All language subtitles for Bakit Lahat Ng Gwapo May Boyfriend.English

[Kylie, in English] Every girl dreams
of her wedding day.

The venue,

the motif.

The flowers.

The music.

[in Filipino] Even the front
of the invitation, we imagine.

[applause]

[in English] Then of course,
there's the groom.

The man we're going
to spend our life with.

That's Henry.

My first love.

[in Filipino] I have great taste, don't I?

We were high school sweethearts.

I knew he was perfect husband material,
right from the start.

Gentleman, check. Smart, check.

Handsome as hell. Check and double check.

But we, apparently, weren't meant to be.

Kylie, move back.

Because as it turns out, that goddamn
handsome son of a bitch is gay.

Uh... Sorry.

[officiant] Let's begin the ceremony.

Oh. That smile? It wasn't fake.
It was totally sincere.

[sighs] Fine.

About 12 years ago, yes, I was bitter,
but I've moved on. I'm okay now.

For real.

In fact, they even hired me
to be their wedding planner.

What's the 411?

Even if I failed with Henry/Henrietta,

somewhere out there is the one for me.

Kylie!

That's Tom. Isn't he hot?
He was my first kiss.

We became a couple in college.

I remember all my blockmates
being incredibly jealous of me.

I can't blame them
because, well, look at him.

How are you?

Good!

So good to see you.
It's been a long time.

Thank you.

And you look beautiful, as always. Cheers!

[cellphone ringing]

Oh...

Excuse me. Just a sec. Hello.

[Kylie] We are so compatible,

to the point that we have
the same taste in everything.

As in everything.

Name it, we got it covered.

We both loved watching romantic movies,
going out to clubs, going to the beach.

-And most of all, we both loved...
-Daniel, finally. You're late.

Boys.

Yes, for the second time in a row,

I fell victim to another gay guy
who hadn't yet come out of the closet.

Maybe third time's the charm, right?

That's Benj.

He's my boss
and everybody's crush at the office.

-Benj! Hi!
-Yes, come here.

[Kylie] In the two years that we dated,

he made me feel like
I was the only woman in his life.

In fairness, that was true...

Because all the others were men.

[sighs]

Just my luck, right?

And up until now,
Benj is still in the closet.

I'm the only one
he has come out to so far.

That woman is insane.

She made me her photo booth.

My God, she even picked out nice filters.

-Good evening, ma'am. Good evening, sir.
-[chuckles]

Thank you.

You know how this goes. Hold on.

Oh.

Thank you.

You know, I really don't have
anything against gay guys.

I'm okay with guys being gay.

But I'm fed up being their cover girl.

Yes. Cover girl.

I cover for them. I'm the perfect ruse.

I become a cover-all
for every one of these closeted men.

[dance music playing]

[people whooping]

[people chattering]

[whooping]

[Kylie] Gay.

Gay-ish.

Kind of gay.

Baby gay.

Gay all the way.

Enough is enough.

The pain must stop.

To all the closet gays out there...

...you can't fool us anymore.

[all cheering]

I can smell you from miles away!

You! Admit it, you're gay, aren't you?

No!

You're gay! You're gay.

This guy, gay. Happy foundation day!

You're gay! You're gay. You're gay.

Gay. Gay. Gay!

There are so many of you.
What about us girls?

Is that how it's going to be now?

A game of tug of war? Last man standing?

[sobbing] You're all gay!

Girl, that's enough. So embarrassing.

[Kylie shouting] What about us?
What about us women?

[Dina] Hey! You're back home
in the morning again.

This isn't how a lady acts.

You know, you'll end up being an old maid.

All you do is work, you come home drunk.

Hey! Are you listening to me?

[cellphone chimes]

Yes, Mom.

Mom is right, sis.

You're one to talk.
Why don't you fix your job applications?

My savings account is all but gone
because of your allowance.

Am I not working on it?
I really want to get this job.

I hope I'll get this job.
The HR guy who interviewed me was so cute.

Look at this!

-[knock on door]
-Let's see.

Yes.

Dina, can I buy some pork rolls?

He has dimples. You just can't tell.

Sure, one moment.

Sure, one moment.

He's gay.

All our consultations today were canceled.

Henry's referrals.

Probably got turned off
because of your silliness.

If I had a uterus,

it would've shriveled up
and died because of you.

I'm sorry.

If you want, you can fire me.

Being dramatic doesn't suit you, hon.

Just promise me that you won't repeat
that scene you made, okay?

I promise it won't happen again.

[cellphone chimes]

I'll be a good girl from now on.
That's a promise.

[exclaims] Hey! It's Diego.

-[clears throat]
-What? What's happening?

It's Diego. Diego's here...

Who is Diego?

The Diego.

My childhood friend.

My first love,
from elementary till college.

And the reason I discovered
that deep inside my heart

there was a princess searching
for her Prince Charming.

But then he moved to America.

[all groaning]

[coughing]

Benj! Benj!

You okay?

Diego, I can't breathe.

We'll take you to the clinic.

No. I won't make it. I need CPR.

[boy] CPR? He said CPR.

Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

But Benj, you're not unconscious.

What?

[all clamoring]

Benj! Benj!

I know CPR! Make room! Stand aside!

[Kylie] Does he know you're gay?

[Benj] No.

[Kylie] Does he know he's gay?

[Benj] No, but one day,

-he'll realize that...
-Are you okay?

[Benj] ...he loves me.

I just know that now is the time.

See, I can feel it. Look, he says he's
got something important to say to me.

Mmm...

What else could it be other than he now
realizes that he's also in love with me?

[sighs]

-Girl, I'm getting married.
-Mmm.

[exclaims]

Excuse me, sir, I need your signature.

I don't think I can do this, girlfriend.

[Kylie] Relax.
What boxers are you wearing?

New ones.

[Kylie] Did you go get waxed?

Yes, last night.

[Kylie] Top or bottom?

What the... You're so rude.
I'm so nervous.

[in English] Benj! Hey!
How long has it been?

[sighs]

[exhales]

Too long.

[in Filipino] What was it
that you needed to tell me?

Wait, wait. Before that,
I want to introduce you to someone.

[in English] I'm so sorry, honey.
I left my cell phone in the car.

It's okay, Fi.

Benj, this is Fiona, my fiancée.

Diego told me that you guys
are college best friends.

[in Filipino] So I thought, why not
hire you to be our wedding planner?

Best idea ever.

[chuckles softly]

Uh... When do you plan
to have the wedding?

Two months from now.

Next, next month?

Yeah.

But... that just seems so soon.

That's 'cause I'm only free then.

I'm actually an IT consultant,
so, you know, I travel a lot.

Diego here took some time off
from the bank, about two months.

Mmm...

But I have to check with my partners
if we can manage it.

If not, is it possible
to delay your wedding?

Let's say, next year?

Uh...

Or next, next year?

Or never.

You know,
I don't know if I could wait that long.

If it were possible,
I'd marry her tomorrow.

-Aw...
-And I don't care

if we only wear house clothes.

Or if we have the ceremony
out on the street.

As long as I marry her,

I'm good.

You are too sweet.

Let's save the kiss for the wedding day.
Sweeter that way.

Looks like we can manage it
and make next, next month happen.

That's so much about us.

How about you? How are you now?

Still the same. In love... with you.

With who?

Huh? With you... UNICEF.

Oh, UNICEF.

-I'm a volunteer.
-Nice!

For the children...

You have a girlfriend, right?

Girlfriend?

Yeah, a girlfriend.

With your good looks, it would be
impossible for you not to have one.

Unless, of course, you're gay.

[laughing]

Gay?

Hello?

Girlfriend? Yes, I have a girlfriend.

Oh, you have a girlfriend now?

No! I don't want to be your cover girl.

I'm done with that. I even have
a master's degree to show for it.

You know I'm done.

I'm so sorry, sis.

I just don't want to look pathetic
in front of them.

They're just so sweet,
while here I am without a love life.

[sobs] No! That cannot be.

Give in and say yes already.
That Diego is straight.

Shh! Don't say that!

You have to meet him,
then use your gaydar on him.

You'll see, you'll see
that he is definitely gay.

Plus, when he heard me say that I had
a girlfriend, I sensed some jealousy.

Maybe he was just shocked.

But think about it,
this time you won't be a cover girl.

You'll be an undercover girl.

[sighs]

[groans]

Okay. Okay, fine. I'll do it.

You owe me.
Add this to your list of debts to me.

Really? Thank you.

The question is,
how will you prove that Diego is gay?

[chuckling]

[laughing maniacally]

[Kylie] It's so beautiful here.

[Benj] Isn't it?
Diego's family owns this resort.

When we were kids,
this is where we played.

-Oh.
-And over there,

that's where we used to play house.

Really?

Over there at the pool,
we played mermaids.

Jezebel.

[both chuckling]

[in English] And that's Diego,
my one and only.

Hello!

Hey!

Hi!

Hello!

Hi! Sorry, Benj, I lost track of time.

[in Filipino] This is embarrassing.

Let me just get changed.

No. Don't!

So we can get
the meeting started at once.

This is Kylie, my girlfriend.

Kylie! I've been dying to meet you.

Me, too.

So let me go get changed
and then I'll call Fiona.

Just give me 20 minutes.

Okay.

[Diego] So two months is
a workable time for our wedding?

[Fiona, in English] Honey,
it should be workable.

I mean, we're paying them a lot.

They should make the impossible possible.

And I expect nothing less.

Right, guys?

[both chuckling]

Of course.

[in Filipino] You know,
I find you two so cute

'cause you guys are in a relationship
and you also work together.

[chuckles]

'Cause me and my honeybunny,
we're inseparable.

That's right, girlette.

"Girlette"?

Girlette. It's a term of endearment.
It's short for, um...

Piglet...

-Girlette...
-"Girlette?"

[laughs, mimics pig]

If you only knew how he ate,
just like a little pig.

[all laughing]

Okay, piglet!

You're so cute, my piglet.
I'm actually making him go on a diet.

You guys are so cute.

Piglet.

But you know what? Hats off to you both,
'cause then you guys are making it work.

Knowing me, I don't feel like

I can work with Diego

because we would just end up fighting.

[in English] Knowing me,
I am such a brat.

[chuckling]

[laughs awkwardly]

But honey, you still love me, right?

Of course.

Mmm...

[both chuckling]

[Kylie] Well groomed.

Not a strand of hair out of place.

He moves with finesse.
He's fashionable.

Look at that shirt.

I like your lipstick.

Pink Nouveau, right? It's Pink Nouveau?

Oh, my God! Honey, how do you know that?

[clicking tongue]

[in Filipino] Put a check on that.

Check.

I'm not 100% sure that he's gay.

What do you mean?

That I'm not 100% sure that he's gay.

My God, what proof do you want?

He complimented your lipstick.

What else do you want?

That he walk into a salon?
Get his hair curled?

No. There's just something.

What something?

Be sure before he gets tied to Fiona.

[scoffs]

Before you drop your panties,

we need to find out
if Diego is really gay.

How?

Call Ramon-Ramon.

No one can resist Ramon-Ramon.

[Diego clears throat]

Hi! Hi! Have you been a member here long?

Yes.

Okay. Good.

It's just that this is
the first I've seen you here.

By the way, I'm Ramon-Ramon.
Part-time trainer here.

Hi.

Hello. Hello.

I just finished my workout and just
came from the spa. It's hot, isn't it?

Yeah. Really hot.

Nice trunks.

Thank you.

[Kylie hissing]

[Ramon-Ramon exclaiming]

[Benj] Psst...

[exclaiming]

[hushing] Be quiet.

He's so handsome!

Why did you let him leave?
Follow him to the shower.

I don't know. My knees became weak.

You guys didn't tell me
he was that good-looking.

I wasn't prepared.

[shushing]

You don't want to go?

Fine, we'll find someone else
to seduce Diego.

Let's find the other guy.

Wait, wait. Give me a sec. I'm going...

Inhale. Exhale.

[exclaiming] He's so handsome!

Quiet! Get going!

[whispering] Go! Go. Go.

Look, there's a peso...
I thought it was a peso.

If you really want to have great abs
like mine, I could train you.

Oh.

Wow!

Yeah, working out is hard.

Your abs can be like that.

You're free to touch.

Whoa. That's insane.

You can pinch it if you want.

[Diego] How'd you get these?

[Ramon-Ramon] Lots of hard work.

[Diego] 'Cause when abs
are this rock hard...

Ooh.

[Ramon-Ramon] Let me show you my chart.

Go on.

Let me show you
what kind of workouts we need to do.

Did you see that? Did you?

He ignored the girl completely
and kept pinching Ramon's abs.

That's our confirmation.

Confirmed and confirmed!

So... Sorry, sorry.

That's okay.

Hey, he was cute.

Yeah, and smelled so good.

[cellphone ringing]

Girl, what new drama is this?

[Benj] Forgive me.
I had just hit puberty then.

Just take the time to read that
so you get to know him better.

Poor Fiona. Okay,
let me read this first. Call you later.

Okay, bye.

Gotcha. Madonna.

Ultra-conservative military father
and mega-religious mom.

Girl! Girlette!

[exclaims]

What is wrong with you?
Your voice is so loud.

My parents are here
and they don't know I'm gay.

[laughing]

Really? With that outfit and your looks?
Your parents still don't know you're gay?

Well, now they know. Why are you here?

You're insane. You didn't even mention
that Diego's last name was Mendoza.

His aunt Lexi is a good friend of mine.

So what?

Well, Lexi just hired me
to be the couturier for Diego's wedding.

[Kylie] Benj told me
that your dad is a general.

It must be hard
to have a dad in the military.

It must have been so regimented.
Did he frown on any sign of weakness?

Yes. I remember,
when I was young, I overslept a little.

You know what he did?

He made me stand outside
for ten hours straight

under the heat of the sun. No sitting.

But I managed.

I wanted to collapse,
but I didn't want to disappoint him.

That's probably why
you can't come out...

Pardon?

Nothing. I said, we've still got options
here to look at, and look here, trousers.

Does this match that?

Diego, darling!

Auntie!

Hello, son!

Hi, Auntie!

By the way,
this is our wedding planner, Kylie.

Kylie, this is my aunt Lexi.

Hello, Kylie!

It's so nice to meet you.

Ramon-Ramon,
you take care of my nephew, okay?

He's my favorite.

I can see. I can see why.

Weren't you the guy at the gym?

Yes, yes! I'm a jack-of-all-trades.

Aren't Diego's parents coming today?

No. They delegated all this to me.

When it comes to taking care of
their only boy, they know I'm the expert.

You're really close with Diego,
aren't you?

Well, to answer your question, yes.

Diego and I are incredibly close.
I'm like his second mom.

When my twin brother goes off
to fight God knows where...

I stay with Diego and his mom.

So you're also close with Diego's parents?

Can anything be closer than twins?

Really?

Truth!

Oh!

[both laughing]

Nice game. Nice game.

Benj, I need to ask you this.
Why a wedding planning business?

Well, that was Kylie's idea.
You know me, supportive boyfriend.

That explains it.
Ask Kylie to marry you already.

Maybe next year.

Next year.

What about you guys?
When did you decide to marry Fiona?

Well, it was when she told me
she was moving to Germany for work.

That's when I realized that
I can't let her go without being my wife.

Benj, can I ask you a favor?

Anything.

Can you be my best man?

[Benj] I don't know if I can
do this, girl.

I might collapse if I'm the best man.

[sobbing] I can't watch the man
of my dreams marry someone else.

-I can't!
-Oh! Girl, don't give up.

Diego has a tranny auntie, right?

What does that have to do
with Diego's sexuality?

Don't you see? Doesn't research
show that being gay is genetic?

If there's someone
in the family who is gay,

it can be passed on
from generation to generation.

I'm done. I don't want to hope.

You never know, maybe Diego
isn't afraid to come out to his parents.

Maybe there's another reason he won't.

Fiona could be pregnant.

How could she be pregnant with the amount
of red wine she drank when we had dinner?

Is red wine her pregnancy craving?

No, that's it.

This is the end of the line for me.

I won't ever be with Diego.

Girl, don't give up just yet.

You can do this.

Don't cry, I'm here.

[tapping on window]

God damn it. What are you two doing there?

What are you trying to say? You're rude.

We're not having sex.

I'm gay! Gay. Gay. Gay!

You have a 7:00 p.m.
meeting with Mr. Diego.

Okay, thanks, Jas.

Diego is on his way. What should I do?

[Benj] It's all up to you.

[Kylie] Where are you anyway?

Someplace where nobody knows me.

Somewhere you can finally come out?

Don't be a wiseass.
I just want to forget everything.

[dialogue inaudible]

-Sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean--
-It's okay.

-I didn't notice.
-It's okay. I'll handle it.

Are you okay?

Thank you.

Okay.

I rode the wrong elevator.

I didn't realize there was
a way through the back...

Ah... [laughs]

That's right. Okay.

Who are these? Your clients?

Mmm-hmm.

Where do you think they are now?

Are they still this happy?

I hope so.

Uh...

Where is Benj, by the way?

He went out-of-town, for training.

Don't you miss him
when he goes out of town?

Not really.

Sometimes it's good that we're apart.
It gives us some space, you know.

I guess you're right.

Where's Fiona?

Uh, she's at work.
She's been very busy lately.

We only ever speak to each other
over the phone now.

But hopefully things will change
when we're married.

In the meantime,
I'm in charge of all the wedding prep.

Kylie, you shouldn't be eating ice cream
on an empty stomach.

Mom.

Where's that guy
you were to set me up with?

The son of that woman
you go to catechism meetings with?

First, get some etiquette.

You're eating like you're a pig
that hasn't been fed in days.

Hmm!

Whoa, pig? What if I'm just
going through some life crisis?

That's what you get
for chasing men all the time.

This is your karma for being too eager.
You don't know how to be patient.

[laughs]

Eager? I'm the one who's eager now?
I'm 30, Ma.

I've been waiting for ages.

I don't see you
running out of men in your life.

One after the other.
That's why it comes to nothing.

Because it isn't your time.
Let destiny tell you when it's right.

I have someone to set you up with.
My friend's older brother.

Is he cute?

Mmm... He's cute, but I don't know
if he's straight.

So figure that out yourself.

Go! Bring it on!

Excuse me. Move... Move your knees.

Thank you.

Do you want some popcorn?
Drinks? Sorry, I forgot.

No, don't worry.
I'm still full from dinner.

Japanese food is my all-time favorite.

Of course. I researched that, you know.

Researched?

Yeah, on Facebook.

[Kylie chuckles softly]

Is it okay if we switch seats?

Why?

I don't trust that guy beside you.

Okay.

[clears throat]

You know how it is. Better to be safe.

Pervs these days
wear glasses to look harmless.

And we have a motto at the agency,
"It's better safe than not safe."

You know, dinner was great,
but I think this movie was a bad idea.

Let's go.

No. Don't worry. I'm here to protect you.

Have no fear.
Plus, this is a really good movie. Horror.

You research that on Facebook as well?

Shh. Quiet.

If you get scared,
you can sit on my lap.

Hey, your hand.
And why would I sit on your lap?

What? We're not in high school anymore.

I like you and I know you super-duper
like me. So what's the problem?

You. You're the problem.

You're acting too fresh with me.

And here I thought you were decent,
cute and super straight.

What's the use of you being straight
if you're a douchebag? I'm going home.

Stop being a prude.

-Me, a prude? I'm going home.
-Kylie!

Are you okay?

Who are you? Stay out of this, bud.

I'm her friend.

We're her friends.

And if you don't want any trouble,
just let her go.

Okay, fine.

You aren't that pretty anyway.

You've only got that fair skin
and those thick lips going for you.

[Kylie gasps]

[Kylie scoffs]

Are you okay?

Let me sit with you a while.

Excuse me.

[mouthing inaudibly]

Thank you so much.

But you don't need to leave your friends.
I'm heading home anyway.

But why? It'll be a waste of your tickets.

I heard this movie was really good,
so let's just enjoy.

-See? I told you.
-[chuckles]

Popcorn?

[dramatic music plays onscreen]

[monsters snarling]

[character screams]

[Diego screams]

[chuckles]

This movie is really scary.

[Diego] I think I lost my voice
with all the screaming I did,

but that was fun.
Didn't you enjoy yourself?

I think I enjoyed
watching you scream more.

Bye.

[chuckles]

Um...

Kylie...

I don't mean to pry,
but are you and Benj okay?

Yeah, we're okay. Why?

Well, you're out on a date
with another guy.

I forgot I was a cover girl.

Well...

Things have been

a little vague for a while
between me and Benj.

Really? He didn't mention anything to me.

Benj has a lot of secrets.
If only you knew...

So I've got a fitting on Wednesday, right?

[gasps]

Shouldn't Fiona accompany you for that?

She gets back on Friday.

Can you check the receipt
for the Martinez wedding?

I apparently made a mistake with the check
I issued. What? Okay, thank you. Bye.

Kylie!

So, how do I look?

Will I pass as a groom?

Um, not yet. There's...

[Kylie] If you really want to know
how something tastes,

sometimes have to close your eyes.

Ah...

Mmm-hmm.

-Mmm-hmm.
-Okay.

Here's the second one.

Ah...

Oops.

Last. Ah...

Such a waste...

Have you decided already?

[man chuckles softly]

Uh, hello. The maid let me in. I'm Kylie.

Kylie!

Mom, Dad,

she's the one I was telling you about,
Benj's girlfriend and business partner.

[in English] Diego,
where are your manners?

Ask your guest to come in first.

Yes, sir.

Kylie, come in, please.

Kylie, it's so nice to meet you.

[chuckles]

[in Filipino] Diego constantly sings
your praises.

He definitely couldn't handle
all the wedding preparations without you.

Where's Fiona?

I thought both of you
would be here for your interview

for your audio visual presentation
at the wedding reception?

She'll do hers on another day, Dad.

Something came up with her work.
I hope it's all right, Kylie?

No problem.

Baby, is that what you'll be wearing?

I think the polo I bought you
would look so much better.

Go and change into that.

Okay, Mom.

Please excuse me.

Oh, good boy.

Your son is getting married and you're
still treating him like your baby.

What's wrong with that?
He'll forever be my baby.

Julia. Let's go. We're late.

Hello, Kylie.

And where are you going?

To the salon. Where else?

My mani-pedi is two weeks old.
It's a disgrace.

I told Nap here that he should get
his nails cleaned as well.

They're clean. Right?

Why is it when women look
at their fingernails, they do this?

When it's men, they do that.

Your parents are sweet.
I saw them dancing a while ago.

My dad is very intimidating,
but he's really sweet.

How long have your parents been married?

Thirty-five years?

They met at a college dance
way back in 1974.

Love at first sight?

Well, it's more of,
"love at first dance."

I don't know...

My dad can't explain it, but he said
the feeling was unlike anything else.

Especially the first time
he held my mom's hand.

He knew that he had fallen in love.

What about you? When did you realize
that you were in love with Fiona?

I guess... It just happened.

It just happened?

Yeah.

She was my best friend in the US
and we were both struggling.

We were trying to prove ourselves
without any help from our parents.

And then one day,

she said to me,
"I think I'm falling for you."

And then I realized
that I was also falling for her, too.

So Fiona was
the first to say, "I love you"?

Yes.

So you just went with it.

Diego, I think
there's some dirt on your nails.

We can put the trellis here,

and I thought
the guests could sit over here.

And over there, we could put the stage
for the string quartet. Loads of space.

I'm not sure about this. What if it rains?

I checked the weather forecast.
It's sunny that day.

Well, that could change.

Honey, is it too late for a beach wedding?

Wait, we've talked about this.

I thought you were okay
with holding it here.

I know. I just thought that the designs
and the setup would look nicer.

I mean, I only saw the pictures after all.

And who's fault is it?

That's because you put
your work before this.

Diego, you know
how demanding my work can be.

I know, but I just thought
you would prioritize our wedding more.

But obviously, I was wrong.

Look, I sacrificed my career
in Germany just for this wedding.

Don't you think I deserve better?

Girl, it looks like
Fiona and Diego's wedding

is in danger of not pushing through.

Why? Did Diego back out?

No. It's the girl...
It seems like she's getting cold feet.

[squeals] Gonna swing...

Fine, go on and celebrate
someone else's misery. Go on.

Come on, girl. Let me have this one.

Diego is dead-set on marrying
his fiancée, just so you know.

I have something to tell you.

But please don't start to hope just yet.
Don't get your hopes up high, okay?

Here it goes...

I think I can feel it.
I can confirm to you that Diego is gay.

Confirmed or "confeermed"?
There's a difference, you know.

Confirmed but verging on "confeermed."

What percentage?

I think it's at 66% now, girl.

So more than half. That's enough,
on the way to being gay.

[Kylie] Apologies, the dance instructor is
running a little late 'cause of traffic.

Yeah.

So is it just you?

Yeah, but Fiona will follow.

She just can't leave
her meeting right now.

Uh, hey, Kylie, can I tell you a secret?

Of course.

Well, I've hidden this
from Fiona for a while.

Actually, from my whole family.

And now I'm starting
to have a hard time hiding it.

[sighs]

Listen to me.

You have nothing to hide.

This isn't something
you have to be ashamed of.

Just be true to yourself.

Be where you're most happy.

And I am sure
your family will support you.

It's all good, girlfriend.

Okay...

Thanks, huh? Anyway...

I've been practicing this song.

Uh...

And I was hoping to surprise Fiona
with it on our wedding day.

That's what you've been hiding?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you mind?
I was hoping you would listen to it.

Well, didn't I say just be true
to yourself? Yeah, what is it?

[romantic instrumental music plays]

♪ To love someone ♪

♪ Each person who has feelings
Loves someone ♪

♪ Just like you and just like me ♪

♪ Finding love in one another ♪

♪ And now truly in love ♪

♪ When you love someone ♪

♪ Each moment with them goes by so fast ♪

♪ Each hour has a sweet story ♪

♪ Each person in love is happy ♪

Sorry, it's my favorite song.

Really?

I always sing it at videoke sessions.

Wow.

♪ To love someone ♪

♪ Each person who has feelings
Loves someone ♪

♪ Just like you and just like me ♪

♪ Finding love in one another ♪

♪ So while there's hope ♪

♪ Go find true love ♪

♪ You'll only be happy ♪

♪ You'll only be happy ♪

♪ When you have someone you truly love ♪

[in English] What's that awful song
that you're singing to?

[in Filipino] Don't tell me that this is
what we're dancing to?

It's so out of style.

[in English] No. No. Of course not.

So where's the dance instructor?
Is he here?

[in Filipino] Did I get here before him?
So unprofessional, my gosh.

I'll give him a call. Excuse me.

[Diego] Where are you?

Father won't wait all day.

Okay, then. All right. Bye.

Diego?

Hi!

What are you doing here?

[sighs]

Canonical interview.

Ah, yes. Uh...

Where's Fiona?

Late, but she's on her way.

What about you? What brings you here?

Um... I'm with a client, Ms. Lorraine.

Ms. Lorraine, this is Diego.

Excuse me, Diego, Fiona?

It's your turn.

Oh, wow. Ma'am, can we wait
for five more minutes?

Sorry, son. Father is leaving in a while.

If you want, I can re-schedule you?
But the earliest is next month.

No need. She's here.

Uh... Honey.

Honey?

Honey, it's our turn.

[Kylie] Honey?

Fiona isn't here yet.
Just pretend that you're her.

Please. I really don't want
to come back here.

[woman] Excuse me, you're Fiona?

Where did you and Diego meet each other?

In New York, Father?

Well, I wouldn't know.

In New York, that's it. Yes, New York.

They watched... we watched...
We watched a Broadway musical.

What big misunderstandings
do you usually have with Diego?

Mmm... He's annoying when picking
a venue for the wedding.

But it's a good thing we have an amazing
and pretty wedding coordinator.

She's always with Diego for everything.

In fact, they actually look good together.

They should be together.

They can take care of
all the details of this wedding,

since they're always together.
I'm busy, so I have to leave it to them.

-Uh-huh.
-[chuckles nervously]

[grunts]

Uh...

Do you love Diego?

You know what, Father,
it isn't hard to love him...

[sighs]

...even if you know that it's wrong.

Even if you really don't want to...

you really can't stop your heart.

Just to see him smile makes my day.

Uh...

You are in love. [exclaims happily]

Me? No. Fiona is.

Well, aren't you Fiona?

Yes, that's me.

[Diego] That priest won't officiate
the wedding. Don't worry.

-[Kylie] Where's Fiona?
-[Diego] She's stuck in a meeting.

I'm worried about tomorrow's seminar.

Because Fiona's flying to Cebu
for work tonight.

[Kylie] Thank you for the ride home.

[all greeting and chattering]

[Kylie] Who's winning?

Me, of course. Kylie, come play.

Kylie.

I'd like to thank you again,
for what you did back there.

It was nothing. Good thing
the priest didn't catch on.

[woman] Kylie!
I put some fishballs aside for you!

Your expression was priceless.

You looked so uncomfortable,
especially when we started discussing sex.

Well, of course, who wouldn't be a little
embarrassed talking about sex?

I know I come off
as everyone's gay girlfriend,

but I don't take sex lightly, you know.

Really?

I didn't know we were so alike.

Would you believe you could
count on just one hand

the partners I've had sex with?

Personally, I believe
that when you give your body,

your heart should be in it as well. Right?

[bell ringing]

Look, ice cream!

Two scoops of cheese, please.

What are you, really?

What do you mean?

I'm totally confused by you.

I mean, as a person.

I think I've got you all figured out,

then you suddenly do or say
something that messes with my mind.

[chuckles]

You see, I have nothing to hide.

If you want to know anything about me,
all you need to do is ask.

[vendor] Here's your order.

-Diego--
-[Dina] Kylie, I didn't see you there.

Mom, this is Diego. Diego, my mom.

Hello, Diego.

Good evening, ma'am.

Good evening. Let's head upstairs.

Cindy is making dinner
and you're right on time.

No, Mom, Diego might have other plans.

No, no. I would love
to join you for dinner.

If that's okay, of course.

Of course it's okay.

You're welcome to join us,
especially someone as handsome as you.

[Kylie] I've taken an animation workshop,
but I didn't finish it.

It's good. I didn't know
that you were a talented artist.

[chuckles softly] I took up
a fine arts course in college.

After, I couldn't find a job.

A few gigs here and there,
but I had to stop.

I needed a steady job to earn money
and send Cindy through school.

Look, she made that one also.

-This, too?
-She got that talent from me.

I think you should take it up again.
I mean, this is really good.

Maybe later on,
when I've saved a bit of money.

Don't you miss it?

I miss it.

You know what I really like
about animation?

The discipline.
You need to do it frame by frame.

No shortcuts. You get reminded that...

everything that's worth
something takes effort.

It's like a relationship.

It's like this, a collection of a lot of
memories made up of a lot of days.

And when you see it as a whole,
you realize how beautiful it all is.

You helped me a lot today, and yet I'm
the one who scored the free dinner.

[laughs] Don't worry,
I'll charge it to your bill.

[both laughing]

Fiona isn't going to be around
this week, is she?

Yes. So tomorrow I still need you
to pretend to be Fiona.

-Good night.
-Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

[engine starts]

Eye contact
is important in a relationship.

[in English] So I don't want you
speaking to one another.

[in Filipino] Just stare
into each other's eyes.

[in English] They say that the eyes
are the window to our soul.

Your lips can lie, but not your eyes.

[in Filipino] This is how you can tell
if a person is happy or sad.

Just by looking at their eyes,

one can tell if someone
is in love with them.

Okay. Did you like that exercise?

[all chattering]

I'm sure you'll enjoy this one.

I want you to kiss each other.

Kiss? On the lips?

Yes. Why? That shouldn't be a problem
as you're getting married soon.

Can we just skip it?
I just ate some shrimp paste,

and I haven't brushed my teeth yet.

-Can we just kiss on the cheeks?
-No, it must be on the lips.

But...

No more buts. Come on. Don't be shy.

[chuckles nervously]

We're all couples here, aren't we?

Come on.

Maybe it's okay?
I mean, we are friends, aren't we?

-Mmm-hmm.
-It'll just be a smooch.

Right?

Are you sure?

Of course.
I don't have any feelings for you.

So I'll just pretend
I'm an actress and this is my role.

Huh.

[in English] You may start.

Okay, go.

Go on.

Feel the love you have for each other.

Imagine that you are in a romantic place.

Just the two of you
without a care in the world.

[both breathing heavily]

Mmm.

[Kylie moaning]

[continues moaning]

Mmm!

[woman clears throat] Excuse me.

[in Filipino] Is our time up?

For a while now. What happened to you?

[mock moaning]

[clearing throat] Just had to cough.

Your coughing is unique.

[clears throat]

[in English] Okay, moving on...

[sighs heavily]

[in Filipino] Girl, it was nothing.

It didn't mean anything. Forget about it.

It was nothing.

I'm back, bitch!

Why are you just lying there?

Nothing. Just resting.

Girl, I miss you.

I missed you.

So, how is Diego?

Has he come to his senses?
Is the wedding canceled?

As of now, it's still pushing through.

But I thought you were 66% sure
that Diego was gay?

Yes, but what can I do
if he refuses to come out?

So what happened with the 34% of him?

Sis, I need to ask you a favor.

Ky, I just got back, girl,
and you're already asking for favors?

What is it?

Can you handle Diego's wedding from here?

You've been gone for so long.

Maybe it's time for you to get down
and work-work-work.

This is confusing. I'm confused.

Didn't I just go on vacation
to avoid Diego?

Why are you suddenly avoiding him as well?

No, it's not like that.

You little fruitcake.

You've fallen in love
with Diego, haven't you?

Of course not. I've learned my lesson.

I am not falling in love
with a gay guy again.

So what's the problem?

Nothing. I just don't like wasting time

on a couple who is going
to break up anyway.

It's a waste of effort.

Then all the more reason
to exert some more effort.

Girl, if they don't push through
with the wedding,

I'll have a chance. We'll have a chance.

You know what, I've done my part.

Now, if you really want Diego,
put in some effort.

To hell if he's gay or not.
At least you worked on it.

We won't have anyone else to blame if
you don't get what you want. Okay? Okay.

So that's it, you just walk out on me?

It's way past midnight.
Why are you still awake?

Is something wrong?

[in English] How did you know
that Mom was the right woman for you?

Honestly...

At that time, I wasn't sure.

But I was sure of my love for her.

[in Filipino] I knew
that I really loved her.

I knew that she was the first thing
I wanted to see in the morning

and the last person I would see at night.

Son.

Marriage is not easy.

There are arguments, there are fights.

There are times when you ask yourself

if getting married
was the right thing to do.

You went through that with Mom, too?

Of course.

We aren't perfect.

But these imperfections only
made our love for each other stronger.

But what if that's not
what's happening with us?

[sighs]

Maybe your love for each other
is not strong enough to begin with?

Benj!

Benj...

You're back! How are you?

I'm okay.
Looks like you got a little bigger...

What?

Even here. I'm jealous.

We should work out together some time.

Really? The abs seem to be the same.

And we can hit the sauna after.
To... sweat it out.

Yeah, let's go. Let's do that.

Coffee?

Um...

Where's Kylie?

She had to go take care of another client.

Actually, from now on,
I'll be in charge of your wedding prep.

[Benj] Girl, we have a problem.
Fiona suddenly requested a fitting today.

Then tell her you're sick.
Ask her to re-schedule.

[Benj] She says she's only free today.

Could you maybe go
and take care of this, girl?

Can you handle it?

[Fiona] Wow! It's so beautiful!

[Robin] Yes, it is!

Fionsky...

What?

We have a slight problem.
You can't try it on.

Superstition has it that
if the bride tries on her wedding gown

before the day of her wedding...

It brings bad luck.
The wedding won't push through.

Come on! Come on!

Do you seriously believe that nonsense?

Believe you me, dear.

You know, that really happened
to a friend of mine.

Oh!

She tried on her gown
before the day of her wedding.

And then right before the big day...

-[gasps]
-...the groom fled.

Oh, my God!

Better safe than sorry, as I always say.

I guess you're right.

So how would we fit that?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[exclaims excitedly]

She's ready! She's ready!

[Diego] What's happening?

It's Kylie...

Kylie!

Hey!

Oh, my God! It's beautiful!

[Lexi in English]
Diego, what do you think?

Isn't it fabulous?

Kylie, you look so beautiful.

Um, I think Diego agrees.

I mean, look at him,
he can't take his eyes off of you.

[in Filipino] You know, Fiona,

I'm sure when you wear this,
you'll be incredibly beautiful in it.

It doesn't really fit me. Not exactly.
Girl, help me get changed.

-You're really beautiful, girl. Beautiful.
-Come on!

Fiona?

[in English] Oh, hi.

Good morning.

My friends are throwing me a party
later tonight at aunt Lexi's house.

And I'm hoping you could make it tonight.

Here's the invitation, all the details
are here, so check it out.

Thank you.

[in Filipino] Does Diego know
that you invited me?

Of course.

Actually, his party is happening later,

and I think Benj just confirmed
that he's going.

I'll see you.

[Lexi] Welcome.

Kylie! Hello!

Come in, dear. The bachelorette party
of the century is about to begin!

Let the party begin.

[all cheering]

[all shrieking]

[woman] Oh, my God, go!
Shake it!

Ramon-Ramon again?

He has many talents.
Besides, he's harmless.

[men whooping]

[cheering]

Dude!

What's up, bro?

So glad you could make it.
The party is just getting started.

[men cheering]

[grunts]

[girls squealing]

[men cheering]

Whoa! What?

[Benj gagging]

[sighs]

[in English] My crown.

I'm such a princess and
I'm marrying my Prince Charming.

[in Filipino] Isn't Diego great?

He's so smart, nice, attentive.

Am I lucky or what?

[laughs]

You're really lucky, but Diego
is really lucky with you as well.

You think so?

Yes. You're pretty, smart, hard-working.

It isn't a wonder
why Diego fell in love with you.

No other girl stands a chance.

Aww...

[in English] Kylie, you're too sweet.

But you know what? You're right.

I don't have any reason not to be happy.

[in Filipino] I mean, out of all
the women who have fallen for Diego,

he chose me. He asked me to marry him.

Everyone else can suck it.

[laughing]

Okay, I've got to go.

I have an early day
at the office tomorrow.

Stay. I enjoy talking to you.

We've got loads of time to talk later on.

I have to go now.
Take care and congrats!

Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

[sighs]

[scoffs]

Who does she think she is? As if!

[Benj] Simple but elegant.
What do you think?

Hmm...

Honestly, they all look the same to me.

I just hope Fiona picks something

'cause we've already been
to several jewelry shops.

Okay. We'll just call you, then.
Doesn't like it.

You know, the son of this store's owner
is a client of ours.

So if you end up liking anything,
we can ask for a discount.

Hmm...

Where is Fiona?
Don't tell me she's busy again.

Hopefully on your wedding day,
she can finally be on time.

What?

But you know, I really can't blame her

if she still can't pick one because
a wedding ring symbolizes her love.

She's going to wear that forever.
It represents endlessness.

A love that can't be broken. So maybe...

[cellphone ringing]

Sorry. Excuse me.

Uh... Yes?

[Benj chattering indistinctly]

Benj, what if I ask Kylie
to help me with my wedding vows?

Why?

Because I haven't written any yet.

What's wrong with you?
You just write it from the heart.

What was it about Fiona that you
fell in love with in the first place?

I know, let's pretend that I'm Fiona.

Tell me what you're feeling.

Of course we need to hold hands.
Look me in the eyes.

Ah...

Dude, focus!
We're just doing this for practice.

Okay.

Imagine I am the woman
you're in love with.

Look me in the eye.

Mmm...

[in falsetto]
What do you want to say to me?

Fiona...

[shushing]

Don't start with that. It's outdated.

Hmm...

Um...

[in English] You're... you're beautiful.

[chuckles softly]

Thanks.

What else? You're...

Uh... Excuse me?

I don't mean to disturb...

[in Filipino] But the client
with the Boracay wedding called.

He wants to cancel the hotel bookings.

Says he hasn't received
any e-mails from you yet.

You might want to call him back?

Excuse me. Hold that thought.

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm asking Benj to help me
with my wedding vows.

Let me hear it.

I haven't got anything yet.

Okay.

[Diego sighs heavily]

[in English] I want my wife...

to be someone
I can truly be comfortable with.

Someone I can share my dreams,

knowing that she'll always be
there to support me.

Someone who can laugh at my jokes.

No matter how corny they are.

Someone I can dance and sing with.

Someone who'll hold my hand

and who'll make me feel
that everything else doesn't matter.

That's all I ever wanted.

That's all I need.

What was that about?

[Diego] Uh...

That was for you.

Yeah.

[In Filipino]
Diego really loves you, Fiona.

I'm so happy for the both of you.

[Benj] Yes, you were saying?

Yes. Time is gold.

Benj!

Kylie, hello! Benj! Come in.

[Kylie] Why did we even come?

You do know
that this is a celebration of love

for the man of your dreams
and his fiancée.

You know where we should be right now?

At a bar. Drinking.
Getting men to sit with us.

[in English] Ladies, gentlemen
and gentle gays,

may I have your attention, please?

I'm really so happy
that you are all here tonight...

And please, my home is your home.

So now, let us all welcome the reason
why we are all gathered here.

The stars of the night!
The loving couple...

Diego and Fiona!

Here, Fiona.

Thank you, Auntie Lexi.

Diego, you stay here.

[waiter] Excuse me.

[Benj clears throat]

[Benj laughing]

[whispering and laughing indistinctly]

But there's nothing funny about that.

Girl, I think you've had
a bit too much. Slow down a bit.

Then, isn't it right? He can be.

[Benj laughing]

[in English] What? I don't know
what you're talking about.

[Kylie, in Filipino] Why are you
so incredibly handsome?

Get a grip, Kylie.

You shouldn't yearn for him like this.
Just remember that he's gay. I mean...

Just look at him.

Hair, check.

Skin, check.

Clothes, check.

Pinky, check.

Enough is enough.

Gay.

You're gay!

You're gay!

Kylie, what's wrong with you?

Control yourself. This isn't the time
to have some emotional breakdown.

What's wrong?

You're gay as well.

Yes, dear, I know. Since birth.

Sorry, she's had a bit too much
to drink. Come on outside.

You're gay, too!

You're gay as well. You... gay.
Especially you! You're all gay!

Why are you all hiding it?

It's so obvious.
Even if you don't admit it,

I know you're gay,
because all my ex-boyfriends were gay.

It's getting really annoying!
You're all fake!

That's how you all are.

You guys give us hope,
and we idiots end up hoping.

We think we're so pretty
'cause you gave us the time of day.

But it turns out we were just
your cover girls because you are all gay!

Kylie, this is embarrassing.

What?

Please stop. Please excuse her,
she's had a lot to drink.

Please, can you stop pretending

and come out of your closet already
because you are so gay.

You're gay!

I'm so sorry.

Come on. Let's go.

I don't want to go!

Kylie, let's go.

-But why?
-Let's go.

Let go of me, you gays!

Kylie, please!

Kylie, this is really embarrassing.

Kylie, what's wrong with you?
What is going on with you?

You're gay!

Yeah!

What's up, Kylie?

You're gay, too.
And you have the hots for Diego.

Can you just shut up?

Oh?

Well, this is your chance
to say that big speech

about how Diego is the great love
of your secret gay life!

Oh! Oh!

Don't you dare show your face
to me ever again!

You really should be thanking me.
Only the truth will set you free.

Look at me, free as a butterfly.

Because butterflies that flock together,
stays... What's that? Or was it birds?

-Kylie...
-What? Let go of me! You're gay!

Why do you keep on saying that I'm gay?

Because I love you.

Yes! It's a big revelation.

All the men that I like
turn out to be gay.

All of them!

I really don't know
what the gods have against me

and why they've cursed me
to fall in love with gay men.

Every single one!

Wait a moment.

You love me?

[sobbing] I'm such an idiot, right?

I didn't learn my lesson the first time.

And out of all the gay guys in my life,

you are the gayest.

You know why?

Because you're the one I love the most.

And the sad reality is...

...whether you're gay or not,
no matter what angle you look at it,

you could never love me back, right?

Kylie...

[Fiona, in English] Diego,
what the hell is going on?

Fiona... I'm so sorry.

[in Filipino] I ruined your party.
I ruined everything.

I'm so sorry.

[Diego] I know it's late,
and I don't want to keep you guys waiting.

Um...

I'll just give you a call
when we can meet up with you again.

[Benj] No problem.

Apologies again. I'm sorry.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry I'm late.

Traffic was horrendous. My God!

Well... they just left.

But why?

[sighs]

You're two hours late, Fiona.

You can't expect people
to just wait around for you.

Especially now that Benj has backed out
and we need to find a new wedding planner.

It isn't my fault
your friend is so unprofessional.

Maybe it's a good thing
that we're changing planners...

[in English]
Because to be honest with you,

I don't like their taste.
Especially that girl, that Kylie girl.

My God, she's so tacky.

[in Filipino] Fiona, you're never around
for any of the preparations.

Kylie is always there.

She's been there
every step of the way to help me out.

If you could maybe prioritize
this wedding of ours,

you'd have things done
just the way you want.

Okay. Fine.
That's fine, it's all my fault.

Since you and Kylie are always together
planning this wedding,

why don't you two just get married?

[in English] Fiona, please,
don't be immature.

No.

Diego, seriously, I mean it.

[in Filipino] You seem to enjoy
yourself more when you're with her.

Come on.

The person already resigned, let's not
drag her into our personal problems.

[in English] Look, can we just focus
on the wedding?

-I need you here beside me.
-[sighs]

We're talking about our future here.

This was part of our plan, remember?

Yes, but that was years ago.

Did you ever bother asking me
if this was what I still wanted?

I was gonna move to Germany,
for Pete's sake.

And now you're asking me to settle down
with you, to have kids with you.

And to sacrifice my career?

[in Filipino] But you're the only one
who wants that.

You even told Benj that you'd be willing
to marry me on the side of the road.

And just as long as you're marrying me,
you're good.

How about what I want?

How about what I want?
Can't you see it, Diego?

Don't you get why I'm always late?

Because I'm pressured by this wedding.

I'm not the same girl anymore. I'm sorry.

Being with you makes me feel
so guilty about my career

and I can't let that happen.

[exhales heavily]

[Benj] Girlfriend, don't out someone who
isn't ready to come out of the closet yet.

You have no right.

[Kylie] I'm really sorry, sis,
I will never do it again.

Why do we always end up together?

Every time.

After every failed relationship...

We always end up like this.

Drowning our sorrows in alcohol.

[in English] Maybe we're meant
to be together?

I'd rather be
with my best friend than be alone.

Well,

it is kind of nice being alone with you.

[Nap] One piece of advice, son.

When all fails, drop everything else
and follow your heart.

[breathes deeply]

[phone line ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Benj.
Thank you for answering my call.

Um...

[in Filipino] I have a favor to ask you.

Do you know where Kylie is?

I really need to talk to her.

[Benj] She wants to be alone, Diego.
She doesn't wanna talk to you.

[Diego] Please, Benj!

Kylie!

What are you doing here?

The wedding is off.

Why?

The bride and groom had a talk...

and they both realized...

...that they weren't meant for each other.

The bride seems to have changed her mind.

And the groom, well,
he loves someone else.

Who?

With the girl who thinks he's gay.

You did say that you only
fell in love with gay guys.

Right?

That sounds about right.

Well, just for the record,

promise.

I'm really straight.

But if it means that
you'll fall in love with me, too...

...then I have something to admit to you.

I'm willing to be gay.

Gay-ish.

Flamboyantly gay.

All the way gay.

Any level of gay.

Just to prove to you

how much I love you.

Oh, my gosh! Confirmed!

[girl] Cheers! Kiss!

[upbeat song playing]

[people cheering]

[cheering]

[Kylie] Kiss! Kiss!

Kiss! Go, Benj!

[all cheering]

Go, Benj!

Go, girlfriend!

[whooping]

Thank you!

Love you!

[song continues]

[both screaming]

Lulu! Eww!

-Disgusting!
-Come here!

I was a victim of another gay guy
who hadn't...

[babbling] Come out of the closet yet

-of the gays...
-[crew laughs]

He can't afford...

[laughing] Visayan.

That should be our...

target, uh, market.

[both laughing]

Do it first.

-[both laughing]
-Sorry, sorry.

Love is all that matters.

Really?

-You could say that...
-[both scream]

You can't be 'cause
you won't be a couple...

[laughing]

You don't like him.

Okay, we'll find someone
who'll seduce him.

[all laughing]

You're making me crazy!

You didn't tell me
that Diego is a Zaragosa.

Isn't he a Mendoza?

-[crew laughing]
-[man] Cut, cut!

We should 100% be sure. Wait...

-He wants you.
-[laughing]

That's not mine anymore.

If he's really
not scared of his parents...

Who knows, Fiona's pregnant?

[laughing]

Am I the one who's hot?

I'm already 30, Ma.

-[laughing]
-Sorry!

[man] Cut!

It's big.

I miss you. How are you?

[both laughing]

She's not here, did an errand. Damn...

-this is so bitter.
-[crew laughing]

[screams]

[sneezes] Excuse me!

[laughing]