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1
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,651
Please state
your name for the record.
2
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,653
- Stan Marsh.
3
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,556
And, uh, Mr. Marsh,
you were involved
4
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,858
in the streaming
wars, is that correct?
5
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,829
We made stuff for
streaming services, yes.
6
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:32,333
And how do you know the
defendant in this case?
7
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:36,170
She's the mother of
my f... acquaintance.
8
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,207
When you made your deals
for streaming services,
9
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:43,043
you sort of leveraged them
against each other, didn't you?
10
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,213
That is correct.
11
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,047
And now the streaming
bubble has burst
12
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:50,718
and your own father is in
hiding, isn't that correct?
13
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:52,945
My dad is missing,
that is correct.
14
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,823
What exactly was your
job in making these
15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,659
little Popsicle stick boats
for streaming services?
16
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:02,263
Um, my job was to
eat the Popsicles.
17
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,499
And the people who paid you
didn't care what you made?
18
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,611
Well, if you look at it, only
about a fourth of what's on
19
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,279
most streaming services
is really worth a shit,
20
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,571
so... Oh, sorry.
21
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,940
Do you know what an
exclusive deal is?
22
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,143
Yes, I know what an
exclusive deal is.
23
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:18,179
So, if you make an exclusive
deal with a streaming service,
24
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,780
you can't make an exclusive deal
25
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,549
with another streaming
service, can you?
26
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,560
It's not our fault that the
streaming wars happened!
27
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,419
So, then why not just
give back the money?
28
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,255
- We can't!
- Why not?!
29
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,224
'Cause the money is all
in Cartman's fucking tits!
30
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,798
Ms. Cartman, you and
your son live in a hot dog,
31
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:38,932
is that correct?
32
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,169
Yes, Eric, you know
that's correct.
33
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,670
And your son wanted you
34
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,210
to get fake tits so
that the rich guy
35
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,715
across the street would
let you live with him
36
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,241
but you refused, is that right?
37
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,942
That's right.
38
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,445
So when I said, "If you
don't get fake tits I will,"
39
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:52,946
you just told me to go ahead.
40
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,350
Yes, because I'm sick of
you doing extreme things
41
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,685
to get your way.
42
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,787
So you refused even though tons
43
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,555
of women get fake
breasts all the time.
44
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,457
Your Honor, I'd like to
introduce Exhibit D...
45
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,626
Tons of women with fake tits.
46
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,098
Tom, I'm standing outside the
courthouse where the judge
47
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,635
has just thrown out the
Cartman v. Cartman case.
48
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,605
The judge said, quote, "You're
all a bunch of shitheads.
49
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,173
Get out of my courtroom."
50
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,808
Just proof once again, Tom,
51
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:24,712
that streaming services
have made everything suck.
52
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:15,062
'Kay, Mom, well, I hope
you learned your lesson.
53
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,864
So, maybe now, will
you get fake tits
54
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,899
so I can get these
stupid things out?
55
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,235
No, Eric! No!
56
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,274
Can I get a Frosty?
57
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,849
- Oh, shit, it's Karen!
- What?
58
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,753
Come on. Go, kids, go.
59
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:20,227
What... what happened?
60
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:25,165
- Wow, it's the real thing.
- We gotta go!
61
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:33,307
There! You see?
Karen is right there!
62
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,777
Okay, okay, everyone
back... Just stay back!
63
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:40,147
All right, Karen. We
don't want any trouble.
64
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,149
Huh?
65
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:46,053
It doesn't have to be like this,
Karen. Let us get you some help.
66
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:49,823
Can-can someone please
tell me what's going on?
67
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,992
Is there, like, a manager
I can speak to somew...
68
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,398
Karen's clear!
69
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,932
Move in!
70
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,647
Just relax.
71
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,817
I need to know what
you remember, Karen.
72
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,987
I started a streaming service...
73
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,190
to compete with the weed
farm across the street.
74
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,792
And some guy died.
75
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,394
That's right.
76
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:29,997
Do you know where the owner
of Credigree Weed is now?
77
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,198
No.
78
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,501
The steaming wars
got out of hand.
79
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,102
Your rival here somehow got
80
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,038
ManBearPig to work for him
and murder the competition.
81
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:42,510
You... went down to the Colorado
State Water Commission's office.
82
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,578
You asked to speak
with the manager.
83
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,914
And then you went
full nuclear Karen.
84
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,850
Full nuclear Karen?
85
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,986
You went
ballistic on everybody.
86
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,089
Okay...
- Call the cops, goddamn it, if you don't like me over here.
87
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,709
- Fucking call 'em!
Okay. Karen.
88
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,059
Motherfucker!
89
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,999
- Go back to Mexico.
Listen. I said...
90
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,162
I said "excuse me."
91
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,164
Go. Go back wherever
you're from!
92
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,424
You traveled all over
the state and demanded to
93
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,378
- see everyone's managers.
- He's the one... he's the one that went off.
94
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,203
Oh, God...
95
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,781
- I don't have a right to be here?!
- Outside the State office
96
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,507
in Denver, you caused
a 20-car pileup.
97
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,752
- Huh?! Call a manager now!
- Five people were severely injured.
98
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,746
And then you
attacked the airport.
99
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:22,783
I want the manager of
the fucking airport here!
100
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,185
Who's tellin' me
to...
101
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,121
I want the manager
of the airport here!
102
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,058
And then the same thing
happened in Madrid.
103
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,928
Who is the manager of
this fucking shithole?!
104
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,630
In Bangladesh...
105
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,899
And in the mountains of Tibet.
106
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,168
And I'm sorry, Karen, but...
107
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,704
I'm afraid all of
this has become
108
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,540
the most watched
videos on YouTube.
109
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,141
No.
110
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:07,888
Tolkien...
111
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,023
What are you doing here?
112
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,292
I'm looking for
something, all right?
113
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,862
- Looking for what?
- Anything.
114
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,931
I don't know! People are saying
that my dad caused all this.
115
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,833
That he's hiding because
he knows he's guilty.
116
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,535
I know that's not true.
117
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,013
What does that have to
do with the rich guy
118
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,472
who lived here moving away?
119
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,476
The guy who lived here didn't
move away. He was killed.
120
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,546
What?
121
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,915
I know that my dad
wouldn't just run and hide!
122
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,617
What if he needs me right now?
123
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,420
Tolkien, I wanted the guy
who lived here to be my dad.
124
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,956
Who would have killed him?
125
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,073
Okay, I'm done.
126
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,785
All right, then put
your plate in the sink
127
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,310
and march right on upstairs!
128
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,679
Maybe the next time you decide
to pit streaming services
129
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,248
against each other and cause
a drought, you'll think twice.
130
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:11,919
I want no playing, no reading
and no thinking about fun stuff.
131
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,821
You are being grounded.
132
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,166
It's not my fault streaming
services paid people more
133
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,860
than was sustainable
in any business model.
134
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,061
- Butters.
135
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,462
Shh! Butters, stop.
136
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,598
Eric! You can't be in
here, I'm grounded.
137
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,933
We've been set up, Butters.
138
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,635
- What?
- The whole streaming wars!
139
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:28,802
The whole thing was a lie!
140
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,303
Eric, is that a real gun?
141
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,215
Fuck yes, it's a real gun.
Butters, listen to me.
142
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,041
Someone bought up all the water
143
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,776
and murdered anyone
who got in their way.
144
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,577
- No...
- Yes, Butters.
145
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,678
Someone worked with the
Colorado water commissioner
146
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,514
and cheated the
system. The same person
147
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,817
who is now using climate
change to make a profit!
148
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,218
Who?
149
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,920
It didn't make sense to me.
150
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,856
Why my mom was
being so stubborn.
151
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,490
Why she wouldn't
do what I asked.
152
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,592
But then I saw Tolkien
across the street
153
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,561
and I figured it out...
154
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,830
Tolkien is fucking my mom.
155
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,866
Tolkien?!
156
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,400
I wanted my mom to get fake tits
157
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,411
so she could marry the
rich guy across the street.
158
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,571
Now that guy is dead and
my mom is acting strange.
159
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,840
The only explanation is
that she's fucking Tolkien
160
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,375
and they don't want me to know!
161
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,595
But, Eric, Tolkien was making
the boats with us, he...
162
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,612
Butters, Butters.
My eyes are up here.
163
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,814
Stop staring at my tits.
164
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,215
Oh, sorry.
165
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,726
There's a bad guy out
there getting away
166
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:20,020
with murder, Butters.
And we have to catch him.
167
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,525
Good people of Denver,
168
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,061
we are living through
a horrible time.
169
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,765
This drought, i-it
affect everybody.
170
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,634
It affect me. My waterpark.
171
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:40,908
But I have a plan to not
only reopen my waterpark,
172
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:45,445
but also help all of Colorado
with their water supply problem.
173
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:50,283
So, if you don't mind, I'd
like to show you my deck.
174
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,320
- - Oh, Christ.
- No.
175
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,923
This is the business
proposal deck
176
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,625
for the Pipi streaming service!
177
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,260
- Oh...
- Oh, that's okay.
178
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,131
In just a few days I
will reopen my waterpark
179
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:08,535
which will now run on 100% pee!
180
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:13,106
And then we can collect
half of the pee every day
181
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,743
and send it out to
the people of Denver
182
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:19,279
and all over Colorado
for their daily use.
183
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,349
I'm sorry, Mr. Pipi,
184
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,985
but I really don't think we'll
be able to get people to invest
185
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,954
in your streaming service.
186
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,621
No, no, no, it's okay!
187
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:32,192
Because I got the
biggest celebrities
188
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,227
who made a commerci for crypto
189
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,130
to make the commerci for me!
190
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,401
We are living in
a severe drought.
191
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,670
There simply isn't
a choice anymore,
192
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,573
we have to find alternate
sources for water.
193
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,076
Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
194
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,686
You've heard me talk
about the wonders of
195
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,113
cryptocurrency, and
now there's a company
196
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,682
who can give us that new source.
197
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,184
Pipi water.
198
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,753
Pee can be used for
almost anything.
199
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,288
We can water our lawns with it.
200
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,491
We can also use urine
for our shower water.
201
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,828
Fortune favors the brave.
202
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,262
And a brave person knows
203
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,465
that pasta cooked in pee
water tastes just fine.
204
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,439
Okay, hold on.
205
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,043
: Fortune
favors the brave.
206
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:28,715
Did you know frozen pee can make
for a delicious summer treat?
207
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,554
Okay.
208
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,491
Fortune favors the brave.
209
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,928
And pee water actually
pairs really well
210
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:42,695
with an Impossible Burger.
211
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,004
: Fortune...
212
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,639
: Fortune
favors the brave.
213
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,476
Fortune favors the br...
214
00:12:58,678 --> 00:12:59,980
Go pee!
215
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,315
With Pipi+.
216
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,260
for water.
217
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,953
- Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
- Dad?
218
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,655
You've heard me talk about
the wonders of cryptocurrency,
219
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:12,259
and now there's a company who
can give us that new source.
220
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,927
Pipi water.
221
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,939
- You okay?
- Pee can be used for almost anything.
222
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,307
- What have I become, Stan?
- We can water our lawns with it.
223
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,343
- How did I just sit by and let the world sink to this?
- We can also use urine
224
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,202
for our shower water.
225
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:34,814
I used to be a scientist.
Do you remember that?
226
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,919
I was the one who warned
the town about a volcano.
227
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,555
I warned them about
the day after tomorrow.
228
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:47,327
And then... it all
become about weed.
229
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,263
When did that happen, Stan?
230
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,765
I guess we all just
got greedy, Dad.
231
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,202
I wanted to be a
scientist because
232
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,905
scientists solve problems.
233
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,008
Do you even know what kind
of geologist I was, Stan?
234
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,309
No.
235
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,545
I was a "fluvial
geomorphologist."
236
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:10,017
Someone who studies the
changes in streams and rivers.
237
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,685
And when the town
needed me most...
238
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,488
I was just out bitching
because all I cared about
239
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,557
was getting high and rich.
240
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,627
I can't even
remember the old me.
241
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,464
All right,
I've got eyes on him.
242
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,799
Looks like he's in
the basement bathroom.
243
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,402
I didn't even know
Tolkien had a basement bathroom.
244
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,538
Yeah, neither
did I. Sneaky bastard.
245
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,373
Seems like he's
looking for something.
246
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,975
Oh, nope, he's
turning back around.
247
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,744
He's pulling down his pants.
248
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,646
Oh, I think he's
gonna take a shit.
249
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,715
Mark down: "8:35,
started taking shit."
250
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,257
What the fuck are you doing?
251
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,460
- Oh, shit. Go, go, go.
252
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,965
Hello?! Where are...
Eric, I can see you!
253
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,301
There's no way he can see us.
254
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,802
Just stay still.
255
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,672
I see you behind
the fucking tree!
256
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,042
Don't come another step
closer or I shoot Butters.
257
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,210
What?!
258
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,944
Let's go. Move. Move!
259
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,348
Do you wanna tell me
what's going on, Tolkien?
260
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,550
- I have no idea!
- Sure!
261
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,362
We're all supposed to believe
that streaming services
262
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,653
were all our fault.
263
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,165
I remember that day
at school, Tolkien.
264
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,191
You were the one who said
I should build the boats.
265
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,858
Because I felt bad for you!
266
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,360
You felt bad for me?
267
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,338
Or maybe is it that you wanted
the drought to... Butters,
268
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,064
will you please stop
staring at my tits.
269
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,865
I'm sorry.
270
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,667
We've been doing
research, Tolkien.
271
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,403
Somebody manipulated the system.
272
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,271
All the water
rights, water laws,
273
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,706
there's a big
chain of corruption
274
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,050
and the whole thing
stinks like your wiener
275
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,775
after fucking my mom.
276
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,878
Eric, I swear, I have no clue
what you're talking about.
277
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,046
Then read it.
278
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,551
Read about how none of the
streaming services had any
279
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,396
chance of lasting but paid out
thousands of dollars anyway.
280
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,788
Read about how the water
commissioner of Colorado
281
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,557
knew about it the entire time!
282
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,759
Eric, where did you get this?
283
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,528
Tolkien, my eyes are up here,
284
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,230
please stop staring
at my titties.
285
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,031
I am staring you
dead in the eye.
286
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,766
Where did you get this?
287
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,969
Hi. I'm Gwyneth Paltrow.
288
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,106
I got women everywhere excited
about investing in crypto.
289
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,609
And now there's something
even better to invest in.
290
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:02,415
Uh... uh... um...
291
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,985
Fortune favors the brave.
Fortune favors the brave.
292
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,292
Go pee!
293
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,494
With Pipi+.
294
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,566
My fellow Coloradoans,
295
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,534
today we will try to put an end
296
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,836
to the drought that
has crippled our state.
297
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,607
It's my pleasure to announce
that the city of Denver
298
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:31,578
will be investing heavily in
the Pipi streaming service.
299
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:35,114
And we encourage
you all to "Go pee."
300
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,320
Oh, thank you!
Thank you, Denver!
301
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:45,292
It is a my honor to give you
all of the pee that I can.
302
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:49,562
And so, as of today,
we are all going
303
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,064
- to live in...
Wait!
304
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,235
Hold on!
305
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,804
- Who is that?
- Excuse me!
306
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,707
Please, I have to
get to the front!
307
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,842
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
everyone, please.
308
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,420
- Please, I have an announcement.
309
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:08,215
Everyone, my name
is Dr. Randy Marsh
310
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,049
and I am...
311
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,485
- a scientist!
312
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,523
The damage that has been
done to our fresh water
313
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,260
due to the streaming wars
is irreversible, yes.
314
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,762
But I believe I have a plan.
315
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,631
And if you don't mind,
316
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:28,034
I'd like to show my deck to
each and every one of you.
317
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,137
Whip it out, bro!
318
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,673
The answer...
319
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:37,109
is an ocean water
desalinization plant.
320
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,912
When all of you hear about
droughts in our country,
321
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,350
don't you ever think, "Wait,
the Earth is 75% water.
322
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,419
What the fuck? How can we not
have enough water, right?"
323
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,389
The only thing
stopping us from not
324
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:53,192
being able to use seawater
for our daily use is the salt.
325
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,562
I have a plan to pipe the water
326
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,530
from the oceans up to
the Continental Divide.
327
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,999
From there, we separate
the salt from the water,
328
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:04,437
giving our entire country
enough clean water forever.
329
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:09,476
And we ship the salt off to
Arby's and KFC where it belongs.
330
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:16,683
Dr. Marsh, you have all
the funding you need.
331
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,419
Randy Marsh has the better deck!
332
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,399
Ever since
I can remember,
333
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,634
I've wanted two things.
334
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,004
My own waterpark and
to only have to pay
335
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:42,842
for one streaming service.
And what I didn't know...
336
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,512
was that my own employees
337
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:48,080
would try to fuck me!
338
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,083
And fucking ruin my life!
339
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:54,821
Who is this guy talking about
a desalinization plant?!
340
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,023
How did we miss him?!
341
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,126
He's just some scientist,
h-he came out of nowhere.
342
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:04,531
I asked you to take care of
anybody who might get in my way!
343
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,566
I just wanna be a lifeguard.
344
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,468
"I just wanna be a lifeguard."
345
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,903
You just wanna fuck Pipi!
346
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,773
You're all a bunch of
stinky poopy babies!
347
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,410
All of you! You
little pussy bitches!
348
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:20,513
Oh, you don't like that, huh?
349
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,615
I told you, I told
you kill anyone
350
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,275
in the mountains who
could be a problem!
351
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:27,987
You a little ManBear-bitch,
that's what you are!
352
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,591
You wanna fuck with Pipi, huh?
353
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,460
Don't forget what I have on you.
354
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,261
Sit down, ManBearBitchy!
355
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,800
I want that
desalinization plant gone
356
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,936
and I want the scientist dead!
357
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,773
There can only be one
streaming service.
358
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:50,042
And it's going to be Pipi+!
359
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,354
It was 8:15
on Thursday night.
360
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:03,890
The people were all excited
about the possibility
361
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,958
of a new desalinization plant.
362
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:09,228
But I had a lingering
uneasiness in my gut.
363
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:12,164
And then, just like that,
in walked the nicest pair
364
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:15,802
of knockers I'd ever
seen in my life.
365
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,408
Detective, we need
to talk to you.
366
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,309
Aw, fuck, not you again.
367
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,578
Get out of here kid, I'm not
going to arrest your mom.
368
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,118
You might think differently when
you hear what we have to say.
369
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:30,149
- Go ahead, Tolkien.
- Sir,
370
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,051
we think the person who
killed Robert Cussler
371
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:35,221
actually had a bigger plan:
to make the drought happen.
372
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:38,157
Your father killed
Robert Cussler.
373
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,493
And what makes you think
he had a bigger plan?
374
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,863
Wait a minute. Did he tell
you his business plan?
375
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,998
Did he show you his deck?!
376
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:47,199
No.
377
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,368
My uncle Larry showed
me his dick once.
378
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,971
My dad isn't capable
of killing anyone.
379
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:53,540
Well, I'm sure that's true.
380
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,376
And that's why your father
had ManBearPig do it for him.
381
00:22:57,477 --> 00:23:00,346
You see, your dad used
ManBearPig to get rid
382
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,149
of the competition in
the streaming wars.
383
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,484
Butters, please.
384
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:06,819
And ManBearPig will
just go right on doing
385
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:09,922
whatever Tolkien's father
says because he's afraid.
386
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,125
ManBearPig is afraid? Of what?
387
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:18,531
Afraid for the safety...
of its wife and child.
388
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:23,536
Not many people know about
PigBearGirl and Chuck Chuck,
389
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:26,205
but your father must have
threatened ManBearPig
390
00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:28,340
that he would tell
people they exist.
391
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:32,211
And if everyone knew that
climate change had a child,
392
00:23:32,311 --> 00:23:33,980
they'd go after it.
393
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,616
Okay, whatever, but
you have no proof
394
00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:38,317
that it was my dad
who did anything.
395
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,086
Don't I?
396
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,556
I happen to know for a
fact that while the rest
397
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,257
of the state is suffering,
398
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:47,026
your dad has been
out living it up.
399
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:48,861
Surveillance camera
caught him enjoying
400
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,897
his time at a waterpark.
401
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:56,302
The waterpark.
402
00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:00,740
Hello, I'm Larry David.
403
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,775
When I made my Superbowl
commercial for crypto,
404
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,877
I didn't even really
know what it was!
405
00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:06,946
But thanks to the money
I made, I now can enjoy
406
00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:09,716
my favorite beverage every day!
407
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,591
Go pee!
408
00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:20,459
With Pipi+.
409
00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:42,882
: Hello?
410
00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:45,852
Where the fuck am I?
411
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:55,461
Hello?!
412
00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:07,339
Well, I don't know, but
it needs to be a-fixed, okay?
413
00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:09,976
Maybe we have some
kind of intruder, huh,
414
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:12,311
that's doing the
sabotage, you know!
415
00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:13,846
We looked
everywhere, sir.
416
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:15,381
We didn't find anything.
417
00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:17,684
Well, look
harder, you stupid fuck!
418
00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:20,086
Something going on down here!
419
00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:37,269
Who are you? Did
you bandage me up?
420
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:40,372
Chuck Chuck!
421
00:25:42,108 --> 00:25:43,251
Come on!
Something's happened
422
00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:45,011
to the outtake valves again!
423
00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,857
Okay, that's great, guys.
424
00:25:57,957 --> 00:26:00,126
Keep the pipe on
the downward slope.
425
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:02,862
- How's it all going?
- Oh, thanks, honey.
426
00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:04,496
It's good. Fast.
427
00:26:04,597 --> 00:26:06,357
I think we can have this
thing up and running
428
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:08,868
- for tests in a week.
- That's amazing.
429
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:11,303
You're not so bad
yourself, babe.
430
00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:14,674
Oh, and hey, Sharon?
431
00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:18,010
Sorry about the
whole "weed thing."
432
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:20,346
It's okay, Randy.
433
00:26:23,215 --> 00:26:25,117
All right, Nelson, I've
updated the engineering.
434
00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:26,919
I've accounted for the elevation
435
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,155
but I still can't
figure out the pipeline.
436
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,624
The problem is actually
getting enough pressure
437
00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:34,193
to get the saltwater
up here to the plant.
438
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:36,262
It almost seems impossible.
439
00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:37,730
I don't know how
you get saltwater
440
00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,999
up here without a
tremendous amount of energy.
441
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,600
Yeah, well, let's
just keep working.
442
00:26:41,701 --> 00:26:43,069
There has to be an answer.
443
00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:45,337
Science always has an answer.
444
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,974
Randy, it's good
to have you back
445
00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:49,842
at the U.S. Geological Survey.
446
00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:51,343
Thanks, Nelson.
447
00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:53,545
Oh, and hey, Nelson?
448
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,816
Sorry about the
whole "weed thing."
449
00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,918
That's okay, Randy.
450
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,027
Hi, my name is Naomi Osaka.
451
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:10,830
And I enjoy crypto
just like I enjoy
452
00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,666
fresh piss on my organic greens.
453
00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:19,305
Fortune favors the brave.
454
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:22,074
- Fortune favors the brave.
- Fortune favors the brave.
455
00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,243
Fortune favors the brave.
456
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:29,916
Go pee!
457
00:27:30,016 --> 00:27:31,450
With Pipi+.
458
00:27:38,024 --> 00:27:40,159
Welcome to Pipi's Waterpark!
459
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:43,662
Where the thrills and
fun are all 100% urine.
460
00:27:43,763 --> 00:27:46,565
We hope you have a magical
day and if you need to
461
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:50,402
use the restroom, just let it
go in one of our many pools.
462
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,438
Your pee will be
collected and harvested
463
00:27:52,538 --> 00:27:55,808
for Denver's water
supply. Go pee, Colorado.
464
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,846
Boy, oh boy, what a
great day for a swim!
465
00:27:59,946 --> 00:28:02,982
Can't wait to hit
that fresh pool!
466
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:05,985
Blackhawk, this is
Browneye. I am in position.
467
00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:09,355
Copy, Butters. Do you see
the slide we're looking for?
468
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:12,725
That's a negative,
Blackhawk. Got nothin' here.
469
00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:14,961
What about over by the
funnel cakes, Eric?
470
00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:19,065
I don't see the
slide that matches
471
00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:20,532
the one in the picture, Tolkien.
472
00:28:20,632 --> 00:28:22,869
I'm afraid this could
be a dead end, guys.
473
00:28:22,969 --> 00:28:24,937
- Wait. Oh, my God.
- What?
474
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:27,774
There's a guy here who's just
totally staring at my tits.
475
00:28:27,874 --> 00:28:30,309
Hey, do you mind, sir?
My eyes are up here.
476
00:28:30,409 --> 00:28:32,154
Eric, we're trying not to
draw attention to oursel...
477
00:28:32,178 --> 00:28:34,146
Stop looking at my
tits! Yes, you are!
478
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:35,647
Eric, do you...
479
00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,292
These people are all
staring at my fucking tits!
480
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:38,717
They're such perverts!
481
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:41,420
Little boy, we're just a
bit shocked to see that.
482
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,990
Yeah, 'cause you're on the itty
bitty titty committee, bitch!
483
00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:46,492
Just focus on the
fucking plan, Eric!
484
00:28:47,293 --> 00:28:48,804
Hey, fellas,
I think I got it!
485
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:51,764
I found the slide where
the photo was taken!
486
00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:55,401
And there's some kind of bunker
entrance right next to it.
487
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:15,855
Hello, ma'am. I'm sorry
488
00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:19,291
but I need to speak with
you about your husband.
489
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:22,628
- Is he dead?
- Not yet.
490
00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:26,598
But he will be as soon as I
can find him. Can I come in?
491
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,735
Your husband is a
very dangerous man.
492
00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:33,239
We now believe that he caused
the whole drought to happen.
493
00:29:33,339 --> 00:29:35,774
- Do you mind?
- Yes.
494
00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:37,243
Great.
495
00:29:37,343 --> 00:29:39,979
Now, obviously, your
husband had some kind
496
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:41,780
of bigger business plan.
497
00:29:42,548 --> 00:29:44,516
He might have it all
explained somewhere.
498
00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:46,518
Does your husband have a deck?
499
00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:49,321
Of course my husband has a dick.
500
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:51,757
Well, I'd like to see it,
if that's okay with you.
501
00:29:51,858 --> 00:29:54,593
How am I supposed to show
you when I don't even know
502
00:29:54,693 --> 00:29:56,628
- where he is?
- All right. If you want to
503
00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:58,497
be difficult,
ma'am, that's fine.
504
00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,933
But you know where
your husband is
505
00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:02,634
and so does your little boy.
506
00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:04,570
I'm sure that you've
both seen his deck
507
00:30:04,670 --> 00:30:06,605
and I'm sure it's
pretty massive.
508
00:30:06,705 --> 00:30:09,475
Detective, my husband
is a good man.
509
00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:11,577
Well, I'm sure he
was at one point.
510
00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:13,779
But then he started
a streaming service
511
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,115
and became the monster
that he is today.
512
00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:18,817
Okay, well, I think
you should leave now.
513
00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:20,452
All right, fine.
514
00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:23,422
But just so you know, when
I find your husband...
515
00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:26,525
And I will find him...
I'm gonna shoot him.
516
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:29,628
And then I'll check
out his deck later.
517
00:30:39,972 --> 00:30:41,207
This must be where all the pee
518
00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:43,175
is collected for Pipi's
streaming service.
519
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,477
Sure is a lot of pee!
520
00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:47,798
This place is massive.
They had to have
521
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,615
been working on this
place for years!
522
00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:51,417
Yeah, looks like someone
has been planning
523
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:53,419
on fucking my mom
for a long time!
524
00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:56,422
Everyone spread out and
see what you can find.
525
00:30:58,324 --> 00:30:59,926
What exactly are we looking for?
526
00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:03,029
Documents, contracts, condoms,
whatever you can find.
527
00:31:03,129 --> 00:31:05,297
Get a picture of
anything unusual.
528
00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:07,033
People would be very
interested to see
529
00:31:07,133 --> 00:31:08,567
how far along this all is.
530
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:11,803
Hey, there's some little
brown chocolates on the floor.
531
00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:18,144
Chunk!
532
00:31:20,579 --> 00:31:21,579
Whoa!
533
00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:30,389
It's okay. It's okay.
We're not gonna hurt you.
534
00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,292
: Chuck Chuck?
535
00:31:35,027 --> 00:31:36,462
The fuck is that?
536
00:31:36,562 --> 00:31:37,896
What are you doing down here?
537
00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:39,498
Are you lost?
538
00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:42,201
Chuck Chuck.
539
00:31:43,769 --> 00:31:46,438
You guys, seriously,
the fuck is that?
540
00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:49,175
It's like a little bear pig...
541
00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:53,879
They don't know you're
down here, do they?
542
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:56,315
Chuck Chuck.
543
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:58,884
Hey, stop right there!
544
00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:14,166
Yeah, we did it! We did it!
545
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,667
Tell the boss we caught 'em!
546
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,403
We finally caught
the little buggers
547
00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:19,905
that've been messing with
the equipment down here.
548
00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:25,077
I'm Reese Witherspoon.
549
00:32:25,177 --> 00:32:26,678
I think crypto is a great idea
550
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:29,415
but there's one investment
that's even smarter.
551
00:32:29,515 --> 00:32:32,318
That's why when my family is
enjoying festive party games,
552
00:32:32,418 --> 00:32:34,353
we do it in pee.
553
00:32:49,701 --> 00:32:51,037
Go pee!
554
00:32:51,137 --> 00:32:52,971
With Pipi+.
555
00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,813
Oh, hey, honey.
556
00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:03,582
- Any luck?
- No.
557
00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:06,285
The plant is almost ready to
go and I still can't figure out
558
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:08,254
how to get the saltwater to it.
559
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:10,722
The elevations are
just too extreme.
560
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:12,458
Hey, what are the kids doing?
561
00:33:12,558 --> 00:33:14,860
Mm, they're just in
their rooms, hanging out.
562
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,328
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
563
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:18,388
How about we round them
up and go take a nice walk
564
00:33:18,430 --> 00:33:19,865
- or something.
- You sure?
565
00:33:19,965 --> 00:33:22,768
Yeah, I need a break and
they need a dad. Come on.
566
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:26,672
Oh, hang on a
second, it's Nelson.
567
00:33:26,772 --> 00:33:28,374
Hey, Nelson! How's
it going up there?
568
00:33:28,474 --> 00:33:30,976
Randy! Randy!
569
00:33:31,077 --> 00:33:32,744
The plant!
570
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,113
It's all wrecked!
571
00:33:34,213 --> 00:33:35,314
What are you talking about?
572
00:33:35,414 --> 00:33:37,483
It was climate change, Randy!
573
00:33:37,583 --> 00:33:39,451
It ripped apart the
watershed and took
574
00:33:39,551 --> 00:33:41,687
a huge shit in the
conversion tanks!
575
00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:42,988
No.
576
00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:44,723
It just started
tearing through people.
577
00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:48,827
But, Randy, it seemed like
it was looking for something.
578
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:52,164
I'm scared it might have
been looking for you.
579
00:33:57,169 --> 00:33:58,970
Randy, what's going on?
580
00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:01,473
What's going on, Dad?
581
00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:03,709
Take the kids to the
basement and lock the door.
582
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,145
Randy, what are we...
583
00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:08,714
Just do it, baby, please!
584
00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:18,124
Randy, I'm not gonna hurt you.
585
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:20,692
What the fuck are
you doing here?!
586
00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:23,462
I need your help, Randy.
I can't go to the police.
587
00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,497
Yeah, no shit, 'cause
you're a murderer!
588
00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:27,333
I didn't kill anyone!
589
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:29,335
Look, I know we've
had our differences.
590
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:31,370
But I need you to
trust me right now.
591
00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:33,605
I don't care about
Credigree Weed anymore.
592
00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:35,307
I just want to fix the drought.
593
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,309
You're not going
to fix it because
594
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,178
Pipi controls everything!
595
00:34:39,278 --> 00:34:40,612
Pipi?
596
00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:42,548
He used the water
commissioner to get us
597
00:34:42,648 --> 00:34:44,750
to start our streaming
war against each other.
598
00:34:46,152 --> 00:34:47,219
No.
599
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:48,854
He used us, Randy.
600
00:34:48,954 --> 00:34:51,133
Pipi tried to have me killed
but some little beaver thing
601
00:34:51,157 --> 00:34:52,524
saved me. Please.
602
00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:54,001
My wife said Tolkien
and his friends
603
00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:55,561
went to look for me
at the waterpark.
604
00:34:55,661 --> 00:34:58,130
Credigree and Tegridy
have to work together.
605
00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:02,601
Tegridy took over my life
606
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:05,337
and completely
ruined my character.
607
00:35:05,437 --> 00:35:06,905
Don't you get it?
608
00:35:07,005 --> 00:35:10,442
We aren't the ones who are
ever gonna help anything.
609
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:14,413
We're the ones who
make everything worse.
610
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:23,189
It's no use, we
can't hack through the bars.
611
00:35:23,289 --> 00:35:27,092
Hey. Hey there.
612
00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:32,498
: Chuck Chuck.
613
00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:34,500
Hey.
614
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,368
Are you down here
looking for your dad?
615
00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:38,237
I'm looking for my dad, too.
616
00:35:38,337 --> 00:35:40,439
Oh, God, that's so cheesy.
617
00:35:42,007 --> 00:35:44,142
You don't have to
be afraid of people.
618
00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:45,411
I can tell you why.
619
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:54,186
Chuck Chuck.
620
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,755
Yes. Good, Tolkien, I
think you're starting
621
00:35:56,855 --> 00:35:59,024
- to reason with it.
622
00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:02,927
So!
623
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,530
You're the little "sabotagis"
624
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,332
that's been messing
with my stuff, huh?
625
00:36:06,432 --> 00:36:09,601
Uh, no, we actually just
got here recently, sir.
626
00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:12,538
- Where is my dad?
- Your dad?
627
00:36:12,638 --> 00:36:14,273
- Oh...
628
00:36:14,373 --> 00:36:17,643
You the boys that make-a
the little boats-a. No?
629
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:20,512
Oh, you help Pipi so much!
630
00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:23,482
You probably made a
lot of money, huh?
631
00:36:24,483 --> 00:36:25,917
We didn't know
what we were doing.
632
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,887
: Yeah,
well, who does, huh?
633
00:36:28,987 --> 00:36:31,490
That's doing
business in America.
634
00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,091
You just get in,
635
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:36,295
fuck everything up, pay
people money you don't have,
636
00:36:36,395 --> 00:36:39,698
and try to get a big
market evaluation, yes?
637
00:36:39,798 --> 00:36:41,066
So you sped up climate change
638
00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:43,001
and then you fucked
my mom, is that it?
639
00:36:43,969 --> 00:36:44,703
Scusi?
640
00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:46,305
No, see, what he did was
641
00:36:46,405 --> 00:36:47,565
he paid people too much money
642
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:49,079
while actually
devaluing the artists,
643
00:36:49,174 --> 00:36:51,185
creating a streaming business
that was driving content
644
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,011
instead of content
driving the business.
645
00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:55,914
So now he's got a huge company
but all he's delivering is piss.
646
00:36:56,014 --> 00:36:58,617
And now I'm about to have
the only streaming service
647
00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:00,151
in the world.
648
00:37:00,252 --> 00:37:03,922
You see, I have all
the celebrities here.
649
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:08,860
Everybody to be in one big
final commerci together!
650
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,996
And when that commerci goes out,
651
00:37:11,096 --> 00:37:14,099
everybody gonna want
to invest in Pipi.
652
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:17,969
And you boys, well... I'm
afraid you might meet up
653
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:20,606
with a little accidente, eh?
654
00:37:20,706 --> 00:37:22,941
The pee-pee gonna come down
655
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:26,211
and it gonna wash you
boys away down a drain-ee.
656
00:37:26,312 --> 00:37:29,981
Come on! We gotta
make-a the commerci!
657
00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:44,696
I'm sorry, guys. I got played.
658
00:37:44,796 --> 00:37:46,498
We all got played, Dad.
659
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:48,133
The whole state.
660
00:37:48,233 --> 00:37:51,770
I really thought I could
make a difference this time.
661
00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:54,940
Well, you can't, Randy.
662
00:37:56,041 --> 00:37:58,477
But there is someone who can.
663
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,680
Somebody who can go
down to that waterpark
664
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,915
and demand to be heard.
665
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:07,118
We need Karen back, Dad.
666
00:38:07,218 --> 00:38:08,454
What?
667
00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:10,422
No. No!
668
00:38:10,522 --> 00:38:11,923
You have to, Dad.
669
00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:13,768
Karen is the only one
that can get past security
670
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:15,494
and insist to see
the management.
671
00:38:15,594 --> 00:38:18,229
Karen is gone. Okay?
672
00:38:19,331 --> 00:38:21,299
I'm never going back.
673
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:22,934
Then Pipi does win.
674
00:38:23,034 --> 00:38:25,146
And we all go without fresh
water for the rest of our lives.
675
00:38:25,170 --> 00:38:27,973
Come on, Karen, please.
My friends are down there.
676
00:38:28,073 --> 00:38:30,275
It doesn't work like that.
677
00:38:30,376 --> 00:38:33,612
I didn't just become
Karen overnight.
678
00:38:33,712 --> 00:38:35,280
First I smoked weed.
679
00:38:35,381 --> 00:38:36,815
Then I smoked too much weed.
680
00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:38,917
Then I started a weed farm
and then I got entitled
681
00:38:39,017 --> 00:38:41,286
and did everything I
could to protect it!
682
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:48,660
But the weed is all gone now.
683
00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:51,863
Not all of it.
684
00:39:09,314 --> 00:39:12,484
The Thanksgiving Day
Special? You saved this?
685
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,886
I-I made this, like,
three years ago.
686
00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:18,924
Yeah. I think it's the
best special you ever made.
687
00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:31,102
If I smoke this... I
won't remember any of you.
688
00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:37,242
It will be like none of the
past few days ever happened.
689
00:39:38,243 --> 00:39:40,245
We have to have water, Karen.
690
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:14,989
: What the
hell is he doing?
691
00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:16,414
He looks ridiculous.
692
00:40:16,515 --> 00:40:18,850
Just-just let him do it, kids.
693
00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:39,037
Someone's been fucking
with my Tegridy!
694
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:42,207
- Yeah!
- Yeah, Dad!
695
00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:46,678
Thank you!
696
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,980
Thank you, everyone, for coming
697
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,283
to be a part of filming
my new commerci.
698
00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:56,955
This is gonna be the best
commerci we ever make-a!
699
00:40:58,423 --> 00:41:01,927
Okay, now everyone look
like you're having fun!
700
00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:07,132
Background action! And
action, Matt Damon-a!
701
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,701
Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
702
00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:13,772
Me and all my Hollywood friends
have a little secret to share.
703
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:16,241
We love being in pee.
704
00:41:16,341 --> 00:41:17,709
Are you in?
705
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:19,049
Okay, that's good, that's good.
706
00:41:19,077 --> 00:41:22,080
Now you all play in
the pee a little bit.
707
00:41:22,881 --> 00:41:24,883
You laughing, you having fun.
708
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,952
You splash-a the
pee on each other.
709
00:41:30,956 --> 00:41:32,323
Good, good. You love the pee.
710
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:34,560
Now maybe, Matt
Damon, you splash pee
711
00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:35,927
on Reesie Witherspoon.
712
00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:38,163
And then, Reesie, the
pee... The pee make you
713
00:41:38,263 --> 00:41:41,199
so happy that-that you cry.
714
00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:42,668
I cry?
715
00:41:42,768 --> 00:41:45,270
Yes, Reesie, you so happy
in the pee, it make you cry.
716
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:49,541
And when you cry...
you cry the pee.
717
00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:52,343
I can't cry pee.
718
00:41:52,443 --> 00:41:53,912
Oh, come on, Reesie.
719
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,781
You slut yourself
out for crypto,
720
00:41:55,881 --> 00:41:57,749
now just be a slut for Pipi.
721
00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:01,119
Go on, cry, Reesie. You're
all a bunch of sellouts.
722
00:42:01,219 --> 00:42:03,555
Cry for the commerci.
Come on, cry.
723
00:42:10,596 --> 00:42:13,799
I'm sorry, folks, the
waterpark is closed
724
00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:15,433
for a commercial shoot.
725
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,812
We'll let you know as soon as
we get things back open again.
726
00:42:31,717 --> 00:42:33,685
It's Karen!
727
00:42:33,785 --> 00:42:37,322
I want in your
waterpark right now!
728
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:40,425
The park's closed, they're
filming a commercial.
729
00:42:40,525 --> 00:42:42,560
I wanna speak to your...
730
00:42:42,661 --> 00:42:43,929
: manager!
731
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:50,669
Good. Good.
732
00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:54,139
And now, Larry David, you come
up with the pee in your mouth.
733
00:42:55,874 --> 00:42:59,611
And then you just, you just
spit the pee on Gwyneth Paltrow.
734
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:13,391
There you are!
What's going on?
735
00:43:13,491 --> 00:43:15,927
You wanna tell me what
the fuck is going on?!
736
00:43:16,027 --> 00:43:17,996
Scusi, who let you in?
737
00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:21,199
I let myself in because
it's a free country
738
00:43:21,299 --> 00:43:23,434
and I'll stand where
I fucking want!
739
00:43:23,534 --> 00:43:24,870
Get him out of here!
740
00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:26,371
Don't you fucking touch me!
741
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:28,506
Don't any of you
fucking touch me!
742
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:31,409
Okay, we obviously have a bit
of a Karen here, let's, uh...
743
00:43:31,509 --> 00:43:33,679
You can call me Karen
all you fucking want!
744
00:43:33,779 --> 00:43:35,180
Motherfucker!
745
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,858
Why don't you tell everyone
what you've been doing?!
746
00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:40,151
: I want to speak
to someone in charge! No!
747
00:43:40,251 --> 00:43:42,153
No, 'cause clearly
you're not in charge!
748
00:43:42,253 --> 00:43:44,699
- What's going on up there?
- You don't even know what the fuck you're doing!
749
00:43:44,723 --> 00:43:45,824
Do you?!
750
00:43:46,591 --> 00:43:49,594
- Hello? Who's there?
751
00:43:50,361 --> 00:43:53,732
Who's there? Goddamn it,
I-I'm the fuckin' lifeguard.
752
00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:04,943
Whoa.
753
00:44:05,043 --> 00:44:07,645
No, you-you all
need to get a life!
754
00:44:07,746 --> 00:44:09,514
I'm not wasted, you're wasted!
755
00:44:09,614 --> 00:44:13,351
Okay, fine, if you don't leave,
I'm gonna call the police.
756
00:44:13,451 --> 00:44:14,552
Fuckin' do it!
757
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,021
Fucking call the police!
758
00:44:16,121 --> 00:44:18,023
Bring 'em right here!
Why don't you go back
759
00:44:18,123 --> 00:44:19,557
to your own fucking country?!
760
00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:21,559
- Oh, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, whoa.
761
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:24,395
Tom, it looks like after
several days of nothing,
762
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,432
a new Karen video has finally
appeared on the Internet.
763
00:44:27,532 --> 00:44:30,101
A livestream caught
Karen spewing the usual
764
00:44:30,201 --> 00:44:31,636
entitled hateful bullshit,
765
00:44:31,737 --> 00:44:33,939
and more and more
viewers are tuning in!
766
00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:37,175
You probably don't even have
a fucking green card, do you?!
767
00:44:37,275 --> 00:44:39,444
Okay. Please leave, okay?
768
00:44:39,544 --> 00:44:42,113
No! You leave! I'm an American!
769
00:44:42,213 --> 00:44:43,749
I pay taxes!
770
00:44:43,849 --> 00:44:47,185
- Okay, please-please leave.
- No! You're a piece of shit
771
00:44:47,285 --> 00:44:49,721
who started the
streaming wars on purpose
772
00:44:49,821 --> 00:44:51,689
to-to cause the drought!
773
00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:55,060
Okay-okay, that's it.
774
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,395
Everybody, we're sorry
for the disturbance.
775
00:44:57,495 --> 00:44:59,765
Yeah, and then you pay
celebrities to get people
776
00:44:59,865 --> 00:45:01,332
to invest in your dumb shit
777
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:03,668
'cause you know
it's fucking dumb!
778
00:45:06,071 --> 00:45:09,908
Somebody get this
Karen out of my face-y!
779
00:45:16,281 --> 00:45:19,617
Oh, you fucked now, Karen.
780
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:22,620
Oh, look out! ManBearPig!
781
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:27,993
Dad? Dad!
782
00:45:28,093 --> 00:45:30,161
Dad, you're okay!
783
00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:33,264
Tolkien? Tolkien!
784
00:45:43,674 --> 00:45:45,076
Where did you come from?!
785
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:47,212
We were busted out
by our new friend.
786
00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,180
It's okay, you can come out.
787
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,187
Chuck Chuck.
788
00:45:56,287 --> 00:45:58,256
What the fuck is that thing?
789
00:45:58,356 --> 00:46:01,092
I think I can explain it all.
790
00:46:02,127 --> 00:46:04,595
You see, for Pipi's
plan to work,
791
00:46:04,695 --> 00:46:06,898
he needed to control
climate change.
792
00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:11,169
And the only way to control
anything, is by fucking its mom.
793
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,371
But what Pipi didn't count on,
794
00:46:13,471 --> 00:46:16,174
was that a child
will stop at nothing
795
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:18,776
to find out who is
fucking their mom.
796
00:46:20,846 --> 00:46:22,547
Chuck Chuck.
797
00:46:29,888 --> 00:46:32,657
See? I-I keep them safe, uh-huh.
798
00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:37,195
Whoa, whoa. Hold on a
minute, ManBearBitchie.
799
00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:38,897
We have a great team, no?
800
00:46:40,598 --> 00:46:44,102
You no wanna hurt Pipi. Look
at everything we've done!
801
00:46:59,885 --> 00:47:02,087
I give you half of
the company, huh?!
802
00:47:02,187 --> 00:47:03,788
What do you say,
ManBearBitchie?!
803
00:47:03,889 --> 00:47:07,959
We can own the only streaming
service in the world together!
804
00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:22,740
- It's over. We did it!
- We did it, Dad!
805
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,476
Randy. Thank you so much.
806
00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:31,282
Randy? What are you staring at?
807
00:47:31,382 --> 00:47:33,484
Oh, here we go again.
808
00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,786
No, wait.
809
00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,256
Mr... Mr. Marsh?
810
00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:39,724
My eyes are up... Dude!
811
00:47:39,824 --> 00:47:44,329
How to get saltwater to
the desalinization plant.
812
00:47:45,163 --> 00:47:47,232
Saltwater... saline.
813
00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:49,467
Saline in the plant.
814
00:47:49,567 --> 00:47:52,770
Saline implant! Holy fuck!
815
00:47:57,808 --> 00:48:00,545
Today we try for
a new beginning.
816
00:48:00,645 --> 00:48:04,515
You know, in police work, we
don't always get it right.
817
00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:07,718
I wanted a deck in my hands
so bad that I didn't care
818
00:48:07,818 --> 00:48:09,187
whose deck it was.
819
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:10,989
But I'm happy to be
standing here now
820
00:48:11,089 --> 00:48:13,358
with our new test subject.
821
00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:16,261
Thank you. I just want
to say to my mom...
822
00:48:16,361 --> 00:48:18,596
Mom, I'm sorry.
823
00:48:18,696 --> 00:48:21,632
I'm sorry that I can't always
be the son that you need.
824
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,969
Because right now you need
a son that can stay firm
825
00:48:24,069 --> 00:48:25,336
and teach you a lesson.
826
00:48:25,436 --> 00:48:28,940
But unfortunately,
duty calls. I'm ready.
827
00:48:36,847 --> 00:48:38,616
Okay, hit it.
828
00:48:46,457 --> 00:48:48,793
Okay, it works.
Bring in the rest!
829
00:49:22,593 --> 00:49:24,595
We got Matt Damon
to tell every woman
830
00:49:24,695 --> 00:49:26,231
with fake tits to be brave!
831
00:49:26,331 --> 00:49:28,266
Look at all of them.
832
00:49:36,407 --> 00:49:38,676
It's working!
833
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,383
Hey, everybody! Look!
834
00:49:51,656 --> 00:49:55,360
ManBearPig is leaving with
PigBearGirl and Chuck Chuck.
835
00:49:58,196 --> 00:49:59,897
Chuck Chuck!
836
00:50:06,871 --> 00:50:07,938
Hey, wait.
837
00:50:08,039 --> 00:50:09,474
If that little thing
838
00:50:09,574 --> 00:50:11,376
is gonna be climate
change someday,
839
00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:13,578
shouldn't we, like... kill it?
840
00:50:14,945 --> 00:50:16,047
I think what we should do
841
00:50:16,147 --> 00:50:17,282
is try to reach out to it,
842
00:50:17,382 --> 00:50:18,742
see what it needs
and see if it can
843
00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:20,251
be different from its father.
844
00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:22,620
Yeah, but that all
sounds really hard.
845
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,490
We have enough water for
the summer now. Fuck it.
846
00:50:25,590 --> 00:50:27,692
Let's smoke some weed!
59154
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