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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:17,650 Hello? 2 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,150 Mr McGuire? 3 00:02:20,930 --> 00:02:21,930 Can you hear me? 4 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:27,030 Just wanted to say I saw what happened and it wasn't your fault. 5 00:02:29,210 --> 00:02:32,430 If you want me to go to the police, I'd be happy to make a statement. 6 00:02:35,090 --> 00:02:36,670 Maybe I should just do that. 7 00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:39,410 Hello? 8 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,110 Sorry, who is this? 9 00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:43,710 My name is Simon. 10 00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:47,470 I saw the incident tonight outside of your club. 11 00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:50,390 Well, I filmed the whole thing. 12 00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:55,550 You'd better come up. 13 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:04,220 - Let me take a photo of you! - Read my lips... 14 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,660 I don't get why you're being so... 15 00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:08,150 - I don't care! - Get off right now! 16 00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:10,100 You can see, he's the one that touches you first, 17 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:11,700 and all you did was push him back. 18 00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:13,540 Exactly. It was an accident. 19 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:14,660 Oh, definitely. 20 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,630 He just came up to me and started yelling. 21 00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:19,980 - Did you recognise him? - No. 22 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:21,740 Never seen him before in my life. 23 00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:24,500 You have actually met him a dozen times at various conventions. 24 00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:25,590 His name's Gavin. 25 00:03:26,090 --> 00:03:29,460 - Well, he could've had a knife, or anything. - Oh, yes. 26 00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:31,500 And that's why you had to smash his head on the cobbles. 27 00:03:31,530 --> 00:03:33,750 - I didn't do that! - I know. 28 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,260 Like you said, it was... an accident. 29 00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:39,190 Is that the National Television Award that we won for season three? 30 00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:40,490 "We"? 31 00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:43,870 Well... voted for by the fans. 32 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:45,990 Can I touch it? 33 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:48,350 They're heavy, aren't they? 34 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,550 Smash someone's brains in with this! 35 00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:57,340 Listen, Simon, I'm thinking it might be best to get rid of this. 36 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:59,460 Better not to have it on record. You see what I'm saying? 37 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,500 Oh, but it proves that you're innocent. 38 00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:04,260 Even so... I think I should delete it. 39 00:04:04,290 --> 00:04:05,710 Oh, no, I... 40 00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:08,930 Oh, well. 41 00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:12,660 - So, do you think he'll want to press charges? - Who? 42 00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:14,270 This Gavin chap. 43 00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:16,430 I shouldn't think so. He's dead. 44 00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:18,170 What? 45 00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:21,710 Yeah, I checked on him after you'd ran off, and he wasn't breathing. 46 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:23,850 Oh, God! 47 00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:31,950 Don't worry. 48 00:04:32,530 --> 00:04:33,750 I sorted it for you. 49 00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:36,470 No-one will ever know you even touched him. 50 00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:42,630 I have to say, though, he did have a point. 51 00:04:43,090 --> 00:04:44,090 What do you mean? 52 00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:46,270 Well, what he was saying about season seven. 53 00:04:47,610 --> 00:04:48,340 Not this again. 54 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,100 Well, some people did think the ending was... 55 00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:52,820 We always knew the ending was going to be deliberately low-key. 56 00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:54,950 - Or boring. - It wasn't boring! 57 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:56,950 It was diminuendo. 58 00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:59,540 Ninth Circle was always a very cerebral show. 59 00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:00,700 Very dialogue-led. 60 00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:03,310 Anyway, now's not the time to be debating this! 61 00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:06,710 What did you mean when you said you've "Sorted it"? 62 00:05:07,130 --> 00:05:09,020 - I moved him. - Why? 63 00:05:09,050 --> 00:05:10,740 Well, so he wouldn't be found outside your club. 64 00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:12,380 All the fan community know that you go there, 65 00:05:12,410 --> 00:05:14,220 especially after award ceremonies. 66 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:17,300 I'm sorry you didn't win, by the way, but that was hardly a surprise, was it? 67 00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,070 I don't think they should've booed you, though. 68 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:22,750 - You moved the body? - Yeah. 69 00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:24,820 I dragged him down to Embankment and threw him in the Thames. 70 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:25,700 So, now he'll just be another drunk 71 00:05:25,730 --> 00:05:27,550 that fell off the bridge in the middle of the night. 72 00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:29,430 Why would you do that, Simon? 73 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,750 You've tampered with a crime scene! 74 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,070 You ran off! 75 00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:35,300 I did it for you, Mr McGuire. 76 00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:37,180 Nobody saw me. I was only trying to help. 77 00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:40,390 What were you doing skulking in the shadows videoing me, anyway? 78 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:42,910 I have a podcast. 79 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,620 - 'Course you fucking do. - It's called Circum Venting. 80 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,820 I was hoping to catch you and ask you a few questions maybe. 81 00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:49,740 I mean, sometimes, after you've had a few drinks, 82 00:05:49,770 --> 00:05:51,390 you do actually talk to the fans. 83 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:53,100 Obviously, you weren't in the mood tonight - 84 00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:56,710 - as poor Gavin can testify. - He was the one who attacked me! 85 00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:04,470 Well... I can see you've got a bit of clearing up to do. 86 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,230 Maybe I should be on my way. 87 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,350 Can I have my phone back, please? 88 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:17,750 Let me give you some money for a black cab. 89 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:19,550 It's the least I can do. 90 00:06:20,850 --> 00:06:23,260 - Where do you have to get to? - Sunderland. 91 00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:24,870 Not sure it'll take me that far. 92 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,670 I'll make me way to King's Cross, and I'll sleep on a bench. 93 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:30,860 I hope the police don't question me. 94 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,190 I'm not very good under pressure. 95 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,310 It's lovely to meet you, anyway. 96 00:06:35,170 --> 00:06:36,750 Listen, Simon. 97 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:40,140 All things considered, it might be best if you stay here tonight 98 00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,350 and leave first thing in the morning. 99 00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:44,710 You can sleep in the guest room. 100 00:06:45,810 --> 00:06:48,950 Is that where you keep the severed head of Thaxos from season two? 101 00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:51,550 - It is, yes. - Oh, my God. 102 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,290 I can't believe it. 103 00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:55,430 Thank you, Mr McGuire. 104 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,510 The fans are going to be so jealous. 105 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,410 Morning. 106 00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:27,730 Did you sleep well? 107 00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:30,310 Not really. How about you? 108 00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,870 No. I was too excited. 109 00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:34,580 Well, maybe you should be making a move. 110 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:37,900 I made you a coffee, by the way. Black with two sugars, isn't it? 111 00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:39,590 Yes. Thank you. 112 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:41,580 I looked for a grapefruit, 113 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:43,820 cos I read in Empire that's part of your breakfast routine, 114 00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:45,510 but I couldn't find any. 115 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,950 I only do that when I'm writing. 116 00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:49,450 I know. 117 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,710 That's why I wanted it. 118 00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:58,460 When you were approached by Gavin, he was brandishing this notebook. 119 00:07:58,490 --> 00:08:00,590 - Do you remember? - Vaguely. 120 00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:03,220 Well, last night, I shoved it in my bag and I forgot all about it, 121 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,910 but I took it out and I started to read. 122 00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:10,310 He's written a whole alternative finale for Ninth Circle. 123 00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:12,230 And Spencer... 124 00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:15,190 Can I call you Spencer? 125 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:17,510 It is brilliant. 126 00:08:17,610 --> 00:08:18,910 Fanfiction? 127 00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,740 Well, no, it's more sophisticated than that. 128 00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:22,940 He clearly knows his stuff. 129 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:26,100 For example, we actually get to see who lights the Flame of Aurora. 130 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,740 Nobody lights the Flame of Aurora. 131 00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:29,420 It's extinguished in the flood. 132 00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:31,740 I know, literally a damp squib. Anyway, Gavin's fixed that. 133 00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:35,060 And we finally get a proper ending for the whole Dante/Carter relationship. 134 00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:37,460 What relationship? They don't have a relationship! 135 00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:39,900 Oh, that's not fair. You were baiting us in that direction 136 00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:41,980 - since the Pantheon episode. - No, I wasn't! 137 00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,700 The scene in the desert where he's sucking his arm. 138 00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,700 That was to get the snake venom out! 139 00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:47,340 It's one of the seven trials! 140 00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:50,620 Well, anyway, they finally get together, and it's really satisfying. 141 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:53,430 They're two heterosexual men. 142 00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:56,500 Besides which, Carter died in the series six finale. 143 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:57,660 Yeah, and that was another mistake. 144 00:08:57,690 --> 00:08:59,700 Gavin's brought him back. Just read it, please. 145 00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:00,660 I can't read it. 146 00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,470 My agent would never allow it. 147 00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:05,740 Well... it's funny you should say that, 148 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,740 cos she's actually on her way over to have a meeting about it. 149 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:10,350 And, contrary to what you might think, she sounded really keen. 150 00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:12,630 What do you mean, she's on her way over?! 151 00:09:13,130 --> 00:09:15,500 Please don't be mad, but I used your phone when you were in the shower. 152 00:09:15,530 --> 00:09:17,420 - What?! - Just thought it was worth putting in a call 153 00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:18,900 and sounding her out about it. 154 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:21,300 She loves the idea, and she's delighted you've relented. 155 00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:25,710 I haven't relented! This is just a fantasy world, Simon. 156 00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:28,780 - I think you should go! - Well, I...I can't go. 157 00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:30,740 I said I'd stay here and take notes at the meeting. 158 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,660 There isn't going to be a meeting. 159 00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:34,310 But what about my podcast? 160 00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:37,070 I'm not going to do your stupid fucking podcast. 161 00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:40,500 - Do you know how many times a week I get asked to do podcasts? - No. 162 00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,460 Well, let me tell you, it's a lot! 163 00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:45,870 And it gives me great pleasure to say "No" to every single one of them. 164 00:09:52,770 --> 00:09:53,950 Oh, well, I'm sorry. 165 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,910 At least I've got some video footage of you from last night. 166 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,670 Maybe I could put that up instead. 167 00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:09,530 Come up. 168 00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:14,110 Was that a threat? 169 00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,230 Are you threatening me? 170 00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:21,230 I deleted that footage, remember? 171 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,130 From the phone. 172 00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:26,790 It's still in the Cloud. 173 00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:31,310 Don't look at me like that, Spencer. 174 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,830 I'm on your side, remember? 175 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:45,140 Hello. Loretta Lamb. 176 00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:46,740 - You must be Simon. - That's right, yes. 177 00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:48,110 Lovely to meet you at last. 178 00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:51,900 I've been telling Spencer for ages to get himself a PA. 179 00:10:51,930 --> 00:10:53,430 Hello, darling! 180 00:10:54,410 --> 00:10:56,150 What a lovely surprise! 181 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,140 Sorry about the awards last night. 182 00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:01,340 It's all meaningless, as you know. 183 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,460 Except when one of my clients wins, 184 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,940 in which case, it's absolutely the right decision. 185 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:07,340 Did you have a late night? 186 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:09,740 Er, no, no, I-I just came straight back home. 187 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,380 Eddie said he saw you at your club. 188 00:11:11,410 --> 00:11:13,140 Well, I had a swift one, obviously, but... 189 00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:15,550 He wanted to be fresh for today's meeting. 190 00:11:16,770 --> 00:11:19,270 - It's exciting, isn't it? - Yes. 191 00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:21,150 I have to say, I'm very shocked. 192 00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,310 Why the U-turn? 193 00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:26,100 You said you'd rather cut your own dick off and sit in vinegar 194 00:11:26,130 --> 00:11:27,830 than go back to Ninth Circle. 195 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:29,630 Did you really say that? 196 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:32,420 Well, I've been working on this show for 12 years. 197 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:34,830 Which is why I'm so surprised you wanted to bring it back! 198 00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:38,540 I thought you wanted to have a crack at something a bit more Jimmy McGovern-y. 199 00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:40,980 You know, all that yearning and Universal Credit. 200 00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:44,300 Something to dampen the gussets of the awards panels. 201 00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:45,990 Oh, sounds a bit grim. 202 00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:48,740 I think doing a proper ending for Ninth Circle is much more appealing, 203 00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:49,420 wouldn't you say, Spence? 204 00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:51,860 Well, I certainly don't want to rush into anything. 205 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,900 I just want to know what my options are. 206 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:58,230 Well, the good news is, I put in a quick call to Mitch at AMC, 207 00:11:58,370 --> 00:11:59,740 and he's thrilled with the idea. 208 00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:01,660 And the fans would be very excited, I'm sure. 209 00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:03,860 I wouldn't be doing it for the fans. 210 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,260 I'd be doing it for my own personal reasons. 211 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,670 Which is exactly as it should be. 212 00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,260 So, can I tell them any details? 213 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:12,580 Is there an outline? 214 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:13,750 What stage are we at? 215 00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:14,860 We have an outline. 216 00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:17,180 Some very exciting plot developments. 217 00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:20,060 Characters doing things they should've done in the first place. 218 00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:21,670 Just so I've got this right, 219 00:12:22,050 --> 00:12:25,660 would this be a replacement for the controversial series seven finale? 220 00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:26,750 - No. - Yes. 221 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:28,980 - Well... - Yes and no. 222 00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:30,500 I haven't really thought it through yet. 223 00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:32,500 'Course you have! Don't be so modest. 224 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:37,230 To give you an example, Loretta, guess who lights the Flame of Aurora? 225 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:39,950 Oh, I've no idea, darling. I haven't seen it. 226 00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,580 All that Dungeons & Dragons stuff leaves me cold. 227 00:12:42,610 --> 00:12:45,340 - It's not Dungeons & Dragons! - Well, you know what I mean. 228 00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,910 Well, anyway, it's Calculus. 229 00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:50,060 - Calculus?! - Yeah. 230 00:12:50,090 --> 00:12:51,420 Calculus is a baby! 231 00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:53,500 Yeah, he crawls towards it and takes it in his little fist. 232 00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:55,180 The whole thing is inadvertent. 233 00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:57,070 The whole thing is fucking stupid. 234 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:01,270 It's not stupid. It's the way it should be. 235 00:13:02,010 --> 00:13:03,820 The previous ending was all Dante's dream. 236 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,990 - That's how we're squaring it. - Oh! Like Dallas. 237 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,310 I'll get you some biscuits. 238 00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:15,510 Well, I'm so pleased you've changed your mind, Spencer. 239 00:13:15,890 --> 00:13:17,790 I didn't want to say anything at the time, 240 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,470 but the original script was hated by pretty much everyone. 241 00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:22,690 Everyone? 242 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,030 The actors hated it, the execs hated it. 243 00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:30,270 Even the caterers hated it, and half of them can't even read. 244 00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:32,940 Well, that's nice to hear, coming from my own agent. 245 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:33,980 Oh, come on. 246 00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:37,030 You know it's my job to shield you from anything harmful. 247 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,900 And that's my job, too. 248 00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:42,100 So, Loretta, when do you think we should get the announcement out? 249 00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:44,500 Wait, wait! This is all moving too fast. 250 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:47,500 It's just that I know someone that runs one of the fan sites, 251 00:13:47,530 --> 00:13:49,340 and I'm sure he would be willing to help out. 252 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,260 Maybe we could announce it on his podcast? 253 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:54,150 - Oh, let's not dredge that up again. - Why, Spencer? 254 00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:55,910 What would you rather dredge up? 255 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,300 I just mean, isn't it a bit cart before horse? 256 00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:02,460 I don't think so. 257 00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:05,220 And I don't know if Spencer mentioned about a co-writing credit? 258 00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:06,790 No, news to me. 259 00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:08,530 Spencer? 260 00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:11,890 Yes. 261 00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,750 Simon's going to help me out with this project. 262 00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:19,190 As a fan, he understands the Ninth Circle better than I do. 263 00:14:19,570 --> 00:14:20,570 Yeah. 264 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,550 I know where all the bodies are buried. 265 00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:31,340 So, welcome back to this incredible episode of Circum Venting, 266 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:36,220 with me, Simon Smethurst, and my very, very special guest, Spencer McGuire! 267 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,860 So, Spence, I have been digging through 268 00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:42,460 some of the old message boards from the series finale last year. 269 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:45,710 Palehorse92 said, "They ruined my show." 270 00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:49,460 "The writing was terrible from season four onwards." 271 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:51,150 That's from Bruiserfan. 272 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:55,710 "I normally like McGuire's scripts, "but this really was a piece of ship." 273 00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:58,070 What do you think he means by that? 274 00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:00,670 I think he means "A piece of shit". 275 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,670 Oh, yeah. 276 00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:04,910 Yeah, that would make more sense. 277 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:08,420 Er, how does it feel, Spencer, when you hear comments like that? 278 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,750 Because presumably, you didn't set out to write a terrible ending? 279 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,730 No, I certainly didn't. 280 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,340 We planned for a long time for the denouement, 281 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:18,880 and aimed for something that would be true to the show's ethos, 282 00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,420 but would also be surprising. 283 00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:22,450 But you do accept now that you failed to do that? 284 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,720 Not necessarily. 285 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,420 I always trust my own instincts 286 00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,100 cos, without those, as a writer, where would I be? 287 00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:31,360 Well, maybe higher than a 31% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. 288 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,950 I don't write for the people who vote in online polls. 289 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,380 Oh, so who do you write for? 290 00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:36,680 For myself, primarily. 291 00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,830 Right, so you were pleased with the last episode? 292 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:42,060 Yes. And we got a five-star review in the Sydney Morning Herald, 293 00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:43,370 so I wasn't the only one. 294 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,960 So, you listen to the good reviews, just not the bad ones? 295 00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:49,170 No, I... try to keep an open mind. 296 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,690 Right, well, where I think you've been very, very brave is 297 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,830 you haven't just shut yourself off and said you know best. 298 00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,500 You've listened to the fans and you've taken on board our opinions. 299 00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:58,330 Because I know, with this new episode, 300 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,430 you want it to be a collaboration with the fandom, don't you? 301 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:06,540 Yes. The show started out as an authored work, a singular vision that I created 302 00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:09,030 after many years of experience in the industry. 303 00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:12,430 And, now, it's become a property that everyone is invested in, 304 00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:16,590 and it exists purely to be pulled in whatever direction the viewers decide. 305 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:19,660 Correct! Speaking of which, here's a question that just popped into my head. 306 00:16:19,690 --> 00:16:22,220 Would you ever consider running a competition 307 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,750 to give a fan a part in the new episode? 308 00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:26,470 Are you fucking serious? 309 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,440 Oh, we're going to have to bleep that. Sorry. 310 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,800 - Of course not! - But why? 311 00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:34,230 Well, because... they'd have to be able to act, for a start. 312 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,630 Well, that's not hard, is it? 313 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,960 "My family have been wronged, Dante. 314 00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:39,350 "Is this nothing? 315 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,880 "You call this nothing?! 316 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:43,970 "For three winters now, our fields have remained fallow. 317 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,800 "And so I ask you - nay, I demand - where is your justice now?" 318 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,140 And the first person to tweet me what episode that's from 319 00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:53,280 will get a Circum Venting badge and a wordsearch. 320 00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:57,200 No. I don't think it's right to be auctioning off parts for fans. 321 00:16:57,230 --> 00:17:00,730 And, yet, there is a role, in the new episode, of the Baron, 322 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,380 who turns against his brother, kills him 323 00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:03,970 and, straight away, seduces his brother's wife - 324 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,390 without giving away too many spoilers. 325 00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:06,920 Oh, of course, you wouldn't want to do that. 326 00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:09,900 And, when I read it, you know who I immediately visualised in that part? 327 00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,150 - Who? - Me. 328 00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:13,370 Are you joking? 329 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:17,490 No. The way he manipulates the situation to get whatever he wants... 330 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,400 You don't think that's something I'd be good at? 331 00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:22,000 We only use professional actors. 332 00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:23,840 Well, let's ask the Circlers. 333 00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:26,990 Write in, let me know in the comments, and I'm going to set up a poll! 334 00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:32,070 Should Simon be allowed to star in the new episode, as well as co-writing it? 335 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:35,090 Get voting, guys. It's our show now! 336 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,280 I just think you've let yourself down in these last few pages. 337 00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,390 OK, fuck it! Get rid of it... 338 00:17:56,420 --> 00:18:00,310 "...my family, Carter. Things will change on my return." 339 00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:03,040 "Carter stands in his tent..." 340 00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:05,170 And the results are in, guys. 341 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,100 And you will not believe it. 342 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:10,780 87% of you said "Yes", they want to see me audition for the part of the Baron! 343 00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:13,700 I'm so pleased, and thank you so much for all of your thoughts. 344 00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,650 I am going to be absolutely brilliant in the part, 345 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,580 and I'm sure Spencer's going to be... 346 00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:40,490 "Hi, Spencer, I forgot my key." 347 00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:45,920 Is this Mr McGuire? 348 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,140 Yes. 349 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,550 Sorry to disturb you. We met on the awards night? 350 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:51,620 My name's Gavin. 351 00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:01,300 Thing is, Mr McGuire, it was all Simon's idea. 352 00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:03,330 He can be very persuasive. 353 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:04,880 I just wanted you to read my stories, 354 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,200 but he just said you'd throw them away and never look at 'em. 355 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,640 That's probably true. 356 00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:12,260 Had some fake blood left over from when we did The Walking Dead at Comic-Con. 357 00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:13,660 Can't believe you didn't see me breathing. 358 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,290 You must've been very drunk. 359 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,350 Sorry. I'm so nervous. I'm such a big fan. 360 00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:23,220 I've brought some things for you to sign, if you don't mind? 361 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,320 Yes, of course. I just need to make one phone call. 362 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,960 I've got a nice big silver pen for this, if you don't mind. 363 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:35,240 Can I speak to Loretta, please? 364 00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:39,380 I can't believe you're going to be making my episode! 365 00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:41,000 It's Spencer McGuire. 366 00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:42,990 Yes, I'll hold. 367 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,100 You know, something I always wanted to ask you, Mr McGuire, 368 00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:48,330 if you don't mind? You know when Carter emerges from the swamp 369 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:51,390 in season one episode four, and he looks up at the fruit - 370 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:52,990 what was he thinking then? 371 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,740 I don't fucking know. It was ten years ago. 372 00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,360 What's going on? 373 00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:06,850 Simon! This is Gavin. 374 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,630 I believe you two know each other? 375 00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:12,070 Like Carter, he seems to have come back from the dead. 376 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:15,980 What are you doing here, Gavin? You've ruined everything. 377 00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:17,260 Couldn't help yourself, could you? 378 00:20:17,290 --> 00:20:18,570 You said I'd be able to have access to him. 379 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,400 "Eventually" I said "eventually"! 380 00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:21,740 I want some time with Mr McGuire. 381 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,600 It's not fair, you having him all to yourself that wasn't the plan. 382 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,590 Of course it was! You're supposed to be dead! 383 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:28,820 Loretta, can you give me a call back as soon as possible, please? 384 00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:30,630 Something urgent I have to discuss with you. 385 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:33,460 I was waiting for him to sign a contract so he couldn't back out of it, dummy! 386 00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:36,550 Yeah, all the while living with him and doing podcasts with him! 387 00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:38,170 Set yourself up as the queen bee of the fandom! 388 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,930 I've got an actual relationship with him, 389 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,920 not some sort of fantasy world that's all made up! 390 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,210 I'm his equal. He respects me. Don't you, Spencer? 391 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,260 He doesn't even know you! 392 00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:47,530 Did you tell him you have Photoshopped pictures of him with no clothes on? 393 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,170 They were DMed to you in private. It was not for a public forum! 394 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,960 All right, that's enough. 395 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,520 Now, I don't want to press charges, 396 00:20:54,550 --> 00:20:58,730 but, unless you leave my property now, I will go to the police. 397 00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:01,120 Spencer... the project. 398 00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:03,900 What, did you really think I'd revisit my own work 399 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,540 and overwrite it with this dogshit? 400 00:21:09,446 --> 00:21:10,690 I thought you liked it. 401 00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:13,160 Well, I had to say that, didn't I? 402 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,460 But you've got nothing over me now. 403 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:19,260 I'm not writing any more Ninth Circle. Why would I? 404 00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,760 Because, for some people, it's more than just a TV show. 405 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,850 We only want to celebrate what you do. 406 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,790 Oh, get out! 407 00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:29,600 You should be flattered that we care so much. 408 00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:32,480 Think you would've had seven seasons without a big fanbase? 409 00:21:32,510 --> 00:21:35,220 Oh, so suddenly you're the reason for my success, are you? 410 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,090 Well, in part, yes. 411 00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:40,400 We're the ones who spend all our money on DVDs and merchandise. 412 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,720 We're the ones who go to the conventions 413 00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:45,450 and pay, what, 60 quid for a selfie with Michael Maloney, 414 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,880 because he was an advocate in season one. 415 00:21:46,910 --> 00:21:48,700 We do it because we care. 416 00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:52,350 We're a community of loyal friends that love each other very much. 417 00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,670 And if you can't see that, Mr McGuire, then... 418 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,300 I pity you. 419 00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,440 Come on, Simon. 420 00:22:18,790 --> 00:22:20,000 How dare you! 421 00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:22,700 You call yourself a fan? 422 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:27,140 What gives you the right to question this great man's integrity?! 423 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,780 To think that this beautiful thing that he has created 424 00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:34,960 has become the sickening glue, the catnip, 425 00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:38,570 the flame that has drawn you insects together! 426 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:44,060 Like a nest of wasps in an attic, it's given you a misplaced sense of agency. 427 00:22:44,090 --> 00:22:47,760 There may be a lot of you, but you don't have a voice. 428 00:22:47,790 --> 00:22:49,090 You don't! 429 00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:51,170 You're just pests. 430 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,080 You're pests who need fumigating! 431 00:23:09,740 --> 00:23:10,770 Simon... 432 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:13,880 What have you done? 433 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:17,900 You said yourself - I had nothing over you. 434 00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,130 Well, now I have. 435 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,210 Wh-what are you talking about? 436 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,250 Think about it. 437 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:27,940 You've just delivered a draft script that you've stolen from a fan. 438 00:23:27,970 --> 00:23:30,050 The fan finds out about it, comes to confront you... 439 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,160 - And you've killed him to shut him up. - No... 440 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,630 No, I'm going to call the police. 441 00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:35,910 I'm going to tell them the truth. 442 00:23:35,940 --> 00:23:38,180 You make up stories for a living. 443 00:23:39,770 --> 00:23:40,820 I've got the video footage of you 444 00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:44,070 fighting with Gavin and pushing him down. 445 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:45,750 I've got the notebook in his handwriting. 446 00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,700 His fingerprints all over the place. 447 00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:50,530 It doesn't look good, does it? 448 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:53,620 Come on, Spencer. 449 00:23:54,430 --> 00:23:56,250 You've already killed him once. 450 00:23:57,930 --> 00:24:00,090 This just makes it more believable. 451 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:05,240 I really don't want to send you to prison. 452 00:24:06,540 --> 00:24:07,690 But I would. 453 00:24:10,970 --> 00:24:12,850 I just want us to be together. 454 00:24:20,890 --> 00:24:22,830 You know it's the only option, Spencer. 455 00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,480 Some things just feel right. 456 00:24:44,930 --> 00:24:46,730 You make yourself comfortable. 457 00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:06,500 Don't want him looking at us, do we? 458 00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:22,570 You see... 459 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,280 together, we're stronger. 460 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,100 We can rule this kingdom forever... 461 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,800 And ever... 462 00:25:31,540 --> 00:25:32,540 and ever. 463 00:27:05,950 --> 00:27:07,440 Sorry about the mess. 464 00:27:08,530 --> 00:27:09,740 I hope it doesn't stain. 465 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,050 So, how did he get on? Did he get it? 466 00:27:13,730 --> 00:27:14,900 Get what? 467 00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:17,380 The audition! 468 00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:20,220 Killing me, seducing you... 469 00:27:20,470 --> 00:27:22,140 It's the Baron's story arc. 470 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:25,260 He said you didn't think he was right for the part, 471 00:27:25,290 --> 00:27:26,890 so he wanted to persuade you. 472 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,840 I'm sorry for lying. 473 00:27:29,230 --> 00:27:30,340 Oh, God! 474 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,850 Did you like the big speech about the insects? 475 00:27:33,550 --> 00:27:34,660 I wrote that. 476 00:27:35,350 --> 00:27:37,680 Yes, it was very convincing. 477 00:27:38,410 --> 00:27:41,300 Before he comes back, can I get you to sign those things now? 478 00:27:43,070 --> 00:27:45,750 I'm so excited to be working with you, Mr McGuire. 479 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:47,890 I think we're going to make a great partnership. 480 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:52,100 Your stories are fantastic, but I always felt your dialogue was a bit weak. 481 00:27:52,830 --> 00:27:54,770 That's... that's... 482 00:27:55,860 --> 00:27:57,640 Can you make this one out to...? 483 00:28:02,670 --> 00:28:05,350 Five-star reviews across the board. 484 00:28:05,380 --> 00:28:09,760 The Guardian says, "This has rejuvenated McGuire's career." 485 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,540 Variety say, "Finally, we get the ending we deserved." 486 00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:15,730 - It's a triumph, darling. - Good! 487 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:20,710 Now, I spoke to Mitch last night, and he doesn't want to give you another series. 488 00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:21,690 - Really? - No. 489 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,570 He wants to give you two more series! 490 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,990 That takes us on to season nine. 491 00:28:26,020 --> 00:28:27,980 I hope you've got plenty of ideas. 492 00:28:28,010 --> 00:28:30,700 Oh, I'm sure I'll be able to think of something. 493 00:28:30,730 --> 00:28:31,570 Jolly good. 494 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,650 And If you want any help, there's plenty of young writers out there 495 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,640 who'd be happy being paid peanuts just to work with you. 496 00:28:37,670 --> 00:28:39,260 Well, why pay them at all? 497 00:28:39,650 --> 00:28:43,310 I can always steal their ideas and then dump them in the Thames. 498 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,120 You are funny! 499 00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:47,940 Well, I'll let you get on and enjoy your morning. 500 00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:49,840 Oh, and one last thing. 501 00:28:49,870 --> 00:28:52,390 Did you have a short quote to give me for the press release? 502 00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:53,740 One line will do. 503 00:28:53,765 --> 00:28:55,565 Just say, "I did it... 504 00:28:58,049 --> 00:28:59,999 "I did it for the fans." 40132

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