Original subtitles

[ Spooky music plays ]

How would you define horror?

If today's people put down their newfangled gizmos

and gadgets for a brief moment,

they probably start rambling on about nonsense

like wars, plagues, and terrorist attacks.

What they would neglect to mention

are the actual horrors of reality,

like witches, ghouls, and alien saucers.

However, after tonight,

you can add something else to that list --

the primal, disturbing horror

of the unknown.

♪♪

[ Bird cawing ]

♪♪

Charlie, what are you supposed to be?

[ Sighs ] He doesn't want to dress up as anything.

Listen, I-I've seen way too many people

get their careers ruined over all the Halloween costumes,

I'm not doing it.

Why don't you just put on some face paint

and be a zombie or something?

Dude, face paint gets people in way more trouble than anything else.

I mean, I have no idea what's going to be

offensive in 10 years.

Oh, come on, Charlie,

where's your Halloween spirit?

When you put on a costume, you can be anything!

Pim, that's insane.

Could regular Pim be

the sharpest gunslinger in the West?

You're not gonna hit that, man.

You need to pick those up when you're done.

Don't leave them all over the floor.

I'm like 100% positive. you're not gonna hit that.

Okay, you actually hit it.

Aah! Oh, my God, Alan, I'm so sorry.

What the [bleep], Pim?

I thought this was safe, Alan.

I really didn't know it could do that.

It's fine. Just no more guns inside, okay?

We're done with the gun stuff,

Everyone, I have some bad news.

Halloween is canceled.

All: Aw!

Yep, we're all out of firewood,

and it's just not the same

without a big Halloween fire pit.

If only someone could wrangle up some firewood.

[ Sighs ] Oh, well.

Oh, I could wrangle up some firewood.

Oh, Pim, that's wonderful!

Follow me. I'll show you where the good stuff is.

All right. Uh, see those woods over there?

Yeah. So I usually just go in there

and pick some crap off the floor and --

-Oh, okay. -What?

Oh, I was just saying okay.

Oh, yeah, it's all good. It's all good.

Uh, but anyway, yeah, it's usually a little bit sparse

this time of year, but if you look hard enough,

you should be able to find something.

[ Chuckles ] Uh, yeah, that sounds pretty easy.

I should be able to do that.

Wait!

One more thing.

Whatever you do,

don't go beyond the rickety bridge.

Why not?

Hmm? Huh?

Because...

you'll get lost!

[ Ominous music plays ] [ Gulps ]

[ Peppy music plays ]

♪ Picking up twigs, picking up twigs ♪

♪ I like, I like picking up twigs ♪

♪ One twig, two twig, three twig, four ♪

♪ I like twigs, and I want some more ♪

[ Chirping tune ]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Bird. Mwah!

Hmm. These twigs are nice and all,

but I wish I had something with a bit more girth.

Oh, that's more like it!

Hmm. What did the boss say

about that rickety bridge again?

Don't go beyond the rickety bridge.

You'll get lost! [ Coughs ]

The boss did say not to go beyond the rickety bridge,

but all the good firewood is there.

Hmm. This truly is a cowboy's dilemma.

If I just mark the trees like a true pioneer,

I'll be able to find my way back, no problem.

[ Hocks loogie ]

Oh, whoops.

[ Ominous music plays ]

♪♪

Well, a cowboy's gotta do what a cowboy's gotta do.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Twig snaps ]

[ Rustling ]

Uh, all right, that's about all I can carry.

I should probably get back to the office anyway.

It's getting late.

Huh? [ Gasps ]

[ Thunder rumbles ]

Ah, what the...

Ah, no, no, no, no! No!

Ah! [ Panting ]

♪♪

Oh, fudge.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Screams ]

Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ah!

[ Screams ]

♪♪

[ Gasping ]

♪♪

[ Panting ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Exhales ]

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Building creaking ]

[ Whimpers ]

I-I'll just stay here till the rain dies down.

Everything -- Everything's gonna be fine.

This place isn't so bad.

In fact, I could see myself settling down here.

Yeah, right there is where my exotic wife will sit

and knit me beautiful quilts.

Hello, wifey!

Hello, Pim. I do love you.

And that's where the younglings will sit and go wild with fun.

Hello, my babies!

Hello, Daddy Pim! Hello, Daddy Pim! Hello, Daddy Pim!

And now there is where I'll toil away on my lovely farm.

Hello, farmy!

[ Thunder crashes ] [ Screams ]

[ Panting ]

♪♪

[ Gasping and grunting ]

What do I do?

Run, Daddy Pim! Run, Daddy Pim! Run, Daddy Pim!

You'll never escape. You're gonna die here, Pim.

Aghhhhh!

[ Gasps and whimpers ]

[ Panting and grunting ]

[ Gasps and screams ]

[ Grunting ]

Oof! [ Groans ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Music calms ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Screeches ] [ Screams ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Screeches ]

[ Screams ]

[ Panting ]

Aaah!

[ Whimpering ]

[ Screeching in distance ]

♪♪

[ Screams ]

[ Screeches ]

[ Screams ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

[ Screeches ]

Whoa, is that [bleep] blackface, dude?

No, no, no, this isn't blackface,

I'm an actual demon.

Bro, please tell me that's not blackface. Are you [bleep] serious?

-Not cool, man. -No, no, no, no.

You don't understand. I'm literally a forest demon

from across the bridge. This isn't a costume.

Get the [bleep] out, man!

[ Crowd murmuring ]

[ Crowd shouting and cheering ]

See, that's exactly the why I don't dress up for Halloween,

right there, that's the reason.

[ Glass shatters, shouting continues ]

[ Cheering ]

[ Glass shatters ]

Yeah, and thanks for wrangling up that firewood, buddy.

Halloween is saved!

[ Shouting and glass shattering continues ]

[ Smoke alarm beeping ]

[ Muffled shouting ]

[ Spooky music plays ]

So, my friends, what did we learn tonight?

The only thing more horrifying than the unknown up there

is the unknown in here.

And if you knew what went on in here,

you'd freak out.

I guess I'm just a bit more demented than most.

Hey, buddy, you can't be hanging around here watching cartoons.

We've been getting complaints all night.

You need to leave. Why?

What law am I breaking?

That'll be Title 18, Chapter 55, Section 55.06 --

loitering and prowling at night.

It's a third-degree misdemeanor.

Okay, I-I didn't know. I...

♪♪

[ Coughs ] Well, excuse me.

[ Farts ]

♪♪

Man: Whooooooo!

[ Laughs evilly ]

♪♪

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

♪♪