about ourselves?

I'm sure that Sam's
been at the doctor's office...

and rifled through pamphlets
on mouth reduction.

I'll bet Artie's thought
about getting his legs removed
since he's not using them anyways.

And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked
into getting an eye de-slanting.

That's extraordinarily racist.
I'm keeping it real.

Sorry, Santana. I'm a beautiful person.

I'm in love with myself,
and I would never change a thing.

Is that why you're
wearing blue contacts today, Tina?

Self-hating Asian.

Not many Asian sex symbols, Mike.

I'm just trying to be in fashion
and mirror what I see in the magazines.

My dancing kind of bothers me.

Uh, and it almost killed Rachel,
but I like the way I look.

Oh, please.
You have weird, puffy, pyramid nipples.

They look like
they're filled with custard.

You could dust them
with powdered sugar,

and they could pass
for some sort of dessert.

Look, maybe Rachel's fine
with having an enormous beak.

Maybe she needs it
to crack hard seeds.

All I'm saying is that
if you look in the mirror...

and you don't like what you see,
you should change it.

Whoa. Guys. I'm really shocked
at what I'm hearing here.

It goes against everything
the Glee Club stands for.

I'm telling you, the thing you'd most
like to change about yourself...

is the most interesting part of you.

Well, maybe, but at this school,

the thing that makes you different
is the thing people use to crush your spirit.

Rachel's a beautiful girl.
She doesn't need a nose job.

Saying that she's doing it to enrich
her talent is just a convenient excuse...

to deal with the fact
that she's insecure about how she looks.

Most of the adults we know
have trouble embracing their eccentricities.

- So how can we expect kids to?
- Then it should be our job to help them.

I don't want my legacy as a teacher...

to be conjugated verbs
and Glee Club trophies.

I wanna help them love themselves
for who they are... warts and all.

Especially warts.

How long do we have
to do this for?
Until they're all clean.

I'm really enjoying
helping you with your O.C. D.

I really don't like that term. Really.

It sounds way too scientific
and serious.

I really prefer "neat freak"
or "cleaning bug."

But what I really have to tell you,

I'm so appreciative of all your help.

Really.
I have so much more free time...

now that there are four hands
polishing all of my fruit.

I'm really glad.

But shouldn't we be figuring out
some techniques you can use...

to eat your food without scrubbing it?

You mean with germs
and pesticides all over it?

No. I mean, really deal
with your issues on this stuff.

Will, I've tried.

You know,
I may not have been born this way,

but this is my lot in life.

There's nothing I can do about it.

Thank you.
What for?

I know how I'm gonna get the kids
to accept what their differences are...

by using their two favorite teachers,

me and Gaga.

But I'm gonna need your help.

I should be prom queen at this school.

If I were prom queen, I could get Brittany
to drop the four-eyed loser...

and go for the real queen.

She's so gullible,
I could convince her that by royal decree,

I'd made her being with me
the law of the land.

But that's never gonna happen.
I don't have the votes.

Unless I could get the jock bloc.

Jack Ryan, you've just
boarded the Red October.

Sean Connery.

And God knows Sam doesn't have
the heat at this school yet.

Hold on. There's someone at this school...

who just might have the juice...

Dave Karofksy.

Holy crap.

I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch,
which means one thing:

I have awesome gaydar.

You haven't asked us anything
about our New York trip.

Is it because it's too painful?

Yes, as a matter of fact.

But while the New Directions
are preparing to perform at nationals,

the Warblers are preparing
to perform at a nursing home...

in a strip mall next to a national bank.

I'm so proud of you guys.
We miss you so much.

Isn't there any way
you could come back to McKinley?

I told him I would be all for it
if it wasn't for Karofksy.

- Wait. What did you just say?
- Kurt needs to be safe.

- Can we please change subject?
- That's it.

Kurt's the trick to winning prom queen
and getting Britt,

not to mention totally boosting
our chances at nationals.

If I could get Kurt back, I'd be a hero.

Even Quinn and Finn would vote for me.

And the key: Karofksy.

I've got to gay. Go. Go. I've got to go.

Um, why is Miss Pillsbury here?

She's helping us out
with this week's assignment.

This is the only club at school
that is represented by just about every race,

religion, sexual orientation and clique.

But many of you are still having
a hard time with acceptance.

That's crazy, Mr. Schue.
We love each other.

I won't deny
that you accept each other,
but you don't accept yourselves.

This week's assignment has two parts.

I want all of you to sing songs
about accepting yourself for who you are...

the best and the worst parts.

What's the second part?

Well, we're gonna do a group number
by the queen of self-love...

Gaga.

Yeah!
Whoo!

We're gonna perform
her anthem to acceptance,
"Born This Way."

Wait. Wait. I still don't know
why Miss Pillsbury's here.

I'm here to help you
with your costumes for the big number.

Each of you will be issued
a beautifully-fitted white T-shirt.

We will then use this letter press...

to write a word or a phrase...

that best describes the thing about you
that you're the most ashamed of...

or you'd like to change but you can't
because you were born that way.

- Which is super terrific.
- I want you to love those parts of you.

Embrace them. Wear them
on your chest with pride.

Can you give an example?

Yeah.

It's the big moment.

Wow. Emma, I thought
the whole purpose of you doing this...

was to write...
Being a ginger has
plagued me my entire life.

People say that I smell like copper,

I can get a sunburn indoors
at night,

and according to recent legend,
I have no soul.

But I'm here to say that this very curse
is what makes me unique.

Children,

I claim my gingerhood before you today.

I was born this way. Hooray.

Hooray! Hooray!

These crowns are a crock.

Do you know what I found out?
Not real jewels.

A crown hasn't rested on my head...

since I won Miss Tiara Toddler,
Allen County.

Are you serious?

Yeah. Three years in a row.

I dominated in Western wear and runway,

but my real talent was baby pull-ups.

Thirty-one,

32, 33!

I was on my way
to becoming Miss Ohio.

That is until the shoddy
Zizes thyroid kicked in
as well as the love of chips,

and suddenly I was denied entry
into the pageant circuit.

They said I no longer looked the part.
My dreams were dashed.

There's our future queen...

a size two teenage dream.

You know what?
We're gonna change that.

How?

Baby, you're gonna get that crown,

and I'm gonna be your king.

Thanks for doing this.

I'm surprised more girls haven't asked me.
My nose is awesome.

I can totally count on your vote, right?

Yeah. T... Totally.
Okay.

So what's it like?

Looking like you look.

I pretty much have
a warped sense of the world.

Being a hot 17-year-old, you can get away
with or do anything you want.

So I kind of always assume that people
are always nice and accommodating.

- Okay.

So, we, uh,
ready to pull the trigger?
Not-Not quite yet.

I was kind of hoping
that I could get an idea...

of what I might look like
after the procedure.

Um, this is my friend Quinn.

- Nice nose.
- Thank you.

- Very nice.
- Yeah, well, Rachel wants it.

No problem.

So I'll click some pics,
make up some photo composites.

We'll be ready to rock and roll.

-

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes

Make you feel unpretty too

I was told
I was beautiful

But what does that mean to you?

Look into the mirror
Who's inside there?

The one with the long hair

Same old me again today

My outsides are cool

My insides are blue

Every time I think I'm through

It's because of you

I've tried different ways

But it's all the same

At the end of the day
I have myself to blame

I'm just trippin'

You can buy your hair
if it won't grow

You can fix your nose if he says so

You can buy all the makeup
that MAC can make

But if you can't look inside you

Find out who am I to

Be in a position to make me feel so

Damn unpretty

I feel pretty

Oh, so pretty

I feel pretty and witty

And bright

And I pity

Any girl who isn't me tonight

Oh, oh-oh

Oh, oh, oh-oh

Tonight
Oh, oh-oh

Oh, oh, oh-oh

I feel pretty

You can buy your hair
if it won't grow
Oh, so pretty

You can fix your nose
if he says so

- I feel pretty and witty
- You can buy all the makeup

And bright
That MAC can make

But if

You can't look inside you

Find out who am I to
Ah, ah

Be in a position
to make me feel so

Damn unpretty
I feel pretty

But unpretty

Whoo!
Yeah!

- Huge applause, ladies.

She's got my vote.
She's such
an inspiration.

It's nice to see someone like me
on a poster for a change.

- What are you doing?
- Oh, hey! I'm running for prom queen.

As a joke, right?
Does it look
like I'm joking?

When your name appears on that ballot,
the whole school's gonna think
it's a laugh riot,

and you may just get
enough votes to win.
That's sort of the idea.

And as everybody snickers
as they try to squeeze that tiara
onto your head,

somebody's gonna spill pig's blood on you
or something like that,

and you'll become more of an outcast
than you already are.

Okay. I don't know exactly
what your problem is,
but you best bring it, Fabray,

because I'm hot as hell,
I keep it real...

and the people at this school
want a prom queen who's like them.

No, they want a prom queen
who's somebody they'd like to be.

Look, not everybody
can be born pretty like you.

But just so you know,
who you are inside...

and who you pretend to be
to the rest of the world,
they're two different people.

You don't know anything
about me, Lauren, anything.

But you know what?
You're about to.

This just got personal.

I knew you'd ask me out eventually.

I'm kind of Duke Stud at McKinley.

Oh, give it up. I know.

Know what?
That you're gay.

What? Who told you that?
No one had to tell me.

First of all, I saw you
checking out Sam's ass the other day.

You really need to be more careful
with your leering.

I didn't. I was just seeing
what jeans he was wearing.

Like that's any less gay.

Second of all,
I know about you and Kurt.

Remember last week
before the benefit,

about you being worried
about the truth getting out?

Guess what. It's out.

Whatever they told you
is a lie to mess with me.

I'm gonna kick their asses.
Okay, you know what?
Why don't you just settle down?

Let Auntie Tana here
tell you a little story.

It's about you.
You're what we call a late-in-life gay.

You're going to stay in the closet,
get married,

get drunk
to have relations with your wife,
have a couple kids,

maybe become a state senator
or a deacon...

and then get caught
in the men's room tapping
your foot with some page.

And you know what?
I accept that about you.

Why are you doing this?

Because I need you,
and you need me.

We play on the same team.

- Y-You're...
- Look, I'm not ready
to start eating jicama...

or get a flat top yet either.

Maybe in junior college.
This is garbage. I'm not gay.

I'm trying to help you out here.

Have you ever heard
of the term "beards"?

It's when a gay man and woman
date each other...

to hide the fact that they're gay,
like the Roosevelts.

So you and I are going
to be each other's beards.

Then we're gonna win
prom king and queen
and rule the school.

What if I say no?
Then I'm gonna tell
everyone about you,

and your life will be over.

Only straight I am is straight-up bitch.

You in or not?

What you're doing
is terrible.

I have a nice nose.
Rachel asked me for help,
and I'm giving it to her.

And once again,
we are fighting about Rachel.
I'm your girlfriend.

This isn't about who's my girlfriend.

Mr. Schue is trying to get us
to accept ourselves
for who we are,

and you're helping Rachel
do the exact opposite.

That's not cool.
Well, maybe I'm not down
with this week's lesson.

I love this lesson.

Whether I'm right

Or whether I'm wrong

Whether I find a place
in this world or never belong

I gotta be me

The dream that I see
makes me what I am

That faraway prize

A world of success

Is waiting for me

If I heed the call

I won't settle down

Won't settle for less

As long as there's a chance
that I can have it all

I'll go it alone

That's how it must be

I can't be right
for somebody else

If I'm not right for me

I've gotta be free

Daring to try to do it or die

I've gotta be me

That faraway prize

A world of success

Is waiting for me

If I heed the call

I won't settle down

Won't settle for less

As long as there's a chance
that I can have it all

I'll go it alone

If that's how it must be

I can't be right for somebody else
if I'm not right for me

I gotta be free

I just gotta be free

Daring to try
to do it or die

I gotta

Be me

- Yeah!

All right, Finn! Perfect.

See, guys, someone
who's not afraid to point out
something they're really bad at.

But I'm getting better, right?

Mr. Schuester,
may I have the floor, please?

It's yours.

So, as all of you know,

I've had a few consultations
with a doctor who specializes
in rhinoplasty.

Yes. We know. That's all
any of us have been talking about.

And we think it's a terrible idea.

Okay... Blue eyes,
you're such a hypocrite.

I admit, yes,
I don't like my eyes sometimes...

the shape, the color.

But your self-hatred, Rachel,
has helped me see the light.

- I love myself.
- Not enough, clearly.

When you get a nose job,
when you change your eyes,
when you bleach your freckles,

you're just announcing to the world,
"I don't like myself very much."

The drams of this week
have made me realize...

if I don't have
many Asian sex symbols to look up to,

I have an obligation
to become one myself.

My new mantra is,
"Be the change
you wanna see in the world."

I love you so much right now.

- Uh...
- Okay, okay, okay, okay. Guys.

Besides Tina's abrupt
personal transformation,

the compositions
came back from the doctor...

showing what my nose
would look like slightly altered.

And I have to say
I'm really happy with the results.

They're less Hebraic
and more "Fabrayic."

That doesn't really look like you.

Every year girls show up to my temple
after their 16th birthday...

Iooking suddenly slightly different.

And you know what?
Even though it's easier
to make out with them...

without getting constantly
stabbed in the eye, they're not as hot.

Well, this isn't about being hot.

It's about conquering your destiny...

and-and-and finding
something in yourself...

that you wanna change and change it.

Plus, they said that it
could improve my voice, so...

If you guys aren't willing
to support my decision,

then I'm pretty accustomed
to making it on my own.

Rachel, please don't do this.

You're beautiful.

This isn't a discussion.

I have made up my mind.

Rachel Berry is getting a nose job.

Hey.
Hey.

How's the assignment going?

Well, I actually wanted
to talk to you about that.
Oh.

The word you put on your T-shirt.

Ginger?
Right.

I was a little disappointed.

You and I both know you
should have put O.C. D. On it.

Will, I don't think it's appropriate...

to talk about
such personal things with them.

Those kids have to trust me.
I'm supposed to be a role model.

And you're not being one.

We're trying to teach these kids
to accept themselves, and you refuse to.

Will, you know I wasn't born this way.
It all started when I was five.

And you never had
any anxiety before that?

I understand
that I was a very colicky baby.

I remember getting
kicked out of preschool...

because I was
having panic attacks when they
made us use manila paper.

You have
a severe anxiety disorder, Emma.

All of us humor it
because you function so well
and you're so cute about it,

but it's really keeping you
from enjoying your life.

Okay. Fine. Do you know what?

If you want me to wear a shirt
that says "batty" or "loon" on it, I will.

Totally fine. So what if I like
my fruit free of contaminants?

Isn't that healthy?
You know what I want?

I want you to have lunch with me.

Is that unwashed fruit?
Yep. Here.

Have a blueberry.

Ooh!

- Come on.
- Mm-mmm.

- No. Stop. This isn't funny.
- I'm just trying to help you get better.

Mm-mmm.
Accepting the fact
that you have a problem...

is the first step.
What, and you think torturing me
with unwashed fruit...

is gonna make me take that step?

You know what I think, Emma?

I think you are
an expert at deflection.
Is that a new shirt?

And I think you work so hard
at helping other people... counseling them...

so that you can avoid doing
the hard, painful work on yourself.

No!

That's all I'm asking for.
Let me finish.

- Excuse me. Quiet. Quiet, okay?

We don't care what he has to say.

Shh. I know David has had
some issues in the past.

But I have great respect
for what he's doing right now,

and I ask you to hear him out.

Thank you.
How about we punch
his face out?

Right.
Okay, that's enough.
Everyone listen up.

First, I just wanna say how sorry I am...

for what I did to Kurt...

and for what I've done to a lot of you.

I think I've Slushee'd every one of you.

I treated Kurt the worst.

And I'm really ashamed
of who I am...

And what I did.

- Why should we believe you?
- You don't have to.

I know I'll need to earn your trust.

All I can say is that Santana
has really helped me to see the light.

She showed me
all these stories online...

about kids jumping off of bridges
and hanging themselves...

because they were being bullied so bad.

I couldn't believe
that someone could make
another person feel that awful.

But she helped me accept
that I was one of those bad people.

And I don't wanna be anymore.

Wait. Santana?

This Glee Club is not complete.

Not without Kurt.

So I've taken it upon myself
to try to rehabilitate Dave...

to see if maybe Kurt
would consider coming back
and help us win nationals.

I did this for us.

And then
something funny happened.

Something...
called love.

I'm gonna barf.

I want Kurt
to feel safe to come back,

which is why Santana and I
have started a new club...
the Bully Whips.

The name was my idea.

We're gonna be
like guardian angels.

I have deputized David and Santana...

and the rest of the club to roam the halls...

identifying bullying
and stopping it in its tracks.

I'm saying I want the pants, okay?

The ones you have on right now.

Then what would I wear
for the rest of the day?
That's a Y. P., your problem,

not a M.P., my problem.

Hey, Z. Back off.
Say what?

What is this? Berets?

Everyone deserves
a safe school environment.

Don't pick on this kid.
It's not cool,
and we won't allow it anymore.

I'm planning on reaching out to Kurt
personally through Principal Figgins...

to try to make amends.

This is a chance
to really change this place.

I hope you can support us.

You talk a great game,
but all I'm hearing is talk.

And talk isn't gonna keep Kurt safe.

But the anti-bullying club
that David started will.

The fact is, since the club began
enforcing the no-bullying rule,

we haven't had one incident.

And if I took all the water out of the ocean,
it wouldn't be wet anymore.

The bullying stopped...

because your top offender stopped.

- Mr. Hummel... Can I call you Burt?
- Of course.

You remember how understanding
I was about this when it all began?

I didn't come to David's defense.
I believed your son.

That's because the David I was seeing
was not the young man I knew.

The boy I raised
was a Cub Scout.

He was kind. He was a good citizen.

I still don't know
what was going through his mind
when all this bullying started.

But I call tell you
that the David I'm seeing now
is my son back again.

This... This is real.

Do you have any idea how much stress
this has caused my family?

My son having to leave his friends.

My wife and I spending money
we don't have on private school
'cause of your son.

Burt, were you always
so accepting of homosexuals?

We're the same age.

I remember what we used
to say about the gays when we were younger.

It's taken us a long time
to figure out what's right.

Why can't you just allow David
the couple of months
that it's taken him to figure it out?

Because he said he's gonna kill my son!

I never actually meant that though.
It's just a figure of speech.

- How's he supposed to know that?
- Your words still matter.

I know. You have to believe
how awful I feel about them.

Those ones especially.

That's not me, not anymore.

What do you think, Kurt?

I believe he realizes
what he did was wrong.

You're only saying that
because you wanna be back
in this school so bad.

Can Dave and I speak
for a moment alone?

You can wait
right outside in the hall.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

What's your angle here?

I'm just trying to make things right.

David, I know, remember?
And I haven't told anyone.

Why? It would have made
your life a lot easier.

I don't believe in denying who you are,

but I don't believe in outing either.

But still, you owe me the truth.

What's going on here?

It was Santana's idea.

She wants to be prom queen,

so she figures
if we can get you back,
we'll get everyone to vote for us.

I'm both repulsed and impressed
by her Lady Macbethian ways.

A Latina Eve Harrington.

If you're gonna be gay,
you must know who that is.

I don't know for sure I am gay, okay?
Stop being such a broken record.

Okay, I have several options here.

I could tell everyone the truth about you...

Dude, I said I'm sorry.
You said you wouldn't do that.

Hold on.

Or I can return here...

and marvel with pride
at your new anti-bullying movement,

which I fully believe in,

and further demand
that you and I start a chapter
of PFLAG here at William McKinley.

Parents, Family and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays.

You need to be educated, David.

You may not have to come out,
but you need to be educated.

Oh, man, just kill me now.

Just keep an eye
on your brother.
One step ahead of you.

What's he doing in here?

You can't be in here, Noah.
It's cool.

I checked through the peephole
I drilled last year to make sure
no one was going.

What can I help you with today?
I just wanna talk to you,

one hot Jew to another.
Oh, God. It's my nose.

I am tired of the lectures.
Hear me out. Why are you
getting Quinn's nose?

If you wanna breathe better,
why don't you have him give you
Karl Malden's nose?

Your nose has been passed down
from generation to generation
as a birthright.

It's a sign of the survival
of our people.

This has nothing to do with our religion.

I need one hour of your time tomorrow.
Just one hour.

Give me that,
and I'll never bug you again.

- What the hell's going on?

Well, my fellow Glee Clubbers,
it's noon,

which means it's official.

- What's official?
- My transfer!

Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!

Hi.

Let me breathe. Let me breathe.

Let's get ready for nationals.
Well, not yet.

See, there's a reason
we're meeting here today.

There's some people that wanted
to say good-bye to you, Kurt.

Kurt, Dalton's gonna miss you.

You were a great addition
to the Warblers,

and you made us a better team.

I'm sad to see you go,
but we all know this
is something that you really want.

And I'll still have you after school
and on the weekends.

But these guys won't,
so they wanted to say good-bye.

And thank you, Kurt.

An empty land

I knew the pathway
like the back of my hand

I felt the earth

Beneath my feet

Sat by the river
and it made me complete

Oh, simple thing

Where have you gone?
Where have you gone?

I'm getting old
and I need something to rely on

So tell me when

You're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need
somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute
why don't we go

Talk about it
somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere

Only we know?

If you have a minute
why don't we go

Talk about it
somewhere only we know?

This could be the end
of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know?

I'll never say good-bye to you.

Yeah.
Hi.

Hey!

No crying. No crying.

We love you.
We back. We back.

We back.
Yeah!

I don't know why I'm frightened

I know my way around here

The cardboard trees

The painted seas

The sound here

Yes, a world to rediscover

But I'm not in any hurry

And I need a moment

The whispered conversations

In overcrowded hallways

The atmosphere

Is thrilling here

As always

Feel the early morning madness

Feel the magic in the making

Why

Everything's as if

We never said good-bye

I've spent so many mornings

Just trying to resist you

I'm trembling now

You can't know how
I've missed you

Missed the fairy-tale
adventure

In this ever-spinning playground

We were young together

I'm coming out of makeup

The lights already burning

Not long until

The cameras will start turning

And the early morning madness

And the magic in the making

Yes, everything's as if

We never said good-bye

I don't want to be alone

That's all in the past

This world's waited long enough

I've come home at last

And this time will be bigger

And brighter than we knew it

So watch me fly

We all know I can do it

Could I stop my hands from shaking?

Has there ever been a moment

With so much to

Live for?

The

Whispered conversations

In overcrowded hallways

So much to say

Not just today

But always

We'll have early morning madness

We'll have magic in the making

Yes, everything's as if

We never said good-bye

Y es

Everything's as if

We never said

Good-bye

We taught the world

New ways to

Dream

Hey, Lucy.

What did you just call me?

Well, that certainly got your attention.

Can we speak privately?

Oh, you may wanna have a seat.

Yeah.

My dad's college roommate
was G. Gordon Liddy.

And he taught my pop a valuable lesson.

He said the key to any campaign
is digging up dirt on your opponent.

So I did a little digging.

Dude, my permanent record
has three volumes.

I don't remember doing half this stuff.

- Jackpot.
- You moved to Lima
after eighth grade, right?

I transferred from Fairbrook.
That's not a secret.

Well, you must've had
a pretty lousy attendance record,

because I called Fairbrook Middle School,

and they didn't have a record
of anyone named Fabray.

Which makes sense,
as you actually lived...

in an unincorporated part
of Fairbrook Township,

which would've meant
you would have gone to
Belleville Middle School, not Fairbrook.

So I took a little field trip.

- You didn't.
- I did.

And they didn't have a record
of anyone named Quinn Fabray either.

They did, however,
have someone named Lucy Fabray.

Lucy Q. Fabray, to be exact.

And she looked like this.

You can kind of see the resemblance...

if you look past the nose job
and subtract 70 pounds.

Stop, okay?

That's me.

My middle name is Quinn.

I stopped going by Lucy because kids
made up a mean nickname.

Juicy Lucy?

Lucy Caboosey.

I hated the way I looked.

I had zits. I was chubby.

Felt terrible about myself.

I didn't have friends.
Nobody would talk to me.

I was the only kid at school
who had to dissect their own frog...

because nobody
would be my lab partner.

And then I joined ballet,
lost a little bit of weight,

found out I was athletic,
joined gymnastics, then cheerleading.

Went on Proactiv for my acne.

And when my dad got transferred
and got a raise,

I asked him if I could get a nose job.

And he said yes.

Then I asked them to call me Quinn.

So you hate yourself.

No, I love myself,
and that's why I did all those things.

I've been that girl,
and I'm never going back.

I was a miserable little girl.

And now I'm gonna be prom queen.

Yeah. See, I wouldn't be
so sure about that.

You think everyone's gonna vote for you
because they wanna be like you.

Well, I don't know
if they're gonna wanna be like you...

when they find out
that you're a complete fraud.

What are you gonna do?

If I were you, I'd check the bulletin boards.

Why did you bring me here?
Is there a sale at Claire's?

I brought you here
to knock some sense into you.

You won't listen to me.
You won't listen to Finn.

But you will listen to Barbra Streisand.

Thanks, Puck.
I'll take it from here. Nice effort.

But only I can lead this Barbra-vention.

Is she here?
This is a mall in Ohio.

Look, Rachel, here's the deal.
Do you want to disappoint her?

Who?
Barbra.

Of course not, Kurt. She's my idol.

If you get a nose job,
then you'll be spitting on her legacy.

Barbra refused to believe
that beauty could only be defined...

by the blonde, chiseled faces
of Hitchcock's beauties.

So she redefined what beauty was...

and became the biggest
female star in the world.

But what if I can't be like her?
Isn't she one in a billion?

So are you, Rachel.

And if you let one
misguided societal pressure
make you change the way you look,

then you won't
just be letting Barbra down.

You'll be letting down
all the little girls...

who are gonna look
at your beautiful face one day
and see themselves.

You'll be taking away
their inspiration too.

I thought you'd be hesitant,
which is why I brought you here.

Perhaps if my words
don't inspire you, a song will.

- Go.

What are you doing?

- Barbra Streisand.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Barbra Streisand.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

- Barbra Streisand.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Yeah!

Barbra Streisand.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Barbra Streisand.

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Barbra Streisand.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

-

Okay.

So... nice and clean.

I'm afraid we're out of time.

What do you mean? I just sat down.

Well, the therapeutic hour
is 50 minutes,

and you just spent 48 of them
disinfecting the chair.

It's clear you have
a fairly severe case...

of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Really?

O.C. D. Is very treatable.

A combination of medication
and behavioral therapy...

will give you some relief
from those feelings
of panic that you might feel...

if, say, you think you forgot
to unplug the curling iron.

Oh, God, I think I forgot
to unplug the curling iron.

There's a stigma in this country
about mental illness.

I mean, depression,
anxiety, O.C. D., bipolar...

They're hard to diagnose,

so people don't always appreciate
that they're serious problems.

But they are.

Yeah. Um...

I don't know.

I'm not sure I wanna lay on a couch
and tell some stranger all of my secrets.

And I don't want to start popping pills...

just so I can turn into someone
that other people want me to be.

This is how I am.

This is who I'm supposed to be.

Your illness is not
who you're supposed to be.

It's keeping you
from who you're supposed to be.

Look, you're
a guidance counselor, right?

So if a student came to you
and said they had diabetes,

would you give them insulin...

or would you say,
"Hey, that's just
who you're supposed to be"?

I...

I just feel, um...

I feel so ashamed.

Right.

Well, you're not alone.

After my daughter was born,

I had a severe case
of postpartum depression.

I would look down
at this beautiful baby girl...

like she wasn't even mine.

Like all the color
just came out of the world.

But you know when the moment was
that I started to feel
just a little bit better?

When I admitted
that I needed some help.

Well, that's what I'm here for.

Can I tell you something, Emma?

You're gonna feel better.

I promise.

I'm gonna give you an S.S.R. I.

Start with a low dosage.

And that'll help you
hold on to the serotonin
that your brain naturally makes anyway.

And I'd like to see you
in about a week.

Hey.

Well, it's over.
What?

My campaign.
I'll never get elected prom queen now.

Can I show you something?

It's my girlfriend.

I used to have another photo,
but I like this one better.

Why?

She looks terrible.
You think so?

Mm-hmm.

'Cause I think it's the first one
where you can really see her.

Thank you.

See you in Glee rehearsal, okay?

She's like an inspiration.

One of us. One who overcame.

I always thought she was
just some kind of stuck-up bitch,

but she's really
one of the people.
Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

Holy crap. It's her.
Totally.

You have our votes, Lucy.
Totally.

Thanks. I'll try not to let you down.

This just in. Jacob Ben Israel's
queen poll has you up by 40%.

I... suppose I had that result coming.

It's not cool what I did to you,
and I apologize.

I respect you.

I had to get a nose job
and go on a crazy diet...

to walk around this school
like I owned it.

And you just do it.

Well, I have to admit,

I have considered going blonde.

I'm not so sure.

Red maybe.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Red.

Hey.

Do you like my shirt for Glee Club?

That's perfect.

Check out mine.

What? This is perfect.

Legend has it that when
I came out of my mother,
I told the nurse she was fat.

Well,

I made a different one for you.

I'm Hispanic.

Wait. Was that supposed
to be "lesbian"?
Yeah. Isn't that what it says?

When you told me
all that stuff the other week,
it meant so much to me...

to see you be so honest.

Especially 'cause
I know how bad it hurt.

I was so proud of you.
Well, don't get used to it.

And certainly don't even
think about telling anyone.

Why not? You're, like,
the most awesomest girl
at this school.

Why would you try
to hide any of that?
I'm dating Karofksy now.

That's gross.
You don't get a say
in who I date anymore.

Why not?
Because I'm dating somebody?

Because you're Lebanese
and I think I'm bi-curious?

No. Because I said I love you.

You didn't say you love me back.
I do love you.

Clearly, you don't love you
as much as I do...

or you'd put the shirt on
and you would dance with me.

In two guesses.

All right, guys. Listen up.

You all did really good this week.

It was tough,
but I think we came closer
as a team, and I'm proud of you.

And now I'd like to be the first one
to show off my custom T-shirt,

revealing something
I was self-conscious about in the past,

something I was born with...

and something I've come to accept
about myself this past week.

So, drumroll, Finn.

- Ho!

I like your chin, Mr. Schue.

I would've went
with "Tears Up A Lot."

Is everyone here?
Not everyone.

I wanted to thank you guys
for my Barbra-vention.

And I have an announcement to make.

I went to my doctor and...

I canceled my appointment.

And then I went home
and I made... this.

Whoa!

Unfortunately,
I can't join in on today's dance number.

My doctor said I have to stay away from
vigorous choreography while my nose heals.

So thanks for being patient.

And, Finn, next time
watch out for the schnoz.

Where's Santana?

Probably off somewhere
making out with Karofksy.

Well, he can have her.
Hit it!

It doesn't matter if you love him...

or capital H-l-M.

Just put your paws up.

'Cause you were born this way, baby.

My mama told me
when I was young

We're all born superstars

She rolled my hair
and put my lipstick on

In the glass of her boudoir

There's nothing wrong
with loving who you are

She said 'cause he
made you perfect, babe

So hold your head up, girl,
and you'll go far

Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag
Just be a queen

Whether you're broke
or evergreen

You're black, white,
beige, chola descent

You're Lebanese
You're Orient

Whether life's disabilities
left you outcast, bullied or teased

Rejoice and love yourself today

'Cause, baby,
you were born this way

No matter black, white or beige,
chola or Orient-made

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way

- Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was

- Baby, I was born this way
- Baby, I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't
no other way

Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way, hey

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey

I was born this way, hey

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey

You guys should record this one!

Yeah!

English - US - PSDH