Original subtitles

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

FREDDIE: Whoo!

Hello, and welcome to Top Gear,

where we've got some very sad news,

because it's the last show of the series.

- AUDIENCE: Aw! - Ohh!

But also, we've got some good news,

because we're going out with a big birthday bash. Yes.

- AUDIENCE: Yay! - Yes.

Yes, as the BBC is very keen to keep reminding us,

this is the centenary year -

100 years of informing, educating and entertaining.

Well, some more than others.

But here's a question.

What would Top Gear have looked like

back in those early days of the Beeb?

Well, we've had a trawl through the archives to find out.

(POSH ACCENT) Hello, and welcome to The Top Gear,

a programme dedicated to the mechanical road carriage.

Today, one will be running one's monocle

over this fine filly,

the Invicta.

Tally-ho!

This is the Invicta Type A,

and while it's priced at a princely £1,500,

that does afford you

the very latest in modern conveniences...

...including a seat, a steering wheel and brakes!

Ah, this is the life!

And I can probably lose

the Jeeves and Wooster accent now.

So, most of you have probably never heard of the Invicta,

but back in the '20s and '30s,

this car was on the same par

as something like a Rolls-Royce or a Bentley -

real premium badge stuff.

And even now, it's worth £200,000, this car,

and maybe a little bit more.

Now, you may wonder why I'm dashing around the countryside.

Well, I've got a plan.

Sadly, it involves those two clowns.

Oh, my word. Look at this lad!

Gentlemen!

Firstly... did you not get the memo?

What's the memo, Pad? Come as Jacob Rees-Mogg?

Have you seen Downton Abbey? Not many puffer coats.

No, I'd be downstairs an' all. Wouldn't you?

Absolutely.

Dressed like that, though, you might be round t'table.

I've gotta say, lads, I quite like it.

I think you look very dashing.

Well, I've gotta tell ya,

these buttons are working very hard.

Very hard.

Why are you wearing white socks?

- Yeah... - Oh, you're not? You're not!

Oh, no!

Now, obviously we're here. Lovely surroundings.

It's a hundred years of the BBC,

and I've got something very special lined up for us.

Jump in, my good men. We're gonna do a bit of trialling.

Yes, we'd be having a crack

at one of the oldest motorsports in Britain.

I'm glad the weather's nice.

- (ENGINE REVS) - Whoa! Hey-hey!

PADDY: Trialling was originally devised as

a way for car-makers to prove the ability

and reliability of their latest models.

And today, in sleepy, sunny corners

of the Great British countryside,

you can still find devoted bands of merry motorists

battling their vintage cars to the top of steep, muddy hills.

This is a competition where it's not about how fast you go,

it's about how far you get.

And with five stages to attack before the day was out,

our first job was to get...

...to the start.

FREDDIE: I must admit, I'd have liked a seatbelt in the back.

So, go on, Pad, talk us through it,

changing gear - what do you do?

Well, going up, it's...

You've gotta put your foot on the clutch,

give it a nanosecond in neutral,

then change into your gear. But then, coming back down,

that's where it gets really tricky.

You've gotta do double clutch and rev it and all that,

but I don't know how it's gonna go on at the trials

because it's driving all right on the roads,

but I just can't see it going up a steep gradient.

It doesn't feel like it should be doing that, does it?

- No. - I'm still not sure

what these trials are.

CHRIS: Just as well, then, that we were about to find out...

Morning! Good morning!

...because Lord McGuinness had managed to coax the Invicta

to our first hill...

...where, as the other challengers were already

making look alarmingly easy,

the aim was to get past as many markers as possible

on the way to the top.

Each hill has 25 points available

to those that can coax and rev and bounce their way

to reach them.

And with the teams with the most points

by the end of the day taking home the silverware,

as we lined up for our first go...

- (WHISTLE BLOWS) - PADDY: Whoa. We're off.

...it didn't feel like we'd be troubling the podium.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Get out there, get out there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Shut up. Shut up.

Go, go! Go, go!

Whoa, whoa! No... No more...

- I've seen it. - No more, no more revs.

- I've seen it, I've seen it. - No more revs!

PADDY: Gone past 15, lads. We don't have to go fast.

Watch the tree, Chris.

- We're good, we're good. - Yeah?

A bit of right hand down now. That's good.

FREDDIE: Mind that tree.

That's good. That's good. We're good. Great work, Pad.

Right, get bumping.

- Yes. - Go, Pad.

- Ohh! - Bounce, Fred.

I'm bouncing.

It's going beautifully. Round there. No more revs.

Well done. Well done. Well done.

(ALL CHEER)

- Stop! Stop! Frickin' stop. - (BRAKES SQUEAL)

ALL: Ohh!

Lovely bit of driving. Who parked that there?

Jeepers creepers.

- That was close. - Got past it, though,

- didn't I? - Hey-hey.

FREDDIE: Fair play to Paddy. On our first-ever trials run,

we'd just bagged ourselves a full 25 points.

That was great work, McGuinness.

What was it like driving?

Oh, tricky. It works, though,

- the bouncing, doesn't it? - Does it? I don't know.

Yeah, you feel it.

FREDDIE: Time to take the victorious Invicta

back down to the road and onto the next hill.

We might be in this, you know?

When have we ever started this well at anything?

Never. Never.

FREDDIE: And now that the pre-match nerves had settled,

we could start to see

what this trials game is actually all about.

PADDY: You all right, boys?

- Hello! - Hiya.

I like the format. So you basically just wobble about

- on some lanes. - Lovely.

You get to show off your new suit.

Then we go up through some forest-y bits.

Thank you. Thanks very much.

- Thank you. - Hello, there.

- Hello. - Everyone's very friendly.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

CHRIS: Yes, arriving at a nearby farm

for the start of the next climb,

it was quickly becoming clear that trials is as much

a highlight of the social calendar

as it is a motorsport.

No robotic racing drivers and poker-faced pit crews here,

just lots of jolly people having a jolly old time.

This is a lovely thing to do.

- See this thing? - Yeah.

Two-stroke, single chain.

Where's it from?

Is it?

That's it?

Will it go anywhere?

FREDDIE: What is it?

- There you go. Good luck. - Good luck.

- CHRIS: Look at this boy here. - FREDDIE: WG Grace.

Ooh, no messing.

- Ooh, he's not messed about. - He's on it there.

Did you see the concentration on his face?

He's had the back end out and all sorts then.

- Better than F1. - Ooh, wonderful.

Can't get this close to bloody Verstappen, can you?

- No. - I could touch his beard.

It's like Fast & Furious meets Brideshead Revisited.

Yes.

Meets Shameless.

CHRIS: For all the fun and games, though,

it turned out our second hill wouldn't just be

a stroll in the orchard,

because we'd be facing our first re-start...

Here we go. Let's see what happens here.

...coming to a complete stop before setting off

to tackle the steepest part of the course.

I bet it's tough to get up there.

Oh, now, Fred, look. Fred, take notice.

- Oh, easy. - No messing.

- Wow. - No messing.

CHRIS: Now, you get one go at this,

and any rolling backwards puts you straight out of the climb.

So, once Fred had distilled what we'd seen of the pros

into a cunning strategy...

Put your foot down, I'll bounce.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

...heading for the start line in the Invicta,

McGuinness had decided it was time that Flintoff and I

joined him in dressing like them too.

Oh, now we're talking!

Ooh. I'll tell you what, boys,

now we look like a team!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

But while we now had all the gear...

- Yes, yes, yes. - Go, Pad.

...as we made our way up to the dreaded re-start,

it soon became clear we still had...

No, no, you're going the wrong way.

You're going the wrong way, you helmet.

...no idea.

Don't worry about it, lads.

Right, bounce...for your lives, lads.

Bounce it, lads.

Go on!

No... No chance.

Embarrassing, that.

I think there's a bit of valve

come out the engine exhaust pipe there, Pad.

Oh, well.

FREDDIE: I think we got ahead of ourselves on the last one,

- didn't we? - Yeah, we have.

But that looked nothing, did it?

You didn't respect the course.

But you didn't bounce, Fred, at the first...

- I was bouncing. - No, you didn't have to.

CHRIS: Why is it our fault? Why is it our fault?

- Well, we're a team. - You had to change

the suspension

- I was bouncing that much. - We're a team, lads,

we're a team.

FREDDIE: We were a team - a team in need of a new driver.

Got it all to do in the next round.

I think we might have to readjust our assessment

of Paddy's driving after that one.

- Well... - Feel free, lads. Hey!

Feel free.

FREDDIE: And so, with just 11 points from the last hill,

heading for the next one,

it was our resident racing driver's time to shine.

- (CRUNCHING) - Oh, am I in gear?

- Oh, no, he's not even in... - (HORN BEEPS)

We're being beeped out, Chris.

We're being beeped out, son.

You've got Chitty Chitty Bang Bang honking you!

Ohh!

- Ohh! Ohh! - Ohh! Wey-ey!

- It's like a roller-coaster. - (BOTH CHEER)

(BOTH LAUGH)

So, we're two hills down, 25 on the first,

11 on the second.

- We need a big one here. - We need...we need...

We need some high numbers on this next one, Chris.

Get us back in the game, pal.

We've got the pro in now, though, don't we?

Be right as rain now.

- (GEARS CRUNCH) - Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, whoa!

How are you finding the old Invicta, Christopher?

Absolutely joyous.

- Are you? - I've got a bit to learn.

I thought Paddy was driving

- very well... - Oh, he's changed his tune,

- hasn't he? - No.

But I think the old girl wasn't suited to wet grass.

Yeah.

Definitely.

I think if we can get more roads like the first one,

it'll go up 'em, it'll go up 'em, definitely,

in the right hands.

(FREDDIE CHUCKLES)

FREDDIE: We'd soon see,

because we'd reached the foot of hill three.

- Go on, Chrissy. - Hello!

- Easy, Chris. - Wh-Whoa.

Lovely. Keep it going. Nice and steady as she goes.

FREDDIE: And as Baron Harris set to work,

the Invicta was looking much more at home.

Whoa... Whoa.

Hey, we're back in the race here.

(BOTH GASP AND GROAN)

I tell you what,

she does well on the dry, doesn't she?

Oh, all the excuses.

- Ohh! - Whoa!

Oh, my God.

I don't like that tree stump, though, Pad.

- The tree stump. - Oh, oh, no, no, no, no.

Bloomin' heck.

Come on, let's get to 25.

Let's finish this one.

I'm on it, I'm on it, I'm on it.

23...23, Chris. Two more.

I can live with this.

(ALL GROAN AND CHEER)

Yes, madam.

(FREDDIE LAUGHS)

PADDY: A maximum-points run from Harris

had put us back on track

and earned him another stint behind the wheel.

Chrissy, back in the game. 25 more points.

- Yes. - Yes!

Back in there.

- I tell you what... - Back in there.

...I'm loving these old cars.

PADDY: And swaggering up to the penultimate hill

with confidence riding high,

it was time to show what a pro trials team

- really looks like. - (WHISTLE BLOWS)

Come on, Chris,

- we need a big 'un here. - Go on, Chris.

- Oh, he's at it here. Ohh-ohh! - Ohh!

Oh, he's going quick.

- Is this a time trial? - The door's...

- Your door's opened, Chris. - Shut the door, Pad.

Shut the door!

Ohh.

PADDY: Yes, Harris had found

his full pouty concentration face,

and the Invicta was starting to look invincible.

(FREDDIE CHEERS)

PADDY: This is gonna fly up to 25, this, Chris.

Or at least it did...

Ooh, ooh, this is steep.

...until we ran into our old friend, the re-start.

- Go on, Chris. - Come on, you got it.

Go on, Chris.

(ENGINE REVS)

Come on, Pad, jump.

Get up!

Get up.

Yes. We've done it, Pad!

- Come on, lad. - We've done it, Chris.

Go on.

Go on, Chris.

I can't flippin' bounce any more.

Go, Chris.

CHRIS: Oh, dear.

The standing start had bested us again.

And with a paltry seven points for our efforts,

heading off to the last run of the day,

it only seemed fair to hand Viscount Flintoff

his first go behind the wheel.

- (CLUNK) - Ooh.

- (CRUNCHING) - Ohh.

- Oh, he's missed a gear. - (CHRIS GUFFAWS)

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

No...

I'm panicking. I'm on a B road.

(OTHERS LAUGH)

Go on, you can get third now.

No, I don't want to.

What's your strategy for the hill?

Stay in first.

CHRIS: And after a Flintoff

double-declutching masterclass...

(GEARS CRUNCH)

What are you doing?! No... No, no!

- Double-clutch it. - I am.

...we eventually ground our way up to the final stage

of our trial's roller-coaster...

...in no way prepared to reach the finish.

- Here we go, son. - Right, no messing about.

(LAUGHS) Man and machine in perfect harmony.

- Go on, son. - (WHISTLE BLOWS)

(ENGINE REVS)

Here we go, lads.

Be very careful.

Do you wanna do some bouncing?

Whoa, whoa. Easy, easy, Fred.

- Yes, yes, yes! - Easy.

That's it. We're up, we're up.

- Keep going. - Right-hander, Fred!

Right-hander. Right... Ooh, ooh, I don't like this.

(ALL SHOUT)

- Come on! - No more revs!

Ohh!

- Yes, that was amazing. - Yes, come on, 19.

- Come on, Fred. - Keep going, Fred.

- Keep going, Fred. - Bounce, bounce, bounce!

- Bounce. - I'm bouncing.

Bounce!

I'm bouncing. I can't bounce any more.

- Keep going, keep going! - We're up to 25, Fred!

(ALL SHOUT AND CHEER)

- Yay! - Thank you.

Ohh...

Why have I not done it all day?

- Ohh! - That was fantastic.

Oh, you abs... I tell you what, you better get running.

When this car stops, I'm gonna knock you out.

PADDY: A top-marks finish for Flintoff...

Ow!

...and our first taste of trials had finished on a high.

Had we won?

Course we hadn't.

Worth another go, though?

You betcha.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

We like old cars, don't we?

I've gotta say,

all things considered, I think that went pretty well.

It was a nice day out in the country.

- Yeah. - And I love that

all over the UK, every weekend,

people are doing daft things in cars.

And I don't just mean trialling.

Banger racing, sidecars, hill-climbing.

It makes me proud to be British.

It certainly does. Proper eccentric motorsport.

And if you're part of -

and I mean this with the greatest of respect -

an even weirder race series than that one,

let us know, and we'll be right there.

And now we must move on,

because every now and again we get a polite email saying,

"Forget about all those supercars.

"How about reviewing a car

"that normal people might actually buy?"

We do get a lot of those, and they're not always polite.

- But they've got a point. - (LAUGHTER)

Well, it's about time we tackled some affordable stuff.

So we sent Chris off to do a proper, sensible,

real-world car review,

in the world's most sensible country...

...Norway.

CHRIS: Yes, with snow on the ground

for six months of the year,

and a reputation for handing out

the strictest driving fines in Europe,

Norway is a country that demands a sensible,

no-nonsense approach to motoring.

And that makes it the ideal spot to bring you

a sensible, no-nonsense compact crossover.

This is the new Ford Puma.

It starts at around 23 grand, and right now,

it's one of the most popular cars on sale in the UK.

And straight away, it's easy to see why.

For starters, it looks quite good.

It's a bit froggy up front, with the eyes,

but other than that, I like it. And inside here,

you don't feel deprived.

I've got all the functions of a very expensive car.

I've even got a heated steering wheel,

which, given we're in Norway, is a lovely thing.

And because it's a Ford,

it goes down the road beautifully.

I can't complain.

Not least because for an extra £6,000,

you can have your Puma with a slightly bigger bite.

This is the ST model with the 200-horsepower,

1.5-litre turbo-charged petrol engine.

0 to 60 - six-and-a-half seconds.

137mph flat out.

And, best of all, in these fuel-troubled times,

it'll do over 40 miles to the gallon.

The Puma ST isn't just fast and frugal, though.

You'll also be pleased to hear that it has

everyday usability built in too.

There's more boot space here than you get in a Ford Focus -

456 litres. You wanted real-world reviews,

I'm giving you a real-world review.

And down here is something Ford calls the MegaBox.

It's a waterproof hose-out tub for anything

that you might need to store in a waterproof hose-out tub.

It's even got a drainage plug

just in case anything you put in there suffers any...

...seepage.

So there you go. It really is the complete package.

Well done, Ford, for making the Puma affordable to run,

and if you get the ST version, pretty decent to drive too.

But if you're thinking the ST still doesn't quite have

the zip you're looking for from your next compact crossover,

there is also a slightly faster one.

Yes, it's a rally car!

The Ford Puma Rally1.

Wah-hoo!

I've never driven anything like it.

It is a monster!

This Puma has been built to compete in

the World Rally Championship's new era of hybrid racing.

And that means that M-Sport,

the legendary British rally engineers that built it...

...have boosted

its four-cylinder turbo petrol engine...

...with a battery-powered electric motor.

All working together, this Puma

produces over 500 horsepower.

Whoa-ho!

The performance is outrageous.

This thing will do 0 to 60

in about three seconds on pretty much any surface.

I can't begin to describe the way it stops as well.

I've got regenerative braking,

so the harder I brake, the more I charge the hybrid system.

It makes for a wild ride, it really does.

There she goes.

Now let's feel the hybrid. Press the pedal down.

Oh, my Lord!

How does it do that on ice?

Part of the reason, of course,

is that unlike the Puma ST,

the Rally1 comes equipped with four-wheel drive.

Plus, there's a super-strong steel space frame

clad in lightweight body panels

that makes the Rally1 a full 100kg lighter.

However, the extra performance that all this

and that modern hybrid power brings

does come at a price.

It costs about three-quarters of a million quid,

which I know is quite steep. But right now,

I can't think of anything I'd rather spend

the same amount of money on more than this.

Whoa-ho!

(ENGINE ROARS)

You'll notice I'm using a gear lever.

I've not seen that in about 25 years in World Rallying.

The regulations want a more mechanical,

analogue car this year. They've certainly got one.

(WHOOPS)

It's a fascinating car to drive because, in some respects,

it's exactly what I expected.

In others, it requires a lot more management,

and I've got so much respect for the drivers now.

They really aren't just arcade game machines.

They require concentration and more skill than I've got.

(ENGINE ROARS)

Oh, yes. Listen to that.

Or, in fact, don't...

(ENGINE ROAR STOPS)

...because another advantage of the Rally1

over its more affordable cousin

is that on the regular commute between your rally stages,

you can drive in clean, green silence.

Nothing to see here. Just driving along

in my electric World Rally car.

It's a genuine hybrid.

Ooh!

I wonder if M-Sport kept the MegaBox.

We can maybe stop for provisions.

The Rally1 can do 12 miles in EV mode,

so long as you drive it gently.

Hello.

But it has to be said,

if you ever do find yourself behind the wheel of one,

driving it gently is the last thing you'll want to do.

Oh, my Lord, it's fast. It's fast. (LAUGHS)

To be honest with you,

and you might have already guessed this,

this thing's got about as much to do

with a Puma as I have a fighter jet.

But on these roads...

...in these conditions -

unbeatable.

Fastest car on the planet.

Sensational!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

That is a monster.

It's a monster.

- It really is. - So let me get this right.

You went off to review

a sensible car that people could afford.

Yeah.

And you ended up

- driving a £750,000 rally car? - (LAUGHTER)

Yeah, apologies. But in my defence,

there was some take-home

consumer advice there. wasn't there?

If you want a small crossover, day-to-day stuff -

perfect - Puma ST.

If you want to enter the World Rally Championship,

- take the rally car. - (LAUGHTER)

- Helpful as ever, Chris. - There you go.

And now we move on to a question.

What's the best letter in motoring?

Do you know, you two? The one on the old boot lid.

Ooh, this is my kind of question, this is.

I'd say R - could be race or rally.

If you see R, you know it's gonna be something special.

I'm going T.

Turbo. Touring.

- You like tourers. - Love a tourer.

All right, strong guesses.

Both wrong,

because the best letter in motoring is this one.

M, as in BMW's legendary M Division.

The German engineering geniuses

who've been churning out some of

the world's finest fast cars for five decades.

This year, 2022, marks 50 years of the M Division.

So, to celebrate,

I thought I'd invite along some VIP guests.

And what a guest list this is. Oh, yes. Over the years,

the M Division has given us some proper legends.

But just think, none of these would be here today

if Ford hadn't been so annoyingly good.

You see, back in the late '60s and early '70s,

Ford was dominating world motor sport.

Its GT40 was a four-time Le Mans winner,

and in the European Touring Car Championship,

its gorgeous Capri was busy trashing rivals like BMW.

Hellbent on getting their own back, in 1972,

BMW poached Ford's motor sport boss

Jochen Neerpasch.

His brief was to build world-beating cars

for the racetrack and road.

His department would become the M Division.

And here's what they cooked up first.

This is the precursor to all those wonderful M cars to come.

This, my friends,

is a three-litre CSL, also known as the Batmobile.

Lightweight, tuned-up, with proper working downforce,

it was nothing short of a race car for the road,

that wasn't technically road legal.

The idea was, you took it on a track,

you whizzed round all day,

humming the theme to Batman, and then,

before you got back on the road,

you whipped off the rear wing, put it in the boot

and off you went.

Obviously it was the '70s

and obviously no-one did that.

Happier times.

The Batmobile was an instant icon.

And what better way for the M Division to follow it

than with a supercar.

The M1 arrived in 1978,

proof to the world that it wasn't just Italy

who could do the whole slinky, mid-engine performance thing.

But, pretty as it was,

and reliable to boot,

the M1 was really a bit of a sideshow...

...because the car that would come to truly define

the M badge would arrive a few years later,

in 1986.

The birth of a legend.

The original BMW M3.

It might be nearly 40 years old,

but this is peak M car right here.

Pure,

raw,

joyous...

(TYRES SCREECH)

...M!

Just like the old Batmobile,

the M3 was shot through with motorsport DNA.

Suspension, brakes, gearbox -

all of it came from the racing world.

It might have had just 200 horsepower,

but trust me, that was all it needed.

It's light, it's sparkly.

It feels alive, this thing!

(TYRES SCREECH)

It's like a Border collie itching to get out for a walk.

"Get down, Shep, get down!"

In fact, the only downside to the original M3

was that it did attract a certain crowd.

(SHOUTS) Hello? What's that? No, I'm in an M3!

Yes, the '80s saw the arrival of the yuppie.

Those wannabe wolves of Wall Street

all needed something cutting-edge and Continental

to match their monster Motorolas

and flash Rolexes.

The M Division's finest was the perfect choice.

Which meant the M3 did gain

a little bit of a bad reputation.

You know all those typical BMW driver stereotypes?

Well, this is the car that started it all.

(CHUCKLES) But I can forgive all that

because this thing is absolute perfection.

Oh...

And now that the M Division had found their formula,

they set about refining it.

Understated on the outside, race-bred underneath,

the next couple of decades brought bigger engines,

more power, more speed.

And it all reached a bit of a head...

...with this.

The 2004 BMW M5.

You see, in the early noughties,

BMW's F1 car was powered by a big, revvy V10 engine.

So the good people at the M Division thought,

"Hey, why can't we put one of those

"in a family saloon?"

Well, it turned out...

...they could.

And it sounds like...

(ENGINE REVS)

...the end of days.

(LAUGHS) This is fast!

Whoa!

500 brake horsepower.

It'll still spin past 8,000 RPM.

If you take the limiter off this thing...

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

...they reckon it'll go up to 200mph.

It's absolutely bananas!

This was the M Division declaring to the world

that when it comes to supercar-quick saloons,

nobody else comes close.

These are what the M Division are all about.

And yes, over the years, they've dabbled with quick SUVs

and other odds and ends,

but these,

these are the heartland.

In fact, you can trace a line right from the original M3,

through all of these, all the way up to...this.

The new M3.

A car that's channelling 50 years

of M Division know-how.

(CHUCKLES)

Get round there!

Man alive!

It's packing 500 horsepower

from a twin-turbo six-cylinder engine.

And that's just the start.

It's got an eight-speed automatic gearbox.

A clever four-wheel-drive option.

You can configure the steering, dampers...

You can even do the brake pedal.

It is big, and it is clever.

Oh, and did I mention...?

Very, very fast.

(ENGINE REVS)

Yes! You little German beauty!

But on the subject of beauty,

it's hard to ignore

that massive-nostrilled elephant in the room.

There's no getting around it, is there?

Who signed that off?

I know they say beauty's in the eye of the beholder,

but come on!

Whoever designed that

needs to have a long, hard look at theirself in the mirror.

And talking downsides,

for a car wearing that badge,

there is a bigger one.

It's overcomplicated.

Yes, it's fast and it's fun to drive,

but you feel disconnected from it.

The computer takes over and does everything.

So if you look at it on paper,

it's the ultimate machine.

But is it the ultimate driving machine?

I'm not so sure.

The trouble is, over the years,

all cars have become bigger, heavier and more complicated.

And that's where M cars have gone too.

But then every now and again,

they go and build a car that lets you know

they haven't completely forgotten

where they came from.

The 1M.

A purified, pocket-sized, back-to-basics coupé

that turned up back in 2011

as a true spiritual successor

to the original M3.

It is good to be back. I used to own one of these.

And yes, I absolutely loved it.

Let's see if it's as good as I remember.

(ENGINE REVS)

(CHUCKLES) Here we go.

This is what it's all about.

(TYRES SCREECH)

No fancy dampers, no multi-mode brake pedal.

Just a dinky car...

- (TYRES SCREECH) - Whoa!

...with a punchy engine, rear-wheel drive,

and someone clinging

onto the steering wheel for dear life.

Yes! Come on!

What made the 1M so special

was that, with just 335 horsepower,

it was never about raw performance.

Its M-car genius was all in the feel.

Woohoo!

Oh, man, I love the little short gear changes.

I love this steering wheel.

I love everything about this car.

You're totally connected to it.

Do you know what?

When they get it right, they get it right.

This thing is absolute driving joy.

Why did I get rid of it?!

Well, I know why -

me wife told me to.

Happy birthday, M Division.

And here's to 50 more glorious years.

- (TYRES SCREECH) - Get out there!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

PADDY: Double teapot.

FREDDIE: I'm not happy either. Not happy.

McGuinness, how could you go and do that without me?

BMW M cars is my specialist subject.

I can talk about them for hours.

That's exactly why we didn't send you.

Looking down the line,

they're not getting any prettier, are they?

Well, I mean,

what's going on with these grilles, Christopher?

I don't know. The car looks better if I stand here.

Yeah. Why, though?

What was the reasoning behind it?

Well, they apparently designed it after Fred Flintoff -

two massive teeth down the front end.

- Oh! Oh! Why? - Oh...

Why? I've got feelings.

And now, we must move on to talk about the future.

Cos we all know the petrol era is coming to an end,

which, for your traditional petrolhead,

might sound like bad news.

But don't worry, because we're here to tell you

that the future of fuel

is starting to look very interesting.

PADDY: Let's begin...

...with battery power.

Because for a long time now, if you wanted to go green,

batteries have been pretty much your only option.

But, let's be honest,

it's only just lately

that they've really started turning heads.

Take the sensational Back To The Future styling

of Hyundai's IONIQ 5.

The Mustang Mach-E -

a family crossover

that packs nearly 500 horsepower.

Or, how about a car that looks to be heading

where no EV has gone before?

The CUPRA Born.

Strange name, interesting car.

This could be the first-ever all-electric hot hatch.

Wahey!

Now, it's based on VW's not very hot ID3.

But over in the Spanish sunshine,

CUPRA, the new sporty wing of SEAT,

has been busy heating things up.

Compared to the ID3, this is lower,

the suspension's sharper, and this particular one

is around 200 horsepower.

All very hot-hatchy. Whoa-hoa!

What's a bit less hot-hatchy, though,

is that old eco problem

of lugging around a big, heavy battery.

The weight's all low down,

which means it's pretty flat into the corners,

but it's just missing a little bit of zip,

a little bit of zing.

Nah.

It's more of a lukewarm hatch.

Tepid. Cool to the touch.

Cool-to-the-touch hatch.

So no, at just over 30 grand,

the Born isn't gonna tempt you away from your Golf GTI.

But it does show that more affordable EVs

are just starting to have some fun.

The Born is injecting a little bit of Latin flair

into the beige world of electric hatchbacks.

CHRIS: Which is all well and good.

But up at the top of the range,

EVs have been putting on a very convincing show

for a while now.

Mostly thanks to this.

(TYRES SCREECH)

The Porsche Taycan.

The unbelievably quick,

incredibly capable four-door saloon

that has been embarrassing petrol performance cars

since it launched a couple of years ago.

And now,

to keep the great battery charge advancing...

...the Germans have sent in some backup.

The Audi e-tron GT.

This might just be

the first electric car you could buy on looks alone.

It's an absolute knockout!

And it's beautiful inside too.

They've not gone Tesla minimalist here.

It feels like a posh Audi -

an even posher Audi than normal.

Underneath the fantastic fit and finish,

the GT actually shares the same chassis, gearbox,

and a lot of the same technology as the Taycan.

And do you know what?

It might actually be better to drive than the Porsche.

It's a bit more comfortable.

The whole chassis feels just a bit more intuitive.

This is an Audi that's better to drive

than the equivalent Porsche.

I mean, the world's been turned upside down.

There are no rules any more.

What there is instead...

...is power.

Now, this version has over 500 horsepower,

and this isn't even the fastest one.

But this is still absurdly quick, it really is.

You don't need a car faster than this.

And here's the best bit.

Crusty old journalists like me have complained for years

that Audis don't oversteer. Watch this.

(TYRES SCREECH)

Straight away,

massive, massive rear-wheel-drive skids.

(LAUGHS)

PADDY: So, new electric cars - no longer boring.

And it doesn't stop there.

Because whether it's a charged-up Cobra,

a battery-powered Beetle,

or a Defender that's swapped diesel for DC,

there are now loads of companies out there

giving timeless classics a new lease of life

by swapping their fumey old engines

for batteries and motors.

Although, it must be said,

for your traditional petrolhead,

this is...

...a tricky area.

Hey, now, this is a bit of you at the end, innit?

What do you reckon

about having an electric motor in one?

I just don't know. I'm so confused.

- Mm. - I love my 911, and I love it

because of the sound of the flat-six.

Absolutely.

I mean, this is what I lie awake at night thinking about.

So, I... (SIGHS)

I were gonna say, we're gonna drive one apiece.

I think I know which one you're gonna go for.

- I've got to have a go in it. - Yeah.

Do you know what I'm gonna do?

The old e-Defender. I'm gonna give it a whirl.

Why's it got exhaust pipes? Has yours got exhaust pipes?

What?

CHRIS: Sacrilegious as it may seem, though,

what cannot be denied

is the performance this kind of transplant yields,

as we shall now demonstrate with a drag race.

Electric classics versus

their old fossil-fuelled equivalents.

MAN: (ON RADIO) Three, two, one, go!

Whooooa! Oh, my God!

I've just been done by a Defender.

I'm in a Defender! Wow!

Wow, look at him go!

But now I'm going.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

There's the Porsche. Yes!

And now we're going away.

Over the line at 120. That's quick.

Wheey-hey-hey!

Whoa! Oh!

Oh, my...

That Defender off the line, good Lord!

Oh, here's the other little Porsche.

Here he is. Too late now. Already got it.

OK, electric...

...demolishes petrol in a straight line.

I have just literally left a Porsche for dead

in a Land Rover Defender.

What a time to be alive!

I want one of these.

Can you imagine just someone pulling up

at the side of you at the lights

thinking, "Oh, I'll burn this off."

And you're like, "Will ya?"

PADDY: And the best part is...

Whaaaaaaaaa!

...when it comes to the future of fuel,

batteries aren't even the most exciting tech going.

Time for our next fuel of the future,

with Professor Harris.

Hydrogen.

The most abundant element in our universe.

And if you can get it on its own,

it's something you can power your car with.

Now, the science behind it is pretty straightforward.

In one end comes some hydrogen,

and it mixes with oxygen from the atmosphere.

There they go - mix, mix.

And through a complicated exchange of protons

and electrons and other things,

you get - this is the clever bit -

electricity.

That and that equals that.

Isn't it brilliant?

And the only by-product,

the thing that comes out of your exhaust,

is this - good old H2O.

Water.

Now, if you've extracted your hydrogen

using green electricity,

the whole process is carbon-neutral.

And the even cleverer thing is...

...hydrogen packs a punch.

Now, in rocket A, we have two grams of petrol.

And in rocket B, we have two grams of hydrogen.

And we're going to find out

which produces the biggest bang.

Serious science, this.

So, first up - petrol.

Lovely, explode-y petrol.

OK.

And now - hydrogen.

That's a clear win for hydrogen.

The only problem is...

...while a few companies are developing

this exciting, elegant technology,

up to now, the most exciting, elegant car

that anyone's found to put it in...

...is this.

- The Toyota Mirai. - Yes.

It essentially just drives like an electric car.

Well, that's what a hydrogen car is.

It's just storing its energy in different ways.

A normal electric car conventionally has a battery.

This stores hydrogen,

and then uses a fuel cell to convert it.

You have a tank out the back,

and you can fill this thing up like you would a petrol car.

It's a liquid. So, fill it up,

away you go. A couple of minutes,

400 miles of range.

Try that in an electric car.

Now, I must say,

that is quite a good thing compared to electric cars.

That's what drives me mad with electric cars.

- Exactly. - It's the amount of time

you've gotta put...

So where do you fill up an hydrogen car?

There are fuel stations all over the country.

- How many? - 12.

- 12? - 12.

- Last year... - Yeah?

...there were 15 people born in this country...

- Yeah? - ...given the name Lucifer.

No, there weren't!

So, you've got more chance of running into

a baby Lucifer than you have

of finding a hydrogen fuel station.

Well, it's got its downsides, OK?

But these are the upsides, all right?

First of all, we're not carting around a great big battery,

which is really, really heavy.

Second of all, you read all these stories about

digging up nasty metals from the ground

and all the stuff that goes on with that.

- Cobalt. - There's none of that, OK?

And thirdly,

you can use the existing petrol network.

So, if you go to BP,

where there's LPG,

there could by hydrogen. Come on, get on board, Pad.

I am on board, believe it or not.

And this goes quite well. Come on.

Yeah, the science stacks up, no denying that.

So why have they put it all in something so vanilla?

We need a hydrogen supercar.

I agree. Er, can we now do something more exciting?

Cos I am getting quite sleepy here.

Yes.

CHRIS: Indeed we could.

Because what if there was a way to go green

without giving up on the combustion engine?

(MOTOR REVS)

A way to go green without giving up all that noise.

(MOTOR REVS)

That drama.

That soul.

(MOTOR REVS)

Introducing synthetic fuel.

(TYRES SCREECH)

Look at the go on that Lamborghini!

Man alive!

Whoa-ho-ho!

What a machine.

These synthetic fuels,

they're pretty big news at the moment.

The fuel that's in this car

was the brainchild of genius Formula 1 engineer

Paddy Lowe.

So I am literally Paddy-powered,

but in the right way.

What very clever engineers like Mr Lowe have managed to do

is create a petrol made not from oil

but from carbon dioxide captured from the air

and hydrogen extracted from water.

The result is a fuel that, when burned,

emits only the CO2 that was extracted

to make it in the first place.

So, as long as you're using green electricity

to power production,

it is completely carbon-neutral.

And the really good thing about this is,

it'll work in any petrol car, no matter how old or how new.

You can even mix it with your regular fuel.

It's absolute genius!

And it might just save some of these old dinosaurs

from extinction.

Ah!

They say the Aventador will be the last Lamborghini

without electrical assistance.

The last free-breathing, pure V12.

And just listen to that noise!

759 horsepower.

(ENGINE REVS)

This new GT3 just ticks all the boxes.

Flat-six, normally aspirated, revs at 9,000 RPM.

(ENGINE REVS)

Whoo!

PADDY: Before you go thinking this is the answer

to all our petrolhead prayers, though...

Ah!

...we should point out a couple of drawbacks.

The main issue being you can't just

pop into your local petrol station

to fill up with synthetic fuel.

This stuff is experimental.

It's extremely rare.

CHRIS: Which means it's expensive.

And if you want a number at the moment,

about ten quid a litre.

But, while we wait to see whether synthetic fuels

will one day become affordable enough for the masses,

what we do at least now know...

...is that with the sun setting on fossil fuels...

...the new dawn is starting to look very bright indeed.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Oh, just stupidly fast.

Huh?

I thought it was gonna do a wheelie. They're crazy.

Oh, man.

That was very informative, boys.

But what I wanna talk about is these electric classics,

cos if I was gonna get an electric car,

apart from that Rivian,

that's how I'd do it.

All the fun, all the looks, none of the maintenance.

And I've gotta say,

the first five seconds of being in this car,

that acceleration,

compared to everything I've driven on Top Gear,

that's the most fun I've had, ever.

Anything?

Aston Martin Victors, Ferrari Romas, DB5s...

This, for that first five seconds,

was bonkers.

You know how he squeaks? That was peak squeak.

- That was. Oh, it was. - Right up there.

- It was amazing. - I was full squeaking.

And also, synthetic fuel, hey, hey?

I'm all over this.

He's been on the internet again.

- Here we go. - Oh, no.

It's all in the fun of a petrol engine,

completely green.

That's the magic bullet right there.

It could be, but it just depends

if they can make it cheap enough, doesn't it?

If they can, then we might be having a lot more fun

in silly petrol-engine cars for some time to come.

Fingers crossed.

And on that unusually optimistic note,

we must end the show, and the series. What?!

(AUDIENCE AND HOSTS GROAN)

It was like being in panto, that.

We'll be back later in the year.

Thank you so much for watching. Goodnight.

(CHEERING)