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00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,005
♪
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,007
♪
4
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,469
[screams]
5
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,262
- Is that a fucking mosquito?
6
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:14,681
[screeches]
7
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,807
- Run!
8
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,397
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
9
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[screeches]
10
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,861
Ugh! It fucking slimed me!
11
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,530
- I'm not a goddamn runner!
12
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,074
I have flat feet and a super-long torso!
13
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,367
[grunts]
14
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,036
- Aah!
- What the shit!
15
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,412
[screeches]
16
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,877
[growls]
17
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[both grunt]
- My skin is burning!
18
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,258
[both scream]
19
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,846
[screeching]
20
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,765
[Halk grunts]
CHERIE: What the hell?
21
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,434
- You got skeeter saliva on you.
22
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,228
Scrub it, or you'll itch for a week.
23
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,314
Come with me if you want to larva.
24
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,443
You know, 'cause baby mosquitoes
are larva and the movie--
25
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,071
Uh, whatever, just let's go
so you don't die.
26
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,491
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
27
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Until the asteroid hit.
28
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
29
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,748
and escaped into, uh, the space,
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00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,168
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
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That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
33
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I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
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This is-- this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
35
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[stammers] This is ridiculous.
36
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,972
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
37
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:38,432
People are stupid and confusing.
38
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Why do you let Tom Cruise do
all his own stunts?
39
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The man's going to get himself killed.
40
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,604
Please, Mr. Cruise,
if you're within the sound of my voice,
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scale it back.
42
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,732
You're the greatest entertainer
the world has ever known.
43
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And I'm sure your beliefs
are reasonable too.
44
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I haven't looked into it.
45
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♪
46
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[panting]
47
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,536
[grunting]
48
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,706
- Ah.
49
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:03,832
[gasps]
50
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,628
[straining]
51
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,298
[grunts]
52
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,511
[machinery whirring]
53
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,306
- Mm.
54
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:22,392
The winner of the house
smoothie challenge is... Terry.
55
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,520
- What?
- Yes, biatches! I only used vodka!
56
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,022
- In what world does my
Hot Meatloaf Smoothie not win?
57
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,191
Taste it again.
That's real-ass butter, son.
58
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[all scream]
59
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,860
- Eat meatloaf, monster!
60
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,195
JESSE: Please stop!
61
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,823
- Jesse! What the hell happened
to our Emily in Paris body suit?
62
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,742
- Guys, I was undercover in the human suit
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when I overheard huge news.
64
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,538
- There's a Ray Donovan cast reunion?
65
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,248
- No.
- Then what the fuck, Jesse?
66
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,292
- There I was,
doing hard investigative journalism
67
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,670
on why humans like hummus
and then suddenly--
68
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,671
KORVO: Snore. Skip to the end!
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00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,300
JESSE: I heard that our town
might be listed by Parade Magazine
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00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,636
as one of the Ten Nicest Places to Live!
71
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
And the judges are coming this week!
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00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,640
KORVO: Don't care.
This is a horrible use of a flashback.
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- And our family was not invited
to the giant town photo.
74
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,562
- What...
- The...
- Hell!
75
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,064
- We weren't invited to something?
Now I fucking care.
76
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,691
- Hold up, everyone hold your butts.
77
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,317
You sure they're talking
about The Solars?
78
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,112
Or was it The Kohlers,
those kitchen sink CEOs down the block?
79
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:18,282
'Cause last time I checked,
this town straight-up loves us.
80
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,659
We totally settled this
with Nanobot Man, 'member?
81
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,869
The whole people liking us stuff?
82
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,246
- And I'm basically
the moral center of this town.
83
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,206
That's why I gave the mayor my Yum-signal
84
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,792
in case they ever need
my vigilante services.
85
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,169
[siren wailing in distance]
86
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,295
[bird coos]
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- Yumyulack,
you're the moral center of dick.
88
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,007
And, Jesse, your sources suck.
89
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,884
Why are we fucking paying
for that journalism MBA
90
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,927
from Grand Canyon University?
- It's true!
91
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,346
People are afraid of us
'cause we're always zapping them
92
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,723
into random things.
93
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,559
- "Zapping"? Please.
I don't zap. Name one time.
94
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,437
- When you turned people who love
dinner parties into bottles of wine.
95
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,855
- Look at how tight my calves were.
96
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:53,358
- And remember Terry turning
Red Goobler's fiancée into a rat?
97
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,943
- Who is framing these?
98
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,737
- That was a couple of losers
who deserved it.
99
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,323
But this idea that the entire town
is scared of us is batshit.
100
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,657
Watch, I-I-I'll prove it to you.
101
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:04,077
- See? The mailman is delivering our mail
like he does for everybody.
102
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:07,039
From a safe distance,
with an LA Sparks-branded T-shirt cannon.
103
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,415
What up, Franklin!
104
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,542
- Please don't turn me into horsey sauce
105
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,711
like you did to Doug,
who used to have this route!
106
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,880
- Well, maybe Doug shouldn't have
crinkled my magazines!
107
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,256
- Hang on. I'm sensing a pattern.
[men gasp]
108
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,133
That group of tough guys
wearing Judas Priest shirts
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crossed the street only after they saw us.
110
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,679
And is this why planes never fly
over our house?
111
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,766
Harrison Ford has crashed into every yard
on this street except ours.
112
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,850
[tires screeching]
113
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:30,312
- And did you guys ever notice how
the Pupa only has "away-game" playdates?
114
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- [gasps] Wait a fucking minute.
115
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,690
Is that DoorDash guy delivering food
116
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,567
straight to Kevin's door?
117
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I thought the "Dash" was on us!
118
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,655
- I always have to pick it up
from DoorDash HQ in San Francisco.
119
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,907
The ramen turns into a cold brick
by the time I get home.
120
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:44,826
- Fam, we gotta fix this.
I want that hot Dash!
121
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,246
- Jesse, you're always
annoyingly preachy about kindness.
122
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:48,622
Teach us how not to be jerks.
123
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,582
- First lesson: say please.
124
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,042
- No, I'm the goddamn boss.
125
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Put a dime in
the "Know Your Place" jar, you snizz.
126
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,421
- Oh, this ain't gonna be easy.
127
00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:00,509
- Hey, isn't this where we had
our Shlorpian sexual harassment training?
128
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,885
Who was the hot guy who ran it?
129
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,011
Real strong shoulders,
130
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,680
like cum gutters on the roof,
know what I'm sayin'?
131
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,973
- Listen up, maggots!
132
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,892
I only have 23 hours
to teach you some empathy
133
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,562
before Parade Magazine judges this town!
134
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[ticks]
135
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,191
This is a paintball gun
that represents our sci-fi rays.
136
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,026
Repeat after me. I will not use this--
137
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,361
[firing]
[Pupa gulps]
138
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,988
- I need more paintballs, woman!
139
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,615
Please.
[Pupa burps]
140
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,658
[alarm blares]
141
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,077
- Okay, Korvo. You're at a car shop.
142
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,997
And this mechanic's gonna tell you
what's wrong with your car.
143
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,499
- This piece of cardboard shit thinks
he knows more than me?
144
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,668
JESSE:
We're just gonna listen to him.
145
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,296
- You see, when the warning light goes on,
146
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,089
that means there's a problem.
147
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,841
- I know what
a warning light is, cocksnot!
148
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,384
JESSE:
Ah-ah-ah. Patience.
149
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,386
Remember, he's just trying to help.
150
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,054
This here's yer spark plug.
151
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,390
Ya want me to write
those words down for ya?
152
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,976
- Bitch!
JESSE: Hear him out.
153
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,604
- That'll be $300.
154
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,606
[screams]
[firing]
155
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:56,523
[alarm blares]
156
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,567
- Okay. Terry, you're in an Uber pool.
157
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,694
- Wow, how frugal of me.
I'm growing already!
158
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,530
JESSE: All you need to do is
make it across the room.
159
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,032
- Okay, I see what's happening.
160
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,659
These Red Sox fans are gonna
yammer on about Beantown,
161
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,703
and you think I'm gonna turn them
into chowda or some shit.
162
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,414
But joke's on you, kid,
because I love Boston.
163
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,250
That's why I got a We Bought a Zoo
Matt Damon tattoo inside my lip!
164
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,294
So start her up, Jesse. Gimme your worst!
165
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,254
CARDBOARD SOX FAN 1:
Did you hear what happened at the end
166
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,965
of Fast and Furious 10:
10 Fast, 10 Furious?
167
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,675
- Ahh. No spoilers! Stop the car!
168
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:24,927
JESSE:
Stay calm and use your words.
169
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,678
- I heard Vinnie Diesel
steals the Space Shuttle.
170
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,764
- Remove your mouths from your faces!
171
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,015
- I couldn't believe they killed--
172
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,601
- I will burn every last Dunkin Donuts
in this hemisphere,
173
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,520
you Guinness-blooded dem-apple havers!
174
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,021
[firing]
175
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,481
[alarm blares]
[Pupa gasps, gulps]
176
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:38,982
[whistling sigh]
177
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,236
JESSE: Okay, we're gonna
make this real simple.
178
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,820
Just order from the menu.
179
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:47,366
- I'd like a grilled cheese... please.
180
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,367
JESSE: That's the ticket!
181
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:51,078
- Would you like mozzarella,
American, provolone--
182
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,287
[Yumyulack screams]
[paintball gun fires]
183
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,664
- Why would you do that?
184
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:56,041
- Come on! Cheddar wasn't even
in their top three!
185
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,005
[whistling]
186
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,301
CHERIE:
Jesus. This was the prison level.
187
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,262
You can still see the tally marks
on the walls.
188
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,806
Oh god, this guy only made it one day.
189
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,224
That's depressing.
190
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,101
- Well, prisons in the time
of The Duke, yeah.
191
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,602
But now, it's home.
192
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,020
Come on! You must be starving.
193
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,772
- What the hell are we doing?
194
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,816
Do I need to remind you
that the last people we followed
195
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:21,900
ate Joe Sanders?
196
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,486
- Dude. That's the Janitor. He was one
of the first people in the Wall.
197
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,487
- So?
198
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,448
- So, he must know
how to stop the mosquitoes.
199
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,785
- We did what we came to do.
The power is on. Let's go home.
200
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,787
- And put my baby to sleep every night
201
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,958
knowing that at any second
a dumpster Dracula could suck her dry?
202
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,085
Fuck that. Who knows how many there are?
203
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,045
- Well, there's about ten
by your feet right now.
204
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,463
[gasps, screams]
205
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,464
[larva squeals]
206
00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:46,175
- How do we kill them all?
207
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:48,969
- You can't. I'll show you why.
208
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,304
[Janitor whistles]
209
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,431
- Hell no. Absolutely not.
210
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,602
No goddamn respect.
211
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:59,730
No one listens, fucking bugs spittin'
on me and shit--
212
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,566
- So... How'd we do?
213
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,610
- You all failed miserably!
214
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:05,944
- Uh, recount much?
215
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,655
- Not one of you thought
about another person's feelings!
216
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,658
The Parade Magazine judges
will be here in a few hours!
217
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,661
[ticks]
218
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,164
- Whatever. Who cares
if we're not invited.
219
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,790
I say we photobomb these losers.
220
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:19,917
- Hard agree.
221
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,920
What if we turn everyone who was shitting
on us into actual Polaroids?
222
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,088
I can whip up a ray gun that will--
- Brill, Korvo.
223
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,507
- You leave me no choice.
224
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,759
I invoke Taro Nedgerton!
225
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,801
[all gasp]
[Pupa coughs]
226
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,886
- You're banishing us?
227
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:34,014
- A Shlorpian can only invoke
Taro Nedgerton once in a lifetime.
228
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,391
You can't just willy-nilly invoke
Taro Nedgerton.
229
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,810
- We did it the first day we landed
and now we can't invoke shite.
230
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,646
- I invoke!
[blows whistle]
231
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,898
KORVO:
Don't do this, Jesse! Please!
232
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,566
AISHA:
Banished Shlorpians must remain
233
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,319
in the brainwashing room
for a full solar cycle.
234
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,362
- A year?
235
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,280
AISHA:
Or until you assholes learn empathy.
236
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,281
- A year?
237
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:55,285
AISHA: Commencing
sympathy re-education in three, two--
238
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,873
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
[all scream]
239
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:01,834
KORVO:
Why is a puppy friends with an otter?
240
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:02,960
They don't share a habitat!
241
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,712
YUMYULACK:
The rainbows! They burn my eyes!
242
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,048
- Now everyone in town
can be who they want
243
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,551
without sci-fi messing up their life.
244
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,677
TERRY:
Okay, I think it's over--
245
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,929
Oh no. Babies discovering bubbles!
246
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,138
[all scream]
247
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,142
- Oh god no.
Marlo! Marlo, get back here!
248
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,686
Not the aliens' house.
249
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,271
Anywhere but the aliens' house!
250
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,481
Shit, shit, shit. Oh god, oh god, oh god.
251
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,025
- Hi there, neighbs!
252
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:30,612
- Oh god, I'm sorry! The leash slipped.
Please don't tell Korvo. Oh god.
253
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,282
- You don't have to worry
about my family anymore.
254
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,868
They're all hella locked up.
Have a fun day!
255
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:37,160
[humming]
256
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:45,252
- Hey! Remember those dicks who turned me
into a gummy bear last year?
257
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,879
- It was technically a Swedish Fish.
258
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,505
I tried to bone you in the gummy butt.
259
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,716
It was the second craziest 9-11
of my life.
260
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:54,136
- Well, they're all locked up!
We can be jerks again!
261
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:56,847
[all chuckle]
♪ electronic music playing ♪
262
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:01,059
ALL: [howling]
Jeeerks!
263
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,021
[man grunts]
264
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,022
[girl screams]
265
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,398
- Jeeerks!
266
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,983
Jeeerks!
267
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,402
- Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
268
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:12,988
Jerks!
269
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,325
[howling]
270
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,452
[howling continues]
271
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,580
- Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jeeerks!
272
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,833
- Now generally, I'm a dark meat guy.
273
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:28,212
But when it comes to skeetos,
you want that sweet yellow meat.
274
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,757
- So you're kinda like Quint
from Jaws, but for bugs?
275
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,258
- Hey, that's what I'm going for.
276
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,801
I got bored making diaphragms
277
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,095
out of the lambskin scraps
Yumyulack gives us.
278
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,640
So now I come down
to the lower levels, catch a bug,
279
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,767
go back up, sell its meat
at the meat market.
280
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,311
All this time, you thought
you were eating turkey jerky.
281
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,563
But no, that is grade-A mosquito.
282
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,482
- Mm. This is good.
283
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,442
- Gotta use all parts of the skee-buffalo.
284
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,778
Steaks from the thorax.
Netting from the wings.
285
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,446
Check this out: Would you believe this hat
286
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,864
used to be a mosquito's head?
287
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,534
You can't fight nature.
You gotta learn to live with it.
288
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,495
- I really think the point of all humanity
is that you don't.
289
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,956
- Take it from a First Gen Wallian.
I've seen it all.
290
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,958
We went from gum boys to the Tim era.
291
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,918
Now we're blessed with mosquito protein.
292
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,295
These disgusting monsters are our future.
293
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,506
This is how we rid ourselves
294
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,259
of our reliance on the aliens' candy.
295
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:18,804
- Mm, this tastes just like
a freshly microwaved Bob Evans!
296
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:21,390
- We gotta convince Parliament
to protect these bugs.
297
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:24,393
It's the only way the Wall can be
in harmony with itself.
298
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,313
- Mm.
299
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,316
Goddammit. Yeah, this is delicious.
300
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,867
- Ugh. We've had a good run, Maddie.
301
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:43,120
But this town no longer needs
its Civic Responsibility Manager.
302
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,122
I can't believe
my life's work was to create
303
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,082
the world's first Jerk Monitoring System,
304
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:48,542
and now I'll never get to use it.
305
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:51,503
But now that we're up
for Top Ten Nicest Places to Live,
306
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,714
there are no more jerks to be monitored.
307
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,215
- Do you want me to unplug it?
308
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,800
- Please. I can't bear it.
309
00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,803
[beep]
Wait!
310
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:00,888
[beeping]
311
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,223
The jerks, the jerks are filling up
the streets!
312
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,893
No, no, they aren't hiding anymore.
313
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,102
The jerks are on the move!
314
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,354
Get me the mayor!
315
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:13,525
If we don't act now, here's how many jerks
we'll be at in ten minutes.
316
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,568
Twenty minutes.
317
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:17,404
And in an hour's time,
we'll have completely lost our city.
318
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,407
Oh god. We might be too late.
319
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,992
Kid Rock just announced he's bringing
320
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,870
his Make America Squirt Again festival
to our town!
321
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:27,039
[gasps]
- Well, I know what I need to do.
322
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:29,708
I'm gonna sleep with my mistress
in my own bed!
323
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,168
Jeeerks!
THOM: Wow.
324
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,462
All this time, the mayor was a jerk.
325
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,215
That's a political first.
It's up to us now, Maddie.
326
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,258
[blows]
327
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,220
- Nope. It's up to you now!
You're fat. Byeee!
328
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:44,264
- The town is full of jerks,
and Parade Magazine is coming today.
329
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,141
We have to do something before they--
[airplane whooshing]
330
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:48,060
Oh no.
331
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,771
Oh god, no!
332
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,529
- Hey. Bones writer.
333
00:12:58,529 --> 00:13:00,239
- Man, how long was I asleep?
334
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,241
Those skeeto poppers
really knocked me out.
335
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,492
- Whoa. What the hell?
336
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:06,328
- Your partner's lost
her cool-haircut head. Untie me.
337
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,081
- Hey, psycho, what's with the hostage?
338
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,875
- The Janitor needed to be taken
out of the equation, he'll be fine.
339
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,961
- We were his guests! What equation?
340
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,713
- E equals kill every mosquito.
341
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,507
- What? We can feed the whole Wall.
342
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:21,051
- Anything that can hurt Pezlie
needs to be destroyed.
343
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,095
- Jesus, Cherie, how many
more people have to die
344
00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,888
because you have to nuke every threat?
345
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,307
- Well, maybe you could start helping
with some threats.
346
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,475
I thought you were a hero.
347
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,727
- I've never wanted to be a hero!
348
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,521
That's it. I'm done. I'm going home.
349
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,982
- You can't quit! We're partners!
350
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:37,067
- My wife is my partner.
351
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,736
I never should have left her behind.
- Fine! Fuck it!
352
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,530
Go!
- Don't you get it?
353
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,740
There's always gonna be another battle.
354
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,993
It'll never end!
- Then I'll keep fighting!
355
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,369
- What's the point
of fighting for your family
356
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,913
if you never get to be with your family?
357
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,584
Go home, Cherie. Before you make
that baby an orphan.
358
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:00,507
- So this is where we are, huh?
359
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,759
You're just like Tim. And The Duke.
360
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,303
- You don't know shit about Ringo.
361
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,721
- We've been given a blessing!
362
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:07,806
But you're too busy "leading" to see it.
363
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,976
Liars, always holding on to power
with your stupid lies.
364
00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:13,187
- No, I got rid of all the liars.
365
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,564
- If you think that, then you don't know
who's lying to you.
366
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,566
- Oh, shut up. [grunts]
[Janitor groans]
367
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:26,408
Mm. Ugh, this would be so much easier
if this wasn't so delicious.
368
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:29,036
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
369
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:31,288
♪
370
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,583
- Okay, Pupa.
Let's go get in that town photo.
371
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,211
Now that the three biggest town jerks
are locked in our ship,
372
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:38,545
we can be free to--
[squishing]
373
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,589
Eww! [gasps]
374
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,675
[people shouting]
[glass shatters]
375
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,222
[cheering]
376
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,642
- Listen to this dream I had last night.
377
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:54,144
It's super long,
and you're totally not in it.
378
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,145
[laughs]
379
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,271
[thud]
380
00:14:58,524 --> 00:14:59,942
- What's happening?
381
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,319
There's a lot of people around
in summer scarves!
382
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:05,239
- Those aliens who turned us
into iguanas last year are gone!
383
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,865
- We totally deserved it, too.
384
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,535
But now, the jerks are back, baybee!
385
00:15:09,535 --> 00:15:11,995
[howling]
386
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,997
- Oh no, I was wrong!
387
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:17,376
Korvo, Terry, and Yum weren't the problem,
they were the solution!
388
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,754
- Ahh! I tried arson, but it backfired!
389
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,422
Oh god! Ahh!
390
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:27,845
♪
391
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:30,055
♪
392
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,223
- Hey! Emily in Paris!
393
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,308
This is how it will look in five minutes.
394
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:35,352
In ten minutes.
- I don't have time for this!
395
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,896
Goddammit.
396
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:43,193
♪
397
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,153
♪
398
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,072
That's the silhouette he chose?
399
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,574
[all sobbing]
400
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:51,285
- I get it now. I fucking love empathy!
401
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:54,246
- Yes, we've seen soldiers surprising
their kids at the airport,
402
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:55,831
and we double-watched Scrooged.
403
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,624
It expanded every heart I have!
404
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,002
AISHA:
Hold up. Got a message for Yum.
405
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,671
- Oh my god, the town finally needs
its moral center!
406
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,798
- Aisha, release us!
AISHA: I don't think you're ready.
407
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:05,924
- Fam, I was wrong!
408
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,887
Jerks have totally taken over,
and only you assholes can save this town!
409
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:11,638
- Come on, Ai-eesh, we need to get out!
410
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,932
- Come on, sister girl,
we're running out of time!
411
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,643
AISHA: Jesus, you fucking aliens
get into some stupid shit.
412
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,645
Okay, we can skip to the final test.
413
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,732
I ordered a pizza, all you gotta do
is talk to the delivery guy
414
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:22,774
and get your pizza. Okay?
415
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:23,817
- Wow, that's it?
416
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,818
- Easy. Not even hungry.
417
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,195
AISHA: Also, he's two hours late.
418
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:27,529
- What? Where the fuck's my 'za?
419
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,031
- Come on, you guys can do this.
420
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,074
As of now, I believe in you!
421
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,367
[doorbell rings]
422
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,119
[spits]
423
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,580
- Ah! My Teen Titans collector vases!
424
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:38,498
- Ugh. Let's get this over with.
425
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,042
- Hello, pizza representative.
426
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,335
PIZZA DUDE:
Uh yeah, I got a pizza
427
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,420
for Korn, Larry, and HackitySack.
428
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,796
- Call me by my Christian name!
429
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:47,007
- No, no, calm your tits, Yumyulack.
This can be done.
430
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,258
Thank you.
431
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,177
AISHA: Cute. Now tip him.
432
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,345
- For not doing his job?
433
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:53,805
- Come on. We gotta get out of here.
The city needs me.
434
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,141
- Uh, does it go any lower
than ten percent?
435
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,060
No, ten is the bottom? Of course it is.
436
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,436
[beep]
Okay, we did it, open the doors.
437
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,604
AISHA: Give him five stars.
438
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:01,855
- What?
- Fuck off!
439
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:09,571
I can't. A perfect five-star rating
means something, dammit.
440
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,532
- Okay, if I've learned anything today,
441
00:17:11,532 --> 00:17:14,034
it's that empathy isn't about doing
the correct thing.
442
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:17,412
It's about skipping what makes sense
to make someone else feel good.
443
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,373
Come on, what would Scrooged do?
444
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:21,500
- He would... think about
what other people want
445
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,919
and give them that
because he's actually Santa.
446
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,380
- Yes! Wait, what?
No, did you even watch the movie?
447
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:29,007
- No, I had my eyes closed the whole time,
but I remember the poster.
448
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,092
[dings]
449
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,635
- Yeah!
- Alright!
450
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,763
- It's empathy time, motherfuckers.
Let's get decent!
451
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:38,100
♪ What the world needs now ♪
452
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:41,478
♪ Is love, sweet love ♪
453
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:42,437
[horn honks]
454
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,398
♪ It's the only thing ♪
455
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:48,569
♪ That there's just too little of ♪
456
00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:51,405
♪ What the world needs now ♪
457
00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:53,574
♪ Is love ♪
458
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:54,908
♪ Sweet love ♪
459
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:57,828
♪ No, not just for some ♪
460
00:17:58,662 --> 00:17:59,663
[screams]
461
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,249
[yelping]
462
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,250
[both scream]
463
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,921
[beeping]
464
00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:10,716
- Oh my god, I did it.
465
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:12,050
All the jerks are gone!
466
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,177
Which means
467
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,012
I get to be the only jerk in town!
468
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:17,598
[evil laughter]
469
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,933
What a fuckin' reveal!
470
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,187
♪ serene music playing ♪
471
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:25,939
- Whoa, our town looks gorgeous!
472
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,317
- Yeah, we empathized the fuck
outta this place.
473
00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:29,359
[vehicles approach]
474
00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:38,368
- In all my time as a Parade judge,
475
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:41,330
I have never seen nicer townfolk.
476
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:45,459
Surely the Top Ten will include
the gorgeous city of GeenaDavisville.
477
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:48,962
[seagulls squawking]
478
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,339
- Yeah!
MAN: Check it out,
479
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,132
I'm giving this fountain a golden shower!
480
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,467
JESSE: Oh no, this is bad.
481
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:54,510
[grunts]
[coins clatter]
482
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,094
- [blows] Sorry.
483
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,429
Please continue.
484
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,514
- Oh my god.
485
00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,933
Did you just turn that man into coins?
486
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,603
♪
487
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,856
- Aw, I love our family pics.
Really makes this house a home.
488
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:10,150
- Ah yes, every time
I walk by this picture,
489
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,736
I'll remember what a total bag of shit
that guy was.
490
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,404
- Fudgeballs. After all that,
491
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:17,908
I can't believe we didn't get listed
in the Ten Nicest Places to Live.
492
00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:19,326
We could've been on the cover!
493
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,078
- Nah, son! This cover is way better.
494
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:23,413
"Town's Moral Center
Saves Everyone's Ass."
495
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:27,668
Oooh! One-- no, two-- no,
three-- no, four!
496
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,545
Four recipes for creamy chowders?
497
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:30,546
Yeah, baby!
498
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:34,633
[Cherie grunts]
[squealing]
499
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:37,177
No. Ow. No, no.
500
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,345
No, no, no, no, no, no.
501
00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:40,681
[choking, coughing]
502
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,184
[Halk grunts]
503
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,645
- Halk! You came back.
504
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,063
- You know me.
[larva squeals]
505
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,231
Always the hero.
506
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,441
[both grunt]
[larvae squeal]
507
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:54,278
- There are way too many!
- The lighter!
508
00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:55,612
We can use the fluid!
509
00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,992
One... two...
510
00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:07,249
[larvae squealing]
511
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,044
- Good teamwork... partner.
512
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,045
[crack]
513
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,213
- What was--
[crack]
514
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,673
- The floor! Run!
515
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,467
[screaming]
516
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:22,472
♪
517
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:03,305
[mimicking laser fire]
38841
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