All language subtitles for SurrealEstate.S01E02(1)

[ SCREAMING ]

I'm Luke Roman.

‐ MEGAN:
Are you a priest?

‐ LUKE:
I'm the Real Estate guy.

I'm about one thing:
protecting the God‐given

market‐driven value
of your property

from anything in this world...

Or the next.

‐ You're talking
about haunted houses?

LUKE:
Everybody, this is

Susan Ireland, our new agent.

Zooey, our office manager.

Father Phil.
He does our research.

August designs some of our
proprietary technology.

‐ SUSAN:
What exactly do we do?

‐ LUKE:
The client is Donovan. Megan.

You know the drill.
Complete psychokinetic triage,

malevolent entity evaluation.

‐ LAUREN:
You're the ghost guy.

Ah!

‐ The technical
term is telekinesis.

‐ This happened to you,
when you were my age?

‐ Your house? I've been
watching it for a while.

Before your grandfather
bought the place,

she came next door
to complain about the weeds.

Nobody ever saw that lady again.

‐ Your mother?

‐ I believe it's going to be
very interesting

working for you.

‐ I believe
that you're right.

[ DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

[ QUIET EERIE MUSIC ]

[ INDISCTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ THRASHING AND GRUNTING ]

‐ GIRL:
Come on.

Dad!

[ WINDOW LOCK ENGAGES ]

[ WINDOW LOCK ENGAGES ]

[ WINDOW LOCK ENGAGES ]

♪♪♪♪♪

‐ BOY:
Come on! Dad!

‐ DAD:
Calm down.

[ SCREAMING ]

[ HEAVY THUDS AND CRASHES ]

[ MOANING AND SCREAMING ]

‐ DAD:
Oh, god, no!

[ DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

[ LOUD EXPLOSION ]

[ CAR ALARM ]

♪♪♪ Opening Theme ♪♪

[ MAN SCREAMING ]

[SIGN SQUEAKS ]

[ FOOTSTEPS ]

[ BOY GIGGLING ]

‐ JAMIE:
His pants were ripped

and everybody could see
his underwear.

And he didn't know.

I wonder how long he had to
walk around like that

with everybody looking at
his underwear?

[ KNOCKING ]

‐ TOM:
Jamie?

Who are you
talking to?

‐ JAMIE:
Just Rory.

‐ Well, tell Rory
it's bedtime, okay?

Goodnight.

‐ Goodnight.

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

‐ CINDY:
I don't like him.

‐ He's my dad.

‐ It's been so long

since I've had
somebody to play with.

Now he wants to
take you away.

‐ We have to move.

My mom has
a new job.

‐ Please don't go.

Please.

Or Rory and I
will eat you up.

[ GROWLING ]

[ GIGGLING ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DING ]

[ ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN ]

‐ SUSAN:
Morning!

‐ ZOOEY:
If our coffee was any worse,

we'd qualify as a
Superfund site.

[ MICROWAVE BEEPS ]

‐ Oh, excuse me.
[ CHUCKLES ]

‐ Right.

‐ You know,
it's amazing

how the introduction
of just one foreign body

can disrupt
one's Feng Shui.

[ OFFICE PHONE RINGS ]

[ SLURPING ]

‐ Mm. Ugh!

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

‐ LUKE:
Well, now that Rita's

not breathing down our necks...

I'd like to step back

and give you
the kind of orientation

that any new associate deserves.

‐ Orientation?

‐ I'm not going to presume
to teach you

anything about real estate,
but, uh,

our way of doing things
might be different

from what you're‐‐

‐ I do things a certain way.
‐ It's just‐‐

‐ My process has been honed
to a razor sharpness

by years of experience
and results.

‐ I respect your honing,

but there are things
that you'll come up against here

that may be new.

‐ I'm not scared.

The Quincys.

Tom and Patty, son Jamie.

Three‐bedroom, two bath,
2,600 square feet.

Nice place.

‐ Very nice.

Nice neighborhood,
nice price.

But they had two buyers
walk out of their contracts

after inspections
and one prospect

he literally ran from the house
in the middle of a showing.

‐ She's very pretty.

‐ Who?

‐ Seems nice, too.

‐ You're referring
to the homeowner?

‐ Megan Donovan.
You're kind of into her.

‐ I was evaluating
the curb appeal.

She's in a relationship.
And she's a client.

‐ Oh. Well. Sorry.

Capulets, Montagues.

Forbidden.

‐ I like to keep my life
in neat, little piles.

Work ‐ personal.

‐ I'll have to
try that sometime.

‐ PATTY:
So, all these years living here?

Nothing.

We put it up for sale

and everyone starts hearing
things and seeing things...

‐ TOM: Yeah, well,
everybody but us.

‐ The inspector said
he heard a child crying

as if her heart would break.

‐ You have a
little boy, don't you?

‐ Jamie was in school.

‐ And when the prospect
walked out in the middle‐‐?

‐ Ran. That lady
ran out of here.

‐ The agent said she saw
some sort of apparition

floating in the hall.

‐ Well, she's crazy.

Aren't you guys supposed to
screen out the crazy people?

‐ Well, sadly, the mortgage
prequalification process

only goes so far.

‐ As she left,
she gave us your name.

‐ Look, I want to
make something clear:

we don't believe in ghosts,
or spooks, or evil spirits

or any of that crap, okay?

Look, we don't believe
in anything.

‐ We're Presbyterian.

‐ Patty starts the new job
in two weeks.

Spent a fortune
on the new place out there.

This double mortgage
is eating us alive.

So, can you help us or not?

‐ Yes. Yes, we can.

We'll prepare a
personalized marketing plan

targeting the demographic
and income levels

predisposed
to this neighborhood,

configuration and amenity set

and use a proprietary algorithm
to identify and exploit channels

to reach them at their
most sensitive touchpoints.

‐ Uh, the master suite's
down the hall.

It's got a really nice
sitting area.

‐ Hm.

I blame those inspectors.

Know what? They're just looking
for something.

‐ SUSAN:
Oh, is this a whirlpool?

‐ And real estate agents?
Don't get me started.

‐ I won't.

‐ Mom, I can't find
my red jacket.

‐ Honey, we're a little busy
right now.

Put Josh back in the cage,
make sure it's latched, okay?

‐ This must be Jamie.

Hi.

‐ SUSAN:
An oasis of luxurious living!

It's impossible to
overstate the appeal

of those kinds of
intimate spaces.

♪♪♪ Eerie music ♪♪♪

[ HIGH‐PITCHED RINGING ]

[ SWING SQUEAKS ]

‐ What did they want?

‐ They're here
to sell the house.

‐ But I don't
want you to go.

‐ I know, but I...
My family‐‐

‐ I'm your family!

And if you move,
I'll be all alone.

Again.

I'll be so sad.

I'll do...

something to myself.

I'll climb out that window
and up onto the roof

and I'll jump! I'll die!

My bones will break
and blood will come out

of my eyes and it'll be
all your fault!

‐ Hey, everybody!
New client.

‐ PHIL:
Hey! You're back!

‐ You sound surprised.

‐ AUGUST:
Our track record

with new employee retention
has been, um...

lacklustre.

‐ Okay, so, 12 Marion Drive.
Haverford neighborhood.

‐ Sweet.

‐ I need you to do a history on
the house and underlying dirt.

Homeowners say that they
never had an encounter,

but I picked up something from
the boy. He had a secret.

‐ What? You thinking
a Harvey?

‐ I don't know.
Maybe a Lassie.

The aural emanations might
tell us something

about trajectory and intent.

Just add it into
the standard PKT protocol.

Anything else?

‐ Um, just a
couple of things.

Father Phil, I have opened
a Dropbox folder

on the Quincy account.

If you could send me
all your research,

I'll add it in so we have
a comprehensive database.

‐ See, ah,

it's just that I like
to keep my own files.

‐ Sure, but if we have
everyone's data

in a centralized location,

it's easy for everyone
to access. Okay?

‐ Probably not
going to do that.

‐ August, I assume
you'll physically go

to the Quincy house to do
these initial tests of yours?

‐ The beginning is the most
important part of the work.

Plato.

‐ Ah, I have a plumber
going to the house tomorrow.

So, maybe we could
coordinate our ETAs

to make sure we're not, like,
descending on the Quincys

all at once?

‐ I dislike plumbers.

My ETA is...
liquid.

‐ See, the plumber
is really important

and you can do your thing
anytime, right?

So, maybe we both submit
our avails to Zooey

and she could work up
a spreadsheet?

Oh, maybe I could send you
one of the templates I created?

‐ Yeah. And then maybe
I could print it out

and you could roll it up
and shove it up your‐‐

‐ Maybe this meeting
is finished.

Lots to do, everybody!

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

‐ So, a couple more things.

‐ Yep.

‐ What's a Harvey?

‐ It's shorthand
for imaginary friend.

It was this movie
with Jimmy Stewart‐‐

‐ Ah. I am aware of
the rabbit movie.

So, a Lassie is...?

‐ A helpful spirit that latches
onto a living being,

usually a child.

‐ So, why
not just say that?

‐ Why'd you say ETA instead
of estimated time of arrival?

‐ And so a PKT is...?

‐ Psycho‐Kinetic Triage.

It's an initial evaluation
that gives us our, uh,

baseline snapshot into a
property's level of engagement.

‐ It's all so new.

So odd.

‐ Relax.

It's like learning French.

First, you immerse yourself
in it, then you listen,

and study and,
before you know it,

you're speaking it
all on your own,

murdering the verbs and
giving the locals a good laugh.

‐ Think the locals
hate me already.

‐ Nobody hates you.

We need you.

‐ You might wanna
mention that to them.

[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]

‐ SUSAN: All right.

But please ask August
to call me ASAP.

Yes, I'm here
staging the house now.

This little boy's room
is a war zone.

Yes, Zooey, I believe
a disorderly room

is indicative
of a disorderly life.

My potty training was and
remains none of your business.

Just have August call me.
Thank you.

[ HAMSTER WHEEL SQUEAKING ]

You have your wheel.

I have mine.

[ LOW BOOM ]

♪♪♪ Eerie music ♪♪♪

[ EERIE CREAKING ]

[ THUD; OBJECT SLIDING ACROSS
FLOOR UPSTAIRS ]

[ CINDY CRYING ]

[ GASP ]

♪♪♪ music fades out ♪

♪♪♪ sudden loud music ♪
[ GASP ]

[ CINDY CRYING ]

‐ Help me!

‐ What...?

Who‐who are...?

‐ Betsy! My doll.

I can't go home without Betsy!

‐ Where... is she?

‐ Up there. I can't reach her.

[ OBJECT SLIDING ACROSS
ATTIC FLOOR ]

[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]
[ GASP ]

‐ Yes? What? Who is it?

‐ Not the plumber.

If it meets with your
exacting scheduled parameters,

I'll be arriving
at the Quincy house shortly.

‐ August, I saw her!

A‐a little girl.

‐ If one works at
Yellowstone National Park...

...one should not be surprised
to encounter a bear

every once in a while.

Have you told Luke?

‐ It just happened!

‐ Tell him.
I'll be there shortly.

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

[ PHONE LINE TRILLING ]

‐ Susan!

What's up?

‐ I'm in the
little boy's room.

I‐I‐I just saw her.
A‐a‐a little girl.

She was wearing a red dress...

She was here
and then she wasn't.

‐ Okay, you need to
download Father Phil.

I need to run a quick errand and
then I'll be back at the office.

‐ And then we‐‐

we find her unfinished business
and‐and finish it, right?

‐ Yeah.

But first we need to be sure
exactly what we're dealing with.

You okay?

‐ Sure.

Yes. I got this.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ SHUTTER CLICKING ]

‐ MEGAN:
Selfies? Really?

‐ Oh, hi! I didn't see you.

‐ Yeah. Obviously.

‐ I really wasn't taking selfies
with your house.

That would be creepy.
No, it's just sometimes

these properties can act
a little differently

when your back is turned.

‐ How does a house
act differently?

‐ Oh, I've had exterior colours
change, windows shift.

I had one once ‐‐
I turned my back

and the central chimney
extended by six feet.

Like it was giving
me the finger.

‐ I don't know
when to believe you.

I know we faced down
evil together

and tossed it a pork chop,

but I still have these moments
when I think maybe

you should be detained
and studied.

‐ Ah, you'd have to
buy me dinner first.

‐ So, uh,
that's why you came by?

‐ Just wanted to let you know
that we are on the job.

Phil is tracking down
the original paperwork

on the house
and August is doing what

August does.

‐ I just want to‐‐

Excuse me.

Brock, put on pants!

Kids walk to school
past here.

Oh, my god.

[ SIGH ]

‐ So, we check the title history
for surprises.

We update the website
and brochure.

‐ Mm‐hm.

‐ We revitalize the floors and
we fluff up the throw pillows.

Then we pop a couple
amyl nitrates under our nostrils

and we sell this thing!

‐ I am not going to
miss this place.

‐ Me neither.

Not the place, no.

♪♪♪ gentle music ♪♪♪

[ DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ OBJECT DRAGGED ACROSS FLOOR
IN ATTIC ]

♪♪♪ Tense music ♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

‐ Talked to Susan,

but I can't find any evidence of
a post‐animative tether

connecting the house
to any little girl.

It's a pretty bold move
for a Harvey.

‐ That's what I thought.

‐ Did she freak?

‐ Susan?

‐ Mm.

‐ No, actually.

♪♪♪♪♪

[ GASPS ]

[ HIGH‐PITCHED RINGING ]

[ RELIEVED CHUCKLE AND SIGH ]

[ FLUTTERING ]

[ SCREAM ]
[ RAVEN CAWS ]

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

[ SCREAM ]

‐ Ah!

[ GASPING ]

Ah!

‐ Oh! August! Oh, my God!

‐ Are you, uh, all right?

‐ Did you see it?

[ GASPING FOR BREATH ]

It was‐‐ It was this huge black
bird and...

It attacked me and then‐and then
it was gone! It was...

[ EXHALE ]

I mean, it was a crow
or something.

‐ Sounds like a raven.

‐ A raven?
Are you certain?

‐ Never more.

♪♪♪ Mischievous music ♪

‐ No, pigtails.

Braided.

And her eyes were blue.

Oh, she was such a
pretty little girl.

And so sad.

‐ A little girl
did this to you?

‐ No. It was a crow!

‐ No, actua‐‐
‐ Or a raven!

Whatever it was,
it was huge!

Like the size of a...
condor,

or a Jonas brother.

‐ So what about the dress?

‐ Red.

Gingham print...

Old‐school.

That's it.
That's her.

‐ You weren't near
a Wendy's, were you?

‐ Hey!

(Cuban accent) Say hello
to our little friend.

‐ What were you
doing in the attic?

‐ The little girl said
she left her doll up there.

‐ Wait ‐‐ and
you believed her?

‐ She's dead, right?
Why would she lie?

[ SCOFFS ]

‐ Could you
give us a second?

‐ So, I have a couple who
wants to see the Quincy house.

I know it's still a little,
like, problematic,

but these buyers are motivated,
and I think it's best if we‐‐

‐ Not yet.

‐ I understand the
spooky little girl of it all,

but these people are pre‐qualled
and motivated.

They are jacked to transact
and I think it's best if we‐‐

‐ I want you
to look at something

that happened
eight months ago.

‐ NEWS REPORTER:
...but by the time

fire crews arrived, the home
was burning out of control.

All four occupants of
the home are believed dead:

Mr. and Mrs. Henry Travis,
daughter, Alexis,

and son, Martin.

Investigators suspect a
gas leak, and the family‐‐

[ TV SOUND CLICKS OFF ]

‐ Family...

♪♪♪ Melancholy music ♪

A very nice family.

They'd experienced
a few minor phenomena,

a few moans and rattles,
moving furniture...

Certainly
nothing dangerous.

Or so we thought.

But we failed them.

I failed them.

I believed the thing
that told me

that it just wanted to see
how a real family worked

and then move along.

But the investigators found
the parts of the bodies

of that nice family of four
in eleven smoking pieces,

and what I'm getting
at here, Susan,

is those things,
they can hurt you!

They are dangerous.

And until you learn
a little more about them,

you might want to think about
doing things our way.

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪ Tense music ♪♪♪

‐ No!

Jamie! Honey!
Don't move!

‐ JAMIE:
Cindy! Please, don't‐‐

‐ Tom! Help!

‐ JAMIE:
She's going to jump.

‐ Cindy! Cindy, don't...!

‐ Hang on, buddy! Just...

away from the edge, buddy.

‐ I can't!
She's going to jump!

‐ Bye, Jamie.

[ SCREAM ]

‐ He kept saying that
"she" was going to jump.

But he won't tell us
who "she" is.

‐ Susan's going to have
our contractor guy

come and fix
that attic window.

‐ Yeah, well, tell him
to bolt it shut.

‐ You bet.

Maybe, until we figure this out,
you folks should get a hotel‐‐

‐ What?

So Jamie can follow
his imaginary friend

onto an even
higher roof?

Or maybe into the pool?

I have a better idea:

how about you people
do your jobs?

♪♪♪♪♪

[ RAVENS CAWING ]

‐ Is it okay if I...?

You gave your parents a scare.

Do you want to tell me
about the little girl?

What's her name,
Mary, I think?

‐ Cindy.

‐ Cindy, yeah.

My friend, Ms. Ireland,
she saw Cindy.

Scared her to death.

But you're not scared, right?

‐ Not supposed to...

‐ I'm sorry, I couldn't‐‐

‐ I'm not supposed to
talk about her.

She‐she says if I tell
people about her,

we can't be friends anymore.

And if we're not friends...

‐ What happens if
you can't be friends?

‐ She says she'll
hurt somebody.

‐ Well, that's not very nice.

‐ Cindy says she's the
only family I need.

That we can play together
forever.

‐ Kind of sounds like you wish
that Cindy would just

leave you alone.

Jamie, you have to promise me
you won't do anything

Cindy tells you to do
that's dangerous.

Like yesterday on the roof.

Okay?

You say no.

'Cause we have to help Cindy go
where she's supposed to go.

Just you and me.

‐ It's just...

I don't have many friends.

♪♪♪ Melancholy music ♪

‐ I didn't either
when I was your age.

[ SCOFFS ]

You know what?

I still don't have
that many friends.

But the ones I do?

The ones I do have
are really, really good.

And that's the way
it's going to be with you.

I can tell.

Come on.

Ms. Ireland,
she brought cookies

and they're shaped like
little mortgage lenders.

You're gonna love 'em.

[ SWING SQUEAKS ]

♪♪♪ ominous music ♪♪

‐ ANTHONY:
Wow.

Lucky somebody wasn't hurt.

‐ You have no idea.

‐ I gotta go.

Anthony, bolt this up tight
after you get it fixed.

‐ Kid‐proof. You got it.

‐ Send us the bill.

‐ Hey, family discount!

‐ Remember...

no showings until we get
this figured out.

‐ No showings. Check!

[ ANTHONY WHISTLES HAPPILY ]

That tune.

It's from The Mikado.

‐ The lady knows her
Gilbert from her Sullivan.

‐ We did Pirates of Penzance
in high school.

I was Mabel.

‐ I totally
believe you as Mabel!

I was in a community theater
production of The Mikado.

Just the chorus ‐‐ one of the
Gentlemen of Japan.

‐ No small parts.

‐ Oh, god! The Mikado.

The music, the pageantry,

the casual racism!

‐ Oh.
‐ [ PHONE RINGS ]

This is Susan Ireland.

Yes.

I am telling you, Mike,
this house is perfect for you!

I just can't
show it right now.

I hope you ca‐‐

Cash?

No, I get it, Mike,
I do, but, uh...

Well, it's not a matter
of compensation, but I think‐‐

♪♪♪ gentle music ♪♪♪

Eight a. m.

But do not
tell anyone.

This is our secret, okay?

‐ JAMIE:
I'm sorry!

Please, no!

(heavy breathing)

‐ You talked to
the man about me.

‐ I didn't tell him anything!

[ GIGGLING ]

‐ I should punish you.

But I love you, Jamie.

I would never hurt you.

But I have to hurt somebody.

Otherwise, you won't learn.

♪♪♪ Tense music ♪♪♪

[ MOWER RATTLING ]

[ PANICKED BREATHING ]

‐ Cindy, don't.

Please, please no!

Stop!

Please, Cindy, no,
not my parents!

[ GIGGLING ]

No.

[ LOUDER GIGGLING ]

[ HAMSTER SQUEAKING ]

Josh.

Josh, no!

[ CRUNCHING ]

‐ See?

We learned something today.

[ GROWL ]

‐ When I saw this master suite
for the first time,

I made a noise which I have not
been able to duplicate since.

It is nothing less than
an urban oasis,

a sanctuary in which‐‐

‐ [ CINDY CRYING ]
‐ LORRAINE: Did you hear that?

‐ What?

‐ Sounds like somebody crying.

♪♪♪ Tense music ♪♪♪

‐ There is a sitting room
adjacent to the

actual sleeping area for
reading or quiet reflection.

[ OBJECT ROLLING ACROSS FLOOR ]

[ WOMAN SCREAMING ]

‐ MIKE:
What the hell was that?

‐ Noisy pipes?

[ ENGINE REVVING
AND TIRES SQUEALING ]

[ GEARSHIFT CHANGING ]

[ SQUEALING TIRES ]

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

‐ Can we have a word?

‐ The Quincys need to
sell this place.

The pressure's on.

‐ I told you no showings
for a good reason.

‐ She's just
a little girl!

‐ It is a mask!

A disguise for
something so powerful

that it could kill you.

Now, where are
Tom and Patty?

‐ Running errands.

Luke, I need the autonomy
to sell my listings my way.

‐ Susan, you are
the best agent

that I ever saw.

But on issues like this,
you need to check in with me

on everything.

You need to trust me

or go work somewhere else ‐‐

somewhere where
the barriers to a sale,

they don't come with
so many sharp teeth.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

♪♪♪ tense music ♪♪♪

Come on, Cindy.

No games.

[ GAME SPINNER SPINNING ]

What did I just say?

‐ You're different
from the others.

‐ You are exactly
what I expected.

‐ I'm so lonely.

I don't understand
where everybody went.

My mommy, my daddy?

They went up to the
light and I couldn't‐‐

‐ Bullshit.

[ ROAR ]

You are something
old and ugly.

‐ You're mean.

‐ You have no idea.

You like games?

Well, the game is on.

‐ Luke? I‐‐
‐ Get out, I'm working!

[ DOOR SLAMS SHUT ]

‐ SUSAN:
I don't know, Mom.

I just have this feeling

I've stepped in a
huge vocational turd.

‐ Oh, it has to be better
than working for that‐‐

ugh ‐‐ Livingston person.

‐ I was too needy.

I pushed him back into
the arms of his wife.

‐ Well, you should have
pushed him into a woodchipper.

‐ I thought I landed
this really sweet gig.

Doing what I love
in a fresh new paradigm.

A clean start.

‐ Okay, so what happened?

‐ The boss, the guy
who hired me, Luke?

I thought he was this
really great guy.

He's a little weird, but

it's been
a sliding scale lately.

He just really
disappointed me today.

And none of the others like me.

‐ Well, it's your first week.
Give 'em time.

‐ They laugh at me!

They use obscure words
that I‐I don't understand.

It's...

It's just not at all
what I had hoped.

‐ You don't think you're being
just a little tough on them?

‐ Mom.

‐ Well, you know you tend to be
impatient with people,

expecting them to fall in line
right away and come around

to your perfect way
of doing things.

‐ My way is not
always perfect,

but it's so much better
than everybody else's!

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

I said that
out loud, didn't I?

So, what, I'm just supposed to
lower my standards?

‐ Oh, this isn't about
lowering your standards, love,

It's about opening your heart.

Let them see
who you really are.

I bet they'll like her.

[ CHUCKLE ]

[ GLASSES CLINK ]

♪♪♪♪♪

[ KNOCKING ]

[ ELECTRONICS HUMMING ]

‐ Working late, I see.

‐ Is that the
Quincy place?

‐ Yes.

Nothing much happening now

but let me, uh,
play you back an event

the sensors picked up
this morning.

‐ That's about the time
I was there.

‐ It appeared to be
a light to moderate engagement

right up to here.

[ STATIC BUZZING ]

Then it became
something completely different.

[ GROWL ]

A huge power drain
when it changed.

We have a, uh...

doughboy, perhaps?

‐ No, this is nastier
than a doughboy.

More powerful. An LRG?

[ EXPELS AIR ]

‐ God help us.

‐ How long to whip up
a 30 angstrom M. E. D.

in a portable
yet stylish container?

‐ Not long.

But it would only work
against the beast

in its true form.

During one of those spikes.

Luke?

You must be careful.

If this is

what I think it is,

it is old,

it is cunning.

It also has an ego
and is easily distracted.

Use that.

But remember...

it only exists
to inflict pain and sorrow.

And it sees you coming.

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪ Light music ♪♪♪

‐ You got it right.

‐ Zooey, what we need

is a way to coordinate
our subcontractor visits.

I don't care if it's a‐a
database, a spreadsheet,

whatever.

You design something,
I will use it

and I will make sure
everyone else does, too.

Fair enough?

‐ I have thoughts.

Uh, Susan?

Thank you for the quad long shot
medium‐in‐a‐large‐double cup

half‐caff salted caramel mocha
latte with two pumps

of vanilla and extra foam.

‐ You're welcome.

Black coffee.
No room for cream.

‐ Yeah. Thanks.

Perfect!

These are from the deep dive
we're doing on Quincy.

I'll‐I'll get them
to you as soon as I‐‐

‐ Your files,
your rules.

Send me whatever,
whenever.

‐ It's a deal.

[ OFFICE PHONE RINGS ]

‐ Do you know him?
The repair guy.

‐ We met.

‐ Hey, Mabel!

♪♪♪ I am the very model of a
modern building contractor. ♪♪

♪♪♪ I do this for a living now
because I'm such a bad actor. ♪♪

[ LAUGHS ]

Oh, come on!

That nearly rhymed,

Mister Office Decorum.

‐ I just love him.

‐ Yeah, I married him.

Now, if only we can get him
over his painful shyness.

‐ Hm.

‐ Susan, you got a minute?

‐ Yep.

‐ I need you to come with me
to the Quincy house.

‐ Okay.

‐ Look, I am sorry
about yesterday.

We are dealing with things
that, well...

you just don't
understand them.

Hell, I don't
understand them!

But I know them.

‐ So, how about sharing what you
know and being open and honest

instead of expecting me to check
with you every time I need to

wipe my...

luxurious granite countertops?

‐ Point taken. Come on.

In the spirit of
candor and transparency,

I should let you know that the
Quincys fired us last night.

‐ Oh.
‐ I did tell you

this would happen.

‐ Can I ask why
we're going back there?

‐ A little boy is in danger.

‐ You mean a
little girl, right?

‐ There is an entity
we call an LRG.

‐ Which stands for...?

‐ Little Red's Granny.

It's a particularly nasty demon
that assumes a friendly,

nonthreatening form
in order to seduce its victim.

And consume him.

Eat his life.

‐ God.

Well, what can we do?

‐ August built a device
that could destroy it

on the atomic level,
but I need to trigger it

when the LRG is stressed,

angry and distracted
and assumes its true form.

[ PRESSES ELEVATOR CALL BUTTON ]

I'll have maybe a second.

‐ So what am I
supposed to do?

‐ The tough job.

You need to talk to
the parents.

‐ Absolutely not!

What part of "you're fired"
do you people not get?

‐ Yeah. I can't waste
any more time.

‐ Well, where do
you think you're going?

‐ That's it‐‐
I'm calling the cops!

‐ Please! Let me explain.

‐ What's he doing
up there? Jamie!

‐ Listen!

I know you think my boss
is an incredible flake.

I agree!

He's a flake and‐and
nothing he says is,

on the surface,
credible.

We agree!
Common ground!

And I know you don't
believe in these things

and, you know what?
I don't believe in them either.

We are wearing
the same jersey!

But you need
to understand:

Luke gets results.

And I don't just mean
he sells houses ‐‐

sure, he does, but he does it by
fixing the stuff that's wrong.

And in your case, that means
getting rid of the thing

that lured your little boy
up on a roof.

Luke is a good guy.

Give him a chance.

♪♪♪ Emotional music ♪

♪♪♪ dramatic music ♪♪

[ CHOIR SINGING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]

[ DEVICE POWERING UP ]

♪♪♪♪♪

‐ Cindy?

I'm back!

I brought a real game.

You wanna play?

[ DOOR HINGES SQUEAKING ]

♪♪♪ unsettling music ♪

‐ This is all
so strange.

What does the horsey do?

‐ You can drop the
little‐girl routine.

We know it's a lie.

Jamie knows,
don't you, Jamie?

‐ Don't you see
what he's trying to do?

He's trying to break up
our friendship!

Our family!

‐ Knock it off!

It's your move.

‐ I don't like this game.

‐ No, you'd rather
play kids' games.

Games you can win.

That's really pathetic.

You're too stupid

and you're not capable
of playing with adults.

‐ You'd be surprised
what I'm capable of.

‐ Then go ahead.

It's your move.

Wrong, stupid.

The rook can only move
this way

and this way.

Huh. Geez.

You're like an insult to
nine‐year‐old girls everywhere.

You know, you almost
had me for a while.

First, you know, I thought
you were this little lost girl

with zero fashion sense who was
searching for the light.

And then I thought you were
this badass demon

that was out to kick ass
and eat lives.

I hardly would have
worked up a sweat

had I actually known
I was up against

Casper's not‐very‐bright niece

whose only superpower

was emotional instability
and Candyland.

[ DEMONIC GROWLING ]

[ ROARS ]

[ LIQUID BURBLING ]

[ PAINED SCREECHES ]

‐ Mine!

[ GROWLING ]

♪♪♪ music fades out ♪

[ SIGH ]

[ HEAVY BREATHING ]

♪♪♪ light triumphant music ♪

[ LAUGHING ]

‐ So, that time is booked

but I might be able to
sneak you in at three.

I'm expecting two competing
offers above asking,

so tell your buyer
to bring her checkbook

and practice her kickboxing.

We may have to settle this
in The Octagon.

Okay, bye.

♪♪♪♪♪

‐ Quincy place?

‐ It's what I do.

[ SIGHS; LAUGHS ]

‐ You really saved this, Susan.

You pulled it out
of the fire.

The Quincys are still clients,
Jamie is safe

and I'm not in jail.

And that is all
because of you.

‐ Thank you.

You played a minor,
yet integral role yourself.

‐ I'm just happy
to help the ballclub.

I didn't even mind
when you called me a flake.

I believe the term you employed
was, "an incredible flake."

‐ You mad?

‐ Got into this business
for one thing: to sell houses.

Most of our clients
are skeptics;

they don't believe in the very
thing they hired us to manage.

Now, the best that we can do‐‐
the best you could do‐‐

is make sure that they
believe in us.

You got plans tonight?

‐ Dinner with my mom. You?

‐ Nothing special.

‐ You want to come?

She'd love to meet you!
We're going to make cookies

shaped like little stacks
of closing documents.

‐ Thanks, but, um,

keep your family time.
It's important.

I never realized how important
until my dad died.

Now I know.

♪♪♪ Rock music ♪♪♪

[ UNINTELLIGIBLE DIALOGUE ]

One Mississippi,

two Mississippi,

three Mississ... sippi.

♪♪♪ Gentle music ♪♪♪

‐ CARL:
So, I believe the subject

was angels.

Never trusted them.

‐ Well, you
don't trust anybody.

[ CARL LAUGHS ]

‐ That's a two.

What were
we talking about?

‐ Angels.

‐ Angels! Right!

So...

I could never trust a team
that had in their Hall of Fame

a guy named Vladimir.

I mean, you kids who never
lived through the Cold War,

you don't know
what it was like.

Going through your day,
knowing you could be just

minutes away from a
Russian nuclear attack.

‐ Vladimir Guerrero
was Dominican, not Russian.

‐ That sounds like something
a Russian spy would say.

[ BALL HITTING OBSTACLES ]

You know, that, uh...

that girl you had
out here

the other day
was pretty.

‐ At the batting cages?

You saw Susan.

‐ Yeah, I‐I'm a fool
for redheads.

Always was.

‐ Susan is a co‐worker
and a colleague.

And a real estate
Ninja warrior.

‐ You two, uh, as they say,
are sympatico?

‐ No. And they don't
say that anymore.

‐ Well, it's a new world.

I'm glad I didn't live
to see it.

‐ You going
to putt or what?

‐ You know, you're a
good boy, Luke.

Better than me
in every way.

And that's the way
it should be.

But you always did poorly
with women.

‐ I did poorly?

Do I need to remind you of your
own track record with women?

Why the second Sunday in May
will always tear my guts out?

Except when the Padres win.

Sometimes even then.

[ BLOWING WIND ]

[ HIGH‐PITCHED RINGING ]

♪♪♪ emotional music ♪

Good night, Dad.

[ LIGHTS CLICKING OFF ]

♪♪♪♪♪