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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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This is my story
as I remember it
4
00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:55,292
HOPE
5
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:09,959
Thank you.
6
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:16,167
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
7
00:02:32,834 --> 00:02:34,042
Hi!
8
00:02:41,709 --> 00:02:44,584
- We're making a gingerbread castle!
- I can tell.
9
00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:47,584
- Look at this.
- Oops.
10
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:55,751
- Hello?
- Hello!
11
00:02:56,334 --> 00:02:57,792
Hi.
12
00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:00,209
Hi, dear.
13
00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:03,917
- Hi.
- Good to see you.
14
00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:18,917
Wow! Look at this!
15
00:03:19,042 --> 00:03:22,084
Hi!
How's it gone here?
16
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,959
- Henrik and Ada took care of us.
- What about me?
17
00:03:26,084 --> 00:03:29,709
Haven't I taken care of you?
And made dinner?
18
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:33,751
- Hi.
- Yes, twice in four weeks.
19
00:03:33,876 --> 00:03:38,084
If you're that ungrateful, I don't mind.
I'm leaving.
20
00:03:38,209 --> 00:03:42,834
- I'm going out with some friends.
- OK. Bye. See you.
21
00:03:44,376 --> 00:03:46,376
Where's Dad?
22
00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:49,709
- He's working late.
- As usual.
23
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,917
Bye!
24
00:03:53,042 --> 00:03:56,376
Will you help decorate the tree tomorrow?
25
00:03:57,376 --> 00:04:00,542
- When are we going to buy the tree?
- Tomorrow.
26
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,709
How are you doing?
27
00:04:06,626 --> 00:04:07,501
OK.
28
00:04:08,542 --> 00:04:10,834
- OK?
- Yes.
29
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:16,209
Her heart is broken.
30
00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:21,542
- I heard her tell Dad.
- Were you spying again?
31
00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:23,959
How else am I supposed
to find out anything?
32
00:04:25,334 --> 00:04:27,459
Hey…
33
00:04:36,584 --> 00:04:39,001
What's going on here?
34
00:05:04,084 --> 00:05:05,167
But hey…
35
00:05:06,292 --> 00:05:10,834
We agreed that you wouldn't work evenings.
I never do when you're away.
36
00:05:11,126 --> 00:05:14,417
Take it easy. Everything went fine.
37
00:05:15,251 --> 00:05:17,042
I took care of it my way.
38
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,667
Using the older kids as babysitters?
39
00:05:25,126 --> 00:05:26,459
Seen any reviews?
40
00:05:29,501 --> 00:05:31,084
Yes, there have been a couple.
41
00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:36,542
- And?
- They were pretty short. But favourable.
42
00:05:39,042 --> 00:05:42,251
Not like in theatre,
where they're neither?
43
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,334
Could you turn off the light?
44
00:05:54,959 --> 00:05:56,959
- You want me to go to the study?
- Not really.
45
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,626
I can't seem to get rid of this headache.
46
00:06:02,042 --> 00:06:04,626
It's just as bad in the morning
as when I go to bed at night.
47
00:06:06,584 --> 00:06:08,751
Right, lousy hotel beds.
48
00:06:09,584 --> 00:06:10,834
And stress.
49
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:24,626
The day before Christmas Eve
50
00:06:25,292 --> 00:06:28,792
I got these after an optical checkup.
51
00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:35,751
- Right, reading glasses?
- Yes.
52
00:06:36,084 --> 00:06:38,167
Custom-made prism lenses.
53
00:06:39,501 --> 00:06:44,334
- But I still can't read. I just get dizzy.
- I see.
54
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,709
I want you to take an MRI scan.
55
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,251
- When?
- Now. Before they close for Christmas.
56
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:33,542
I read a review of
your latest performance.
57
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:37,042
You did? Where?
58
00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:42,001
In a newspaper in the living room.
A foreign newspaper.
59
00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:45,209
That was just a write-up, Dad.
Not a review.
60
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:48,709
Write-up or review,
61
00:07:49,626 --> 00:07:53,751
it's still your first production abroad.
62
00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,334
It's a huge deal. Really.
63
00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:58,834
Was Tomas there?
64
00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:03,709
- Was Tomas there?
- He stayed home to look after the kids.
65
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:07,959
Yes, I understand. But…
66
00:08:08,751 --> 00:08:12,209
- It's good to be here.
- Just a moment, Dad. Hello?
67
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,126
I'm coming.
68
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:35,084
It's me.
How quickly can you get to our physician?
69
00:08:36,084 --> 00:08:38,417
Don't ask. Come as soon as you can.
70
00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:44,626
- Hi.
- Hi, Tomas.
71
00:08:51,042 --> 00:08:54,751
I'm afraid I have bad news.
Anja's diagnosis,
72
00:08:54,876 --> 00:09:00,542
her lung cancer operation a year ago,
evolved the way I feared.
73
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:06,917
The MRI images reveal a major tumour
surrounded by a large amount of fluid.
74
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,584
An oedema.
75
00:09:13,084 --> 00:09:18,334
It's most likely a secondary tumour,
a metastatic growth.
76
00:09:21,042 --> 00:09:25,792
It's not unusual for lung cancer
to spread to the brain like that.
77
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:32,626
It's incurable.
78
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:46,001
No words can express how sorry I am.
79
00:09:51,251 --> 00:09:53,251
Feels like I've known it for ages.
80
00:09:56,251 --> 00:09:58,626
You often have some premonition.
81
00:10:05,292 --> 00:10:09,876
Before you came, I spoke to the oncologist
on call at the Cancer Center at Ullevål.
82
00:10:10,459 --> 00:10:12,751
She's waiting for you
with more information.
83
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,167
Where did you park?
84
00:10:34,209 --> 00:10:35,542
I don't know.
85
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,667
How long have you felt something
was wrong without saying anything?
86
00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:47,126
I don't know.
87
00:10:50,042 --> 00:10:51,417
A couple of months, maybe.
88
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:02,876
Why didn't the doctors realize
something was wrong?
89
00:11:04,584 --> 00:11:08,251
- Why didn't they say anything?
- You never came to the control checkups.
90
00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:11,959
You didn't want me to come.
91
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,126
Said you could handle it yourself.
92
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:48,917
- Was it the kids?
- I don't know. I can't read.
93
00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:52,376
You can't read?
94
00:11:54,376 --> 00:11:59,542
So you have a cohabitant, three children
and three stepchildren?
95
00:12:07,459 --> 00:12:09,459
Could you say anything about my prognosis?
96
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,292
Don't you want to sit?
97
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:27,376
It's too early for any prognosis.
98
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:31,751
The specialists are on vacation
for the next four days.
99
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:36,834
But the tumour might be in a favourable
location in terms of surgery.
100
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:43,501
We don't know if it's a primary tumour,
or if it spread from your lungs.
101
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,834
But how much time do I have
if it's spread?
102
00:12:47,251 --> 00:12:48,876
I can't give you an answer.
103
00:12:51,876 --> 00:12:57,542
Initially you'll receive medication.
The oedema, the fluid around the tumour,
104
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:03,334
is so large that you'll need high doses
of steroids to avoid brain death.
105
00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:09,501
The medication, Medrol, will relieve
the swelling and the pressure.
106
00:13:09,626 --> 00:13:15,584
But if your headache, nausea
or visual impairment increases,
107
00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:17,876
you'll have to be admitted.
108
00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:21,959
I want to stay home.
I was in hospital last Christmas.
109
00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:25,834
- Don't want my kids to hate the holidays.
- I understand.
110
00:13:25,959 --> 00:13:29,542
But if it gets too difficult,
you need to call us.
111
00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:35,001
I don't advise you
to read about the side effects.
112
00:13:35,126 --> 00:13:40,292
Just remember that some people experience
a kind of high with lots of energy.
113
00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:45,917
While others get irritable and impatient.
It varies from person to person.
114
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,001
Excuse me.
115
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:51,709
Julie.
116
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,334
Hi.
117
00:13:58,084 --> 00:13:59,542
We're just shopping.
118
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:06,834
Could you make sure Grandpa
gets something to eat? Yes.
119
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:12,084
And could you empty the laundry
and put in a new load?
120
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:17,667
Yes. OK. Thanks. See you.
121
00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:22,459
- What is it?
- Nothing.
122
00:14:22,876 --> 00:14:27,626
Excuse me? I recommend that you
take the first dose right away.
123
00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:32,542
And here's your medication.
124
00:14:44,292 --> 00:14:47,917
- What do we tell the kids?
- Nothing.
125
00:14:50,876 --> 00:14:53,626
Not until we have some answers,
know more about what to expect.
126
00:14:58,251 --> 00:14:59,667
What about your father?
127
00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:32,417
- Mum? Mum?
- Yes?
128
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:35,376
- Did you find it?
- Yes.
129
00:15:37,792 --> 00:15:40,042
- Here.
- Thank you.
130
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:44,167
Alright? Ready?
131
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:46,751
Can you reach it?
132
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,042
There!
133
00:15:48,209 --> 00:15:49,792
Oops!
134
00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:55,542
- Toddy.
- Great!
135
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,251
- I'll have one.
- Nice!
136
00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:04,834
- No. Not for you, young lady.
- I'm sixteen.
137
00:16:04,917 --> 00:16:07,876
- Exactly. Here you go.
- Fine.
138
00:16:12,084 --> 00:16:15,001
How old is that Belgian girl who's coming?
139
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:20,126
She's a little older than you.
Maybe eleven. Isn't that exciting?
140
00:16:22,751 --> 00:16:25,751
I've invited a Belgian producer
and his daughter.
141
00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:27,876
Have you lost your mind?
142
00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:33,292
- We always have an open door at Christmas.
- You could have asked.
143
00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:37,167
You were away.
144
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,709
- Extra toddy for the kitchen assistant?
- Thank you.
145
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:05,376
Don't you understand? I'm not ready
to meet new people right now.
146
00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:09,084
OK.
147
00:17:20,709 --> 00:17:22,001
When I'm gone…
148
00:17:27,126 --> 00:17:28,292
What?
149
00:17:31,209 --> 00:17:34,167
When I'm gone,
I want you to find someone new.
150
00:17:37,376 --> 00:17:38,459
I mean it.
151
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:43,001
I don't think the kids
will make it with you alone.
152
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,709
Just promise me you'll find someone.
153
00:18:42,917 --> 00:18:46,376
Christmas Eve
154
00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:15,834
- Haven't you slept at all?
- No. I'm too nauseous.
155
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:23,376
My entire body's tingling.
It's awful.
156
00:19:26,459 --> 00:19:31,292
- Do you want to call the hospital?
- What? No.
157
00:19:34,084 --> 00:19:39,001
I thought I'd buy those last presents
and get some groceries. You should rest.
158
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:43,417
I want us to have a real Christmas.
I'm not tired.
159
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,709
Has everyone tidied their rooms?
160
00:20:25,417 --> 00:20:26,876
Have you tidied up?
161
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:51,209
I hate it!
Can you please pull yourself together?
162
00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:57,917
- You never do any housework!
- Erlend and I have to do everything!
163
00:20:58,042 --> 00:21:01,501
- Can you stop that and help me instead?
- He never does his share!
164
00:21:03,126 --> 00:21:06,792
- Come on, you guys. It's Christmas Eve.
- Jesus!
165
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:12,084
Isak doesn't do anything, Mum!
He's turning into a spoiled brat.
166
00:21:12,209 --> 00:21:14,959
He isn't three anymore. He's nine.
167
00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:16,417
I'm ten.
168
00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:21,792
OK, I'll try to shape up.
Now could you please tidy your rooms?
169
00:21:26,626 --> 00:21:28,834
God, I can't wait to move out.
170
00:21:31,251 --> 00:21:32,459
Mum…
171
00:21:35,084 --> 00:21:36,167
Mum!
172
00:21:37,626 --> 00:21:43,251
Promise me you'll never start smoking.
I won't let you. Promise me.
173
00:21:43,376 --> 00:21:47,334
- OK? Don't lie to me!
- I don't. You don't get it.
174
00:21:47,459 --> 00:21:48,792
Stop lying!
175
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:52,709
I was a damn fool.
You don't have to be.
176
00:22:09,251 --> 00:22:11,751
You're a godsend, Isak.
177
00:22:13,209 --> 00:22:15,292
Did you know that?
178
00:22:18,709 --> 00:22:23,251
- How many wine glasses do you need?
- For everyone. Nine.
179
00:22:27,042 --> 00:22:29,584
- Aren't those Belgians coming after all?
- No.
180
00:22:31,876 --> 00:22:34,626
- They aren't coming?
- Where are they going?
181
00:22:35,292 --> 00:22:38,376
- To Dag and Eline, I think.
- Who's that?
182
00:22:39,001 --> 00:22:42,876
- The theatre manager.
- I see.
183
00:22:44,251 --> 00:22:48,917
- But they don't have kids.
- And they're dull as hell.
184
00:22:49,251 --> 00:22:52,834
Yes, why couldn't they come to us?
185
00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:57,251
Well, I don't know.
186
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:58,792
Maybe…
187
00:23:00,501 --> 00:23:04,042
Maybe it's too much for them.
Many new faces.
188
00:23:04,167 --> 00:23:06,626
Your dad doesn't know them
that well either.
189
00:23:09,084 --> 00:23:10,584
Did you say they couldn't come?
190
00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,917
That's really mean.
191
00:23:36,209 --> 00:23:37,501
Mum?
192
00:23:41,876 --> 00:23:43,751
Mum?
193
00:24:23,626 --> 00:24:24,834
Anja!
194
00:24:27,376 --> 00:24:28,501
Are you there?
195
00:24:36,417 --> 00:24:37,751
May I come in?
196
00:24:40,001 --> 00:24:41,001
Please?
197
00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:54,334
I can't keep it a secret.
198
00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:02,751
You don't have to love me just because I'm
dying. But I need to know you'll help me.
199
00:25:19,709 --> 00:25:21,417
We're useless at sticking together.
200
00:25:23,334 --> 00:25:25,167
We always have been.
201
00:25:31,417 --> 00:25:34,251
We couldn't even stick together
when times were good.
202
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:45,792
I don't want the kids to remember us
like this when I'm gone.
203
00:25:48,917 --> 00:25:51,126
Like I remember my parents,
and you remember yours.
204
00:25:53,876 --> 00:25:55,876
I want to give them
something else to believe in.
205
00:26:11,876 --> 00:26:14,209
I can't do it on my own.
You have to help me.
206
00:26:22,667 --> 00:26:25,376
- Get out!
- We just need a breather.
207
00:26:26,834 --> 00:26:30,626
- Get out of the couch, I said!
- Do we have to?
208
00:26:30,792 --> 00:26:33,626
Yes, Julie. For once in your life.
209
00:26:34,792 --> 00:26:39,792
My god, we've never been to church
on Christmas Eve before. What about Simon?
210
00:26:40,334 --> 00:26:44,501
- He's an atheist. You can't force him.
- Atheist or not.
211
00:26:44,584 --> 00:26:46,334
Get out if you want dinner later.
212
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:49,917
- Grandpa's waiting.
- OK.
213
00:26:57,334 --> 00:27:01,251
Am I speaking with the oncologist on duty?
Yes, I'm a patient.
214
00:27:02,834 --> 00:27:04,126
Anja Richter.
215
00:27:10,251 --> 00:27:15,084
I'm afraid.
My head feels like it's about to explode.
216
00:27:16,959 --> 00:27:19,084
No, I've never had anxiety like this.
217
00:27:22,542 --> 00:27:26,126
I'm nauseous absolutely all the time.
218
00:27:26,917 --> 00:27:30,001
I've got relentless stomach cramps.
219
00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:32,876
And I can't sleep at all.
220
00:27:37,042 --> 00:27:39,167
No, I don't want to go to hospital.
221
00:27:39,709 --> 00:27:43,542
But I don't know how long
I can go on pretending.
222
00:27:43,667 --> 00:27:49,459
Is there anyone there in the meantime
who can help me break it to the children?
223
00:27:50,292 --> 00:27:51,376
Yes?
224
00:28:11,917 --> 00:28:14,126
- How do you feel?
- Blind.
225
00:28:27,876 --> 00:28:30,376
- You look nice.
- Thanks.
226
00:28:51,876 --> 00:28:54,751
No, no, no. Put it away.
227
00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:58,959
Wait. Take the starters.
It'll be ready in a moment.
228
00:28:59,959 --> 00:29:04,334
I just need a tiny piece of ham.
It's just décor, right?
229
00:29:04,459 --> 00:29:08,126
- Dad?
- Grandpa?
230
00:29:08,251 --> 00:29:11,876
- So tell me, how was church?
- The sermon was ridiculous.
231
00:29:12,709 --> 00:29:15,959
So farfetched it was almost funny.
232
00:29:16,084 --> 00:29:21,709
- I just recruited an atheist! Any others?
- Poor preacher. She was so nervous.
233
00:29:21,834 --> 00:29:24,709
No wonder, with that bowl haircut.
234
00:29:27,751 --> 00:29:31,876
- I don't think it'll become a tradition.
- Probably not.
235
00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:35,917
Here's to Christmas… and Grandpa!
236
00:29:36,042 --> 00:29:39,167
Cheers!
237
00:29:39,292 --> 00:29:41,834
Merry Christmas!
238
00:29:44,084 --> 00:29:45,459
And here's to Anja.
239
00:29:48,876 --> 00:29:51,834
Back in great shape. Cheers.
240
00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:56,084
- Cheers!
- Cheers, Mum!
241
00:30:06,334 --> 00:30:10,709
- We want everyone in the picture.
- Make room for Grandpa.
242
00:30:12,501 --> 00:30:16,667
- Come here.
- Mum will sit there. Just move over there.
243
00:30:17,667 --> 00:30:20,542
- Sit down as well, Tomas.
- No.
244
00:30:20,667 --> 00:30:23,834
You sit in the middle.
I'll take care of it.
245
00:30:24,709 --> 00:30:25,917
Sit in the middle.
246
00:30:29,501 --> 00:30:32,126
Looks great. Let me see…
247
00:30:33,459 --> 00:30:37,251
- A, F, E…
- May I?
248
00:30:37,376 --> 00:30:41,584
- You sure are bossy, Martin.
- True enough.
249
00:30:41,709 --> 00:30:43,251
Sit next to Anja, OK?
250
00:30:48,709 --> 00:30:50,959
Everyone ready?
251
00:30:52,251 --> 00:30:55,334
Five, four, two, three!
252
00:30:56,126 --> 00:30:57,292
One!
253
00:30:58,876 --> 00:31:00,126
Smile.
254
00:31:09,209 --> 00:31:13,001
Well, there's one last present. No card.
255
00:31:13,126 --> 00:31:15,292
It's for Mum.
256
00:31:19,417 --> 00:31:21,209
- Can I open it?
- Sure.
257
00:31:35,292 --> 00:31:36,459
"India"?
258
00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:44,667
It says you're getting
259
00:31:45,626 --> 00:31:47,542
a trip to India.
260
00:31:48,667 --> 00:31:50,626
- From Dad.
- Wow.
261
00:31:51,084 --> 00:31:54,376
- Haven't you always wanted to go there?
- Yes.
262
00:31:55,876 --> 00:32:00,042
- Can I come with you? As your Sherpa?
- Nice move, Erlend.
263
00:32:00,167 --> 00:32:02,667
So it'll be you and Mum?
264
00:32:02,792 --> 00:32:04,501
Are you going together, or…?
265
00:32:06,126 --> 00:32:08,084
Well, that's up to her.
266
00:32:09,126 --> 00:32:10,501
What's a Sherpa?
267
00:32:11,042 --> 00:32:14,584
It's like a tour guide.
268
00:32:17,417 --> 00:32:19,834
Are you coming?
269
00:32:26,167 --> 00:32:28,042
Dad? My turn.
270
00:32:28,167 --> 00:32:30,376
No, no, no!
271
00:32:36,584 --> 00:32:39,084
You're nuts! No!
272
00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:42,709
- Come on, Mum!
- Mum, come!
273
00:32:43,084 --> 00:32:45,917
- No, Mum!
- No!
274
00:32:48,876 --> 00:32:51,251
I'll throw up!
275
00:32:51,376 --> 00:32:54,709
- Hey, come on, Grandpa!
- Nope.
276
00:33:11,459 --> 00:33:12,501
Here.
277
00:33:13,751 --> 00:33:15,167
Do you have everything you need?
278
00:33:17,042 --> 00:33:22,001
- Was your evening as good as mine?
- It was a lovely Christmas Eve.
279
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:25,667
- But…
- Goodnight, Dad.
280
00:33:26,376 --> 00:33:27,667
Are the two of you struggling?
281
00:33:29,626 --> 00:33:33,292
I do wish that you and Tomas
282
00:33:34,459 --> 00:33:36,501
were happier together.
283
00:33:42,292 --> 00:33:45,959
We do what we like.
What we do best. We work.
284
00:33:46,667 --> 00:33:48,376
At least I try to work.
285
00:33:50,584 --> 00:33:52,834
I guess we're as happy as we deserve.
286
00:33:53,876 --> 00:33:55,042
Well, Anja…
287
00:33:57,167 --> 00:34:01,626
You choose the life you get
to a great degree.
288
00:34:07,709 --> 00:34:10,334
I'll never be able to go to India.
289
00:34:13,417 --> 00:34:14,709
You don't know that yet.
290
00:34:16,292 --> 00:34:18,667
I can't even read about India.
291
00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:22,251
I can read for you.
292
00:34:26,251 --> 00:34:27,751
I had this great-aunt.
293
00:34:30,959 --> 00:34:32,792
She used to tell her husband:
294
00:34:33,459 --> 00:34:36,751
"When one of us dies,
I'm going to travel the world!"
295
00:34:48,334 --> 00:34:53,542
Have you never imagined
I could die before you?
296
00:34:59,542 --> 00:35:01,042
Of course I have.
297
00:35:06,459 --> 00:35:09,917
Christmas Day
298
00:35:33,709 --> 00:35:37,417
Yes, I'm excited.
It'll be fun.
299
00:35:39,542 --> 00:35:44,126
No, me first. It's my turn!
300
00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:49,376
Isak! Come in! Ready to party?
301
00:35:49,501 --> 00:35:53,251
Hi, Erlend. Hi, Leif Martin.
302
00:35:53,376 --> 00:35:57,667
We followed the sound of Christmas carols.
303
00:35:58,792 --> 00:36:01,001
Thanks. Hi.
304
00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:03,751
- Survived Christmas?
- Yes. Did you?
305
00:36:03,876 --> 00:36:07,084
I'm OK, but Arthur and Christmas…
306
00:36:07,209 --> 00:36:08,667
I love Christmas.
307
00:36:10,042 --> 00:36:14,501
You can hang it there.
Congratulations on the great reviews!
308
00:36:21,501 --> 00:36:24,459
We won't stay if it's too much for you.
309
00:36:25,376 --> 00:36:28,959
If it gets tough,
we'll stick together.
310
00:36:29,709 --> 00:36:33,834
- OK. Go on in. I need to take my Medrol.
- Are you sure?
311
00:36:33,959 --> 00:36:35,626
Yes, I won't be long.
312
00:37:00,167 --> 00:37:01,834
They're dying of thirst.
313
00:37:05,126 --> 00:37:06,292
Did you see the doctor?
314
00:37:07,792 --> 00:37:11,459
- Should I be worried? Everything OK?
- Yes.
315
00:37:12,334 --> 00:37:15,834
That's great. You see? Hey…
316
00:37:16,292 --> 00:37:18,501
Your father is so proud of you.
317
00:37:19,084 --> 00:37:23,167
Really. But you haven't told him
anything about the show.
318
00:37:23,501 --> 00:37:29,001
Not Tomas either. I told him everything.
About the festival invitations.
319
00:37:29,126 --> 00:37:33,417
The grant for the new project.
They're so proud of you, both of them.
320
00:37:35,417 --> 00:37:38,209
Why haven't you told them? Huh?
321
00:37:42,751 --> 00:37:43,876
Thanks.
322
00:37:45,376 --> 00:37:47,667
- Come on. Vera's waiting.
- I'm coming.
323
00:38:05,626 --> 00:38:07,876
- Anja!
- Hi.
324
00:38:09,042 --> 00:38:12,751
Oh gosh. What is it about me
that turns Pollock on?
325
00:38:13,834 --> 00:38:15,584
You're in heat.
326
00:38:16,001 --> 00:38:19,917
You're embarrassing me.
Stop it!
327
00:38:21,251 --> 00:38:23,709
- How was Amsterdam?
- Great.
328
00:38:24,042 --> 00:38:26,001
Let's go outside. Come.
329
00:38:35,501 --> 00:38:37,001
Oh my god!
330
00:38:37,626 --> 00:38:41,626
If only that mutt Pollock
had been human,
331
00:38:41,751 --> 00:38:43,959
there'd be hope for me too.
332
00:38:44,084 --> 00:38:47,334
I can't find anyone who's single.
333
00:38:48,334 --> 00:38:52,001
They're either married, gay or minors.
334
00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:56,709
Enough about me.
Tell me about Amsterdam.
335
00:39:02,084 --> 00:39:03,334
It's spread.
336
00:39:07,751 --> 00:39:09,792
To the brain. It's incurable.
337
00:39:13,709 --> 00:39:17,459
My doctor says I should pray
for a miracle. No one survives.
338
00:39:21,167 --> 00:39:24,084
We'll know more in a couple of days.
339
00:39:28,042 --> 00:39:30,167
- Can't they do anything?
- No.
340
00:39:34,834 --> 00:39:36,126
You sure?
341
00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:38,917
Pretty much.
342
00:39:39,376 --> 00:39:42,876
They just don't dare say so until all
the specialists have examined the images.
343
00:40:00,126 --> 00:40:01,542
Jesus Christ.
344
00:40:02,209 --> 00:40:03,751
It's so unfair.
345
00:40:06,167 --> 00:40:08,959
If it had only… been me.
346
00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:12,792
Or Arthur or Tomas.
347
00:40:14,626 --> 00:40:16,126
I don't have kids.
348
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:23,459
You've been alone with everything.
Tomas, he…
349
00:40:25,459 --> 00:40:28,667
- The kids need you more than him.
- Don't say that.
350
00:40:29,042 --> 00:40:32,584
- Just when it's your turn to…
- Stop it, Vera.
351
00:40:49,626 --> 00:40:50,792
What can I do?
352
00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:56,292
For you? For all of you?
353
00:41:02,042 --> 00:41:03,251
I don't know.
354
00:41:04,667 --> 00:41:06,751
I don't even know how to tell the kids.
355
00:41:11,042 --> 00:41:12,709
Only you and Tomas know.
356
00:41:13,917 --> 00:41:17,251
What does he say?
How's he taking it?
357
00:41:19,626 --> 00:41:21,459
I don't know.
358
00:41:26,876 --> 00:41:28,167
I haven't asked.
359
00:41:40,542 --> 00:41:42,626
I thought it was supposed to be a secret?
360
00:41:46,042 --> 00:41:47,626
Does Arthur know as well?
361
00:41:50,542 --> 00:41:51,584
No.
362
00:41:52,751 --> 00:41:54,959
It isn't always easy to help you, Anja.
363
00:44:21,667 --> 00:44:22,876
Anja…
364
00:44:24,792 --> 00:44:26,042
Anja.
365
00:44:26,917 --> 00:44:30,042
Anja! Anja!
366
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:31,876
Anja!
367
00:45:00,417 --> 00:45:01,709
There.
368
00:45:10,334 --> 00:45:14,292
Second day of Christmas
369
00:45:15,417 --> 00:45:19,126
- Thanks for now.
- Let me take your suitcase.
370
00:45:19,251 --> 00:45:20,667
I can cope.
371
00:45:22,584 --> 00:45:25,917
I'm no use if I can't even
carry my own suitcase.
372
00:45:26,792 --> 00:45:28,084
No.
373
00:45:41,834 --> 00:45:46,459
- Thanks. I'm going to the airport express.
- I'll get the door for you.
374
00:45:47,667 --> 00:45:50,084
- Have a nice trip!
- Thank you.
375
00:46:18,834 --> 00:46:20,042
What are you doing?
376
00:46:23,167 --> 00:46:27,417
- Are the boys asleep?
- Yes, in front of a bad Christmas movie.
377
00:46:33,584 --> 00:46:35,001
You can go to bed.
378
00:46:35,917 --> 00:46:37,959
I'll stay up until Julie comes home.
379
00:46:39,959 --> 00:46:43,167
No, I can't sleep anyway. I can stay up.
380
00:46:44,959 --> 00:46:47,542
Oh, I hate Medrol!
381
00:46:47,834 --> 00:46:51,209
I feel so high.
Like I'll never come back down.
382
00:47:00,751 --> 00:47:03,084
- It's so weird.
- What is?
383
00:47:04,042 --> 00:47:07,459
Before, if I tried to describe my life…
384
00:47:09,292 --> 00:47:12,292
My memories were never
in the right order, like…
385
00:47:13,626 --> 00:47:19,709
They were always tied to places I'd lived,
boyfriends I'd had, dance projects,
386
00:47:19,792 --> 00:47:22,959
journeys, childbirths, deaths.
387
00:47:26,917 --> 00:47:29,084
But I never remembered
what the years were.
388
00:47:30,001 --> 00:47:33,084
But now, when I see the end…
389
00:47:34,084 --> 00:47:37,501
My life's laid out in chronological order.
390
00:47:39,417 --> 00:47:40,751
Almost like…
391
00:47:41,834 --> 00:47:45,834
A PowerPoint presentation
with a graphic timeline.
392
00:47:47,584 --> 00:47:49,876
Where the middle of my life is like…
393
00:47:51,126 --> 00:47:56,292
It looks like this thick gray graph
394
00:47:56,834 --> 00:47:58,292
of postpartum apathy.
395
00:48:06,042 --> 00:48:08,876
So how do I feature in the graphics?
396
00:48:11,834 --> 00:48:14,626
- Like a dot?
- No.
397
00:48:17,292 --> 00:48:18,917
Like many dots.
398
00:48:20,126 --> 00:48:22,959
Coming and going on the timeline.
399
00:48:27,459 --> 00:48:30,167
Right. Uplifting.
400
00:48:34,876 --> 00:48:37,959
Julie? Hi.
401
00:48:38,501 --> 00:48:39,584
Hi.
402
00:48:41,042 --> 00:48:42,251
Are you OK?
403
00:48:43,876 --> 00:48:45,001
Sure.
404
00:48:45,917 --> 00:48:47,292
What are you doing here?
405
00:48:51,626 --> 00:48:54,959
Hi. Why are you home so early?
Wasn't it any fun?
406
00:48:57,251 --> 00:49:00,376
Oh, sure.
It was fun.
407
00:49:03,542 --> 00:49:05,251
I really have to pee.
408
00:49:18,501 --> 00:49:21,459
- It's not the first time.
- Oh, hush.
409
00:49:21,959 --> 00:49:23,751
She's adventurous.
410
00:49:25,584 --> 00:49:27,917
Lusts for life. Like you.
411
00:49:30,709 --> 00:49:32,709
She's got you under her thumb.
412
00:49:34,251 --> 00:49:35,292
Yes.
413
00:49:37,376 --> 00:49:39,501
Promise me you'll take good care of her.
414
00:49:43,917 --> 00:49:45,042
I will.
415
00:49:46,001 --> 00:49:48,167
December 27
416
00:49:48,292 --> 00:49:50,917
I'll be there as soon as I can. OK, bye.
417
00:49:51,376 --> 00:49:53,959
- Yes?
- The images from Aleris.
418
00:49:54,042 --> 00:49:58,292
Thank you. The team
will review them tomorrow morning.
419
00:49:59,042 --> 00:50:05,167
We need some advice about what to tell
the children. We need to prepare them.
420
00:50:05,542 --> 00:50:09,876
Yes, it says so in your medical record.
It's not a good time.
421
00:50:10,001 --> 00:50:13,751
The specialist nurse
won't be back until January.
422
00:50:13,876 --> 00:50:15,959
Titles aren't that important.
423
00:50:18,834 --> 00:50:22,959
Yes? I'm on my way. I see.
Like I said, I'm sorry.
424
00:50:23,959 --> 00:50:28,667
- Is there no one here with experience?
- Not during the holidays.
425
00:50:28,792 --> 00:50:33,209
Don't people die during the holidays?
Do you ask them to wait?
426
00:50:33,376 --> 00:50:38,334
I'm sure you see the challenge,
with so many children involved.
427
00:50:38,459 --> 00:50:43,376
Not getting any certainty, no help.
Someone must be qualified.
428
00:50:43,501 --> 00:50:46,792
- Not like that. We're specialized.
- But you are human?
429
00:50:47,459 --> 00:50:51,334
Don't you have any experience
with next of kin?
430
00:50:51,459 --> 00:50:55,959
I realize this is difficult.
We've made out a prescription
431
00:50:56,084 --> 00:50:59,251
for sleeping pills and a sedative.
432
00:50:59,376 --> 00:51:02,042
It'll help you relax. OK? I'm sorry.
433
00:51:11,209 --> 00:51:16,917
Hi. Welcome to Hospice Lovisenberg.
My name is Bente, I'm a nurse.
434
00:51:17,042 --> 00:51:20,459
- Hi.
- Hi. Welcome. Let's go in there.
435
00:51:28,084 --> 00:51:32,501
Well, my advice is to not shield
the children from the truth.
436
00:51:32,667 --> 00:51:37,501
But try to convey it to them according to
their age and maturity.
437
00:51:38,417 --> 00:51:43,792
Your children won't be as vulnerable
as the children you have together.
438
00:51:43,876 --> 00:51:46,001
Because they'll still have a mother.
439
00:51:47,167 --> 00:51:51,584
Anja has taken responsibility
for my three oldest children too.
440
00:51:52,001 --> 00:51:55,292
She's a key part of their lives, it's…
441
00:51:55,376 --> 00:52:00,334
Tomas. That's not how it works.
The youngest kids will lose their mother.
442
00:52:00,876 --> 00:52:04,751
They're all I think about
and care about protecting right now.
443
00:52:05,834 --> 00:52:11,126
You always expected me to feel and act
the same way to your kids as to our kids.
444
00:52:11,501 --> 00:52:15,709
Not just treat them equally,
but feel equally about all of them.
445
00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:21,376
I always thought it was the natural thing,
that I was unnatural and heartless.
446
00:52:22,292 --> 00:52:26,376
It's never been clearer to me
how misguided I was.
447
00:52:26,917 --> 00:52:29,001
I've always loved my own more.
448
00:53:09,167 --> 00:53:12,792
It's like we're at work together.
In a whole new field.
449
00:53:16,459 --> 00:53:20,876
- This doesn't look like a hospital.
- That's what you said last Christmas.
450
00:53:22,001 --> 00:53:27,751
I often say you should give children
10% more hope than you have yourself.
451
00:53:28,792 --> 00:53:32,709
No matter what age, you should never
take their hope away.
452
00:53:34,709 --> 00:53:39,459
- But I haven't been given any hope.
- We don't know that for sure.
453
00:53:39,584 --> 00:53:42,792
They say it's probably a metastatic tumour.
454
00:53:42,917 --> 00:53:46,417
It's incurable,
but they hope it's operable.
455
00:53:46,959 --> 00:53:48,667
OK. Good.
456
00:53:49,167 --> 00:53:52,542
And they have highly competent
neurosurgeons at Ullevål.
457
00:53:54,751 --> 00:53:58,834
And all statistics
should be read with caution.
458
00:53:59,876 --> 00:54:00,959
Meaning?
459
00:54:01,709 --> 00:54:05,459
A patient with lung cancer
and brain metastasis
460
00:54:05,584 --> 00:54:08,334
has little chance of survival
in statistical terms.
461
00:54:08,417 --> 00:54:14,417
But in my three decades in the field,
I've seen patients
462
00:54:14,542 --> 00:54:17,667
who have survived brain metastases.
463
00:54:18,292 --> 00:54:22,542
They're just too few to show up
in the cancer statistics.
464
00:54:23,459 --> 00:54:24,626
How many?
465
00:54:26,792 --> 00:54:28,876
I can count them on one hand.
466
00:54:41,959 --> 00:54:45,042
Can I really just call him at home?
467
00:54:47,042 --> 00:54:49,876
Wouldn't I be jumping in line?
468
00:54:52,209 --> 00:54:55,292
This isn't a good time
to be politically correct.
469
00:55:04,084 --> 00:55:07,209
- Do you want me to call him?
- No.
470
00:55:07,417 --> 00:55:08,751
That wouldn't be right.
471
00:55:10,501 --> 00:55:12,417
I've made a few calls, asked around.
472
00:55:13,292 --> 00:55:17,042
He's said to be the best neurosurgeon,
not just at Ullevål, but in Norway.
473
00:55:24,751 --> 00:55:28,459
- OK, I'll do it. But I want to be alone.
- OK.
474
00:55:28,584 --> 00:55:30,001
I'll wait outside.
475
00:55:31,209 --> 00:55:32,834
Can I borrow your eyes first?
476
00:55:44,001 --> 00:55:45,001
Good luck.
477
00:55:58,917 --> 00:56:00,167
Hi.
478
00:56:01,751 --> 00:56:04,334
You don't know who I am.
My name is Anja Richter.
479
00:56:07,959 --> 00:56:10,001
Am I interrupting anything?
480
00:56:10,501 --> 00:56:12,209
Right. OK.
481
00:56:13,084 --> 00:56:16,626
I'm a patient at Ullevål
in a difficult situation.
482
00:56:44,584 --> 00:56:48,542
He was at a Christmas party, but
will perform the surgery if it's possible.
483
00:57:08,417 --> 00:57:11,542
I mean it. That's enough.
484
00:57:13,459 --> 00:57:15,251
There. Stay down.
485
00:57:18,876 --> 00:57:20,209
They're waiting for us.
486
00:57:22,542 --> 00:57:26,459
Dad, Mum's tired of us
always being late, and…
487
00:57:26,584 --> 00:57:29,542
Everyone has to be here.
Just tell her
488
00:57:30,459 --> 00:57:31,876
that it's a family crisis.
489
00:57:37,751 --> 00:57:40,876
- You're breaking up?
- No.
490
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:44,459
No, Ada. We're not breaking up.
491
00:58:03,292 --> 00:58:05,709
- Who should start?
- I'll do it.
492
00:58:06,459 --> 00:58:07,751
OK.
493
00:58:09,876 --> 00:58:11,042
Good.
494
00:58:21,126 --> 00:58:22,709
Gather around the couch.
495
00:58:34,376 --> 00:58:35,917
Right, Anja…
496
00:58:38,376 --> 00:58:42,667
- Are we having a family council?
- Sort of.
497
00:58:47,334 --> 00:58:52,084
I've been informed that I have
a tumour in my brain.
498
00:58:55,792 --> 00:59:00,459
It's most likely spread from my lungs.
499
00:59:03,584 --> 00:59:09,001
The good news is that the tumour is seated
where they think it might be operable.
500
00:59:13,501 --> 00:59:16,167
Well, they say it's serious, but…
501
00:59:17,376 --> 00:59:19,042
We still don't know what
the outcome will be.
502
00:59:21,001 --> 00:59:23,209
We'll find out more
at the hospital tomorrow.
503
00:59:30,501 --> 00:59:33,417
They're going to operate on your head?
504
00:59:40,584 --> 00:59:42,334
Inside your brain?
505
00:59:42,917 --> 00:59:44,917
Yes, maybe.
506
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:51,959
The good news is that if they do operate,
I'll have the best surgeon in the country.
507
00:59:55,876 --> 00:59:57,042
But…
508
00:59:57,876 --> 01:00:01,876
Last Christmas you told us
that everything would be OK.
509
01:00:04,542 --> 01:00:07,042
Everyone thought so.
The doctors as well.
510
01:00:08,167 --> 01:00:11,584
But despite that, this happened.
511
01:00:13,084 --> 01:00:18,334
We spoke to a doctor today
who knew of several similar cases
512
01:00:18,667 --> 01:00:20,084
that had gone well.
513
01:00:21,584 --> 01:00:24,542
- Were there many?
- Quite a few.
514
01:00:32,667 --> 01:00:33,917
The milk.
515
01:01:07,417 --> 01:01:10,292
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
516
01:01:12,626 --> 01:01:13,917
Bye.
517
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:54,542
I'm sorry.
518
01:01:57,876 --> 01:01:59,042
Sorry for what?
519
01:02:01,917 --> 01:02:03,376
Sorry for being so mean.
520
01:02:07,209 --> 01:02:09,251
You have nothing to apologize for.
521
01:02:11,876 --> 01:02:14,334
- I do.
- No.
522
01:02:19,501 --> 01:02:20,584
Sure?
523
01:02:22,959 --> 01:02:24,459
Absolutely sure.
524
01:02:36,959 --> 01:02:40,251
- I'll never forgive myself.
- For what?
525
01:02:42,292 --> 01:02:45,167
- For being a smoker.
- Don't say that.
526
01:02:49,084 --> 01:02:52,126
No one knows
that that's the reason.
527
01:02:52,251 --> 01:02:54,917
- But I know.
- Stop torturing yourself.
528
01:03:02,292 --> 01:03:03,626
What are you taking?
529
01:03:06,167 --> 01:03:08,876
Vival and Imovane…
530
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:19,376
December 28
531
01:03:19,626 --> 01:03:23,584
I brought some extra clothes just in case.
532
01:03:24,417 --> 01:03:27,876
And some proper coffee.
I don't really like that instant stuff.
533
01:03:29,209 --> 01:03:32,959
- Where are the kids?
- They're still sleeping.
534
01:03:52,917 --> 01:03:57,626
- Nothing eases the nausea except food.
- It's the medication, steroids.
535
01:03:58,292 --> 01:04:02,584
- The same stuff they give to anorectics.
- How do you know?
536
01:04:03,167 --> 01:04:06,001
My new online friend, PubMed.com.
537
01:04:06,751 --> 01:04:08,084
Good morning.
538
01:04:09,209 --> 01:04:10,792
Hi.
539
01:04:12,167 --> 01:04:13,251
Good morning.
540
01:04:17,792 --> 01:04:18,959
Good morning.
541
01:04:20,292 --> 01:04:23,501
We're going to the hospital.
Vera will stay here with you.
542
01:04:25,834 --> 01:04:27,542
Hi. Good morning.
543
01:04:40,751 --> 01:04:42,126
Knut Åsdam?
544
01:04:47,459 --> 01:04:51,417
Hi. I'm Dr. Thea Falkentorp.
Please come with me.
545
01:05:01,292 --> 01:05:05,792
I realize that you're anxious,
so I'll get straight to the point.
546
01:05:06,709 --> 01:05:12,126
The specialists have held a meeting
and studied your MRI images.
547
01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:19,501
We've given your brain surgery top
priority and scheduled it on 2 January.
548
01:05:20,376 --> 01:05:21,584
In five days.
549
01:05:23,334 --> 01:05:27,751
I understand you've contacted
a surgeon here at the hospital,
550
01:05:27,876 --> 01:05:30,792
and that he's agreed
to perform the surgery.
551
01:05:34,959 --> 01:05:38,334
The images also show that the tumour
552
01:05:39,126 --> 01:05:43,126
is a metastasis from the lungs.
553
01:05:44,876 --> 01:05:46,542
That makes it incurable.
554
01:06:00,001 --> 01:06:01,667
So how much time do I have left?
555
01:06:04,584 --> 01:06:09,584
It's very hard to determine.
Cancer is like peeling an onion.
556
01:06:10,292 --> 01:06:12,001
- An onion?
- Yes.
557
01:06:12,084 --> 01:06:17,834
The picture is complicated.
It depends on the outcome of the surgery.
558
01:06:18,459 --> 01:06:21,417
The result of the CAT scan
of your lungs today
559
01:06:22,001 --> 01:06:26,084
will reveal whether it's spread
to other organs in the body.
560
01:06:27,292 --> 01:06:30,542
They'll determine your treatment
moving forward.
561
01:06:34,376 --> 01:06:38,292
Could you be more specific?
This isn't just about me.
562
01:06:40,417 --> 01:06:41,626
I need to…
563
01:06:43,584 --> 01:06:49,042
I need to know the worst possible outcome
to find out how to prepare the children.
564
01:06:50,542 --> 01:06:51,667
Anja…
565
01:06:52,876 --> 01:06:55,626
All cancer patients are different.
566
01:06:56,459 --> 01:07:02,417
There are some who refuse to face reality.
It's too exhausting.
567
01:07:02,501 --> 01:07:07,084
Fine, but I want to know.
How much time do I have left?
568
01:07:10,001 --> 01:07:12,667
In the worst case,
I'd say three months.
569
01:07:13,917 --> 01:07:17,834
But we hope the operation
will give you more than that.
570
01:07:27,876 --> 01:07:30,292
Is the operation itself dangerous?
571
01:07:31,084 --> 01:07:34,917
All operations involve a certain risk,
brain surgery in particular.
572
01:07:36,084 --> 01:07:39,084
The surgeon is more qualified
to answer that question.
573
01:07:45,417 --> 01:07:47,709
Can you get married before the surgery?
574
01:07:51,459 --> 01:07:53,792
Married? Well, yes.
575
01:07:53,917 --> 01:07:59,751
We do have a hospital chaplain
who can perform weddings.
576
01:07:59,876 --> 01:08:04,251
Normally, with all the paperwork,
I'm not sure it would be possible.
577
01:08:04,792 --> 01:08:07,501
But there's room for exceptions.
578
01:08:12,417 --> 01:08:14,376
Was that a proposal?
579
01:08:19,709 --> 01:08:22,001
I don't understand why
you want to do it now.
580
01:08:23,417 --> 01:08:24,876
I thought you wanted to.
581
01:08:26,251 --> 01:08:29,001
Years ago, sure.
But why now?
582
01:08:36,167 --> 01:08:37,542
It just feels…
583
01:08:39,459 --> 01:08:42,126
Like signing a death warrant.
584
01:08:46,626 --> 01:08:49,417
Otherwise we could have waited
until after the operation.
585
01:08:53,501 --> 01:08:58,042
It just feels right.
It's the only thing that feels right.
586
01:09:02,834 --> 01:09:04,334
If we're going to get married…
587
01:09:05,626 --> 01:09:07,126
We both have to love each other.
588
01:09:24,751 --> 01:09:26,084
The dentist.
589
01:09:29,376 --> 01:09:30,376
Hello?
590
01:09:33,459 --> 01:09:34,584
Right.
591
01:09:35,834 --> 01:09:39,042
No, I don't need an appointment.
My teeth don't matter.
592
01:09:39,876 --> 01:09:41,917
I have terminal cancer.
593
01:09:42,542 --> 01:09:44,167
You can just delete me from your list.
594
01:09:52,417 --> 01:09:54,417
Breathe in.
595
01:09:54,542 --> 01:09:56,334
Hold your breath.
596
01:09:58,834 --> 01:10:00,751
Breathe normally.
597
01:10:01,667 --> 01:10:05,751
- Can you breathe?
- It's like a burning claw around my chest.
598
01:10:06,792 --> 01:10:09,292
Try to breathe calmly and deeply.
599
01:10:10,417 --> 01:10:11,876
Breathe with your belly.
600
01:10:14,042 --> 01:10:17,459
Are you more relaxed now?
Breathe with your belly.
601
01:10:19,459 --> 01:10:23,917
It'll be fine. You can do it.
You'll get the answers you need.
602
01:10:24,042 --> 01:10:26,376
We'll roll you in and start.
603
01:10:38,042 --> 01:10:40,459
I don't know.
604
01:10:40,584 --> 01:10:46,709
I don't know what's the medication, what's
her fear of dying, and what's just Anja.
605
01:10:47,001 --> 01:10:50,834
She's so volatile and intense.
606
01:10:51,834 --> 01:10:55,917
As if she didn't have enough energy
to begin with. I don't know.
607
01:10:59,167 --> 01:11:01,459
Yes, she's here now. I have to go.
608
01:11:03,126 --> 01:11:05,209
I will. Bye.
609
01:11:07,667 --> 01:11:09,001
How did it go?
610
01:11:12,126 --> 01:11:13,542
Not too good?
611
01:11:15,334 --> 01:11:16,792
Who was that?
612
01:11:17,542 --> 01:11:20,001
I'm calling friends and family.
Like we agreed.
613
01:11:22,001 --> 01:11:23,334
That was Frans.
614
01:11:25,751 --> 01:11:27,167
What about Dad?
615
01:11:28,792 --> 01:11:31,209
He's the only one
I think you have to call yourself.
616
01:11:33,251 --> 01:11:34,334
I can't do it.
617
01:11:37,042 --> 01:11:38,167
OK.
618
01:11:39,542 --> 01:11:40,959
What are people saying?
619
01:11:43,251 --> 01:11:46,167
Well, that they don't know what to say.
620
01:11:47,042 --> 01:11:50,126
They feel sorry for you and the kids.
621
01:11:50,959 --> 01:11:53,751
Frans told me to say he's thinking of you.
622
01:11:55,334 --> 01:12:00,251
- Was that all he had to say?
- No.
623
01:12:00,376 --> 01:12:05,292
He said he's sorry for me too,
having to take care of all the kids alone.
624
01:12:49,501 --> 01:12:50,917
It wasn't a problem.
625
01:12:52,042 --> 01:12:54,709
I managed to postpone
the production indefinitely.
626
01:12:57,917 --> 01:12:59,042
Hey…
627
01:13:00,334 --> 01:13:03,709
I need to know.
Have you been faithful?
628
01:13:07,459 --> 01:13:10,126
I'd like to know if there
have been others while we have…
629
01:13:12,334 --> 01:13:15,084
It wouldn't be a big deal,
so don't be afraid to tell me.
630
01:13:19,209 --> 01:13:22,834
Think of it as my last wish.
A truthful exchange.
631
01:13:23,501 --> 01:13:26,209
- Is this a good idea?
- Does it have to be?
632
01:13:36,251 --> 01:13:38,167
I had a flirt. A fling.
633
01:13:39,084 --> 01:13:41,167
Completely idiotic and meaningless.
634
01:13:42,209 --> 01:13:45,376
Quickly done and quickly forgotten.
Many years ago.
635
01:13:46,667 --> 01:13:48,001
During a job in Germany.
636
01:13:52,667 --> 01:13:53,751
I remember.
637
01:13:56,501 --> 01:13:58,459
Your fling sent you a present, right?
638
01:14:01,084 --> 01:14:05,709
The ugliest leather jacket ever.
639
01:14:05,834 --> 01:14:07,126
Stone-washed.
640
01:14:08,376 --> 01:14:09,959
She'd designed it herself.
641
01:14:14,209 --> 01:14:15,792
I didn't know you knew.
642
01:14:17,001 --> 01:14:20,417
The funny thing was,
I wasn't jealous at all.
643
01:14:21,334 --> 01:14:25,334
I was immersed in Julie, my baby.
644
01:14:28,292 --> 01:14:31,126
But what really drove me crazy
with jealously,
645
01:14:31,876 --> 01:14:36,501
was your work and your endless
need for acknowledgment.
646
01:14:37,626 --> 01:14:39,501
It's been my greatest rival.
647
01:14:40,959 --> 01:14:47,167
I thought it was unfair you got to work
so much, kept producing all the time.
648
01:14:49,667 --> 01:14:51,292
But it's no longer important.
649
01:14:55,626 --> 01:14:56,792
Any more?
650
01:14:57,834 --> 01:15:00,209
- Anything else to confess?
- No.
651
01:15:03,126 --> 01:15:04,792
Aren't you curious about me?
652
01:15:15,709 --> 01:15:17,292
I'm not sure I want to know.
653
01:15:19,876 --> 01:15:21,126
You can relax.
654
01:15:22,417 --> 01:15:24,542
I've been so faithful it's ridiculous.
655
01:15:26,126 --> 01:15:28,292
All I've kissed is our kids' necks.
656
01:15:32,709 --> 01:15:34,542
But I've seen something
much more dangerous.
657
01:15:36,459 --> 01:15:38,167
I fell truly in love.
658
01:15:40,792 --> 01:15:44,376
If I'd followed my heart,
I wouldn't have been here now.
659
01:15:52,876 --> 01:15:54,251
Do you regret it?
660
01:15:57,792 --> 01:15:58,834
No.
661
01:15:59,501 --> 01:16:00,917
He wouldn't have been worth it.
662
01:16:07,209 --> 01:16:08,834
Should we get home to the kids?
663
01:16:11,709 --> 01:16:13,001
Yes.
664
01:16:16,334 --> 01:16:17,417
One more thing.
665
01:16:19,834 --> 01:16:23,292
I take back what I said
about you finding someone else.
666
01:16:41,626 --> 01:16:42,751
Hello!
667
01:16:44,042 --> 01:16:46,084
Hi. Sorry we're late.
668
01:16:48,542 --> 01:16:53,209
- Help yourselves to some pasta.
- It was delicious.
669
01:16:54,876 --> 01:16:57,167
- Really.
- Thanks.
670
01:17:01,876 --> 01:17:03,084
How did it go?
671
01:17:05,042 --> 01:17:06,292
We're getting married.
672
01:17:09,792 --> 01:17:10,917
What happened?
673
01:17:12,959 --> 01:17:16,167
Anja is going to have the tumour
removed on 2 January.
674
01:17:17,167 --> 01:17:18,501
We have to do it before that.
675
01:17:20,209 --> 01:17:21,542
When?
676
01:17:22,459 --> 01:17:24,917
- New Year's Eve.
- Right.
677
01:17:28,626 --> 01:17:29,834
In three days?
678
01:17:31,001 --> 01:17:33,001
But that's your birthday, Mum.
679
01:17:34,334 --> 01:17:38,917
So it's your birthday, wedding
and New Year's Eve all in one?
680
01:17:39,542 --> 01:17:41,542
- That'll be great.
- But…
681
01:17:42,251 --> 01:17:43,709
Where will you get married?
682
01:17:45,084 --> 01:17:47,001
We have a hospital chaplain.
683
01:17:47,834 --> 01:17:51,917
But we're not sure whether we can find
a church on such short notice.
684
01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:57,876
- Do you have to get married in church?
- Either that, or the hospital chapel.
685
01:17:58,084 --> 01:18:03,251
It has to be done by a hospital chaplain
to cut through the red tape.
686
01:18:03,376 --> 01:18:05,292
We're not getting married in a hospital.
687
01:18:07,209 --> 01:18:10,334
- No.
- But we're going to have a party?
688
01:18:10,376 --> 01:18:12,667
Of course we'll have a party.
689
01:18:13,542 --> 01:18:18,417
- I don't think we'll be that many.
- Just your hundred closest friends.
690
01:18:18,542 --> 01:18:20,834
I know how to party.
691
01:18:20,959 --> 01:18:25,084
But I'm not a great organizer,
so we'll need help.
692
01:18:25,209 --> 01:18:28,751
December 29
693
01:18:35,709 --> 01:18:36,834
Hi.
694
01:18:40,292 --> 01:18:42,334
- You didn't get any sleep.
- No.
695
01:18:44,501 --> 01:18:45,792
Tomas!
696
01:18:49,626 --> 01:18:52,584
We're meeting a researcher
at the Radium Hospital.
697
01:18:53,876 --> 01:18:58,917
He's only given us 20 min.
Tomas has googled treatments in the US.
698
01:18:59,042 --> 01:19:02,626
We need to know what
the researcher thinks. Tomas!
699
01:19:03,501 --> 01:19:05,167
He's so slow it drives me crazy.
700
01:19:09,751 --> 01:19:13,626
Are you sure this isn't too much for you?
I mean…
701
01:19:14,626 --> 01:19:17,876
Do you have to get married now?
Just before the operation?
702
01:19:20,334 --> 01:19:23,084
When should I otherwise do it?
703
01:19:23,209 --> 01:19:27,792
What do you think? With my wedding
and birthday on the same day,
704
01:19:27,917 --> 01:19:29,959
you'll only have to remember me
once a year.
705
01:19:32,917 --> 01:19:35,959
And you'll get fireworks too.
706
01:19:47,042 --> 01:19:48,209
We have to leave.
707
01:20:08,042 --> 01:20:09,626
We're fifteen minutes early.
708
01:20:22,959 --> 01:20:27,751
I have to admit that you're
an interesting case, with complex issues.
709
01:20:27,876 --> 01:20:31,626
Whether and how to treat someone
with your diagnosis.
710
01:20:32,376 --> 01:20:36,959
Most lung cancer patients these days
are truck drivers.
711
01:20:37,084 --> 01:20:39,834
Except for the odd trial lawyer, right?
712
01:20:41,126 --> 01:20:45,667
Let's sit down over there.
It's too far to go back to my office.
713
01:20:48,751 --> 01:20:52,876
As I'm sure you already know,
there's no cure in your case.
714
01:20:53,542 --> 01:20:57,251
All we know for sure is that
you will die from this cancer.
715
01:20:58,042 --> 01:21:03,001
My advice is not to waste time
searching for miracle cures abroad.
716
01:21:03,126 --> 01:21:07,709
They don't exist. Or alternative treatment
with no proven effect.
717
01:21:08,126 --> 01:21:13,167
Or brutal life-extending treatment
that will reduce the quality
718
01:21:13,292 --> 01:21:14,792
of the life you have left.
719
01:21:15,876 --> 01:21:18,167
I think all my international
colleagues would agree.
720
01:21:24,417 --> 01:21:26,209
What would you have done if it were you?
721
01:21:30,584 --> 01:21:34,001
I guess it's easy to say
when you're not in this situation.
722
01:21:35,542 --> 01:21:39,834
I don't think I'd put up a fight.
I'd try to enjoy life,
723
01:21:39,959 --> 01:21:42,001
with wine, good food.
724
01:21:43,001 --> 01:21:48,126
Be with my family. The children,
the four weeks or so that are left.
725
01:21:48,792 --> 01:21:54,126
Instead of four months alone in painful
life-extending treatment at a US hospital.
726
01:21:55,709 --> 01:21:56,917
That's what I'd do.
727
01:22:05,792 --> 01:22:07,251
That was a pretty clear message.
728
01:22:08,667 --> 01:22:11,417
No use searching for a miracle cure.
729
01:22:12,876 --> 01:22:17,001
You didn't have to ask that fool
what he would've done.
730
01:22:22,709 --> 01:22:28,001
- You wanted to know everything.
- You're not dying. You don't get to ask.
731
01:22:36,959 --> 01:22:38,167
This one's available.
732
01:22:42,001 --> 01:22:46,001
We've actually proposed
to each other several times.
733
01:22:47,626 --> 01:22:52,542
But Tomas was still married
the first time. Then he got separated.
734
01:22:52,667 --> 01:22:55,917
We wanted to have children.
Then we moved.
735
01:22:57,001 --> 01:22:58,792
And had more children.
736
01:22:59,751 --> 01:23:01,167
And work, lots of work.
737
01:23:02,126 --> 01:23:03,626
And sick parents.
738
01:23:05,876 --> 01:23:08,459
Then there was a time when
we both wanted to get married.
739
01:23:10,709 --> 01:23:15,251
But Tomas wanted a big wedding,
and I wanted a small one.
740
01:23:16,001 --> 01:23:21,584
So we never managed to agree. Or rather,
we did set a date many years ago.
741
01:23:22,376 --> 01:23:24,709
Then Tomas got a job on some project.
742
01:23:27,459 --> 01:23:29,459
Well, I can't remember.
743
01:23:30,876 --> 01:23:35,542
There's always been something.
Someone's needs always got in the way.
744
01:23:36,834 --> 01:23:41,751
Before everything turned sour, and we
no longer knew if we wanted each other.
745
01:23:42,917 --> 01:23:47,959
But we decided to try a little longer.
That was last Christmas. Then I fell ill.
746
01:23:48,376 --> 01:23:51,542
Then I recovered, then relapsed.
And here we are.
747
01:24:01,209 --> 01:24:06,126
- Could we get married in church?
- On New Year's Eve? That won't be easy.
748
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:11,126
Because I don't think Anja
wants to get married in a hospital.
749
01:24:11,876 --> 01:24:13,334
Maybe we could find a chapel?
750
01:24:14,626 --> 01:24:18,001
We won't be that many.
Maybe thirty people.
751
01:24:18,584 --> 01:24:23,126
I'll try to pull some strings.
But I can't promise anything.
752
01:24:23,792 --> 01:24:25,501
I'll get back to you when I know more.
753
01:24:27,251 --> 01:24:29,834
- I'll call you as soon as I can.
- Thank you.
754
01:24:41,376 --> 01:24:45,959
How crazy was that? He didn't ask
one single question about who we are.
755
01:24:46,917 --> 01:24:48,542
Maybe he didn't get the chance.
756
01:24:52,334 --> 01:24:57,334
He doesn't need to know all the details of
our lives to perform a wedding ceremony.
757
01:24:57,959 --> 01:25:01,334
- Details?
- Maybe it doesn't matter.
758
01:25:03,001 --> 01:25:06,001
I think you describe us in a shabby way.
759
01:25:07,501 --> 01:25:13,626
You paint our life like a complete grind.
That's not how I remember it.
760
01:25:15,959 --> 01:25:17,584
Then how do you remember it?
761
01:25:19,001 --> 01:25:23,292
I don't know what you see, Tomas.
Give me some new images.
762
01:25:25,334 --> 01:25:29,292
- Don't do this to us.
- We haven't lived the same life.
763
01:25:30,084 --> 01:25:32,917
Life's not… It's not perfect.
764
01:25:40,626 --> 01:25:44,501
All the times you talked about leaving.
But I never wanted to leave you.
765
01:25:46,292 --> 01:25:48,167
It's not easy being where you are now.
766
01:25:50,251 --> 01:25:52,376
But right now you're just ruthless.
767
01:26:11,876 --> 01:26:15,251
December 30
768
01:26:15,792 --> 01:26:17,292
- Pancake?
- Yes please.
769
01:26:20,917 --> 01:26:24,292
- That's your third one.
- No, it's my second.
770
01:26:24,792 --> 01:26:27,917
- Are you sure?
- I had one, then this one.
771
01:26:28,042 --> 01:26:30,709
Relax, I'll make some more.
772
01:26:37,167 --> 01:26:40,876
Vera? Would you be
my maid of honour, with Arthur?
773
01:26:44,126 --> 01:26:45,376
I'd love to.
774
01:26:50,959 --> 01:26:53,334
But what do I have to do?
775
01:26:55,709 --> 01:26:58,126
Walk behind you and hold your veil?
776
01:27:00,292 --> 01:27:01,542
I wouldn't know.
777
01:27:10,959 --> 01:27:12,459
But you'll wear a white dress?
778
01:27:19,167 --> 01:27:20,292
Good.
779
01:27:39,001 --> 01:27:42,292
This is what it looks like,
the key to the house of God.
780
01:27:56,792 --> 01:27:58,126
What do you think?
781
01:27:59,251 --> 01:28:00,709
It's freezing cold in here.
782
01:28:01,792 --> 01:28:04,126
Too big. Lacks soul.
783
01:28:06,667 --> 01:28:08,084
It's all that's on offer.
784
01:28:10,709 --> 01:28:14,209
I'd rather get married outside
in the cemetery.
785
01:28:16,667 --> 01:28:20,667
It's simpler than it looks on the hanger.
It's beautiful. You have to try it on.
786
01:28:28,292 --> 01:28:29,876
You can try it.
787
01:28:35,001 --> 01:28:40,167
There's a mirror here.
You can step up on this box and see.
788
01:29:18,834 --> 01:29:20,292
Are you feeling sick?
789
01:29:21,584 --> 01:29:22,709
Yes.
790
01:29:27,167 --> 01:29:28,792
Maybe you should take a Vival?
791
01:29:35,084 --> 01:29:36,417
I left them at home.
792
01:29:54,376 --> 01:29:58,834
- Anja? What are you doing here?
- Hi.
793
01:29:59,917 --> 01:30:00,876
Hi.
794
01:30:02,376 --> 01:30:05,584
Hi.
I got your message.
795
01:30:06,042 --> 01:30:08,709
- I'm all yours tomorrow.
- Are you home already?
796
01:30:09,917 --> 01:30:13,584
I just have to fetch something.
Tomas is waiting in the car. Hi, Frans.
797
01:30:17,001 --> 01:30:19,792
I can't even imagine what it's like
to be you right now.
798
01:30:21,959 --> 01:30:26,167
- Hi, boys. I just have to fetch something.
- Don't peek into my room.
799
01:30:26,667 --> 01:30:27,834
It's a secret!
800
01:30:29,209 --> 01:30:32,126
Mum? What are you doing at home?
801
01:30:33,251 --> 01:30:36,959
I just had to take care of something
before we go to the hospital.
802
01:30:40,751 --> 01:30:44,917
- Why aren't you out there with the others?
- They're fussing about.
803
01:30:46,042 --> 01:30:47,792
Like it's a perfectly ordinary wedding.
804
01:30:55,167 --> 01:30:56,626
But you're my mum.
805
01:30:58,126 --> 01:31:00,917
I have to run, Julie.
We'll be getting the results.
806
01:31:02,459 --> 01:31:04,126
Can't I come with you?
807
01:31:05,334 --> 01:31:06,501
I'm afraid not.
808
01:31:19,209 --> 01:31:20,417
Hi.
809
01:31:25,334 --> 01:31:26,376
Anja…
810
01:31:28,167 --> 01:31:31,834
Your CT scans are clean.
No metastases in your lungs.
811
01:31:36,876 --> 01:31:37,917
Anja?
812
01:31:39,334 --> 01:31:41,876
Let's see. I think…
813
01:31:42,876 --> 01:31:46,584
Take hold of her.
Come over here.
814
01:31:47,334 --> 01:31:51,126
Take a deep breath. OK?
Take my hand. Breathe.
815
01:31:52,084 --> 01:31:56,751
The surgeon was supposed to tell you,
but I just couldn't wait.
816
01:32:06,751 --> 01:32:07,834
Yes.
817
01:32:09,126 --> 01:32:10,209
No, no.
818
01:32:11,501 --> 01:32:14,626
He's older than me,
but I'm the one who's ill.
819
01:32:17,084 --> 01:32:19,209
We're getting married.
820
01:32:40,001 --> 01:32:43,834
Hey, I no longer want to know
how much time they think I have left.
821
01:32:44,626 --> 01:32:45,917
So I'm not going to ask.
822
01:32:49,126 --> 01:32:53,001
You can sit here.
There's room for you on the bench.
823
01:32:56,542 --> 01:33:00,417
Sorry I called you at home
during the holidays.
824
01:33:00,959 --> 01:33:05,792
Don't worry about that. It's not hard
to understand in your situation. Alright.
825
01:33:07,251 --> 01:33:11,417
I assume you aren't well,
but how is your headache now?
826
01:33:11,542 --> 01:33:13,626
Is it better or worse than before?
827
01:33:14,792 --> 01:33:16,667
- It's better.
- Good.
828
01:33:17,334 --> 01:33:23,542
What I'm going to do now, is explain
what'll happen during the operation.
829
01:33:23,667 --> 01:33:27,209
So you won't have to speculate.
So you'll both know.
830
01:33:30,209 --> 01:33:35,001
Here are the MRI images from December 23.
831
01:33:36,251 --> 01:33:40,376
And this is where
the metastasis is located.
832
01:33:41,209 --> 01:33:46,292
It's to the right in the image, but it's
in the back of your left hemisphere.
833
01:33:47,626 --> 01:33:49,084
And… May I touch you?
834
01:33:49,501 --> 01:33:55,792
We'll enter through a 20 cm incision
in the back of your head,
835
01:33:55,917 --> 01:33:59,709
up to about here,
to remove the metastasis.
836
01:34:01,084 --> 01:34:06,126
The greyish, dark area around here,
that's the oedema, the fluid.
837
01:34:06,251 --> 01:34:09,709
It should be substantially smaller now
as a result of the Medrol treatment.
838
01:34:12,834 --> 01:34:18,876
If the operation is a success, the results
of the CAT scan of your lungs
839
01:34:19,001 --> 01:34:22,667
might give us a reason
to perform a PET scan
840
01:34:22,792 --> 01:34:26,626
to see if it's spread to
any other areas in your body.
841
01:34:28,251 --> 01:34:30,876
But it all depends on the operation.
842
01:34:31,959 --> 01:34:33,292
May I ask a question?
843
01:34:35,584 --> 01:34:36,834
Yes.
844
01:34:37,417 --> 01:34:41,209
What's the risk involved in the surgery
besides the metastasis itself?
845
01:34:42,626 --> 01:34:47,167
At worst, the operation
may damage the visual cortex
846
01:34:47,292 --> 01:34:52,501
and your peripheral vision permanently.
You won't be able to drive.
847
01:34:52,626 --> 01:34:57,376
I don't need to. But I don't want to be
a zombie bride. I must sleep.
848
01:34:57,501 --> 01:35:03,751
I want to be myself. All I want now
is to sleep one whole night through!
849
01:35:03,876 --> 01:35:06,376
Can I please get off the Medrol?
850
01:35:07,501 --> 01:35:13,459
You can't go to zero, but if you halve
the Medrol dose, you'll sleep better.
851
01:35:15,126 --> 01:35:18,876
- Thank you.
- The reduction may lead to depression.
852
01:35:18,917 --> 01:35:24,959
So make sure she doesn't start
talking nonsense before the operation.
853
01:35:25,542 --> 01:35:28,584
- "Nonsense"?
- It probably won't happen.
854
01:35:28,709 --> 01:35:34,334
But high doses can trigger a psychosis.
Based on what I see and hear now,
855
01:35:35,084 --> 01:35:37,084
she should halve her dose immediately.
856
01:35:46,876 --> 01:35:49,917
This was my mum's wedding dress.
857
01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:57,667
I've kept it.
858
01:36:01,084 --> 01:36:02,709
Thanks, Vera, but no.
859
01:36:07,251 --> 01:36:09,876
I want to wear my own dress.
The dark green one.
860
01:36:12,667 --> 01:36:14,001
It's too sombre.
861
01:36:15,417 --> 01:36:16,501
No.
862
01:36:18,001 --> 01:36:21,084
It's dark, not black like in a funeral.
863
01:36:40,501 --> 01:36:41,792
Vera…
864
01:36:43,542 --> 01:36:44,792
I'm sorry.
865
01:36:47,459 --> 01:36:49,792
You're not the one who's
supposed to comfort me.
866
01:37:07,292 --> 01:37:09,084
Did you halve your dose of Medrol?
867
01:37:14,167 --> 01:37:16,209
- And took a sleeping pill?
- Yes.
868
01:37:20,001 --> 01:37:21,209
You need to sleep now.
869
01:37:24,626 --> 01:37:27,042
You need to sleep
for tomorrow to be a good day.
870
01:37:34,834 --> 01:37:35,709
New Year's Eve
871
01:37:35,959 --> 01:37:41,584
♪ Hurray and happy birthday today
It's time to congratulate you
872
01:37:42,251 --> 01:37:45,292
♪ All in a ring around you we play
873
01:37:45,417 --> 01:37:48,084
♪ And see now, we will salute you
874
01:37:48,792 --> 01:37:51,709
♪ We only live a little while
875
01:37:52,084 --> 01:37:56,209
♪ Despite the hardship
we have to smile, yes, hey
876
01:37:56,334 --> 01:37:58,501
♪ Happy goblins, lift your glasses
877
01:37:58,626 --> 01:38:01,126
♪ And let us happily party ♪
878
01:38:01,584 --> 01:38:04,792
Hurray, hurray, hurray!
879
01:38:04,917 --> 01:38:06,959
Happy birthday!
880
01:38:11,167 --> 01:38:13,167
Happy birthday, Mum.
881
01:38:16,501 --> 01:38:20,084
What would you like, Anja?
French toast, yoghurt?
882
01:38:20,209 --> 01:38:22,876
I'm not that hungry, but thanks.
883
01:38:23,417 --> 01:38:27,292
But you do want
a cup of Vera's fancy coffee?
884
01:38:27,417 --> 01:38:28,584
Thank you.
885
01:38:30,501 --> 01:38:31,917
Happy birthday.
886
01:38:37,209 --> 01:38:40,126
You slept the whole night through.
Like a log.
887
01:38:41,167 --> 01:38:44,626
- Really?
- You look rested.
888
01:38:47,917 --> 01:38:50,126
My batteries are dead.
889
01:38:53,542 --> 01:38:55,542
Anja, I have to leave now.
890
01:38:55,667 --> 01:38:57,292
Arthur will pick you up here in two hours.
891
01:39:00,376 --> 01:39:01,417
Where's Mum going?
892
01:39:03,834 --> 01:39:07,376
- We've got secret plans for Mum.
- I hate secrets.
893
01:39:09,251 --> 01:39:10,584
I can imagine.
894
01:39:30,126 --> 01:39:35,209
It won't be a white dress, Julie. I tried
to get one, but it didn't work out.
895
01:39:38,084 --> 01:39:39,334
It's not that important.
896
01:39:41,626 --> 01:39:42,751
It's not.
897
01:39:45,751 --> 01:39:48,001
- Are you disappointed?
- Aren't you?
898
01:39:49,292 --> 01:39:50,292
No.
899
01:39:51,751 --> 01:39:53,626
Maybe it's not that kind of wedding.
900
01:39:55,834 --> 01:39:59,042
I'm not saying it's a shotgun wedding.
901
01:39:59,417 --> 01:40:00,542
Just…
902
01:40:07,209 --> 01:40:10,751
- Are you nervous?
- Anja? Phone call.
903
01:40:16,334 --> 01:40:19,167
- Is it Arthur?
- No, unknown number.
904
01:40:21,709 --> 01:40:22,834
Hello?
905
01:40:28,167 --> 01:40:29,792
I don't think we've spoken earlier.
906
01:40:32,751 --> 01:40:35,584
Maybe you should speak
to Tomas yourself? Tomas!
907
01:40:37,959 --> 01:40:39,001
I see.
908
01:40:46,584 --> 01:40:52,042
Thank you, but that's enough. I've already
agreed a date with the operating surgeon.
909
01:40:54,001 --> 01:40:56,001
This is about my life, not yours.
910
01:41:02,876 --> 01:41:07,501
Do you have some sort of agreement
with a crazy surgeon called Ulseth?
911
01:41:08,584 --> 01:41:11,792
He says you agreed
he'd perform the operation.
912
01:41:12,417 --> 01:41:16,709
We spoke informally via phone
while I was doing research.
913
01:41:16,834 --> 01:41:22,959
- It was before I knew it was operable.
- He chewed me out for jumping in line.
914
01:41:23,084 --> 01:41:26,584
Said the timing didn't matter
because there's no hope.
915
01:41:27,209 --> 01:41:29,667
My god, how can he say that?
916
01:41:30,417 --> 01:41:34,584
Anja, I haven't agreed anything
with that humiliated surgeon.
917
01:41:41,667 --> 01:41:43,792
I've got the jitters.
918
01:41:46,876 --> 01:41:49,376
Vera and I know nothing about weddings.
919
01:41:49,876 --> 01:41:52,584
- You're the only one with any experience.
- It's been a while.
920
01:41:57,167 --> 01:41:59,209
I was four years old
the last time Tomas got married.
921
01:42:03,001 --> 01:42:05,459
- Shall we go?
- Yes.
922
01:42:06,876 --> 01:42:11,376
Google says the groom shouldn't see
the bride until she comes up the aisle.
923
01:42:11,626 --> 01:42:12,876
We'll take care of her.
924
01:42:14,251 --> 01:42:15,917
- You take care of yourself.
- Thanks.
925
01:42:35,751 --> 01:42:37,959
Have you thought about how you want it?
926
01:42:42,542 --> 01:42:44,084
You really have wonderful hair.
927
01:42:47,251 --> 01:42:50,001
Hi.
I finally found something white for you.
928
01:42:50,792 --> 01:42:52,126
Or rather for Julie.
929
01:42:54,209 --> 01:42:56,751
The shop wasn't really open. Look!
930
01:42:57,459 --> 01:42:59,959
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Very. Thanks.
931
01:43:01,834 --> 01:43:07,376
Tomas is downstairs with Frans, who wants
to say hi. Didn't know he was best man.
932
01:43:07,501 --> 01:43:09,334
- Are they here now?
- Yes.
933
01:43:11,876 --> 01:43:16,584
Yes. Tomas…
He wanted a haircut.
934
01:43:18,042 --> 01:43:24,542
All the other hairdressers are closed,
so I got an appointment for both of you.
935
01:43:24,667 --> 01:43:27,834
- It's on the house.
- Thank you.
936
01:43:28,417 --> 01:43:30,542
Hi. How's the bride doing?
937
01:43:46,667 --> 01:43:47,709
Anja…
938
01:43:49,751 --> 01:43:54,917
Didn't you hear what Arthur said? You're
supposed to leave me alone until church.
939
01:43:56,251 --> 01:43:59,917
Can't you see that all this is too late,
this whole ridiculous setup?
940
01:44:01,667 --> 01:44:05,959
Did it take a death sentence for you
to forget about yourself,
941
01:44:06,084 --> 01:44:07,792
and suddenly do everything right?
942
01:44:09,876 --> 01:44:12,042
Now that it's all over anyway?
943
01:44:14,209 --> 01:44:19,251
How can I walk down the aisle
without thinking it's my own funeral?
944
01:44:22,751 --> 01:44:26,709
I've been such a coward.
I should've left you ages ago.
945
01:44:27,167 --> 01:44:28,709
But I've been too exhausted.
946
01:44:30,042 --> 01:44:34,084
I've been eaten alive
by you and the kids.
947
01:44:35,626 --> 01:44:39,751
And now I'm stuck here,
feeling like an ungrateful fool.
948
01:44:40,542 --> 01:44:43,292
Unable to accept anything from you.
949
01:44:59,542 --> 01:45:00,792
You don't want to?
950
01:46:45,376 --> 01:46:46,501
Anja…
951
01:46:47,792 --> 01:46:48,834
Yes.
952
01:48:05,751 --> 01:48:11,334
Grace be unto you, and peace, from God
our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.
953
01:48:13,334 --> 01:48:18,959
Dear Anja and Tomas. You have come here
to enter into matrimony.
954
01:48:19,084 --> 01:48:21,626
We have gathered t celebrate with…
955
01:49:06,417 --> 01:49:11,667
… to have and to hold, for better,
for worse, for richer, for poorer,
956
01:49:11,792 --> 01:49:13,709
until death do you part?
957
01:49:14,167 --> 01:49:15,459
I do.
958
01:50:08,042 --> 01:50:10,626
♪ Bow and nod and curtsy
one turn around
959
01:50:10,751 --> 01:50:13,417
♪ Dancing for you
until our stockings burn
960
01:50:13,542 --> 01:50:15,792
♪ Wishing you
the very happiest returns
961
01:50:15,917 --> 01:50:18,792
♪ And now it's time for celebration
962
01:50:18,917 --> 01:50:22,084
♪ Congratulations ♪
963
01:50:25,417 --> 01:50:29,376
Thank you.
Thank you so much, everyone.
964
01:50:29,876 --> 01:50:31,001
Shit!
965
01:50:40,501 --> 01:50:41,667
Hi, Isak.
966
01:51:01,709 --> 01:51:07,959
About twenty years ago,
I saw two people fall in love.
967
01:51:09,459 --> 01:51:13,334
Something both those involved denied.
968
01:51:16,001 --> 01:51:21,001
But I was convinced
they were having an affair.
969
01:51:21,834 --> 01:51:26,876
Though I was also certain
it would soon blow over.
970
01:51:27,251 --> 01:51:29,667
I wasn't the only one who thought so.
971
01:51:35,876 --> 01:51:40,001
Their love seemed impossible.
And I…
972
01:51:40,376 --> 01:51:43,542
I seem to remember that you, Anja…
973
01:51:45,209 --> 01:51:48,709
You were furious that
you'd fallen in love with Tomas.
974
01:51:50,001 --> 01:51:52,042
It didn't suit your plans at all.
975
01:51:53,959 --> 01:51:56,917
But it's never been more evident
that you're meant for each other.
976
01:52:05,667 --> 01:52:07,042
No, what the…?
977
01:52:09,917 --> 01:52:11,667
Darn it. Right.
978
01:52:12,084 --> 01:52:13,542
Let's take it from the top.
979
01:52:14,501 --> 01:52:17,584
This is my gift to you.
980
01:52:20,251 --> 01:52:22,292
You can start it now.
981
01:52:32,584 --> 01:52:36,167
♪ My ruminations and sad songs are gone
982
01:52:37,042 --> 01:52:40,709
♪ They never helped me get nothing done
983
01:52:45,042 --> 01:52:48,376
♪ All the good will and love in the world
984
01:52:49,167 --> 01:52:52,251
♪ Is what it takes for my little girl
985
01:52:55,501 --> 01:52:59,626
♪ Should I just cry out? Would it help?
986
01:53:00,376 --> 01:53:04,167
♪ When I close my eyes, I see myself
987
01:53:08,376 --> 01:53:11,959
♪ In acrobatic, euphoric high
988
01:53:12,917 --> 01:53:14,834
♪ Heading to see my
989
01:53:16,376 --> 01:53:18,167
♪ Cutie pie
990
01:53:26,376 --> 01:53:29,876
♪ You'll never miss the good old lies
991
01:53:30,792 --> 01:53:34,501
♪ We're gonna kiss till Jesus cries
992
01:53:38,667 --> 01:53:41,751
♪ You're afraid that it's too far to go
993
01:53:42,792 --> 01:53:46,167
♪ How fast I'll run, you'll never know
994
01:53:49,376 --> 01:53:53,709
♪ If you would give me right of way
995
01:53:53,959 --> 01:53:58,209
♪ I'd grant you access every day
996
01:53:58,584 --> 01:54:03,334
♪ And I can smile
Beat up myself
997
01:54:04,251 --> 01:54:06,209
♪ I've got theatrics
998
01:54:07,709 --> 01:54:09,542
♪ If nothing else
999
01:54:11,667 --> 01:54:14,376
♪ When you bring me all of you
1000
01:54:16,417 --> 01:54:18,834
♪ Unbearable, for still
1001
01:54:21,251 --> 01:54:23,751
♪ My heart is split in two
1002
01:54:25,792 --> 01:54:28,292
♪ Romance makes me ill ♪
1003
01:54:42,626 --> 01:54:46,292
- I don't know what to say.
- What about "Happy New Year"?
1004
01:54:47,751 --> 01:54:52,792
I have to say it. I hope for the best.
But I'll be here if I'm needed.
1005
01:54:52,917 --> 01:54:54,626
Ready to take care of the kids.
1006
01:55:05,501 --> 01:55:09,376
I shouldn't have said that.
But I can't stop thinking about it.
1007
01:55:12,042 --> 01:55:14,459
Thank you, Vera,
but the kids have a father.
1008
01:55:53,626 --> 01:55:54,709
Julie?
1009
01:56:07,709 --> 01:56:09,376
I didn't know you existed.
1010
01:56:20,292 --> 01:56:22,459
I wish I could take you with me
in the afterlife.
1011
01:56:26,251 --> 01:56:29,626
New Year's Day
1012
01:56:34,584 --> 01:56:37,501
I'm trying to imagine who you were.
1013
01:56:40,376 --> 01:56:42,709
Why haven't you told us
about any of this before?
1014
01:56:44,834 --> 01:56:46,876
There's so much I didn't know.
1015
01:56:49,251 --> 01:56:52,626
All those secrets before I was born.
1016
01:56:56,751 --> 01:56:59,334
All the grown-ups were so different.
1017
01:57:03,292 --> 01:57:05,876
More direct than I've ever seen before.
1018
01:57:12,667 --> 01:57:14,001
At least you two.
1019
01:57:18,167 --> 01:57:19,417
Different how?
1020
01:57:21,667 --> 01:57:24,126
I didn't know you could be
so loving to each other.
1021
01:57:27,501 --> 01:57:30,876
Like I've never seen before. I mean…
1022
01:57:31,834 --> 01:57:34,751
Maybe once, one summer, ages ago.
1023
01:57:40,667 --> 01:57:42,042
Just like two kids.
1024
01:57:44,917 --> 01:57:48,292
January 2
1025
01:58:29,626 --> 01:58:30,751
Just a moment.
1026
01:58:34,292 --> 01:58:38,251
There. I'm afraid you can't enter
the operating theatre.
1027
01:58:39,334 --> 01:58:41,001
I'll be here when you wake up.
74408
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