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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:05,442 This programme contains some strong language from the start, 2 00:00:05,443 --> 00:00:08,362 scenes which some viewers may find upsetting 3 00:00:08,363 --> 00:00:10,723 and discriminatory language. 4 00:00:31,523 --> 00:00:32,883 Fuck. 5 00:00:34,883 --> 00:00:36,003 Shit! 6 00:00:39,163 --> 00:00:41,962 - Hello? - Hi, Adam. 7 00:00:41,963 --> 00:00:44,722 It's Shruti, one of the SHOs. Sorry to disturb you. 8 00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:47,522 Erm, you're on the rota for labour ward today, 9 00:00:47,523 --> 00:00:50,122 - and Mr Lockhart... - Er, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 10 00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:52,842 Erm, tell him I'm really sorry. 11 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,563 I think there's been an accident. I've been sat here for an hour... 12 00:00:59,403 --> 00:01:00,963 And I'll be there in a minute. 13 00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:04,642 Well, I'm not dead, am I? 14 00:01:04,643 --> 00:01:07,162 Please tell me you haven't ordered a coffin. 15 00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:10,322 Of course I'm not having an affair. I wouldn't have the time. 16 00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:13,842 I just fell asleep last night when I went to the car. 17 00:01:13,843 --> 00:01:16,682 Who did you phone? Please tell me you haven't phoned the police. 18 00:01:16,683 --> 00:01:18,482 Well, who did you phone, then? 19 00:01:18,483 --> 00:01:20,042 Oh, sorry. 20 00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:21,283 Who did you phone, then? 21 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,123 My mum?! 22 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,002 Shit. Are you deranged? 23 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,003 And what did she...? 24 00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:34,882 Don't go anywhere. I'm going to call you right back. 25 00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:37,042 Is coming out! 26 00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:38,562 Is coming out! 27 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:41,002 Well, a stroke of luck, you've come to the right place. 28 00:01:41,003 --> 00:01:42,682 Let's get you up to labour ward, shall we? 29 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:44,483 It's, erm, a bit of a walk, I'm afraid. 30 00:01:45,883 --> 00:01:48,162 Do you mind if I have a quick check? 31 00:01:48,163 --> 00:01:49,962 I'm a doctor. Probably should have said. 32 00:01:49,963 --> 00:01:51,402 I'm Adam. And you are...? 33 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,243 - Andrea. - Andrea. 34 00:01:56,283 --> 00:02:01,842 OK. OK, Andrea, so, erm, baby's arm 35 00:02:01,843 --> 00:02:04,363 - has come out. - That is normal? 36 00:02:05,483 --> 00:02:08,322 Take a wild guess. Baby is lying sideways. 37 00:02:08,323 --> 00:02:10,922 Do you understand that? Sideways? 38 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:13,602 - So you need a Caesarean section. - Oh, Caesarean. 39 00:02:13,603 --> 00:02:16,202 I've got a scalpel in my back pocket. You'll be fine. 40 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,562 Shall we go? 41 00:02:17,563 --> 00:02:19,803 - Yeah. - Yeah? That's it. 42 00:02:21,483 --> 00:02:23,562 That's it. You OK? 43 00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:27,002 Erm, Andrea, I know a short cut. Let's go this way. 44 00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:28,722 I don't want to hurry you, Andrea, 45 00:02:28,723 --> 00:02:31,202 but we've got to get going. You're doing brilliantly. 46 00:02:31,203 --> 00:02:33,442 - It's OK. Deep breaths. - Mind yourselves! 47 00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:35,522 Come on, then, quickly. Hurry up. 48 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,202 That's it, we're nearly there. 49 00:02:38,203 --> 00:02:40,162 We're going to go up in the staff lift. 50 00:02:40,163 --> 00:02:41,403 Nearly there, nearly there. 51 00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:46,242 - Come on. - This is lift? It's safe. Come on. 52 00:02:46,243 --> 00:02:49,122 - Really? - Yeah. You can do it. I can't! 53 00:02:49,123 --> 00:02:50,722 No, wait. Wait, wait. 54 00:02:50,723 --> 00:02:53,242 Wait for it. No, no, no. OK, are you ready? 55 00:02:53,243 --> 00:02:56,042 Three, two, one. 56 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,562 Keep breathing. Nice deep breaths. 57 00:02:58,563 --> 00:03:00,802 When I say so, we're going to jump out of the lift. 58 00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:02,202 Are you a real doctor? 59 00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:03,842 Fair question... 60 00:03:03,843 --> 00:03:06,002 ..though, strangely, one you've asked me 61 00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:07,722 after you showed me your vagina. 62 00:03:07,723 --> 00:03:10,562 Right, there you go. Yes? 63 00:03:10,563 --> 00:03:12,722 OK, so, let's get ready. 64 00:03:12,723 --> 00:03:14,762 Get ready. 65 00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:17,442 And jump! Don't worry, don't worry. 66 00:03:17,443 --> 00:03:20,163 The lift will go round and we'll have another go. 67 00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:24,002 - You're doing really well. - What's happening? 68 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,642 It's just going through the... 69 00:03:25,643 --> 00:03:27,443 ..through the roof bit before it goes down. 70 00:03:28,483 --> 00:03:30,402 All right? It'll be light again soon. 71 00:03:30,403 --> 00:03:32,563 - Something's wrong! Look! - OK. 72 00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:36,242 Jesus Christ. We call this a cord prolapse. 73 00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:38,922 Ideally, it would happen on labour ward, not in a mad lift. 74 00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:41,522 OK, Andrea, everything's going to be fine. 75 00:03:41,523 --> 00:03:43,042 I mean, it might be fine. 76 00:03:43,043 --> 00:03:45,562 If the cord gets cold, then baby stops getting blood. 77 00:03:45,563 --> 00:03:47,522 No more blood, no more baby. 78 00:03:47,523 --> 00:03:50,402 Right, hold it inside. You understand? Inside. 79 00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:52,082 - Yeah. - Come on, come on, come on. 80 00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:54,442 Are you the SHO? Staff lifts now. 81 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,322 Bring a hospital bed and a box of gloves. 82 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,562 Literally now. Cord prolapse. 83 00:03:58,563 --> 00:04:00,882 Right, come on, Andrea, 84 00:04:00,883 --> 00:04:02,362 we need to get off. Get ready. 85 00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:05,082 - And jump! Jump! Jump! - Can't! - Fuck it. 86 00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,603 Come on. OK? 87 00:04:09,603 --> 00:04:11,163 Andrea, stay there. 88 00:04:12,403 --> 00:04:14,802 Get her up on the bed. Knee-elbow position, 89 00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:16,602 replace the cord, get her round to theatre. 90 00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,802 I'm going to change into some scrubs. You consent her. 91 00:04:18,803 --> 00:04:21,442 - Consent her for...? - A deep-tissue massage. 92 00:04:21,443 --> 00:04:23,282 It's a cord prolapse! 93 00:04:23,283 --> 00:04:25,522 - Caesarean! - Oh, well, when you say, 94 00:04:25,523 --> 00:04:28,082 "knee-elbow position"... 95 00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,442 My mistake, sorry. 96 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,523 Your outfit looks a lot like what the doctors wear. 97 00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,162 I'll do this. You push the bed. 98 00:04:34,163 --> 00:04:35,523 Get up on here. That's it. 99 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,322 A bit less Alton Towers. 100 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,962 I'm so sorry. 101 00:04:41,963 --> 00:04:43,562 Why don't I drive? 102 00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:45,042 You go and find the anaesthetist. 103 00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:47,083 That's the doctor that makes you go sleep-sleep. 104 00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:50,082 I've found the husband. 105 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:51,602 He's just coming up from reception. 106 00:04:51,603 --> 00:04:54,442 OK, Andrea, this is going to be fine. You'll have a baby 107 00:04:54,443 --> 00:04:57,442 - in five minutes. - And is free? - Yep, free. Completely free. 108 00:04:57,443 --> 00:04:59,123 We're not even allowed to accept tips. 109 00:05:00,643 --> 00:05:02,842 Dr Adam, you should see me next. It's really urgent. 110 00:05:02,843 --> 00:05:05,282 - Really? - Erika, darling, can you just take a seat for me, please? 111 00:05:05,283 --> 00:05:08,842 Tracy! How was Majorca? Did Mick like the hotel? 112 00:05:08,843 --> 00:05:10,523 Erika, just go back to triage. 113 00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:13,762 I did explain that the doctor would be 114 00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:15,922 holding the cord inside. 115 00:05:15,923 --> 00:05:18,402 Probably didn't tell him I'd be wearing her like Kermit the Frog. 116 00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:19,802 I don't understand. 117 00:05:19,803 --> 00:05:24,123 That's baby's heartbeat. Welcome to the NHS. 118 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:34,963 This is obs and gynae. 119 00:05:35,963 --> 00:05:37,483 Also known as brats and twats. 120 00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:41,643 You're generally sailing the ship alone... 121 00:05:42,683 --> 00:05:45,362 ..a ship that's massive and on fire and no - one's had 122 00:05:45,363 --> 00:05:47,003 the time to teach you how to sail. 123 00:05:48,363 --> 00:05:50,682 It's literally life or death here. 124 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,882 And you're constantly being splashed by bodily fluids. 125 00:05:53,883 --> 00:05:55,723 Not even the fun kind. 126 00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:02,242 But what other doctors can say they end up with twice the number of 127 00:06:02,243 --> 00:06:04,362 patients they started with? 128 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,323 Beat that, geriatrics. 129 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,682 Clothes bill means I'm... 130 00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:12,923 ..probably running my job at a loss, though. 131 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,802 - Ah, Mr Lockhart. - Having fun there? 132 00:06:28,803 --> 00:06:32,202 - I was just... - Yeah, I'm not entirely convinced I want to know. 133 00:06:32,203 --> 00:06:34,282 I don't know if you heard, there was a massive 134 00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:35,882 cord prolapse before. 135 00:06:35,883 --> 00:06:38,642 Erm, crash section. Got the baby out in 90 seconds. 136 00:06:38,643 --> 00:06:41,242 I heard that you rocked up ten minutes late, 137 00:06:41,243 --> 00:06:43,802 nearly killed a patient in the maintenance lift, 138 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:46,922 then did a Caesarean section in casualwear. 139 00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:48,802 It was more that I took a short cut. 140 00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:51,282 Doctors aren't meant to take short cuts, Adam. 141 00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:53,402 Remember when I asked you to be an acting registrar? 142 00:06:53,403 --> 00:06:56,642 Can you try acting like a bloody registrar? 143 00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:59,202 I'll be in my office if you need me, 144 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:01,283 which I strongly suggest you won't. 145 00:07:03,643 --> 00:07:04,843 You've missed a bit. 146 00:07:14,923 --> 00:07:16,923 Mind out, please, mind out. 147 00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:30,242 It's really urgent! I know, petal, but I promise you 148 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:31,962 - the doctor won't be long. - Pinkie promise? 149 00:07:31,963 --> 00:07:34,162 Pinkie promise with a little cherry on top. 150 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:35,962 Oh! 151 00:07:35,963 --> 00:07:38,523 Why don't you head back to where you were sitting? 152 00:07:41,323 --> 00:07:44,122 - Moany old trout. - Morning, Ria. - Morning, Dr Kay. 153 00:07:44,123 --> 00:07:46,242 - Oh, there he is! - Ward round, Trace? 154 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,202 Can I ask you something personal, darling? 155 00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:50,042 Is it, "Why do you look like shit this morning?" 156 00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:51,402 I wasn't going to ask it like that. 157 00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:52,802 I slept in my car last night. 158 00:07:52,803 --> 00:07:56,562 Well, it must be hard maintaining a relationship, 159 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,362 what, with your job... 160 00:07:58,363 --> 00:08:00,882 ..and your personality. 161 00:08:00,883 --> 00:08:03,442 Tracy's the head midwife on today. 162 00:08:03,443 --> 00:08:05,603 I'd let her sew up my sister's perineum... 163 00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:08,482 ..which sounds weird, now that I've said it, 164 00:08:08,483 --> 00:08:10,282 but it's actually the highest compliment I can give. 165 00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:12,762 Oh, remember to remove the thick, shiny layer on the outside. 166 00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:16,002 Ignore him. His girlfriend's come to her senses and dumped him. 167 00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:18,802 - No-one's dumped anyone. - But if you do want to smack him, 168 00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,602 I will turn a blind eye. 169 00:08:20,603 --> 00:08:22,762 Do you mind if we nip to Room 8 first? 170 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,242 She's making pretty slow progress. 171 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,282 Pop downstairs and review Mrs Buckstar quickly. 172 00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,722 Doctors speak a lot of code, so it's "epididymo-orchitis" 173 00:08:30,723 --> 00:08:32,922 rather than "gammy cock and balls". 174 00:08:32,923 --> 00:08:34,802 "Review Mrs Buckstar," "Go to Starbucks." 175 00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:36,242 Which ward is Mrs Buckstar in? 176 00:08:36,243 --> 00:08:38,722 He wants you to get him a fancy coffee without me knowing. 177 00:08:38,723 --> 00:08:41,283 Milk and one sugar for me, please. 178 00:08:48,643 --> 00:08:51,642 I'm in labour, Mother, not quadriplegic. 179 00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:54,482 Hi. I'm Adam, one of the doctors. 180 00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:57,042 I'm afraid I've got some bad news. 181 00:08:57,043 --> 00:08:58,683 You've spelt 'pavilion' wrong. 182 00:09:02,323 --> 00:09:03,882 Would you like a sweetie, dear? 183 00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:06,082 The doctor's not going to give me better care 184 00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,523 - because you offer him a Murray Mint. - In fairness, I might, actually. 185 00:09:13,283 --> 00:09:14,963 All right? 186 00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:20,282 You've got a little bit stuck at six centimetres, 187 00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:21,882 so I suggest we wang the dose up 188 00:09:21,883 --> 00:09:24,002 on the drip that's helping your contractions... 189 00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:25,762 - Is "wang" a medical term? - Sure is. 190 00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:27,923 And if that doesn't work, we'll, erm... 191 00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:33,802 Anna, let's put the Synto onto 84 and re-examine in four hours. 192 00:09:33,803 --> 00:09:35,722 It won't be me, actually. I'll be home by then. 193 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:37,682 - Really? - Well, I've been here 15 hours. 194 00:09:37,683 --> 00:09:40,802 If I stay any longer, they'll start charging me council tax. 195 00:09:40,803 --> 00:09:42,962 - Right. - Don't worry, darling, 196 00:09:42,963 --> 00:09:45,962 I'll do it, so at least it'll be a familiar face. 197 00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:47,962 Could you do the examination instead, Doctor? 198 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:51,202 It does make more sense for Tracy to do it. 199 00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,722 - Where did you train? - Would you like me to pop home 200 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,242 and get my degree certificates? 201 00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:57,562 There's no way you could stay, is there? 202 00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,562 Erm, I'm not sure I like where this is going. 203 00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:02,162 You're not saying I can't choose who 204 00:10:02,163 --> 00:10:04,122 does intimate examinations on me, are you? 205 00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:06,682 I'm saying you won't be choosing based on the colour of their skin. 206 00:10:06,683 --> 00:10:10,882 - Adam! - What? - When did anyone say anything about skin colour? 207 00:10:10,883 --> 00:10:12,402 It's called patient choice. 208 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,842 It's important to have choice, like tonight I might... 209 00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:18,122 ..choose to order a pizza rather than firebomb a mosque. 210 00:10:18,123 --> 00:10:19,802 I think what Dr Kay meant to say... 211 00:10:19,803 --> 00:10:22,562 What I'm saying is, I know it's stressful being on labour ward, 212 00:10:22,563 --> 00:10:24,842 but anything more like this, and I will have to have you 213 00:10:24,843 --> 00:10:26,682 removed from the building. Is that understood? 214 00:10:26,683 --> 00:10:30,402 OK. OK, let's crack on, shall we? 215 00:10:30,403 --> 00:10:32,482 Wanker. 216 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:34,242 That had better be a crossword answer. 217 00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:36,603 No, dear, she called you a wanker. 218 00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:43,762 What the hell was all that about? 219 00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,442 I guess white supremacists have babies, too. 220 00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:48,202 Not her. You. 221 00:10:48,203 --> 00:10:51,682 - Me? - I don't need a white knight to defend my honour. 222 00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:53,202 Hang on. I'm the registrar. 223 00:10:53,203 --> 00:10:54,802 Acting registrar. 224 00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:57,682 - I'm the most senior doctor here. - Until somebody more senior turns up. 225 00:10:57,683 --> 00:11:01,962 - Well, I'm running this ward now, and it's up to me... - No, I'm running 226 00:11:01,963 --> 00:11:04,122 this ward, young man, and I'm more than capable 227 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:06,242 of handling myself, and the moment that I can't, 228 00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:07,882 I'll let somebody know, 229 00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:11,402 and I don't want to spoil the surprise - it won't be you. 230 00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:14,042 And don't tell the patients that you're kicking them out. 231 00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:16,322 This is the NHS, not your golf club. 232 00:11:16,323 --> 00:11:17,962 Which room are we kicking out? 233 00:11:17,963 --> 00:11:19,362 No, we're not kicking 234 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:21,322 anybody out, Benilda. They're all in labour, 235 00:11:21,323 --> 00:11:23,722 so we thought we might wait until they had their babies. 236 00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:25,322 Well, get a move on. 237 00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,282 The hospital's on red alert for beds. 238 00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:29,442 We're actually more than halfway to black alert. 239 00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:32,003 So, like, dusky-merlot alert. 240 00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,282 Can you, er, go to gynae? 241 00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:38,002 The lady in bed 17's fit for home. 242 00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:40,602 I'm actually in the middle of a ward round. 243 00:11:40,603 --> 00:11:43,002 But, yeah, I mean, I'll find a moment. 244 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,642 Before you do that, you'll need to 245 00:11:44,643 --> 00:11:46,642 - fill out an incident form for Room 8. - Hang on, 246 00:11:46,643 --> 00:11:49,083 I didn't have to do one for the cord prolapse. 247 00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:01,922 - Erika? - Third attendance this week 248 00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:04,442 with non-specific symptoms. 249 00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:07,442 OK, everybody, back to your jobs. We don't need the Polyphonic Spree. 250 00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:10,083 - Shoo, shoo. - Oh. - Come on. 251 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,922 Not you! 252 00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:16,043 Oh! Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 253 00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:20,282 Right, surprise me. What's the management? 254 00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:22,202 Right. Er... 255 00:12:22,203 --> 00:12:24,762 OK, well, I would, erm... 256 00:12:24,763 --> 00:12:26,562 ..check for a patent airway, 257 00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:28,202 er, then I would put her 258 00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:31,402 in the left lateral position, run high oxygen flow 259 00:12:31,403 --> 00:12:34,122 through a non-rebreather mask, erm, check for 260 00:12:34,123 --> 00:12:35,402 a pulse... 261 00:12:35,403 --> 00:12:37,643 So near and yet so shit. 262 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:41,443 So, when people are really unconscious... 263 00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,923 ..their hands smash into their faces. 264 00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:56,882 Adam? 265 00:12:56,883 --> 00:12:58,003 Adam! 266 00:12:59,483 --> 00:13:00,802 Adam? 267 00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:02,722 Do you think I'm rubbish? 268 00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:05,002 Look, I wasn't great on my first week, either. 269 00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,963 I've been here two months! 270 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,282 - Two months? - Well, I just haven't had a chance 271 00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,442 to do much hands-on stuff yet. 272 00:13:14,443 --> 00:13:16,082 How many babies have you delivered? 273 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,602 Erm... 274 00:13:17,603 --> 00:13:19,562 No babies have needed delivery in two months? 275 00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:21,562 Everyone's always too busy to teach me. 276 00:13:21,563 --> 00:13:23,322 You just need to be less of a wallflower. 277 00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:24,883 It's dog eat dog in this place. 278 00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:27,203 And... 279 00:13:28,203 --> 00:13:29,603 ..the dogs eat wallflowers. 280 00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:34,242 Sorry, sorry, sorry. I've been elbow-deep in a patient, 281 00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:37,642 I've had an ethnostate in Room 8 and someone else playing dead. 282 00:13:37,643 --> 00:13:39,802 Oh, and I've got blood matted into my pubes. 283 00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:41,442 I love it when you talk dirty. 284 00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:43,042 Right, so, who did you say you were? 285 00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:44,722 My name's Harry. 286 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,602 When you called my mother. 287 00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:48,403 I said I was your fuck buddy. 288 00:13:50,603 --> 00:13:51,962 I said I was your flatmate. 289 00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,842 But she knows we've only got one bedroom. 290 00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:56,282 Wild idea, but you know you could just... tell her about us? 291 00:13:56,283 --> 00:13:58,562 You don't know her. She'll turn you into stone, or something. 292 00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,362 Nah. Mums love me. It's like my superpower. 293 00:14:01,363 --> 00:14:03,202 How are we going to fake our own deaths, 294 00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:04,602 then, before Greg's stag do? 295 00:14:04,603 --> 00:14:06,482 I'm thinking avalanche, helicopter crash... 296 00:14:06,483 --> 00:14:09,082 - Ah, it'll be a laugh. - Carbon Monoxide poisoning? 297 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:11,082 Shouldn't you pop along, 298 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,482 seeing as you're the best man? Crap. I was meant to go to gynae. 299 00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:15,362 - Sorry, call you later. - Don't apologise. 300 00:14:15,363 --> 00:14:17,002 That's the longest call we've had in months. 301 00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,643 I was starting to get bored. 302 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,242 ♪ No - no, no, no ♪ 303 00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:24,962 ♪ No - no - no, no, no - no, no ♪ 304 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:26,562 ♪ No, no - no ♪ 305 00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:28,162 ♪ No, no, no - no ♪ 306 00:14:28,163 --> 00:14:29,602 ♪ No - no, no, no ♪ 307 00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,122 ♪ No - no, no, no ♪ 308 00:14:31,123 --> 00:14:33,002 ♪ No - no, no, no - no, no ♪ 309 00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:35,482 ♪ Nobody can do the ♪ ♪ Shing-a-ling... ♪ 310 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:36,882 Erm, good news, Mrs W. 311 00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:39,083 You are finally free to go home. 312 00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:43,603 Are you stupid? 313 00:14:44,923 --> 00:14:47,522 I was told you were good to go, but, yeah, you don't look great. 314 00:14:47,523 --> 00:14:49,083 Speak for yourself. 315 00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:52,962 Erm, must have been a bit of a mix-up. 316 00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:55,602 I'll come back later. I need to see someone else now. 317 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,203 Hopefully a hairdresser. 318 00:14:58,403 --> 00:15:00,042 ♪ Skate Like I do ♪ 319 00:15:00,043 --> 00:15:02,442 ♪ Nobody can do Boogaloo ♪ 320 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,482 ♪ Like I do ♪ 321 00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:04,962 ♪ Nobody can do Philly ♪ 322 00:15:04,963 --> 00:15:06,482 ♪ Like I do ♪ 323 00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:09,922 ♪ Well, don't you know I'm ♪ ♪ gonna skate right through... ♪ 324 00:15:09,923 --> 00:15:11,482 Dr Kay, you're needed in Room 4. 325 00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:12,883 Yes, I know... 326 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,642 ♪ When I go to Philly, I do ♪ 327 00:15:15,643 --> 00:15:17,802 ♪ Ain't nobody ♪ ♪ doin' it but me, babe ♪ 328 00:15:17,803 --> 00:15:19,202 ♪ Nobody but me ♪ 329 00:15:19,203 --> 00:15:21,043 ♪ Well, let me tell you, nobody ♪ 330 00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:25,362 ♪ But nobody but me ♪ 331 00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:26,962 ♪ Let me tell you, nobody ♪ 332 00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,922 ♪ Nobody Nobody... ♪ 333 00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:33,002 Never actually let the patient see the forceps. 334 00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:35,762 The only people happy with two-foot-long metal salad tongs 335 00:15:35,763 --> 00:15:37,962 inserted in their vaginas are people who aren't aware 336 00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:40,042 that there are two-foot-long metal salad tongs 337 00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,282 inserted in their vaginas. 338 00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:45,042 - It's only a few more minutes. - Shut up, Graham! 339 00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:47,162 - And put your shirt back on. - Just breathe. 340 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,162 That's what's important. 341 00:15:49,163 --> 00:15:51,242 You're doing so good. 342 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:53,562 You're doing so well. 343 00:15:53,563 --> 00:15:55,802 You're doing so well, my little soldier! 344 00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:58,723 Shut up, Graham. I'm going to play the song now. 345 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,122 - Seen one before? - Yes... 346 00:16:03,123 --> 00:16:04,962 See one, do one, teach one. 347 00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,522 I don't like this song. 348 00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:07,923 Change the song, change the song. 349 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,842 Wait for a contraction. 350 00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,122 And pull. 351 00:16:13,123 --> 00:16:14,723 You got to keep breathing. 352 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:18,282 Just find your centre, baby. 353 00:16:18,283 --> 00:16:19,643 - No stress. - Graham... 354 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:24,562 - Dr Kay speaking. - It's Greg. You've not answered 355 00:16:24,563 --> 00:16:26,802 any emails in four days. No-one even knows where we're meeting. 356 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:30,202 - Push, push, push, push, push! - Pull as hard as you can! Now! 357 00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:31,922 Oh, God, tell me you're not having sex. 358 00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:34,322 - Just on labour ward right now. - I know it's traditional 359 00:16:34,323 --> 00:16:36,642 for the best man to humiliate the groom on his stag do, 360 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:39,602 and traditionally that involves handcuffs and a sex worker... 361 00:16:39,603 --> 00:16:41,162 Just put some oomph into it. 362 00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:43,442 Welly's threatening to take over and drag us all to a strip club. 363 00:16:43,443 --> 00:16:45,322 No, no, no, we won't be going to... breast clinic. 364 00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:47,282 If this doesn't work, will we have to do a Caesarean? 365 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:50,882 It will work. Erm, look, it's all going to be civilised, don't worry. 366 00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:53,362 You say, "Don't worry," but you'll understand why I am still worried. 367 00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:55,882 Tell everyone 8 o'clock upstairs at the Crown. 368 00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:58,242 I'll see you later. I really need to get back to this vagina. 369 00:16:58,243 --> 00:17:00,562 Yeah, well, you're definitely not having sex, then. 370 00:17:00,563 --> 00:17:02,362 You got to stay breathing, OK? 371 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:04,242 That's it, that's it. You're doing brilliantly. 372 00:17:04,243 --> 00:17:05,962 - Thanks. - I was talking to the patient. 373 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:08,922 Nice and slowly, nice and slowly. Don't let her tear. 374 00:17:08,923 --> 00:17:11,722 - You're so beautiful! - Graham, just stop. 375 00:17:11,723 --> 00:17:13,082 Nice and slowly, nice and... 376 00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:16,482 Dad, do you want to come down and see baby being born? 377 00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:19,603 - Oh, my God, where's its face?! - What's the matter with his face?! 378 00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:23,882 His face is fine. 379 00:17:23,883 --> 00:17:25,842 Just on the front of his head, not the back. 380 00:17:25,843 --> 00:17:28,123 Remember I said, "Don't let her tear"? 381 00:17:42,323 --> 00:17:45,243 Adam's a good name. 382 00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:50,722 You've got a bit of a tear going into the back passage. 383 00:17:50,723 --> 00:17:52,602 We'll get you round to theatre, 384 00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:55,362 and have that repaired nicely for you. 385 00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:57,363 Won't take more than an hour or so. 386 00:18:37,603 --> 00:18:40,242 Adam, I'm so sorry. I wish I could've sewn it up myself. 387 00:18:40,243 --> 00:18:42,322 - I've just never actually done it... - It's fine. 388 00:18:42,323 --> 00:18:44,362 Besides, my genitals were wondering why 389 00:18:44,363 --> 00:18:46,403 they hadn't been covered in blood for a few hours. 390 00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:54,202 Better do an incident form. 391 00:18:54,203 --> 00:18:56,082 How are we doing here, then? 392 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,602 All under control, Mr Lockhart. 393 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,362 - Miracles never cease. - Could you just have... 394 00:18:59,363 --> 00:19:01,522 I thought I told you to discharge that gynae patient. 395 00:19:01,523 --> 00:19:02,922 I see the miracles have ceased. 396 00:19:02,923 --> 00:19:04,282 No. But she's not even... 397 00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:06,922 Are my team causing you trouble, Ms Mendoza? 398 00:19:06,923 --> 00:19:08,402 We're full on labour ward. 399 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:11,082 Post-nates, ante-nates, gynae. I don't know how we're supposed 400 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,802 to admit anyone from A&E. 401 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,642 We've been on red alert all day, and we're practically at black alert. 402 00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:18,762 Burgundy alert, then. 403 00:19:18,763 --> 00:19:20,962 I'm sure we can do something about that for you. 404 00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:23,282 - Can't we, Dr Kay? - Yeah, we could pull out 405 00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:25,522 the patient's drips, and chuck her out the window. 406 00:19:25,523 --> 00:19:27,082 I knew you'd think of something. 407 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,522 - Leave it with us. - Can I help at all? 408 00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,522 You could pop down to the coffee shop. 409 00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:33,282 There's a vacancy for a barista. 410 00:19:33,283 --> 00:19:36,682 Shruti did her first forcep delivery earlier. 411 00:19:36,683 --> 00:19:38,082 Er, yeah, yeah. 412 00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:40,402 She had been in second stage for over an hour, and we... 413 00:19:40,403 --> 00:19:42,603 Very good. Walk with me, Adam. 414 00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:46,482 Quick story for you. 415 00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:48,602 So, there's this acting obstetric registrar, 416 00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:53,402 and he walks into a room and he calls his patient a Nazi. 417 00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:55,562 Oh, you're making it so much worse than it was. 418 00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:57,882 - She was being racist to Tracy... - Every mother and baby 419 00:19:57,883 --> 00:20:00,402 on this ward is relying on your good decisions, 420 00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:03,322 and your good judgment. Apologise to Tracy, 421 00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:05,082 apologise to the patient, 422 00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:06,803 and send some people home. 423 00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,002 Oh, and, Adam? 424 00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:11,882 Stop being shit. 425 00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:13,683 ♪ You hit me once I hit you back ♪ 426 00:20:15,123 --> 00:20:16,802 ♪ You gave a kick I gave a slap ♪ 427 00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:20,763 ♪ You smashed a plate over my ♪ ♪ head then I set fire to our bed ♪ 428 00:20:23,243 --> 00:20:26,522 ♪ You hit me once I hit you back... ♪ 429 00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:28,242 Rachel Glover? 430 00:20:28,243 --> 00:20:29,643 Kerry Salisbury? 431 00:20:31,283 --> 00:20:32,883 Caroline Morobeto? 432 00:20:36,203 --> 00:20:38,922 ♪ Oh, my black eye casts no shadow ♪ 433 00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:41,442 ♪ Your red eye sees no blame ♪ 434 00:20:41,443 --> 00:20:43,762 ♪ Your slaps don't ♪ ♪ stick Your kicks don't hit ♪ 435 00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:45,562 ♪ So we remain the same ♪ 436 00:20:45,563 --> 00:20:47,762 ♪ Blood sticks, sweat drips ♪ 437 00:20:47,763 --> 00:20:49,962 ♪ Break the lock if it don't fit ♪ 438 00:20:49,963 --> 00:20:52,162 ♪ A kick in the teeth is good for some ♪ 439 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,363 ♪ A kiss with a fist ♪ ♪ is better than none ♪ 440 00:20:56,243 --> 00:20:58,322 ♪ Whoa ♪ 441 00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,443 ♪ A kiss with a fist ♪ ♪ is better than none ♪ 442 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:08,322 So, you've recovered from earlier. 443 00:21:08,323 --> 00:21:10,602 Oh, yes. Oh, God, sorry, Dr Adam. 444 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,962 I don't know what came over me. 445 00:21:11,963 --> 00:21:13,882 So, remind me, how many weeks are you? 446 00:21:13,883 --> 00:21:16,202 Oh, God, I hate maths. 447 00:21:16,203 --> 00:21:19,602 I couldn't even tell you in months. Er... 448 00:21:19,603 --> 00:21:21,362 Erm, OK, let's think. 449 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,322 So... Birthday's in June. 450 00:21:24,323 --> 00:21:25,443 I'll be 27... 451 00:21:27,443 --> 00:21:30,083 Well, it's got to be, like, 2,000 weeks? 452 00:21:31,443 --> 00:21:33,123 You're 25 weeks. 453 00:21:34,483 --> 00:21:36,322 Oh! 454 00:21:36,323 --> 00:21:37,723 You mean the baby. 455 00:21:40,243 --> 00:21:44,002 So, erm, what's the... problem? 456 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:48,242 Well, I woke up this morning with a headache, 457 00:21:48,243 --> 00:21:52,282 and my tongue is just, like, totally covered in spots. 458 00:21:52,283 --> 00:21:54,083 Right. Let's have a look. 459 00:21:58,403 --> 00:22:00,123 OK. 460 00:22:02,763 --> 00:22:06,562 I'm afraid that what you have is known as... 461 00:22:06,563 --> 00:22:08,363 ..taste buds. 462 00:22:10,803 --> 00:22:13,323 Oh. 463 00:22:16,283 --> 00:22:18,522 So, is there someone at home we can call 464 00:22:18,523 --> 00:22:20,282 to come and collect you, 465 00:22:20,283 --> 00:22:22,362 or do you live here now? 466 00:22:22,363 --> 00:22:24,843 Oh, God, no, who'd want to live with me? 467 00:22:28,883 --> 00:22:30,403 Right. 468 00:22:35,403 --> 00:22:38,362 Adam, that lady you just saw, her blood pressure's a bit high. 469 00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:41,002 - Do you want me to send her for some bloods? - Just send her home. 470 00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:44,203 No, wait. Erm, yes, do the bloods. 471 00:22:45,603 --> 00:22:47,163 Yep? 472 00:22:48,523 --> 00:22:50,203 What's the trace like? 473 00:22:52,683 --> 00:22:54,923 Isn't the evening registrar here yet? 474 00:22:57,483 --> 00:22:59,642 OK. Fine. 475 00:22:59,643 --> 00:23:01,882 Right, we're doing a Caesarean for Room 8. 476 00:23:01,883 --> 00:23:04,722 Dr Adam? Dr Adam, sorry, sorry, I meant to say. 477 00:23:04,723 --> 00:23:07,042 My teeth have become a bit itchy. 478 00:23:07,043 --> 00:23:08,523 Send her home. 479 00:23:09,603 --> 00:23:11,682 Don't ask to do it. I'm tired. 480 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,282 I need to be gone ten minutes ago. 481 00:23:13,283 --> 00:23:14,922 Erm, so, we're all good to go. 482 00:23:14,923 --> 00:23:16,482 We'll have baby out in five minutes, 483 00:23:16,483 --> 00:23:20,002 and may I just say, I misspoke before 484 00:23:20,003 --> 00:23:23,202 - and I'm very sorry. - All water under the bridge. 485 00:23:23,203 --> 00:23:25,202 But just checking it will be you doing this operation 486 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:27,043 and nobody else. 487 00:23:28,963 --> 00:23:30,682 Yes. 488 00:23:30,683 --> 00:23:32,323 Yes, it will. Yeah. 489 00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:41,362 Actually, fuck it. You've got to learn some time. You're up. 490 00:23:41,363 --> 00:23:43,242 - Come on, you've seen one. - Y-Yeah... 491 00:23:43,243 --> 00:23:46,042 So you know the routine. See one, fuck one up, teach one. 492 00:23:46,043 --> 00:23:48,842 Really? Thank you. 493 00:23:48,843 --> 00:23:51,443 - Are you sure? - Not especially. Come on. 494 00:23:59,763 --> 00:24:01,283 Are you happy? 495 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:05,203 Right, come on. 496 00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:09,442 - This it? - Yeah. Hurry up, please, 497 00:24:09,443 --> 00:24:11,883 I think the anaesthetist's retiring next week. 498 00:24:16,723 --> 00:24:18,522 - Adam? - Mm? 499 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:21,002 Stretch it. Come on. Harder than that. 500 00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,883 Right, through the peritoneum, then. 501 00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:27,522 Pop your finger in. You're not going to damage anything. 502 00:24:27,523 --> 00:24:29,682 OK. 503 00:24:29,683 --> 00:24:31,123 Oh! 504 00:24:34,643 --> 00:24:37,082 Adam? Adam? 505 00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:39,762 Er, yeah, OK, good. Great. So, you're going to make 506 00:24:39,763 --> 00:24:42,322 a U-shape in the lower segment of the uterus, 507 00:24:42,323 --> 00:24:44,322 and then you're going to extend it with your fingers. 508 00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:45,922 What if there isn't a lower segment? 509 00:24:45,923 --> 00:24:48,162 You know, like if it's before 32 weeks. 510 00:24:48,163 --> 00:24:50,362 Yeah, we usually save the Q&A session for afterwards. 511 00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:53,042 It would just be a horrible, bloody mess. Come on, get on with it. 512 00:24:53,043 --> 00:24:54,922 - Is that...? - Good. 513 00:24:54,923 --> 00:24:56,442 Now what? 514 00:24:56,443 --> 00:24:58,642 I think even you can guess what happens next. Come on. 515 00:24:58,643 --> 00:25:00,322 That's it. 516 00:25:00,323 --> 00:25:02,363 Just guide the head out. It's coming. 517 00:25:03,883 --> 00:25:05,363 OK. 518 00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:08,323 That's it. 519 00:25:10,043 --> 00:25:12,763 One baby coming up... 520 00:25:17,803 --> 00:25:20,042 No, get her off me. I'm not having a Paki 521 00:25:20,043 --> 00:25:22,122 delivering my baby! Get her off me! 522 00:25:22,123 --> 00:25:25,602 Stop touching it! You promised that you would do it! 523 00:25:25,603 --> 00:25:28,242 Excuse me, get me out of this! Take this! 524 00:25:28,243 --> 00:25:29,962 What is this? Get this off me! 525 00:25:29,963 --> 00:25:32,283 - Adolf's a good name. - Mum, will you do something?! 526 00:25:34,603 --> 00:25:36,043 You did really well. 527 00:25:37,323 --> 00:25:39,643 One Caesarean down, 8,000 to go. 528 00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:43,442 To be fair, they don't normally end like that. 529 00:25:43,443 --> 00:25:46,763 Erm, write up the notes and mention that I closed the skin. 530 00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:52,803 Oh, gosh, isn't he wonderful? 531 00:26:06,163 --> 00:26:07,803 Oh, for... 532 00:26:13,763 --> 00:26:15,242 Cancellations hotline. 533 00:26:15,243 --> 00:26:17,842 Press 1 for you need to stay at work, leaving me to make 534 00:26:17,843 --> 00:26:22,002 small talk with 20 public-school dickheads I barely know. 535 00:26:22,003 --> 00:26:25,122 That's unfair. There's only 15 of them. 536 00:26:25,123 --> 00:26:26,562 And I'm just leaving now. 537 00:26:26,563 --> 00:26:29,842 - No way! - Can you bring a change of clothes, please? 538 00:26:29,843 --> 00:26:32,282 Yeah. Anything in particular? 539 00:26:32,283 --> 00:26:33,482 Erm, something smart-casual 540 00:26:33,483 --> 00:26:36,282 and not totally encrusted with a stranger's blood? 541 00:26:36,283 --> 00:26:38,282 Hula skirt and feather boa it is, then. 542 00:26:38,283 --> 00:26:40,163 See you in a bit. 543 00:26:44,123 --> 00:26:46,002 You can't help being ill, darling. 544 00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:48,362 I'll just get somebody else to pick her up. 545 00:26:48,363 --> 00:26:51,442 Right. Bye-bye. 546 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,282 Er, Adam? 547 00:26:53,283 --> 00:26:55,242 I saw what you did to that dolphin. 548 00:26:55,243 --> 00:26:57,322 A gentleman never discusses a lady's blowhole. 549 00:26:57,323 --> 00:26:59,642 - Do you want my advice, Adam? - Erm, not really. 550 00:26:59,643 --> 00:27:01,282 That is exactly your problem. 551 00:27:01,283 --> 00:27:03,243 It was pretty funny, though, right? 552 00:27:18,563 --> 00:27:24,482 ♪ - Prophet six-zero ♪ ♪ - Zero-nine-one ♪ 553 00:27:24,483 --> 00:27:27,562 ♪ This is the flight number ♪ 554 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:30,563 ♪ Of our galactic sun ♪ 555 00:27:32,563 --> 00:27:37,523 ♪ - Prophet six-zero ♪ ♪ - Zero-nine-one ♪ 556 00:27:38,883 --> 00:27:40,242 ♪ Before we start ♪ 557 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:45,202 ♪ You should know that ♪ ♪ you're not the only one ♪ 558 00:27:45,203 --> 00:27:46,643 ♪ Who can hurt me... ♪ 559 00:28:05,043 --> 00:28:06,762 It's my second-favourite doctor! 560 00:28:06,763 --> 00:28:08,002 Who's number one? 561 00:28:08,003 --> 00:28:09,523 David Tennant. First series. 562 00:28:13,123 --> 00:28:15,682 - How was work? - Fine, thanks. Who are they? 563 00:28:15,683 --> 00:28:18,042 No idea, but they're better craic than your mates upstairs. 564 00:28:18,043 --> 00:28:19,362 Oh, come on. 565 00:28:19,363 --> 00:28:21,522 I'm sure you'll find something in common with them. 566 00:28:21,523 --> 00:28:24,202 There you go. See? Wearing the same T-shirt. 567 00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:26,602 Some guy called... Welly brought them. 568 00:28:26,603 --> 00:28:29,203 Well, they're not too terrible, considering. 569 00:28:32,763 --> 00:28:34,883 Shall we just do this? Come on. 570 00:28:41,923 --> 00:28:44,642 Ah! 7:58. There you go. 571 00:28:44,643 --> 00:28:47,882 I knew you wouldn't let me down. 572 00:28:47,883 --> 00:28:51,602 - No, you didn't. - Yeah, fine. May have lost a small bet. 573 00:28:51,603 --> 00:28:54,002 Nightmare! This place doesn't do Jagerbombs! 574 00:28:54,003 --> 00:28:55,362 Whatever will we do? 575 00:28:55,363 --> 00:28:58,603 - Adster! - Welly. Don't do that. 576 00:29:00,043 --> 00:29:03,722 Where's your T-shirt? Yeah, Adster, where's your T-shirt? 577 00:29:03,723 --> 00:29:05,363 Put it on. 578 00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:08,882 Put it on. 579 00:29:08,883 --> 00:29:15,642 Put it on, put it on, put it on, put it on! 580 00:29:15,643 --> 00:29:18,162 Yes! And as for you... 581 00:29:18,163 --> 00:29:20,522 ..one pint of gin. 582 00:29:20,523 --> 00:29:21,922 No, I'm not going to drink that. 583 00:29:21,923 --> 00:29:24,162 - Well, you will be, because it's tradi-ti-on. - How can it be 584 00:29:24,163 --> 00:29:25,882 a tradition? I've never got married before. 585 00:29:25,883 --> 00:29:28,522 Right, I need a drink. Is this my stuff? 586 00:29:28,523 --> 00:29:30,962 - So, did your mum call? - She left a voicemail. 587 00:29:30,963 --> 00:29:32,962 Ah. And you didn't listen. 588 00:29:32,963 --> 00:29:35,963 No. I'm changing my number and moving to Venezuela. 589 00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:39,003 You done there? 590 00:29:40,523 --> 00:29:42,362 Right, come on, what do you want? 591 00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:46,082 I think 12 litres of vodka Red Bull should probably do it. 592 00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:48,643 Er, can I get a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and... 593 00:29:50,283 --> 00:29:53,002 - ...a rum and Coke, please? - This'll be Jakesy. 594 00:29:53,003 --> 00:29:55,002 He's probably gone to Poland by mistake. Hello? 595 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,842 - Kay. - Mr Lockhart! I'm just in a... 596 00:29:57,843 --> 00:29:59,482 Pint of gin, pint of gin! 597 00:29:59,483 --> 00:30:01,202 ..supermarket. 598 00:30:01,203 --> 00:30:03,482 Sorry, Mr Lockhart, how can I help? 599 00:30:03,483 --> 00:30:06,322 Er, listen, the locum registrar 600 00:30:06,323 --> 00:30:08,803 hasn't turned up for the night shift. 601 00:30:09,883 --> 00:30:12,162 Erm... Who's the senior reg? 602 00:30:12,163 --> 00:30:15,123 Er, I don't think he'd get here from Sydney in time. 603 00:30:16,243 --> 00:30:19,002 Well, do say if you've got something more important on. 604 00:30:19,003 --> 00:30:21,642 Erm, no. No, no, no. Erm... 605 00:30:21,643 --> 00:30:23,202 No, I can do it. 606 00:30:23,203 --> 00:30:24,963 Will the missus understand? 607 00:30:29,123 --> 00:30:31,643 - She'll be fine with it. - Good man. Bye! 608 00:30:38,643 --> 00:30:41,122 How long are you going to be? A couple of hours? 609 00:30:41,123 --> 00:30:43,923 - 12. I'm so sorry. - And there's no-one else who could...? 610 00:30:46,483 --> 00:30:49,003 I'm sorry. It's really crap for you. 611 00:30:52,483 --> 00:30:56,242 - You don't have to stay here, obviously. - I'll be grand. 612 00:30:56,243 --> 00:30:58,203 I've never had a... pint of gin before. 613 00:31:00,363 --> 00:31:02,802 Just a couple more years, then I'll be a consultant, 614 00:31:02,803 --> 00:31:05,202 and it'll just be me, you and an Aston Martin. 615 00:31:05,203 --> 00:31:08,362 It would be nice to live somewhere a bit more spacious. 616 00:31:08,363 --> 00:31:10,362 We can shower in the glove compartment. 617 00:31:10,363 --> 00:31:12,243 Right, go on. You've got some babies to deliver. 618 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:17,682 You should have gone along with my avalanche idea. 619 00:31:17,683 --> 00:31:20,442 OK, your first best-manly duty is to rescue my dad. 620 00:31:20,443 --> 00:31:23,362 Welly's trying to get him to drink a shoe full of sambuca. 621 00:31:23,363 --> 00:31:25,323 Shoe-ca! Shoe-ca! 622 00:31:27,403 --> 00:31:30,082 You're going to hate me. 623 00:31:30,083 --> 00:31:32,762 There's a... staffing emergency at the hospital. 624 00:31:32,763 --> 00:31:34,442 There's no doctors on labour ward. 625 00:31:34,443 --> 00:31:38,403 - No. - So I have to go back in. - Drink this. Then you can't go in. 626 00:31:40,123 --> 00:31:43,082 - I can't. - OK, give me one good reason. 627 00:31:43,083 --> 00:31:44,522 Er... 628 00:31:44,523 --> 00:31:47,563 - Er, because I, erm... - Because you'd rather be at work. 629 00:31:48,723 --> 00:31:50,443 Yeah, have a good night, mate. 630 00:31:58,443 --> 00:32:00,123 Fuck's sake! 631 00:32:44,523 --> 00:32:47,002 Do you want the good news or the bad news? 632 00:32:47,003 --> 00:32:49,442 - Erm, the good. - Oh, I was worried you'd say that. 633 00:32:49,443 --> 00:32:51,242 It's all bad, I'm afraid. 634 00:32:51,243 --> 00:32:53,002 The wards are stuffed to the gills, 635 00:32:53,003 --> 00:32:56,642 there's no SHO, and the midwife in charge is Tracy. 636 00:32:56,643 --> 00:32:58,802 - Well, she was working during the day. - The other one. 637 00:32:58,803 --> 00:33:02,002 "Non-Reassuring Trace." 638 00:33:02,003 --> 00:33:03,802 Right, I'm off home. But call me whenever. 639 00:33:03,803 --> 00:33:05,683 - I won't. - Good man. 640 00:33:07,563 --> 00:33:10,202 You're very intent on showing me your penis today. 641 00:33:10,203 --> 00:33:12,242 They need to increase the credits 642 00:33:12,243 --> 00:33:14,482 on the scrub machine. You can practically tell 643 00:33:14,483 --> 00:33:17,043 who did your circumcision. Made a right meal of it. 644 00:33:21,523 --> 00:33:23,283 Keep going. 645 00:33:29,443 --> 00:33:32,322 Hi, Trace. How can I help? Oh, Doctor, thank God you're here. 646 00:33:32,323 --> 00:33:34,322 Can you see Room 11 for me? 647 00:33:34,323 --> 00:33:36,802 I'm desperately worried about her. 648 00:33:36,803 --> 00:33:39,203 Quick as you can. 649 00:34:02,603 --> 00:34:04,563 Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. 650 00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:09,202 No, I didn't take a photo! It's someone else's baby! 651 00:34:09,203 --> 00:34:11,882 Yeah, I know, Mum said the exact same thing. 652 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,202 Actually, I'm not going to make it home this weekend, 653 00:34:14,203 --> 00:34:16,962 but, erm... 654 00:34:16,963 --> 00:34:20,602 Mm-hm. Yeah, erm, I love you, too. OK. Bye. 655 00:34:20,603 --> 00:34:21,962 Bye. 656 00:34:21,963 --> 00:34:23,922 What the hell are you still doing here? 657 00:34:23,923 --> 00:34:26,522 Don't you have a depressing flat to go back to? 658 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:28,802 The incident forms are longer than you think. 659 00:34:28,803 --> 00:34:30,442 Just go home. 660 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,962 I'll do yours when I do mine. 661 00:34:32,963 --> 00:34:35,083 - This is yours. - Oh, no way! 662 00:34:36,603 --> 00:34:39,362 I wouldn't break a sweat. Non-Reassuring-Tracey's on. 663 00:34:39,363 --> 00:34:41,203 The patient's probably farted. 664 00:34:47,563 --> 00:34:49,362 25 weeks. First baby. 665 00:34:49,363 --> 00:34:52,202 Blood pressure's through the roof. 666 00:34:52,203 --> 00:34:55,082 Grade one Caesarean section. 667 00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:56,922 Get anaesthetics round to theatres now. 668 00:34:56,923 --> 00:34:59,682 Tell paeds it's a 25-weeker with placental abruption. 669 00:34:59,683 --> 00:35:01,522 Severe pre-eclampsia. 670 00:35:01,523 --> 00:35:03,562 Turns out I probably shouldn't have sent her home. 671 00:35:03,563 --> 00:35:06,602 Erika, listen. I'm very worried about your baby. 672 00:35:06,603 --> 00:35:08,922 Placenta's coming away. I need to deliver you immediately 673 00:35:08,923 --> 00:35:10,722 to save baby's life. 674 00:35:10,723 --> 00:35:13,642 - It's too early! - I'm going to perform a Caesarean section. 675 00:35:13,643 --> 00:35:16,003 Do you understand? 676 00:35:18,963 --> 00:35:20,562 Do you want your consultant in? 677 00:35:20,563 --> 00:35:22,323 I've got this, thanks, Tracy. 678 00:35:23,403 --> 00:35:26,362 - Is my sister here? - We've called her, and she'll be here in time 679 00:35:26,363 --> 00:35:28,882 - to say hello to your baby. - Or goodbye. 680 00:35:28,883 --> 00:35:32,682 Why don't you count down from 20 for me? 681 00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:35,202 20, 19... 18... 682 00:35:35,203 --> 00:35:36,803 Come on. 683 00:35:38,443 --> 00:35:40,722 - Are you happy? - Ready when you are. 684 00:35:40,723 --> 00:35:43,602 - Adam, have you done a 25-week Caesarean before? - No. 685 00:35:43,603 --> 00:35:45,163 I've seen one. 686 00:35:57,403 --> 00:35:59,963 Pull. Quick. And retractor in. 687 00:36:47,403 --> 00:36:48,602 Adam? 688 00:36:48,603 --> 00:36:51,402 - Yeah, chest movement. - Adam? 689 00:36:51,403 --> 00:36:54,482 - Adam! - Er, sorry. Swabs, please. 690 00:36:54,483 --> 00:36:56,323 Let's start the suction. 691 00:37:03,403 --> 00:37:05,283 Oh, my God. 692 00:37:07,363 --> 00:37:09,362 Come on. Shit. 693 00:37:09,363 --> 00:37:12,162 Pressures aren't great here. What's the blood loss like? 694 00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:14,002 Er, it's a litre, a litre-and-a-half. 695 00:37:14,003 --> 00:37:16,122 Can you bleep the on-call haematologist? 696 00:37:16,123 --> 00:37:18,922 I'm going to need some more blood products. 697 00:37:18,923 --> 00:37:21,643 Find out who's the anaesthetic consultant. 698 00:37:22,843 --> 00:37:24,603 More swabs. 699 00:37:29,483 --> 00:37:31,882 I-I can't see anything. It's too thick to stitch. 700 00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:34,562 So much blood. Shit, I can't... 701 00:37:34,563 --> 00:37:36,402 I... I can't get it under... 702 00:37:36,403 --> 00:37:37,842 Fuck! 703 00:37:37,843 --> 00:37:41,002 This is insane. I can't... I can't see anything. Shit! 704 00:37:41,003 --> 00:37:42,602 - Fuck! - Adam... 705 00:37:42,603 --> 00:37:44,282 ...you can do this. 706 00:37:44,283 --> 00:37:45,843 I can't. I can't do this. 707 00:37:46,923 --> 00:37:49,482 This woman's going to die, and it's my fault. 708 00:37:49,483 --> 00:37:51,363 Shall we get Mr Lockhart in? 709 00:37:55,643 --> 00:37:58,602 - Yeah. Yeah, please. - Tracy, will you call Mr Lockhart 710 00:37:58,603 --> 00:38:00,122 and ask him to come in, please? 711 00:38:00,123 --> 00:38:03,203 - I called him before you started. - Why did you do that? I... 712 00:38:04,723 --> 00:38:06,203 Thank you. 713 00:38:55,923 --> 00:38:57,523 I'm really sorry. 714 00:39:04,123 --> 00:39:06,122 It was really busy, 715 00:39:06,123 --> 00:39:08,762 and I genuinely thought that she was crying wolf. 716 00:39:08,763 --> 00:39:11,842 She was crying severe early-onset pre-eclampsia, 717 00:39:11,843 --> 00:39:15,562 which you'd have known if you'd done so much as a blood test. 718 00:39:15,563 --> 00:39:18,162 And then, for some reason, you attempted an operation 719 00:39:18,163 --> 00:39:20,203 any consultant would struggle with. 720 00:39:21,683 --> 00:39:24,162 Oh, you can buy Tracy a box of chocolates, by the way, 721 00:39:24,163 --> 00:39:25,803 for calling me in. 722 00:39:29,003 --> 00:39:31,403 - Can I just say...? - No! 723 00:39:33,963 --> 00:39:39,243 Amend your entry from when you first saw this patient this afternoon. 724 00:39:41,083 --> 00:39:43,362 Write that you discussed with me over the phone, 725 00:39:43,363 --> 00:39:46,442 and that I advised you to send her home. 726 00:39:46,443 --> 00:39:48,362 What? 727 00:39:48,363 --> 00:39:50,522 No, you don't have to do that. 728 00:39:50,523 --> 00:39:52,603 Well, you didn't have to come in tonight. 729 00:39:55,323 --> 00:39:56,843 - I did. - Yeah, you did. 730 00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:12,762 Hi. Um... 731 00:40:12,763 --> 00:40:14,643 ..something to keep you going. 732 00:41:46,483 --> 00:41:50,323 Hi. I'm one of the obstetric, erm, registrars. 733 00:41:51,283 --> 00:41:53,602 Are you lost? 734 00:41:53,603 --> 00:41:55,642 Erm, I'm looking for... 735 00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:57,682 ..baby Van Hegan. The 25-weeker. 736 00:41:57,683 --> 00:42:00,563 Ah! Are you the one who, er...? 737 00:42:04,203 --> 00:42:07,243 Well, you're not going to knock over the incubator, are you? 738 00:42:08,563 --> 00:42:09,923 Bed 5. 739 00:42:38,523 --> 00:42:40,162 I'm really sorry. 740 00:42:40,163 --> 00:42:44,083 I was... really tired, and I just wanted to get home. 741 00:42:45,883 --> 00:42:48,523 And... this place is insane. 742 00:42:49,883 --> 00:42:51,682 And... 743 00:42:51,683 --> 00:42:53,202 ..I fucked up. 744 00:42:53,203 --> 00:42:55,402 I mucked up. 745 00:42:55,403 --> 00:42:57,682 Sorry. 746 00:42:57,683 --> 00:42:59,443 I tried my best. 747 00:43:03,123 --> 00:43:06,043 Just promise me you'll have a normal head scan. 748 00:43:24,883 --> 00:43:27,003 Enjoy your last night of pussy. 749 00:43:56,803 --> 00:43:59,843 ♪ I've been workin', baby ♪ 750 00:44:02,123 --> 00:44:04,163 ♪ For too long now ♪ 751 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:09,243 ♪ Just wanna get next to you, boy ♪ 752 00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:14,243 ♪ I've been searchin', baby ♪ 753 00:44:15,603 --> 00:44:18,563 ♪ A way to tell you how ♪ 754 00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:23,643 ♪ Gotta get through to you, boy ♪ 755 00:44:25,563 --> 00:44:29,522 ♪ Never said it was sunshine ♪ 756 00:44:29,523 --> 00:44:32,602 ♪ But you took it all of the time ♪ 757 00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:36,602 ♪ Never said it was sunshine ♪ 758 00:44:36,603 --> 00:44:39,563 ♪ But you took it all of the time ♪ 759 00:44:41,403 --> 00:44:43,443 ♪ All of the time ♪ 760 00:44:45,123 --> 00:44:47,603 ♪ All of the time ♪ 761 00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:50,922 ♪ All of the time ♪ 762 00:44:50,923 --> 00:44:53,483 ♪ You took it all of the time ♪ 763 00:45:09,163 --> 00:45:12,882 ♪ There's no escaping now ♪ 764 00:45:12,883 --> 00:45:15,923 ♪ Let me show you how ♪ 765 00:45:17,323 --> 00:45:20,963 ♪ What it feels to be true ♪ 766 00:45:51,563 --> 00:45:54,523 ♪ I've been workin', baby ♪ 767 00:45:56,763 --> 00:45:58,803 ♪ For too long now ♪ 768 00:46:00,043 --> 00:46:03,683 ♪ Just wanna get next to you, boy ♪ 769 00:46:05,843 --> 00:46:08,803 ♪ I've been searchin', baby ♪ 770 00:46:10,043 --> 00:46:12,763 ♪ A way to tell you how ♪ 771 00:46:14,323 --> 00:46:18,323 ♪ Gotta get through to you, boy ♪ 59473

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