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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:37,733 ♪ There was a ripple in the tide 4 00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:41,084 ♪ I was the tide man watching away 5 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,742 ♪ I warned Olympic swimmers 6 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:50,920 ♪ You can't outswim sneaker waves 7 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,925 ♪ There was a breaker in the sand 8 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:59,798 ♪ I was the brakeman put in charge 9 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:05,152 ♪ I warned Olympic runners 10 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:16,511 ♪ You can't outrun shooting stars 11 00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:25,607 ♪ And when there is a nowhere day 12 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:32,222 ♪ I'll wrap my arms around the hours ♪ 13 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,445 - Ryan! Ryan! 14 00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,664 - Cindy! Over here! 15 00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,623 - I'm not leaving. 16 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,190 I decided not to move to London. 17 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,322 - I didn't think you were ever coming back. 18 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,063 - I had to, Ryan. 19 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:47,977 - When that psychic told me 20 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,457 that I would meet the one, 21 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,329 it was your face that popped in my head. 22 00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:54,114 - But she said it was your ex-girlfriend. 23 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,898 - What do psychics know anyway? 24 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,552 - Nothing. 25 00:01:57,595 --> 00:02:00,032 Psychics are so wrong, all the time. 26 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,731 - I've always loved you. 27 00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,994 From the moment I met you. 28 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,998 ♪ Gotta shut the world down 29 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:14,046 ♪ And breakdown so I can see what's left of me 30 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,311 ♪ Time for me to be alone 31 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,922 ♪ Where I feel home 32 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,838 - Okay, thank you all for 33 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,493 coming to the first film night at The Warehouse. 34 00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:28,104 I promise they won't all be romantic comedies. 35 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,192 - Gay! 36 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,715 - Yes, it was gay, 37 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,195 especially when the guy kissed the girl at the end, 38 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,414 that was gay. 39 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,633 There's a dictionary behind you, by the way. 40 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:36,852 - I thought it was very good. 41 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:37,940 - Did you cry? 42 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,898 - Well, my eyes may have- 43 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,770 - You cried at the "Future Perfect." 44 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,425 - I'm not afraid to let a piece of art move me. 45 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,775 - What about you Laura, were you moved by that piece of art? 46 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,733 - Uh, well, I don't cry as easily as Edward, 47 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,561 but I thought it was good. 48 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:51,910 - Yeah, I didn't really dig it. 49 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,216 - But you chose it. 50 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,783 - Yeah, I thought since it was a low-budget deal 51 00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:56,698 it wouldn't be so cliche at the end, you know? 52 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,569 - Hi, can I get a vanilla skim latte? 53 00:02:58,613 --> 00:02:59,962 - Yeah, sure. 54 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:01,181 That's my thing with romantic comedies though, 55 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,574 they end where they should begin, you know? 56 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,793 They're in the street, making out. 57 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,708 "I've loved you my whole life." 58 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,144 "Oh, me too, Ryan." 59 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:08,840 Then what? 60 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,190 Where do they go? 61 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,278 Does Ryan have indigestion and he's like, 62 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,844 "Hey, this has been a great moment 63 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,933 "but my stomach hurts, can we go get some Immodium AD?" 64 00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,326 It just leads to the usual steps 65 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,110 of a relationship, you know? 66 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,721 They're in love, everything's great, 67 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,376 and then they get used to each other, sex is a chore, 68 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,987 they're eating the same three meals every week 69 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:27,598 and then two years later they break up. 70 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,774 Then it's all over Facebook, they have to take themselves 71 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,515 off Facebook because it's too painful 72 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,169 to look at pictures of each other 73 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,779 but then they get back on Facebook 'cause it's the only way 74 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,346 you can meet anybody new these days 75 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,392 'cause nobody asks for a phone number, it's all Facebook, 76 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,350 and you can just repeat the cycle with someone new. 77 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,744 Thank you for coming, sorry if I'm, uh- 78 00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:43,875 - No, thank you. 79 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:45,312 It was a great film. 80 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,965 - I mean, don't get me wrong, I liked the movie. 81 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,967 But it's just the fun part of the story, you know? 82 00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,621 What happens afterwards? 83 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,362 - You are a cynical son of a bitch. 84 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,624 - I'm a realist. 85 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:54,930 - What if it lasts forever? 86 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,888 - Then they're incredibly lucky and weird. 87 00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,281 - It'll happen for you one day, Brian. 88 00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,500 Then you'll think differently. 89 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,677 - Yeah not everybody is you dickheads. 90 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,941 - I really want to get my poetry in front of people. 91 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,247 - I did a web series last year 92 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,726 but it wasn't on the internet. 93 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,902 You have to know about it. 94 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,426 - Is that how it happened for you guys? 95 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,645 Making out on the street like the "Future Perfect?" 96 00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,605 - Great film, man, great freaking film. 97 00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,084 - I thought so too. 98 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,477 - What was the last film you liked that much, Jason, 99 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,305 was it "Happy Feet," "Happy Feet 2?" 100 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,612 - Yeah, those are good movies, the "Happy Feets." 101 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:27,310 And, um, we still have customers, 102 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,746 this is drinking on the job. 103 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,487 - Yes, it is but how else do you expect me 104 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,141 to get through this job? 105 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:33,795 - Are you kidding? 106 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,101 In this economy, there are 25 Mexicans out there 107 00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,321 who'd risk their lives to have your job. 108 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,540 - Well, bring them in here, 109 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,976 I need to practice my Spanish anyway. 110 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,413 - I'm gonna let this slide one time, 111 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,980 because it's movie night. 112 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:45,850 - Thank you so much, Jason. 113 00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:47,461 - No, don't drink the beer. 114 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,462 - I thought you were letting it slide. 115 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:50,551 - Up till now, obviously. 116 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,030 Stop drinking. 117 00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,336 - Well, I don't know, what would the Mexicans do? 118 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,295 - The Mexicans wouldn't be drinking. 119 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,774 - We must know different Mexicans. 120 00:04:56,818 --> 00:05:00,038 - That's racist. 121 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,692 Edward, would you like to finish this? 122 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,738 - Thank you Jason, yes. 123 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,480 - Jason, hey. 124 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:07,263 - Hey! 125 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,482 - Thanks for the invite. 126 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,006 - Ashley, this is Brian, one of my baristas, 127 00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:13,878 and Edward and Laura, two of our best regulars. 128 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:15,750 - So you're the guy who chose the film? 129 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,360 - I thought it would be less cliche. 130 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,230 - No, it was okay. 131 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,362 A little cheesy at the end. 132 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,016 "Oh, Cindy, it's always been you!" 133 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,670 Shoot me in the face, right? 134 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,367 - Thank you, you're a genius. 135 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,847 How are you friends with Jason? 136 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,196 - Excuse me, your internet connection, 137 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:28,589 I think it's fucked up. 138 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,721 - All right, one second. 139 00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:33,942 We close in 20 minutes, then you can have a beer. 140 00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:37,424 - I appreciate it. 141 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,731 - You're a brat. 142 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,385 - No seriously, you're friends with Jason? 143 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,821 - Oh, Jason's great. 144 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:44,779 - You're not like, dating or anything? 145 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,346 - Oh god no, no, no. 146 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,695 - See, that's why I was confused. 147 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,436 - No, I mean, we went to college together. 148 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,612 I just moved here to Jersey City from Brooklyn 149 00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,048 and he's showing me around. 150 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,790 - Oh, well, welcome to beautiful downtown Jersey City. 151 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:56,921 - Yeah, thank you. 152 00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,401 - I think we're gonna take off, dude. 153 00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,620 - Nice film, Brian. 154 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:00,882 - Yeah, well, the fat guy was funny. 155 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,449 - They always are. 156 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,146 - You know, you're like the funny fat guy of our group here. 157 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,234 - That is rude. 158 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,366 - Well you're fat and funny. 159 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,715 - I am not funny. 160 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,456 Come on, dear, I've been insulted. 161 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,979 - We'll have to show you around. 162 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,154 There's a lot more cool stuff than just this coffee shop. 163 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,852 - Yeah, I'll stalk you on Facebook. 164 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,637 - Yeah, there's also one cool bar. 165 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,507 - One? 166 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,682 Is it a dirty strip club? 167 00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,075 - Yes, male strippers though. 168 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:20,858 - Funny fat guys? 169 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,991 - Yes, exactly. 170 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,863 So what do you, what's your profession? 171 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,082 - Profession? 172 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,431 I don't even have a job. 173 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,693 - Well, I had to steal this beer. 174 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,912 - I stole this dress. 175 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:31,652 - Really? 176 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:32,870 - Yeah, from a child. 177 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,090 - Uh, I work at a coffee shop, so. 178 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,744 - I'm a comedian and actor. 179 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,180 - Yeah, I'm a filmmaker. 180 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,487 - Oh, that's why the impeccable taste in films. 181 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,923 - I thought it would be better! 182 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,707 - No, it was okay, I'm just fucking with you. 183 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,143 - It wasn't bad. 184 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,841 You wanna hear my theories on relationships? 185 00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:49,583 - You know I knew there was a reason why I came out tonight. 186 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,585 - So you have this initial high, right? 187 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:52,455 You're in love. 188 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,457 That lasts a few weeks. 189 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:08,123 ♪ Late at night 190 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,865 ♪ When I'm awake 191 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:15,913 ♪ And everyone has gone to sleep 192 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,742 ♪ I hear a noise 193 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,528 ♪ From far away 194 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:26,576 ♪ It's like nothing I've ever heard 195 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,710 ♪ I asked my brother 196 00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:32,713 ♪ What is that sound 197 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:37,152 ♪ That keeps me from sleeping 198 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:40,808 ♪ He said every time we turn around 199 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:45,726 ♪ Every time we turn around 200 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,686 - That's what I'm saying, things were different 201 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:53,168 in her generation, people didn't go to therapy. 202 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,824 - Hey Liz, what are you up to? 203 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,739 - Just re-reading Leviticus. 204 00:07:58,782 --> 00:07:59,740 - Friday night, man. 205 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,785 - I know, I'm such a loser. 206 00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,396 Well I had a date but it ended early. 207 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,746 - Oh, you didn't like him? 208 00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,487 - I feel like he just wanted to sleep with me. 209 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,532 He just kept staring at my boobs. 210 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,447 I told him I was a Christian and he thought 211 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,405 I was joking, so. 212 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:14,711 - Back to Leviticus. 213 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:15,930 - You know? 214 00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:18,454 I mean, where is my real life Jesus Christ? 215 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,064 - Probably in the Middle East. 216 00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:22,763 - Yeah, right? 217 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,243 - Water. 218 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,558 - Two people come together to decide to be 219 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,168 a certain thing. 220 00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,648 They say, okay, here's who we are, here's what we like to do 221 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,911 and if one of them strays too far from that- 222 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,565 - It's break up city. 223 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:43,740 - Exactly. 224 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:44,915 - Yeah, I'm just over the whole thing. 225 00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,569 You know my psychic says when I'm 30, 226 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,962 I'm gonna meet the man of my dreams. 227 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,225 - I'm sorry, your psychic, like in that movie? 228 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:51,661 You're joking, right? 229 00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:52,836 - Yeah, I'm kidding. 230 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,316 Well, I'm kind of kidding. 231 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,405 Ehh, I do have a psychic. 232 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,798 - You have a psychic? 233 00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,364 Like people have a therapist you have a psychic? 234 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,584 - Well no, they're cheaper and just as valid. 235 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:02,890 - You're insane. 236 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,631 That's something I found out about you just now, 237 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:05,893 you're an insane person. 238 00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,285 That's good, let's get it all out now. 239 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:10,767 - You pay to talk to someone, just like therapy. 240 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,116 You've never been? 241 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,248 - No. 242 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,597 - Five years in New York City 243 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:15,903 and you've never been to a psychic? 244 00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:16,904 - Absolutely not. 245 00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:17,644 - Oh, we're going. 246 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:18,862 - No way. 247 00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:19,602 - Yeah, I'm gonna take you to one. 248 00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:20,560 - I don't want to go. 249 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:21,952 - Yes, what are you scared of? 250 00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,737 - I'm scared that they're gonna give me a ring 251 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,303 and say you need to go on a quest 252 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,914 and put this ring in a volcano 253 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,655 or else the world is gonna end. 254 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:29,960 - You are a dork. 255 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:30,744 - I'm not a dork - You are a big fat 256 00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:31,832 dork. 257 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:41,885 - I'm not fat. 258 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,848 - You know what I fucking hate? 259 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:48,544 Weddings. 260 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,676 - Me too. 261 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:50,894 - The horrible DJ, - Yes. 262 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:51,765 - The old people laughing 263 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:52,896 at the crazy kids dancing. 264 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,420 - Yes, if I ever get married, no DJ. 265 00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:56,944 Maybe a jazz band. 266 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,599 - Oh, my first wedding is gonna have a grunge cover band. 267 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,775 - What about the next couple weddings? 268 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,299 - Oh, I figure by that time it's just off to the courthouse. 269 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,822 - Of course. 270 00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,781 See, Ed and Laura say I'm pessimistic and I'm selfish, 271 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,739 but I don't want to get married and have kids. 272 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:10,871 You know why? 273 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:11,741 - Because you're immature? 274 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,264 - Yes, 'cause I'm immature. 275 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:14,875 Also because I don't want to be in my 40's 276 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,268 and have every other weekend taken up. 277 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,183 You like that one, don't you? 278 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,445 You can use that in your act. 279 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:23,318 - Oh, I'm not a total asshole on stage. 280 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,625 - Fair enough. 281 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:30,717 - Sorry. 282 00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:37,071 - Your roommate's nuts, you know that? 283 00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:37,985 - Yep. 284 00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:40,161 Nuts for Jesus. 285 00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:43,033 - I can't wait 'till we get our own place. 286 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,558 - I miss my nieces so much. 287 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,082 - Yeah. 288 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,562 - I think I want to move back home. 289 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:52,956 - Really? 290 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,089 - Yeah, well, I mean. 291 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,786 Wow, I just said that, huh? 292 00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,440 - Yeah, you did. 293 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,834 - Well, I mean, I'm just thinking about it. 294 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,574 - What would that mean for us? 295 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,185 - Well, I don't know. 296 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,882 I mean, you don't want to move to St. Louis, right? 297 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,580 - Yeah, no, I cannot do that. 298 00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:10,931 - Well, I guess that's why we need to talk about it. 299 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,283 - So how definite is this? 300 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,937 - It's not definite. 301 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,460 I mean there's this. 302 00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,723 - This meaning me. 303 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:24,422 Well I don't want to lose you, Laura. 304 00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,773 - I don't want to lose you either, Edward, that's- 305 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,818 - But you want to leave New York? 306 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:29,950 - I want to be with my family. 307 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,691 I need that right now. 308 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,083 - And not this. 309 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,563 - I didn't say that. 310 00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:40,874 - Well, marry me, I don't know. 311 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,702 - Yeah, see, those are the kinds of words that are gonna 312 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:43,877 come back to haunt us. 313 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:44,747 - I just asked you to marry me. 314 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,053 - No you didn't. 315 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,098 You just said, "Well, I don't know, marry me." 316 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,753 - The point was the "marry me" part. 317 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,668 - It wasn't even in the form of a question. 318 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:57,194 I mean, I don't think we're strong enough. 319 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,111 - We can be stronger. 320 00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,898 - I don't think we can. 321 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,856 Do you? 322 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,773 - I guess not. 323 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,997 Fuck, are we breaking up? 324 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,781 - This really sucks, I wasn't trying to do this- 325 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,565 - Don't do it. 326 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,959 - Well, I don't know what to do, you- 327 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:29,357 - It's just, like, out of nowhere. 328 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,456 ♪ I'll be waiting 329 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,731 - So, you gonna see her tonight? 330 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,385 - We're gonna see each other whenever. 331 00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:58,865 - When do you want to see her? 332 00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,823 - She's not looking for a relationship either, man. 333 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,260 - Ooh, you found someone as cold and cynical as you? 334 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:04,696 - Yes, exactly. 335 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:05,872 - You found your soulmate. 336 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,874 - I found someone who also doesn't 337 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,180 believe in stupid shit like soulmates, yeah. 338 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,139 - That's good. 339 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:14,837 - How can anyone believe in a soulmate, it's stupid. 340 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,492 'Cause you only have the people you meet 341 00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,580 to choose from, right? 342 00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,408 So, say you live in a small town. 343 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:23,846 You got like, that guy or that guy to choose from. 344 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,326 How can that be a soulmate? 345 00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:27,850 And in the greater New York City area there's 346 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,722 20 million people which gives us 50 soulmates each, 347 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,855 which negates the whole concept. 348 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,686 - Yeah. 349 00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:38,861 Could I get a refill? 350 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,210 - Yeah, sure. 351 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:42,691 - Oh, I don't wanna make a big thing but 352 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,867 Laura and I may have broken up last night. 353 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:45,781 - What? 354 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,217 - Yeah, it's not definite. 355 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:48,828 - What the fuck? 356 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,351 I never would have said that whole thing about soulmates- 357 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,005 - Yeah, this is why I don't want to make a big thing. 358 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,093 She's just thinking about moving back home 359 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:53,963 to be with her family. 360 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:54,834 - Are you kidding me? 361 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:55,791 Ed, that's crazy. 362 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,706 - You know, I get it, family. 363 00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:58,881 - You get it? 364 00:13:58,925 --> 00:13:59,882 Are you not filled with emotion right now? 365 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,101 I mean, you can let it out. 366 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,494 - Yeah, yeah but you know, it's not definite. 367 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,279 - Well, where did you leave it? 368 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,889 - She had to go to work. 369 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,805 - That's where you left it, she went to work? 370 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,676 - We don't have to talk about it all day. 371 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,504 Let's just go grab that coffee. 372 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:14,723 Oh, is that your soulmate? 373 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,594 - Yeah, she fucking loves me, dude. 374 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,074 Sorry. 375 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,732 ♪ Turn the channel black one more 376 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,908 ♪ I swore I saw someone I met before 377 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:30,565 ♪ I shook hands with that lady on the train 378 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:33,220 ♪ She was laughing in despair 379 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,570 ♪ I made it clear I did not care 380 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:39,966 ♪ I did my best to turn the other way 381 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:44,274 ♪ But she caught me off guard 382 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,581 ♪ She called out my name 383 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,152 ♪ She stepped toward me and told me son, 384 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:54,719 ♪ I know you know about the chosen ones 385 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:58,636 ♪ I can tell it by the look that's in your eyes 386 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,857 ♪ Even though I know I had 387 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,120 ♪ I sure as hell couldn't let her know that 388 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,689 ♪ 'Cause then I'd have to finally 389 00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:08,690 ♪ Decide 390 00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:12,694 ♪ So I told myself she was crazy 391 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,566 ♪ So I could live my life 392 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:21,703 ♪ Though I know that it's not wrong 393 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:25,228 ♪ It doesn't make it right 394 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:34,237 ♪ I would open up if I could make it up 395 00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:41,941 ♪ I would welcome death if I could know what's next ♪ 396 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,164 - So, you just gently roll it between your thumb 397 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:51,124 and forefinger and you hold it up to your ear. 398 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,996 And if it sounds crackly, that means that it's probably dry 399 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,171 and not good. 400 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,738 It should be moist enough that there's 401 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,958 just a little squeeze in it. 402 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,961 Oh, and if it smells sweet, that means it's good. 403 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,093 And sometimes it can smell, like, 404 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,704 sour and that means that it's probably moldy. 405 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,358 - Wow. 406 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,839 And where do they manufacture girls like you who know this? 407 00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,972 - The fucking awesome factory. 408 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:16,627 - So is this a good cigar? 409 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,020 - I don't know. 410 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,022 How much do you want to spend? 411 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,198 - Well, he's my brother but it's his third kid, 412 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,809 so the price has to go down exponentially, I think. 413 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,376 - Yeah, I think so. 414 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:27,899 By this point you probably should just by him a cigarette 415 00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,510 or something. 416 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,859 - All right, sit down. 417 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,729 - Why? 418 00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,209 - Sit down with it. 419 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,733 - You think I look funny with a cigar in my mouth. 420 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:37,387 - No, I think you look sexy with that cigar- 421 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:41,000 - Oh, well in that case. 422 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,438 - Let me see you work it. 423 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:45,743 Yeah! 424 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,789 All right, now like you're a real tough guy. 425 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:51,271 You're the head of a very dangerous crime family. 426 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,620 - Yeah, I'm a real tough guy, 427 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,491 head of a very dangerous crime family. 428 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:57,886 Yeah, you walk in here, asking me a favor? 429 00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,236 Why shouldn't I just rip your kneecaps from your legs, 430 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,716 you dirty son of a bitch? 431 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:02,891 - Yes! 432 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:03,805 That's good. 433 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:04,675 You're going to Hollywood, kid, 434 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:05,894 you're gonna be a big star. 435 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:08,940 - Yeah, there was one time I believed that. 436 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,334 - So, should we buy this cigar? 437 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:15,121 - Yeah, I think we kind of have to now. 438 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:20,561 Thank you. 439 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:26,828 - Thanks. 440 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:41,103 - You have a gigantic head. 441 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:56,075 - You have a gigantic head. 442 00:17:56,075 --> 00:18:04,474 - You have a gigantic head. 443 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:09,871 - So how are the tips here? 444 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,351 I don't know if I trust Jersey people. 445 00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,875 - Well, it's not Manhattan money, but I can walk here. 446 00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,355 - The coffee tastes like poop. 447 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,096 - Why did you get coffee at a bar? 448 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,793 - Um, I'm an addict, a junkie. 449 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,621 I had to give the kitchen guy a hand job. 450 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,884 - Hey, don't joke, I have friends who are addicts. 451 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,190 - I have friends who give hand jobs. 452 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,105 - I said don't joke. 453 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,845 - Hey, I used to do drugs too. 454 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,151 - Oh really? 455 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,022 I never thought you'd be cool enough to do drugs. 456 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,633 - Oh yeah, all the classics. 457 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:36,463 - I don't want to get involved with anyone who does drugs. 458 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,073 - So are we getting involved? 459 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,553 - I said I don't want to get involved. 460 00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,076 - Right, yeah, me neither. 461 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,512 - Yeah, are we really even talking about this right now? 462 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,774 - We don't have to. 463 00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:44,993 Let sleeping dogs lie. 464 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,864 - You know, that's the most romantic thing 465 00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,170 anyone's ever said to me. 466 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,172 - But you are working at my watering hole now, 467 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,261 so if we stop talking to each other 468 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:53,828 one of us is gonna have to go. 469 00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,873 - Well, they're putting me up on their open mic tonight 470 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,353 so I'm like a fixture here. 471 00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,833 - Hey, I've been a fixture here. 472 00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,791 I kept them in business in 2008. 473 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,097 I haven't taken a day off in a month. 474 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,926 - From drinking? 475 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,145 - Why are we even talking about this? 476 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,711 We're gonna last at least a few more weeks. 477 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:09,496 - Oh, that's optimistic. 478 00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:10,801 - Plus, you might get fired. 479 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:11,715 - Why? 480 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,630 - That table's waving at you. 481 00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:14,979 - Excuse me. 482 00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,940 - For those of you in the back, I am standing. 483 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:23,074 I'm 4'9" on my license. 484 00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:26,339 For some reason really, really tall guys really dig me. 485 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,298 Which isn't so bad, I have most of the conversation 486 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,517 to their crotch. 487 00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,869 And that is not a bad thing, ladies. 488 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:38,525 But last night it did have its downfall. 489 00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:40,440 I went out on a date 490 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,617 and he was very tall, very sexy. 491 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,575 And the waiter brought us to our table 492 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,664 and brought him the wine list and 493 00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,753 brought me a placemat and a box of crayons. 494 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,103 Yeah. 495 00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:53,757 For appetizers we ordered coconut shrimp 496 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:56,151 and it ended in an Amber Alert. 497 00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,721 Next thing I know Chris Hanson came in and arrested my date. 498 00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:04,681 - Hey. 499 00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:05,987 You work at The Warehouse. 500 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,467 - Vanilla skim latte. 501 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:08,337 - Always on the clock. 502 00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,209 - I am a workaholic. 503 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,210 - Clearly. 504 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:11,993 I'm Nicole. 505 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,516 - Brian. 506 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,691 That's funny, we see each other every morning and- 507 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:15,649 - Are you a comedian? 508 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:16,911 - No, no, I'm a filmmaker. 509 00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:18,217 - Oh cool. 510 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,870 I'm friends with Marisa, she's the one with the- 511 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,176 - She's the slutty one. 512 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,091 - Yeah. 513 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,092 - Well that's what her act was about. 514 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:25,789 - Yeah, she's really funny. 515 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,051 Who are you here to see? 516 00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:29,053 - Ashley, the girl who goes on- 517 00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:31,186 - Oh yeah, the single girl who goes on all the bad dates. 518 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,492 - Yeah, the single girl. 519 00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,276 - Guess she's not so single after all, huh? 520 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,408 - Oh, I don't know. 521 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:36,626 - Yeah, right. 522 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:37,932 Well, see you in the morning. 523 00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:40,543 - Yeah, see you in the morning. 524 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,245 - You brat, I told you not to come! 525 00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,724 - Hey, you were really funny. 526 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,465 - I just need to get over that hump, you know? 527 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,684 A rebound girl. 528 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,033 - You tired of rebound jerking off? 529 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,774 - Sounds like an extreme sport. 530 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,732 - Yeah, right, with bumpers on the walls. 531 00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:58,909 - I haven't had sex with anyone but Laura in over two years. 532 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,868 I don't remember how you get girls to sleep with you. 533 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,827 - Ashley, can you get us a roofies and Coke from the bar? 534 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,307 - Actually, I'm gonna go home. 535 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:06,569 - Not into date rape humor? 536 00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:07,831 - I just had a weird set, 537 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,224 I want to do some writing tomorrow. 538 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,747 - Okay, so I'll call you. 539 00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:13,184 - Yeah, I'm gonna be pretty busy tomorrow though. 540 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,404 - Okay, so I'll call you the day after. 541 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:16,753 - Okay, or- 542 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,233 - Or totally not the day after. 543 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,365 - Or I'll call you. 544 00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:20,235 - Okay. 545 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,845 Whichever. 546 00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,325 - All right, bye. 547 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,980 - Uh, can I have a kiss, or? 548 00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:28,939 - See you guys. 549 00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:32,203 - Was that just weird? 550 00:21:32,247 --> 00:21:33,901 - Yep. 551 00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:34,771 - You wanna get drunker? 552 00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:35,685 - Yep. 553 00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:36,991 - Okay. 554 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:42,823 - Hey, it's me. 555 00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:44,694 Did you know that near my house is a place 556 00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:48,089 that serves beer and has video games? 557 00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:50,526 Yeah, well, I'd like to challenge you to a 558 00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:51,788 "Ms. Pac-Man off." 559 00:21:51,832 --> 00:21:55,183 I was thinking maybe you could "Pac me off" 560 00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,750 and I'll "Ms. Pan-Man you off." 561 00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:01,276 Anyway, um, 562 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,365 give me a call back, I work tomorrow 563 00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:05,889 but then I have the next couple days off after that. 564 00:22:05,933 --> 00:22:08,718 And, uh, love to hang out. 565 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:18,859 All right, later. 566 00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:24,908 - I like how it's not clingy, you know? 567 00:22:24,952 --> 00:22:26,910 I mean, we haven't even talked in a couple days. 568 00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:28,347 - Is that why you keep checking your phone? 569 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,436 - Well, I left her a message. 570 00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:32,307 And sent her some texts and an email 571 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,049 and it's her turn to contact me, that's all. 572 00:22:35,092 --> 00:22:36,877 - Yeah, I got it, okay. 573 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,879 - Yeah, how are you holding up, man? 574 00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:39,662 How about you? 575 00:22:39,706 --> 00:22:40,533 - I'm good. 576 00:22:40,576 --> 00:22:41,882 I'm doing better every day. 577 00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:44,101 Thinking about starting to do T'ai Chi. 578 00:22:44,145 --> 00:22:45,755 - T'ai Chi would be great. 579 00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:47,322 - Yeah, I think it would be really helpful. 580 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,932 - We should both start doing T'ai Chi. 581 00:22:48,976 --> 00:22:51,152 - T'ai Chi would be so awesome right now. 582 00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:54,155 - No, man, that's why I came here, I haven't seen her. 583 00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:57,158 - I don't know what to tell you. 584 00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:58,899 She was a no-call, no-show today. 585 00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:01,945 - That's the transient nature of this whole thing, isn't it? 586 00:23:01,989 --> 00:23:04,208 Easy come, easy go. 587 00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:05,906 - Sorry, what whole thing? 588 00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:08,735 - This, everything, life. 589 00:23:08,778 --> 00:23:09,910 - You all right, man? 590 00:23:09,953 --> 00:23:11,738 - Uh, he just got out of a relationship. 591 00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:13,870 - Oh shit, sorry. 592 00:23:13,914 --> 00:23:15,829 Yeah, whiskey and porn. 593 00:23:15,872 --> 00:23:17,570 That's how you get through this, trust me. 594 00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:18,832 - Well I got the whiskey part down. 595 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,573 - It's whiskey and porn. 596 00:23:20,616 --> 00:23:21,922 That's very, very important. 597 00:23:21,965 --> 00:23:23,706 You need both to get through this. 598 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,099 - That's actually pretty brilliant. 599 00:23:25,142 --> 00:23:26,579 - I guess that's my life now, isn't it? 600 00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:27,884 - I think it has to be. 601 00:23:27,928 --> 00:23:29,233 - Yeah, you know, you're gonna want to start out 602 00:23:29,277 --> 00:23:30,931 with your average gangbangs and deep throats 603 00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:33,020 out of the San Fernando Valley. 604 00:23:33,063 --> 00:23:35,065 Eventually you're gonna want to step it up. 605 00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:37,851 RIght now I'm watching lesbian yoga videos from France. 606 00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:40,506 I've been single six months. 607 00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:42,551 - That's impressive. 608 00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:43,683 Whiskey and porn. 609 00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:45,424 - Yeah, whiskey and porn. 610 00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:48,035 - Hey Ashley, it's Brian. 611 00:23:48,078 --> 00:23:50,820 You might remember me from such nights as 612 00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:52,779 "the awesome one we had last weekend" 613 00:23:52,822 --> 00:23:57,914 or "the time we had sex eight times in 24 hours." 614 00:23:57,958 --> 00:24:00,787 Anyway, give me a call, 615 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,790 love to see what's going on. 616 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,270 - Sorry, dude. 617 00:24:06,314 --> 00:24:07,402 - That's it? 618 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,621 She just disappears? 619 00:24:08,664 --> 00:24:10,797 Quits her job and doesn't call me back? 620 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,363 - That's how the ball bounces. 621 00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:14,322 - Not on me, the ball doesn't bounce on me like that. 622 00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:15,802 I decide where the balls bounce. 623 00:24:15,845 --> 00:24:16,933 - Men have been trying to bounce their own balls 624 00:24:16,977 --> 00:24:18,718 since the beginning of time. 625 00:24:18,761 --> 00:24:20,633 The physics do not work. 626 00:24:20,676 --> 00:24:22,809 - I don't get it, everything was going fine. 627 00:24:22,852 --> 00:24:24,332 - You said she didn't want a relationship, right? 628 00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,682 - Yeah, okay, have the decency to say goodbye at least. 629 00:24:26,726 --> 00:24:28,118 I don't want a relationship either. 630 00:24:28,162 --> 00:24:30,164 - Maybe she had, like, an emergency or something. 631 00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:33,210 - Yeah, emergency sex with some guy with a real job. 632 00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:35,256 - Don't think like that, man. 633 00:24:35,299 --> 00:24:36,692 - What am I supposed to do? 634 00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:38,825 - I wish I could help. 635 00:24:38,868 --> 00:24:41,175 I'm gonna go home and look at porn. 636 00:24:41,218 --> 00:24:42,306 You wanna come? 637 00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:43,743 - Tempting, 638 00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:45,527 I'm good, thank you. 639 00:24:45,571 --> 00:24:47,442 - You wanted her to be your girlfriend, didn't you? 640 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:48,922 - That's not the point. 641 00:24:50,314 --> 00:25:05,025 - Sorry brother. 642 00:25:09,246 --> 00:25:11,510 - What are you so happy about? 643 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,337 It's not gonna work out. 644 00:25:13,381 --> 00:25:15,731 She might just disappear one day. 645 00:25:15,775 --> 00:25:17,037 - She's not gonna disappear. 646 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,301 - Oh please, help yourself to a Pinot Noir. 647 00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:23,304 - Did you even watch the movie? 648 00:25:23,347 --> 00:25:24,827 I went through a lot to get her. 649 00:25:24,871 --> 00:25:28,396 - Yeah, it seemed a little hokey, I'll be honest. 650 00:25:28,439 --> 00:25:30,790 - Well life's a little hokey, Brian. 651 00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:32,879 You know, you're one of those guys, you're so clever, 652 00:25:32,922 --> 00:25:35,708 you're always criticizing everything, trying to be funny. 653 00:25:35,751 --> 00:25:38,014 And that's why you're sleeping alone tonight 654 00:25:38,058 --> 00:25:42,323 and I'm having sex with her. 655 00:25:42,366 --> 00:25:43,977 - Sup dude. 656 00:25:44,020 --> 00:25:46,501 - Hey Cindy, from the movie. 657 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,939 - I actually have cramps tonight, Ryan, so- 658 00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:52,463 - There you go, real life, cramps. 659 00:25:52,507 --> 00:25:53,595 - Yeah, so? 660 00:25:53,639 --> 00:25:54,553 She's still my girlfriend, you know. 661 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,903 Maybe I'll just get a blow job. 662 00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:58,165 - I'm not gonna do that. 663 00:25:58,208 --> 00:25:59,906 - Whichever, doesn't matter. 664 00:25:59,949 --> 00:26:01,734 - Can we just go to bed? 665 00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:05,825 - Sure honey. 666 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,047 - That's my bedroom. 667 00:26:11,091 --> 00:26:21,101 Fictional assholes. 668 00:26:21,144 --> 00:26:31,067 Fictional assholes. 669 00:26:35,681 --> 00:26:37,421 Jason, hey. 670 00:26:37,465 --> 00:26:39,902 - Brian, you're not on the schedule today, right? 671 00:26:39,946 --> 00:26:40,816 - No, right. 672 00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:41,817 Listen, have you seen Ashley? 673 00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:42,992 - What do you mean? 674 00:26:43,036 --> 00:26:44,472 - She disappeared, have you talked to her? 675 00:26:44,515 --> 00:26:45,908 - Not since movie night. 676 00:26:45,952 --> 00:26:47,649 Why, did you hook up with her or something? 677 00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:50,304 - Yeah, sure, but now she's gone. 678 00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:52,915 - I didn't say you could date her. 679 00:26:52,959 --> 00:26:55,614 - No, that's done, that conversation has expired. 680 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,093 - What if I was trying to hook up with her? 681 00:26:57,137 --> 00:26:58,791 - Nobody cares what you think about me dating Ashley 682 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:01,968 because she's a missing person now and you don't matter. 683 00:27:02,011 --> 00:27:03,709 - Well, that's rude. 684 00:27:03,752 --> 00:27:06,189 I am a human being, not just your boss. 685 00:27:06,233 --> 00:27:08,627 - I'm sorry, I'm stressed out. 686 00:27:09,889 --> 00:27:10,803 - If you would have talked to me sooner 687 00:27:10,846 --> 00:27:11,847 I could've warned you. 688 00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:13,675 She's a man eater. 689 00:27:13,719 --> 00:27:15,808 - Well, that wouldn't have stopped me, I'm a woman eater. 690 00:27:15,851 --> 00:27:17,548 And not just in a vaginal way. 691 00:27:17,592 --> 00:27:19,289 - You didn't stand a chance. 692 00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:21,074 You should have talked to me first, bro. 693 00:27:21,117 --> 00:27:22,815 I'm the Wizard of Oz of women. 694 00:27:22,858 --> 00:27:25,382 - Yeah, and the Elmer Fudd of metaphors. 695 00:27:25,426 --> 00:27:26,906 Can you check and see if she's on your Facebook? 696 00:27:26,949 --> 00:27:28,908 She may have unfriended me. 697 00:27:28,951 --> 00:27:33,782 - Maybe she moved back to Brooklyn. 698 00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:39,658 You want me to check or what? 699 00:27:39,701 --> 00:27:40,920 - Brooklyn. 700 00:27:40,963 --> 00:27:42,138 That's the other side of the fucking universe. 701 00:27:42,182 --> 00:27:43,487 - Well, other side of Manhattan, actually. 702 00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:44,880 There's only six miles between you two, you know. 703 00:27:44,924 --> 00:27:46,534 - Yeah, geographically. 704 00:27:46,577 --> 00:27:47,622 - Fucking Brooklyn. 705 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,363 - Fucking Brooklyn, man. 706 00:27:49,406 --> 00:27:51,713 ♪ I'm from the sun 707 00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:53,497 ♪ Where did you come from 708 00:27:53,541 --> 00:27:55,717 ♪ Waited all those years, baby, 709 00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:57,501 ♪ Just to see 710 00:27:57,545 --> 00:27:58,720 ♪ Summer in Paris 711 00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:01,070 ♪ But she died last spring 712 00:28:01,114 --> 00:28:02,550 ♪ Venus in fur 713 00:28:02,593 --> 00:28:04,726 ♪ Such a travesty 714 00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:05,901 ♪ She choked herself in leather 715 00:28:05,945 --> 00:28:08,425 ♪ 'Cause she couldn't breathe 716 00:28:09,862 --> 00:28:11,124 - What is it with this neighborhood? 717 00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:13,648 All the guys have ironic mustaches and bow ties. 718 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,258 I feel like I'm on the set of "Bonanza." 719 00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:20,611 - Yeah, but the girls are smoking hot. 720 00:28:22,918 --> 00:28:24,572 ♪ Staring at the ceiling 721 00:28:24,615 --> 00:28:26,226 ♪ Till it's back in bed 722 00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:29,795 ♪ Spend 11 hours wondering what she said 723 00:28:29,838 --> 00:28:31,100 ♪ I'm from the sun 724 00:28:31,144 --> 00:28:33,189 ♪ Where did you come from 725 00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:34,756 ♪ I'm from the sun 726 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,497 ♪ Where did you come from 727 00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:38,978 - I think we need to start with a comedy angle. 728 00:28:39,021 --> 00:28:41,676 - Excuse me, do you like comedy? 729 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,895 - Really? 730 00:28:42,938 --> 00:28:44,897 Shouldn't you be in Times Square. 731 00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:46,812 - That didn't work. 732 00:28:46,855 --> 00:28:47,900 - We need an activity. 733 00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:48,901 We're standing around like counselors 734 00:28:48,944 --> 00:28:50,859 at a weird adult day camp. 735 00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:55,908 - Hey, sorry! 736 00:28:55,951 --> 00:28:58,214 My frisbee. 737 00:28:59,389 --> 00:29:01,652 Hey, my buddy and I are new to the neighborhood. 738 00:29:01,696 --> 00:29:03,742 Do you know where the cool coffee shops 739 00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:05,961 or bars are or anything? 740 00:29:06,005 --> 00:29:08,877 - Sorry dude, really stoned. 741 00:29:08,921 --> 00:29:11,314 - Oh, that's cool. 742 00:29:11,358 --> 00:29:14,883 Hey, do you happen to know a girl named Ashley Williams. 743 00:29:17,059 --> 00:29:18,191 - Totally, man. 744 00:29:18,234 --> 00:29:19,627 - Yeah, definitely. 745 00:29:19,670 --> 00:29:20,106 - You do? 746 00:29:20,149 --> 00:29:21,107 - Yeah. 747 00:29:21,150 --> 00:29:23,805 But the question is, man, do you? 748 00:29:23,849 --> 00:29:26,765 Do you? 749 00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:29,071 - Thanks man. 750 00:29:29,115 --> 00:29:31,770 Good stuff, really, keep it up. 751 00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:35,425 Probably have PhD's. 752 00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:38,211 - Should we split up and look for clues? 753 00:29:38,254 --> 00:29:40,953 Fuck, where did we park the Mystery Machine? 754 00:29:40,996 --> 00:29:42,650 - Yeah, it's good to see you got your sense of humor back. 755 00:29:42,693 --> 00:29:43,825 Woah, woah, woah. 756 00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:45,348 She has this weird thing with psychics. 757 00:29:45,392 --> 00:29:47,089 - Just like in the "Future Perfect." 758 00:29:47,133 --> 00:29:48,787 It's your own romantic comedy. 759 00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:50,963 - Yeah, just don't start crying or anything. 760 00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:53,487 - We should go in. 761 00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:55,141 - Goddammit Ashley. 762 00:29:57,752 --> 00:29:59,406 So you're Dina? 763 00:29:59,449 --> 00:30:01,538 - It's Russian. 764 00:30:02,844 --> 00:30:04,150 Watch your step. 765 00:30:32,308 --> 00:30:34,615 You are looking for something. 766 00:30:34,658 --> 00:30:36,573 - Yes, we are. 767 00:30:36,617 --> 00:30:38,793 - You. 768 00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:43,537 You are searching for something. 769 00:30:43,580 --> 00:30:45,278 For the answer. 770 00:30:45,321 --> 00:30:47,149 - Is that whiskey? 771 00:30:47,193 --> 00:30:49,151 - Is herbal tea from Russia. 772 00:30:49,195 --> 00:30:50,761 - It looks like whiskey. 773 00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:52,720 - It is not whiskey. 774 00:30:52,763 --> 00:30:54,853 - Can I have some? 775 00:30:54,896 --> 00:30:57,203 - I am not allowed to sell beverages, health department, 776 00:30:57,246 --> 00:30:58,465 you know. 777 00:30:58,508 --> 00:31:00,380 - Can I smell it? 778 00:31:00,423 --> 00:31:03,557 - My tea is irrelevant. 779 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,733 The answer is inside of you. 780 00:31:05,776 --> 00:31:07,909 - How do you know he's not seeking something? 781 00:31:07,953 --> 00:31:09,563 - We all seek something. 782 00:31:09,606 --> 00:31:10,738 - That's true. 783 00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:12,305 - Do you know where his thing is? 784 00:31:12,348 --> 00:31:13,784 - Sure, it's inside of him. 785 00:31:13,828 --> 00:31:17,223 - So it's just generally inside us. 786 00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:18,702 - Maybe. 787 00:31:18,746 --> 00:31:20,052 - What are you seeking? 788 00:31:20,095 --> 00:31:21,880 - We are not here for me. 789 00:31:23,446 --> 00:31:26,710 - I'm looking for a girl named Ashley. 790 00:31:26,754 --> 00:31:28,103 - I know. 791 00:31:28,147 --> 00:31:29,626 - You didn't know that. 792 00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:30,932 - I told you that. 793 00:31:30,976 --> 00:31:32,064 - You didn't say Ashley. 794 00:31:32,107 --> 00:31:34,936 - I didn't have to. 795 00:31:36,677 --> 00:31:37,852 - Do you know where she is? 796 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,636 - What do I look like, a wizard? 797 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:41,595 - Do wizards really exist? 798 00:31:41,638 --> 00:31:42,857 - Maybe. 799 00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:44,641 - Let's get back on topic, Brian. 800 00:31:44,685 --> 00:31:45,555 - They might. 801 00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:46,774 - Do you know any wizards? 802 00:31:46,817 --> 00:31:49,733 - Not personally, no. 803 00:31:49,777 --> 00:31:56,175 - So what is it that I'm seeking in here specifically? 804 00:32:00,396 --> 00:32:04,226 - The key to finding Ash-ney. 805 00:32:04,270 --> 00:32:05,967 - Ashley. 806 00:32:07,882 --> 00:32:08,927 That does kind of make sense. 807 00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:11,581 - Yeah, it does, actually, yeah. 808 00:32:12,756 --> 00:32:14,149 - You want receipt? 809 00:32:14,193 --> 00:32:15,150 - Uh, yeah, that'd be great. 810 00:32:15,194 --> 00:32:16,891 - Wait here. 811 00:32:19,502 --> 00:32:21,678 - Tax write-off. 812 00:32:24,203 --> 00:32:25,944 Whiskey. 813 00:32:27,510 --> 00:32:29,164 - There's a tall drink of water here in the front row. 814 00:32:29,208 --> 00:32:30,426 What's your name? 815 00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:31,297 - Robert. 816 00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:32,559 - Robert, how tall are you? 817 00:32:32,602 --> 00:32:33,342 - 6'4". 818 00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:34,953 - 6'4"? Come on up here! 819 00:32:34,996 --> 00:32:36,693 Everyone, give Robert a round of applause, 820 00:32:36,737 --> 00:32:37,781 let's get him up here. 821 00:32:39,566 --> 00:32:42,003 And are you single or married? 822 00:32:42,047 --> 00:32:43,222 - I'm single. 823 00:32:43,265 --> 00:32:45,702 - Boxers or briefs. 824 00:32:46,921 --> 00:32:47,878 Where are you from? 825 00:32:47,922 --> 00:32:49,054 - Seattle. 826 00:32:49,097 --> 00:32:51,882 - Do you like long walks on the beach? 827 00:32:55,190 --> 00:32:58,280 And that's my life, folks, in a nut sack, so to speak. 828 00:32:58,324 --> 00:33:00,891 Everyone give Robert a round of applause. 829 00:33:00,935 --> 00:33:02,719 He did a great job. 830 00:33:07,855 --> 00:33:09,248 - She might not be on Facebook but 831 00:33:09,291 --> 00:33:11,902 she's gonna be doing comedy somewhere and 832 00:33:11,946 --> 00:33:13,774 that's gotta be advertised on Facebook so I just need to 833 00:33:13,817 --> 00:33:15,384 friend a bunch of comedians, I think. 834 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:16,646 - Actually, I think maybe you should 835 00:33:16,690 --> 00:33:18,083 just give up and move on. 836 00:33:18,126 --> 00:33:19,345 - What, seriously? 837 00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:20,911 - You know, it's been a while. 838 00:33:20,955 --> 00:33:23,218 And she's gone, I'm sorry if you can't accept it. 839 00:33:23,262 --> 00:33:25,307 - Ed, I can accept it, I just want an explanation. 840 00:33:25,351 --> 00:33:27,744 - The explanation is inherent, I think. 841 00:33:27,788 --> 00:33:28,615 - Why are you being an asshole? 842 00:33:28,658 --> 00:33:30,051 - I'm not being an asshole. 843 00:33:30,095 --> 00:33:31,835 I'm just saying, you've never done this to girls? 844 00:33:31,879 --> 00:33:33,359 - Just disappear? 845 00:33:33,402 --> 00:33:34,795 - Yeah, just kind of fade away, 846 00:33:34,838 --> 00:33:37,058 not have the balls to actually break up with them? 847 00:33:37,102 --> 00:33:38,886 - I mean, maybe- 848 00:33:38,929 --> 00:33:40,931 - Look, it's like a boomerang. 849 00:33:40,975 --> 00:33:43,760 Or it's like that movie, "Boomerang." 850 00:33:43,804 --> 00:33:45,762 - It is like the movie "Boomerang," thank you. 851 00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:48,591 Everything is happening exactly like in "Boomerang." 852 00:33:48,635 --> 00:33:51,768 - The scars of Brian McGehee do not heal quickly. 853 00:33:51,812 --> 00:33:53,379 You can trust me on this 'cause I'm friends 854 00:33:53,422 --> 00:33:54,641 with some of those girls. 855 00:33:54,684 --> 00:33:56,164 - Where's all this coming from? 856 00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:58,384 - There's a certain level of reality you need to face. 857 00:33:58,427 --> 00:34:00,299 You're not in college anymore, it's not a game. 858 00:34:00,342 --> 00:34:02,388 - Yeah, I know it's not a game, that's my whole point. 859 00:34:02,431 --> 00:34:03,737 - I think you just need to deal with it. 860 00:34:03,780 --> 00:34:05,826 - Like you're dealing with Laura leaving you? 861 00:34:05,869 --> 00:34:07,045 - I don't know. 862 00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:08,089 - Because you're not. 863 00:34:08,133 --> 00:34:09,569 - I am dealing with it. 864 00:34:09,612 --> 00:34:11,571 - You're not really letting it out though, are you? 865 00:34:12,789 --> 00:34:15,096 - Okay, I don't even know where you came from. 866 00:34:15,140 --> 00:34:16,837 - Few years ago, I was in a band. 867 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,882 First year all we did was make fun of all the other bands 868 00:34:18,926 --> 00:34:20,188 out there. 869 00:34:20,232 --> 00:34:22,756 "Oh look at them, they sound like Blink 182. 870 00:34:22,799 --> 00:34:24,801 "Oh, look at that guy with his little tassels 871 00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:25,933 "on his red leather pants. 872 00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:28,327 "What a bunch of dick suckers," right? 873 00:34:28,370 --> 00:34:29,893 - Yeah, sure. 874 00:34:29,937 --> 00:34:32,940 - Then after a year we stopped playing, we fizzled out. 875 00:34:32,983 --> 00:34:36,117 Turns out, guys, we were the dick suckers. 876 00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:39,599 Sometimes late at night I wake up in a cold sweat 877 00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:42,080 and I go and look in the bathroom mirror and I go, 878 00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:43,603 "What happened? 879 00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,170 "That was my moment, that was my shot. 880 00:34:45,213 --> 00:34:48,608 "We had the talent, we had a van." 881 00:34:50,871 --> 00:34:52,307 We were afraid to put ourself out there. 882 00:34:52,351 --> 00:34:56,355 We were afraid to make ourself vulnerable. 883 00:34:56,398 --> 00:34:59,836 We were scared that some group of judgmental dick suckers 884 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:04,058 was gonna see us one night and go, "Those guys suck dick." 885 00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,886 - True, true. 886 00:35:05,929 --> 00:35:07,453 - Yeah. 887 00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:10,630 - My point is, you gotta be willing to say how you feel. 888 00:35:10,673 --> 00:35:12,022 And make it stupid. 889 00:35:12,066 --> 00:35:15,983 Don't ever be afraid to be stupid. 890 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,858 - Okay, well I- 891 00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:24,296 - I got a customer. 892 00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:26,950 - Keep going, make it stupid. 893 00:35:26,994 --> 00:35:28,778 - Okay. 894 00:35:28,822 --> 00:35:33,827 Um, I have a bag of her stuff still. 895 00:35:36,395 --> 00:35:38,745 - Yeah, yeah, that's stupid. 896 00:35:40,312 --> 00:35:42,966 - It's just sitting there in my room. 897 00:35:43,010 --> 00:35:46,187 I don't know what to do with it. 898 00:35:46,231 --> 00:35:51,192 It's just like, you know, some shoes, her sweater, 899 00:35:52,062 --> 00:35:54,413 some papers. 900 00:35:54,456 --> 00:35:56,937 - Yeah. 901 00:35:57,851 --> 00:36:01,855 - You know and it, it like has her smell on it. 902 00:36:02,943 --> 00:36:05,380 I tried to, I tried to cover it up, 903 00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:07,208 I tried to get rid of it. 904 00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:11,212 I sprayed Axe Body Spray on it. 905 00:36:11,256 --> 00:36:12,866 - That means you went to the store and 906 00:36:12,909 --> 00:36:14,868 bought Axe Body Spray. 907 00:36:14,911 --> 00:36:16,043 Keep going. 908 00:36:16,086 --> 00:36:17,914 - Yeah, pretty stupid. 909 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:19,829 - Yeah, that's okay. 910 00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:23,181 - I do feel better. 911 00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:23,746 - Yeah? 912 00:36:23,790 --> 00:36:24,965 - Yeah, that's- 913 00:36:25,008 --> 00:36:25,922 - You feel better? 914 00:36:25,966 --> 00:36:28,273 - Yeah, wow, okay. 915 00:36:28,316 --> 00:36:29,883 - All right, let's get outta here. 916 00:36:29,926 --> 00:36:34,844 - Okay. 917 00:36:55,343 --> 00:36:57,302 ♪ Stolen all my energy 918 00:36:57,345 --> 00:36:59,695 ♪ A hive without a honeybee 919 00:37:01,915 --> 00:37:05,397 ♪ Now I'll never find a way 920 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,921 ♪ Yellow fever burns my face 921 00:37:07,964 --> 00:37:11,838 ♪ Maybe it will never break 922 00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:15,885 ♪ This could be my final day 923 00:37:15,929 --> 00:37:21,935 ♪ These blue tears run down my cheek 924 00:37:25,895 --> 00:37:30,900 ♪ Fill my mouth, I cannot speak 925 00:37:33,773 --> 00:37:38,778 ♪ Run, run, run down my cheek 926 00:37:40,127 --> 00:37:42,347 - If it's any consolation, I always thought she was uptight. 927 00:37:42,390 --> 00:37:43,696 - You thought Laura was uptight? 928 00:37:43,739 --> 00:37:44,740 - Oh I see, because I'm a Christian 929 00:37:44,784 --> 00:37:45,959 I can't think anyone's uptight. 930 00:37:46,002 --> 00:37:47,917 - No, no, no but it's 931 00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:49,832 great to hear something bad about her. 932 00:37:49,876 --> 00:37:51,051 - I'll mail the stuff. 933 00:37:51,094 --> 00:37:52,879 So you don't have to look at it anymore. 934 00:37:52,922 --> 00:37:53,706 - Thanks. 935 00:37:53,749 --> 00:37:54,881 - Her bed is still here, 936 00:37:54,924 --> 00:37:56,056 the new roommate's gonna take it. 937 00:37:56,099 --> 00:37:57,579 - Oh yeah. 938 00:37:57,623 --> 00:38:00,626 - Yeah, if you wanna have one last look at it. 939 00:38:01,801 --> 00:38:04,760 - Kinda weird but okay. 940 00:38:08,677 --> 00:38:09,765 - You're in love with her. 941 00:38:09,809 --> 00:38:11,680 - Oh, that might be a strong word. 942 00:38:11,724 --> 00:38:13,421 I think you're being a little dramatic. 943 00:38:13,465 --> 00:38:14,901 - Yeah, you're right I'm sorry. 944 00:38:14,944 --> 00:38:18,687 I would hate to interrupt your perfectly normal evening 945 00:38:18,731 --> 00:38:19,819 jibber-jabbering about love. 946 00:38:19,862 --> 00:38:21,342 But you know what we can do? 947 00:38:21,386 --> 00:38:22,604 Why don't we just sit down and continue to enjoy 948 00:38:22,648 --> 00:38:24,345 that movie that you keep watching over and over 949 00:38:24,389 --> 00:38:26,347 and over again, which is the only film you've made in what, 950 00:38:26,391 --> 00:38:27,348 two years? 951 00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:28,915 I can't wait to see how it ends. 952 00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:31,265 - You are like the meanest imaginary friend I could ever- 953 00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:33,093 - I'm a straight shooter. 954 00:38:33,136 --> 00:38:35,487 - Straight shoot you in the face. 955 00:38:37,097 --> 00:38:44,974 - Shoot you in the face. 956 00:38:48,761 --> 00:38:50,850 - I don't know, maybe you have some good memories on it. 957 00:38:50,893 --> 00:38:52,417 - Yeah, maybe. 958 00:38:53,896 --> 00:38:55,898 - I live on the other side of this wall, remember? 959 00:38:55,942 --> 00:38:57,378 - Oh right, sorry. 960 00:38:57,422 --> 00:38:58,205 - Don't be embarrassed. 961 00:38:58,248 --> 00:38:59,598 I should be embarrassed. 962 00:38:59,641 --> 00:39:00,860 - Why? 963 00:39:00,903 --> 00:39:01,687 - I used to wake up and play with myself 964 00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:03,819 while you were doing it. 965 00:39:03,863 --> 00:39:05,038 - Wow. 966 00:39:05,081 --> 00:39:07,257 - See? 967 00:39:07,301 --> 00:39:09,564 - Yeah no, that's fine, that's okay. 968 00:39:09,608 --> 00:39:14,221 - I imagined it was me instead. 969 00:39:17,833 --> 00:39:22,316 I want to kiss you right now but I'm really conflicted 970 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:26,407 because I'm dedicated to Jesus and everything. 971 00:39:26,451 --> 00:39:28,409 - I can't compete with Jesus. 972 00:39:29,715 --> 00:39:31,456 - Nobody can. 973 00:39:31,499 --> 00:39:33,240 - Why don't we forget about Jesus? 974 00:39:33,283 --> 00:39:35,285 - I could never forget about Jesus. 975 00:39:35,329 --> 00:39:36,765 - We're in a pickle. 976 00:39:36,809 --> 00:39:37,984 I think this is why the Protestants branched off 977 00:39:38,027 --> 00:39:41,161 in the first place. 978 00:39:41,204 --> 00:39:42,467 - Edward. 979 00:39:42,510 --> 00:39:43,946 - Yep. 980 00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:47,123 - You want to fuck me on your ex-girlfriend's bed? 981 00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:49,125 - Yep. 982 00:39:53,434 --> 00:39:55,001 - So you broke up with him? 983 00:39:55,044 --> 00:39:57,786 - I need a husband, okay, I'm not fucking around here. 984 00:40:17,327 --> 00:40:19,242 - Hi, have you been helped yet? 985 00:40:19,286 --> 00:40:20,200 - Nope. 986 00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:21,680 Just a coffee to go. 987 00:40:21,723 --> 00:40:24,160 - Sorry about that, I'll get that for you right now. 988 00:40:24,204 --> 00:40:26,162 - Fucking men. 989 00:41:18,780 --> 00:41:21,304 - He asks me if he can have a drum solo. 990 00:41:21,348 --> 00:41:23,742 I'm thinking to myself, this guy thinks he's John Bonham 991 00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:25,265 or something, I don't know. 992 00:41:25,308 --> 00:41:27,528 Nobody's had a successful drum solo in at least 30 years 993 00:41:27,572 --> 00:41:28,921 in my opinion. 994 00:41:28,964 --> 00:41:37,233 All I'm trying to do is make a good record. 995 00:41:41,803 --> 00:41:42,804 - Ashley. 996 00:41:42,848 --> 00:41:44,197 Hey, Ashley. 997 00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:45,415 - Hi, Brian. 998 00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:46,765 - Hi, yeah, I thought that was you. 999 00:41:46,808 --> 00:41:48,375 - Didn't even see you. 1000 00:41:48,418 --> 00:41:50,899 - Yeah I saw you walking and I was just in the neighborhood. 1001 00:41:50,943 --> 00:41:52,771 - Yeah, what are you doing in Brooklyn? 1002 00:41:52,814 --> 00:41:55,338 - Oh some friends of mine are having a really cool party. 1003 00:41:55,382 --> 00:41:56,601 - Cool party. 1004 00:41:56,644 --> 00:41:57,906 - Yeah, well, really cool. 1005 00:41:57,950 --> 00:41:59,908 - Really cool. 1006 00:41:59,952 --> 00:42:01,606 Oh, this is Eric. 1007 00:42:01,649 --> 00:42:02,520 - Hey. 1008 00:42:02,563 --> 00:42:03,782 - Sup bro. 1009 00:42:03,825 --> 00:42:07,002 - Right, um... 1010 00:42:08,308 --> 00:42:10,484 - Well, it was good to see you. 1011 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:11,703 - Really? 1012 00:42:11,746 --> 00:42:13,574 - What? 1013 00:42:13,618 --> 00:42:15,010 - I mean that's it? 1014 00:42:15,054 --> 00:42:16,795 It was good to see you? 1015 00:42:16,838 --> 00:42:19,711 - Well, it's kind of awkward. 1016 00:42:19,754 --> 00:42:20,799 - Am I making this awkward? 1017 00:42:20,842 --> 00:42:21,930 - Oh god, no, no. 1018 00:42:21,974 --> 00:42:22,888 - I feel like I am. 1019 00:42:22,931 --> 00:42:24,193 - No. 1020 00:42:24,237 --> 00:42:25,368 - Hey dude, my bust if I'm making this awkward. 1021 00:42:25,412 --> 00:42:26,935 - No, no, it's fine, I was just, 1022 00:42:26,979 --> 00:42:29,024 I was walking, I saw you... 1023 00:42:33,028 --> 00:42:35,291 - Awkward, okay, listen we gotta bounce, 1024 00:42:35,335 --> 00:42:38,904 we got dinner reso's so it was really nice to meet you. 1025 00:42:38,947 --> 00:42:41,210 Guess we'll see you around the hood. 1026 00:42:41,254 --> 00:42:43,473 Sorry if I'm like, argh! 1027 00:42:43,517 --> 00:42:45,301 You know what I'm saying, man? 1028 00:42:46,128 --> 00:42:47,521 Oh hey. 1029 00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:48,696 Uh-huh, hell yeah, order up the apps. 1030 00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:51,612 - I'll call you, okay? 1031 00:42:51,656 --> 00:42:53,309 - I don't care. 1032 00:42:53,353 --> 00:43:03,363 - Well there you go. 1033 00:43:03,406 --> 00:43:15,854 - Well there you go. 1034 00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:22,991 - If you need parking, it's right on over there, okay? 1035 00:43:23,035 --> 00:43:23,731 - Okay. 1036 00:43:23,775 --> 00:43:25,907 - So just come with me. 1037 00:43:27,692 --> 00:43:29,650 Great example you're setting, Brian. 1038 00:43:29,694 --> 00:43:32,261 - I think I need a prescription for marijuana. 1039 00:43:32,305 --> 00:43:33,915 I have really bad hangovers. 1040 00:43:35,743 --> 00:43:37,179 - This is Stephanie. 1041 00:43:37,223 --> 00:43:39,007 You're going to be training her today. 1042 00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:41,270 - Sorry for my appearance, I turned on my shower 1043 00:43:41,314 --> 00:43:43,098 and Maker's Mark came out. 1044 00:43:44,273 --> 00:43:48,016 - Oh, it's okay, I'm in college so I'm used to it. 1045 00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:50,671 - Okay, so, he'll give you the tour 1046 00:43:50,715 --> 00:43:52,194 and then we'll talk about coffee? 1047 00:43:52,238 --> 00:43:55,807 - Oh yeah, I just gotta put my hair up real quick. 1048 00:43:58,026 --> 00:43:59,767 - And no flirting, okay? 1049 00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:00,942 This is a professional environment. 1050 00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:03,162 - Oh come on, you flirt with me every day. 1051 00:44:03,205 --> 00:44:05,817 - Yeah right, no I don't. 1052 00:44:06,774 --> 00:44:09,559 - Okay, so I'm ready for the tour. 1053 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:10,778 - Okay. 1054 00:44:10,822 --> 00:44:12,127 Wait, I just need to put my hair up too. 1055 00:44:12,171 --> 00:44:16,131 Um, so, tables, chairs, windows, 1056 00:44:16,175 --> 00:44:17,872 and there's a coffee shop inside. 1057 00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:19,352 You good? 1058 00:44:19,395 --> 00:44:21,354 - You're very funny. 1059 00:44:21,397 --> 00:44:26,315 - I actually might throw up but maybe not. 1060 00:44:28,491 --> 00:44:30,232 I'll be right back. 1061 00:44:46,292 --> 00:44:48,033 - You know, you're gonna regret it. 1062 00:44:48,076 --> 00:44:50,383 - Oh good, I was hoping the character from the movie 1063 00:44:50,426 --> 00:44:52,907 had a place to brush his teeth. 1064 00:44:52,951 --> 00:44:54,126 - You're in love with Ashley. 1065 00:44:54,169 --> 00:44:55,301 Taking advantage of the new girl at work 1066 00:44:55,344 --> 00:44:56,737 is not gonna make you feel any better. 1067 00:44:56,781 --> 00:44:58,652 - Oh no, see, that's what happens in your world. 1068 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:01,307 I realize I'm only in love with Ashley. 1069 00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:04,179 In my world, I get really drunk and I go down on that girl 1070 00:45:04,223 --> 00:45:06,834 out there and I love every minute of it. 1071 00:45:06,878 --> 00:45:08,749 - Whatever you say, dude. 1072 00:45:08,793 --> 00:45:10,185 - Ashley left me. 1073 00:45:10,229 --> 00:45:12,797 She left the entire state of New Jersey. 1074 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,233 What does it matter what I want? 1075 00:45:14,276 --> 00:45:15,538 - Well, if you're not gonna do anything about it, 1076 00:45:15,582 --> 00:45:16,583 then it doesn't matter. 1077 00:45:16,626 --> 00:45:17,802 - Yeah, exactly. 1078 00:45:17,845 --> 00:45:19,804 'Cause in real life you don't convince girls 1079 00:45:19,847 --> 00:45:23,416 to love you back so you deal with it. 1080 00:45:23,459 --> 00:45:24,591 Suck it up. 1081 00:45:26,071 --> 00:45:27,812 - Wow. 1082 00:45:27,855 --> 00:45:30,075 I'm glad I don't actually exist, it sounds like a real drag. 1083 00:45:30,118 --> 00:45:32,773 - It is. 1084 00:45:32,817 --> 00:45:34,079 - How do I look? 1085 00:45:34,122 --> 00:45:35,558 - Fine. 1086 00:45:35,602 --> 00:45:37,604 - You gonna throw up? 1087 00:45:37,647 --> 00:45:39,084 'Cause if you are, I'm gonna leave. 1088 00:45:39,127 --> 00:45:41,913 - Yeah, I am. 1089 00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:49,442 - So, tomorrow there's a farmers' market in the park 1090 00:45:49,485 --> 00:45:51,270 and then my friends are having a house warming party 1091 00:45:51,313 --> 00:45:52,575 so I thought we could go to that. 1092 00:45:52,619 --> 00:45:54,752 Or maybe we could go see a movie or something, 1093 00:45:54,795 --> 00:45:56,666 or we could just hang out here. 1094 00:45:56,710 --> 00:45:59,800 Are we gonna smoke any pot or are we just gonna go to sleep? 1095 00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:02,585 Whatever you want to do, I am super easy going, 1096 00:46:02,629 --> 00:46:03,848 you're gonna find out. 1097 00:46:03,891 --> 00:46:06,111 I'm from a small town in upstate New York. 1098 00:46:06,154 --> 00:46:08,766 What kind of food do you like? 1099 00:46:08,809 --> 00:46:10,376 I love hot dogs, 1100 00:46:10,419 --> 00:46:14,815 especially when they're super loaded, fully loaded! 1101 00:46:27,523 --> 00:46:29,134 - Turns out she's a total freak. 1102 00:46:29,177 --> 00:46:30,744 - That's great, congratulations. 1103 00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:31,832 - I feel so dirty. 1104 00:46:31,876 --> 00:46:33,138 - Oh come on, you love it. 1105 00:46:33,181 --> 00:46:34,313 - Yeah, I do love it, that's what I'm saying. 1106 00:46:34,356 --> 00:46:35,923 It's just been a rough couple weeks. 1107 00:46:35,967 --> 00:46:37,403 Laura moving out of state, 1108 00:46:37,446 --> 00:46:39,840 I sleep with her crazy Christian roommate. 1109 00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:41,276 You know, besides clearly going to hell, 1110 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,191 I have the ideal break up situation. 1111 00:46:43,235 --> 00:46:45,715 - That's true, you are going to hell. 1112 00:46:45,759 --> 00:46:46,978 I should probably get to work. 1113 00:46:47,021 --> 00:46:48,806 - You all right? 1114 00:46:48,849 --> 00:46:51,199 - Um, not really. 1115 00:46:51,243 --> 00:46:52,722 - You wanna grab a beer later? 1116 00:46:52,766 --> 00:46:55,595 - Actually, I should probably be alone right now. 1117 00:46:55,638 --> 00:46:56,857 You were right. 1118 00:46:56,901 --> 00:46:59,904 It is like that movie, "Boomerang." 1119 00:46:59,947 --> 00:47:00,643 Good morning. 1120 00:47:00,687 --> 00:47:02,732 - Asshole. 1121 00:47:02,776 --> 00:47:03,821 - Is that the new girl? 1122 00:47:03,864 --> 00:47:05,039 - Yep. 1123 00:47:05,083 --> 00:47:06,301 - You guys used to date or something? 1124 00:47:06,345 --> 00:47:08,695 - Uh, yeah, I dated her last Thursday night. 1125 00:47:08,738 --> 00:47:10,871 - So she's single? 1126 00:47:10,915 --> 00:47:11,829 - I'll see you later, man. 1127 00:47:11,872 --> 00:47:21,882 - All right. 1128 00:47:21,926 --> 00:47:27,148 - All right. 1129 00:47:31,152 --> 00:47:33,111 - Brian, can you come here for a sec. 1130 00:47:33,154 --> 00:47:34,895 - She said she was 21. 1131 00:47:34,939 --> 00:47:35,896 - What? 1132 00:47:35,940 --> 00:47:36,854 - I'm just kidding. 1133 00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:38,203 What's up, playa? 1134 00:47:38,246 --> 00:47:39,682 - Sit down. 1135 00:47:39,726 --> 00:47:42,294 - Okay. 1136 00:47:46,211 --> 00:47:48,430 - You've been working here a long time. 1137 00:47:48,474 --> 00:47:52,782 And the customers like you and I like you and 1138 00:47:52,826 --> 00:47:53,914 you're a good guy. 1139 00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,351 - Great intro to... 1140 00:47:56,395 --> 00:48:01,443 - And it's very hard but I'm going to have to let you go. 1141 00:48:03,141 --> 00:48:06,361 - You're gonna have to let me go from working here? 1142 00:48:06,405 --> 00:48:09,190 - I'm very sorry to have to do this, Brian. 1143 00:48:09,234 --> 00:48:10,844 - Because of the new girl? 1144 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:13,891 - What does she have to do with anything? 1145 00:48:13,934 --> 00:48:15,066 - Nothing, that's what I'm asking. 1146 00:48:15,109 --> 00:48:17,285 - Look, Brian, 1147 00:48:17,329 --> 00:48:18,808 you've worked here a long time, 1148 00:48:20,201 --> 00:48:22,769 you spend most of your time on the phone, 1149 00:48:22,812 --> 00:48:25,815 you drink on the job, you seem bored. 1150 00:48:25,859 --> 00:48:27,339 - Yeah, of course I'm bored. 1151 00:48:27,382 --> 00:48:31,778 - Your attitude is just not up to par. 1152 00:48:31,821 --> 00:48:33,519 - It's a coffee shop, Jason. 1153 00:48:33,562 --> 00:48:35,434 I have a coffee shop attitude. 1154 00:48:35,477 --> 00:48:38,872 - Maybe and I'm taking things to another level 1155 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:42,876 and I don't think you fit with what I have planned. 1156 00:48:44,704 --> 00:48:45,879 - Okay. 1157 00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:47,750 I'll stop being on my phone. 1158 00:48:47,794 --> 00:48:50,928 - It's not just about the phone. 1159 00:48:52,625 --> 00:48:54,757 - Oh my god, I am being fired from a job 1160 00:48:54,801 --> 00:48:56,368 I'm way too good for. 1161 00:48:56,411 --> 00:48:57,760 - You're ridiculous, Brian. 1162 00:48:57,804 --> 00:48:59,458 - I'm not the ridiculous one. 1163 00:48:59,501 --> 00:49:01,982 - See, this is what I was hoping to avoid. 1164 00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:03,897 - What, you think I'm gonna get all mad and crazy 1165 00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:07,814 because you're firing me from this stupid bullshit job? 1166 00:49:07,857 --> 00:49:11,687 This is a paycheck to me, Jason, I don't care about it. 1167 00:49:11,731 --> 00:49:13,515 - Then why would I not fire you? 1168 00:49:13,559 --> 00:49:14,952 - Because you're a tool. 1169 00:49:14,995 --> 00:49:16,127 Because you should be somewhere in Ohio 1170 00:49:16,170 --> 00:49:17,911 managing a fucking Applebee's. 1171 00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:21,219 Because this is your life, here, making lattes 1172 00:49:21,262 --> 00:49:23,961 for rich assholes and one day I'm gonna laugh 1173 00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:26,180 at this stupid little job I had. 1174 00:49:26,224 --> 00:49:27,703 - Okay, man, whatever you say. 1175 00:49:27,747 --> 00:49:30,880 - Yeah, it is whatever I say. 1176 00:49:30,924 --> 00:49:33,057 Because it's my life and this was just a stepping stone. 1177 00:49:33,100 --> 00:49:35,929 - Well I'm glad we were lucky enough to fit into the story 1178 00:49:35,973 --> 00:49:37,887 of your life, we're so honored. 1179 00:49:37,931 --> 00:49:40,325 - Yeah, you should be honored. 1180 00:49:40,368 --> 00:49:41,935 - We are, thank you. 1181 00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,503 - You're fucking welcome. 1182 00:49:44,546 --> 00:49:49,987 Stupid, fire me, what a stupid thing to do. 1183 00:50:00,823 --> 00:50:03,565 - You're not even giving me a chance to explain myself. 1184 00:50:03,609 --> 00:50:05,045 - It doesn't matter, Eric. 1185 00:50:05,089 --> 00:50:07,439 You want to be with a bunch of people, that's fine. 1186 00:50:07,482 --> 00:50:08,527 - Well, what do you want? 1187 00:50:08,570 --> 00:50:11,530 - I'm not 22 anymore. 1188 00:50:11,573 --> 00:50:13,793 - We can try not to see other people 1189 00:50:13,836 --> 00:50:17,927 - If we have to try, doesn't that seem doomed for failure? 1190 00:50:17,971 --> 00:50:19,668 - So you don't want to see me at all anymore 1191 00:50:19,712 --> 00:50:21,148 just because we're not exclusive? 1192 00:50:21,192 --> 00:50:23,063 - I gave up a lot just to come out here 1193 00:50:23,107 --> 00:50:24,978 and I don't even know where this is going. 1194 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:27,459 - Yeah, but we've been together for like two years. 1195 00:50:27,502 --> 00:50:28,851 I know you better than anybody. 1196 00:50:28,895 --> 00:50:30,897 - No, we've been together a year and a half 1197 00:50:30,940 --> 00:50:33,900 and everything else has been shitty. 1198 00:50:36,990 --> 00:50:39,514 - Yeah but we have to let it evolve. 1199 00:50:39,558 --> 00:50:42,213 Maybe we can get back to where we used to be. 1200 00:50:42,256 --> 00:50:44,389 It's not easy for us, we're artists. 1201 00:50:44,432 --> 00:50:46,043 I'm trying to be a rock star, Ash, 1202 00:50:46,086 --> 00:50:47,914 what do you want me to do? 1203 00:50:47,957 --> 00:50:51,309 - I can't hang on anymore. 1204 00:50:51,352 --> 00:50:54,355 - But you know we can't stay away from each other. 1205 00:50:54,399 --> 00:50:56,096 - We haven't really tried, you know? 1206 00:50:56,140 --> 00:50:59,752 - You went all the way to fucking New Jersey. 1207 00:50:59,795 --> 00:51:02,015 - You know, I just think we need to separate. 1208 00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:03,364 - Yeah, but we won't. 1209 00:51:03,408 --> 00:51:04,626 - We need to try. 1210 00:51:04,670 --> 00:51:06,585 - You know that's not gonna happen. 1211 00:51:06,628 --> 00:51:08,369 - We need to. 1212 00:51:08,413 --> 00:51:12,025 I just, I just want to be alone. 1213 00:51:16,769 --> 00:51:17,987 - Fine. 1214 00:51:19,859 --> 00:51:22,122 I gotta go to work anyway. 1215 00:51:25,691 --> 00:51:27,214 - Okay. 1216 00:51:27,258 --> 00:51:29,347 I don't know, I guess I'll see you sometime in the future 1217 00:51:29,390 --> 00:51:31,349 or something.. 1218 00:51:32,437 --> 00:51:33,873 - So does this mean you're not gonna answer my texts 1219 00:51:33,916 --> 00:51:36,093 if I get bored at the bar tonight? 1220 00:51:36,136 --> 00:51:40,401 - No, Eric, I'm not gonna answer your texts. 1221 00:51:41,750 --> 00:51:43,143 - Okay. 1222 00:51:43,187 --> 00:51:44,840 Cool. 1223 00:51:44,884 --> 00:51:52,109 Till next time then. 1224 00:52:01,466 --> 00:52:02,728 - That took a lot of balls. 1225 00:52:02,771 --> 00:52:03,468 - I need a drink. 1226 00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:04,730 - Way ahead of you. 1227 00:52:04,773 --> 00:52:06,297 - Why did I think this time would be different? 1228 00:52:06,340 --> 00:52:08,299 - I told you, he's not the one you're supposed to be with. 1229 00:52:08,342 --> 00:52:10,257 - But I have a real love for him. 1230 00:52:10,301 --> 00:52:12,738 - No one says, "I have a love for you." 1231 00:52:12,781 --> 00:52:15,088 Those aren't the words people say to each other. 1232 00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:16,829 I have a love for a lot of dudes. 1233 00:52:16,872 --> 00:52:19,440 That's doesn't mean I'm gonna put up with their bullshit. 1234 00:52:19,484 --> 00:52:20,963 - Well here's to being alone again. 1235 00:52:21,007 --> 00:52:24,706 Except for imaginary friends from mediocre movies. 1236 00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:26,491 - Cheers, bitch. 1237 00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:30,843 So, million dollar question. 1238 00:52:30,886 --> 00:52:32,845 What about Jersey City? 1239 00:52:32,888 --> 00:52:34,847 - I left Jersey City. 1240 00:52:36,327 --> 00:52:38,851 - And Brian? 1241 00:52:38,894 --> 00:52:42,246 - Just another boy who doesn't want to be in a relationship. 1242 00:52:42,289 --> 00:52:44,378 - You never really talked about it though. 1243 00:52:44,422 --> 00:52:45,901 - That's all we ever talked about, 1244 00:52:45,945 --> 00:52:49,818 how no relationship can last more than two years. 1245 00:52:49,862 --> 00:52:51,820 - You were only together two weeks. 1246 00:52:51,864 --> 00:52:53,953 - Well, what's the difference? 1247 00:52:53,996 --> 00:52:56,173 He's not serious about anything. 1248 00:52:56,216 --> 00:52:58,697 - Maybe he's ready for something more. 1249 00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:02,744 - Yeah right, not everybody is like Mr. Perfect over here. 1250 00:53:02,788 --> 00:53:05,007 - That's true. 1251 00:53:05,051 --> 00:53:06,487 - He said he didn't care on the street. 1252 00:53:06,531 --> 00:53:08,315 I'm not gonna go chasing after him. 1253 00:53:08,359 --> 00:53:11,362 He should be chasing after me. 1254 00:53:11,405 --> 00:53:13,581 - Maybe he was. 1255 00:53:27,073 --> 00:53:28,727 ♪ Late at night 1256 00:53:28,770 --> 00:53:31,686 ♪ When I'm awake 1257 00:53:31,730 --> 00:53:36,735 ♪ And everyone has gone asleep 1258 00:53:37,344 --> 00:53:39,564 ♪ I hear a noise 1259 00:53:39,607 --> 00:53:42,567 ♪ From far away 1260 00:53:43,785 --> 00:53:45,352 - When I woke up the next morning, 1261 00:53:45,396 --> 00:53:48,921 there was no one to give that congratulatory high-five to, 1262 00:53:48,964 --> 00:53:51,140 so I gave it to myself. 1263 00:53:51,184 --> 00:53:53,273 Which I regretted immediately afterward 1264 00:53:53,317 --> 00:53:55,797 because then I had to explain why I was clapping. 1265 00:53:55,841 --> 00:53:59,540 I was like, uh, 1266 00:53:59,584 --> 00:54:01,542 "You remember that scene from 'Independence Day' 1267 00:54:01,586 --> 00:54:04,763 "where Bill Pullman gives that speech? 1268 00:54:04,806 --> 00:54:06,591 It just snuck up on me I just 1269 00:54:06,634 --> 00:54:07,940 had to clap it out." 1270 00:54:09,507 --> 00:54:11,987 You guys are doing great so far, we got a couple more. 1271 00:54:12,031 --> 00:54:14,816 Our next one up, oh, he's a first timer. 1272 00:54:14,860 --> 00:54:19,865 This is Brian, Mc, Kee Hee, Brian Mc-kee-hee. 1273 00:54:22,433 --> 00:54:25,305 - McGehee, it's a tough one. 1274 00:54:26,741 --> 00:54:28,482 Hi. 1275 00:54:28,526 --> 00:54:33,313 I have decided recently that I don't believe in soulmates. 1276 00:54:33,357 --> 00:54:37,839 I am a soulmatheist, I believe in watching, 1277 00:54:37,883 --> 00:54:40,581 I believe in people who like the same movies as you, 1278 00:54:40,625 --> 00:54:42,409 but not a soulmate. 1279 00:54:42,453 --> 00:54:45,586 My friends say that I'm too pessimistic and selfish 1280 00:54:45,630 --> 00:54:47,762 to get married and have kids. 1281 00:54:47,806 --> 00:54:50,069 Well, maybe they're right, but I 1282 00:54:50,112 --> 00:54:51,418 just don't want to be in my 40's 1283 00:54:51,462 --> 00:54:55,857 and have every other weekend taken up. 1284 00:54:55,901 --> 00:54:59,121 People with divorced parents get that joke faster I think. 1285 00:54:59,165 --> 00:55:03,169 But the joke's on them, 'cause their parents are divorced. 1286 00:55:07,608 --> 00:55:12,265 Just a couple more. 1287 00:55:16,487 --> 00:55:18,880 - Last call, Brian. 1288 00:55:18,924 --> 00:55:22,362 - It's 1:30, last call's not till 1:45. 1289 00:55:22,406 --> 00:55:24,843 - Yeah, there's no one else here, man, last call. 1290 00:55:24,886 --> 00:55:26,453 - That's bullshit. 1291 00:55:26,497 --> 00:55:28,325 Stupid fucking Jersey bar. 1292 00:55:28,368 --> 00:55:29,935 - All right man, you know what, we're closed. 1293 00:55:29,978 --> 00:55:30,849 This one's on me. 1294 00:55:30,892 --> 00:55:31,719 - Woah, woah. 1295 00:55:31,763 --> 00:55:32,590 - Get out of here, Brian. 1296 00:55:32,633 --> 00:55:33,460 - Chill out, man, chill out. 1297 00:55:33,504 --> 00:55:34,635 It's a bar, I need to drink. 1298 00:55:34,679 --> 00:55:36,158 - Yeah, time's up, man, go home. 1299 00:55:36,202 --> 00:55:39,292 - Yeah, normally bars stay open till two, man. 1300 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,555 I don't know if you know that or not but, 1301 00:55:42,774 --> 00:55:44,253 you're kind of weak. 1302 00:55:44,297 --> 00:55:46,647 This is kind of a weak bar and you're a weak bartender, 1303 00:55:46,691 --> 00:55:47,822 I've always thought that. 1304 00:55:47,866 --> 00:55:49,955 - Get home safe, Brian. 1305 00:55:49,998 --> 00:55:55,439 You big ol' dick sucker. 1306 00:56:24,032 --> 00:56:26,731 - Where's Cindy? 1307 00:56:26,774 --> 00:56:27,906 - We broke up. 1308 00:56:28,907 --> 00:56:30,038 - I knew it. 1309 00:56:30,082 --> 00:56:31,344 - No, I'm just kidding. 1310 00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:33,564 We're not real people so you're an idiot. 1311 00:56:35,566 --> 00:56:39,918 - I'm not okay, man, I'm fucking hungover and miserable and 1312 00:56:41,702 --> 00:56:43,748 I don't know, it's not just Ashley, I mean, 1313 00:56:43,791 --> 00:56:46,446 we weren't even really together, you know? 1314 00:56:46,490 --> 00:56:47,665 - You've seen too much of the other side, 1315 00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:48,796 now you can't go back. 1316 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:52,147 - I was happy with my life before. 1317 00:56:52,191 --> 00:56:54,759 - Look at this playground. 1318 00:56:54,802 --> 00:56:58,153 All these families and kids, everything's terrific. 1319 00:56:58,197 --> 00:56:59,633 - Yeah. 1320 00:56:59,677 --> 00:57:00,895 - It's beautiful. 1321 00:57:00,939 --> 00:57:03,158 - It's true. 1322 00:57:03,202 --> 00:57:04,682 I mean, look at them, the kids are in heaven, 1323 00:57:04,725 --> 00:57:08,425 the parents are totally alive and happy. 1324 00:57:08,468 --> 00:57:11,558 They have it right, man, not me. 1325 00:57:12,820 --> 00:57:14,561 - You're welcome for making you realize that. 1326 00:57:14,605 --> 00:57:15,997 I'm feeling a little underappreciated here. 1327 00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:17,912 - Okay, but so what? 1328 00:57:17,956 --> 00:57:19,566 Ashley's more cynical than I am. 1329 00:57:19,610 --> 00:57:21,394 Not to mention the fact that she moved to Brooklyn 1330 00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:23,701 and is with some guy and she unfriended me 1331 00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:24,832 on fucking Facebook. 1332 00:57:24,876 --> 00:57:26,051 - You haven't really tried, have you? 1333 00:57:26,094 --> 00:57:27,356 - To what, win her back? 1334 00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:28,532 - No, that's so cliche. 1335 00:57:28,575 --> 00:57:29,489 - Then what? 1336 00:57:29,533 --> 00:57:31,883 - To tell her how you feel. 1337 00:57:31,926 --> 00:57:34,842 You finally believe in something enough to chase it down. 1338 00:57:34,886 --> 00:57:36,104 To put yourself out there. 1339 00:57:36,148 --> 00:57:37,105 - Yeah, that's easy for you to say, 1340 00:57:37,149 --> 00:57:38,672 you live in a romantic comedy. 1341 00:57:38,716 --> 00:57:40,195 - Yeah, and I get the girl at the end 1342 00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:41,719 and everybody watches it anyway because, you know what, 1343 00:57:41,762 --> 00:57:43,677 in real life most of the time it doesn't work out 1344 00:57:43,721 --> 00:57:46,637 so it's fun to see when it does. 1345 00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:51,511 But this, this is real. 1346 00:57:51,555 --> 00:57:53,818 You feel that burning emotion, that fear, 1347 00:57:53,861 --> 00:57:55,776 your heart's beating fast, your hands are shaking. 1348 00:57:55,820 --> 00:57:57,865 You don't say anything clever, 1349 00:57:57,909 --> 00:58:01,695 you just say, "I like you, a lot." 1350 00:58:03,392 --> 00:58:04,568 And no matter what happens at least you know 1351 00:58:04,611 --> 00:58:07,919 you lived your life in that moment. 1352 00:58:10,574 --> 00:58:12,750 - Yeah, you might be right. 1353 00:58:14,491 --> 00:58:17,798 - Why would I be here if I wasn't right? 1354 00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:22,368 - I should probably stop watching 1355 00:58:22,411 --> 00:58:25,327 children in the playground. 1356 00:58:25,371 --> 00:58:29,636 - Yeah, you're looking a little creepy right now. 1357 00:58:55,096 --> 00:58:55,923 - Hey Brian. 1358 00:58:55,967 --> 00:58:57,534 - Hey man. 1359 00:58:57,577 --> 00:58:58,709 - I don't have your paycheck yet. 1360 00:58:58,752 --> 00:59:01,363 - I'm not here for a paycheck. 1361 00:59:02,451 --> 00:59:04,584 - What can I do for you? 1362 00:59:04,628 --> 00:59:08,849 - I just want to say that I'm sorry. 1363 00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:13,071 And you were right. 1364 00:59:13,114 --> 00:59:17,379 My attitude was shitty and I think I just, 1365 00:59:17,423 --> 00:59:22,559 I worked here a long time and I was bitter and jaded 1366 00:59:22,602 --> 00:59:24,735 'cause, you know, I'm not really doing 1367 00:59:24,778 --> 00:59:27,955 what I wanna do in life. 1368 00:59:27,999 --> 00:59:30,523 I took it out on you and 1369 00:59:32,394 --> 00:59:35,572 I was a dick. 1370 00:59:35,615 --> 00:59:36,834 - You weren't a dick, Brian. 1371 00:59:36,877 --> 00:59:38,879 - I was acting like one. 1372 00:59:40,141 --> 00:59:42,622 You know, maybe my time here was up and, 1373 00:59:42,666 --> 00:59:45,016 you know, I get that. 1374 00:59:45,059 --> 00:59:48,367 - Thanks, man, that's cool of you to say. 1375 00:59:49,890 --> 00:59:51,762 - I'm better than that. 1376 00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:52,719 - I know you are. 1377 00:59:52,763 --> 00:59:53,633 - I just want you to know that. 1378 00:59:53,677 --> 00:59:54,895 - Of course. 1379 00:59:54,939 --> 00:59:56,941 I wouldn't be friends with you if you weren't. 1380 00:59:58,203 --> 00:59:59,944 - Cool. 1381 01:00:00,858 --> 01:00:02,990 So if I need to put you down as a reference, I can- 1382 01:00:03,034 --> 01:00:04,165 - Yeah, of course. 1383 01:00:04,209 --> 01:00:05,863 - Okay. 1384 01:00:06,820 --> 01:00:08,169 Can I grab an espresso? 1385 01:00:08,213 --> 01:00:10,476 - Don't push it, asshole. 1386 01:00:10,519 --> 01:00:12,434 Come on inside. 1387 01:00:12,478 --> 01:00:14,741 - Jason, some girl left her phone here last night? 1388 01:00:14,785 --> 01:00:16,177 - She leaves her phone here twice a week, 1389 01:00:16,221 --> 01:00:17,918 that forgetful scamp. 1390 01:00:17,962 --> 01:00:20,051 - I got it, thanks Stephanie. 1391 01:00:20,094 --> 01:00:22,575 - Stephanie, hey, wait, um. 1392 01:00:23,707 --> 01:00:25,796 Listen, I'm sorry if what happened between us 1393 01:00:25,839 --> 01:00:27,624 caused you any- 1394 01:00:27,667 --> 01:00:29,103 - It's fine, Brian. 1395 01:00:29,147 --> 01:00:30,235 - Good. 1396 01:00:30,278 --> 01:00:32,454 I am sorry though. 1397 01:00:32,498 --> 01:00:33,847 - I just don't know why you would sleep with me 1398 01:00:33,891 --> 01:00:37,198 if you didn't want to be my boyfriend. 1399 01:00:38,852 --> 01:00:40,201 - Seriously? 1400 01:00:40,245 --> 01:00:43,857 - I guess you taught me an important lesson. 1401 01:00:43,901 --> 01:00:48,035 - Look, in my world, I'm not an asshole, okay? 1402 01:00:48,079 --> 01:00:51,778 I'm just a guy trying to figure it out. 1403 01:00:51,822 --> 01:00:53,519 - But you took advantage of me. 1404 01:00:53,562 --> 01:00:55,913 - Yes, in reality. 1405 01:00:55,956 --> 01:01:00,308 But not in the alternate reality in which I choose to live. 1406 01:01:00,352 --> 01:01:02,354 - There's only one reality, Brian. 1407 01:01:02,397 --> 01:01:04,617 - I'm starting to realize that. 1408 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:08,186 So, in reality I was an asshole. 1409 01:01:08,229 --> 01:01:11,232 And I'm sorry. 1410 01:01:11,276 --> 01:01:12,973 - That's fine. 1411 01:01:13,017 --> 01:01:14,366 At least you got fired. 1412 01:01:14,409 --> 01:01:15,933 - There you go. 1413 01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:18,370 - Okay, well then, I'll see you around then. 1414 01:01:18,413 --> 01:01:19,588 - Okay. 1415 01:01:19,632 --> 01:01:21,808 I'm actually going to get a coffee, so. 1416 01:01:21,852 --> 01:01:23,114 - Oh. 1417 01:01:23,157 --> 01:01:25,507 - So we'll say goodbye again later. 1418 01:01:25,551 --> 01:01:26,857 - Regular coffee? 1419 01:01:26,900 --> 01:01:28,206 - Espresso. 1420 01:01:28,249 --> 01:01:30,904 Double actually, if it's okay. 1421 01:01:30,948 --> 01:01:42,916 Did they train you on the machine yet? 1422 01:01:59,367 --> 01:02:02,240 - You want to feel the energy going through your arms, 1423 01:02:02,283 --> 01:02:05,286 up from the ground, out into the world. 1424 01:02:05,330 --> 01:02:07,462 - That's great, man. 1425 01:02:07,506 --> 01:02:09,769 - Yeah, I mean, whiskey and porn got me through initially, 1426 01:02:09,813 --> 01:02:13,077 but you know, I had to move on. 1427 01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:14,818 - Have you talked to Laura at all? 1428 01:02:14,861 --> 01:02:17,255 - No, like not at all. 1429 01:02:17,298 --> 01:02:19,779 Which is sort of romantic, in a weird way. 1430 01:02:19,823 --> 01:02:21,781 Like, no Facebook, no emails, 1431 01:02:21,825 --> 01:02:24,436 it's the way it should be, you know? 1432 01:02:24,479 --> 01:02:26,830 I hope she's doing well and everything but 1433 01:02:26,873 --> 01:02:28,657 I've gotta live my life. 1434 01:02:28,701 --> 01:02:30,050 - So you're not Googling her or? 1435 01:02:30,094 --> 01:02:31,791 - Oh, I'm Googling the shit out of her, yeah, 1436 01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:33,793 just not every single day now. 1437 01:02:33,837 --> 01:02:35,490 - That's good to hear. 1438 01:02:35,534 --> 01:02:38,972 - Yeah the T'ai Chi really helps. 1439 01:02:39,843 --> 01:02:42,410 - There's a coffee shop in TriBeCa that's hiring. 1440 01:02:42,454 --> 01:02:44,804 Closer to being a filmmaker, De Niro probably comes in 1441 01:02:44,848 --> 01:02:47,024 for espresso. 1442 01:02:47,067 --> 01:02:48,590 - What about Ashley? 1443 01:02:48,634 --> 01:02:50,070 You still Googling her? 1444 01:02:50,114 --> 01:02:52,420 - I think I'm gonna text her today. 1445 01:02:52,464 --> 01:02:53,813 Maybe she'll answer this time. 1446 01:02:53,857 --> 01:02:55,119 - Really? 1447 01:02:55,162 --> 01:02:57,121 - Yeah, I wanna talk to her face to face though. 1448 01:02:57,164 --> 01:02:58,775 - Why don't you call her. 1449 01:02:58,818 --> 01:03:00,341 - Yeah right, I'm gonna call her. 1450 01:03:00,385 --> 01:03:02,387 I haven't called anyone since 2005. 1451 01:03:02,430 --> 01:03:03,823 - I think you should call her. 1452 01:03:03,867 --> 01:03:04,998 - Really? 1453 01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:06,521 Do people like that? 1454 01:03:06,565 --> 01:03:09,960 - Yeah, calling is the new talking face to face. 1455 01:03:11,222 --> 01:03:13,224 - Okay, yeah, I'll call her. 1456 01:03:13,267 --> 01:03:14,442 - What are you gonna say? 1457 01:03:14,486 --> 01:03:15,835 - I'm gonna say that I like her. 1458 01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:17,010 - That's nice. 1459 01:03:17,054 --> 01:03:18,229 - Yeah, I think that's all I can say. 1460 01:03:18,272 --> 01:03:19,578 - I like you. 1461 01:03:19,621 --> 01:03:20,492 - Yeah. 1462 01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:21,362 - Brilliant, simple. 1463 01:03:21,406 --> 01:03:22,973 - You know. 1464 01:03:23,016 --> 01:03:24,191 I mean she can do whatever she wants with that information, 1465 01:03:24,235 --> 01:03:25,845 probably nothing but at least I will say, 1466 01:03:25,889 --> 01:03:27,760 "I like you." 1467 01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:29,718 - Well, good luck. 1468 01:03:29,762 --> 01:03:31,329 - Thank you. 1469 01:03:31,372 --> 01:03:33,244 - All right, get up here. 1470 01:03:33,287 --> 01:03:34,375 - Yep, let me join you. 1471 01:03:34,419 --> 01:03:35,986 - Let's do some T'ai Chi. 1472 01:03:36,029 --> 01:03:37,683 - I'm gonna Chi all over the place. 1473 01:03:37,726 --> 01:03:38,771 - Chi on your face. 1474 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:40,686 - Chi all over your butthole. 1475 01:03:40,729 --> 01:03:50,565 - That is very Zen. 1476 01:03:54,526 --> 01:03:56,093 - All right, I'm calling her, don't listen. 1477 01:03:56,136 --> 01:03:57,355 - I'm gonna hear what you're saying. 1478 01:03:57,398 --> 01:03:58,573 - You're making me self-conscious. 1479 01:03:58,617 --> 01:03:59,966 - I'm not listening. 1480 01:04:00,010 --> 01:04:00,793 - Thank you. 1481 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,012 - What? 1482 01:04:02,055 --> 01:04:14,198 I can't hear! 1483 01:04:18,115 --> 01:04:19,986 - I wasn't prepared to leave a message. 1484 01:04:20,030 --> 01:04:21,553 - Call her back. 1485 01:04:21,596 --> 01:04:23,468 - She let it go to voicemail, she'll think I'm psycho. 1486 01:04:23,511 --> 01:04:25,078 - You called and didn't leave a message? 1487 01:04:25,122 --> 01:04:26,123 That's psycho too. 1488 01:04:26,166 --> 01:04:27,211 - Like I'm on the window ledge? 1489 01:04:27,254 --> 01:04:28,429 One last phone call? 1490 01:04:28,473 --> 01:04:29,909 I'm psycho no matter what. 1491 01:04:29,953 --> 01:04:31,519 That's it, I'm never calling anyone again. 1492 01:04:31,563 --> 01:04:32,607 Why'd you do that to me? 1493 01:04:32,651 --> 01:04:35,045 I'm gonna text her. 1494 01:04:35,088 --> 01:04:36,960 - Don't text him, just show up. 1495 01:04:37,003 --> 01:04:39,179 - This is real life, people just don't show up. 1496 01:04:39,223 --> 01:04:41,790 What if he has a girlfriend at the coffee shop? 1497 01:04:41,834 --> 01:04:43,140 - At least you took a chance. 1498 01:04:43,183 --> 01:04:44,445 - I'm texting him. 1499 01:04:44,489 --> 01:04:45,620 - Don't text him. 1500 01:04:45,664 --> 01:04:47,318 - Ugh, you're so fucking- 1501 01:04:48,275 --> 01:04:50,495 Fine. 1502 01:04:50,538 --> 01:04:53,150 I hope you get fat. 1503 01:04:56,805 --> 01:05:01,462 - "Hey Ashley, love to meet up sometime if it's cool." 1504 01:05:01,506 --> 01:05:03,856 - That sounds fine, send it. 1505 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:04,944 - It sounds creepy though. 1506 01:05:04,988 --> 01:05:06,859 Just out of nowhere. 1507 01:05:06,903 --> 01:05:09,906 How about, "Hey Ashley, how are you? 1508 01:05:09,949 --> 01:05:11,168 "I was just thinking about you." 1509 01:05:11,211 --> 01:05:12,996 - Ooh, that's creepy. 1510 01:05:13,039 --> 01:05:15,346 - It has to have an exclamation point, you know? 1511 01:05:15,389 --> 01:05:17,087 Everything you text has to have an exclamation point 1512 01:05:17,130 --> 01:05:18,523 or it sounds sarcastic. 1513 01:05:18,566 --> 01:05:19,567 - "How are you?!" 1514 01:05:19,611 --> 01:05:20,917 - "Fun, casual text!" 1515 01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:21,830 - "Life is great!" 1516 01:05:21,874 --> 01:05:23,006 - "I'm not miserable!" 1517 01:05:23,049 --> 01:05:25,182 - "No one you love is ever gonna die!" 1518 01:05:25,225 --> 01:05:26,531 - Yeah, that's good, I'll send that. 1519 01:05:31,144 --> 01:05:33,407 - Oh my god, how did he take it? 1520 01:05:33,451 --> 01:05:35,888 - Very poorly, very embarrassing for him. 1521 01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:37,063 - I bet. 1522 01:05:37,107 --> 01:05:38,673 - But then he came back and apologized. 1523 01:05:38,717 --> 01:05:40,501 And he apologized to the new girl too. 1524 01:05:40,545 --> 01:05:41,981 - Why did he apologize to her? 1525 01:05:42,025 --> 01:05:43,461 - Oh, 'cause he slept with her. 1526 01:05:43,504 --> 01:05:44,941 - Okay. 1527 01:05:44,984 --> 01:05:46,464 - Yeah, sorry. 1528 01:05:46,507 --> 01:05:47,813 - No, I mean, I don't expect- 1529 01:05:47,856 --> 01:05:49,423 - Then I slept with her too. 1530 01:05:49,467 --> 01:05:50,990 - Jason, you cad. 1531 01:05:51,034 --> 01:05:52,426 - What can I say? 1532 01:05:52,470 --> 01:05:53,775 - Can't you get in trouble? 1533 01:05:53,819 --> 01:05:55,386 Won't you lose your job if she tells the owner? 1534 01:05:55,429 --> 01:05:56,691 - She won't. 1535 01:05:56,735 --> 01:05:57,997 We're kind of dating now. 1536 01:05:58,041 --> 01:05:59,129 - Nice. 1537 01:05:59,172 --> 01:06:00,173 - Yeah. 1538 01:06:00,217 --> 01:06:01,740 I'm completely in love with her. 1539 01:06:01,783 --> 01:06:03,307 - That's great, congratulations. 1540 01:06:03,350 --> 01:06:06,875 - Yeah, it's on the down low, though, very exciting. 1541 01:06:06,919 --> 01:06:08,007 - Great. 1542 01:06:08,051 --> 01:06:09,878 - We just had sex in the bathroom. 1543 01:06:09,922 --> 01:06:11,271 - And that's where we stop. 1544 01:06:11,315 --> 01:06:12,751 - Just like five minutes ago. 1545 01:06:12,794 --> 01:06:14,448 - Yep, wrapping it up. 1546 01:06:14,492 --> 01:06:15,667 I got to go. 1547 01:06:15,710 --> 01:06:16,885 - Really? 1548 01:06:16,929 --> 01:06:18,800 - Yeah, I gotta make a phone call. 1549 01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:21,934 - You know, he was hung up on you pretty hard. 1550 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:23,066 - Yeah? 1551 01:06:23,109 --> 01:06:24,850 - Definitely. 1552 01:06:24,893 --> 01:06:27,200 You kind of crushed him. 1553 01:06:31,117 --> 01:06:33,380 - Okay, "Wondering what you're up to. 1554 01:06:33,424 --> 01:06:35,034 "Would love to grab coffee." 1555 01:06:35,078 --> 01:06:37,819 - Sounds good. 1556 01:06:37,863 --> 01:06:39,821 - And then we hit send. 1557 01:06:39,865 --> 01:06:41,388 - Just do it. 1558 01:06:41,432 --> 01:06:44,522 - I am sending it right- 1559 01:06:44,565 --> 01:06:45,262 Wait. 1560 01:06:45,305 --> 01:06:46,611 - Just do it. 1561 01:06:47,655 --> 01:06:49,048 - "Hey, I'm in Jersey City. 1562 01:06:49,092 --> 01:06:50,745 "Would love to meet up." 1563 01:06:50,789 --> 01:06:52,138 - No, that's weird, why would you say you're in Jersey City? 1564 01:06:52,182 --> 01:06:54,053 - No, she's in Jersey City. 1565 01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:55,968 That's from her, just now. 1566 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:56,708 - She just texted you? 1567 01:06:56,751 --> 01:07:00,538 - Yeah, she's here. 1568 01:07:00,581 --> 01:07:01,756 Huh. 1569 01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:04,237 Should I wait a couple minutes so it's not like 1570 01:07:04,281 --> 01:07:06,065 I'm standing here with the phone in my hand? 1571 01:07:06,109 --> 01:07:07,719 - Oh, I don't know. 1572 01:07:07,762 --> 01:07:08,415 Yeah, probably. 1573 01:07:08,459 --> 01:07:09,025 - Yeah. 1574 01:07:09,068 --> 01:07:19,078 - Okay. 1575 01:07:19,122 --> 01:07:33,962 - Okay. 1576 01:07:38,532 --> 01:07:39,316 - Okay now. 1577 01:07:39,359 --> 01:07:40,882 - Yes, now. 1578 01:07:54,287 --> 01:07:56,985 ♪ We could have stopped this from happening 1579 01:07:57,029 --> 01:08:01,077 ♪ It's a little late for that, sweetheart, don't you think 1580 01:08:02,121 --> 01:08:04,776 ♪ Don't you think 1581 01:08:06,299 --> 01:08:09,128 ♪ But there are things I meant to clear 1582 01:08:09,172 --> 01:08:13,480 ♪ Things I should have said to those I hold dear ♪ 1583 01:08:14,742 --> 01:08:16,396 - Hi, how are you? 1584 01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:17,223 - Good, good. 1585 01:08:17,267 --> 01:08:18,050 - Good. 1586 01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:18,746 - You're in Jersey. 1587 01:08:18,790 --> 01:08:19,747 - Yeah, it's weird. 1588 01:08:19,791 --> 01:08:20,922 - Yeah, it is. 1589 01:08:20,966 --> 01:08:22,010 - Well it's not that weird. 1590 01:08:22,054 --> 01:08:23,925 - No, I guess not. 1591 01:08:23,969 --> 01:08:25,188 - I mean all you did was talk about 1592 01:08:25,231 --> 01:08:26,972 how you didn't want to be in a relationship. 1593 01:08:27,015 --> 01:08:28,713 - Yeah, at least I wasn't already in one. 1594 01:08:28,756 --> 01:08:29,844 - I wasn't. 1595 01:08:29,888 --> 01:08:31,150 - I don't even know, are you still? 1596 01:08:31,194 --> 01:08:33,805 - I just needed to figure things out. 1597 01:08:33,848 --> 01:08:35,067 - I guess we should have talked about it. 1598 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:36,634 - Yeah, that would have been smart. 1599 01:08:36,677 --> 01:08:38,375 - Yeah, it would have been. 1600 01:08:38,418 --> 01:08:39,811 - How was I supposed to take you seriously 1601 01:08:39,854 --> 01:08:40,942 when you were always just- 1602 01:08:40,986 --> 01:08:42,770 - I don't, I just, 1603 01:08:42,814 --> 01:08:46,513 I don't know, I guess I wasn't ready to show 1604 01:08:46,557 --> 01:08:48,602 how I was feeling. 1605 01:08:48,646 --> 01:08:50,038 That might sound stupid. 1606 01:08:50,082 --> 01:08:51,257 - I mean, I didn't know if you liked me 1607 01:08:51,301 --> 01:08:53,868 or if you were just having fun. 1608 01:08:53,912 --> 01:08:55,043 - No. 1609 01:08:55,087 --> 01:08:56,741 Yes, I liked you, that's what I'm saying. 1610 01:08:56,784 --> 01:09:01,702 I still like you, Ashley, I like you. 1611 01:09:01,746 --> 01:09:03,835 A lot. 1612 01:09:03,878 --> 01:09:06,403 That's the shaky thing my hands are doing, 1613 01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:09,057 so I think I'm on the right track with saying that. 1614 01:09:09,101 --> 01:09:11,973 Heart's beating fast and everything. 1615 01:09:12,017 --> 01:09:14,541 - I like you a lot too. 1616 01:09:15,455 --> 01:09:17,631 - And it really sucked when you disappeared. 1617 01:09:17,675 --> 01:09:19,285 - I know, I'm sorry. 1618 01:09:19,329 --> 01:09:20,721 I just didn't want to drag you through 1619 01:09:20,765 --> 01:09:22,201 all my baggage and shit. 1620 01:09:22,245 --> 01:09:23,333 - Where is it now? 1621 01:09:23,376 --> 01:09:24,943 Are you still seeing this guy at all? 1622 01:09:24,986 --> 01:09:27,032 - No, it's over. 1623 01:09:27,075 --> 01:09:29,687 But I'm gonna stay in Brooklyn because I have a place there 1624 01:09:29,730 --> 01:09:31,210 and I gave this one up and- 1625 01:09:31,254 --> 01:09:33,430 - Yeah, sure. 1626 01:09:34,300 --> 01:09:39,262 - But um, it's not too far away. 1627 01:09:40,872 --> 01:09:43,962 - I don't know, over all those tall buildings there. 1628 01:09:44,005 --> 01:09:45,659 - You don't have to go over the buildings, 1629 01:09:45,703 --> 01:09:47,922 you can go under them now by train. 1630 01:09:47,966 --> 01:09:48,488 - Oh right, right, right. 1631 01:09:48,532 --> 01:09:49,489 - Yeah. 1632 01:09:52,666 --> 01:09:54,277 Well, this has been good. 1633 01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:55,756 - Yes, it has. 1634 01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:58,716 Um, do you want to get something to eat or? 1635 01:09:58,759 --> 01:09:59,934 - Yeah. 1636 01:09:59,978 --> 01:10:01,588 Are you hungry? 1637 01:10:01,632 --> 01:10:02,372 - Not really. 1638 01:10:02,415 --> 01:10:08,291 - Me neither. 1639 01:10:12,251 --> 01:10:13,687 - I wasn't gonna be able to live with myself 1640 01:10:13,731 --> 01:10:15,385 if I didn't do that. 1641 01:10:15,428 --> 01:10:18,083 - You can do that, I mean, we've already had sex 1642 01:10:18,126 --> 01:10:19,563 like a million times. 1643 01:10:19,606 --> 01:10:21,869 - I know but you never know if the door is back open 1644 01:10:21,913 --> 01:10:24,394 or if it's been shut and you have to go get the key and- 1645 01:10:24,437 --> 01:10:25,786 - Nobody knows what you're talking about. 1646 01:10:25,830 --> 01:10:31,052 - No, not at all. 1647 01:10:35,013 --> 01:10:36,362 So do you want to take a walk, or? 1648 01:10:36,406 --> 01:10:37,929 - Yeah, yeah, let's just take a walk. 1649 01:10:37,972 --> 01:10:39,235 - Okay. 1650 01:10:40,888 --> 01:10:42,238 - I guess I could eat. 1651 01:10:42,281 --> 01:10:43,456 - Yeah, me too. 1652 01:10:43,500 --> 01:10:45,066 My stomach kind of hurts right now. 1653 01:10:45,110 --> 01:10:46,329 - Do you have to poop? 1654 01:10:46,372 --> 01:10:49,288 - No, but I appreciate you checking. 1655 01:10:50,333 --> 01:10:51,943 A little inappropriate. 1656 01:10:51,986 --> 01:10:53,771 - That's a little much, just go home at that point. 1657 01:10:53,814 --> 01:10:55,512 - Right? 1658 01:10:55,555 --> 01:10:57,731 ♪ I just wanted to know what disaster 1659 01:10:57,775 --> 01:11:01,300 ♪ Could make a face of such beauty frown 1660 01:11:01,344 --> 01:11:03,955 ♪ Even under sunglasses 1661 01:11:03,998 --> 01:11:07,872 ♪ So I asked her what is that you read 1662 01:11:12,050 --> 01:11:13,704 ♪ She said it's nothing 1663 01:11:13,747 --> 01:11:17,055 ♪ I shouldn't be reading the paper 1664 01:11:17,098 --> 01:11:19,971 ♪ Especially not in wintertime 1665 01:11:20,014 --> 01:11:23,322 ♪ It's depressing enough as it is 1666 01:11:23,366 --> 01:11:25,933 ♪ Without Tuesday's headlines 1667 01:12:04,407 --> 01:12:09,107 ♪ Julie you didn't have to get married 1668 01:12:09,150 --> 01:12:12,240 ♪ We just got to know each other 1669 01:12:12,284 --> 01:12:17,376 ♪ And Tuesday happens all the time 1670 01:12:17,420 --> 01:12:21,989 ♪ Julie why did you have to get married 1671 01:12:22,033 --> 01:12:25,384 ♪ I know I don't look like your father 1672 01:12:25,428 --> 01:12:35,394 ♪ But Tuesday happens all the time 1673 01:12:35,438 --> 01:12:41,879 ♪ But Tuesday happens all the time 1674 01:12:46,057 --> 01:12:48,233 ♪ I bought us coffee 1675 01:12:48,276 --> 01:12:51,018 ♪ Even though we needed a drink 1676 01:12:51,062 --> 01:12:54,413 ♪ And I told her all about the planets they found 1677 01:12:54,457 --> 01:12:57,851 ♪ And how elephants have funerals 1678 01:12:57,895 --> 01:13:01,551 ♪ And all the important things I know 1679 01:13:05,729 --> 01:13:07,295 ♪ She said that's something 1680 01:13:07,339 --> 01:13:10,516 ♪ Do you have any good records 1681 01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,867 ♪ I said I have lots of Phil Spector 1682 01:13:13,911 --> 01:13:15,129 ♪ She said I love him 1683 01:13:15,173 --> 01:13:17,218 ♪ Let's get some wine 1684 01:13:17,262 --> 01:13:27,272 ♪ I'm coming over 1685 01:13:27,315 --> 01:13:42,243 ♪ I'm coming over 1686 01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:47,292 ♪ I'm coming over 1687 01:13:47,335 --> 01:13:53,951 ♪ I'm coming over 1688 01:13:57,824 --> 01:14:02,568 ♪ Julie, you didn't have to get married 1689 01:14:02,612 --> 01:14:06,612 ♪ We just got to know each other ♪ 112730