All language subtitles for Glee.S02E17.720p.BluRay.X264-REWARD_track3_eng [SubtitleTools.com]

Here's what you missed.

Will's dating the hot substitute,
Holly Holliday.

- She's sassy.
You can see why he's into her.
- Sexy!

Quinn and Finn are back together
in a big way, and so is the Glee Club.

They did original songs,
and now they're headed to New York.

- Get out!
- Sue thinks Will made her lose at nationals,

and she's gone over the edge,
even for her, and that's saying something.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

All right, we need $5,000 to pay
for our trip to nationals in New York.

What happened to the money
that we got from the Cheerios?

I guess Sue was hiding it
in offshore accounts
in the Cayman Islands,

and we're having some trouble
accessing some of it.

Any of it.

- This is saltwater taffy.
- I love saltwater.

When I was a student here,
we paid for our entire trip
to nationals selling this...

classroom to classroom,
door to door.

We pushed this stuff
like crack.

And so will we.

So to make $5,000
at 25 cents apiece,

we need to sell
20,000 pieces of taffy.

Wait. Do you honestly think
that we can sell 20,000 anythings?

We won regionals for the first time
since dinosaurs roamed the planet,

and I still got
a freakin' cherry ICEE facial.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, Santana's right.
Nobody cares about us.

I can't listen to this.

Mike, are you okay?
No.

You guys complain all the time
about being mistreated,

but you have no idea
what it's like to work
your butt off for something...

and have everyone,
even your friends, ignore you.

I'm so trying
to remember his name right now.

Artie, Tina, Brittany and I
are on the Brainiacs.

Isn't that
the Academic Decathlon team?

- We have one of those?
- Yes, we do.

And the four of us
went on the Smarty Pants Show...

and beat Carmel High to go
to the Academic Decathlon finals
in Detroit next week.

You guys were on TV?

- Why didn't you tell us about it?
- We did.

Wait. I... I get the three of you
being on the team.

Is it because two of them are Asian
and Artie wears glasses?

No.

But Brittany?

Liz Schneider was our fourth,
but she got rubella.

Her parents are hippies
Who don't believe in vaccinations.

Brittany was the only person
we could find on short notice.

We bribed her with Dots.

That Sunshine Corazon
that Rachel sent to a crack house...

was on the other team.
I'll take Deadly Cyclones, please.

Right on, soul sister. In 1970...

The Bhola cyclone.

Correct again.

Luckily, we had our own secret weapon.

I'll take Cat Diseases.

I won't.

The first known case of this disease
was first diagnosed...

in Calcutta in 2001.

Feline AIDS?

Correct. Bonus question.

Ringworm. Conjunctivitis.

Kidney failure.

Now, on to our final
speed round question.

Whoever buzzes in first
and answers correctly...

will win the title and go on to our finals
next week in Detroit.

Our final category: White Rappers.

Sadly, we can't afford to go to the finals,
so we're gonna have to forfeit.

- Why don't you just have
your parents pay for it?
- Because we shouldn't have to.

We're a school club.
The school should pay for it.
It's a matter of pride.

You guys are absolutely right.
How much do you need to make the trip?

With gas and motels,
if we only ate Funyuns, uh, $250.

Which means...

we just need to sell more taffy.

I'm sure you're wondering why I called you
all together here in the dead of night...

when I'm normally out
bow-hunting for hoboes.

Dustin Goolsby,
coach of Vocal Adrenaline.

Sandy Ryerson, defrocked educator
and legendary friend of Dorothy.

- Terri Schuester, shrew.
- I'm also an assistant manager.

We all have one very
important thing in common.

We all hate Will Schuester.

I have a question. Are you single?

- Uh, I'm not gay.
- I don't care.

- You're hunky and I'm what
they call "predatory gay."

I'll admit I've been
on a bit of a losing streak,

having lost regionals.

And if Will Schuester wins at nationals,

my role as reigning champion
at this school will be usurped.

I'm asking you for your help.
Our mission:

To destroy the Glee Club.

We'll target their
fragile sense of self-esteem...

so that they implode long before
they can make it to nationals.

And I call this union...

the League of Doom.

Ooh!
First of all,
that is a ridiculous name.

And second of all, what kind of a meeting
doesn't have bagels or something?

Wow. It would be hard
to be married to you.

And for the record...
And mixed nuts.

I am trying to move on with my life.
I don't hate Will Schuester.

- But you do hate the Glee Club.
- That's true. I do.

And I am looking for a new hobby.

Henceforth, you will be known
by the following super villain nicknames.

- Sandy Ryerson, you are the Pink Dagger.
- Yes!

You are the Honey Badger,
nature's most ferocious animal.

Look it up on YouTube.

Dustin Goolsby? Sergeant Handsome.

My code name will be General Zod.

Hold up. I coach
the winningest Glee Club in history.

We're a lock to beat
McKinley at nationals as it is.

- Why would I wanna get involved in this?
- Because, Sergeant,

you strike me as a bit of a tool...

who enjoys playing mind games
with your opponents.

- I really do like doing that.
- Legion of Evil?

- League of Doom.
- You can count me in.

Although I am enjoying
my second career...

as a small-time
medical marijuana dealer...

Okeydokey.
It doesn't change the fact...

that William took my job.

Here are your beepers.
You will await further instructions.

And until then, we will be known only as...

Legion of Evil.
I don't think I was listening
when you said our name.

Is it league
or legion?

Worst henchmen ever.

I missed you so much last week.

What do you wanna do
tomorrow night?
Whoa there, cowboy.

We haven't even had our pizza.
I'm just trying to get you
when I can.

You know,

this is actually the first
relationship I've had...

where the girl hasn't been all over me
to spend more time with her.

Well, get used to it.
I'm a sub. I'm a rolling stone.

I warned you that being
in a relationship with me...

meant being
in a constant state of wanting.

I am both awesome and
unavailable at the same time.

Yeah, kind of awesome.

What do you think
about my taffy sale plan
to send the Brainiacs to Detroit?

Um, I think it's as terrible
as the word "brainiacs," but...

Okay, here's your problem, all right?
You're thinking too small.

Okay? That crazy ex-wife of yours
messed with your brain...

and now you think you can't dream.

Okay. What's your idea?

A night of neglect.

- That actually sounds
like life with my ex-wife.
- Hilarious.

No, seriously,
here's what you need to do.
Oh! Ah!

Have a benefit.

You know how they do on TV
when there's an earthquake...

or they wanna raise money
for, like, a sad disease?

That's actually
a really good idea.
I know it is.

See, your kids are
feeling really neglected, right?

So you fill the auditorium with people who
are there to hear them sing, and poof!

Oh! I'm loving this.

And we can sell tickets.

And it is a perfect place
to practice for nationals.
And you know the best part?

We're only gonna do songs
by neglected artists.

Because it's a night of neglect.

Can you define what you mean
by neglected artists?

Um, someone whose brilliance
isn't always appreciated.

- Oh, so you mean like me?
- I mean like all of us.

All right, everyone,
next Saturday night in our auditorium,

McKinley High's First Annual Night of Neglect
fund-raiser benefit is officially a go.

Sergeant Handsome, walk with me.

I'm surprised you even saw me.
I was blending in pretty well back there.

Here's your mission.
Word on the street...

is that Schuester and that substitute,
Holly Holliday, are official.

Break them up. She's looser
than a thrift store turtleneck...

and probably
just as diseased.
Just my type.

Psst.
Ready for my close-up, "General Zog."

Sandy, how do you manage
to enter a building
without setting off all of the fire alarms?

I have to say,
with all this sneaking around,
I've never felt more alive.

What's my assignment?

Pink Dagger, I just learned
that the Glee Club
is performing a benefit concert.

It's just the opening we need.
There's a student club I want you to sponsor.

- Heckling... the world's
second oldest profession.

- Hell am I doing in here?
- Good. Louder.

In olden times, hecklers
provided a needed service
to the medieval community.

Pink Dagger, if I may.

Welcome to the very first meeting
of the Heckling Club.

You set me up.
You told me I was supposed to
come here to get homework help.

Congratulations. You're all in.

I'm really confused.

- I'm totally doing Lykke Li.

She's Björk
meets Florence and the Machine,
and a promising new talent.

What about you, Mike?

Mike Chang, Dance Dance Revolution.

I'm tired of my dancing
being overshadowed
by all of you guys' singing.

It's gonna be just me
and my sweet moves on that stage.

You're forgetting about
the most neglected artist
this Glee Club's ever seen...

Aretha Franklin.

Neglected?
She's, like, the Queen of Soul.

I auditioned for this club
singing "Respect,"

and she's got none since,
so I'm doing Aretha.

Awesome, Mercedes.
Awesome, all of you guys.

Those songs are great appetizers
to my main course.

Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On."
It's gonna be our finale.

That's, like,
the biggest song of all time.

No, you don't understand.
Celine isn't the neglected artist. I am.

I was kind of hoping
to do the closing number.

- Hey, you guys remember Sunshine Corazon?
- You are a terrible spy.

Seriously, with your size,
you easily could have stayed
in the air ducts for days.

- Right.
- I'm not a spy.

I heard about your benefit concert
on Facebook, and I wanted to perform.

I know what it feels like
to be in Academic Decathlon.

No one pays attention to you.
No one cares.

It's not right. We study so hard.

But you're in Vocal Adrenaline.
How do we know we can trust you?

Because I have
nothing against any of you.

I have 600 Twitter followers.
I can get all of them to come.

- How many tickets have we sold so far?
- Four. No one's interested.

- It's just sad.
- Please, just let me show you what I can do.

I would like to sing the perfect song
about neglect- "All By Myself."

I'm such a better singer
than everyone else,
so I know how it feels.

I'm all alone at the top.
Also I'm really short.

So even when I'm
in a group of people,

it feels like I'm wandering alone
through a forest.

There's no way that she's singing
in our auditorium. She's the enemy.

I say we give her a chance.
You owe her, Rachel.

You sent her
to a frickin' crack house.

When I was young

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

Those days are gone

Living alone

I think of all the friends I've known

When I dial the telephone

Nobody's home

All by myself

Don't wanna be all by myself

Anymore

All by myself

Don't wanna live

All by myself

Anymore

Whoo!

Ohh

Go on now!

Don't wanna live
by myself, by myself

Anymore

By myself

Anymore

Whoa, oh, oh-oh

All right!

So, can I perform with you guys?

Absolutely not. She's just trying to get on
our good side so she can spy on us.

You're one to talk.
We told you the same thing
about Jesse St. James last year.

And you were right.

This whole thing isn't about us.
It's about helping the Brainiacs.

We need Sunshine's Twitter followers
to come and pay for tickets,

or there's no point
in having a benefit at all.

Fine. Mercedes, you're okay
with being bumped...

to the decidedly less glamorous
middle spot, right?

Um, sure, I guess.

Absolutely.

- Hey, Mercedes. Can I have your shoes?

I promise to give you a dirty pair
of my flip-flops in return.

Do you know how hard it is to find high-top
yellow patent leather sneakers?

Really? I'm surprised you didn't
just give them to me...

considering how little
you think of yourself.

You're the most
talented singer in Glee Club,

yet you're constantly
taking the backseat to everyone.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

I'm tired of fighting
with Rachel all the time.

Okay. You're always singing
about R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

But respect isn't
something you can ask for.
You have to demand it.

And you deserve it.
You don't seem to have trouble
in that department.

Right. But you know what?
Neither does Aretha or J. Lo or Mariah.

You know why?
Because they get proof every day.

I heard Mariah makes
appointments at 9:00 a. M...

and shows up
at 4:00 in the afternoon...

because she knows people will wait.

But those kinds of demands are ridiculous.

Exactly. But once you see
that no matter how ridiculous your
demands, people will meet them,

you know you have it.
Have what?

Respect.

And, as your manager,
I'd say you're thinking too small.

Wait a minute.
Since when are you my manager?

Since you agreed
to give me 10% of whatever
we can come up with to ask for.

Sister, you've got yourself a deal.

Are you okay?
Yeah.

I will be as soon
as this counter's really clean.

I hear that O.C. D. Symptoms
tend to get worse...

when the person
is under great stress.

Carl's gone.

He asked for an annulment,

which I guess he's legally entitled to...

considering we never actually
consummated the marriage.

You guys never...

At what age are you allowed to look back on
your life with nothing but regret?

Is 32 too young?

I actually believed that I'd have a handle
on my O.C. D. By now.

It's just been so long, and...

I'm so tired.

This your lunch?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

One day you're gonna find
a way to beat this thing.

Until then,

I'm here for you.

No judgment. Just...

a friend that you can count on.

Cheers.

- So, uh,

the Brainiacs asked us to be benefit heads
for the Night of Neglect.

And we would like to select you
head of talent relations.

We figured you're probably used to relating
to talent because you're so talented.

Well, first, I'm honored
that you came to me.

But I think it's a little
insensitive of you...

to be flaunting
your dating in my face.
Fantastic.

'Cause we are having problems
with one of our performers.

A... I need a bowl of green M&Ms.
And by bowl, I mean large bowl.

- Really a small barrel.
- O-kay.

Two... I need humidifiers...
lots of humidifiers, a team of humidifiers...

whose only job is to make
the air that Mercedes breathes more humid.

- We'll try our best.
- Shh. I'm not finished.

Before every performance,
I'd like to wash my hands.

And after doing so,
I'd like to dry them on a fresh puppy.

- Excuse me?
- I believe you heard Ms. Jones.

In fact, if I were you, I'd probably get
a whole litter of fluffy puppies...

- just in case she decides
to take a post-show shower.

Stars make demands the way
that babies make messes in their diapers.

They can't help it.
What a star wants is to just
feel appreciated and respected.

They just wanna feel
like they're being heard.

Well, she seemed
pretty serious about the puppy.

Well, obviously, hers is a talent
that we have neglected.

I can relate.
So leave it to me. I'll take care of it.

Hello, class.

I am the world's most famous
and stylish divorcée, Wallis Simpson.

I was married a bunch of times,

and then I fell in love with Edward VI I I
and made him abdicate the throne.

I had giant hands, so a lot of people
thought I was a hermaphrodite.

But that wasn't true.
Others said I was a Nazi sympathizer.

That was true.

Boy, did I think that Hitler
showed promise.

- Tomorrow we're gonna do
Catherine the Great...

and her pet stallion Fred, so come early.

We haven't been introduced.
I'm Dustin Goolsby,
coach of Vocal Adrenaline.

Oh. So you're
the big competition at nationals.

Well, thank you very much for volunteering
your star for our Night of Neglect benefit.

What are you talking about?
I never approved that.

Let me cut to the sexy chase.

Think about how many more years
you have left
of productive ovulating.

Those aren't eggs
in those fallopian tubes.

They're rare exotic pearls.

Oh, so you're
trying to seduce me.
Jackpot.

This hairline is 85% my own
and my sperm count is off the charts.

Well...
As tempting as that sounds,
I have a boyfriend.

You do now.
Admit it, I'm handsome,

I'm good-looking
and I'm easy on the eyes.

- Also I'm gorgeous.
- And I'm dating Will Schuester.

Let me tell you
something about Will Schuester.
That guy has tiny baby hands.

Seriously, it's weird.

Once I saw him try to pick up
a Big Mac, and he couldn't do it.

He had to eat it layer by layer.

Teeny, tiny, wee baby hands.

They're big enough
to knock your teeth out.

Well, this is awkward.
Consider my offer.

What offer?

He was just hitting on me.
Isn't that silly?

What's wrong?

Well, we were supposed
to have lunch and you don't show,

and now you're getting hit on
by the coach of our arch rival.

How is that my fault?

And by the way,
I did show up for lunch,

and you looked like you were actually
having a pretty good time.

I kind of felt like I was intruding.

So... Oh, man.
I am not the jealous type, Will.

Neither am I.

Look, how about instead
of a pointless argument,

we rehearse our duet for the benefit?

I really don't, uh, feel
in the mood to do a duet right now.

I think I just have to clear my head.

No problem.

I'll see you at the benefit.

Well, as you can see,
we have followed your exact specifications.

Wait. Where's my puppy?

She specifically asked for a puppy.

This is unbelievable.
How am I supposed to work like this?

Don't worry. Puckerman is
out right now scouring pounds
for the perfect Pomeranian.

Good. This is almost
worthy of the artist doing
the closing number at the benefit.

Well, actually, um, Sunshine
is gonna be doing the last number...

because she's bringing in
hundreds of people.

And so I'll go on before Sunshine
because I'm, well, me.

And Miss Holliday and Mercedes
will go on before me.

Fine. But Ms. Jones
isn't happy about it.

And in exchange, she's demanding
that during the day of the benefit,

her feet never touch the ground.

- Excuse me?
- Did you not see Celine's wedding?

- Carried in.
- Cher's comeback tour.

- Carried in.
- Gaga at the Grammys.

Carried the hell in.

Um, I'm sorry.
Are you saying that you want
to be carried in in a giant egg?

We'll get back to you.

And that was the Spanish classroom.

And, of course, you know the choir room.

Hey, you guys,
you better get in the auditorium.
The show's about to start.

It's gonna be a full house.
Gotta get there early
to get a good seat.

We'll be there in a minute.
I'm just showing Blaine around.

Thanks for coming
and supporting us, guys.
It's really cool.

Bye.

Aw, you miss them.

What the hell
are you two doing here?

- We're here for the benefit.
Don't tell me you're going.
- I wouldn't be caught dead.

I was pumping iron in the gym,
and one of the guys told me
you two were here...

spreading your fairy dust
all over the place.
Will you just give it up.

Live whatever lie you want,
but don't pretend the three of us
don't know what's going on.

You don't know squat, butt boy.

Hey, no, you guys. Stop.

Real brave with your fists,
but you're a coward
when it comes to the truth.

Truth about what?
It's none
of your business, J. Lo.

First of all, anything you do
became my business...

when you decided to toss
that slushee up in my grill.

I think I can take
a couple of queers and a girl.

Okay. See,
here's what's gonna go down.
Two choices.

You stay here
and I crack one of your nuts,
right or left- that's your choice...

or you walk away and live
to be a douche bag another day.

And also, I have razor blades
hidden in my hair.

- Mm-hmm. Tons. Just all up in there.

Mm-hmm.

We could've handled that.

It was more fun doing it together.

- Oh, crap.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

This just in. According to Sunshine's
Twitter, she's not coming...

and neither
are any of her followers.
I told you. She's evil.

I was just in the auditorium.
There's, like, six people in there.

I say we blow this whole thing off
and hit the arcade.

No. No. Screw that.

These people paid to see us sing.

What's that saying?
"The show's gotta go all
over the place" or something.

- You mean, "The show must go on."
- Yeah.

Finn's right, you guys.

Whether there's six
or 6,000 people out there,
we still have to give it our all.

Okay, Tina, you're up first.

Oh, I beg you

Can I follow?

You suck!
Where's Rachel Berry?

Be my only

Show tunes!
Show tunes! Show tunes!

Be the water where I'm wading

You're making me barf!

You're my river running high

Run deep, run wild

Oh, I'll follow

I'll follow you

Deep sea, baby

- Boo!
- Hell, is this even music?

Boo! Kiss my ass!

I can't take this!

- I can't stand this!

Boo!

This is the worst I've
ever felt in my entire life.

I didn't think it was possible
for people to hate us even more.

We're calling this off.

Guys, I hate to say it,
but I think we have to buck up.

Tina, I'm sorry you had
to go through that,

but it's actually
a really good lesson for us.

That's a part of show business, guys.
Sometimes people can be really mean.

Think about what's gonna happen
if we have an unfriendly crowd
at nationals in New York.

And I'm sure there's gonna be
some Vocal Adrenaline hecklers there too.

We need to find some strength
and barrel through this.

I think I may know a way to shut
those hecklers up for a number or two.

Take as much
as you want.
Thanks, babe. I'll take two.

And remember,
vote Quinn Fabray for prom queen.

And now please enjoy
the dance stylings of Mr. Mike Chang...

as he busts some moves
to Jack Johnson's "Bubble Toes."

It's as simple as something
that nobody knows

That her eyes are as big
as her bubbly toes

On the feet of a queen
of the hearts of the cards

- And her feet are all covered
with tar balls and scars
- Boo! Boo!

Well, I was eating lunch at the D.L.G.

When this little girl came
and she sat next to me

Never seen nobody
move the way she did

Well, she did and she does
and she'll do it again

When you move like a jellyfish
rhythm is nothing

You go with the flow
You don't stop, mmm

It's as common as something
that nobody knows

That her beauty will follow
wherever she goes

Up the hill, in the back
of her house, in the wood

She'll love me forever, I know
She

La, da, da, da, da-da

La, da-da, da, da, da, da, da

If you would only listen
you might just realize what you're missing

You're missing me

It's as simple as something
that nobody knows

That her eyes are as big
as her bubbly toes

On the feet of a queen
of the hearts of the cards

Her feet are infested with tar balls and

La, da, da, da, da-da

La, da-da, da, da, da, da

La, da, da, da, da-da

La, da-da, da, da, da, da, da

Whoo!
Bravo!

Whoo!
Yeah!

I was all kinds of awesome.
Yeah!

- Terrific job, Mike.
- Whoo!

Hey, sounds like the Heckling Club
loved our refreshments.

Yeah, but we're
almost out of that taffy.

How are we gonna keep them
from going after us again
after the intermission?

By being so good
that they can't heckle us.

And I know just the person for the job.
Where's Mercedes?

- She's up.

I'm sorry. Ms. Jones has not appreciated
the way she's been treated...

and is refusing to go on.

Let me talk to her.

Don't bother.

Mercedes has left the building.

Okay, you guys go find Mercedes.

I'm gonna go deal with the haters.

- Are we in trouble?
- Oh, no, not at all.

I was just taking the opportunity
of intermission...

to tell you guys
what great hecklers you are.

You must practice a lot.

Nah, not that much.
Just on the Internet only.

My posts on NCIS
and CSI... Miami chat rooms are legendary.

- You're kidding.
I've never seen you on there.
- You wouldn't.

Because I post
as "NCISucks" or "NCIStupid."

I'm "The Beckster" on
the Entertainment Weekly chat room.

And my "CurlyHairinCairo" Twitter account
helped bring down Mubarak.

Technology has allowed us
to be brutally cruel...

without suffering any consequences.

In the past if I wanted
to tell someone they sucked,

I'd have to say it to their face,

which would usually result
in them kicking me in the groin.

I get it. We live in a culture of insults.

We're constantly bombarded
with these images of people
who are richer than us...

and happier than us and have
more interesting sex than us,

and it makes us
feel terrible.
Preach.

We tear them down
to feel better about ourselves.

And we don't just stop with the people
who are on TV or in magazines.

We do it to everybody.
And we think that because
it's done anonymously,

there are no ramifications.

But there are ramifications, guys,

because it makes you comfortable
with insensitivity.

Do you know that one of the girls you
heckled tonight has been crying for an hour?

Are you saying
you never ragged on anybody?

Oh, of course I did. I spent three years
sending hate mail to Debbie Gibson...

until she wrote me back and said that the
stress of my letters is giving her alopecia.

And then I felt terrible because
I realized it was just my jealousy...

that she could fill a mall
with her adoring fans.

You guys are great kids.

Some of those insults were rad.

But just think about how
you could lift up the world...

if you turn some
of those barbs into roses.

Intermission's almost over.

Why don't you get back in there
and turn some of that jeering into cheering?

Nah, nah. I think I'm just gonna go home.

Probably do a new post
about how handsome Mark Harmon is.

Me too. I'm out.

I'm splitting too.

They say if you have nothing nice to say...

I'll be 18 in three years.

Wait for me?

Let me in.
Let me in.

Come on. It's raining.

We've all been looking for you.

Don't bother with the pep talk.
I'm not going back in there.
My demands were not met.

Have you read anything
about Aretha Franklin?

She was a gospel singer.

And one day she went to this show.

Nothing fancy. It was just a state fair.

And the master of ceremonies
hands her a tiara...

and calls her the Queen of Soul.

And that's how she earned her crown.

That's how she gained all of her respect.

Not by-by requesting
for special pillows or food,

but for doing
what she does best- singing.

I just don't get it.

Why are you a bigger star than me?

You always get the big solos,

the best songs, the moments in the sun.

Why is it never me?

I don't know.

You're just as good of a singer as I am.

- Yeah, and everyone actually likes me.
- That's your problem.

Because I would rather
be a star than be liked.

And I'm not saying that it's healthy,

and I'm not saying
that it's better than being loved.

But there's nothing, nothing
that I wouldn't do...

for the chance to be in the spotlight.

I just... really wanted that closing slot.

Well, if you want that closing slot,

then go in there and take it from me.

Where is everybody? Let's get on with it!

You're a really horrible person,
you know that?

You sound like my court-appointed therapist.

Pink Dagger, I'm gonna need
to speak with you right now.
Yes, General.

I had a feeling
you might be behind this.

You have no proof.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Holly Holliday.

Close enough to start a war

All that I have

Is on the floor

And God only knows
what we're fighting for

All that I say

You always say more

I can't keep up
with your turning tables

Under your thumb
I can't breathe

So I won't let you

Close enough to hurt me

No, I won't ask you

You to just desert me

I can't give you

What you think you gave me

It's time to say good-bye

To turning tables

Next time I'll be braver

I'll be my own savior

When the thunder calls for me

Next time I'll be braver

I'll be my own savior

Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you

Close enough to hurt me

No, I won't ask you

You to just desert me

I can't give you

What you think you gave me

It's time to say good-bye

To turning tables

Turning tables, yeah, yeah

Turning, yeah

Oh, yeah

Frankly, I resent your implication.
I'm a fantastic super villain.

Sandy, I just saw
Jacob Ben Israel, Azimio
and Becky Jackson...

leave the benefit
they were supposed to be ruining...

together in a car
with the license plate "JEW FRO."

I lost track of 'em.

I went into the bathroom.
When I came out, they were gone.

I was applying a light coat of powder...

and practicing catch phrases to use
when I really take someone down a peg.

Like?

You just got poked...
poked by the Dagger.

Your job was to crush their spirit.

And had you done that,
they would've closed up shop
by intermission.

Now get back in there...

and question the whole purpose
of arts education.

I'm getting back in there.
That Glee Club's
not gonna know what hit 'em!

I tried, but I don't think she's coming.

I need to start warming up.

Lauren, you're her manager.
Why don't you do something?

My client, Ms. Jones,
is not picking up her phone.

Oh.
So...

Ms. Jones is fine.

Wait. Shouldn't one of us
be carrying you in?

I have only one more demand.

I demand that all of you get
your butts out there and watch me sing.

Yeah! Holla!
You heard the woman.
Let's go.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Ms. Mercedes Jones.

Oh, dear God, I love this song.

Ain't no way

For me to love you

If you won't

Let me

Oh, no

I know that a woman's duty

Is to help and love a man

And that's the way it was planned

Oh, oh
It ain't no way

Ain't no way

It ain't no way

Ain't no way

It just ain't no way, baby

Ain't no way

Ain't no way, baby

Ain't no way

It ain't no way

For me to love you

If you won't

Let me

Stop trying to be

Someone you're not

And if you need me

To love you
Say

- Say, say you do
- Say, say, say you do

Oh, then, baby, baby, baby

- Don't you know that I
- Don't you

Need you?
Know that I need

Oh-oh

Ain't no way

I'll tell you that it ain't no way

It ain't no way,
it ain't no way, baby

Ain't no way

It just ain't no way

Ain't no way

It sure ain't no way

Ain't no way

It ain't no way

For me to love you

If you won't

Let me

All right, girl.

Time for the closing number.
Go bring the house down.

Are you kidding me?

Nobody could follow that.
The house has been brought down.

That was the closing number.

Bye.

Hey, hot stuff.
Hey.

How are the kids doing?
They were amazeballs tonight, right?

They're good.
Everyone's in the choir room.

They all wanna thank you
for helping out with the benefit
and the hecklers.

Why were you in the janitor's closet
with the door closed?

Oh. 'Cause I'm a sub,
and that's the office that Figgins gives me.

Guess what.

I just got offered a job
to teach French in Cleveland.

Isn't that great?

Uh... Full time?

No. Who are you talking to?
Four months, tops.

Don't you have any feelings
about leaving?

Didn't you listen to my song?

I told you while I live the glamorous life
of a substitute teacher,

I'm deathly allergic to commitment.

You knew that this
was gonna end this way.

Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

You're too nice for me.

But you broke my record... five dates.

You counted that one
we had in the janitor's closet yesterday?

That was my favorite one.

Mine too.

You think you're
ever gonna settle down?

Maybe.

But not with you.

You're in love with somebody else.

And thanks to my counseling,
she's available now.

And by the way, she's totally into you too.

Holly.

Will you come back and visit?

I thought you'd never ask.

Sandy. What are you doing in here?

I tried to be a hater,
but I just couldn't do it.

That song and the weed
I smoked immediately prior,

it gave me a change of heart.

Mr. Ryerson offered
to pay for our trip.
Bring it!

It's drug money, but, you know,

it's actually a fantastic way to launder it.

Good-bye, William.

I miss the arts. I really do.

You just got poked...

poked by the Dagger.

Thank you!
Whoo!

Detroit! Detroit! Detroit!
Detroit! Detroit! Detroit!

This is a disaster.

Pink Dagger, not only
did you fail to disrupt the Night of Neglect,

you funded it in full.

In fact, you were its only donor.

Aretha's my kryptonite.

Sergeant Handsome,
what do you have to say for yourself?

Hey, I did get them to break up.

Who knew it was gonna be amicable
and sort of have nothing to do with me?

I pulled Sunshine out of the benefit.
Don't I get credit for that?

No. In my hour of need,
Honey Badger, I turn to you.

Your time has come.

- At the end of regulation,
we're all tied up.

Excuse me. Mr. Remington?

We would just like to say hi
to our friends in Glee Club.

- We love you guys.
- Love you.

- And now...
- Love you.

The tiebreaker question.

The category:
Hermaphrodite Nazi Sympathizers.

English - US - PSDH