All language subtitles for Glee.S02E13.720p.BluRay.X264-REWARD_track3_eng [SubtitleTools.com]

Here's what you missed.

Puck's got a thing for Lauren.
She's not down with it.

- I don't think you're ready
for this jelly.
- Finn kissed Quinn,

who's supposed to be dating Sam,
and Rachel kissed Finn too,

but he didn't feel the fireworks.

- The cheek?
- Can you believe that?

Sue tried to shoot Brittany
out of a cannon
to win nationals,

but the only thing she won
was Katie Couric's
Loser of the Year.

I hate you, Diane Sawyer.

That's what you missed
on Glee.

I actually learned something
in my Spanish class today.

"Regresar."

Who knows what that means?

"To come back."

That's right.
I realized the old
Will Schuester was back.

Glee Club's going
to regionals, we got all
of Sue's Cheerios money,

I'm past Terri,
I'm over Emma.

"Come back."
Now, if we're gonna put it...

Will.

It's an emergency.

Becky Jackson opened
Sue's journal and found this.

"Good-bye, cruel world"?

She could be dead by now.

It's weird the door's open.

Sue? Sue?

No? All right.

Oh.

Sue.
Oh, my God.

Oh, Sue. Sue.

Wake up, Sue. Sue, wake up.
I don't feel a pulse.
She doesn't have a pulse.

Yeah, I do.

I just stopped my own heart.
It's my C. I.A. Training.

These gummy vitamins
didn't work at all.

I was told you take enough
vitamin "A," and you drift off
into a blissful oblivion.

Instead my face just got really hot,
and my jaw's sore
from all that chewing.

I have nothing to live for.

That's not untrue.

Emma, we did not come here
to give her a pep talk.

I'm sorry, Sue,
but you brought this
on yourself.

I am well aware
of my situation, Will.

After my humiliating failure
to qualify for nationals,

there is nothing for me...

or my Cheerios to do...

for the rest of the year.

Why don't you do what other
cheer squads do?

Namely cheer for the teams
at the school.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

Emma, let's go.

Sue, you are nasty,
manipulative and petty.

Will, you have more grease
in your hair...

than the guy behind WikiLeaks.

Oh. I for one am not gonna
play backup at your little
pity party.

Take it easy, Sue.

Hey.

Hi.

So I wanted to confirm
our date on Friday
at Color Me Mine.

Wait. You were serious
about that?

It's painting coasters time.

So, we good for Friday?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I don't think
I have anything else to do.

Cool.

Things have been weird since Quinn
got mono a couple weeks ago.

Everyone keeps telling me
that she must have kissed Finn,

but I believe it
when she told me
what really happened.

I didn't kiss Finn, Sam.
I saved his life.

He's not breathing!

I totally almost
choked on a gum ball once.

I know she's into me.

Just get the feeling
that I'm losing her.

I can't let that happen.

Quinn's the best thing
that's happened to me
since I got to this school.

But how?

Of course. My dad always said
there are two ways
to get a woman to love you:

Take her hunting
and rock and roll.

I knew what I had to do.

I mean, who's more rock and roll
than Justin Bieber?

No one. That's who.

The hair was step one.
Step two was booking
a couple of bat mitzvah gigs...

to test how my new
one-man band would go over.

Hey. I'm The Justin Bieber
Experience.

Baby, baby, baby, oh

Like baby, baby, baby

- No

Like baby, baby, baby, oh

-

Heads up, Quinn Fabray.

You're about to be hit
head-on with the full
blond Bieber.

Hey, Brittany.
We need to talk.

Why are my leg warmers
on your arms?

I got cold.
But no, we had a deal,
okay?

As I explained,
I am in the midst of
a career resurgence, okay?

I am done with boys,
and I am concentrating
fully on my career now.

The only way to make a complete
comeback is to dominate
popular discussion.

Maybe launch a trend or two.
I gave you half
of my allowance...

so you could take
a signature look of mine
and make it popular.

And we decided that leg warmers
were more likely to catch on
than reindeer sweaters.

Yes, precisely.
But it won't work if you insist
on wearing them incorrectly.

I didn't realize
that there were rules.

Of course there are rules.
Look. They're leg warmers.

Well, can I wear them
that way tomorrow?

I wore a tank top today
because I thought it was summer.

No one ever taught me
how to read a calendar.
Fine. Fine.

And when people ask you
who gave you the inspiration
for your new accessory,

you're gonna say,
"I'm just copying"...

I'm just copying
Rachel Berry.
Fantastic.

You know how I feel about hats!

Just 'cause.

None of you should be
making eye contact with me.

Get out! Go!

Get used to this abuse, Glee kids!

I got nothing but time.

Nothing but time.

I think she's dangerous.
Idle hands are the devil's playthings.

I mean, Sue's got nothing
to do now,

which means it's only a matter of time
before she starts coming after the Glee Club.

Hey, Will, Esmé.

So sorry for not being sorry for interrupting.

But would you mind if I borrowed
one of your rafters...

so I could hang myself?

I did a test run
back in my office,
and you know what?

There's asbestos up there,
and that can kill a person.

Sue, sit.

Now, I understand you're upset,

but life is beautiful.

Are you gonna tell me
there hasn't been one moment
since your epic decline...

that you haven't
felt yourself feel good
about something?

Well, yes, Will.
As a matter of fact,

there was...
there was one moment.

I was driving to work
this morning in my Le Car,

and Charlene's
"I've Never Been to Me"
came on the radio.

And when it got
to the chorus,

I just opened my mouth
and belted it out with her.

And I have to say,
it felt really good.

Sue should join the Glee Club.

I'm sorry?
I'd rather be dead.

Yes. She should...
I mean, you can't join,
but she can sit in.

Yes. Will.

Look. Sue is in a really bad
place right now.

And you're always talking about
the healing power of music.

There are studies
that show it helps
with depression,

it elevates the mood.

I have a pamphlet.

Emma, I don't think
this is a good idea at all.

I agree with
SpongeHair SquareChin.
It's a stupid idea.

The football team did it
for a spell, and that really
brought people together, Will.

And this is a great chance
for you to keep your eye on Sue.

You know, make sure
the old gal's okay.

Well, you know what, folks,
at this point, to alleviate
my crippling depression,

I'd do anything.

This cannot be happening.
This seems like a terrible idea.

Guys, it's not
up for discussion. Okay?

Now, it's no secret
that Coach Sylvester
has taken her licks.

I mean, just wanky.

And I believe she could use
a little sympathy from us.

Sympathy? From us? Uh-uh.

Yeah, all she's ever done
is make our lives miserable.

She got exactly
what she deserved.

You're lucky I left
my blowgun at home, air bags,

'cause I got a clear shot
at your nonnies.

Guys. Coach Sylvester
has had her recent setbacks,
but she is a proven champion.

Now, we could do worse
than to have that kind of
a winning record in our midst.

Let me break it down for you.
I am no longer a threat
to you people, all right?

I'm just hoping
that your singing
and dancing around...

will pull me out of my doldrums
and give me a reason to live.

Is that too much to ask?

Guys, it's settled.
Sue's gonna be with us
for the week.

Now, I received an envelope
in the mail today.

- We know that we're facing
Kurt and the Warblers at regionals.
- Sweet Porcelain.

And it looks like this year...

we face Aural Intensity again.

They cleaned our clock
last year.

Seems like the governing board
has assigned a theme
to this year's regionals,

and part of our score
will be based upon
how well we interpret it.

This year's theme: Anthem.

Now, who can tell us
what an anthem is?

It's the bottom
of an ant's pants.

So close. So close. No.

An anthem is an epic song,

filled with a... a groundswell
of emotion that somehow
seems bigger than itself-

even bigger than
the person performing it.

- Mr. Schue.
- Oh, hey, Sam.
I didn't even notice your new haircut.

- Yeah. I've been working on
a new image...

to go with my new one-man band,
The Justin Bieber Experience.

You've got to be kidding me.

Dude, that haircut
makes your mouth
look even bigger.

Let her speak.

Laugh all you want,
but that kid's an epic talent,

and there's a number
I've been working on that
I've been wanting to show off.

And I think it qualifies
as an anthem, because...

it's just hugely emotional
and sums up our generation.

All right.
Let's hear it, buddy.

I'm offended.

He'll be good.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

You know you love me
I know you care

Just shout whenever
and I'll be there

You want my love
You want my heart

- And we will never, ever
- This is actually
a really good song.

Be apart

Are we an item?

- Whoo!
- Girl, quit playin'

Whoo!
"We're just friends"?
What are you saying?

Say there's another
and look right in my eyes

My first love broke my heart
for the first time

And I was like
baby, baby, baby, oh

Like baby, baby, baby, no

Like baby, baby, baby, oh

I thought you'd
always be mine

Oh, oh, oh
For you, I would have done
whatever

- Whoo!
- And I just can't believe
we ain't together

And I want to play it cool,
but I'm losing you

I'll buy you anything
I'll buy you any ring

Ooh!
And I'm in pieces

Baby, fix me

And just shake me
till you wake me
from this bad dream

I'm going down,
down, down, down

And I just can't believe
my first love
won't be around

And I'm like
baby, baby, baby, oh

Like baby, baby, baby, no

Like baby, baby, baby, oh

I thought you'd always
be mine

I'm gone

Now I'm all gone

Gone, gone

I'm gone

The Biebster.

I gotta get that girl
on my Cheerios.

We want in.

- In what?
- The Justin Bieber Experience.
We want in the band.

- But it's a one-man band.
- So, expand.

I don't get it. You guys
were totally making fun of me
for singing Bieber.

That's because we underestimated
the power of the Biebs.

He's clearly like a mini-god.

Look how you made
all those chicks melt in Glee Club.

- Now think about the power
of four Biebers.
- We'd be unstoppable.

All of our relationships
are in the standard
post-Valentine's Day lull.

Are you playing Angry Birds?

Sorry.
Want me to show you
my abs?

If you want to.

Here's what happens
to the female chemistry.

They get a huge shot of
endorphins on Valentine's Day,
and everything is heightened...

and so romantic.

The problem is, days later,
when they come down
from their See's candy high,

they crash, and everything else
by comparison is humdrum.

We need a sugary-sweet jolt
of the Biebs to get us
some action again.

- Why do you want in, Puckerman?
- I'm at the end
of my Lauren Zizes rope.

- I'll try anything to get
into those enormous pants.
- Uh, what's goin' on?

We're joining
The Justin Bieber Experience,
if Sam's cool with it.

And if not,
we're starting our own band.
Bieber Fever.

Wait, wait. You guys do realize
that Justin Bieber sucks, right?

Quinn seemed to be
pretty into him when I was
singing in Glee Club.

Right. Well, I'm gonna spend
my time working on songs...

that aren't geared
toward 12-year-olds.
Good.

Then you won't have time
to pick up any other guys' girlfriends.
Hey. Back off, man.

I didn't kiss your girlfriend.
She saved my life.

So, what do you say?
Are we in?

Fine. But we need to
figure out something to do
with Puckerman's hair.

Oh, no.

Those are really cute.
Thanks.

No way.

You're a genius.
They have changed my life.

I didn't know my arms
could be so toasty.

You're a hero.
You should win some kind of award.

What are you doing?
I'm so sorry, Rachel.
It just sort of caught on.

I see that. Okay?
That is not
what we agreed upon.

I want my allowance back
right now.
It's already gone.

My uncle lost his job,
and his goat was going hungry,
so I spent it on food for the goat.

I mean, sort of.
The goat just ate the money.

Okay. The only way to proceed
is for you to come to school
dressed exactly like me.

What is that look called?
Sexy schoolgirl
librarian chic.

All right. You'd better
get a move on, okay?
Kids "R" Us closes at 6:00 p.m. Sharp.

Go, Brittany.

Dear journal,
my lust for life is renewed.

I have found myself dropped
behind enemy lines,

poised to destroy
the Glee Club from within.

Schuester and his
guidance counselor Ginger...

fell for my pity party
hook, line and sinker.

And now I'm in and ready
to sink them once and for all.

Thus begins my plan.
I will pit these Glee Clubbers
against one another,

rupturing the group internally
until it explodes like a ripe zit.

- You wanted to see me?

Yes. Mercedes, have a seat.

So I've decided I'm going to
sing a song in Glee Club,
and I need your advice.

Now, as you may know,
I have a background in music.

For a brief period,
I was the tambourine player
for Wilson Phillips.

What I need to learn from you
is how to be a diva.

Oh. Well, you've definitely
come to the right girl.

I mean, being a diva
is all about attitude,
something I know you're not short on.

It's all about sassy fingers
and shaking that weave,

and generally taking
no nonsense from nobody.

Dig it, sister.

Well, I have to say
I'm flattered and shocked
that you came to me.

Oh, come now, Ra-chelle.
It doesn't humble me too much
to say I simply need your tutelage.

Well, I'll say this.
Being a diva
is all about emotion.

In fact, you feel so much
emotion that it cannot be
physically contained.

Sometimes you have to
close your eyes
and turn your head...

and push, push
your feelings away!

They're that big!

Wow. Well, that Mercedes
is wrong about you.

What?

What did she say?
Oh, I don't remember
the specifics.

Just something about you're not
as talented as you think you are
and all your ideas are horrible.

I don't know.
Something like that.

- She said what?
- Yep. Quote:

"Not that talented."

There you are.
I heard what
you said about me.

I heard what you said
about me.

Just when I thought
we were friends.

I guess that will just
never happen, will it?
I guess not.

You know, there's only
one "l" in "diva," Rachel,
and that "l" is me.

Guess we're just
gonna have to settle this
the old-fashioned way.

Diva-off.
Tomorrow, Glee Club.

Why not right now?
'Cause I have to go get
my cross-trainers.

Want to know why?
I'm gonna be doing
some runs.

So, Friday night,

I figured we'd check out
the Sullivan Rink.

They have ice rink
bumper cars.

I told you.
I haven't decided
what I'm doing yet.

Sweet Jesus. Who bought
tickets to Crazy Town?

All right. Looks like
the guys here are ready
to give us their anthem.

Hey, everybody.
We are the new and improved
The Justin Bieber Experience,

and we think this song
is an anthem because
everything Bieber does is epic.

- Truth.
- Anyway,

this song,
like all the songs I sing,

is for my girlfriend, Quinn.

Hit it.

Gotta, gotta keep it
Feels so right

Gotta, gotta
Gotta, gotta keep it close
Oh

Feels so right

Oh, oh
For you I'd write a symphony

I'd tell the violin
it's time to sink or swim

Watch them play for ya

- For you I'd be
- Whoa, whoa

Running a thousand miles,
just get to where you are

Step to the beat of my heart

I don't need a whole lot

But for you I admit
I'd rather give you
the world

Or we can share mine

I know I won't be
the first one giving you
all this attention

Baby, listen

I just need somebody to love

I don't need too much
Just somebody to love

Somebody to love

I don't need nothing else
I promise, girl
I swear

I just need somebody to love

I need somebody
I... I need somebody

Every day

I'll bring the sun around

I sweep away the clouds
Smile for me

I would take
every second
every single time

Spend it like my last dime

Step to the beat of my heart

I don't need a whole lot

But for you I admit
I'd rather give you
the world

Or let you share mine

I know I won't be
the first one giving you
all this attention

Baby, listen

- I just need
somebody to love
- No, no, no, no, no

I don't need too much
Just somebody to love

- Somebody to love
- Oh, I

I don't need nothing else
I promise, girl
I swear

I just need somebody to love

Somebody to love
Somebody to love

Oh, oh, oh

- I need somebody
- I swear, I just need
somebody to love

Whoo!

Bieber!

Nice.

Need a towel.

Hey!

Uh, I actually
can't do Friday.

Hey, Lauren.
So, uh, what'd you think?

Honestly,

although my love
would crush him,

I'm totally turned on
by the Biebster.

That is, until I remember
that he looks like he's 12,
then it's sort of creepy.

So if I were gonna
give you a grade, C-plus.

Listen, Zizes.
I'm dying here.

You got me every which way,
and we both know
I'm not the brightest.

So, please, what do I have to do
to get with you?

I may have
a proposition for you.

I'll keep you posted.

Color Me Mine?

I'll color you
yours any day.

Mmm. Sammy Evans.
You are Biebalicious.

How are things going
with you and Quinn?
Fine.

No, they're not.

You and I should, uh,
talk soon.

Sam's an artist, Finn.

An artist? I guess that's why
he's taking you
to Color Me Mine.

I told you I needed time
to figure out what I was
gonna do with Sam, and I did.

I choose him.
Because of
The Justin Bieber Experience?

Look. I thought it was
gonna be stupid too,

but he was so shameless.

He just got up there
and owned it.

It was sexy. I'm sorry, Finn.

But like I said,
Sam's an artist,

and at the end of the day...

It really turns me on.

Do dudes ever get erections
when they wrestle with you?

Shut it, Puckerman.
We're here to talk business.

Sorry.

Okay. I want to do a number
for Glee Club.

It's stage one
of my master plan.

Shibby.
So, what, you want me
to back you up on my ax?

Yeah, but I also need
some advice.

I'm a little bit nervous
about singing
in front of a crowd.

Up until now I've only ever
really sung in the steam shower.
Hot.

But ridiculous.
I mean, you're the most
confident chick I know.

Yeah, I know
I'm hot, melted butter,

but singing is different,
and I want to be great.

Or at least as good as Berry.

I get nervous before I sing too,
but I always overcome.

You want to know
my secret?
Yeah.

Oldest trick in the book.
Just picture the audience
in their underwear.

Even the dudes?
It's not about sex.

It's just about
seeing the audience
as more vulnerable than you.

Trust me.
It works every time.

Can I touch
your knockers now?
Only if you want to lose a hand.

But you're on your way.

Remember,
I want this diva-off
to be a bloodbath.

Oh, trust.
It's about to go down.

You look amazing.
I really do.

This look has to go viral.
Is there any way you can cut class
for the rest of the day,

just so you could walk down
the halls?

Totally. Most teachers think
by cutting class I might
improve my grades.

Great.

Why are you dressed like that?
I thought you weren't
into the Biebster.

Well, I wasn't,
but then somebody told me...

that Justin Bieber's,
like, the king of YouTube,
with over a billion views.

An anthem is supposed to
appeal to the masses, right?

So, before I pick my anthem,
I was working on
my anthem look.

Okay, guys and gals.
And Sue.

It's the moment
we've all been waiting for,
our next diva-off.

So here they are,
sure to give us a fantastic anthem,
Mercedes and Rachel.

Let's give it up!

After much argument,
I finally convinced Mercedes that,
in order to do a proper diva-off,

it has to come from
the Broadway catalog.

Which I think is safe to say
that that gives me
a home field advantage.

Oh, well, you're about to
get beat on your own turf.
Hit it.

Y eah

Yeah, hey

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Every single day
I walk down the street

I hear people say
"Baby, so sweet"

Ever since puberty
everybody stares at me

Boys, girls
I can't help it, baby

So be kind
and don't lose your mind

Just remember
that I'm your baby

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me, baby

Or leave me

Take me, baby, or leave me

A tiger in a cage
can never see the sun

This diva needs her stage
Baby, let's have fun

You are the one I choose

Folks would kill
to fill your shoes

You love the limelight too
now, baby

So be mine
and don't waste my time

Cryin', "Oh, honey bear,
are you still
my... my... my baby?"

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me, baby,
or leave me

No way
can I be what I'm not

But hey, don't you want
your girl hot?

Don't fight
Don't lose your head

'Cause every night
who's in your bed?

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

- Take me, baby
- Oh, take me, baby

- Or leave me
- Or leave me

Take me, baby

Or leave me

Guess I'm leaving

I'm gone

- Oh, my God!
That was so great!

No. Her. What about her?
No. Her.

Awesome.
Hey. Where's the hate?

Not the point
of Glee Club, Sue.

- I understand
you wish to see me.
- Yeah, Sue. I did.

I saw how you were
in class today.

What are you doing
tomorrow night?
I want to take you somewhere.

No, no. No way.
I don't care how depressed I am.
I will not date a curly.

Not on a date, Sue.
- Still probably not gonna go.

You're interested in making
your comeback, right?

Well, I think it's important
that you see something.

Hate 'em.
Hate hospitals, William.

That's why I keep voting
for those death panels.

Sue, I know you.
You crack jokes whenever
you get uncomfortable.

Not really joking,
William.

And you have a penchant
for sappy scenarios
set to music,

so I demand to know
where we're going.

We're going to
the pediatric cancer ward.

No, no, no.
Once a month,
I come down here,

and I sing songs with some of
the kids getting long-term care.
Yep, no.

No. Sue.

Uh, William, I know
what you're getting at.

I have been selfish. Yes, I was
ridiculed on the national stage,
but you're right.

It's nothing when you compare it
to what many people have to
deal with and come back from.

I should be grateful.
Well, congratulations.
I've learned my lesson.

Then let's celebrate.
Let's sing with some kids.

Look. You're right.
Sometimes Glee Club
is a little silly.

But we push through the weird
to get to the real stuff.

I mean, music can get
at a part of us
that's hard to open up to.

But, please,

go there with me.

I think it'll be
good for you, Sue.

No outfits.
No jazz hands.

Just... music.

Fine. And, William,
I don't care how adorable
those kids are.

If I hear one song
from that classic rock
outfit Journey,

I will start
pulling catheters.

Come on.

Bailey.

- Hi, guys!

Hi, Will.
- Oh, hey. My man.

Hi.

Oh, my God.
You're Sue Sylvester.
I just saw you on TV.

Oh.
Hey, guys.

This lady was interviewed
by Katie Couric.

Holy sweet baby Jesus.

What do you say, guys?
You ready to make
some music?

- Yeah!
Yeah! Let's do this thing.

Brought my special
little guy with me.

Yeah!
Yeah! All right!

All right. And that's
all there is to it.

- So, does everyone
know their parts?
- Yes.

- Sue?
- My kids are gonna
mop the floor with your kids.

Not a chance. All right.
I'm gonna sing the first two,

and, uh, then you guys
come in and join me,
just like we practiced.

- All right?
Okay.

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine

Hide it under a bushel.

Hide it under a bushel
No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Hide it under a bushel
No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Hide it under a bushel
No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine

Aw.
Give yourselves a hand.
All right.

Good job.

I'll never
forgive you for this.

Deal.

Look, Q. I know that
we've had our differences,
but I can't lie.

That outfit is
amazing on you.
It looks good on everyone.

Penny loafers and tights...
genius.
Outrageous.

I mean, my carousel horse sweater
should make me look like
an institutionalized toddler,

but no, I look
hot and smart.

I feel like Michelle Obama.

Oh, my God.
You guys look amazing.

Seriously.
She's a genius and an icon.

Who is?

Brittany.
Who did you think?

Who knew that taking off
that Cheerios uniform...

would turn her into
a fashion institution.

Is this a joke?

No. That sweater is.
Who wears a reindeer sweater?

Uh, all three of you.

No. This is
a carousel horse.

If you want to know
what to wear,
just look to Brittany.

Look. She took
the look from me, okay?

- I paid her.
- You're a terrible liar,
Rachel.

I can't believe
you would take this away
from poor Brittany.

It's sad.
You're just sad.

Hey! I need to talk to you.
I want my money back.

Well, I used it
to pay a publicist.

What?
Jacob Ben Israel posted
a photo,

and this Web site
called The Sartorialist named me
the Trendiest Girl in America.

Brittany, I'm trying to stage
a comeback here.

Okay, but what exactly
are you coming back from?

I...
Listen, Rachel. I'm gonna give you
some tough love right now.

You're not a trendsetter.
When people look at you,
they don't see what you're wearing.

They see a cat
getting its temperature taken,
and then they hear it screaming.

I'm really sorry,
but I have to go.

I have an interview
with Teen Vogue.

All right.
Let's get right down to it.

Starting us off,
and making her New Directions
solo debut, Miss Lauren Zizes.

Whoo, ooh!

So what are you gonna
sing for us, Lauren?

Here's how I see it.
I know I'm the hottest bitch
in this joint.

If I was a country,
my flag would be a big fist
giving the rest of the world a finger,

and this would be
my national anthem.
Okay.

Puckerman, grab your guitar.

Tina, Brittany, ready?
Good.

Awesome. Supercool.

Okay.

- Two, three, four.
-

I know what boys like

I know what guys want

I see them looking

I make them want me

I like to tease them

- I know what boys like

Boys like

Boys like me

I see you're sad now

I will let you

Sorry I teased you

I will let you

This time I mean it

I will let you

Anything you want

You can trust me

I really want to

You can trust me

How would you like it?

You can trust me

Sucker!

I got my cat moves

That so upset them

Zippers and buttons

Fun to frustrate them

They get so angry

Like pouty children

Denied their candy

I laugh right at them

- I know what boys like
- Whoo!

Boys like

Boys like me

Whoo!

Ow!

- How fricking hot is she?

What was that?

This morning I woke up
and decided to swallow the sun.

That's my James Earl Jones
impression.

First of all,
that is offensive.

He shot Martin Luther King.

Obi-Wan never told you
what happened to your father.

Okay, you know what?
Let's just cut to the chase.

Despite the fact
that your mouth-to-face ratio
is, like, way off,

you still somehow
manage to be cute.

But make no mistake.
Every time you open
your humongous mouth...

to do an impression,
or moisten an enormous stamp
for a lazy giant,

you take one step closer
to everyone seeing
that you are actually a dork.

Which is where I come in.
I hereby offer my services
as a mistress.

I wants on them froggy lips,
and I wants on 'em now.

But I'm dating Quinn.
And this just in:
She cheated on you.

- No, she didn't.
- Look. I know you're as dumb
as a bag of wet hair,

but you know in your heart
she's lying.

That gum ball story was insane.

You're choosing to believe it
so you can still be with her.

But consider my offer.

Not only am I giving you
full visitation rights...

to the set of rambunctious twins
that live on my rib cage,

you get the chance to show
that pastry bag Finn
that he can't mess with Sam Evans.

And not just because you can
unlock your humongous jaw...

and swallow him whole
like a python,

but because you have
some buzz at this school.

Think about it.

Will, you have a problem.

You?

No. Your Glee kids.

They have no comprehension skills.
Your assignment was anthems,

and I'll be damned
as your hairdresser
if any of them sung a single one.

Sue, are you trying to tell me
that you want to perform an anthem?

Well, I'll admit that, uh,
your little field trip
to the house of sad...

inspired me a bit.

But I'm not gonna go it alone.
The whole crew has to
sing it with me.

And here's the catch:
No more Bieber.

No hoodies.
No pocket lesbian Bieber hair.

Well, that can be arranged.

What's your song?

Sing it out

Boy, you've got to see
what tomorrow brings

Sing it out

Girl, you've got to be
what tomorrow needs

For every time
that they want to
count you out

And use your voice

Ooh
Every single time

You open up your mouth

Sing it for the boys

Sing it for the girls

Every time that you lose it,
sing it for the world

Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts

Sing it out for the ones
that'll hate your guts

Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind

Sing about everyone
that you left behind

Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Cleaned up
Corporation progress

Dying in the process

Buy yourself the motivation
Generation nothing

Nothing but a dead scene
Product of a white dream

I am not the singer
that you wanted
but a dancer

I refuse to answer
Talk about the passer

Ruling for the ones
who want to get away

Keep runnin'

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls

Every time that you lose it,
sing it for the world

Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts

Sing it out for the ones
that'll hate your guts

Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind

Sing about everyone
that you left behind

Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

We've got to see
what tomorrow brings

Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Boy, you've got to be
what tomorrow needs

Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Whoo! Yeah!

Hey. Do you think
I could borrow
one of your T-shirts...

to use as a smock tonight
at Color Me Mine?

I kind of have a thing
for wearing my boyfriend's shirts.

We're not going to
Color Me Mine.

And I'm not
your boyfriend.

Wait. Why?

Because you can't look me
in the eye right now...

and tell me that you didn't
make out with Finn.

I want to be with you, Sam.

Forget it, okay?
No harm, no foul.

Oel ngati kameie.

Crap. Santana told me
to stop speaking Na'vi.

Since when is Santana
telling you what to do?

Since we started going out.

I thought you'd
always be mine

I'm gone

When did that happen?
All right.

I hate to say it,
but I think we all owe Sue
a big thank-you.

She may hate us,
but she did give us
a kick-butt song for regionals.

Yeah, she did.
Yeah.

That's right.
That's right.

Mr. Schuester,
I think that our admiration
for Coach Sylvester...

might just be
a little premature.

While I love My Chemical Romance,
and I think we all kicked butt
on that number,

as our team leader
and arbiter of all that is good,

I have to say
that I don't think that that song
is good enough for regionals.

The Warblers have
Kurt and Blaine as their, like,
one-two punch,

and Aural Intensity
kicked our butt last year.

We can't just do
any song to beat
either of those teams.

You mean a number
where you don't get to sing
the entire song.

- Guys, this isn't about me.
- What do you suggest, Rachel?

We need to be bold and epic.

We need to write our own
original music for regionals.

We need an undisputable advantage.

Check out dwarf Diane Warren.

Look. We can't lose regionals
again this year, you guys.
Okay? You have to trust me.

I feel really, really
strongly about this.

Let's put it to a vote.
Okay, Rachel?

All those in favor
of doing an original song?

Chemical Romance?

Hey there, buddy.
Sue.

You know, I have to be honest.
We missed you in here today.

Mmm.
Oddly, you're, uh,
kind of a fun addition.

Oh, Will. Charles Manson
would have been a fun addition
to your pack of losers.

Well, looks like
you're back to
your old self.

Ah, hardly.
I'm on my way to becoming
someone much better.

You've inspired me, Will.
You've made me realize...

I have more to offer the world
than coming up with...

spectacular life-threatening
cheerleading tumbles.

I got the music in me.

Sue, that is great.

I mean, with that attitude
you are welcome
in here anytime.

Oh, I couldn't do that.
It'd be spying on the competition.

What?

No one told you?
I got a part-time gig.

Yeah, I'm the new coach
for Aural Intensity.

That's impossible.

Oh, nothing's impossible, Will,
when you have a positive attitude.

You taught me that.
Isn't it great?

Geez, I got my mojo back,

still get to dedicate my life
to destroying yours.

Life's good.

See you at regionals.

You must be happy.
Why is that?

Quinn's back on the market.
I mean, she'll be easy pickings
after what Sam did to her.

I don't want to
talk about Quinn.
I want to talk about you.

You were right in there today
about that number
not being good enough to win.

We need to write
our own songs.

Why didn't you say that
when I needed you?

It wouldn't have made
a difference. The only way
to prove it to those guys...

is to write a great song
and shove it down their throats.

Well, do you think
that you and I should
do it together?

No, I think you should
do it yourself.

Let's face it.
You're the real trendsetter
in there,

and if someone was gonna
write a song to win regionals,
it would be you.

You really believe in me
that much?

More.

You know,

I really like the Rachel
that I saw in there today.

Reminded me of the old you.

Focused and take no prisoners.

I think she might be
making a comeback.

English - US - PSDH